Shame

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  (2) The second kind of bad communicants is the deceitful, or the hypocrites. These have an appearance of godliness, because they have the same Sacraments as the good; but they deny the power of godliness, that is, charity, because they do much evil in secret, and make false excuses for it when it is known. Three great evils follow these also: a, they will be made companions of the traitor Judas; b, they will be confounded before the whole universe; c, they will be cast out from the fellowship of the good. a. Jesus spoke to Judas about his treachery words that He still speaks to all those who are like Judas, that is, His false friends. He who eats His Bread not for profit, but in hypocrisy, treads Him under foot and betrays Him. He, therefore, who tries to lie hid in his sin by a full pretence of religion, nay, even of Communion, becomes like Judas, and is made a companion of that traitor. b. God will unveil the hiding-places of the hypocrites, and will show all their hidden things to the whole world. With great shame and confusion they will be cast down before the gaze of men and Angels, and still more before the piercing eyes of God. c. Our Lord says that hypocrites are like whited sepulchres, and are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness, that is, of rottenness, the worm, and stench. They are full of hypocrisy and iniquity: of hypocrisy, from their habit of false praise; and of iniquity, from their longing for earthly goods and their hatred of the truth. Our Lord, by His prophet, says that these souls, being defiled by hypocrisy, shall perish from the people, that is, shall be cut off from the saved, and cast away into everlasting death. N. But God in His mercy gives us a sweet remedy for these things and a safeguard against these three evils. He, and He only, can bring good out of evil. Since He is good three good things follow Him: a, forgiveness of punishment due; b, the restoration of the grace of God; c, the attainment of everlasting bliss. a. When any one lives in the grace of God not a hair of his head can perish: that is, he keeps himself free from mortal sin. b. The graces of God are poured down on those who love Him. c. The servant in the parable is told to rejoice, because through his faithfulness here he reaches the fulness of everlasting joy in Heaven. There the Blessed Mother of God and all the Redeemed and all the Angels will praise God in the gladness of eternal life. The Voice of the Holy Ghost About bad Communions; Whosoever shall eat this Bread or drink the chalice of the Lord unworthily shall be guilty of the Body and of the Blood of the Lord. 1 Cor. 11:27.

• From Love & Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy (2018)

  “God called to the Man: ‘Where are you?’” The God of pursuit has come looking for His beloved children. Adam replies, “‘I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid.’ God said, ‘Who told you, you were naked?’” (Gen. 3:9–11). This is such a powerful question, a question that begs exploring. I wonder if God is saddened when a parent slaps his or her child’s hand because they are exploring their genitals and learning that they feel good. I wonder if God is saddened when a teenager’s body is flooded with either testosterone or estrogen and sexual feelings arise and someone says, “What is wrong with you? Your sexuality is dirty, and you better keep that under wraps. Don’t come home pregnant, young lady; and buddy, you better keep that in your pants.” Imagine if naked were normal and we weren’t freaked out that God made us sexual creatures on purpose? Imagine if we saw our sexuality as normal, but sacred, and the act of sex as something godlike and holy and fun and playful? We’d live in a different world where we would talk about sex and educate our children and integrate our values and our spirituality into the greater context of our sexuality. It would be normal to include God in our sexual decision making. Our choices would be less about what our hormones are saying and more about our character structure. But because of the Fall we have separated our sexuality from our spirituality, and we keep much of what we do with it hidden under the fig leaves—away from God and away from those we are meant to love. If our sexuality and spirituality were integrated, we might have frequent conversations with God such as; “God, would You teach me how to make love to my husband? I just haven’t been in the mood lately, and the kids are wearing me out. I don’t want to have someone grab my breasts, snuggle me, or tug on me. I need some space, and sex just doesn’t sound like fun.”—Or—“God, I need Your help in connecting sexually with my wife. I seem to be all thumbs, and I’m not touching her in a way that stirs much up. Would You help me, help us to have the kind of sex You want us to have?” If single, we might say, “Lord, I am dating this amazing person, and I am so hot on fire for him or her sexually. What do I do with my desires and longings? How do I handle wanting to have sex so bad—and yet You want me to wait until we are in a covenant relationship. How do I do this?”

• From Love & Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy (2018)

  Let’s face it, sex is fun, and orgasms are amazing! But having sex with someone who doesn’t care about you eventually leaves you either hurt and lonely, or hard and closed off or both. Before I sound like I am judging Eve, let me say if I were in her shoes, I most likely would have made the same choice. I hate to think that given what we know now, but let’s be honest; we all have a tendency to do what seems like a good idea at the moment without counting the cost. And we are easily sold. Immediately the two of them did, “See what’s really going on,”—saw themselves naked. They sewed fig leaves together, as makeshift clothes for themselves. Naked was normal and naked with no shame was their shared normal. Yet they eat of evil and the first awareness is one that radically shifts their sexuality. I often wonder if our sexuality is at the deepest core of who we are as human beings, and if that is why the enemy of our God goes after it with dirty vengeance. You might wonder, why was their nakedness the first thought? Why not, “My heart hurts, or I feel somehow different, or the sky is a different shade of blue, or where is Father—help, Daddy!!” No, what hits them is, “You are naked and I am naked and that’s not good, so let’s cover our sexual parts and let’s hide.” There is a radical shift in their once joyful, vulnerable, creative relationship. Now the focus has changed to hiding from their shared shame. They cut parts of themselves off from each other and the process of isolation, hiding, and independence becomes their new normal. They move from a position of “we” into an “I” stance with themselves and with God. “When they heard the sound of God strolling in the garden in the evening breeze, the Man and his Wife hid in the trees of the garden, hid from God” (Gen. 3:8). We have been hiding ourselves from each other and from God ever since. God made us for relationships; the biggest lie of the enemy of our soul is we are grossly inadequate and we must figure out life on our own. He says we are shameful for not knowing. It’s no wonder we are lonely and one-night stands, casual hookups, and sexual withholding in married life have become the norm. People who hide are lonely. It doesn’t fit our DNA, because we were made for knowing and being known. What was meant to be natural to us humans—relationships and genuine knowing and healthy sexual relating—becomes unnatural. Lest I sound like a total pessimist, let’s not forget Jesus came to set it all right for us. What we made a mess of, He came to totally redeem and to put back in place the Father’s original plan.

• From Buddenbrooks: The Decline of a Family (1901)

  His business was in a miserable state, and although he was constantly subject to a series of grievances, he seemed to be enjoying himself like kings in the restaurant, in the circus, in the theater, and, judging by the debts which were now being revealed and which he was owing good-sounding name, to live far beyond his means. It was known on Mengstrasse, in the "Club" and in the whole town who was primarily to blame. It was a female, a single lady named Aline Puvogel who had two beautiful children. Of the Hamburg merchants, Christian Buddenbrook was not the only one who had close and expensive relationships with her ... Short,there were more disgusting things besides Tony's desire for a divorce, and the trip to Hamburg was urgent. Incidentally, it was likely that Permaneder himself would first let himself be heard ... The consul went and he returned angry and dejected. But since there was still no news from Munich, he felt compelled to take the first step. He wrote; wrote coolly, matter-of-factly and a little condescendingly: Undeniably, Antonie had been exposed to severe disappointments in living with Permaneder ... even apart from details, she had not been able to find the happiness she had hoped for in this marriage on the whole ... her wish to see the alliance dissolved must seem justified to the cheap thinker ... unfortunately seems her decision not to return to Munich, to be unshakable... And the question then followed as to how Permaneder was dealing with these facts... Days of tension!... Then Mr. Permaneder answered. He answered in a way nobody expected, neither Doctor Gieseke, nor the Consul, nor Thomas, nor even Antonie. He agreed to the divorce in simple words. He wrote that he sincerely regretted what had happened, but that he respected Antonia's wishes, for he saw that he and she 'didn't really go together'. If he has given her difficult years, she should try to forget them and forgive him... Since he will probably not see her and Erika again, he wishes her and the child all the best of luck forever... Alois Permaneder. – He expressly offered in a postscript for the immediate restitution of the dowry. For his part, he could live carefree with his own. He doesn't need a deadline, because business cannot be settled, the house is his business and the sum is liquid immediately. – Tony was almost a little ashamed, and for the first time felt inclined to find Mr. Permaneder's slight passion for money commendable. Now Dr. Gieseke went into action again, he got in touch with the husband regarding the reason for the divorce, "mutual insurmountable aversion" was determined, and the process began - Tony's second divorce process, the phases of which she followed with seriousness, expertise and tremendous zeal . She talked about where she was going and where she was, so that the Consul became angry several times. At first she was unable to share his grief.

• From Love & Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy (2018)

  Because of this, we have made a tremendous mess of it all. We have done harm to ourselves and others. Thankfully, none of our mess is outside of His redemptive plan. With that said, we cannot be naive about how the Fall has sucked us into the vortex of shame—particularly shame about our sexuality. We learned from our first parents how to hide when we feel ashamed, how to put the fig leaves over our private parts and hope for the best. Our sexual brokenness began at the moment we could see evil and we separated our sexuality from our Creator in that moment. CONSULTING OUR DESIGNER My husband is a builder; together we have built seven homes. For each project we consult with our architect on a regular basis throughout the building process. Without consulting the designer we most likely would end up with something much less than what we originally hoped. The same is true for the development of our sexuality. Consulting with the Designer is our only hope that this significant part of ourselves, both personally and culturally, will find health. I hope reading this story—God’s love story of what was in His heart from the beginning, and how the story took a heart-wrenching turn—gives you a deeper understanding of why human sexuality has become so complex and is in desperate need of separating the good from the evil. WHY IS LOVE IMPORTANT TO SEX? Some believe sexuality was the devil’s idea. I understand that thinking, given the horrendous ways we humans have used sexuality to manipulate, shame, control, harm, and overpower others. But clearly, sexuality was introduced before the Fall of mankind and our God is the God of Love. Simply stated, He is Love. He loves the world. And He invites us to love one another, saying it is the greatest thing we will ever do. We are to love others as we love ourselves. A relationship not growing in love will not be secure and solid. Love is a must. His word begins with a marriage in Genesis and finishes in grand finale with a marriage in Revelation, supporting the idea God made us for love relationships. God is in a sweet community of love and He invites us to create and participate with Him in loving relationships. Our sexuality is intended to be grounded and rooted in God’s love. He created mankind as one human being and then extracted the feminine from the masculine. They were originally one and sexual intercourse is the way in which the two become one again. God created sexual longing when He separated the two; instinctively, they long for the familiarity of the other’s body and desire one another sexually. That God-given desire is a part of our makeup.

• From Love & Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy (2018)

  “Jason,” James said, “I think what the pastor may have been trying to say is when sex gets paired with adrenaline it can be a rush some people get hooked on. And when sex is about getting a rush, married sex can be boring because this couple has used sex to get a high instead of sex being an expression of love. A couple like that then needs help in redefining married sex, just like Kaycie and I have needed help. “Remember, most of us need to be rewired sexually. But it’s never hopeless and you definitely aren’t cursed to live in the dungeon of sexual doom. Here’s the thing we have to remember: God is the God who redeems, not some of our mistakes, but all of them. Have you asked Grace to forgive you?” “Yeah, we spent hours on the phone last week. We talked it all through and I asked her to forgive me. She said, ‘Jason, let’s be honest. We have waited for five years; I wanted you as bad as you wanted me. I forgive you. Will you forgive me?’ I told you she is the sweetest girl alive. I can’t wait to marry her and spend the rest of my life loving her and creating a family with her.” “Then, Jason,” Ted said, “Don’t let anybody put you under a bucket of shame. I believe you and Grace will have a joyful and fulfilling sex life together. David and Bathsheba didn’t get off to a great start. As a matter of fact, their first sexual encounter had nothing to do with love and everything to do with David’s lust and using his power in an abusive way; and yet they eventually become parents to one of the greatest monarchs in history. Don’t let anyone speak words over you and Grace that will steal from you or this child. Our past mistakes do not define our future promises.” “I think I need to know you all don’t see me as the biggest hypocrite in the world,” Jason finally said. “Guys, can you respond to Jason? Do you think he is a hypocrite?” Ted asked. Trevor spoke up, “No, I don’t, and, like Kevin said, you have been a real friend to me too. I know you love Grace and how committed to her you are. It’s okay, man; we all screw up.” “What’s your next move?” Ted asked. “I am going to marry that girl, as fast as I can.” Jason smiled. “So here’s the thing. Everyone messes up sexually, whether it’s too much of something or too little; rarely do we humans get this thing right. We all need God’s redeeming touch on this area of our lives. And for most, there are deeper issues at play here.” Ted asked the guys, “Can anybody relate to Jason—the shame he feels?”

• From Love & Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy (2018)

  Depending on the level and type of impression our first experiences make (from minor to traumatic) our wiring is again shaped and rewired. Neuroscience teaches us what gets fired together gets wired together. So if someone has a negative sexual experience, or interprets it as negative, the brain fires and then wires that memory into the circuitry. Fortunately, God is the God of redemption and transformation. He wants every area of our lives to be made new in Christ Jesus. In order for that to happen, several things need to take place. We need to be sexually educated. We live in a sexually saturated society, but unfortunately, much of the saturation isn’t positive, loving, or based on God’s ideas for human sexuality. Many people need a redo. We also need safe places with trustworthy people where our stories can be told. People need to be given permission to tell their stories to warm, loving individuals who will listen and not judge. The telling and retelling of significant stories allows our brains to make sense of, heal, and form a new ending to what may have been a very bad beginning. WHY TELL A STORY? Stories help us lower our defenses. Sometimes just the topic of sexuality can put our nervous system on high alert, depending on how we were raised, and what our early experiences were like. For example: If you were shamed for playing doctor, which is about childhood curiosity and signals to the parents the child needs more information about bodies and sexuality, shame can quickly become paired with sexual feelings. Again, we are all sexual creatures with a sexual nervous system and if we are exposed to sexual stimuli, our bodies will respond. We aren’t dreadful sinners, it’s just the way we are wired. It’s how God made us. When we can accept our sexuality as a natural part of who we are, we can accept ourselves and begin to rewire the broken parts. I do believe God wants to help us connect our sexuality to our spirituality, and we can invite Him to be our teacher, guide, and helper. Sadly, because of shame, too many people hide their sexual selves from the eyes of the Creator instead of asking Him for help. We haven’t strayed far from our original parents; Adam and Eve taught us well how to hide because we are afraid and because we feel naked (vulnerable) and ashamed. But great sex is the fruit of doing the hard work, the soul work required to become a truly healthy self. The more you open your heart and invite the healing process in, the more likely you are to become and embrace the sexual creature you are. Willingly opening up your heart and mind to healing opens up new possibilities to play, explore, and have fun together sexually.

• From Love & Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy (2018)

  There can be financial losses, and when the wife brings up a problem it somehow gets shifted back onto her. This is painful for the wife. I have worked with so many women who are in what I refer to as trauma brain after finding out about her husband’s activities. The wife will need to break through her own denial structure. I spoke with a wife of a sex addict the day before writing this and she said, “After twenty years I am done doing CPR on this marriage. All of these years I thought there was something wrong with me because my husband has never wanted me sexually. I held this carrot out, thinking if I lost twenty pounds, then he would want me. I didn’t understand that his lack of desire for me had nothing to do with me. It had everything to do with his addiction. I love him, but I am done treating him like he is fragile, making excuses, covering for him, and taking all of the blame for our lack of emotional and sexual connection.” I was so proud of her; she was breaking through her denial and delusion structure. It takes a lot of courage to break through and most likely a woman will need support to do so. One side note, males aren’t the only sex addicts. Females are suffering from the same disease. (If you are a male, married to a female addict, this applies to you as well.) HEALTHY SELF Not only do the spouses of addicts need support systems in place for their healing work to begin, but they also need to focus on becoming the healthiest possible version of themselves through self-differentiation. The truth is, we all grow up in some dysfunction, and all of us are raised by two imperfect people. If you are a parent, you know what I am talking about. However, in order for us to truly “be adults” we have to first see ourselves as part of the whole equation. But we can’t stop there. Next, we must set our hearts on becoming all we can be—becoming our healthy selves—experiencing self-differentiation. So what does self-differentiation look like and how do we start on this important journey? I believe the first step of becoming a healthy self is realizing we are loved unconditionally by God and He has a purpose for our lives. Once we know we are on solid ground and His love has been integrated into the soil of our lives, we can begin to develop a healthy sense of who we are. It is vital to grow a healthy self, in order to have a healthy marriage and healthy relationships.

• From Blue Like Jazz (2003)

  I realized in an instant that I desired false gods because Jesus wouldn’t jump through my hoops, and I realized that, like Tony, my faith was about image and ego, not about practicing spirituality. For me, Trendy Writer coming to town was the beginning of something. It was the beginning of my authentic Christianity. Trendy Writer, Khwaja Khandir, and Tony the Beat Poet were the seeds of change. I knew Christ, but I was not a practicing Christian. I had the image of a spiritual person, but I was bowing down to the golden cows of religiosity and philosophy. It was one of those enlightenments, one of those honest looks in the mirror in which there is no forgetting who you are. It was a moment without make-believe. After that moment, things started to get interesting. 9 Change New Starts at Ancient Faith THERE IS A TIME WHEN EVERY PERSON WHO encounters Jesus, who believes Jesus is the Son of God, decides that they will spend their life following Him. Some people, like the Apostle Paul, make this decision the minute they meet Him, the minute they become a Christian. Others, like the Apostle Peter, endure years of half-hearted commitment and spiritual confusion before leaping in with all their passion. Still others may enjoy some benefits of God’s love and grace without entering into the true joy of a marriage with their maker. Not long after I graduated from high school, I found myself leading a college group at a large church just outside Houston. I cherished the role, at first, because it was a place of honor. I studied the Bible for hours, putting talks together that students enjoyed. It started as a substitute teaching job. The college minister couldn’t be there one week, so he asked me to fill in. When I was asked to speak again, I jumped at the chance like Homer Simpson at a donut. Pretty soon I was teaching all the time. I swam in the attention and the praise, I loved it, I lusted for it, I almost drowned in it. The more attention I got, the stranger I became. I was on my way to having my own religious television show. Okay, that’s a bit much, but you know what I mean. I was a smiler, a hand-shaker, a baby-kisser, a speech-giver. I said things like “God be with you,” and “Lord bless you.” I used clichés like a bad novelist. I led the college group for a couple of years and enjoyed it at first, but it wasn’t long before I felt like a phony. I got tired of myself. I didn’t like to hear my own voice because I sounded like a talk-show host. One afternoon I made an appointment with my pastor and told him I was leaving, that I was going into the world to get my thinking straight. “How long will you be gone?” he asked. “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Are you okay?” “I think so.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  Refutation of the Errors Quoted in the Last ChapterWE must remember that the enemies of poverty impugn, not only the teaching, but the life of our Lord. Christ has taught us both by word and example to observe poverty in all things. St. Paul tells us (2 Cor 8:9), “that being rich, He became poor for our sakes.” The Gloss, commenting on these words, says that “He took poverty upon Himself, although He did not lose His riches. Interiorly He was rich, exteriorly He was poor. He concealed the treasure of His Godhead, and revealed the poverty of His Manhood.” Hence those who follow Christ in poverty acquire great dignity, as we shall presently show. “Therefore (the Gloss concludes) let no one despise Him who, though poor in His dwelling, was rich in conscience. If we consider His life, from His first entry into the world, we shall see that He chose a poor maiden for His Mother, and willed to be needy and in want, and to have for His birthplace the poorest of poor cities. The stable is a monument of His poverty, as we are reminded in a certain address delivered at one of the synods of the Council of Ephesus.” “See (we quote part of this address) the most humble dwelling of Him who enriches Heaven. A crib suffices Him who sits above the Cherubim; and He who has joined the sea to the dry land is Himself swathed in swaddling bands. Mark His poverty here below; consider the abundance of His riches above.” But if Christ, as St. Paul says, had not become poor for our sakes, not for His own, could He not have chosen a wealthy mother and might He not have been born in His own house? If the abnegation of earthly possessions is of no account in Christian perfection, why should our Lord have deprived Himself even of a home? Therefore, let the enemies of poverty blush and be silent, while the glory of this virtue radiates from the crib of Christ.

• From Love & Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy (2018)

  Kaycie was grateful for the interruption when the waiting-room door swung open. The familiar smile of her therapist shook her brain out of the negative rehearsal. She dumped her overloaded purse filled with baby wipes, crackers, and gummy bears at her feet and settled into the familiar sofa. Olivia’s smile always calmed her and reassured Kaycie she wasn’t some hopeless freak. “Kaycie, where would you like to start today?” Kaycie took a deep breath and heard herself exhale before she said, “It’s not all James. The healthier he gets, the more I can see my own issues. I want to work on me. I have faced and grieved the one-night stand and the porn issues, but I think I need to take the focus off of James—it keeps me stuck in the past and avoiding my own issues. I need your help to move forward.” “Kaycie,” Olivia looked at her with a twinkle in her eye, “I have been hoping you would come to this place. You have done the hard work of facing the marital issues, and I am celebrating that you are ready to face your own. Besides, a healthy marriage consists of two individuals who are doing the hard work of healing their own souls. So let me ask, where would you like to start working on you?” Kaycie nervously clutched her hands in her lap, “Well, James and I have a theme with the students, “No secrets,” but to be honest, I have never shared with anyone my biggest secret. And I’m not sure I have told myself . . .” Kaycie stiffened as a red rash crept up her chest and onto her neck. “My senior year of high school, I had two youth pastors. One was incredible; he was round-faced with a warm, dimpled smile. He adored his wife and four little boys. He was completely dedicated to the youth group. He loved God and really wanted the best for all of us. I trusted him.” Olivia nodded and leaned in knowing there was more.

• From Heptaméron (1559)

  The rest of the night was spent by the discomfited gallant in such reflections as these, mingled with tears^ groans, and wailings indescribable. In the morning he feigned illness, to conceal the mangled state of his coun- tenance, pretending all the while the company remained in the house that he could not endure the light. The lady, who was convinced that there was no one at the court capable of so audacious an act except the man who had the boldness to declare his love to her, searched the chamber with the lady of honour; but not finding a pas- sage through which anyone could have entered, she broke into a towering passion. " Be assured," she said to the lady of honour, " that the lord of this mansion is the man, and that I will make such a report to-morrow morning to my brother that the culprit's head shall bear witness to my chastity." "I am delighted, madam," said her wary attendant, who saw what a transport of rage she was in — " I am delighted that honour is so precious in your eyes that, for its sake, you would not spare the life of a man who has put it in jeopardy through excess of love. But in this, as in every other matter, one may fall backwards when thinking to advance. Therefore, tell me, madam, the plain truth. Has he had anything of you .'' " " Nothing, I do assure you," replied the princess, '' besides scratches and cuffs ; and unless he has found a very clever surgeon, I am sure he will show the marks cf them to-morrow." " That being the case, madam, it strikes me you ought rather to praise God than think of vengeance First day.\ QUEEN OF NA VARRE. 3g

• From Buddenbrooks: The Decline of a Family (1901)

  But he was called upon to express this thought, to consider it, to think of it at all? Was he able to imagine his father, his grandfather, any of his fellow citizens pondering and expressing this thought? A man who stands firmly and unequivocally in his calling knows only this, knows only about this, appreciates only this... Suddenly he felt his blood rush to his head, blushing at a second memory from further back. He saw himself walking around with his brother Christian in the garden of the Mengstrasse house, caught up in an argument, one of those deeply regrettable, agitated arguments … Christian had, in his indiscreet and compromising Art, made a slovenly statement in front of many ears, about which he, furious, indignant, extremely irritated, had confronted him. Actually, Christian had said, basically every businessman is a swindler... How? was this insipid and baseless way of speaking so far removed in essence from what he had just allowed himself to say to his sister? He had been indignant about it, had protested in a rage… But what had that clever little Tony said? Who gets excited... "No!" said the senator suddenly in a loud voice, jerked his head up, dropped the window handle, practically pushed away and said just as loudly: "This is over!" Then he cleared his throat to complain about the unpleasant Getting over the sensation his own lonely voice was causing him, turned and began pacing back and forth through all the rooms, head bowed quickly, hands behind his back. "This is over!" he repeated. 'It must come to an end! I'm wasting, I'm getting bogged down, I'm getting sillier than Christian!' Oh, it was infinitely thankful that he wasn't in ignorance of how things were with him! It was now in his hands to correct himself! By force!... Let's see... let's see... what was the offer that had been made to him? The harvest… The Pöppenrader harvest on the stalk? "I'll do it!" he said in a passionate whisper, even shaking a hand outstretched index finger. "I will do it!" Wasn't it what you call a coup? An opportunity to quite simply - and to put it a little exaggeratedly - double a capital of, say, forty thousand Kurantmarks?... Yes, it was a pointer, a nod to get up! It was a start, a first blow, and the risk involved was just one more refutation of all moral scruples. If it succeeded, then he was restored, then he would dare again, then he would hold the fortune and power again with those inner elastic clamps... No, unfortunately this catch would elude Messrs. Strunck & Hagenström! There was a local company that in this case had the upper hand because of personal connections!... In fact, the personal was the decisive factor here. It was no ordinary business, done coolly and in the usual manner.

• From Blue Like Jazz (2003)

  We probably didn’t need the timer plug in the first place. I could probably have plugged the lamp into the regular socket and been fine. But when I saw the timer plug at Fred Meyer last week, I stood there looking at it, having come across it by accident, and I realized how very much I needed it. And it was only seven dollars. I need this for seven dollars, I thought to myself, this is very important. I put it into my basket and walked off, wondering what it was that I needed to plug into it. That, of course, is now obvious: the lamp in the upstairs den. I got the timer plug home and programmed it without reading the instructions, then I went to plug the lamp in but the lamp was too far from the outlet. I could not move the lamp closer without ruining the Feng Shui. I have this fruit nut friend who says Feng Shui is very important, that a room should be balanced so that you feel balanced when you are in it. I put the lamp closer to the outlet, and my fruit nut friend was right because I felt very unbalanced. So I would need an extension cord to go with the timer plug. I only say all this to show you that I have a problem with buying things I really don’t need. I saw this documentary about the brain that says habits are formed when the “pleasure center” of the brain lights up as we do a certain behavior. The documentary said that some people’s pleasure centers light up when they buy things. I wondered if my pleasure center did that. Penny thinks I am terrible with the little money I have. I was talking to her the other night, and I mentioned that I was interested in buying a remote control car, and she just sort of sat there and didn’t say anything. Penny, are you there? I asked. Yes, she said. What? I asked. Are you serious, Don? Are you going to waste perfectly good money on a remote control car? “Well . . . uh,” I said. “Well . . . uh . . . Miller, that would be a pretty dumb thing to do when there are children starving in India!” she told me. I hate it when Penny does this. Honestly, it can be so annoying. She lives it though. She didn’t buy clothes for an entire year, her senior year at Reed, because she felt like she was irresponsible with money. She always looked very beautiful anyway, and for her birthday I bought her some mittens at Saturday Market for seven dollars. She wore them like they were from Tiffany’s or something. She always talked about them. They weren’t that big of a deal, but she hadn’t had any new clothes for a year so I think she wore them while she was sleeping or something.

• From The Principles of Psychology (Volume 1 of 2) (1890)

  No, it is no such pure principle, it is simply my total empirical selfhood again, my historic Me, a collection of objective facts, to which the depreciated image in your mind 'belongs.' In what capacity is it that I claim and demand a respectful greeting from you instead of this expression of disdain? It is not as being a bare I that I claim it; it is as being an I who has always been treated with respect, who belongs to a certain family and 'set,' who has certain powers, possessions, and public functions, sensibilities, duties, and purposes, and merits and deserts. All this is what your disdain negates and contradicts; this is 'the thing inside of me' whose changed treatment I feel the shame about; this is what was lusty, and now, in consequence of your conduct, is collapsed; and this certainly is an empirical objective thing. Indeed, the thing that is felt modified and changed for the worse during my feeling of shame is often more concrete even than this,—it is simply my bodily person, in which your conduct immediately and without any reflection at all on my part works those muscular, glandular, and vascular changes which together make up the 'expression' of shame. In this instinctive, reflex sort of shame, the body is just as much the entire vehicle of the self-feeling as, in the coarser cases which we first took up, it was the vehicle of the self-seeking. As, in simple 'hoggishness,' a succulent morsel gives rise, by the reflex mechanism, to behavior which the bystanders find 'greedy,' and consider to flow from a certain sort of 'self-regard;' so here your disdain gives rise, by a mechanism quite as reflex and immediate, to another sort of behavior, which the bystanders call 'shame-faced' and which they consider due to another kind of self-regard. But in both cases there may be no particular self regarded at all by the mind; and the name self-regard may be only a descriptive title imposed from without the reflex acts themselves, and the feelings that immediately result from their discharge. After the bodily and social selves come the spiritual. But which of my spiritual selves do I really care for? My Soul-substance? my 'transcendental Ego, or Thinker'? my pronoun I? my subjectivity as such? my nucleus of cephalic adjustments? or my more phenomenal and perishable powers, my loves and hates, willingnesses and sensibilities, and the like? Surely the latter. But they, relatively to the central principle, whatever it may be, are external and objective. They come and go, and it remains—"so shakes the magnet, and so stands the pole." It may indeed have to be there for them to be loved, but being there is not identical with being loved itself. To sum up, then, we see no reason to suppose that self-love' is primarily, or secondarily, or ever, love for one's mere principle of conscious identity .

• From New Testament Words (1964)

  (ii) But also, it was God’s Holy Spirit in his heart which enabled a man to recognize God’s truth when he heard it. The Jews believed that the Holy Spirit of God operated from without to bring men truth; and from within to enable them to recognize truth. The Holy Spirit was at once, to them, the revealer and the touchstone of truth. So when Paul uses the word arrabōn of the Holy Spirit the thought in his mind is that the imperfect knowledge that men now possess is the first instalment of the full knowledge they will one day possess; that which God has told them now is the pledge and guarantee that he will some day tell them all; that the joy that comes to a man now in the Spirit is the pledge of the perfect joy of heaven. The Holy Spirit to Paul is the guarantee of God that, though now we see through a glass darkly, we shall some day see face to face; and that, though now we only know in part, we shall some day know even as we are known (I Cor. 13.12). ASELGEIA THE UTTER SHAMELESSNESS In many ways aselgeia is the ugliest word in the list of NT sins. It occurs quite frequently (Mark 7.22; II Cor. 12.21; Gal. 5.19; Eph. 4.19; I Pet. 4.3; Jude 4; Rom. 13.13; II Pet. 2.2, 7, 18). The AV varies between ‘lasciviousness’ and ‘wantonness’. The RSV consistently prefers ‘licentiousness’. Moffatt regularly translates it ‘sensuality’. To some extent all these translations fail to give the one essential characteristic of aselgeia. Let us look first at some of the classical and Christian definitions of it. It is used by Plato in the sense of ‘impudence’. It is defined by a late writer as ‘preparedness for every pleasure’. It is defined as ‘violence coupled with insult and audacity’. It is defined by Basil as ‘a disposition of the soul which does not possess and cannot bear the pain of discipline’. It is described as ‘the spirit which knows no restraints and which dares whatever caprice and wanton insolence suggest’. It is Lightfoot who seizes on the essential quality in aselgeia. He says that a man may be ‘unclean’ (akathartos) and hide his sin, but the man who is aselgēs (the adjective) shocks public decency. Here is the very essence of aselgeia; the man in whose soul aselgeia dwells is so much in the grip of sin, so much under its domination, that he does not care what people say or think so long as he can gratify his evil desire. He is the man who is lost to shame.

• From Blue Like Jazz (2003)

  I was living in a cabin in the Rockies with about seven other guys, and the whole lot of us fell into this militant Christianity that says you should live like a Navy SEAL for Jesus. I am absolutely ashamed to admit this now. We would fast all the time, pray together twice each day, memorize Scripture, pat each other on the back and that sort of thing. Summer was coming to a close, and we were getting pretty proud of ourselves because we had read a great deal of Scripture and hadn’t gotten anybody pregnant. We were concerned, however, about what to do after we split up, thinking that if we didn’t have each other we’d fall apart and start selling drugs to children. One of us, and it was probably me, decided to create a contract that listed things we wouldn’t do for an entire year, like watch television or smoke pipes or listen to music. It was the constitution of our self-righteous individualism. The contract stated we would read the Bible every day, pray, and memorize certain long passages of Scripture. We sat around one night with pen and paper and offered sacrifices, each of us trying to outman the other with bigger and brighter lambs for the slaughter. We were the direct opposite of a frat house; instead of funneling our testosterone into binge drinking and rowdy parties, we were manning up to Jesus, bumping Him chest to chest as it were, like Bible salesmen on steroids. I hitched a ride back to Oregon and got an apartment in the suburbs where I didn’t know anybody and nobody knew me. I had this necklace on my neck, this string of beads, each bead representing one of the guys in the contract, and a cross in the center, a reminder that we had all gone in on this thing, that we were going to be monks for a year. At first it was easy, living in a new place and all, a new city, but after a while that necklace started to choke me. The first of the exploits to go was the Bible. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to read it or didn’t agree with it, I would just forget. It sat on the floor next to my bed beneath a pile of dirty clothes. Out of sight, out of mind. I’d forget about it for a month until I cleaned my room, and then I’d lift up a pile of dirty clothes and there would be my Bible, staring up at me like a dead pet. One evening I was walking around Pioneer Square in down-town Portland when I noticed a pipe and tobacco store across the street. I decided I’d step inside and take a look-see. I came out with a new pipe that I swore I wouldn’t smoke till the year was up. It was a good deal, you know, about fifteen dollars or something.

• From Blue Like Jazz (2003)

  For the first time I saw them as people, and I could sense God’s love for them. I had been living with God’s prized possessions, His children, the dear ones to Him, and had considered them a bother to this earth that was mine, this space and time that were mine. [image "9780785263708_0196_006" file=Image00077.jpg] In the short year at Graceland I hurt all the guys at one time or another. Fixing the carnage would take time. I had to make things right with each of them. I had really messed things up. Jeremy, the guy with the marine haircut who was going to become a cop, couldn’t stand me. I had run my car through the garage door one night and neglected to fix it. Jeremy parked his motorcycle in the garage and so he had to use the broken door every day. My room was directly above the garage, so when Jeremy went to work in the morning at five o’clock, he would start his motorcycle engine, and it sounded like somebody was starting a lawn mower next to my bed. I would get furious, and later that night I would ask him if there was something we could do. He said no, that was where he needed to keep his motorcycle. And that was true. So, every time Jeremy had trouble getting the broken door up and down, he would get mad at me, and every time he started his motorcycle at 5:00 a.m., I would get mad at him. The issue, of course, was not about the motorcycle or the door; the issue was about whether or not we respected each other, whether or not we liked each other. One evening I was down in the basement talking to Tuck while he was working out. I decided to do some laundry while I was down there, but somebody’s clothes were in the dryer. There was no place to put them so I put them on the floor. I didn’t think anything of it, you know, because the floor was pretty clean, but it turned out the clothes were Jeremy’s and, later that night, when he got home, he wrote a note on our white board to the person who had thrown his clothes on the floor. I didn’t actually throw them on the floor, I just sort of set them there, but still, he was pretty heated. I told him it was me, and I apologized. He had to go for a walk he was so mad. It was the last straw for him. When he came back I asked him if we could talk. I told him it was time we dealt with it. He kept wanting to walk away from the conversation because he was so mad, but I wouldn’t let him. I was ready to apologize.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  On the part of sin, there are two things which may withdraw man therefrom: one is the inordinateness and shamefulness of the act, the consideration of which is wont to arouse man to repentance for the sin he has committed, and against this there is “impenitence,” not as denoting permanence in sin until death, in which sense it was taken above (for thus it would not be a special sin, but a circumstance of sin), but as denoting the purpose of not repenting. The other thing is the smallness or brevity of the good which is sought in sin, according to Rom. 6:21: “What fruit had you therefore then in those things, of which you are now ashamed?” The consideration of this is wont to prevent man’s will from being hardened in sin, and this is removed by “obstinacy,” whereby man hardens his purpose by clinging to sin. Of these two it is written (Jer. 8:6): “There is none that doth penance for his sin, saying: What have I done?” as regards the first; and, “They are all turned to their own course, as a horse rushing to the battle,” as regards the second. Reply to Objection 1: The sins of despair and presumption consist, not in disbelieving in God’s justice and mercy, but in contemning them. Reply to Objection 2: Obstinacy and impenitence differ not only in respect of past and future time, but also in respect of certain formal aspects by reason of the diverse consideration of those things which may be considered in sin, as explained above. Reply to Objection 3: Grace and truth were the work of Christ through the gifts of the Holy Ghost which He gave to men. Reply to Objection 4: To refuse to obey belongs to obstinacy, while a feigned repentance belongs to impenitence, and schism to the envy of a brother’s spiritual good, whereby the members of the Church are united together. Whether the sin against the Holy Ghost can be forgiven?Objection 1: It would seem that the sin against the Holy Ghost can be forgiven. For Augustine says (De Verb. Dom., Serm. lxxi): “We should despair of no man, so long as Our Lord’s patience brings him back to repentance.” But if any sin cannot be forgiven, it would be possible to despair of some sinners. Therefore the sin against the Holy Ghost can be forgiven. Objection 2: Further, no sin is forgiven, except through the soul being healed by God. But “no disease is incurable to an all-powerful physician,” as a gloss says on Ps. 102:3, “Who healeth all thy diseases.” Therefore the sin against the Holy Ghost can be forgiven.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  JEROME. Also, by this which this servant dared to say, Thou, reapest where thou sowedst not, we understand that the Lord accepts the good life of the Gentiles and of the Philosophers. GREGORY. (ubi sup.) But there are many within the Church of whom this servant is a type, who fear to set out on the path of a better life, and yet are not afraid to continue in carnal indolence; they esteem themselves sinners, and therefore tremble to take up the paths of holiness, but fearlessly remain in their own iniquities. HILARY. Or, By this servant is understood the Jewish people which continues in the Law, and says I was afraid of thee, as through fear of the old commandments abstaining from the exercise of evangelical liberty; and it says, Lo, there is that is thine, as though it had continued in those things which the Lord commanded, when yet it knew that the fruits of righteousness should be reaped there, where the Law had not been sown, and that there should be gathered from among the Gentiles some who were not scattered of the seed of Abraham. JEROME. But what he thought would be his excuse is turned into his condemnation. He calls him wicked servant, because he cavilled against his Lord; and slothful, because he would not double his talent; condemning his pride in the one, and his idleness in the other. If you knew me to be hard and austere, and to seek after other men’s goods, you should also have known that I exact with the more rigour that is mine own, and should have given my money to the bankers; for the Greek word here (ἀζγύριον) means money. The words of the Lord are pure words, silver tried in the fire. (Ps. 12:6.) The money, or silver, then are the preaching of the Gospel and the heavenly word; which ought to be given to the bankers, that is, either to the other doctors, which the Apostles did when they ordained Priests and Bishops throughout the cities; or to all the believers, who can double the sum and restore it with usury by fulfilling in act what they have learned in word. GREGORY. (Hom. in Ev. ix. 4.) So then we see as well the peril of the teachers if they withhold the Lord’s money, as that of the hearers from whom is exacted with usury that they have heard, namely, that from what they have heard they should strive to understand that they have not heard. ORIGEN. The Lord did not allow that He was a hard man as the servant supposed, but He assented to all his other words. But He is indeed hard to those who abuse the mercy of God to suffer themselves to become remiss, and use it not to be converted.