Grief

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

Page 152 of 263 · 20 per page

• From The Beautiful Room Is Empty (1988)

  “There’s nothing secure about suffering,” she said. “Dick is frustrated and wounded. He wants to have sex all the time; I never knew people could be so horny, and I can’t bear for him to touch me. I sit near the window for hours hoping to catch a glimpse of Peg. I invent excuses for going over there. I’m sort of the ringleader for the whole neighborhood, all the women admire me; but I create activities just to involve Peg and have another excuse for being with her. The kids—I love my kids, but they make me nervous, and I suppose I sometimes snap at them because I think that without them I could leave Dick.” I feared my sister would suffer for years to come. Although her coming out meant that I’d lost my sole hostage to normality, at the same time her homosexuality exonerated me. There was something—genetic or psychological—in our family that had made us both gay. I asked her if she’d told our father. I wanted her to share my culpability in his eyes. But she wept and pleaded with me not to give her away. I understood that just as I was married to our mother, she was married to our father. Maria would stop off in Chicago now to see my mother and sister on her way home to Iowa. When I was growing up, my mother had had a horror of evenings out with the girls and had frequently said, with a smile, “I like men.” But now, without ever renouncing that theoretical preference, she grew closer and closer to Maria. And my sister, bewildered by the tough lesbian world she saw at the bars (she and Maria went back to the Volley Ball in Chicago), found in Maria someone she could emulate. I did not travel. I didn’t experience the melancholy of tramp steamers or of mornings waking up cold in tents. I stayed on in New York. I went out a lot and I had new adventures, but I never forgot Sean. At last he wrote me that he’d found a lumberjack for a lover and they’d opened a dude ranch in Arizona. He said I’d been “too gay” for him. I lived too much in the “ghetto.” But I hadn’t caused his breakdown. His suffering had been due to money pressures, intellectual self-doubt, and the “usual” coming-out anxieties. What he liked about his lumberjack, he said, was that no one would ever guess he was gay, not in a million years. A million years passed. Lou called me one day. “Wanna turn a trick? I’ve got a double for us. Two johns from Akron in a midtown hotel room.” He gave me the address and I joined him.

• From The Beautiful Room Is Empty (1988)

  In therapy I became so expert in spotting covert games that Dale herself would sometimes ask me for my opinion. Once in a great while someone would notice that I had said nothing about myself for ages, but I was too valuable an ally to alienate. In my mind I was earning chips I’d be able to cash in one wonderful day when I would need everyone’s attention and sympathy. One night over supper with Maria I yawned and said, “Of course Maeve was just playing Yes, But.” “What do you mean?” Maria asked. “That’s one of the games people play,” and I went on to explain it with majestic confidence. Maria put her knife and fork down and grew silent. Without raising her eyes she said, “When I met you, you had one of the sharpest, most open, most skeptical minds I’d ever encountered. Now you’ve become the dullest sort of bigot. You see absolutely every last thing through those ridiculous therapeutic glasses. You’re as smug as a Catholic convert or an American Marxist without enjoying the intellectual range and depth of either system.” “Why do you find my therapy so threatening, Maria?” I asked, already trying to label the game she was playing. “You’re my best friend, Dumpling, but I don’t think I can continue this friendship if you don’t change. I can’t bear to see the wreck you’ve made of your mind. It’s all because you can’t accept being gay, which isn’t such a big deal. You’re still white, a man, handsome, charming, from a well-to-do family, intelligent—everything’s been handed to you, but you—” Keep collecting injustices, I thought, naming one of the games members sometimes played. Maria’s case interested me. I noticed how she was slowly giving up her pro-Russian stand in favor of feminism. Women’s rights. I asked her what earthly rights women lacked. They could already vote, divorce, work. Maria became so angry with me that she had to swallow an extra high-blood-pressure pill. Her voice shaking, she told me how women earned half of what men made for the same work but how they were usually refused the better jobs. “The woman problem is a poverty problem,” she said. “You joke around about whether to say Miss or Ms., but the real issue is poverty. Most of the poor families in America are headed by single women, usually black.” We ordered brandies. She said, “Do you remember how we used to smile at Buddy and Betts, those two old dykes at Solitaire? We used to think it was so amusing the way Betts played the malade imaginaire. I just got a letter from the colony director telling me that Betts’s malady was hunger. The poor old things didn’t have any money, and Buddy got too old to be the sheriff. They never did have much money. Then Buddy started drinking. Last winter they both froze to death.” Maria’s eyes filled with tears. “Those lovable old eccentrics were starving.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  32 When Mary came [to the place] where Jesus was and saw Him, she fell at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.” 33 When Jesus saw her sobbing, and the Jews who had come with her also sobbing, He was f deeply moved in spirit [to the point of anger at the sorrow caused by death] and was troubled, 34 and said, “Where have you laid him?” They said, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Jesus wept. 36 So the Jews were saying, “See how He loved him [as a close friend]!” 37 But some of them said, “Could not this Man, who opened the blind man’s eyes, have kept this man from dying?” 38 So Jesus, again deeply moved within [to the point of anger], approached the tomb. It was a cave, and a boulder was lying against it [to cover the entrance]. 39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to Him, “Lord, by this time there will be an offensive odor, for he has been dead four days! [It is hopeless!]” 40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you believe [in Me], you will see the glory of God [the expression of His excellence]?” 41 So they took away the stone. And Jesus raised His eyes [toward heaven] and said, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. 42 “I knew that You always hear Me and listen to Me; but I have said this because of the people standing around, so that they may believe that You have sent Me [and that You have made Me Your representative].” 43 When He had said this, He shouted with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 Out came the man who had been dead, his hands and feet tightly wrapped in burial cloths (linen strips), and with a [burial] cloth wrapped around his face. Jesus said to them, “Unwrap him and release him.” 45 So then, many of the Jews who had come to [be with] Mary and who were eyewitnesses to what Jesus had done, believed in Him. 46 But some of them went back to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus had done. Conspiracy to Kill Jesus 47 So the chief priests and Pharisees convened a council [of the leaders in Israel], and said, “What are we doing? For this man performs many signs (attesting miracles). 48 “If we let Him go on like this, everyone will believe in Him, and the Romans will come and take away both our [holy] place (the temple) and our nation.” 49 But one of them, g Caiaphas, who was the high priest that year [the year of Christ’s crucifixion], said to them, “You know nothing at all!

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  10 “I will take up a weeping and wailing for the mountains, And a [funeral] dirge for the pastures of the wilderness, Because they are burned up and desolated so that no one passes through [them]; Nor can anyone hear the lowing of cattle. Both the birds of the air and the beasts have fled; they are gone. 11 “I will make Jerusalem a heap of ruins, A haunt and dwelling place of jackals; And I will make the cities of Judah a desolation, without inhabitant.” 12 Who is the wise man who may understand this [without any doubt]? To whom has the mouth of the LORD spoken, so that he may declare it? Why is the land ruined, laid waste like a wilderness, so that no one passes through? 13 The LORD said, “Because they have a turned away from My law which I set before them, and have not listened to and obeyed My voice nor walked in accordance with it, 14 but have walked stubbornly after their [own] heart and after the Baals, as their fathers taught them,” 15 therefore thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, “behold, I will feed them, this people, with wormwood and give them bitter and poisonous water to drink. 16 “I will [also] scatter them among nations that neither they nor their fathers have known, and I will send the sword after them until I have annihilated them.” 17 Thus says the LORD of hosts, “Consider and call for the mourning women to come; Send for the wailing women to come. 18 “Let them hurry and take up a wailing for us, That our eyes may shed tears And our eyelids flow with water. 19 “For a sound of wailing is heard [coming] from Zion: ‘How we are ruined! We are greatly perplexed and utterly shamed, Because we have left the land, Because they have torn down our dwellings.’ ” 20 Now hear the word of the LORD , O you women, And let your ear hear the word of His mouth; Teach your daughters a song of mourning, And each one [teach] her neighbor a dirge. 21 For death has come up through our windows; It has entered our palaces, Cutting off the children from the streets And the young men from the town squares.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  10 “But if anyone walks in the night, he stumbles, because there is no light in him.” 11 He said this, and after that said, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him.” 12 The disciples answered, “Lord, if he has fallen asleep, he will recover.” 13 However, Jesus had spoken of his death, but they thought that He was referring to natural sleep. 14 So then Jesus told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead. 15 “And for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.” 16 Then Thomas, who was called Didymus (the twin), said to his fellow disciples, “Let us go too, that we may die with Him.” 17 So when Jesus arrived, He found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb c four days. 18 Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles away; 19 and many of the Jews had come to see Martha and Mary, to comfort them concerning [the loss of] their brother. 20 So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went to meet Him, while Mary remained sitting in the house. 21 Then Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 “Even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give to You.” 23 Jesus told her, “Your brother will rise [from the dead].” 24 Martha replied, “I know that he will rise [from the dead] in the resurrection on the last day.” 25 Jesus said to her, “ d I am the Resurrection and the Life. Whoever believes in (adheres to, trusts in, relies on) Me [as Savior] will live even if he dies; 26 and everyone who lives and believes in Me [as Savior] will never die. Do you believe this?” 27 She said to Him, “Yes, Lord; I have believed and continue to believe that You are the Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed), the Son of God, e He who was [destined and promised] to come into the world [and it is for You that the world has waited].” 28 After she had said this, she left and called her sister Mary, privately whispering [to her], “The Teacher is here and is asking for you.” 29 And when she heard this, she got up quickly and went to Him. 30 Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met Him. 31 So when the Jews who were with her in the house comforting her, saw how quickly Mary got up and left, they followed her, assuming that she was going to the tomb to weep there.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  3 ‘You will not escape from his hand, for you will definitely be captured and handed over to him; you will see the king of Babylon eye to eye, and he will speak with you face to face; and you will go to Babylon.’ ” ’ 4 “Yet hear the word of the LORD , O Zedekiah king of Judah! Thus says the LORD concerning you, ‘You will not die by the sword. 5 ‘You will die in peace; and as spices were burned for [the memory and honor of] your fathers, the former kings who reigned before you, so shall a [ceremonial] burning be made for you; and people will lament (grieve) for you, saying, “Alas, lord (master)!” ’ For I have spoken the word,” says the LORD . 6 Then Jeremiah the prophet spoke all these words to Zedekiah king of Judah in Jerusalem 7 when the army of the king of Babylon was fighting against Jerusalem and against all the remaining cities of Judah, against Lachish and Azekah, for these were the [only] fortified cities among the cities of Judah. 8 The word came to Jeremiah from the LORD after King Zedekiah had made a covenant (solemn pledge) with all the [Hebrew] people who were [slaves] in Jerusalem to proclaim liberty to them: 9 that every man should let his Hebrew slaves, male and female, go free, so that no one should make a slave of a Jew, his brother. 10 So all the princes and all the people who had entered into the covenant agreed that everyone would let his male servant and his female servant go free, and that no one would keep them in bondage any longer; they obeyed, and set them free . 11 But afterward they backed out [of the covenant] and made the male servants and the female servants whom they had set free return [to them], and brought the male servants and the female servants again into servitude. 12 Therefore the word of the LORD came to Jeremiah from the LORD , saying, 13 “Thus says the LORD , the God of Israel, ‘I made a covenant (solemn pledge) with your forefathers in the day that I brought them out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage, saying, 14 “At the end of seven years each of you shall set free his Hebrew brother who has sold himself [into servitude] or who has been sold to you and has served you six years, you shall release him from [serving] you; but your forefathers did not listen [submissively] to Me or obey Me. [Deut 15:12 ] 15 “So then you recently turned and repented, doing what was right in My sight, each man proclaiming release [from servitude] to his countryman [who was his bond servant]; and you had made a covenant before Me in the house which is called by My a Name.

• From Henry Miller on Writing (1964)

  I proved to my satisfaction that, like any other mortal, I too could write. But since I wasn’t really meant to be a writer all that was permitted me to give expression to was this business of writing and being a writer; in short, my own private struggles with this problem. My grief, in other words. Out of the lack I made my song. Very much as if a warrior, challenged to mortal combat and having no weapons, must first forge them himself. And in the process, one that takes all his life, the purpose of his labors gets forgotten or sidetracked. Sometimes I say to myself, quite seriously, I mean: “when will you begin to write?” Write like other writers do. Like Larry, for instance, who is definitely what is called “a born writer.” Or, to put it another way, like Larry who has respect and reverence for his tools, his material. What I have done all through my work is to repeat: “This is the best I can do; take it or leave it.” Or again: “If it isn’t literature, call it what you like. I don’t give a damn.” This, I suppose, is the “je m ’en foutisme ” you refer to. And there is truth in it. When I said that I only approximated what I wanted to say in writing I meant that I do understand what writers are about when they undertake to give us a book. And that I too am aware of what I am about during the genesis of a book. But I never seem capable of submitting to the discipline demanded of an author. And you are again right when you speak of this day by day business. I would even stretch it and say hour by hour. My whole life is a kind of sparking activity. I spark, I don’t glow steadily, like a sun. Hence my adoration for the sages, the masters, the great teachers of life. In a word, my infatuation with “serenity.” It must strike you as quite fatuous, my saying this. Did you ever suspect anything of the sort of me? I seem to hear you laughing, saying to yourself—“he’s in another mood today.” But the truth is that from a very early age this thought formed itself and led me to seek out strange individuals, strange books, even strange adventures. When I come into the presence of the serene at heart I am completely myself, thoroughly stilled, at one with the world, and only then living, living in the full sense of the word. All other times, and they may be good, bad or indifferent, I am not myself but another—“l’autre .” Many others. There’s no harm in it, to be sure. It may not be in the least injurious—to the psyche or the immortal soul or what have you.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  They also killed the servants with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” 16 While he was still speaking, another [messenger] also came and said, “The fire of God (lightning) has fallen from the heavens and has burned up the sheep and the servants and consumed them, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” 17 While he was still speaking, another [messenger] also came and said, “The f Chaldeans formed three bands and made a raid on the camels and have taken them away and have killed the servants with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” 18 While he was still speaking, another [messenger] also came and said, “Your sons and your daughters were eating and drinking wine in their oldest brother’s house, 19 and suddenly, a great wind came from across the desert, and struck the four corners of the house, and it fell on the young people and they died, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” 20 Then Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head [in mourning for the children], and he fell to the ground and worshiped [God]. 21 He said, “Naked (without possessions) I came [into this world] from my mother’s womb, And naked I will return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; Blessed be the name of the LORD .” 22 Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God. Job 2 Job Loses His Health 1 A GAIN THERE was a day when the sons of God (angels) came to present themselves before the LORD , and Satan (adversary, accuser) also came among them to present himself before the LORD . 2 The LORD said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Then Satan answered the LORD , “From roaming around on the earth and from walking around on it.” 3 The LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered and reflected on My servant Job? For there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God [with reverence] and abstains from and turns away from evil [because he honors God]. And still he maintains and holds tightly to his integrity, although you incited Me against him to destroy him without cause.” 4 Satan answered the LORD , “a Skin for skin! Yes, a man will give all he has for his life. 5 “But put forth Your hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh [and severely afflict him]; and he will curse You to Your face.” 6 So the LORD said to Satan, “Behold, he is in your hand, only spare his life.” 7 So Satan departed from the presence of the LORD and struck Job with loathsome boils and agonizingly painful sores from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  14 “I will make you [Tyre] a d bare rock; you will be a dry place on which to spread nets. You will never be rebuilt, for I the LORD have spoken,” says the Lord GOD . 15 Thus says the Lord GOD to Tyre, “Shall not the coastlands shake at the sound of your fall when the wounded groan, when the slaughter occurs in your midst? 16 “Then all the princes of the sea will go down from their thrones and remove their robes and take off their embroidered garments. They will clothe themselves with trembling; they will sit on the ground, tremble again and again, and be appalled at you. 17 “They will take up a dirge (funeral poem to be sung) for you and say to you, ‘How you have perished and vanished, O renowned city, From the seas, O renowned city, Which was mighty on the sea, She and her inhabitants, Who imposed her terror On all who lived there! 18 ‘Now the coastlands will tremble On the day of your fall; Yes, the coastlands which are by the sea Will be terrified at your departure.’ ” 19 For thus says the Lord GOD , “When I make you a desolate city, like the cities which are not inhabited, when I bring up the deep over you and great waters cover you, 20 then I will bring you down with those who descend into the pit (the place of the dead), to the people of old, and I will make you [Tyre] live in the depths of the earth, like the ancient ruins, with those who go down to the pit, so that you will not be inhabited; but I will set glory and splendor in the land of the living. 21 “I will bring terrors on you and you will be no more. Though you will be sought, yet you will never be found again,” says the Lord GOD . Ezekiel 27 Dirge for Tyre 1 T HE WORD of the LORD came to me again, saying, 2 “Now you, son of man, take up a dirge (funeral poem to be sung) for Tyre, 3 and say to Tyre, who lives at the entrance to the sea, merchant of the peoples to many coastlands, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD , “O Tyre, you have said, ‘I am perfect in beauty.’ 4 “Your borders are in the heart of the seas; Your builders have perfected your beauty. 5 “They have made all your planks of fir trees from a Senir; They have taken a cedar from Lebanon to make a mast for you. 6 “Of the oaks of Bashan they have made your oars; They have made your deck of boxwood from the coastlands of Cyprus, inlaid with ivory. 7 “Your sail was of fine embroidered linen from Egypt So that it became your distinguishing mark (insignia); Your [ship’s] awning [which covered you] was blue and purple from the coasts of Elishah [of Asia Minor].

• From Beyond Respectability: The Intellectual Thought of Race Women (2017)

  Both women married men who were remarkably progressive on gender issues. “Some of my husband’s friends,” Terrell wrote, “warned him gravely against allowing his wife to wade too deeply into public affairs. … When a woman became deeply interested in civic affairs and started on a public career, they said, that was the beginning of a disastrous end. Under such circumstances a happy home is impossible.”53 To his credit, Robert Terrell supported his wife’s career and had been an early supporter of women’s suffrage. In fact, Terrell noted that she had little confidence in her ability to speak and was reluctant to take on speaking engagements that were offered to her. “This irritated my husband considerably,” who thought that “when so few colored women had been fortunate enough to complete a college course … it was a shame for any of them to refuse to render service which it was in their power to give.”54 Both Ferdinand Barnett (husband of Wells) and Robert Terrell had the kind of liberal views on marriage and gender roles that enabled their wives to pursue public careers without causing tension at home. After resigning her position as teacher in the M Street School because married women were not allowed to teach, Mary threw herself fully into both club work and motherhood. Despite the Terrells’ attempt to start a family immediately, the couple lost three pregnancies in five years, one of which was a son who died shortly after birth. Middle-class privilege notwithstanding, Terrell could not escape the racist exigencies of late-nineteenth-century medical care. Tormented by the loss of her infant son, she wrote, “I could not help feeling that some of the methods used in caring for my baby had caused its untimely end,” including the use of a makeshift incubator. She sank into a deep depression after the loss of her son that only intensified because of the lynching of her childhood friend from Memphis, Tom Moss.55 He and two business partners were lynched for defending themselves against a group of white men in town who were jealous of his grocery business. It was this same lynching that launched Ida B. Wells’s antilynching crusade. Perhaps it was best, Terrell morbidly concluded, that her son had not survived. Invoking a belief in impressibility, she wondered if “[t]he horror and resentment … coupled with the bitterness that filled my soul might have seriously affected the unborn child. Who can tell how many desperadoes and murderers have been born to colored mothers who had been shocked and distracted before the birth of their babies by the news that some relative or friend had been burned alive or shot to death by a mob?”56

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  It would have been good for that man if he had never been born.” [Ps 41:9 ] 25 And Judas, the betrayer, said, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi?” Jesus said to him, “ k You have said it yourself.” The Lord’s Supper Instituted 26 Now as they were eating Jesus took bread, and after l blessing it, He broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is My body.” [Mark 14:22–25 ; Luke 22:17–20 ; 1 Cor 11:23–25 ] 27 And when He had taken a cup and m given thanks, He gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you; 28 for this is My blood of the [new and better] covenant, which [ratifies the agreement and] is being poured out for many [as a n substitutionary atonement] for the forgiveness of sins . [Ex 24:6–8 ] 29 “But I say to you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in My Father’s kingdom.” 30 After singing a o hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. 31 Then Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away because of Me this night [disillusioned about Me, confused, and some even ashamed of Me], for it is written [in the Scriptures], ‘I WILL STRIKE THE S HEPHERD , AND THE SHEEP OF THE FLOCK WILL BE SCATTERED .’ [Zech 13:7 ] 32 “But after I am raised [to life], I will go ahead of you [leading the way] to Galilee.” 33 Peter replied to Him, “Though they all fall away because of You [and doubt and disown You], I will never fall away!” [Mark 14:29–31 ; Luke 22:33 , 34 ; John 13:37 , 38 ] 34 Jesus said to him, “I assure you and most solemnly say to you, this night, before a rooster crows, you will [completely] deny Me three times.” 35 Peter said to Jesus, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!” And all the disciples said the same thing. The Garden of Gethsemane 36 Then Jesus came with them to a place called p Gethsemane (olive-press), and He told His disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” [Mark 14:32–42 ; Luke 22:40–46 ] 37 And taking with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee [James and John], He began to be grieved and greatly distressed. 38 Then He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, so that I am almost dying of sorrow.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  13 Clothe yourselves with sackcloth And lament (cry out in grief), O priests; Wail, O ministers of the altar! Come, spend the night in sackcloth [and pray without ceasing], O ministers of my God, For the grain offering and the drink offering Are withheld from the house of your God. Starvation and Drought 14 Consecrate a fast, Proclaim a solemn assembly, Gather the elders And all the inhabitants of the land To the house of the LORD your God, And cry out to the LORD [in penitent pleadings]. 15 Alas for the day! For the [judgment] day of the LORD is at hand, And it will come [upon the nation] as a destruction from the c Almighty. [Zeph 1:14–18 ] 16 Has not the food been cut off before our eyes, Joy and gladness from the house of our God? 17 The seeds [of grain] shrivel under the clods, The storehouses are desolate and empty, The barns are in ruins Because the grain is dried up. 18 How the animals groan! The herds of cattle are bewildered and wander aimlessly Because they have no pasture; Even the flocks of sheep suffer. 19 O LORD , I cry out to You, For fire has devoured the pastures of the wilderness, And the flame has burned up all the trees of the field. 20 Even the wild animals pant [in longing] for You; For the water brooks are dried up And fire has consumed the pastures of the wilderness. Joel 2 The Terrible Visitation 1 B LOW THE trumpet in Zion [warning of impending judgment], Sound an alarm on My holy mountain [Zion]! Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble and shudder in fear, For the [judgment] day of the LORD is coming; It is close at hand, [Ezek 7:2–4 ; Amos 5:16–20 ] 2 A day of darkness and gloom, A day of clouds and of thick [dark] mist, Like the dawn spread over the mountains; There is a [pagan, hostile] people numerous and mighty, The like of which has never been before Nor will be again afterward Even for years of many generations. 3 Before them a fire devours, And behind them a flame burns; Before them the land is like the Garden of Eden, But behind them a desolate wilderness; And nothing at all escapes them. 4 Their appearance is like the appearance of horses, And they run like war horses. 5 Like the noise of chariots They leap on the tops of the mountains, Like the crackling of a flame of fire devouring the stubble, Like a mighty people set in battle formation. [Rev 9:7 , 9 ] 6 Before them the people are in anguish; All faces become pale [with terror]. 7 They run like warriors; They climb the wall like soldiers. They each march [straight ahead] in line, And they do not deviate from their paths. 8 They do not crowd each other; Each one marches in his path.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  9 “For this perfume might have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.” 10 But Jesus, aware [of the malice] of this [remark], said to them, “Why are you bothering the woman? She has done a good thing to Me. 11 “For you always have the poor with you; but you will not always have Me. [Deut 15:11 ; Mark 14:7 ] 12 “When she poured this perfume on My body, she did it to prepare Me for burial. 13 “I assure you and most solemnly say to you, wherever this gospel [of salvation] is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told in memory of her [for her act of love and devotion].” Judas’ Bargain 14 Then one of the twelve [disciples], who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests 15 and said, “What are you willing to give me if I hand Jesus over to you?” And they weighed out g thirty pieces of silver. [Ex 21:32 ; Zech 11:12 ] 16 And from that moment Judas began looking for an opportune time to betray Jesus. [Mark 14:10 , 11 ; Luke 22:3–6 ; John 6:71 ] 17 Now on the first day of h Unleavened Bread (Passover Week) the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Where do You want us to prepare for You to eat the Passover?” [Mark 14:12–16 ; Luke 22:7–13 ] 18 He said, “Go into the city to i a certain man, and say to him, ‘The Teacher says, “My time [to suffer and atone for sin] is near; I am to keep the Passover at your house with My disciples.” ’ ” 19 [Accordingly] the disciples did as Jesus had directed them, and they prepared the Passover. [Deut 16:5–8 ] The Last Passover 20 When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the twelve disciples. [Mark 14:17–21 ] 21 And as they were eating, He said, “I assure you and most solemnly say to you that one of you will betray Me.” 22 Being deeply grieved and extremely distressed, each one of them began to say to Him, “Surely not I, Lord?” 23 Jesus answered, “He who has dipped his hand in the bowl with Me [as a j pretense of friendship] will betray Me. 24 “The Son of Man is to go [to the cross], just as it is written [in Scripture] of Him; but woe (judgment is coming) to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed!

• From Beyond Respectability: The Intellectual Thought of Race Women (2017)

  Murray’s own personal process of “becoming” a woman coincided with her recognition and increasing acknowledgment of sexism and embrace of feminism as a response to it. Feminism and, in particular, her experience and naming of Jane Crow, helped Murray to reconcile herself with femaleness and womanhood. But her quip to the admissions committee at Harvard Law School points to an ongoing disidentification with dominant gender ideology. In exactly the same moment that she admitted to being female, she also claimed the positionality of having a “male perspective” on things. José Esteban Muñoz argues that disidentification is “a mode of dealing with dominant ideology, one that neither opts to assimilate within such a structure nor strictly opposes it.”41 Disidentification in this regard is different from identification or counter-identification. Identification encodes a notion of wholesale acceptance, while counter-identification encodes a notion of wholesale rejection. Disidentification means that one identifies with some aspects of an oppressive system and rejects others, in pragmatic ways that allow one to live and thrive. In Murray’s case, on the one hand, she did not fully see herself as a woman. On the other, she recognized that the discrimination she experienced had everything to do with her being female. So at exactly the same moment that she named Jane Crow as a form of sexist discrimination that she experienced as a woman, she was frequently being hospitalized for depression related to her struggle with her gender identity. But she chose to acknowledge the biological fact of her femaleness and came to believe in a set of political commitments that challenged sexism. She always resisted a strict feminine gender performance, but she did come to identify as a woman. In this way, her strategies of negotiation and survival constitute a form of disidentification with the dominant gender norms she encountered during the 1930s and 1940s. Because scientific thinking about transgender identity would not fully emerge until the 1950s, Murray turned to feminism to help her think more critically about what it meant to be both female and a woman. Though the biological fact of her femaleness indexed a range of problems related to her personal identity construction, feminism helped her to articulate concretely, if partially, some of the oppressions that she experienced as a female-bodied person. Though it could not, at the time, provide an adequate framework for negotiating her own emergent—and perhaps arrested—transgender identity, feminism did allow Murray to think productively about being a femalebodied person, since an overt male gender-queer performance would not be an option in the circles of racial leadership.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  8 And Job took a piece of broken pottery with which to scrape himself, and he sat [down] among the ashes (rubbish heaps). 9 Then his wife said to him, “Do you still cling to your integrity [and your faith and trust in God, without blaming Him]? Curse God and die!” 10 But he said to her, “You speak as one of the [spiritually] foolish women speaks [ignorant and oblivious to God’s will]. Shall we indeed accept [only] good from God and not [also] accept adversity and disaster?” In [spite of] all this Job did not sin with [words from] his lips. 11 Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, each one came from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite; for they had made an appointment together to come to sympathize with him and to comfort him. 12 When they looked from a distance and did not recognize him [because of his disfigurement], they raised their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe [in grief] and they threw dust over their heads toward the sky [in sorrow]. 13 So they sat down on the ground with Job for seven days and seven nights and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great. Job 3 Job’s Lament 1 A FTER THIS, Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth . 2 a And Job said, 3 “Let the day on which I was born perish, And the night which announced: ‘There is a man-child conceived.’ 4 “May that day be darkness; Let God above not care about it, Nor light shine on it. 5 “Let darkness and gloom claim it for their own; Let a cloud settle upon it; Let all that blackens the day terrify it (the day that I was born). 6 “As for that night, let darkness seize it; Let it not rejoice among the days of the year; Let it not be counted in the number of the months. 7 “Behold, let that night be barren [and empty]; Let no joyful voice enter it. 8 “Let those curse it b who curse the day, Who are skilled in rousing up Leviathan. 9 “Let the stars of its early dawn be dark; Let the morning wait in vain for the light, Let it not see the eyelids of morning (the day’s dawning), 10 Because it did not shut the doors of my mother’s womb, Nor hide trouble from my eyes. 11 “Why did I not die at birth, Come forth from the womb and expire? 12 “Why did the knees receive me? And why the breasts, that I would nurse?

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  8 ‘The cedars in the garden of God could not hide or rival it; The cypress trees did not have boughs like it, And the a plane trees did not have branches like it. No tree in the garden of God was like it in its beauty. 9 ‘I made it beautiful with the great mass of its branches, So that all the trees of b Eden which were in the garden of God were jealous of it (Assyria). 10 ‘Therefore thus says the Lord GOD , “Because it is high in stature and has set its top among the thick boughs and the clouds, and its heart is proud of its height, [2 Kin 18:31–35 ] 11 I will c hand it over to a mighty one and a mighty one of the nations; he will most certainly deal with it. I have driven it away in accordance with its wickedness. 12 “Alien tyrants of the nations have cut it down and left it; its foliage has fallen on the mountains and in all the valleys and its branches have been broken in all the ravines of the land. And all the nations of the earth have come from under its shade and have left it. 13 “All the birds of the sky will nest in its ruins, and all the animals of the field will rest on its fallen branches 14 so that none of the trees by the waters may exalt themselves because of their height, nor set their top among the clouds, nor their well-watered mighty ones stand [arrogantly] in their height. For they have all been handed over to death, to the earth beneath, among the sons of men, with those who go down to the pit (the grave).” 15 ‘Thus says the Lord GOD , “On the day when Assyria went down to Sheol (the place of the dead) I caused mourning; I closed the deep [subterranean waters] over it and restrained its rivers. And the many waters [that contributed to its prosperity] were held back; and I made [the heart of] Lebanon mourn for it, and all the trees of the field wilted away because of it. 16 “I made the nations quake at the sound of its fall when I cast it down to Sheol with those who descend into the pit; and all the well-watered trees of Eden, the choicest and the best of Lebanon, will be comforted in the earth beneath [at Assyria’s downfall]. 17 “They also went down to Sheol with it to those who were slain by the sword; those who were its strength lived under its shade among the nations. 18 “Which among the trees of Eden do you equal in glory and in greatness [O Egypt]? Yet you [also] will be brought down with the trees of Eden to the earth beneath (nether world). You will lie among the d uncircumcised (the barbaric, the boorish, the crude) with those who were slain by the sword.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  Therewithal she fell into such a passion of woe that she was like to cast herself down from the tower to the ground; but, the sun being now risen and she drawing near to one side of the walls of the tower, to look if any boy should pass with cattle, whom she might send for her maid, it chanced that the scholar, who had slept awhile at the foot of a bush, awaking, saw her and she him; whereupon quoth he to her, 'Good day, madam; are the damsels come yet?' The lady, seeing and hearing him, began afresh to weep sore and besought him to come within the tower, so she might speak with him. In this he was courteous enough to comply with her and she laying herself prone on the platform and showing only her head at the opening, said, weeping, 'Assuredly, Rinieri, if I gave thee an ill night, thou hast well avenged thyself of me, for that, albeit it is July, I have thought to freeze this night, naked as I am, more by token that I have so sore bewept both the trick I put upon thee and mine own folly in believing thee that it is a wonder I have any eyes left in my head. Wherefore I entreat thee, not for the love of me, whom thou hast no call to love, but for the love of thyself, who are a gentleman, that thou be content, for vengeance of the injury I did thee, with that which thou hast already done and cause fetch me my clothes and suffer me come down hence, nor seek to take from me that which thou couldst not after restore me, an thou wouldst, to wit, my honour; for, if I took from thee the being with me that night, I can render thee many nights for that one, whenassoever it liketh thee. Let this, then, suffice and let it content thee, as a man of honour, to have availed to avenge thyself and to have caused me confess it. Seek not to use thy strength against a woman; no glory is it for an eagle to have overcome a dove, wherefore, for the love of God and thine own honour, have pity on me.'

• From Beyond Respectability: The Intellectual Thought of Race Women (2017)

  it was a shame for any of them to refuse to render service which it was in their power to give.” 54 Both Ferdinand Barnett (husband of Wells) and Robert Terrell had the kind of liberal views on marriage and gender roles that enabled their wives to pursue public careers without causing tension at home. After resigning her position as teacher in the M Street School because married women were not allowed to teach, Mary threw herself fully into both club work and motherhood. Despite the Terrells’ attempt to start a family immediately, the couple lost three pregnancies in five years, one of which was a son who died shortly after birth. Middle-class privilege notwithstanding, Terrell could not escape the racist exigencies of late-nineteenth-century medical care. Tormented by the loss of her infant son, she wrote, “I could not help feeling that some of the methods used in caring for my baby had caused its untimely end,” including the use of a makeshift incubator. She sank into a deep depression after the loss of her son that only intensified because of the lynching of her childhood friend from Memphis, Tom Moss. 55 He and two business partners were lynched for defending themselves against a group of white men in town who were jealous of his grocery business. It was this same lynching that launched Ida B. Wells’s antilynching crusade. Perhaps it was best, Terrell morbidly concluded, that her son had not survived. Invoking a belief in impressibility, she wondered if “[t]he horror and resentment ... coupled with the bitterness that filled my soul might have seriously affected the unborn child. Who can tell how many desperadoes and murderers have been born to colored mothers who had been shocked and distracted before the birth of their babies by the news that some relative or friend had been burned alive or shot to death by a mob?” 56 Her use of intersectional framing makes visible the uniquely volatile and unsafe conditions under which colored women gave birth to children. The idea that racial traumas could create heritable traits related to social deviance reflected the deeply embodied sense through which Black women understood themselves and their experiences as racial beings. She did not elaborate on her beliefs, but her beliefs do illustrate the stakes of embodied discourse for Black women. It was important for their lives to reflect the highest forms of racial and social values because they literally carried those values within their bodies and believed they could physically transmit them to their children. Moreover, Terrell’s discussion of Black women’s particular embodiment of racial trauma and its attendant pain and despair suggests that she thought and cared deeply about the social and material impacts of racial violence on Black women’s bodies. To Trip the Light Fantastic: The Pursuit of Pleasure Terrell’s invocation of embodied discourse in Colored Woman did not only index Black women’s pain and trauma. She also deliberately inserted a body in search of pleasure into her text.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  18 Oh, that I (Jeremiah) could find comfort from my sorrow [for my grief is beyond healing], My heart is sick and faint within me! 19 Behold, [hear the sound of] the cry of the daughter of my people from the distant land [of Babylon]: “Is not the LORD in Zion? Is not her King within her?” [But the LORD answers] “Why have they provoked Me to anger with their carved images and with foreign idols?” 20 “The harvest is past, the summer has ended and the gathering of fruit is over, But we are not saved,” [comes the voice of the people again]. 21 For the brokenness of the daughter of my people I (Jeremiah) am broken; I mourn, anxiety has gripped me. 22 Is there no balm in d Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why then has not the [spiritual] health of the daughter of my people been restored? Jeremiah 9 A Lament over Zion 1 O H THAT my head were waters And my eyes a fountain of tears, That I might weep day and night For the slain of the daughter of my people! 2 Oh that I had in the wilderness A lodging place (a mere shelter) for wayfaring men, That I might leave my people And go away from them! For they are all adulterers [worshiping idols instead of the LORD ], [They are] an assembly of treacherous men [of weak character, men without integrity]. 3 “They bend their tongue like their bow; [Their] lies and not truth prevail and grow strong in the land; For they proceed from evil to evil, And they do not know and understand and acknowledge Me,” says the LORD . 4 “Let everyone beware of his neighbor And do not trust any brother. For every brother is a supplanter [like Jacob, a deceiver, ready to grab his brother’s heel], And every neighbor goes around as a slanderer. [Gen 25:26 ] 5 “Everyone deceives and mocks his neighbor And does not speak the truth. They have taught their tongue to speak lies; They exhaust themselves with sin and cruelty. 6 “Your dwelling is in the midst of deceit [oppression upon oppression and deceit upon deceit]; Through deceit they refuse to know (understand) Me,” says the LORD . 7 Therefore thus says the LORD of hosts, “Behold, I will refine them [through suffering] and test them; For how else should I deal with the daughter of My people? 8 “Their tongue is a murderous arrow; It speaks deceit; With his mouth one speaks peace to his neighbor, But in his heart he lays traps and waits in ambush for him. 9 “Shall I not punish them for these things?” says the LORD . “Shall I not avenge Myself On such a nation as this?

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  They will not be mourned or buried; they will be like dung on the surface of the ground and come to an end by sword and famine, and their dead bodies will be food for the birds of the air and for the beasts of the earth.” 5 For thus says the LORD , “Do not enter a house of mourning, nor go to lament (express grief) or bemoan [the dead], for I have taken My peace away from this people,” says the LORD , “even My lovingkindness and compassion. 6 “Both great men and small will die in this land; they will not be buried, nor will they be lamented (mourned over with expressions of grief in death), nor will anyone cut himself or shave his head for them [in mourning]. 7 “People will not offer food to the mourners, to comfort anyone [as they grieve] for the dead, nor give them a cup of consolation to drink for anyone’s father or mother. 8 “And you [Jeremiah] shall not go into a house of feasting to sit with them to eat and drink.” 9 For thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, “Behold, I will remove from this place, before your very eyes and in your time, the sound of joy and the shout of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride. 10 “Now when you tell these people all these words and they ask you, ‘Why has the LORD decreed all this great tragedy against us? And what is our iniquity, what is the sin which we have committed against the LORD our God?’ 11 “Then you are to say to them, ‘It is because your fathers have abandoned (rejected) Me,’ says the LORD , ‘and have walked after other gods and have served them and bowed down to the handmade idols and have abandoned (rejected) Me and have not kept My law, 12 and because you have done worse [things] than your fathers. Just look, every one of you walks in the stubbornness of his own evil heart, so that you do not listen [obediently] to Me. 13 ‘Therefore I will hurl you out of this land [of Judah] into the land [of the Babylonians] which neither you nor your fathers have known, and there you will serve other gods day and night, for I will show you no compassion.’ God Will Restore Them 14 “Therefore behold, the days are coming,” says the LORD , “when it will no longer be said, ‘As the LORD lives, who brought up the sons of Israel out of the land of Egypt,’ 15 but, ‘As the LORD lives, who brought up the sons of Israel from the land of the north and from all the countries to which He had driven them.’ And I will bring them back to their land which I gave to their fathers.