Gratitude

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

Page 43 of 82 · 20 per page

• From Paul and Palestinian Judaism (40th Anniversary Edition) (2017)

  The section on Paul is writ- ten primarilyvisvis àà visvisthree positions: Bultmann and the Bultmann school, Schweitzer, and Davies. The first two were chosen because they are two major ways of under- PREFACE TO THE 1977 EDITION xxxiii standing Paul which are more or less polar opposites and the third because of the obvious significance of Davies’s position for the question of Paul and Judaism. Other scholarly views and contributions are discussed on indi- vidual points, but I have systematically tried to set my view of Paul over against (and sometimes in agreement with) the three positions mentioned. The transliteration of Hebrew is based on the simpli- fied system of theJewishJewish Encyclopedia,Encyclopedia,with only one or two minor alterations (e.g.qqinstead ofḳḳfor ק). The vow- els in particular are not scientifically transliterated (thus eerepresentsseghol,seghol, tsertserẹẹand vocalshevsheva).a).In transliterating I have had in mind producing terms which can be con- veniently read by the reader who may not know Hebrew, or who may know it only slightly. I do not think that any of the transliterations will mislead those who do know Hebrew, any more than Schechter’s transliteration as זְכוּתof ZachuthZachuthhas prevented people from knowing what he was writing about. Worse, from the point of view of some, than the use of a simplified translitera- tion system will be the appearance of more than one sys- tem. When quoting others, I have naturally kept their transliterations. For Rabbinic names and for the titles of the Mishnaic and Talmudic tractates I have used Danby’s transliterations as being most familiar to English readers, and for the Mekilta tractates I have followed Lauterbach. The research for and writing of this book have been supported by generous grants, and I am glad to be able to acknowledge my indebtedness and gratitude to the granting institutions and agencies: to McMaster Univer- sity for a series of summer grants which supported the research during its early stages; to the Canada Council for a Post-Doctoral Fellowship which provided a year’s study in Jerusalem; to the American Council of Learned Societies for a Leave Fellowship; and to the Killam Pro- PAUL AND PALESTINIAN JUDAISM xxxiv gram of the Canada Council for a Senior Research Scholarship which not only provided the time to com- plete the study but also provided funds for secretarial help and research assistance, travel to discuss drafts of the various sections with other scholars, visits to other libraries, and all the miscellaneous expenses which are incurred in the production of a manuscript. Without this support the manuscript would still be a bundle of notes and drafts. As grateful as I am for financial support, I am even more grateful to the scholars who have read and dis- cussed the manuscript with me.

• From Girls & Sex (2016)

  For their assistance with research, I would like to thank Kaela Elias, Sara Birnel-Henderson, Pearl Xu, Evelyn Wang, Henry Bergman, and Sarah Caduto. For acting as sounding boards (and sometimes contending with some very personal questions), thanks to my nieces and nephews, especially Julie Ann Orenstein, Lucy Orenstein, Arielle Orenstein, Harry Orenstein, Matthew Orenstein, and Shirley Kawafuchi. For their guidance, I thank my agent, Suzanne Gluck, my ever-patient editor, Jennifer Barth, as well as Debby Herbenick, Leslie Bell, Patti Wolter, Lucia O’Sullivan, Lisa Wade, Jack Halberstam, Jackie Krasas, Paul Wright, and Bryant Paul. For the luxury of space and time to write uninterrupted, I am profoundly grateful to Peter Barnes and the Mesa Refuge, as well as to the Cindy-licious Ucross Foundation. Greg Knowles deserves a special place in heaven for rescuing my manuscript when it disappeared into the technological ether. And while looks aren’t everything, I sure appreciate what Michael Todd did with mine. Thanks, too, to the staff of The California Sunday Magazine and especially Doug McGray for your support and understanding. Special thanks to Charis Denison for all that my reporting put her through. Most of all, thank you to the generous young women who participated in my interviews and the adults who helped me find them. To protect their privacy, I can’t name them here, but you know who you are. It was a pleasure to get to know each and every one of you, and there is no way I could have written this book without you. Finally, thank you to my family, both extended and immediate. To my husband, Steven Okazaki, so much more love than I could ever express; and to my beloved daughter, Daisy, I hope I haven’t embarrassed you too much. I love you boundlessly and wish you the gift of ever and always being fully yourself. NotesThe pagination of this electronic edition does not match the edition from which it was made. To locate a specific passage, please use the search feature on your e-book reader. Introduction: Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Girls and Sex (but Really Need to Ask) 3 The average American has first intercourse: Finer and Philbin, “Sexual Initiation, Contraceptive Use, and Pregnancy Among Young Adolescents.” 5 Teen intimacy, it said, ought to be: Haffner, ed., Facing Facts: Sexual Health for America’s Adolescents . 5 Sara McClelland, a professor of psychology: McClelland, “Intimate Justice.” Chapter 1: Matilda Oh Is Not an Object—Except When She Wants to Be 12 “If they aren’t,” Moran wrote, “chances are”: Moran, How to Be a Woman, p. 283. 12 Preschoolers worship Disney princesses: Glenn Boozan, “11 Disney Princesses Whose Eyes Are Literally Bigger Than Their Stomachs,” Above Average, June 22, 2015.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  Again, in the relentless struggle of the papacy with princes and kings, they were always to be relied upon. Here they did valiant service for the papacy, as notably in the struggle against the emperor, Frederick II., when they sowed sedition and organized revolt in Germany and other parts of his empire. Once more, as agents to fill the papal treasury, they did efficient and welcome service to the Holy See. In this interest they were active all over Europe. The pages of English chroniclers are filled with protests against them on the score of their exactions from the people.587 The pope treated the orders well, and in turn was well served by them. They received high favors, and they had the rare grace of showing gratitude. The orders of this period may be grouped in five main families: the family which followed the Benedictine rule, the family which followed the so-called Augustinian rule, the Carmelites, the hermit orders of which the Carthusians were the chief, and the original mendicant orders,588 the Franciscans and Dominicans. § 63. The Monks of Cluny. Literature.—See Lit. vol. IV, pp. 367 and 861; Mabillon: Ann. ord. S. Bened., III.-V., Paris, 1706–1708; Statuta Cluniacensia, Migne, 189, 1023–47.— Bernard et Bruel: Recueil des chartes de l’abbaye de Cluni, to 1300, 6 vols. Paris, 1876–93; Consuetudines monasticae, vol. I.; Consuet. Farfenses, ed. by Albers, Stuttgart, 1900. The consuetudines are statutes and customs which convents adopted supplementary to the Rules of their orders. These of Farfa, a convent in Italy, were taken down from Odilo of Cluny and enforced at Farfa. The Lives of St. Bernard.—C. A. Wilkens: Petrus der Ehrwürdige, Leipzig, 1857, 277 pp.—M. Kerker; Wilhelm der Selige, Abt zu Hirschau, Tübingen, 1863.—Witten: Der Selige Wilhelm, Abt von Hirschau, Bonn, 1890.—Champly: Hist. de l’abbaye de Cluny, Mâcon, 1866.—L’Huillier: Vie de Hugo, Solesmes, 1887.—K. Sackur: Die Cluniacenser bis zur Mitte des 11ten Jahrhunderts, 2 vols. Halle, 1892–94.—H. Kutter: Wilhelm von St. Thierry, ein Representant der mittelalterlichen Frömmigkeit, Giessen, 1898.—Maitland: The Dark Ages, 1890, pp. 350–491.—Hauck, vol. III.—Art. Hirschau, in Herzog, VIII. 138 sqq. The convent of Cluny,589 located twelve miles northwest of Mâcon, France, stood at the height of its influence in the eleventh and twelfth centuries. Founded in 910 by Duke William of Aquitaine, and directed by a succession of wise abbots, it gained an eminence, second only to that of Monte Cassino among the monasteries of the West, and became the nursery of a monastic revival which spread over Europe from the Adriatic to Scotland. No religious locality in the Latin church enjoyed a purer fame than Cluny. Four of its abbots, Odo, Majolus, Odilo, and Hugh, attained the dignity of canonized saints. Three popes were among its monks, Gregory VII.,590 Urban II. , and Pascal II., and the antipope Anacletus II. Gelasius II., driven from Rome, 1118, took refuge within its walls and died there lying on ashes and there was buried. The cardinals who elected Calixtus II., his successor, met at Cluny.

• From Every Woman's Battle: Discovering God's Plan for Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment (2003)

  Some women enjoy sitting in a comfy chair to meditate or for their quiet time with the Lord. Not me. I either get distracted thinking about all the things I should be doing or I get sleepy. I enjoy walking and talking with the Lord. I usually drop my children off at school and then drive to one of the many secluded country roads where I have a four-mile stretch measured off in my mind. I start by stretching and taking deep breaths, thanking God that He’s given me another day to be alive and fully functioning. Drinking in the beauty of the towering trees, inhaling the aroma of wildflowers, feeling the breeze caress my face, I commune with God outdoors during my walk in a way I never could otherwise. As I walk, I talk to Him about five things: • Adoration (telling Him all the wonderful things I love about Him, such as how His mercies are new every morning, His incomparable strength, His compassionate character, and so on) • Confession (acknowledging the many ways I miss the mark and asking Him to reveal anything I’ve done or attitude that I’ve had that has caused Him to grieve) • Thanksgiving (expressing my gratitude for the multitude of blessings in my life) • Supplication (asking for a special blessing or His divine guidance in certain matters) • Others (intercession for family and friends, women God has called me to serve, coworkers, and anyone else God brings to mind) You might wonder, “How do you remember all that?” With the acronym ACTSO—Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication, and Others—I ACT by praying SO that I can feel connected to God. And His response is sometimes audible, not to my ears, but to my heart. As I confess, I often sense Him comforting me, saying, “It’s okay. I’m not going to let that come between us.” As I ask Him for guidance, He usually steers my mind toward a solution I hadn’t thought of before. As I pray for others, He regularly prompts me to do or say something specifically for their benefit. This response time is a vital part of my prayer life. He already knows what is on my heart without my saying a word. I need to make time to listen to what is on His heart because without listening I’ll never have a clue. God often reminds me of this as I am walking and rambling on and on. Sometimes by the time I reach the two-or three-mile mark on my four-mile hike, I’ll sense God saying, “Remember to leave Me some time. I’ve got a lot I want to say to you today.” Does this make me feel special that the God of the universe wants time to talk specifically with me each day? You bet. And He wants to talk with you each day as well. Is there a spot in your Day-Timer when you can give Him a standing (or walking) appointment?

• From The Decameron (1353)

  A year or two agone there was at Barletta a priest called Dom Gianni di Barolo, who, for that he had but a poor cure, took to eking out his livelihood by hawking merchandise hither and thither about the fairs of Apulia with a mare of his and buying and selling. In the course of his travels he contracted a strait friendship with one who styled himself Pietro da Tresanti and plied the same trade with the aid of an ass he had. In token of friendship and affection, he called him still Gossip Pietro, after the Apulian fashion, and whenassoever he visited Barletta, he carried him to his parsonage and there lodged him with himself and entertained him to the best of his power. Gossip Pietro, on his part, albeit he was very poor and had but a sorry little house at Tresanti, scarce sufficing for himself and a young and buxom wife he had and his ass, as often as Dom Gianni came to Tresanti, carried him home with him and entertained him as best he might, in requital of the hospitality received from him at Barletta. Nevertheless, in the matter of lodging, having but one sorry little bed, in which he slept with his handsome wife, he could not entertain him as he would, but, Dom Gianni's mare being lodged with Pietro's ass in a little stable he had, needs must the priest himself lie by her side on a truss of straw. The goodwife, knowing the hospitality which the latter did her husband at Barletta, would more than once, whenas the priest came thither, have gone to lie with a neighbor of hers, by name Zita Caraprese, [daughter] of Giudice Leo, so he might sleep in the bed with her husband, and had many a time proposed it to Dom Gianni, but he would never hear of it; and once, amongst other times, he said to her, 'Gossip Gemmata, fret not thyself for me; I fare very well, for that, whenas it pleaseth me, I cause this mare of mine become a handsome wench and couch with her, and after, when I will, I change her into a mare again; wherefore I care not to part from her.'

• From Paul and Palestinian Judaism (40th Anniversary Edition) (2017)

  It thus becomes clear that, if R. Akiba meant that the fulfilment of only one mitsvah was enough to permit God to tip the scale to the side of innocence, he was saying what many other Rabbis also said. Although one hesitates before disagreeing with such scholars as Bacher and Schechter, this seems the best interpretation of what Akiba said. It is gratifying to be able to quote Finkelstein in support of this view: 'Sometimes [Akiba) asserted God's mercy to be such that a single meritorious act will win a man 59 Sifre Deut. 48 ( 107f.; to 11.22; cf. Friedmann, f.83b, where the text differs slightly) 60 On 'confessing' and 'denying', see especially Kadushin, The Rabbinic Mind, pp. 540-67. 61 H. Hubner ('Gal 3,10 und die Herkunft des Paulus', KuD 19, 1973, pp. 215-31) has recently discussed the requirement to do all the law and the statements about good deeds outweighing transgres- sion, and concluded that Paul was a Shammaite rather than a Hillelite. He argues first that, since Paul expected 100% obedience from proper Jews (Gal. 3.10), he could not have been a committed Hillelite, since, as everyone knows, most Pharisees believed in judgment by the majority of one's deeds. He regards this as one systematic theology, which he contrasts with the minority position, that one do all the law, which he attributes to the Shammaites. The latter position he finds in Sifra ~doshim pereq 8.3 (to 19.34): the proselyte, like the native, should accept all the words of the Torah. Since R. Eliezer, a Shammaite, argued in Yebamoth 46a that proselytes must be circumcised, Hubner concludes that the connection of circumcision with doing all the law (Gal. 3.10) reflects a Shammaite position. Hubner's article seems faulty on every point: 1. The point ofSifra ~doshim pereq 8.3 is that one should 'accept', i.e. 'agree to' in the sense of'confess' all the laws, not perform them flawlessly. 2. That one should accept all the Torah and not deny it was a completely standard Rabbinic view. There are no statements to the contrary (that one may accept it selectively!}, nor are there any statements parallel to Paul's statement that one must 'keep' all the laws as distinct from 'confessing' them, as we have just shown. The distinction found by Hubner does not exist. 3 The theory that one need be obedient only 51% of the time is not mainline Rabbinic soteriology, nor can 'weighing' statements be especially connected with the school of Hillel R. Akiba, presumably a Hillelite, said that one fulfilment was sufficient. Nor can the numerous exhortative statements about not transgressing a certain single commandment be connected with Sham- maites. This rebuttal of Hubner's argument is not intended to favour the view he argued against, that Paul was a Hillelite Oeremias).

• From Another Country (1962)

  “I don’t think it’s just a murder story,” he said, gesturing with the pipe. “I mean, I don’t see why you can’t do something fairly serious within the limits of the form. I’ve always been fascinated by it, really.” “You didn’t think much of them when you were teaching me English in high school,” said Vivaldo, with a smile. “Well, I was younger then than you are now. We change, boy, we grow——!” The waiter entered the room, looking as though he wondered where on earth he could be, and Richard called him. “Hey! We’re dying of thirst over here!” He turned to Cass. “You want another drink?” “Oh, yes,” she said, “now that our friends are here. I might as well make the most of my night out. Except I’m a kind of dreamy drunk. Do you mind my head on your shoulder?” “Mind?” He laughed. He looked at Vivaldo. “Mind! Why do you think I’ve been knocking myself out, trying to be a success?” He bent down and kissed her and something appeared in his boyish face, a single-mindedness of tenderness and passion, which made him very gallant. “You can put your head on my shoulder anytime. Anytime, baby. That’s what my shoulders are for.” And he stroked her hair again, proudly, as the waiter vanished with the empty glasses. Vivaldo turned to Richard. “When can I read your book? I’m jealous. I want to find out if I should be.” “Well, if you take that tone, you bastard, you can buy it at the bookstore when it comes out.” “Or borrow it from the library,” Cass suggested. “No, really, when can I read it? Tonight? Tomorrow? How long is it?” “It’s over three hundred pages,” Richard said. “Come by tomorrow, you can look at it then.” He said to Cass, “It’s one way of getting him to the house.” Then: “You really don’t come to see us like you used to—is anything the matter? Because we still love you.” “No, nothing’s the matter,” Vivaldo said. He hesitated. “I had this thing with Jane and then we broke up—and—oh, I don’t know. Work wasn’t going well, and”—he looked at Rufus—“all kinds of things. I was drinking too much and running around whoring when I should have been—being serious, like you, and getting my novel finished.” “How’s it coming—your novel?” “Oh”—he looked down and sipped his drink—“slow. I’m really not a very good writer.” “Bullshit,” said Richard, cheerfully. He almost looked again like the English instructor Vivaldo had idolized, who had been the first person to tell him things he needed to hear, the first person to take Vivaldo seriously. “I’m very glad,” Vivaldo said, “seriously, very glad that you got the damn thing done and that it worked so well. And I hope you make a fortune.”

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  These are the only fellow workers for the kingdom of God who are from the circumcision (Jewish Christians), and they have proved to be an encouragement and a comfort to me. 12 Epaphras, who is one of you and a bond-servant of Christ Jesus, sends you greetings. [He is] always striving for you in his prayers, praying with genuine concern, [pleading] that you may [as people of character and courage] stand firm, [spiritually mature] and fully assured in all the will of God. 13 For I testify for him that he has worked strenuously for you and for the believers in Laodicea and those in Hierapolis. 14 Luke, the beloved physician, and Demas greet you. 15 Give my greetings to the c brothers and sisters at Laodicea, and to Nympha and the church that meets in her house. 16 When this letter has been read among you, see that it is read in the church of the Laodiceans; and also that you in turn read d my letter [that is coming to you] from Laodicea. 17 And say to Archippus, “See to it that you fulfill [carefully the duties of] the ministry which you have received in the Lord.” 18 I, Paul, write this greeting with my own hand. Remember my chains. May grace (God’s unmerited favor and blessing) be with you. Colossians 1 a 1:2 Every born-again believer (saint) has been reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, made holy and set apart for God’s purpose. b 1:2 Lit brethren . c 1:4 The key to understanding this and other statements about love is to know that this love (the Greek word agape ) is not so much a matter of emotion as it is of doing things for the benefit of another person, that is, having an unselfish concern for another and a willingness to seek the best for another. d 1:16 Or in . e 1:18 This refers to the entire body of born-again believers (whether past, present, or future), not a local congregation. f 1:18 Christ is the first to be resurrected with an incorruptible, immortal body. Others who were raised had to die again. g 1:22 Lit body of flesh . h 1:23 Paul may be referring to the fact that the created world displays proof of the existence of an omnipotent, benevolent God (cf Rom 1:20 ), without whom there would be no possibility of salvation. Such a God is the foundation of the “good news.” i 1:24 I.e. since the church is Christ’s body, figuratively speaking, whatever the church suffers can be considered additional sufferings by Christ Himself, and all such suffering was ordained and destined by God; what is left to suffer in God’s plan is what is “lacking of Christ’s afflictions.” Paul, as a member of the church, was destined to suffer through persecution etc., thereby taking his share of the church body’s divinely-ordained suffering. j 1:26 I.e. that believing Gentiles would be united with believing Jews into one body of believers.

• From Paul and Palestinian Judaism (40th Anniversary Edition) (2017)

  The book has on the whole been treated generously by reviewers and others who have dealt with it in their own publications. Many scholars, too numerous to name here, have paid the author the greatest compliment which a PREFACE TO THE 1977 EDITION xxxvii scholar can expect, that of discussing his work seriously and searchingly. I have appreciated the praise and, I hope, learned from the criticisms. Since the book first appeared there have been a few substantial exchanges with other scholars, both on Rab- binics and on Paul, and it may be helpful to refer to them here. There is an exchange between Jacob Neusner and me on the methodology of using Rabbinic material in AApprpproachesoaches toto AncientAncient JudaismJudaismII, ed. W. S. Green, Scholars Press for Brown Judaic Studies 1980, pp. 43-80. H. Hüb- ner has devoted an article (‘Pauli Theologiae Proprium’ NTSNTS26, 1980, pp. 445-73) to a defence of ‘justification by faith’ as the centre of Paul’s theology; and W. D. Davies has responded to my work, particularly as it relates to his own understanding of the relationship between Paul and Judaism, in the new edition ofPaulPaul andand RabbinicRabbinic JudaismJudaism (Fortress Press, 1980). I have replied to the most impor- tant points in ‘Paul and the Law: Different Questions, Different Answers’, which was presented at the annual meeting of Studiorum Novi Testamenti Societas in 1980. The article is scheduled to appear within the coming year, together with another, inPaul,Paul, thethe LawLaw andand thethe JewishJewish PPeople.eople.

• From How to Deal with Angry People (2023)

  people over social media, especially through TikTok and Instagram. I had no idea when I joined those platforms how rewarding it would be. While I love that there are so many people who are interested in my work, what I love even more is how much I’ve learned form them. Their stories and ideas have inspired me and this book has benefited so very much from their willingness to share their thoughts and experiences with me. I am as always indebted to me to the wonderful team at Watkins Publishing, especially my editor Fiona Robertson, who has been so supportive as I wrote this book (and was patient with me when it took longer than I had hoped), and my publicist Laura Whitaker-Jones, who is a constant source of positivity and good ideas. I so appreciate their work along with everyone else at Watkins who helped make this a reality. Finally, like so much of my work, I owe the great many scholars who study anger and other related topics. Their steadfast efforts to better understand these important human experiences is critical to helping people have healthier emotional lives. They are owed a significant debt of gratitude not just from me, but from everyone who seeks emotional wellness.

• From Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty (1999)

  Stan Sclaroff, Raffaella Rumiati, Claudio Luzzatti, Danielle Barry, Mark Halman, Trevor Darrell, Michael Jordan, Jamie Hamilton, Cindy Bogatka, Kathleen Peets, Lauren Cooper, William Green, Rhya Fisher, Janet Cahn, and Philip Greenspun sustained me with their friendship, advice, affection, confidence, and perhaps most of all, with their sense of humor. John Magee was my ingenious partner in research at MIT, and has been there for me in all the important ways. Kevin Oregan and I had wonderful talks about fashion, and model Hoyt Richards and speech therapist Sam Chwat graciously answered my many questions during interviews. Geoffrey Cowley’s astute questions helped me to sharpen my ideas. My editor Betsy Lerner provided careful guidance, insight, and the title! I also thank Matt Ellis for his much valued assistance. Jeremy Taylor, Ian Penton-Voak, David Perrett, Robert Marsters, Robert Klein, Marsit Erb, and most of all Robert Gurbo helped me put together the extraordinary set of visual images for this book. Finally I thank Simson Garfinkel and Beth Rosenberg for loaning me their wonderful home in Martha’s Vineyard for three months of writing. I reserve a special thank you for John Brockman and Katinka Matson. This book would not have happened without their encouragement, their support, and their vision. I cannot thank my mother enough for all the love and support she has given me. My sister Linda has been my friend and confidante. Perhaps more than anyone, she understands how this book came to be. I thank her and Chuck for their encouragement, and for many discussions of art and beauty during their dazzling dinners. My dog Max sat witness to every word on these pages and was the perfect canine companion. I think often about my father, who would have enjoyed seeing this book, and who was its inspiration.

• From Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist's Memoir (2017)

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT MY LIFE IN GROUPS I have led a great many therapy groups over the decades—groups of psychiatric outpatients and inpatients; patients with cancer, bereaved spouses, alcoholics, and married couples; and medical students, psychiatric residents, and practicing therapists—but I have also been a member of many groups, even now, in my mid-eighties. The one that looms largest in my thoughts is a leaderless group of therapists that, for the past twenty-four years, has been meeting every two weeks for ninety minutes in one of the members’ offices. One of our fundamental ground rules is total confidentiality: what transpires in our group must stay in the group. So these paragraphs will be the first time I’ve disclosed anything about this group, and I write not only with the members’ permission but also with their encouragement: none of us wants this group to die. Not that we seek immortality, but we all want to encourage others to have the vital, enriching experience we have had. One paradox of life as a therapist is that we are never alone while working, and yet many of us experience deep isolation. We work without a team—without nurses, supervisors, colleagues, or assistants. Many of us ameliorate such loneliness by scheduling luncheons or coffee meetings with colleagues, or attending case discussions, or through seeking supervision or personal therapy, but for many of us, those remedies do not reach deep enough. I have found that meeting regularly in an intimate group of other therapists is restorative; the group offers comradeship, supervision, postgraduate learning, personal growth, and, occasionally, crisis intervention. I strongly encourage other therapists to create a group such as ours. Our particular assemblage was born one day, over twenty years ago, when Ivan G., a practicing psychiatrist whom I had met when he was a resident at Stanford, phoned to invite me to join a support group to meet regularly in a medical office building close to the Stanford Hospital. He listed the names of the other psychiatrists who had thus far agreed to join—I knew almost all of them, some of them very well, since I had taught them when they had been psychiatry residents. Joining such a group felt like a huge commitment: not only was it a ninety-minute meeting every other week, but it was also to be an ongoing group without a specified ending. So I knew when I accepted that it might be a long-term commitment, but none of us could have foreseen that we’d still be meeting twenty-two years later. In all these years, aside from a rare conflict with a major holiday, we have never canceled a meeting, and no one has ever missed a meeting for a trivial reason. I myself had never been a member of an ongoing group, even though I had often envied my group patients. I, too, longed to be a member of a therapeutic group, to have a circle of trusted confidants.

• From How to Deal with Angry People (2023)

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I am once again deeply indebted to family, friends, coworkers, and even some strangers who offered love, support, and insights as I worked on this book. As always, I owe much to my family. I have a brilliant, talented, funny, and kind partner in my wife, Tina. She has been exceedingly supportive as I have worked on this book and it is a far better final product thanks to her insights. Together, we have two wonderful children, Rhys and Tobin, who are a constant source of joy, humor, and inspiration. As I said in the dedication, they make every day better. My mom, Sandy, has been a constant inspiration to me and many others. Sadly, my father passed away just a few weeks before my last book came out so I wasn’t able to share that joy with him. I take comfort, though, in knowing that he would have been proud of me for both that book and this one. I have three incredible siblings, each of them with wonderful families of their own who I love dearly, and my wife’s family is similarly important to me. I owe them all a great deal of gratitude for their support of my work. I’m similarly blessed to be surrounded by amazing friends and coworkers, who inspire me with their talents, humor, and great ideas. I have been lucky enough to have many deep and meaningful friendships, including those from as far back as high school. Their support means the world to me. I also work with amazing people at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay. Day in and day out I am surrounded by talented teachers, brilliant scholars, and hard-working and skilled students. You simply can’t work in a place like this without benefiting from the wisdom of the people around you. I’m thankful for each and every one of them, and know that their influence has made this book a better work. Over the last few years, I’ve connected with hundreds of thousands of

• From Paul and Palestinian Judaism (40th Anniversary Edition) (2017)

  Becker, Das Heil Golles, p. 24. Apocrypha and Pseudepigrapha [III Although the harsh tone of the halakah seems to suppose that man's religious behaviour is entirely within his own power, God is constantly appealed to to prevent him from sinning. Thus in the introduction Moses prays to God that he will create in the Israelites an upright spirit and prevent their being governed by the spirit of Beliar, who will lead them from the paths of righteousness and into destruction (1.20). Abraham prays that he may be delivered 'from the hands of evil spirits' and that they may not be allowed to lead him astray (12.20), and he similarly prays to God to strengthen Jacob 'to do righteousness, and His will before Him' (22.10). The prayer continues to request that God will remove Jacob from the uncleanness and error of the Gentiles (22. 19), that he will preserve him from destruction and that he will keep him from the paths of error (22.23). It is not surprising that an author who so values the mercy and grace of God would emphasize the repentance of man. As in Ben Sirach, what we should now call repentance is turning away from sin and to God. Thus Abraham admonishes Isaac: Turn away from all their deeds and all their uncleanness, And observe the ordinance of the Most High God, And do His will and be upright in all things. (21.23) The author looks forward to a time when ... the children shall begin to study the laws, And to seek the commandments, And to return to the path of righteousness. (23.26) It is interesting to note what happens when the author's belief in repent- ance comes into conflict with his belief that there is no atonement for some transgressions. We have already noted that Reuben's continuing to live after having intercourse with his father's concubine, a crime for which there is no atonement, is explained by the fact that the law had not been fully revealed. The author's treatment of Judah, who had intercourse with his daughter-in-law, is interesting for the present question. And Judah acknowledged that the deed which he had done was evil ... and he acknowledged that he had transgressed and gone astray ... , and he began to lament and to supplicate before the Lord because of his transgression. And we told him in a dream that it was forgiven him because he supplicated earnestly, and lamented, and did not again commit it.

• From The Well of Loneliness (1928)

  hotel in the Rue St. Roch, and when Stephen and Puddle arrived one evening that June, feeling rather tired and dejected, they found their sitting-room bright with roses — roses for Puddle -and on the table two boxes of Turkish cigarettes for Stephen. Brockett, they learnt, had ordered these things by writing spe- cially from London. Barely had they been in Paris a week, when Jonathan Brock- ett turned up in person: “ Hallo, my dears, I’ve come over to see you. Everything all right? Are you being looked after?’ He sat down in the only comfortable chair and proceeded to make himself charming to Puddle. It seemed that his flat in Paris being let, he had tried to get rooms at their hotel but had failed, so had gone instead to the Meurice. ‘ But I’m not going to take you to lunch there,’ he told them, ‘ the weather’s too fine, we’ll go to Versailles. Stephen, ring up and order your car, there’s a darling! By the way, how is Burton getting on? Does he remem- ber to keep to the right and to pass on the left? ’ His voice sounded anxious. Stephen reassured him good-humouredly, she knew that he was apt to be nervous in motors. They lunched at the Hotel des Reservoirs, Brockett taking great pains to order special dishes. The waiters were zealous, they evidently knew him: ‘ Oui, monsieur, tout de suite — à instant, monsieur!’ Other clients were kept waiting while Brockett was served, and Stephen could see that this pleased him. All through the meal he talked about Paris with ardour, as a lover might talk of a mistress. ‘Stephen, I’m not going back for ages. I’m going to make you simply adore her. You'll see, P’ll make you adore her so much that you’ll find yourself writing like a heaven-born genius. 272 THE WELL OF LONELINESS There’s nothing so stimulating as love — you've got to have an affair with Paris!’ Then looking at Stephen rather intently, ‘ I suppose you’re capable of falling in love?’ She shrugged her shoulders, ignoring his question, but she thought: ‘ He’s putting his eye to the keyhole. His curiosity’s positively childish at times,’ for she saw that his face had fallen. ‘Oh, well, if you don’t want to tell me —’ he grumbled. ‘Don’t be silly! There’s nothing to tell,’ smiled Stephen. But she made a mental note to be careful. Brockett’s curiosity was always most dangerous when apparently merely childish. With quick tact he dropped the personal note. No good trying to force her to confide, he decided, she was too damn clever to give herself away, especially before the watchful old Puddle. He sent for the bill and when it arrived, went over it item by item, frowning. ‘Maitre d’hotel! ’ ‘ Oui monsieur? ’

• From Paul and Palestinian Judaism (40th Anniversary Edition) (2017)

  In the first place, as we shall show in section 8 below, he shares a common misunderstanding of the phrase zekut 'abot. We may immediately note, however, that there are numerous passages in Rabbinic literature in which the Rabbis clearly identify themselves as the heirs of promises to the fathers, as continuing in the covenant established between God and Israel. A full examination of such terms as 'inherit' (yarash ), 'trust' (bafa&) and 'promise' (hib[ia&) would produce numerous examples, but we shall illustrate the point only briefly. For evidence of a relation between the fathers and subsequent generations which is conceived quite otherwise than in terms of a treasury of merits, we may refer to the comments on 'my God' and 'my father's God' in the Mekilta on Ex. 15.2: 'With me He dealt according to the rule of mercy, while with my fathers He dealt according to the rule of Justice.' 79 The community of Israel said before the Holy One, blessed be He: Not only for the miracles which Thou hast performed for me will I utter song and praise before Thee, but for the miracles which Thou hast performed for my fathers and for me and for that which Thou wilt do for me in every generation. In this sense it is said: 'My father's God, and I will exalt Him.' 80 77 Sifre Num. 84 (83; to 10.36). 78 Mek. Shirata 10 (149; II, 77; to 15.17). 79 Mek. Shirata 3 (128; II, 28; to 15.2). 80 Mek. Shira ta 3 ( 128f.; II, 29). 104 T annaitic Literature [I Similarly, one might cite the comment on an earlier phrase in Ex. 15.2, 'and he has become my salvation'. The two possibilities for pointing the verb ,.,.., lead to the comment that the passage means both 'He was and He is. He was my salvation in the past and He will be my salvation in the future.' 81 Even when the verb hib[ia~ is used in the perfect ( = past tense in Rab- binic Hebrew), it does not necessarily mean that a promise was fulfilled in the past and is no longer valid. Commenting on Deut. 32.6, 'he made you and established you', R. Simeon b. Judah remarked: 'He settled you upon your foundation, he fed you with the plunder of the seven [Gentile] nations, and he gave you what he swore to you and caused you to inherit what he promised you.

• From Henry Miller on Writing (1964)

  Remember that? So, too, when I hear the word Genius. I never felt I had genius, even if I boasted about it in my writings. I always feel that I am “just a Brooklyn boy.” (And here I urge you to read again Emil Schnellock’s and Knut Merrild’s contributions to The Happy Rock .) They came very close to sizing me up; they had that human approach which you so rightly stress. But to return for one moment to the master-disciple business. Each of us is both at once, is he not? Even Jesus and Buddha were disciples—of whom or what we do not know. The only master is life. To be just a master is to be static, dead. As long as we are alive we are growing, stretching out our hands towards God … any God. And God is reaching down to us. No end, no conclusion, no completion. Perpetual becoming. And so pertinent to all the foregoing is what you say about spirit and flesh. They are one, of course. And suddenly I saw myself as the “earnest young man,” the youth with a book under his arm, wherever he went. And how is it all the critics, and even my good friends sometimes, forget what I have told about so often—my efforts to find a God, a religion, a belief, a way of life. At a very early age too. New Thought, Ethical Culture, Theosophy, the Bahai movement … what didn’t I look into? And that evangelist, Benjamin Fay Mills, whom Bob Challacombe introduced me to! How much I owe that man! How much I still revere him! Don’t you know that story of how I heard him lecture and, moved to the guts, I went down to speak to him (from the gallery) and I said, as only an “innocent” could: “Dear Sir, I believe that I am one who should hear your (private) lectures. I know what you are thinking about. Couldn’t you let me do something for you to pay for those lectures?” (It cost about a hundred dollars for the series.) And I shall never forget the look he gave me, a long, down-slanting look with piercing gimlet eyes, like those of a mage or an old witch. And after reading my very soul, it seemed, he said, breaking into a smile: “Of course you are the man! Certainly you shall hear the lectures.” And then he suggested that I pay for them by passing the salver around (for money) after his public lectures. Which I did. (Can you picture me doing that?) There’s another point in your letter which interests me—that of the seemingly perpetual décalage between the writer and his work, the man and his product.

• From Every Woman's Battle: Discovering God's Plan for Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment (2003)

  To Mom and Pop—oh, how I appreciate your discipline, patience, and prayers. I was very lucky to have you as parents, more lucky now to have you as friends. To Jay and Wanda—thank you for loving me like a daughter and for raising such a great son. What a joy to have parents and parents-in-law who are so supportive. Thank you to all my “other mothers” in the Little Flock Sunday-school class for praying me through the peaks and valleys in life. What an example you have set for me. To my accountability friends who helped me see the Light when I was blinded by Satan’s schemes. Lisa, whoever said blood is thicker than water didn’t know about the fierce friendship that we share! I love you so much. To Ron and Katie Luce, David Hasz, and all my colaborers in Christ at Teen Mania Ministries. Your encouragement, inspiration, and trust is so much of what God used to keep me pressing on with this manuscript and ministry. It is an honor and a privilege to work with you to raise up a generation of Worldchangers! To Kym Blackstock and Tracy Kartes, you came alongside me at such a vital time in this writing process, and I am grateful for your assistance. To Jack Hill, Dean Sherman, and all of our friends at Mercy Ships International, with sincere appreciation for the wisdom gleaned and the hope and healing you allow us to spread to women in other parts of the world. To my phenomenal mentors, Jerry Speight and Susan Duke—you have been wind underneath my wings! Jerry, you have encouraged me to pursue avenues that I never dreamed of walking down. Thank you for inspiring me to become all God intended. And Susan, my “hen with a pen” friend—thank you for adopting this baby chick and giving me “eggstra” courage to press on! Special thanks to all those who came alongside me to get this project into the hands of many other women. Linda Glasford and Greg Johnson, thank you for catching this vision and taking a chance on me. All of the pink roses and seashells in the world wouldn’t express the magnitude of my appreciation. Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, thank you for sharing my passion for starting a new kind of revolution! What a privilege to be invited to come alongside you in this movement. Finally, to my incredible editor, Liz Heaney, and to all the wonderful folks at WaterBrook Press, a sincere thank you for your patience and professionalism in helping me develop this manuscript into something that I pray will be instrumental in changing many lives. introduction One day my husband, Greg, brought home the book Every Man’s Battle, tossed it at me, and with a straight face said, “I think you ought to write Every Woman’s Battle.”

• From Paul and Palestinian Judaism (40th Anniversary Edition) (2017)

  In the context of these statements to the effect that man's perfection of way comes only by the grace of God, we should also note the general confes- sions that man is saved by the grace of God. In the present, this is understood as involving not just the establishment of one's way, but the forgiveness and cleansing of sin: by his mercies (ra~amekah) and graciousness (~asadekah) God has strengthened man in adversity and purified him of sins (IQH 1.31-3); God has cleansed a 'perverse spirit' (3.21); one may rely on God's grace and mercies, for he will pardon iniquity (4.37); all the sons of God's truth are brought before him in forgiveness, that he may cleanse them of their sins through hiS goodness ( 7. 30); for the sake of his glory God has purified man of sin ( 11. 1 o); God purifies the psalmist by his holy spirit and draws him near by his (or, in his) good will (16.12). We should quote at length on this point IQH 11.29-32: 150 Vennes: 'except through'. On the translation of the preposition, seen. 220 below. 5] Fulfilment and transgression Blessed art Thou, 0 God of mercy and compassion (ra&amim and &aninah ), for the might of Thy [power] and the greatness of Thy truth, and for the multitude of Thy favours (4asadim) in all Thy works! Rejoice the soul of Thy servant with Thy truth and cleanse me by Thy righteousness (tsedaqah). Even as I have hoped in Thy goodness ({ob), and waited for Thy grace (4asadim), so hast Thou freed me from my calamities in accordance with Thy forgiveness (seli&ot); and in my distress Thou hast comforted me for I have leaned on Thy mercy (ra&amim). Further, the psalmist could look forward to the time when God would establish his people by his grace: Thou wilt raise up survivors among Thy people and a remnant within Thine inheritance. Thou wilt purify and cleanse them of their sin for all their deeds are in Thy truth. Thou wilt judge them in Thy great lovingkindness (4asadim) and in the multitude of Thy mercies (ra&amim) and in the abundance of Thy pardon (seli&ah), teaching them according to Thy word; and Thou wilt establish them in Thy Council according to the uprightness of Thy truth. (IQH 6.8-10) At first there may appear to be a significant distinction between the legal- istic works-righteousness of IQS 1-9, in which 'perfection of way' is required for membership in the community, and the theology of salvation by grace in the hymns (IQH and IQS 10-11). 151 Although these are certainly the emphases of the respective books, the distinction is not clear cut, and it seems incorrect to think that the theologies are actually different. Thus in IQH the themes of perfection and legal righteousness are not absent.

• From Every Woman's Battle: Discovering God's Plan for Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment (2003)

  In my mind’s eye I saw a vision of a mama bird leaving two little baby birds in the nest. Then I realized I hadn’t given as much thought to what this new endeavor would mean to my four-year-old daughter and one-year-old son. I began praying for my daughter and son and asking God to show me why I felt such a heavy burden about such a huge financial blessing. Then I sensed God asking, “Do you trust me enough to lay these scholarships on the altar? Will you sacrifice them for the sake of my will for your family?” Whoa. I loved my family, but the thought of giving up over fifty thousand dollars of free tuition seemed almost idiotic. However, by the time I left to go home, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is exactly what God wanted me to do. As I walked through the door of my home, I hugged my children tightly and looked at my husband with tears in my eyes. “I’m giving up the scholarships,” I said. “I’m not going back to school until the kids are much older. If God provided the money once, He can provide it again when the time is right. I know it’s a shock, but I have a real peace that this is what God wants me to do.” “Then why are you crying?” Greg asked. I responded, “Because I am so thankful to have these baby birds in our nest and God to guide me in raising them!” Of course I had to explain that one to my husband, but I’ve never regretted that decision. I knew it was God’s will even if it wasn’t my own at the time. I knew the peace I felt about it was a gift from Him worth far more than any scholarship. And I knew that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose—even for moms without a master’s degree.