Book

Between Us

Batja Mesquita

Sequence ladder

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Themeresearch-bulk-chunkbuhcbtwu

Contextresearch_analysis

What this book knows

Emotions are not private inner states but cultural acts woven between people — your 'MINE' may be someone else's 'OURS'.

Sex: Absent
Work: Present
Learning: Present
Religion: Absent

self-and-identitybelongingshame

self-and-identity

Talking about emotions primarily in terms of feeling appears to be rather exceptional, both historically and geographically. People in many cultures focus on emotions as relational acts.
BTWU-RC-032
When a culture's focus is inward, emotions are different from when it is outward. The OURS model helps us recognize how our own emotions are social and cultural.
BUHC-RC-043

belonging

Shame is a bid for inclusion, typically by submission. This is right in cultures valuing interdependence, but wrong in cultures that value independence and assertion.
BTWU-RC-093
Friendship in American contexts meant emotional support and shared interest, whereas Ghanaian views on friendship differed substantially in trust and closeness reported.
BTWU-RC-100

shame

Shame-turned-anger — 'humiliated fury' — appears to skip the painful experience of rejection and transforms it into aggression towards others.
BTWU-RC-085
Anger and shame, associated with dominance and avoiding exclusion, weave the social fabric of relationships and are shaped by the culture in which they occur.
BTWU-RC-072

Illuminates

6 published passages · book excerpt · research analysis

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