Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again

desire

• It is in the nature of desire to be social, emergent and responsive – to context, to our histories and to the desires and behaviours of others. Desire never exists in isolation.

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• Working out what we want is a life's work, and it has to be done over and over and over. The joy may lie in it never being done.

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erotic-as-power

• Emphatic rhetoric urging self-knowledge about desire is problematic not because it depicts women as vulnerable, but because it reveals a horror of vulnerability.

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• Personhood, and its relationship to the body, is different in men and women: men are authorities on themselves, while women are not.

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embodiment

• To desire, to yearn, is to be made vulnerable – hankering after nourishment, contact, recognition in the embrace of the other. There is great joy in the fracturing of the composed, adult self.

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• To be met in one's desire, and to be surprised in one's desire, is an exercise in mutual trust and negotiation of fear. When it works, it can feel miraculous.

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