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Book
Heart, Mikaya · 2011
Sequence ladder
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Appears in
What this book knows
Women's orgasmic lives are shaped by shame, trauma, and cultural silence — and can be reclaimed through embodied self-knowledge.
embodiment
I got this pleasurable and powerful sensation. It was a complete, very strong body orgasm. I wanted that feeling again.
UGO-007I had my first orgasm when I was five years old in a strawberry patch, lying on my belly and only barely moving. I felt guilty.
UGO-001shame
I feel shame and guilt about not having orgasms. I've never discussed it with any of my friends. But I never talk about what I'm really thinking.
UGO-010My mother was disgusted by anything to do with bodies and sexuality. Even now I often catch myself suppressing and denying my turn-ons.
UGO-006trauma-and-survival
I cut myself off from all my feelings. I thought that sex, making love, and rape were all the same — they were all rape.
UGO-005How have I healed? Therapy, connecting with other incest survivors, having sex when I want to, having the kind of sex I want, learning to love myself.
UGO-00415 published passages · book excerpt · lived experience
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