Fear

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From The History of Christianity II: From the Reformation to the Modern Megachurch (2017)

  Kim Il-Sung, the North invaded the South in 1950 and started the Korean War. The war ended with an armistice in 1953, not a treaty—so technically the north and south are still at war. õ As is the case with most communist regimes, Kim Il-Sung’s government did not technically ban all Christian worship. But Kim forced all church officials to join a new body called the Korean Christian Federation. If you didn’t join, then you were arrested. A lot of Christians fled south while they could, but those who didn’t escape and who didn’t fall into line were murdered. õ In the 1980s, North Korea adopted a new outward policy on religion that appeared slightly more tolerant: The government built one Catholic church and two Protestant churches, staffed with government-approved priests. The regime also claims to allow about 500 so-called house churches whose members are forced to live in housing units separate from the rest of the population, so they don’t spread the “virus” of Christianity. õ The state religion of North Korea is the worship of the Kim dynasty, folded into the North Korean ideology of juche, or “self-reliance,” which requires total loyalty of all subjects. Three years after Kim Il- Sung’s death, the government changed the calendar to start with the year of his birth. He is still officially the head of state, even though he died in 1994—to North Koreans, that was the end of his earthly life, but his political life is immortal. SOUTH KOREA õ The communists in the north drove many evangelical refugees south, where they became zealous church builders. Christianity became all the more important to them as a way of demarcating the difference between North and South Korea. Lecture 35—Revival and Repression in Korea 347

• From In an Unspoken Voice (2010)

  You duck, dodge and retract; you twist and raise your arms to protect against a mortal blow. And most well known, you flee from potential predators or fight them when you perceive that you are stronger than your adversary, or if you have become trapped by them. In addition to the well-known fight and flight reactions, there is a third, lesser-known reaction to threat: immobilization. Ethologists call this “default” state of paralysis tonic immobility (TI). It’s one of the three primary instinctual responses available to reptiles and mammals when faced with threat from predation. It occurs when active responses are not likely to be effective in escaping or removing the source of threat (as by fighting). The familiarity of the other two, fight or flight, is due largely to the overarching and extended influence of Walter B. Cannon’s eminent work carried out in the 1920s on the sympathetic–adrenal nervous system. 19 Far less appreciated, though, are the profound implications of the human immobility response in the formation and treatment of trauma. 20 Taking into account the more than seventy-five years of ethological and physiological research since Cannon’s discovery, fight-or-flight could be updated with the acronym “the A, and four Fs”: Arrest (increased vigilance, scanning), Flight (try first to escape), Fight (if the animal or person is prevented from escaping), Freeze (fright—scared stiff) and Fold (collapse into helplessness). In two sentences: Trauma occurs when we are intensely frightened and are either physically restrained or perceive that we are trapped. We freeze in paralysis and/or collapse in overwhelming helplessness. Note: Although some recent authors tend to call the initial arrest response “freezing,” I will avoid possible confusion by using the term “freezing” only to describe behaviors involving tonic immobility. ‖ In freezing, your muscles stiffen against a mortal blow, and you feel “scared stiff.” On the other hand, when you experience death as being unequivocally imminent (as when bared fangs are ready to annihilate you), your muscles collapse as though they have lost all their energy. In this “default” reaction (when it has become chronic, as it does in trauma), you feel that you are in a state of helpless resignation and lack the energy to fuel your life and move forward. This collapse, defeat and loss of the will to live are at the very core of deep trauma. Being “scared stiff” or “frozen in fear”—or, alternatively, collapsing and going numb—accurately describes the physical, visceral, bodily experience of intense fear and trauma. Since the body enacts all of these survival options, it is the body’s narration that therapists must address in order to understand these reactions and to mobilize them in transforming trauma. It may help therapists (and their clients) to know that immobility appears to serve at least four important survival functions in mammals. First, it is a last-ditch survival strategy, colloquially known as “playing opossum.”

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  I answer that, As stated above [1395](A[1]), fear may be set down to a twofold cause: one is by way of a material disposition, on the part of him that fears; the other is by way of efficient cause, on the part of the person feared. As to the first then, some defect is, of itself, the cause of fear: for it is owing to some lack of power that one is unable easily to repulse a threatening evil. And yet, in order to cause fear, this defect must be according to a measure. For the defect which causes fear of a future evil, is less than the defect caused by evil present, which is the object of sorrow. And still greater would be the defect, if perception of the evil, or love of the good whose contrary is feared, were entirely absent. But as to the second, power and strength are, of themselves, the cause of fear: because it is owing to the fact that the cause apprehended as harmful is powerful, that its effect cannot be repulsed. It may happen, however, in this respect, that some defect causes fear accidentally, in so far as owing to some defect someone wishes to hurt another; for instance, by reason of injustice, either because that other has already done him a harm, or because he fears to be harmed by him. Reply to Objection 1: This argument is true of the cause of fear, on the part of the efficient cause. Reply to Objection 2: Those who are already being executed, are actually suffering from a present evil; wherefore their defect exceeds the measure of fear. Reply to Objection 3: Those who contend with one another are afraid, not on account of the power which enables them to contend: but on account of the lack of power, owing to which they are not confident of victory. OF THE EFFECTS OF FEAR (FOUR ARTICLES)We must now consider the effects of fear: under which head there are four points of inquiry: (1) Whether fear causes contraction? (2) Whether it makes men suitable for counsel? (3) Whether it makes one tremble? (4) Whether it hinders action? Whether fear causes contraction?Objection 1: It would seem that fear does not cause contraction. For when contraction takes place, the heat and vital spirits are withdrawn inwardly. But accumulation of heat and vital spirits in the interior parts of the body, dilates the heart unto endeavors of daring, as may be seen in those who are angered: while the contrary happens in those who are afraid. Therefore fear does not cause contraction. Objection 2: Further, when, as a result of contraction, the vital spirits and heat are accumulated in the interior parts, man cries out, as may be seen in those who are in pain. But those who fear utter nothing: on the contrary they lose their speech. Therefore fear does not cause contraction.

• From Stone Butch Blues (1993)

  “It’s bullshit,” I told them both. When they went back to yelling at the scabs and the cops, I stood next to Duffy. “What’s up?” he asked. I shrugged. “Are you a communist?” I was hoping he’d laugh, or at least look startled, but instead he had a sad look in his eyes. “Do we need to talk about it now?” he asked. “T told them it was bullshit,” I said. “It is bullshit, isn’t it?” “Can we talk about it later?” he asked me again. I nodded, but I wished we could have worked it out right there. I just wanted to hear him say it wasn’t true. The cops suddenly put on their riot helmets and took out their clubs. We all tensed and gathered in front of the barricades. They were ready to bring the scabs in past us. We roared so loud that people from the nearby projects came out to watch. We rattled the barricades to remind the cops and scabs how frail the wood was, and held up our signs, loosely stapled to two-by-fours. As the scabs moved closer, one of them pulled out a blackjack and hit Frankie’s fingers which were resting on the barricade. Jan got so mad when she saw that happen she cracked the scab over the head with Stone Butch Blues 105 her picket sign. The cops grabbed Jan and pulled her right over the barricades. They threw her up against the police van and roughed her up. Three strikers tried to jump the barricades to help Jan, but the cops nabbed them and handcuffed them. All four were thrown into the back of the police van. “Duffy,” I yelled, over the confusion. “Duffy, we got to get her out of there. Help her!” Duffy worked his way through the crowd. “Jess, we got four union people in the van.” “Duffy, you don’t understand. Think about it. It’s different for her to get busted. Please listen.” I didn’t have time to explain. Duffy took my arm and looked into my face for the answer. I let him see the fear and the shame in a way I’d never voluntarily let a man see before. Duffy nodded. He understood. Duffy pushed his way to the barricade, lifted his work boot, and kicked it over. “C’mon,” he signaled the strikers. The cops were caught off-guard as we surged past them. There were skirmishes, but most of us made it to the police wagon and surrounded it. People from the projects formed an outer circle around us. “Let them go,” we rocked the van. “Let them go! Let them go!” An ashen-faced cop wearing gold bars whispered to the officers nearby. We closed in around 106 = Leslie Feinberg them. Quickly they opened the van. Four sets of handcuffs were unlocked. Just as fast as they'd been busted, the four were free.

• From Stone Butch Blues (1993)

  Restlessness drew me to Far Rockaway beach on a cold December morning. As I walked along the shore I thought about how fear and silence had welded my jaw shut for more of my life than Pd realized. I wondered if silence had killed Rocco, and the anonymous butler, a little bit at a time, too. What would I say when I finally snipped the wires that held my jaws clamped? The lobster-shift foreman handed me the last check I needed two days before the Christmas weekend. In the morning Id go to the check-cashing office, flash my company card, and walk out with all the money I needed to buy the gift for Ruth. I snuck into the lunchroom without punching out and slipped between the two vending machines in the corner that formed my favorite hiding place at work, carefully leaning my head against the wall. The headaches were milder, but they still frightened me. I heard Marija and Karen, both typesetters, come into the lunchroom, laughing. “You got change?” Marija asked. I sat very still, afraid of being discovered. Marija’s hands always captured my attention. Some people drag their hands through life like heavy weights; others speak with their hands. But Marija’s hands were different. Although they communicated, they seemed to be carrying on an entirely separate conversation than the one she was verbally engaged in. When she talked with other typesetters, she laughed nervously and chewed her lip. But her hands were calm. While her words cut cruelly to the quick, her hands found the sore places on a co-worket’s Stone Butch Blues 289 shoulder or neck. I imagined feeling those remarkable hands stroking my head, caressing my neck. “T tell you it’s creepy,” Marija said, “the way he looks at me.” “Whor” Karen asked. Marija sighed. “That guy who never talks—Jesse. I’m telling you the way he stares at me creeps me out.” Karen laughed. “Maybe he’s got the hots for you.” “Yeech!” Marija said. “He looks at me like ’m a piece of meat or something.” “He’s harmless,” Karen chuckled. “You don’t know that,” Marija countered. “He could be a psycho.” Karen interrupted. “He’s so effeminate. He’s got to be gay.” I heard them leaving. “I’m telling you,” Marija concluded, “he’s the kind you gotta watch out for.” I could see Martja’s hand gently rest on the small of Karen’s back. I closed my eyes and waited until I was sure they were gone. Then I walked out of the shop knowing I would never return. When I got home I leaned the bathroom mirror up against the couch and found a pair of scissors and tweezers. I took a couple of long pulls of whiskey 290 = Leslie Feinberg

• From The History of Christianity II: From the Reformation to the Modern Megachurch (2017)

  248The History of Christianity II õIn 1905, Lenin published an essay describing religion as “spiritual booze” that taught people “to be submissive and patient while here on earth, and to take comfort in the hope of a heavenly reward.” But he called for religion to be treated as a “private affair,” and said people should be able to choose any religion, or none at all. õHowever, the Orthodox Church was an obvious rival to the Bolsheviks for the loyalties of the people. And the Bolsheviks took aim almost immediately. They didn’t officially ban the church, but they seized church property and rounded up any priest or bishop who didn’t profess total loyalty to the Russian Revolution—and even some who did. õSome clergy ended up in prison camps and mental hospitals—and those were the lucky ones. Others were tortured and executed as enemies of the revolution. In the 1920s, as the chaos in the provinces led to widespread famine, the Bolsheviks whipped up resentment against the church by charging that priests and bishops had refused to turn over their valuables to be sold to help feed the people. They capitalized on that long history of church privilege at the expense of ordinary believers. õAs for the dissenters who got a break after the 1905 law on religious toleration: The Bolsheviks put an end to that and turned out to be just as zealous in persecuting religious minorities as the tsars had ever been. Religious minorities f led where they could. RELIGION UNDER STALIN õIn 1929, five years after Lenin died and his successor Joseph Stalin took power, the government enacted the Law on Religious Associations, which set the rules for all religious worship, Orthodox or otherwise. õTo form a religious organization, a group of at least 20 adults had to come together and seek permission from the local magistrate to perform their “cult” in an approved building, and only in that space. No religious festivals, evangelizing, religious education, charity work, or anything else outside the registered building was allowed. 249Lecture 25—The Church and the Russian Revolution õMeanwhile, the Soviet government tried to lure believers away from traditional churches by establishing a rival organization called the Living Church. Clergy of this temple of propaganda preached that the Bolshevik program was essentially the fulfillment of Christianity. The message appealed to some Christian socialists, but the Living Church was so obviously an arm of the state that it failed to win many sincere believers.

• From The History of Christianity II: From the Reformation to the Modern Megachurch (2017)

  36 The History of Christianity II THE MENNONITES õ Perhaps the most well known branch of the Anabaptist movement is the Mennonites, named for their founder, the Dutch priest Menno Simons. Originally a Catholic, he pored over the Bible and came to the same conclusion that Conrad Grebel had: No one in the Bible baptizes babies, so Christians shouldn’t do it either. 37Lecture 4—The Anabaptist Radicals õ Simons renounced his Catholic ordination and became an Anabaptist. But he was horrified by the violence of the Münster episode. It did no good, and violence was no way to imitate Christ. õ Simons joined the Anabaptist movement at a crucial moment, when Anabaptists were recovering from the shock of Münster and splitting apart into smaller sects. It didn’t take long for some people to realize that Simons was a natural leader who put the faith ahead of his own ego. A group of them approached him and asked him to become an elder, an Anabaptist church office almost equivalent to that of a bishop. õ By the 1540s, Simons was often representing the Anabaptists as their spokesman in debates with other Protestants, or as a theological diplomat who was sent to rein in radicals. He was always on the move, leading followers (soon called Mennonites) from city to city throughout Germany and the Netherlands, trying to both spread the Anabaptist message and find a safe haven that wouldn’t boot them out. õ When it came to running a Christian community, the Mennonites were strict about church discipline. If someone went too far in challenging the leaders’ theology or broke any church rules, the entire community shunned them, cutting off all contact, even among family members. õ Mennonites would come to experience as many internal feuds and schisms as any other Protestant group. For example, take the Amish, the Anabaptists who live in tight-knit, isolated communities in Pennsylvania and Ohio. õ Their origins lie more than 300 years ago in a disagreement between their founder, Jakob Ammann, and some other Mennonites over the question of isolation from the outside world. Ammann excommunicated all the people who disagreed with him and led his followers—the Amish—to found their own church. õ Questions of how much to engage with people who don’t share your beliefs and how much can you change the traditions of your ancestors without deviating from true faith still preoccupy Anabaptists today.

• From Stone Butch Blues (1993)

  I looked the leader in his eyes, refusing to show him my fear. Of course we both knew I was afraid. I wasn't ready to die. Oh, I was scared alright. But what I hadn’t shown him yet was my rage. I might never get my hands on the powers that twisted and unleashed these bullies on me, but if I was going to die, I was sure as hell going to try to take them with me. I could feel a breeze on my face—a train was approaching. Would it come in time to save me? The attack began at that moment. His body betrayed him. He telegraphed his intention to move. I swung my spiked fist in an uppercut to his chin. At the moment of impact he bit off the end of his tongue. His blood sprayed my face. More of his blood ran down my wrist as I yanked out my fist. The train roared into the station. Another open throat. I thrust my clenched fist into it as hard as I could. Even over the racket of the train I could hear the gurgling sound as I pulled out my keys. A fist as hard as an anvil smashed the side of my jaw. The opposite side of my skull slammed into the metal column. I staggered down the platform, rubbing someone else’s blood from my eyes. The train doors opened. The early morning rush hour crowd moved away from me in horrot. When the doors closed I looked around. They hadn’t followed me onto the train. I looked at my hands, stained with elderberries and blood. I wondered how much of the blood was my own. My head throbbed more and more insistently. A steel rod of pain pierced my jaw—fiery hot, icy cold. My vision doubled, focused and blurred again. I couldn’t hear the sounds of the train over the roar in my ears. I got off the train at 14" Street. It was Ruth I wanted to see. If I was going to die, I wanted it to be in the arms of someone who understood me. But I knew we risked a hideous scene if we went to the hospital together. Maybe if I went alone and they didn’t make me take off my T-shirt they might help me. No one noticed me at first as I staggered through the double doors of St. Vincent’s Hospital. Then hands reached out for me, guided me. A nurse peered in my face as she pushed forms toward me. I invented someone who had insurance and no fear of being traced. How long would it take them to check out my lies?

• From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)

  feared him. Rockefeller was the kind of man who could not stand to lose in anything. If someone passed him by in a horse-drawn carriage, Rockefeller would have to whip his horses and overtake it. They worshipped in the same church; Payne knew he was a man of high principle, but he was also quite mysterious and secretive. In their meeting, Rockefeller confided in Payne: he was the first outsider to be told of the existence of this secret organization, to be called the Southern Improvement Company (SIC). Rockefeller claimed it was the railroads that had come up with the idea of the SIC to increase their profits, and that he had really had no choice but to enter into the agreement. He did not invite Payne to join the SIC. Instead he offered to buy out Payne’s refinery at a very nice price, to give Payne a hefty amount of Standard Oil stock that would certainly mint him a fortune, and to bring him in as a high-level executive with an illustrious title. He would make far more money this way than by trying to compete with Standard Oil. Rockefeller said all of this in the politest tone. He was going to keep expanding and bring some much-needed order to the anarchic oil industry. It was a crusade of his, and he was inviting Payne to be a fellow crusader from within Standard Oil. It was a compelling way to present his case, but Payne hesitated. He had moments of exasperation in dealing with this unpredictable business, but he had not thought of selling the refinery. It was all so sudden. Sensing his indecision, Rockefeller gave him a look of great sympathy and offered Payne the chance to examine Standard Oil’s ledgers, to convince him of the futility of resistance. Payne could hardly turn that down, and what he saw in a few short hours astounded him: Standard Oil had considerably higher profit margins than his own. Nobody had suspected to what extent Standard Oil was outpacing its rivals. For Payne, it was enough, and he accepted Rockefeller’s offer. News of the sale of Payne’s refinery, as well as the growing rumors of the existence of the SIC, completely rattled the other refinery owners in town. With Payne’s refinery in his pocket, Rockefeller was in a very strong position. Within weeks, J. W. Fawcett of Fawcett and Critchley, another major refinery in town, received a visit from Rockefeller. His pitch was ever so slightly more ominous than what he had delivered to Payne: the business was too unpredictable; Cleveland was farther away from the oil-producing towns, and the refiners had to pay more for crude oil to be shipped there; they were at a continual disadvantage; with the prices of oil continuing to fluctuate, many of them would go bust; Rockefeller was going to consolidate them and give Cleveland some leverage with the railroads; he was doing them

• From The History of Christianity II: From the Reformation to the Modern Megachurch (2017)

  346 The History of Christianity II JAPANESE DOMINATION õ From 1910 to 1945, Korea was under Japanese domination. The Japanese wanted Korean subjects to sever all relations with missionary groups and other foreign organizations, and to take part in the rituals of Japanese traditional religion, Shinto. õ In the Shinto worldview, Japan was a paradise created by the gods, and participating in Shinto rites at public shrines was a required demonstration of political loyalty. The Vatican saw that Korean Catholics were in a tight spot and signed a concordat with the Japanese government in 1936, basically saying that Catholics can do that; their activity at the shrines is not idol-worship but an act of patriotism. õ Protestants got into more tangles with the Japanese government: They pushed back against Japanese efforts to turn Korean schools into secular, Japanese-language operations. Christians were accused of trying to assassinate the governor general, and when some Korean activists got together in 1919 to sign a declaration of independence, nearly half of them were Protestant. õ In the government’s eyes, Christianity in general, and Protestantism in particular, seemed like a cult devoted to overthrowing the regime (even though most Korean Christians advocated for nonviolent resistance). Japanese troops burned churches, arrested and executed Christian leaders, and at least once herded Christians into their church and set it on fire. AFTER DIVISION õ With the end of World War II, the Allied powers ended Japanese rule in Korea. American forces occupied the south, and the Soviets held the north. This situation led to the establishment of two rival regimes: the Republic of Korea in the South, and the communist Democratic People’s Republic of Korea in the North. Under the leadership of

• From Stone Butch Blues (1993)

  I was still me on the inside, trapped in there with all my wounds and fears. But I was no longer me on the outside. I remember the morning I left work at the macaroni plant just before dawn. I was walking up Elmwood toward my bike. A woman on the sidewalk ahead of me looked over her shoulder nervously. I slowed my pace as she crossed the street and hurried away. She was afraid of me. That’s when I began to understand that passing changed almost everything. Two things didn’t change: I still had to work for a living, and I still lived in fear, only now it was the constant terror of discovery. I never realized what a small town Buffalo could be. 186 = Leslie Feinberg “Where'd you go to high schoolP” Eddie asked me after we finished unloading cartons from a truck. Should I lie or tell the truth? “Bennett,” I answered honestly. “No kidding? When did you graduate?” I fumbled for an answer. I had lied on my job application for this truck delivery position. I said Pd graduated from high school. “Uh, I transferred in my junior year.” “Yeah? When?” “Oh, I don’t know. Around 765, I guess.” “No kidding? My brother-in-law went to Bennett around the same time. His name’s Bobby—played football. You know hime” Bobby the rapist. My fists clenched and I ground my teeth. “Naw, I don’t think so.” Eddie nodded. “No loss. He could really be an asshole, if you ask me. You alright?” “Yeah, just a little sick, that’s all.” “Well, sit down a minute,” Eddie said. “Listen Eddie, ’m gonna run to the store for something.” And then I walked away. I just kept walking, faster and faster. I was running from my own past. I guess I could have left the city, but it felt as though I'd fall off the edge of the earth. So I stayed. But I always had to be looking over my shoulder in public, afraid ’d run into someone who knew me as a woman. Sometimes I didn’t see them until they saw me, like the time Gloria and the kids were shopping downtown. I was an aisle away in the men’s department. Gloria recognized me just a moment before I saw her. Her jaw dropped. She grabbed Kim and Scotty by their hands and tried to drag them away. Scotty got scared and cried. Kim called my name. “Jess! It’s Jess!” I came up to Gloria and put my hand on her shoulder. She pulled away in horror and wrapped her arms around Scotty and Kim as though she was protecting them from Count Dracula. “Gloria, for Christsakes, I’m just trying to survive, you know? It’s not such a big deal.” “Get away from me. What have you done?” she asked me in a strange, low voice. “What are you doing?” “Trying to live, Gloria. Give me a break, will yar”

• From Stone Butch Blues (1993)

  Remember the night you stayed home with me when I was so sick? That was the night—you remember. The cops picked out the most stone butch of them all to destroy with humiliation, a woman everyone said “wore a raincoat in the shower.” We heard they stripped her, slow, in front of everyone in the bar, and laughed at her trying to cover up her nakedness. Later she went mad, they said. Later she hung herself: What would I have done if I had been there that night? I'm remembering the busts in the bars in Canada. Packed in the police vans, all the Saturday-night butches giggled and tried to fluff up their hair and switch clothing so they could get thrown in the tank with the femme women—said it would be like “dyin’ and goin’ to heaven.” The law said we had to be wearing three pieces of women’s clothing. We never switched clothing. Neither did our drag queen sisters. We knew, and so did you, what was coming. We needed our sleeves rolled up, our hair slicked back, in order to live through it. Our hands were cuffed tight behind our backs. Yours were cuffed in front. You loosened my tie, unbuttoned my collar, and touched my face. I saw the pain and fear for me in your face, and I whispered it would be alright. We knew it wouldnt be. I never told you what they did to us down there—queens in one tank, stone butches in the next—but you knew. One at a Stone Butch Blues 3 time they would drag our brothers out of the cells, slapping and punching them, locking the bars behind them fast in case we lost control and tried to stop them, as if we could. They d handcuff a brother’s wrists to his ankles or chain his face against the bars. They made us watch. Sometimes wed catch the eyes of the terrorized victim, or the soon-to-be, caught in the vise of torture, and wed say gently, “T’m with you, honey, look at me, its OK, well take you home.” We never cried in front of the cops. We knew we were next. The next time the cell door opens it will be me they drag out and chain spread-eagle to the bars. Did I survive? I guess I did. But only because I knew I might get home to you. They let us out last, one at a time, on Monday morning. No charges. Too late to call in sick to work, no money, hitch- hiking, crossing the border on foot, rumpled clothes, bloody, needing a shower, hurt, scared. I knew youd be home if I could get there. You ran a bath for me with sweet-smelling bubbles. You laid out a fresh pair of white BVDs and a T-shirt for me and left me alone to wash off the first layer of shame.

• From The History of Christianity II: From the Reformation to the Modern Megachurch (2017)

  93Lecture 10—Eastern Orthodoxy: From Byzantium to Russia õ In 1453, the Ottoman Turks sacked Constantinople and toppled the Byzantine Empire. This was very bad news for the Patriarch, because his power and bureaucracy was totally tied up with the Eastern emperor’s institutions. For most of the next four and a half centuries, Orthodox Christians living in Greece, Anatolia, and much of Eastern Europe lived under Muslim Ottoman Rule. õ One notable location was Mount Athos, where Orthodox Christian spirituality was amazingly resilient through centuries of Ottoman domination. Mount Athos has been a gathering place for Orthodox monks since at least the 7 th century. These are Christian men who are so driven to connect with God and transcend their own humanity that they give up regular life and family and live a life of isolation and prayer. õ The Turks conquered this region in the early 1400s. The monks were practical, and they very quickly declared their allegiance to the sultan. The sultan, in turn, said that he would leave them alone, except for demanding an annual tribute. THE ORTHODOX WAY õ Eastern Christians say the goal of human life is union with the divine, a process they call theosis. The essence of this process is the ongoing effort to be like Christ. For most, it will take an entire life’s work. Monks have an audacious calling to seek this divine union as a mystical state in this life. But complete theosis can still only come upon death, when one’s bodily existence is subsumed within the life of God. õ Most Western Christians, on the other hand, imagine an insurmountable distance between humans and God. Maybe God can touch someone across that gap, but a person can’t become one with God, in part because of the stain of original sin. 94 The History of Christianity II õ In the West, Augustine came up with the predominant way of talking about original sin: as a permanent defect that all humans inherited through Adam and Eve’s mistakes in the Garden of Eden. But most of his writings were not available in Greek until the 13 th century, so the Orthodox came up with a different take on things. õ The Orthodox say Adam and Eve’s disobedience interrupted the process of spiritual maturation that God had planned for them. Other people might deserve God’s punishment, but that’s because of their own sins, not because the inherited the stain of original sin. And the natural human tendency is to move toward God, not to turn away from him. õ The Orthodox don’t have as much angst about the paradox of divine sovereignty and free will. To them, free will is actually a sign of our imperfection; if we were perfect, we wouldn’t need any choice, because we would always know what is good.

• From In an Unspoken Voice (2010)

  It can be said that the experience of fear derives from the primitive responses to threat where escape is thwarted (i.e., in some way—actual or perceived—prevented or conflicted). 54 Contrary to what you might expect, when one’s primary responses of fight-or-flight (or other protective actions) are executed freely, one does not necessarily experience fear, but rather the pure and powerful, primary sensations of fighting or fleeing. Recall, the response to threat involves an initial mobilization to fight or flee. It is only when that response fails that it “defaults” to one’s freezing or being “scared stiff” or to collapsing helplessly. In my case, in the ambulance, it was in my limbs—in the micro-movements of my arms rising upward to protect my head from mortal injury—that I first felt an opposite experience that contradicted my sensation of helplessness. For Nancy, it was her legs running to escape the doctor’s surgical knife. In both cases, consciously feeling our way through these active self-protective reflexes with precision brought us the physical sense of agency and power. Together, these experiences countered our feelings of overwhelming helplessness. Step by step, our bodies learned that we were not helpless victims, that we had survived our ordeals, and that we were intact and alive to the core of our beings. Along with instilling active defensive responses (which reduces fear), individuals learn that when they experience the physical sensations of paralysis, it is with less and less fear—each time trauma loosens its grip. With such a body-based epiphany, the mind’s interpretation of what happened and the meaning of it to one’s life and who one is shifts profoundly. Step 6. Uncoupling fear from immobility My clinical observations, drawn from more than four decades of work with thousands of clients, have led me to the solid understanding that the “physio-logical” ability to go into, and then come out of, the innate (hard-wired) immobility response is the key both to avoiding the prolonged debilitating effects of trauma and to healing even entrenched symptoms. 55 Basically, this is done by separating fear and helplessness from the (normally time-limited) biological immobility response as described in Chapter 4. For a traumatized individual, to be able to touch into his or her immobility sensations, even for a brief moment, restores self-paced termination and allows the “unwinding” of fear and freeze to begin. Of equal importance in resolving trauma is therapeutic restraint in not allowing the unwinding to occur precipitously. As with the nontitrated chemical reaction, abrupt decoupling can be explosive, frightening and potentially retraumatizing to the client. Through titration, the client is gradually led into and out of the immobility sensations many times, each time returning to a calming equilibrium (the “Alka-Seltzer fizzle”). In exiting from immobility, there is an “initiation by fire”; the intense energy-packed sensations that are biologically coupled with undirected flight and rage-counterattack are released. Understandably, people commonly fear both entering and exiting immobility, especially when they are not aware of the benefit of doing so.

• From In an Unspoken Voice (2010)

  Tight muscles in the neck and shoulders may, for example, signal to the brain that you are likely to be hit. Tense legs, along with furtive eyes, may tell you that you need to run and escape, and taut arms may signal that you’re ready to strike out. We suffer even greater distress when our guts are persistently overstimulated by the vagus nerve. If we are nauseated, twisted in our guts, feel our muscles collapsing, and lack in energy, we feel helpless and hopeless—even though there is no actual decimating threat. In other words, the churning itself signals grave threat and dread to the brain, even when nothing is currently wrong— at least not externally. Our muscular and visceral states color both our perceptions and our evaluation of the intentions of others. While we may believe that certain individuals will do us no harm, we still feel endangered. s Even something as neutral as a room, a street corner or a sunlit meadow may seem ominous. Conversely, experiencing relaxed (and well-toned) muscles and belly can signal safety even when a person’s daily affairs are in turmoil. As an illustration of this point, I overheard a person saying after receiving a full-body massage, “The world’s not such a bad place after all. I feel terrific.” While a wonderful massage is a great way to give a person a new way of feeling good, it will take a major shift in the ongoing dialogue on the brain-gut highway to free up more than ephemerally the congestion caused by chronic stress and trauma. The intense visceral reactions associated with threat are meant to be acute and temporary. Once the danger has passed, these reactions (be it inhibition of gastric motility by the sympathetic nervous system or violent overstimulation of motility by the primitive vagus nerve) need to cease in order to return the organism to equilibrium, fresh and flowing in the here and now. When balance is not restored, one is left in acute and, eventually, chronic distress. In order to prevent trauma as well as to reverse it when it has already occurred, individuals must become aware of their visceral sensations. t In addition, our gut sensations are vital in orchestrating positive feelings of aliveness and in directing our lives. They are also the source of much of our intuition. As we can learn from traditional, shamanic and spiritual practices, embraced for thousands of years throughout the world, feelings of goodness are embodied directly as visceral sensations. When we ignore our “gut instincts,” it is at our own great expense, if not peril. In states of immobilization and shutdown, the sensations in our guts are so dreadful that we routinely block them from consciousness. But this strategy of “absence” only maintains the status quo at best, keeping both brain and body hopelessly stuck in an information traffic jam.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  Reply to Objection 2: Just as in the Baptism, where the mystery of the first regeneration was proclaimed, the operation of the whole Trinity was made manifest, because the Son Incarnate was there, the Holy Ghost appeared under the form of a dove, and the Father made Himself known in the voice; so also in the transfiguration, which is the mystery of the second regeneration, the whole Trinity appears—the Father in the voice, the Son in the man, the Holy Ghost in the bright cloud; for just as in baptism He confers innocence, signified by the simplicity of the dove, so in the resurrection will He give His elect the clarity of glory and refreshment from all sorts of evil, which are signified by the bright cloud. Reply to Objection 3: Christ came to give grace actually, and to promise glory by His words. Therefore it was fitting at the time of His transfiguration, and not at the time of His baptism, that men should be commanded to hear Him. Reply to Objection 4: It was fitting that the disciples should be afraid and fall down on hearing the voice of the Father, to show that the glory which was then being revealed surpasses in excellence the sense and faculty of all mortal beings; according to Ex. 33:20: “Man shall not see Me and live.” This is what Jerome says on Mat. 17:6: “Such is human frailty that it cannot bear to gaze on such great glory.” But men are healed of this frailty by Christ when He brings them into glory. And this is signified by what He says to them: “Arise, and fear not.” THE PASSION OF CHRIST (TWELVE ARTICLES)In proper sequence we have now to consider all that relates to Christ’s leaving the world. In the first place, His Passion; secondly, His death; thirdly, His burial; and, fourthly, His descent into hell. With regard to the Passion, there arises a threefold consideration: (1) The Passion itself; (2) the efficient cause of the Passion; (3) the fruits of the Passion. Under the first heading there are twelve points of inquiry: (1) Whether it was necessary for Christ to suffer for men’s deliverance? (2) Whether there was any other possible means of delivering men? (3) Whether this was the more suitable means? (4) Whether it was fitting for Christ to suffer on the cross? (5) The extent of His sufferings; (6) Whether the pain which He endured was the greatest? (7) Whether His entire soul suffered? (8) Whether His Passion hindered the joy of fruition? (9) The time of the Passion; (10) The place; (11) Whether it was fitting for Him to be crucified with robbers? (12) Whether Christ’s Passion is to be attributed to the Godhead?

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  Reply to Objection 2: Things that are such absolutely, remain such, whatever be added to them; for instance, a cold thing, or a white thing: but things that are such relatively, vary according as they are compared with different things. For what is big in comparison with one thing, is small in comparison with another. Now a thing is said to be voluntary, not only for its own sake, as it were absolutely; but also for the sake of something else, as it were relatively. Accordingly, nothing prevents a thing which was not voluntary in comparison with one thing, from becoming voluntary when compared with another. Reply to Objection 3: That which is done through fear, is voluntary without any condition, that is to say, according as it is actually done: but it is involuntary, under a certain condition, that is to say, if such a fear were not threatening. Consequently, this argument proves rather the opposite. Whether concupiscence causes involuntariness?Objection 1: It would seem that concupiscence causes involuntariness. For just as fear is a passion, so is concupiscence. But fear causes involuntariness to a certain extent. Therefore concupiscence does so too. Objection 2: Further, just as the timid man through fear acts counter to that which he proposed, so does the incontinent, through concupiscence. But fear causes involuntariness to a certain extent. Therefore concupiscence does so also. Objection 3: Further, knowledge is necessary for voluntariness. But concupiscence impairs knowledge; for the Philosopher says (Ethic. vi, 5) that “delight,” or the lust of pleasure, “destroys the judgment of prudence.” Therefore concupiscence causes involuntariness. On the contrary, Damascene says (De Fide Orth. ii, 24): “The involuntary act deserves mercy or indulgence, and is done with regret.” But neither of these can be said of that which is done out of concupiscence. Therefore concupiscence does not cause involuntariness. I answer that, Concupiscence does not cause involuntariness, but on the contrary makes something to be voluntary. For a thing is said to be voluntary, from the fact that the will is moved to it. Now concupiscence inclines the will to desire the object of concupiscence. Therefore the effect of concupiscence is to make something to be voluntary rather than involuntary. Reply to Objection 1: Fear regards evil, but concupiscence regards good. Now evil of itself is counter to the will, whereas good harmonizes with the will. Therefore fear has a greater tendency than concupiscence to cause involuntariness.

• From Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood (2016)

  It went in, came out, and didn’t do any real damage. The other bullet went through the back of her head, entering below the skull at the top of her neck. It missed the spinal cord by a hair, missed the medulla oblongata, and traveled through her head just underneath the brain, missing every major vein, artery, and nerve. With the trajectory the bullet was on, it was headed straight for her left eye socket and would have blown out her eye, but at the last second it slowed down, hit her cheekbone instead, shattered her cheekbone, ricocheted off, and came out through her left nostril. On the gurney in the emergency room, the blood had made the wound look much worse than it was. The bullet took off only a tiny flap of skin on the side of her nostril, and it came out clean, with no bullet fragments left inside. She didn’t even need surgery. They stopped the bleeding, stitched her up in back, stitched her up in front, and let her heal. “There was nothing we can do, because there’s nothing we need to do,” the doctor said. My mother was out of the hospital in four days. She was back at work in seven. — The doctors kept her sedated the rest of that day and night to rest. They told all of us to go home. “She’s stable,” they said. “There’s nothing you can do here. Go home and sleep.” So we did. I went back first thing the next morning to be with my mother in her room and wait for her to wake up. When I walked in she was still asleep. The back of her head was bandaged. She had stitches in her face and gauze covering her nose and her left eye. She looked frail and weak, tired, one of the few times in my life I’d ever seen her look that way. I sat close by her bed, holding her hand, waiting and watching her breathe, a flood of thoughts going through my mind. I was still afraid I was going to lose her. I was angry at myself for not being there, angry at the police for all the times they didn’t arrest Abel. I told myself I should have killed him years ago, which was ridiculous to think because I’m not capable of killing anyone, but I thought it anyway. I was angry at the world, angry at God. Because all my mom does is pray. If there’s a fan club for Jesus, my mom is definitely in the top 100, and this is what she gets? After an hour or so of waiting, she opened her unbandaged eye. The second she did, I lost it. I started bawling.

• From Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood (2016)

  He handed me the attorney’s business card, I called him, and he agreed to take my case. He told me to stay put while he handled everything. Now I needed money, because lawyers, as nice as they are, don’t do anything for free. I called a friend and asked him if he could ask his dad to borrow some money. He said he’d handle it. He talked to his dad, and the lawyer got his retainer the next day. With the lawyer taken care of, I felt like I had things under control. I was feeling pretty slick. I’d handled the situation, and, most important, Mom and Abel were none the wiser. When the time came for lights-out a cop came and took my stuff. My belt, my wallet, my shoelaces. “Why do you need my shoelaces?” “So you don’t hang yourself.” “Right.” Even when he said that, the gravity of my situation still wasn’t sinking in. Walking to the station’s holding cell, looking around at the other six guys in there, I was thinking, This is no big deal. Everything’s gonna be cool. I’m gonna get out of this. I thought that right up until the moment the cell door clanged shut behind me and the guard yelled, “Lights out!” That’s when I thought, Oh, shit. This is real. — The guards had given me a mat and a scratchy blanket. I rolled them out on the concrete floor and tried to get comfortable. Every bad prison movie I’d ever seen was racing through my head. I was thinking, I’m gonna get raped. I’m gonna get raped. I’m gonna get raped. But of course I didn’t get raped, because this wasn’t prison. It was jail, and there’s a big difference, as I would soon come to understand. I woke up the next morning with that fleeting sensation where you think something has all been a dream. Then I looked around and remembered that it wasn’t. Breakfast came, and I settled in to wait. A day in jail is mostly silence punctuated by passing guards shouting profanities at you, doing roll call. Inside the holding cell nobody says anything. Nobody walks into a jail cell and says, “Hi, guys! I’m Brian!” Because everyone is afraid, and no one wants to appear vulnerable. Nobody wants to be the bitch. Nobody wants to be the guy getting killed. I didn’t want anyone to know that I was just a kid in for a traffic charge, so I reached back in my mind for all the stereotypes of what I imagined people act like in prison, and then I tried to act like that. In South Africa, everyone knows that colored gangsters are the most ruthless, the most savage. It’s a stereotype that’s fed to you your whole life. The most notorious colored gangs are the Numbers Gangs: the 26s, the 27s, the 28s. They control the prisons.

• From In an Unspoken Voice (2010)

  In the short run, the suppression of immobility sensations appears (to our denial-biased mind) to keep the paralysis and helplessness at bay. However, in time, it becomes apparent that evasive maneuvers are an abject failure. This “sweeping under the rug” not only prolongs the inevitable, it often makes the eventual encounter with immobility even more frightening. It is as if the mind recognizes the extent of our resistance and in response interprets it as further evidence of peril. If, on the other hand, one is able to utilize the vital assistance of titration and pendulation, one can touch gently and briefly into that deathlike void without coming undone. Hence, the immobility response can move ahead in time toward its natural conclusion, self-paced termination. The fear of exiting immobility: In the wild, when a prey animal has succumbed to the immobility response, it remains motionless for a time. Then, just as easily as it stopped moving, it twitches, reorients and scampers off. But if the predator has remained and sees its prey returning to life, the story has a very different ending. As the prey comes back to life and sees the predator standing ready for a second (and this time lethal) attack, it either defaults to all-out rage and counterattacks, or it attempts to run away in frantic non-directed flight. Thus reaction is wild and “mindless.” As I mentioned in Chapter 4, I once saw a mouse counterattack a cat that had been batting it about with its paws (bringing the mouse out of its stupor), and then scurry away, leaving the cat dazed, like Tom-cat in a Tom and Jerry cartoon. Just as the immobilized animal (in the presence of the predator) comes out ready for violent counterattack, so too does a traumatized person abruptly swing from paralysis and shutdown to hyper-agitation and rage. Fear of this rage and the associated hyper-intense sensations prevents a tolerable exit from immobility unless there is education, preparation, titration and guidance. The fear of rage is also the fear of violence—both toward others and against oneself. The exiting of immobility is inhibited by the following double bind: to come back to life, one must feel the sensations of rage and intense energy. However, at the same time, these sensations evoke the possibility of mortal harm. This possibility inhibits sustained contact with the very sensations that bring relief from the experience of immobility, thereby leading to resolution. Recall the prescience of Kahlbaum (in Chapter 4) when he wrote in 1874: “In most cases catatonia is preceded by grief and anxiety and in general by depressive moods and affects aimed against the patient by himself.” 56 Because the rage associated with the termination of immobility is both intense and potentially violent, frequently traumatized people inadvertently turn this rage against themselves in the form of depression, self-hatred and self-harm.