Surprise

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From Lost Christianities: Christian Scriptures and the Battles over Authentication (2002)

  81 The Rise of Early Christian Orthodoxy Lecture 19 It’s striking that, despite the fact that there’s such a range of Christian beliefs that there was, in the end, only one that emerged as victorious. W e have covered a wide range of early Christian beliefs and practices in our lectures to this point. We have seen remarkable diversity among the Christian groups that we know of from the second and third centuries. Ebionites thought that Christ was a human being, a righteous man adopted by God at his baptism to be the Son of God (adoptionistic). Marcionites thought that Jesus was completely God and only seemed to be human (docetic). Gnostics thought that Jesus was a man, but Christ was a God (separationist). The proto-orthodox view agreed with the Ebionites that Jesus was a man but disagreed with them when they said that Jesus was not God. They disagreed with Gnostics, believing instead that Jesus was both God and man. Each of these groups had authoritative books that claimed to represent the views of Jesus and his apostles. Ebionites used the Gospel of Matthew. Those who separated the Jesus from the Christ used the Gospel of Mark. Marcionites used the Gospel of Luke. Followers of Valentinus used the Gospel of John. But only one of these early Christian groups emerged as victorious in the struggle to win converts and to establish the “true” nature of Christianity. This victorious group shaped for all time what Christians would believe and which Scriptures they would accept. How, though, did this one group establish itself as dominant and virtually eliminate all traces of both its opponents and the various Scriptures they revered? The traditional answer to this question derives from Eusebius, the fourth- century “father of church history.” Eusebius is one of the most important authors of Christian antiquity. He ¿ gured prominently in the theological disputes of his own day and was well connected politically. Most signi¿ cantly, he wrote the ¿ rst history of Christianity, discussing the course of the Christian religion from the days of Jesus down to his own time.

• From Another Country (1962)

  She nodded her head, Yes, and slowly rose. He rose with her. She kept her head down and moved swiftly, drunkenly, past him, into the bathroom. She locked the door. He had the spinning sensation of having been through all this before. He lit a flame under the coffee pot, making a mental note to break down the bathroom door if she were silent too long, if she were gone too long. But he heard the water running, and, beneath it, the sound of the rain. He ate a pork chop, greedily, with a piece of bread, and drank a glass of milk; for he was trembling, it had to be because of hunger. Otherwise, for the moment, he felt nothing. The coffee pot, now beginning to growl, was real, and the blue fire beneath it and the pork chops in the pan, and the milk which seemed to be turning sour in his belly. The coffee cups, as he thoughtfully washed them, were real, and the water which ran into them, over his heavy, long hands. Sugar and milk were real, and he set them on the table, another reality, and cigarettes were real, and he lit one. Smoke poured from his nostrils and a detail that he needed for his novel, which he had been searching for for months, fell, neatly and vividly, like the tumblers of a lock, into place in his mind. It seemed impossible that he should not have thought of it before: it illuminated, justified, clarified everything. He would work on it later tonight; he thought that perhaps he should make a note of it now; he started toward his work table. The telephone rang. He picked up the receiver at once, stealthily, as though someone were ill or sleeping in the house, and whispered into it, “Hello?” “Hello, Vivaldo. It’s Eric.” “Eric!” He was overjoyed. He looked quickly toward the bathroom door. “How did things go?” “Well. Cass is beautiful, as you know. But life is grim.” “As I know. Has anything been decided?” “Not really, no. She just called me a few minutes ago—I haven’t been home long. Oh, thanks for your note. She thinks that she might go up to New England for a little while, with the kids. Richard hasn’t come home yet.” “Where is he?” “He’s probably out getting drunk.” “Who with?” “Well, Ellis, maybe—” They both halted at the name. The wires hummed. Vivaldo looked at the bathroom door again. “You knew about that, Eric, didn’t you, this morning.” “Knew about what?” He dropped his voice lower, and struggled to say it: “Ida. You knew about Ida and Ellis. Cass told you.” There was silence for a moment. “Yes.” Then, “Who told you?” “Ida.” “Oh. Poor Vivaldo.” After a moment: “But it’s better that way, isn’t it? I didn’t think that I was the one to tell you—especially—well, especially not this morning.” Vivaldo was silent. “Vivaldo—?” “Yes?” “Don’t you think I was right? Are you sore at me?”

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  9 Then the words spoken by Jeremiah the prophet were fulfilled: “AND THEY TOOK THE THIRTY PIECES OF SILVER , THE PRICE OF HIM ON WHOM A PRICE HAD BEEN SET by the sons of Israel; [Jer 18:1 , 2 ; 19:1–15 ; 32:6–9 ] 10 AND THEY GAVE THEM FOR THE POTTER’S FIELD , AS THE LORD DIRECTED ME .” [Zech 11:13 ] Jesus before Pilate 11 Now Jesus stood before [Pilate] the governor, and the governor asked Him, “Are you the King of the Jews?” [In affirmation] Jesus said to him, “ It is as you say.” [Mark 15:2–5 ; Luke 23:2 , 3 ; John 18:29–37 ] 12 But when the charges were brought against Him by the chief priests and elders, He did not answer. [Is 53:7 ] 13 Then Pilate said to Him, “Do You not hear how many things they are testifying against You?” 14 But Jesus did not reply to him, not even to a single accusation, so that the governor was greatly astonished. 15 Now at the feast [of the Passover] the governor was in the habit of setting free any one prisoner whom the people chose. [Mark 15:6–15 ; Luke 23:18–25 ; John 18:39–19:16 ] 16 And at that time they were holding a notorious prisoner [guilty of insurrection and murder], called Barabbas. 17 So when they had assembled [for this purpose], Pilate said to them, “Whom do you want me to set free for you? Barabbas, or Jesus who is called Christ?” 18 For Pilate knew that it was because of jealousy that the chief priests and elders had handed Jesus over to him. 19 While he was seated on the judgment seat, his wife sent him a message, saying, “Have nothing to do with that righteous and innocent Man; for last night I suffered greatly in a dream because of Him.” 20 But the chief priests and the elders persuaded the crowds to ask for Barabbas and to put Jesus to death.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  Acts 14 Acceptance and Opposition 1 N OW IN Iconium Paul and Barnabas went into the Jewish synagogue together and spoke in such a way [with such power and boldness] that a large number of Jews as well as Greeks believed [and confidently accepted Jesus as Savior]; 2 but the unbelieving Jews [who rejected Jesus as Messiah] stirred up and embittered the minds of the Gentiles against the a believers. 3 So Paul and Barnabas stayed for a long time, speaking boldly and confidently for the Lord, who continued to testify to the word of His grace, granting that signs and wonders (attesting miracles) be done by them. 4 But the people of the city were divided; some were siding with the Jews, and some with the apostles. 5 When there was an attempt by both the Gentiles and the Jews, together with their rulers, to shamefully mistreat and to stone them, 6 they, aware of the situation, escaped to Lystra and Derbe, [taking refuge in the] cities of Lycaonia, and the neighboring region; 7 and there they continued to preach the good news. 8 Now at Lystra a man sat who was unable to use his feet, for he was crippled from birth and had never walked. 9 This man was listening to Paul as he spoke, and Paul looked intently at him and saw that he had faith to be healed, 10 and said with a loud voice, “Stand up on your feet.” And he jumped up and began to walk. 11 And the crowds, when they saw what Paul had done, raised their voices, shouting in the b Lycaonian language, “The gods have come down to us c in human form!” 12 They began calling Barnabas, Zeus [chief of the Greek gods], and Paul, Hermes [messenger of the Greek gods], since he took the lead in speaking. 13 The priest of Zeus, whose temple was at the entrance of the city, brought bulls and garlands to the city gates, and wanted to offer sacrifices with the crowds. 14 But when the apostles Barnabas and Paul heard about it, they d tore their robes and rushed out into the crowd, shouting, 15 “Men, why are you doing these things? We too are only men of the same nature as you, bringing the good news to you, so that you turn from these useless and meaningless things to the living God, WHO MADE THE HEAVEN AND THE EARTH AND THE SEA AND EVERYTHING THAT IS IN THEM . [Ex 20:11 ; Ps 146:6 ] 16 “In generations past He permitted all the nations to go their own ways; 17 yet He did not leave Himself without some witness [as evidence of Himself], in that He kept constantly doing good things and showing you kindness, and giving you rains from heaven and productive seasons, filling your hearts with food and happiness.” 18 Even saying these words, with difficulty they prevented the people from offering sacrifices to them.

• From Another Country (1962)

  The policeman seemed to take a dim, even a murderous view of this, and, ceasing to wait on occult inspiration, peered commandingly into the bar. The signal he then received caused him, slowly, to move a little away. But Vivaldo beamed on Eric as though Eric were his pride and joy; and said again, to Ida, staring at Eric, “Ida, this is Eric. Eric, meet Ida.” And he took their hands and placed them together. Ida grasped his hand, laughing, and looked into his eyes. “Eric,” she said, “I think I’ve heard more about you than I’ve ever heard about any living human being. I’m so glad to meet you, I can’t tell you. I’d decided you weren’t nothing but a myth.” The touch of her hand shocked him, as did her eyes and her warmth and her beauty. “I’m delighted to meet you, too,” he said. “You can’t have heard more about me—you can’t have heard better about me—than I’ve heard about you.” They held each other’s eyes for a second, she still smiling, wearing all her beauty as a great queen wears her robes—and establishing that distance between them, too—and then one of the musicians came to the doorway, and said, “Ida, honey, the man says come on with it if you coming.” And he disappeared. Ida said, “Come on, follow me. They’ve got a table for us way in back somewhere.” She took Eric’s arm. “They’re doing me a favor, letting me sit in. I’ve never sung in public before. So I can’t afford to bug them.” “You see,” said Vivaldo, behind them, “you got off the boat just in time for a great occasion.” “You should have let him say that,” said Ida. “I was just about to,” said Eric, “believe me.” They squeezed through the crowd to the slightly wider area in the back. Here, Ida paused, looking about her. She looked up at Eric. “What happened to Richard and Cass?” “They asked me to apologize for them. They couldn’t come. One of the kids was sick.” He felt, as he said this, a faint tremor of disloyalty—to Ida: as though she were mixed up in his mind with the colored children who had attacked Paul and Michael in the park. “Today of all days,” she sighed—but seemed, really, scarcely to be concerned about their absence. Her eyes continued to search the crowd; she sighed again, a sigh of private resignation. The musicians were ready, attempts were being made to silence the mob. A waiter appeared and seated them at a tiny table in a corner next to the ladies’ room, and took their order. The malevolent heat, now that they were trapped in this spot, began rising from the floor and descending from the ceiling.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  45 All the circumcised believers who came with Peter were amazed, because the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out even on the Gentiles. 46 For they heard them talking in [unknown] tongues (languages) and exalting and magnifying and praising God. Then Peter said, 47 “Can anyone refuse water for these people to be baptized, since they have received the Holy Spirit just as we did?” 48 And he ordered that they be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. Then they asked him to stay there for a few days. Acts 11 Peter Reports at Jerusalem 1 N OW THE apostles and the believers who were throughout Judea heard [with astonishment] that the Gentiles also had received and accepted the word of God [the message concerning salvation through Christ]. 2 So when Peter went up to Jerusalem, those of the circumcision [certain Jewish believers who followed the Law] took issue with him [for violating Jewish customs], 3 saying, “You went to uncircumcised men and [even] ate with them!” 4 But Peter began [at the beginning] and explained [the events] to them step by step, saying, 5 “I was in the city of Joppa praying; and in a trance I saw a vision of an object coming down from heaven, like a huge sheet being lowered by the four corners; and [it descended until] it came right down to me, 6 and looking closely at it, I saw all kinds of the four-footed animals of the earth and the wild beasts and the crawling creatures and the birds of the air [both clean and unclean according to the Law], 7 and I also heard a voice saying to me, ‘Get up, Peter; kill and eat.’ 8 “But I said, ‘Not at all, Lord; for nothing common (unholy) or [ceremonially] unclean has ever entered my mouth.’ 9 “But the voice from heaven answered a second time, ‘What God has cleansed and pronounced clean, no longer consider common (unholy).’ 10 “This happened three times, and everything was drawn up again into heaven. 11 “And right then the three men who had been sent to me from Caesarea arrived at the house where we were staying . 12 “The Spirit told me to go with them without the slightest hesitation. So these six brothers also went with me and we went to the man’s house. 13 “And Cornelius told us how he had seen the angel standing in his house, saying, ‘Send word to Joppa and have Simon, who is also called Peter, brought here; 14 he will bring a message to you by which you will be saved [and granted eternal life], you and all your household.’ 15 “When I began to speak, the Holy Spirit fell on them just as He did on us at the beginning [at Pentecost].

• From American Swing (2008)

  81 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:09,082 LARRY WAS EITHER OFF SELLING SODAS ON THE BEACH 82 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,376 OR PREPARING FOR SWINGERS PARTIES, 83 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,294 WHEREVER THEY MIGHT BE HELD. 84 00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:15,880 I WAS VERY SURPRISED WHEN LARRY WAS INVOLVED 85 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,007 IN THAT KIND OF LIFESTYLE. 86 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:21,636 I REALLY DIDN'T THINK THAT IT WAS SOMETHING THAT WOULD BE HIS THING TO DO. 87 00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:24,555 BUT MAYBE I JUST DIDN'T KNOW HIM THAT WELL. 88 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:32,647 ♪ WHAT'S OUR FAVORITE EVENING GAME? ♪ 89 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,482 ♪ NIGHT BASEBALL? ♪ 90 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,943 ♪ OH, BABY, YOU'RE ALL WET ♪ 91 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:40,571 ♪ LET'S SWAP PARTNERS IS THE NAME ♪ 92 00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:43,783 ♪ SUBURBAN ROULETTE... ♪ 93 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,411 YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T LIKE TO SEE IS THIS THING ABOUT YOU HAVE TO BE MONOGAMOUS. 94 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,830 I SAY NOBODY'S MONOGAMOUS. AND IF YOU MAKE SOMEBODY SAY 95 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,082 THAT YOU'RE FUCKING MONOGAMOUS AND YOU'RE GONNA BE LEGITIMATE, 96 00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:52,917 "I MARRIED HER. I'M NEVER GONNA FUCK," I'M A LIAR. 97 00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:55,378 THE SWINGING MOVEMENT WAS VERY SMALL 98 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,088 AND VERY SECRET. 99 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,757 WE ALL HAVE JOBS AND WE ALL PAY MORTGAGES. 100 00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:03,261 JUST BECAUSE WE CONSIDER OURSELVES SWINGERS, 101 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:06,723 WE'RE NOT FREAKS OF NATURE. 102 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,183 ♪ I LOVE YOUR SISTER ♪ 103 00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:10,643 ♪ TOMORROW NIGHT... ♪ 104 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:14,397 AT A SWING PARTY, YOU CAN GO, YOU CAN FIND-- MEET OTHER PEOPLE 105 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,649 THAT MAYBE CAN MEET SOME OF YOUR SEXUAL NEEDS 106 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:18,484 THAT MAYBE YOUR SPOUSE CAN'T. 107 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:21,070 AND YET YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO OUT AND CHEAT. 108 00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:24,824 SWINGING IS A SITUATION WHERE A MAN AND A WOMAN, 109 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,368 PART OF THEIR SEX LIFE 110 00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:29,829 IS TO FIND OTHER COUPLES OR OTHER PEOPLE 111 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,789 THAT HAVE SIMILAR INTERESTS, 112 00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:34,334 THAT THEY LIKE SOCIALLY, THEY LIKE TO BE WITH, 113 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,627 BUT IN PARTICULAR THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH. 114 00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:40,048 ♪ SUBURBAN ROULETTE... ♪ 115 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:44,010 ♪ SUBURBAN ROULETTE! ♪ 116 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,932 THE MEETING AREA WAS USUALLY A BAR 117 00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:54,812 THAT THEY TOOK OVER FOR FRIDAY, SATURDAY NIGHT. 118 00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:58,024 I WORKED AS A WAITRESS AND SOME GUYS USED TO COME IN 119 00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,651 AND THEY BROUGHT IN "SCREW" MAGAZINE AND I BROUGHT IT HOME 120 00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:03,488 AND I SHOWED IT TO CHARLIE. 121 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:07,325 - AND THAT'S ALL IT TOOK. - AND THERE WERE ALL KINDS OF ADS IN IT. 122 00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:11,621 - AND WE STARTED TO THINK ABOUT IT. - GET INTERESTED.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  20 And immediately he began proclaiming Jesus in the synagogues, saying, “This Man is the Son of God [the promised Messiah]!” 21 All those who heard him continued to be amazed and said, “Is this not the man who in Jerusalem attacked those who called on this name [of Jesus], and had come here [to Damascus] for the express purpose of bringing them bound [with chains] before the chief priests?” 22 But Saul increased in strength more and more, and continued to perplex the Jews who lived in Damascus by examining [theological evidence] and proving [with Scripture] that this Jesus is the Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed). 23 After considerable time had passed [about three years or so], the Jews plotted together to kill him, 24 but their plot became known to Saul. They were also watching the city’s gates day and night so they could kill him; 25 but his disciples took him at night and let him down through an opening in the wall, lowering him in a large basket. 26 When he arrived in Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples; but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. 27 However, e Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles, and described to them how Saul had seen the Lord on the road [to Damascus], and how He had spoken to him, and how at Damascus Saul had preached openly and spoken confidently in the name of Jesus. 28 So he was with them, moving around freely [as one among them] in Jerusalem, speaking out boldly in the name of the Lord. 29 He was talking and arguing with the f Hellenists (Greek-speaking Jews); but they were attempting to kill him. 30 When the brothers found out [about the plot], they brought him down to g Caesarea [Maritima] and sent him off to Tarsus [his home town]. 31 So the church throughout Judea and Galilee and Samaria enjoyed peace [without persecution], being built up [in wisdom, virtue, and faith]; and walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort and encouragement of the Holy Spirit, it continued to grow [in numbers]. Peter’s Ministry 32 Now as Peter was traveling throughout the land, he went down to [visit] the h saints (God’s people) who lived at Lydda. 33 There he found a man named Aeneas, who had been bedridden for eight years and was paralyzed. 34 Peter said to him, “Aeneas, Jesus Christ heals you. Get up and make your bed.” Immediately Aeneas got up. 35 Then all who lived at Lydda and the plain of Sharon saw [what had happened to] him, and they turned to the Lord. 36 Now in i Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha, (which translated into Greek means Dorcas). She was rich in acts of kindness and charity which she continually did.

• From Another Country (1962)

  He saw them before they saw him. Something made him turn around and look out through the door, to the sidewalk; and Ida and Vivaldo, loosely swinging hands, walked up and began talking to the musicians. Ida was wearing a tight, white, low-cut dress, and her shoulders were covered with a bright shawl. On the little finger of one hand, she wore a ruby-eyed snake ring; on the opposite wrist, a heavy, barbaric-looking bracelet, of silver. Her hair was swept back from her forehead, piled high, and gleaming, like a crown. She was far more beautiful than Rufus and, except for a beautifully sorrowful, quicksilver tension around the mouth, she might not have reminded him of Rufus. But this detail, which he knew so well, caught him at once, and so did another detail, harder, for a moment, to place. She laughed at something said by one of the musicians, throwing her head back: her heavy silver earrings caught the light. Eric felt a pounding in his chest and between his shoulderblades, as he stared at the gleaming metal and the laughing girl. He felt, suddenly, trapped in a dream from which he could not awaken. The earrings were heavy and archaic, suggesting the shape of a feathered arrow: Rufus never really liked them. In that time, eons ago, when they had been cufflinks, given him by Eric as a confession of his love, Rufus had hardly ever worn them. But he had kept them. And here they were, transformed, on the body of his sister. The burly college boy, looking straight ahead, seemed to nudge Eric with his knee. Eric moved a little out from the bar and moved nearer the door, so that they would see him when they looked his way.

• From Shoe Dog: A Memoir by the Creator of Nike (2016)

  He invited me to lunch at the Cosmopolitan Hotel, where the team would be staying. January 25, 1964. I was terribly nervous as the waitress showed us to our table. I recall that Bowerman ordered a hamburger, and I said croakily: “Make it two.” We spent a few minutes catching up. I told Bowerman about my trip around the world. Kobe, Jordan, the Temple of Nike. Bowerman was especially interested in my time in Italy, which, despite his brushes with death, he remembered fondly. At last he came to the point. “Those Japanese shoes,” he said. “They’re pretty good. How about letting me in on the deal?” I looked at him. In? Deal? It took me a moment to absorb and understand what he was saying. He didn’t merely want to buy a dozen Tigers for his team, he wanted to become—my partner? Had God spoken from the whirlwind and asked to be my partner, I wouldn’t have been more surprised. I stammered, and stuttered, and said yes. I put out my hand. But then I pulled it back. “What kind of partnership did you have in mind?” I asked. I was daring to negotiate with God. I couldn’t believe my nerve. Nor could Bowerman. He looked bemused. “Fifty-fifty,” he said. “Well, you’ll have to put up half the money.” “Of course.” “I figure the first order will be for a thousand dollars. Your half will be five hundred.” “I’m good for that.” When the waitress dropped off the check for the two hamburgers, we split that, too. Fifty-fifty. I REMEMBER IT as the next day, or maybe sometime in the next few days or weeks, and yet all the documents contradict my memory. Letters, diaries, appointment books—they all definitively show it taking place much later. But I remember what I remember, and there must be a reason why I remember it the way I do. As we left the restaurant that day, I can see Bowerman putting on his ball cap, I can see him straightening his string tie, I can hear him saying: “I’ll need you to meet my lawyer, John Jaqua. He can help us get this in writing.” Either way. Days later, weeks later, years later, the meeting happened like this. I pulled up to Bowerman’s stone fortress and marveled, as I always did, at the setting. Remote. Not many folks made it out there. Along Coburg Road to Mackenzie Drive until you found a winding dirt lane that went a couple miles up the hills into the woods. Eventually you came to a clearing with rosebushes, solitary trees, and a pleasant house, small but solid, with a stone face. Bowerman had built it with his bare hands. As I slipped my Valiant into park, I wondered how on earth he’d managed all that backbreaking labor by himself. The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

• From Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist's Memoir (2017)

  We visited the Amsterdam neighborhood where Spinoza spent his early life, saw the houses in which he later dwelled, and took the same barge rides on the canal that he had taken. I now had numerous visual details of Spinoza’s Holland, but I was no closer to formulating the narrative necessary for a novel. All that changed when I visited the Spinozahuis. At first I was disappointed to find that the museum held none of Spinoza’s personal effects. Instead, I saw a replica of the lens-grinding equipment he would have used, and a portrait painted after his death. Moreover, our guide informed me that the portrait may not have been accurate, because no likenesses of him were made during his lifetime. All the paintings of Spinoza were based on written descriptions. Then I turned to the museum’s major attraction: Spinoza’s personal library of 151 sixteenth-and seventeenth-century books. I had been looking forward to holding books that Spinoza’s fingers had touched, hoping that his spirit would inspire me. Although the public was not permitted to touch the books, I was granted special permission. As I held one reverently in my hands, my guide drifted over to my side and gently said, “Pardon me, Dr. Yalom… perhaps you know this… but Spinoza’s hands never touched this book, or, indeed, any of the books in the library: these books are not the actual physical books owned by Spinoza.” I was stunned. “What do you mean? I don’t understand.” “After Spinoza’s death in 1677, Spinoza’s tiny estate could not cover the costs of his funeral and burial, and his one possession of value, his library, had to be auctioned off.” “But these books here, these ancient books?” “The auctioneer was exceedingly punctilious. For the auction he wrote an extremely detailed description of each book—the date, publisher, city, binding, et cetera. Two hundred years after his death, a wealthy patron provided funds to reconstitute Spinoza’s entire library, and the buyers faithfully followed the auctioneer’s book descriptions in their purchases.” Though I was interested in all that I saw and heard, none of it was the stuff of a novel. Discouraged, I turned to leave, but at that very moment, I overheard the word “Nazis” used in a conversation between our guides and the museum guard. “Why the Nazis? What were they doing in this museum?” They told me an amazing story. Shortly after the Nazis occupied Holland, a troop of ERR soldiers appeared at the museum, closed and sealed it, and confiscated the entire library. “So this library again had to be reconstituted?” I asked. “And that means these books are twice removed from the touch of Spinoza’s fingers?” “No, not at all,” my guide reassured me: “To everyone’s amazement, the entire collection stolen by the Nazis, minus only a few volumes, was found after the war hidden in a sealed salt mine.” I was astonished and bursting with questions.

• From Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist's Memoir (2017)

  Astonished by this award, I asked the committee why they had selected me, an openly religious skeptic, and they responded that I, more than most other psychiatrists, had dealt with “religious questions.” After my presentation, which was subsequently published as a monograph titled Religion and Psychiatry and appeared in Greek and Turkish translations, I had lunch with Yannis, who extended an invitation from Stavros Petsopoulos to speak in Athens. A year later, we arrived at Athens and immediately took a forty-five-minute flight on a small plane to Syros, a small Greek island on which Yannis and Evangelia had a summer home. Suffering badly from jet lag, I always require a couple of days’ acclimation before speaking appearances. We rested on the island at a little inn in the small town of Hermoupolis, breakfasting every morning on home-baked croissants and jam made from figs growing on a sprawling tree on the front lawn. Two days later we were scheduled to leave the island for a press conference in Athens, but, the night before our departure, the ferryboat personnel went on strike, and Stavros then booked a small four-seat plane. On the short flight to Athens, the pilot, who had read When Nietzsche Wept , talked to me animatedly about the book. Then the taxi driver at the airport recognized me and, during our ride, told me about his favorite parts of Lying on the Couch . At the Hilton I walked into a press conference with approximately twenty journalists. Never before, in the United States or in any other country, had I ever had a press conference. It was as close as I’ve ever come to real celebrity. The following day, 2,500 people came to hear my address in the hotel ballroom. The lobby was so packed that I could get there only via a circuitous path through the underground kitchen. Only nine hundred headphones had been ordered, and the idea of simultaneous translation had to be scrapped at the last minute. I cut my comments by half so as to permit sequential translation. The translator, who had been prepared to work from a written copy of my presentation, went into a panic, but she got through it and did an excellent job. Listeners interrupted the speech throughout with questions and comments. Someone in the audience heckled me so vociferously for not answering all the questions fully that the police had to remove him. After my talk, when I signed books, many buyers brought gifts—honey from their own beehives, bottles of home-brewed Greek wine, paintings they had done. One dear elderly woman insisted that I accept a gold coin her parents had sewn into her coat when she escaped from Turkey as a child. That evening, I felt exhausted, gratified, and beloved, but puzzled by the extent of the acclaim. There was little more I could do but go with the flow and try to keep my equilibrium.

• From Another Country (1962)

  Ida was wearing a tight, white, low-cut dress, and her shoulders were covered with a bright shawl. On the little finger of one hand, she wore a ruby-eyed snake ring; on the opposite wrist, a heavy, barbaric-looking bracelet, of silver. Her hair was swept back from her forehead, piled high, and gleaming, like a crown. She was far more beautiful than Rufus and, except for a beautifully sorrowful, quicksilver tension around the mouth, she might not have reminded him of Rufus. But this detail, which he knew so well, caught him at once, and so did another detail, harder, for a moment, to place. She laughed at something said by one of the musicians, throwing her head back: her heavy silver earrings caught the light. Eric felt a pounding in his chest and between his shoulderblades, as he stared at the gleaming metal and the laughing girl. He felt, suddenly, trapped in a dream from which he could not awaken. The earrings were heavy and archaic, suggesting the shape of a feathered arrow: Rufus never really liked them. In that time, eons ago, when they had been cufflinks, given him by Eric as a confession of his love, Rufus had hardly ever worn them. But he had kept them. And here they were, transformed, on the body of his sister. The burly college boy, looking straight ahead, seemed to nudge Eric with his knee. Eric moved a little out from the bar and moved nearer the door, so that they would see him when they looked his way. He stood sipping his drink in the bar; they stood on the twilit sidewalk. Eric watched Vivaldo and used these moments to remember him. Vivaldo seemed more radiant than he had ever been, and less boyish. He was still very slim, very lean, but he seemed, somehow, to have more weight. In Eric’s memory, Vivaldo always put one foot down lightly, like a distrustful colt, ready, at any moment, to break and run; but now he stood where he stood, the ground bore him, and his startled, sniffing, maverick quality was gone. Or perhaps not entirely gone: his black eyes darted from face to face as he spoke, as he listened, investigating, weighing, watching, his eyes hiding more than they revealed. The conversation took a more somber turn. One of the musicians had brought up the subject of money—of unions, and, with a gesture toward the spot where Eric stood, of working conditions. Vivaldo’s eyes darkened, his face became still, and he looked briefly down at Ida. She watched the musician who was speaking with a proud, bitter look on her face. “So maybe you better give it another thought, gal,” the musician concluded. “I’ve thought about it,” she said, looking down, touching one of the earrings.

• From Every Woman's Battle: Discovering God's Plan for Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment (2003)

  My immediate response was, “Yeah, right!” Not that I didn’t feel qualified to write such a book (having graduated from the school of hard knocks when it comes to recognizing and overcoming sexual and emotional temptations), but I had already been trying to publish a manuscript on these exact issues for over a year. Time after time I heard publishers say, “Women don’t deal with sexual issues enough that a book on that topic would really sell.” Meanwhile, Every Man’s Battle was climbing to the top of the best-seller list. I wondered how people could be so naive as to think that sexual integrity is strictly a man’s issue. Both men and women were created by God as sexual beings, weren’t they? It takes two to tango, and for every man who falls prey to sexual temptation, there is a woman falling with him. While many men limit their affairs to what they take in lustfully through their eyes, women also submit longingly to mental fantasies or emotional affairs. Some compare their husbands to other men and become disillusioned by their husbands’ failure to measure up. So many of us fail to recognize how we compromise our sexual integrity, how we rob ourselves of what we long for most—true intimacy and fulfillment. Curious as to why my husband felt so strongly about Every Man’s Battle, I read it through voraciously. I kept thinking, Many of these issues are not common just to men, but to women also! They simply manifest themselves differently! Stephen Arterburn was hearing the exact same thing from so many women that he believed the need was undeniable. Little did I know that within a few months God would, in fact, divinely bring Steve and me together on this project (thanks to my friends Ron and Katie Luce, our literary agents at Alive Communications, and the visionaries at WaterBrook Press). So take heart and know that your cries for help have been heard. This book is a training manual that will help you avoid sexual and emotional compromise and will show you how to experience God’s plan for sexual and emotional fulfillment. I also wrote a comprehensive workbook to accompany Every Woman’s Battle. It will help you learn more about what God has to say on this subject and will help you examine your own personal life so you can develop a practical plan for victory in your own unique battle for sexual and emotional integrity. Do you want to be a woman of sexual and emotional integrity? With God’s help you can. Let’s get started. [image file=image_rsrc242.jpg] [image file=image_rsrc243.jpg] not just a man’s battle! You stumble day and night…. My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge. HOSEA 4:5-6 At one time I was having extramarital affairs with five different men.

• From Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty (1999)

  Eyes were equally controversial. When Japan opened its doors after over two hundred and fifty years of isolation, the initial delegation of samurai sent to the United States in 1860 reported that Western women’s eyes looked like “dogs’ eyes” and that this was “disheartening.” Westerners meanwhile were dismayed by the fact that half of the Asians lacked an upper eyelid crease, and some had an epicanthal fold, a piece of skin that partially covers the inner corner of the eye. This made Asian eyes look expressionless to Westerners, who were accustomed to eyelids that changed shape with different emotions. The narrower shape also made the eyes appear sleepy and small. Skin color was perhaps the most salient difference. In many parts of the non-Caucasian world, Europeans seen for the first time were thought to be ghosts or ancestors returned from the dead. When Australian Michael Leahy explored the mountainous regions of New Guinea in 1930 he came across tribesmen who were “utterly thunderstuck by our appearance.… One old chap came forward gingerly with open mouth, and touched me to see if I was real. Then he knelt down, and rubbed his hands over my bare legs, possibly to find if they were painted.” Unconvinced that these wan intruders were human, they spied on them to see if they defecated. When they did, the scout returned with the message, “Their skin may be different, but their shit smells bad like ours.” Darwin reports, “The African Moors … knitted their brows and seemed to shudder” when they saw white skin because, here too people believed that white skin was only found in demons or spirits. The Europeans and their American descendants in the eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries carried strong presumptions about the beauty and superiority of their race. Indeed, Darwin found it necessary to tell his readers that “savages” admire the beauty of their women: “I have heard it maintained that savages are quite indifferent about the beauty of their women.… This conclusion does not at all agree with the care which the women take in ornamenting themselves, or with their vanity.” He also explained that the people of each culture preferred their appearance to the appearance of the Europeans. As one source told him, he “did not think it probable that Negroes would ever prefer the most beautiful European woman on the mere grounds of physical admiration to a good-looking Negress.” Another told him that in Thailand the women “have small noses with divergent nostrils, a wide mouth, rather thick lips, a remarkably large face.… Yet they consider their own females to be much more beautiful than those of Europe.”

• From Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist's Memoir (2017)

  When I turned eighty, a few unexpected voices from the past awakened some memories. First there was Ursula Tomkins, who found me via my webpage. I had not thought of her since we attended Gage Elementary School together in Washington, DC. Her email read, “Happy 80th birthday, Irvin. I’ve read and enjoyed two of your books and asked our Atlanta library to get some of the others. I remember you from Miss Fernald’s fourth grade class. I don’t know if you remember me—I was pleasingly plump with red frizzy hair and you were a beautiful boy with coal-black hair!” So Ursula, whom I remembered well, thought I was a beautiful boy with coal black hair! Me? Beautiful? If only I had known! Never, not for a moment, had I ever thought of myself as a beautiful boy. I was shy, nerdish, lacking in self-confidence, and never imagined that anyone found me attractive. Oh, Ursula, bless you. Bless you for telling me I was beautiful. But, why, oh why, didn’t you speak up earlier? It might have changed my entire childhood! And then, two years ago, there was a phone message from the deep past that began: “THIS IS JERRY, your old chess buddy!” Even though I had not heard his voice in seventy years, I recognized it immediately. It was Jerry Friedlander, whose father owned a grocery store on Seaton and North Capitol Streets, just a block from my father’s store. In his message he told me that his granddaughter, in a clinical psychology course, was reading one of my books. He remembered that we had played together regularly for two years when I was twelve and he fourteen, a time I remember only as a wasteland of insecurity and self-doubt. Since I remembered so very little from those years, I jumped at the opportunity for feedback and pumped Jerry for any impressions he had of me (after, of course, sharing my impressions of him). “You were a nice guy,” he said. “Very gentle. I remember that in all our times together we never had an argument.” “Give me more,” I said greedily. “I’ve such hazy images from then.” “You played around some but, for the most part, you were really serious and scholarly. In fact I’d say very scholarly. Whenever I came over to your place, your head was buried in a book—oh yeah, that I remember well—Irv and his books. And always reading hard stuff and good literature—way over my head. No comic books for you.” That was only partly true—in fact, I had been a major aficionado of Captain Marvel, Batman, and Green Hornet. (Not Superman, though: his invulnerability drained all suspense from his adventures.) Jerry’s words reminded me that during those years I often bought used books from a bookstore on Seventh Street just a block from the library. As I reminisced, an image of a large, rust-colored, arcane book on astronomy drifted into view.

• From Push (1996)

  "We got some new people—" "I found something!" Jo Ann shout. "I beg your pardon," say teacher but you can see she ain' beggin' nothin', she mad. "No, I'm sorry Ms Rain"—I see right now Jo Ann is clown—"but I jus' want to say, do anyone need an extra notebook I foun' in the chicken place?" "It's mine!" I say. "Git a grip," Jo Ann say. "I got one." I shocks myself saying that. "I left that book at Arkansas Jr. Fried Chicken on Lenox between one-two-seven and one-two-six this morning." "Well I'll be a turkey's asshole!" Jo Ann screamed. "Thas where I found it." I reaches my hand she smile me. Han' me my book, look at my stomach, say, "When you due?" I say, "Not sure." She frown, don't say nothing, and go sit a couple seats away from me in the row right behind me. Miz Rain look pretty bent out of shape then melt, say, "We got more new people than old people today, so let's just go back to day one and git to know each other and figure out what we gonna do here together." I look at her weird. Am' she spozed to know what we gonna do. How we gonna figure anything out. Weze ignerent. We here to learn, leas' I am. God I hope this don't be another ... another ... I don't know—another like before, yeah another like the years before. "Let's try a circle," teacher say. Damn I just did sit myself down in front row and now we getting in a circle. "We don't need all those chairs," teacher say waving at Jo Ann who dragging chairs from second row. "Just pull out five or six, however many of us it is, and put 'em in a little circle and then we'll put 'em back in rows after we finish introducing ourselves." She sit herself in one of the chairs and we all do the same (I mean she the teacher 'n all). "OK," she say, "let's get to know each other a little bit uummm, let's see, how about your name, where you were born, your favorite color, and something you do good and why you're here." "Huh?" Big red girl snort. Miss Rain go to board and say, "Number one, your name," then she write it, "number two, where you were born," and so on until it all on board: name where you were born favorite color something you do good why you are here today She sit back down say, "OK, I'll start. My name is Blue Rain—" "Thas your real name!" This from girl with boy suit on. "Urn hmmm, that's my for real hope to die if I'm lying name." "Your first name Blue?" same girl say. "Urn hmm," Ms Rain say this like she tired of mannish girl. "Splain that!" "Well," say Ms Rain real proper. "I don't feel I have to explain my name." She look at girl, girl git message.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  Nicostratus waxed momently more and more astonished, insomuch that he said, 'Needs must I see if this pear-tree is enchanted and if whoso is thereon seeth marvels.' Thereupon he climbed up into the tree and no sooner was he come to the top than the lady and Pyrrhus fell to solacing themselves together; which when Nicostratus saw, he began to cry out, saying, 'Ah, vile woman that thou art, what is this thou dost? And thou, Pyrrhus, in whom I most trusted?' So saying, he proceeded to descend the tree, whilst the lovers said, 'We are sitting here'; then, seeing him come down, they reseated themselves whereas he had left them. As soon as he was down and saw his wife and Pyrrhus where he had left them, he fell a-railing at them; whereupon quoth Pyrrhus, 'Now, verily, Nicostratus, I acknowledged that, as you said before, I must have seen falsely what while I was in the pear-tree, nor do I know it otherwise than by this, that I see and know yourself to have seen falsely in the like case. And that I speak the truth nought else should be needful to certify you but that you have regard to the circumstances of the case and consider if it be possible that your lady, who is the most virtuous of women and discreeter than any other of her sex, could, an she had a mind to outrage you on such wise, bring herself to do it before your very eyes. I speak not of myself, who would rather suffer myself to be torn limb-meal than so much as think of such a thing, much more come to do it in your presence. Wherefore the fault of this misseeing must needs proceed from the pear-tree, for that all the world had not made me believe but that you were in act to have carnal knowledge of your lady here, had I not heard you say that it appeared to yourself that I did what I know most certainly I never thought, much less did.'

• From Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty (1999)

  But psychologist Judith Langlois is convinced that no lessons are required: we are born with preferences and even a baby knows beauty when she sees it. Langlois collected hundreds of slides of people’s faces and asked adults to rate them for attractiveness. When she presented these faces to three- and six-month-old babies, they stared significantly longer at the faces that adults found attractive. The babies gauged beauty in diverse faces: they looked longer at the most attractive men, women, babies, African-Americans, Asian-Americans, and Caucasians. This suggests not only that babies have beauty detectors but that human faces may share universal features of beauty across their varied features. Langlois is quick to point out that infants show preferences for beautiful unfamiliar faces. It is unlikely that an infant’s behavior toward his or her caregivers is influenced by their facial beauty, given the importance of attachment to the baby’s survival. Nor is she suggesting that babies with attractive mothers have a special eye for beauty. Babies looked longer at attractive faces regardless of the mother’s attractiveness. The notion that infants come prewired with beauty detectors was not the prevailing theory when Judith Langlois began her research ten years ago. The idea that an infant would be peering out at the world with the eyes of a neonate beauty judge is downright discomfiting: even they notice looks? But her results are part of a growing body of evidence that infants share a universal set of sensual preferences. They prefer to look more at symmetrical patterns than at asymmetrical ones, and to touch soft surfaces rather than rough ones. By four months of age they prefer consonant to dissonant music. When psychologists Jerome Kagan and Marcel Zentner played dissonant melodies to babies, they wrinkled their noses in disgust. Kagan and Zentner felt that they were witnessing the first signs of a preference for easy listening and mellifluous crooning. We can learn to love dissonance, but it is an acquired taste. Babies pay close attention to the human face. Within ten minutes of emerging from the mother’s body, their eyes follow a line drawing of a face. By day two they can discriminate their mother’s face from a face they have never seen before. The next day they begin mimicking facial actions: stick out your tongue at a newborn and the baby will do the same. Each newborn orients immediately toward whatever is biologically significant, and topmost will be people who ensure her survival.

• From Little Women (1868)

  If it is a feminine delusion, leave us to enjoy it while we may, for without it half the beauty and the romance of life is lost, and sorrowful forebodings would embitter all our hopes of the brave, tenderhearted little lads, who still love their mothers better than themselves and are not ashamed to own it. Laurie thought that the task of forgetting his love for Jo would absorb all his powers for years, but to his great surprise he discovered it grew easier every day. He refused to believe it at first, got angry with himself, and couldn't understand it, but these hearts of ours are curious and contrary things, and time and nature work their will in spite of us. Laurie's heart wouldn't ache. The wound persisted in healing with a rapidity that astonished him, and instead of trying to forget, he found himself trying to remember. He had not foreseen this turn of affairs, and was not prepared for it. He was disgusted with himself, surprised at his own fickleness, and full of a queer mixture of disappointment and relief that he could recover from such a tremendous blow so soon. He carefully stirred up the embers of his lost love, but they refused to burst into a blaze. There was only a comfortable glow that warmed and did him good without putting him into a fever, and he was reluctantly obliged to confess that the boyish passion was slowly subsiding into a more tranquil sentiment, very tender, a little sad and resentful still, but that was sure to pass away in time, leaving a brotherly affection which would last unbroken to the end. As the word 'brotherly' passed through his mind in one of his reveries, he smiled, and glanced up at the picture of Mozart that was before him... "Well, he was a great man, and when he couldn't have one sister he took the other, and was happy." Laurie did not utter the words, but he thought them, and the next instant kissed the little old ring, saying to himself, "No, I won't! I haven't forgotten, I never can. I'll try again, and if that fails, why then..." Leaving his sentence unfinished, he seized pen and paper and wrote to Jo, telling her that he could not settle to anything while there was the least hope of her changing her mind. Couldn't she, wouldn't she—and let him come home and be happy? While waiting for an answer he did nothing, but he did it energetically, for he was in a fever of impatience. It came at last, and settled his mind effectually on one point, for Jo decidedly couldn't and wouldn't. She was wrapped up in Beth, and never wished to hear the word love again. Then she begged him to be happy with somebody else, but always keep a little corner of his heart for his loving sister Jo.