Boys & Sex

erotic-as-power

• "I felt like I was being used. I was just there for her to have sex with, not as a person, which maybe I deserved because of my reputation."

  BS-002

• First exposure was often unbidden — older brothers spinning a smartphone screen as a manly rite of passage, or a clip of a man shoving his outsize penis down a woman's throat.

  BS-013

trauma-and-survival

• Julia, who was sober, fumbled with his pants. He had to call her the next day and ask if they'd had sex.

  BS-001

• "Fuck you," she responded. "Guys can't get assaulted for real." Dylan blocked her and fell into a funk.

  BS-003

• Inability to recognize or process negative experiences robs boys of choice and, potentially, of empathy — sometimes to the point of hostility toward women.

  BS-010

self-and-identity

• Mateo — Latinx and gay, the son of a janitor — was none of those things. He felt immediately conscious of how he held himself, how he sat, and the pitch of his voice.

  BS-015