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Book
Trevor Noah · 2016
Noah's title is literal: under apartheid, his existence as the child of a Black mother and a white father was itself a crime, and the book reads the absurdity of a system that made a person illegal through the only lens that survived it — his mother's, fierce and funny and devout in equal measure.
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Appears in
What this book knows
Race is a costume but color is a cage—surviving apartheid's absurdity forges unbreakable bonds between mother and outlawed child.
shame
Where most children are proof of their parents' love, I was the proof of their criminality.
BC-004The police would kick down the door, drag the people out, beat them, arrest them. With the white person it was more like, 'Don't do it again, eh? Cheers.'
BC-005intimacy
I didn't ask you to have a kid. I asked you to help me to have my kid. Honor me with your yes so that I can live peacefully.
BC-012'Learn from your past and be better because of your past, but don't cry about your past.' None of it ever came from a place of self-pity.
BC-008I cried so hard that if my present crying self could go back in time and see my other crying selves, it would slap them. My cry was not a cry of sadness.
BC-002belonging
I was bullied all the time. They didn't talk to me, and I didn't talk to them. I was playing by myself like I always did.
BC-009Editor’s framing
The comedy is real and it is load-bearing. Noah uses it the way the household used it — as the thing that made an unlivable arrangement livable, a way to hold the violence at the length where you could still look at it. But the book's center is not the jokes; it is Patricia, the mother whose faith, defiance, and refusal to be smaller than the system are the engine of every chapter. Attend to the way race and color separate in his account: race is a costume one can sometimes change, but color is the cage that decides which door the police kick down. Vela reads this on the belonging axis, where the bond between an outlawed child and the woman who refused to apologize for him is the survival mechanism the whole book is built to honor.
Featured passage
Nine months after that yes, on February 20, 1984, my mother checked into Hillbrow Hospital for a scheduled C-section delivery. Estranged from her family, pregnant by a man she could not be seen with in public, she was alone. The doctors took her up to the delivery room, cut open her belly, and reached in and pulled out a half-white, half-black child who violated any number of laws, statutes, and regulations—I was born a crime. Where most children are proof of their parents’ love, I was the proof of their criminality. The only time I could be with my father was indoors. If we left the house, he’d have to walk across the street from us. My mom and I used to go to Joubert Park all the time. It’s the Central Park of Johannesburg—beautiful gardens, a zoo, a giant chessboard with human-sized pieces that people would play. My mother tells me that once, when I was a toddler, my dad tried to go with us. We were in the park, he was walking a good bit away from us, and I ran after him, screaming, “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” People started looking. He panicked and ran away. I thought it was a game and kept chasing him.
Nine months after that yes, on February 20, 1984, my mother checked into Hillbrow Hospital for a scheduled C-section delivery.
Read alongside · the emotions
The shame a system tries to install in a child it has declared illegal — and the mother's refusal to let it land.
15 published passages · book excerpt · lived experience
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