Shame

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

Page 175 of 267 · 20 per page

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  1. The fact that false prophets make use of sheep’s clothing to deceive the faithful is rather in favour of the habit of wearing poor clothing than against it. For hypocrites would not thus disguise their malice, unless a contemptible garb carried with it an appearance of good. Otherwise the Scriptures which, as we are told (2 Pet. iii.), that heretics abuse, ought to be reprobated. The same might be said of piety, which heretics often pretend (2 Tim. iii.). Hence the Gloss says, on St. Matt. vii, that false prophets are recognised not by their garments, but by their works. Again, the Gloss adds that sheep should not lay aside their clothing, even though, at times wolves may assume it as a disguise. 2. The devil would not clothe his emissaries in a religious habit if this habit were not, in itself a token of goodness. But this is no reason why virtuous persons should not wear the religious habit; nor is it a reason why all who wear it should be accounted wicked (Gloss on Matt, vii). Hence St. Jerome asks in his book against Helvidius, “Does the fact that it is sinful to pretend to be a virgin, make virginity itself a crime?” 3. The prohibition, quoted in this objection was not published because poverty of clothing is in itself reprehensible, but because it is assumed by some men or the purposes of deception. 4. The quotation of St. Augustine, cited in this objection, applies, only, to such rigour of life as causes dissension amongst those with whom we have to live. For, if it be understood absolutely, everyone who fasts when others do not fast would deserve blame. This idea is, of course, absurd. 5. The words here quoted from St. Jerome apply not to the use, but to the abuse, of a poor and lowly garb. He utters a warning against the vainglory which may arise from such a custom. In his epistles to the monk Rusticus, and to the nobleman Pammachius, he commends poverty and humility of clothing. This is evident from his epistle to Pammachius on the death of Paulina. 6. The use of exterior things may be regarded from a double point of view. Their use is indifferent if we consider the nature of the things themselves. If, however, we regard the end for which we use them, their use is commendable in proportion to the excellence of that end. For example, fasting practised as a means of overcoming lust is more commendable than the eating of ordinary food with giving of thanks. Jovinian denied this proposition; but he was refuted in this and in his other errors by St. Jerome. Hence poverty of clothing, when it is intended as humiliation for the soul and as a conquest over the body, is in itself more to be commended than ordinary clothing. Consequently, as religion is evidenced by fasting, so, on the same grounds, is it seen in humility of attire.

• From The Swimming-Pool Library (1988)

  ‘Good God no. There’s so much, it rather puts one off. And then he’s so frightfully keen about it himself, and regards it all as a big treat for me. I’ve got to try and be honest about it.’ James looked at me sceptically. ‘You must show me the bit about R.F.,’ he said. ‘Yes, that is good. Parts of it are—he must have put a lot of care into it. There are some rather Bridesheady bits about Oxford—though somewhat more candid than that deplorable novel. They would be good in a book. But a lot of the stuff in the Sudan is very routine—and he has this trying kind of nature-worship thing about blacks. He has only to see the back of a black hand or the curl of a black lip and he’s off.’ ‘I thought you were rather the same.’ ‘Well, up to a point—but I don’t go writing about it in this secret, religious kind of way. There’s no indication that old Charlie ever actually got it together with any of these tribesmen, bearers, and so on.’ ‘I think you’re going to have to brush up on one or two things, dear. I mean, you could hardly have the District Commissioner riding round on his camel rogering the subject people, could you? I know that’s what you would have done, but it would really have been rather frowned on in the Political Service.’ I smiled in gap-toothed, humorous shame. ‘I haven’t been very systematic about it,’ I further confessed. ‘I’ve read bits here and there—just to see if I like it, if I think I can do it. The idea of writing a whole great big book—it’s too ghastly. Of course,’ I added, ‘I haven’t got everything here. The diaries stop, I think about 1950.’ ‘Does he still keep one, do you suppose?’ ‘I don’t know. He could do. He’s full of energy, even though he’s so old and not, strictly speaking, all there.’ ‘He’s probably writing about you now—the peaches and cream of your complexion—soon to be restored—the well-knit frame.’ I aimed a swipe at him with a cushion, and then clutched at my ribs. ‘The subject describing his biographer … It all gets rather complicated and modern,’ he said, frowning and getting up to go. As usual he had been a corrective, and when Phil turned up later he found me aloof with a volume of the diaries, and hardly interested in his anecdotes about Pino and the hotel lift, and how there was a gay couple staying who had made a pass at him. He unpacked some veal, some ripe peaches, some wine and more bread. He seemed to believe in bread in some literal way as the staff of life.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  REMIGIUS. Woe also to all who draw near to Christ’s table with an evil and defiled conscience! who though they do not deliver Christ to the Jews to be crucified, deliver Him to their own sinful members to be taken. He adds, to give more emphasis, Good were it for that man if he had never been born. JEROME. We are not to infer from this that man has a being before birth; for it cannot be well with any man till he has a being; it simply implies that it is better not to be, than to be in evil. AUGUSTINE. (Quæst. Ev. i. 40.) And if it be contended that there is a life before this life, that will prove that not only not for Judas, but for none other is it good to have been born. Can it mean, that it were better for him not to have been born to the Devil, namely, for sin? Or does it mean that it had been good for him not to have been born to Christ at his calling, that he should now become apostate? ORIGEN. After all the Apostles had asked, and after Christ had spoken of him, Judas at length enquired of himself, with the crafty design of concealing his treacherous purpose by asking the same question as the rest; for real sorrow brooks not suspense. JEROME. His question feigns either great respect, or a hypocritical incredulousness. The rest who were not to betray Him, said only Lord; the actual traitor addresses Him as Master, as though it were some excuse that he denied Him as Lord, and betrayed a Master only. ORIGEN. Or, out of sycophancy he calls Him Master, while he holds Him unworthy of the title. CHRYSOSTOM. Though the Lord could have said, Hast thou covenanted to receive silver, and darest to ask Me this? But Jesus, most merciful, said nothing of all this, therein laying down for us rules and landmarks of endurance of evil. He saith unto him, Thou hast said. REMIGIUS. Which may be understood thus; Thou sayest it, and thou sayest what is true; or, Thou hast said this, not I; leaving him room for repentance so long as his villainy was not publicly exposed. RABANUS. This might have been so said by Judas, and answered by the Lord as not to be overheard by the rest. 26:2626. And as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the disciples, and said, Take, eat; this is my body. JEROME. When the typical Passover was concluded, and He had partaken of the Lamb with His Apostles, He comes to the true paschal sacrament; that, as Melchisedech, Priest of the most high God, had done in foreshadowing Christ, offering bread and wine (Gen. 14:18.), He also should offer the present verity of His Body and Bloodc.

• From New Testament Words (1964)

  The adjective sklēros can be used, for instance, of a stone which is specially hard for masons to work; it can be used metaphorically of a king who is inhuman and hard in his treatment of his subjects. Sin hardens the heart. In Phil. 1.9 Paul prays that the Philippians may abound in what he calls aisthēsis, which is ‘sensitive perception’. It is the quality of heart and mind which is sensitive to that which is wrong. It is the experience of life that the first time a man commits a wrong action he does so with a kind of shuddering reluctance; if he does it twice he does it more easily; if he goes on doing it he will end by doing it without thinking at all. His sensitiveness to sin is gone; his heart is hardened. It is indeed true that the most awful thing about sin is exactly its power to beget sin. (ii) Sin results in ‘death’ (Rom. 5.12, 21; 6.16; 6.23; James 1.15). This is doubly so. It was Paul’s belief that it was because of Adam’s sin that death entered into the world. Sin is that which wrecked and ruined the life that God had planned for man. But it is also true that death results in the death of the soul. Physical death and spiritual death are to Paul both the result of sin. One of the best ways of discovering the real meaning of any word is to examine the company it keeps. A word’s meaning, and its inward flavour, will best be found by examining the words in whose company it is usually found. Let us, then, examine the words with which hamartia is found in the NT. (i) Hamartia is connected with blasphēmia (Matt. 12.31). The basic meaning of blasphēmia is insult. Sin is then ‘an insult’ to God. It insults God by flouting his commandments, by putting self in the place which he ought to occupy, and above all, by grieving his love. (ii) Hamartia is connected with apatē (Heb. 3.13). A patē is ‘deceit’. Sin is always a deceitful thing, in that it promises to do that which it cannot do. Sin is always a lie. Any man who sins, who does the forbidden thing or who takes the forbidden thing, does so because he thinks that he will be happier for doing or taking that thing. Sin deceives him into thinking so. But the plain fact of experience is that an act or a possession which is the result of sin never brought happiness to any man. Long ago, Epicurus, with his strictly utilitarian morality, pointed out that sin can never bring happiness, because, apart from anything else, it leaves a man with the constant fear of being found out.

• From Blue Like Jazz (2003)

  The first of the exploits to go was the Bible. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to read it or didn’t agree with it, I would just forget. It sat on the floor next to my bed beneath a pile of dirty clothes. Out of sight, out of mind. I’d forget about it for a month until I cleaned my room, and then I’d lift up a pile of dirty clothes and there would be my Bible, staring up at me like a dead pet. One evening I was walking around Pioneer Square in down-town Portland when I noticed a pipe and tobacco store across the street. I decided I’d step inside and take a look-see. I came out with a new pipe that I swore I wouldn’t smoke till the year was up. It was a good deal, you know, about fifteen dollars or something. I couldn’t pass up the sale on tobacco, either, even though it would go bad before the contract expired. I sat down in Pioneer Square with the skateboarders and musicians, chess players and coffee drinkers. I decided to pack my pipe, just to get a feel for it. I stuck it in my mouth to bring back that sensation, the feel of the stem between my teeth. Then I lit it. Then I smoked it. After the Bible and the pipe thing fell apart, I decided to yield a bit on the television aspect of the contract. There was this indie pizza place down the street from my apartment, Escape from New York Pizza or something like that, and they had a big-screen television. I’d go down and watch Monday night football, which was a double sin because on Mondays we were supposed to be fasting. I figured none of the guys would mind if I switched the fasting day to Wednesday, just to shuffle things around. I shuffled so many fasting days around that after three months I was supposed to go twelve days without eating. I think I fasted twice that year. Maybe. I hated the entire year. Hated it. I felt like a failure every morning. I hated looking in the mirror because I was a flop. I got ticked at all the people who were having fun with their lives. I’d walk home from the pizza place feeling criminal for my mischief, feeling as though I were not cut out to be a Christian, wondering what my punishment would be for disobeying God. Everything was failing. I’d get letters from the other guys, too, some of them doing quite well. I wouldn’t answer them. Not only was I failing God, I was failing my fundamentalist brothers!

• From Heptaméron (1559)

  If ever a man was utterly confounded and horrified, it was the poor husband. It was bad enough to think that he had forsaken his wife, who was fair, chaste, and virtuous, and overflowing with affection for him, for a woman who did not love him ; but it was infinitely worse when he represented to himself that he had been so un- lucky as to make her quit the path of virtue, in spite of herself and without knowing it, to share with another the pleasures which should have been his alone, and to have forged for himself the horns of perpetual mockery. Seeing, however, that his wife was already angry enough about his intended intrigue with the servant, he did not dare to tell her of the villainous trick he had played upon herself. He implored her pardon, promised to make amends for the past by the strictest propriety of conduct in future, and gave her back her ring, which he had taken from his friend, whom he begged not to say a word of what had happened. But as everything whispered in the eg THE HEPTAMEKON OF THE lN(n'd%. ear is by-and-by proclaimed from the house-top, the ad- venture became public at last, and people called him a cuckold, without any regard for his wife's feelings.* It strikes me, ladies, that if all those who have been guilty of similar infidelity to their wives were punished in the same way, Hircan and Saffredent would have great cause to fear. " Why, Longarine ? " said Saffredent. " Are Hircan and I the only married men in the company } " " You are not the only married men," she replied. " but you are the only ones capable of playing such a trick." " Who told you," returned Saffredent, " that we have sought to debauch our wives* servant-maids } "' " If those who are interested in the matter," she an- swered, "were to speak the truth, we should certainly hear of servant-maids dismissed before their time." "This is pleasant, truly," observed Geburon ; "you promised to make the company laugh, and instead of that you vex these gentlemen." " It comes to the same thing," replied Longarine. "Provided they do not draw their swords, their anger will not fail to make us laugh." " If our wives were to listen to this lady," said Hircan, " there is not a married couple in the company but she would set at variance." " Nay," said Longarine, " I know before whom I speak. Your wives are so prudent, and love you so much, that though you were to make them bear horns as big as those of a deer, they would believe, and try to make others believe, that they were chaplets of roses." * This tale is taken from the fabliau of Le Meunier d'Alens, and also occurs in the facetis of Poggio, in Sacchetti, and in the Cent Nouvelles A^oitvelles.

• From Heptaméron (1559)

  " Fair niece, fair niece," rejoined the duchess, with execrable spite, " there is no love so secret as not to be known, nor any little dog so well trained as not to be heard to bark." I leave you to imagine the anguish of poor Madame du Verger at finding that an affair she had thought so secret was published to her shame. The thought of her honour, so carefully guarded, and so unhappily lost, was torture to her ; but the worst was her fear that her lover had broken his word to her, which she did not believe he could ever have done unless he loved some fairer lady, and in doting fondness had suffered her to extort the secret from him. However, she had so much self- command that she did not let her emotion be seen, but laughingly replied that she did not understand the lan- guage of brutes. But her heart was so wrung with grief that she rose, and, passing through the duchess's chamber, entered a garderobe in sight of the duke, who was walking about. Thinking herself alone, she threw herself on a bed. A demoiselle, who had sat down beside it to sleep, roused herself and peeped through the curtains to see who it might be, and perceiving it was the duke's niece, who thought herself alone, she 536 THE HEPTAMERON OF THE [Havel 70 durst not speak, but remained as still as possible to listen, whilst the poor lady in a dying voice thus began her lamentation :

• From Love & Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy (2018)

  “People think I’m some sort of hero because I’m the captain of the football team, because I’m a Christian, and I try to walk out what my parents taught me. But man, I blew it with Grace. She called me last week and said she is pregnant. I feel like such a jerk. How could I have done this to her? She is the sweetest girl in the world and I was taught it is my responsibility to protect her. I haven’t told my family. They are going to be so disappointed in me. I am their oldest kid. I have always tried to do the right thing, and now I haven’t.” James turned to Jason and asked, “Hey, buddy, I hurt with you, and I can only imagine how surprised you are. I get it. But I have to ask you. Did you force yourself on her or was it mutual?” “No, man, I would never do that. It was totally mutual. We both wanted each other. I just feel terrible, because I let her and everyone else down. I guess I have prided myself in being a perfect Christian. And truth is, I’m not. I think my pride has tripped me up, and I believed I was above doing something like this.” “Jason, what are you feeling?” Ted asked. “I feel ashamed of myself.” “Kevin, how do you feel about Jason?” Ted asked. Kevin turned to look at Jason, “I still think you are one of the best human beings I have ever met. You have been a true friend to me when I really needed a friend. Heck, I know you don’t have the issues I do, but you showed up here today to support us and you are the first one, besides Ted, to get real.” Jason said, “Thanks, Kevin.” Ted loved these young guys already. “Jason, what’s your biggest fear?” “Well, I have heard my pastor back home say, on more than one occasion, ‘If you have premarital sex you are messing up your chance to have a faithful marriage.’ He said something like, ‘If you have premarital sex’—I think he called it sneaking-around sex—‘you will never have fulfilling sex in your marriage. Once you taste sex fueled with the passion of doing something you shouldn’t be doing, married sex will be boring and you will most likely cheat on your spouse later in life.’ I have also heard that if you get pregnant before you get married, you are going to curse your kid or something. I’m terrified that I have messed everything up! I’m terrified that the marriage Grace and I have been dreaming of will never be the reality we hoped for and my mistake will be a curse to this poor kid we have created together. I can’t really think about anything else.”

• From Blue Like Jazz (2003)

  secures an Academy Award for both of them. I thought about acting out that scene with Diane, but it didn’t feel right so I let it go. “Yeah, I know,” I told her. “I know God loves me.” And I did know, I just didn’t believe. It was such crap, such psychobabble. I had heard it before, but hearing that stuff didn’t silence the voices. Still, there was something in Diane’s motherly eyes that said it was true and I needed that; I needed to believe it was true. I needed something to tell the voices when they started chanting at me. Diane and I talked for another half hour, and she ooohed and sighed and made me feel listened to. She was wonderful, and I never once felt stupid or weak for talking to her. I just felt honest and real and relieved. She said she would get me some literature and that she wanted to get together again soon. She said she would pray for me. When she left, I decided to start praying about all of this too. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t prayed about it before. It’s just that it never seemed like a spiritual problem. I prayed and asked God to help me figure out what was wrong with me. Things got worse with the girl. We would spend hours on the phone working through the math of our relationship, but nothing added up, which I received as only a sign of my incompetence, and this made me more sad than before. Then she did it; she decided we didn’t need to be in touch anymore. She broke it off. She sent me a letter saying that I didn’t love myself and could not receive love from her. There was nothing she could do about it, and it was killing her. I wandered around the house for an hour just looking at the blank walls, making coffee or cleaning the bathroom, not sure when my body was going to explode in sobs and tears. I was scrubbing the toilet when the voices began. I’d listened to them so often before, but on this day they were shouting. They were telling me that I was as disgusting as the urine on the wall around the toilet. And then the sentiment occurred. I am certain it was the voice of God because it was accompanied by such a strong epiphany like a movement in a symphony or something. The sentiment was simple: Love your neighbor as yourself. And I thought about that for a second and wondered why God would put that phrase so strongly in my mind. I thought about our neighbor Mark, who is tall and skinny and gay, and I wondered whether God was telling me I was gay, which was odd because I had never felt gay, but then it hit me that God was not telling me I was gay. He was saying I

• From Buddenbrooks: The Decline of a Family (1901)

  "You're being self-righteous... oh wait, that's not what I wanted to say, and that's not what I have to say against you... But I don't know where I'm supposed to start, and what I'll be able to say is only the thousandth... oh, It's just the millionth part of what's on my mind against you! You've won a place in life, an honored position, and there you stand, coldly and consciously rejecting anything that might momentarily upset you and upset your balance, because balance is the most important thing to you. But it's not the most important thing, Thomas, it's not the most important thing before God! You are an egoist, yes you are! I still love you when you scold and act and thunder. But the worst is your silence, the worst is when, on something that has been said, you suddenly stop and withdraw and refuse all responsibility, noble and intact, leaving the others helpless to their embarrassment... You are so without pity and Love and humility... Ah!' he cried suddenly, "I became what I am," he said at last, and his voice sounded moved, "because I didn't want to become like you. If I avoided you inside, it was because I had to beware of you, because of your being and essence is a danger to me... I speak the truth." He was silent for a moment, and then continued in a shorter and firmer tone: 'By the way, we have gone far from our subject. You gave me a speech about my character... a somewhat muddled speech that perhaps contained a kernel of truth. But it's not about me now, it's about you. You are thinking about marriage, and I want to convince you as thoroughly as possible that carrying it out in the way you are planning it is impossible. First, the interest I shall be able to pay you will not be of a very encouraging level..." »Aline has covered a lot.« The senator swallowed and controlled himself. “Hmm... put back. So you intend to mix Mother's inheritance with that lady's savings..." "Yes. I long for a home and for someone to take pity on me when I'm sick. By the way, we fit together quite well. We're both a bit lost..." “You also intend to adopt the existing children or to... legitimize them?” "Yes indeed." "So that after your death your property would pass to those people?" - When the senator said this, Mrs. Permaneder put her hand on his arm and whispered imploringly: "Thomas!... Mother is next door!..." "Yes," answered Christian, "that's how it should be." "Well, you wo n't do any of that!" the senator cried, jumping to his feet. Christian got up too, went behind his chair, took hold of it with one hand, pressed his chin on his chest and looked at his brother half shyly and half indignantly.

• From Buddenbrooks: The Decline of a Family (1901)

  He realized, he said, more and more that the Consul must act as he did, and that his father's memory should not be bad for him. He renounced his claims, all the more since he was disposed to retire from all business and settle down with his inheritance and what else he had left, for the linen business gave him little pleasure and went like that moderate that he will not make up his mind to put more into it ... "The defiance of his father has brought him no blessing!" thought the Consul with an inward, pious look; and Gotthold probably thought the same thing. and the memory of the father should not be bad for him. He renounced his claims, all the more since he was disposed to retire from all business and settle down with his inheritance and what else he had left, for the linen business gave him little pleasure and went like that moderate that he will not make up his mind to put more into it ... "The defiance of his father has brought him no blessing!" thought the Consul with an inward, pious look; and Gotthold probably thought the same thing. and the memory of the father should not be bad for him. He renounced his claims, all the more since he was disposed to retire from all business and settle down with his inheritance and what else he had left, for the linen business gave him little pleasure and went like that moderate that he will not make up his mind to put more into it ... "The defiance of his father has brought him no blessing!" thought the Consul with an inward, pious look; and Gotthold probably thought the same thing. that he would not make up his mind to put more into it... "The defiance of his father has brought him no blessing!" thought the Consul with an inward, pious look; and Gotthold probably thought the same thing. that he would not make up his mind to put more into it... "The defiance of his father has brought him no blessing!" thought the Consul with an inward, pious look; and Gotthold probably thought the same thing. In Mengstrasse, however, he accompanied his brother up to the breakfast room, where the two gentlemen were, after the long Standing shivering in the spring air in their tailcoats, drinking old cognac together. And when Gotthold had then exchanged a few polite and serious words with his sister-in-law and had stroked the children's heads, he went away to appear at the Krögers' garden house the next "Children's Day"... He was already beginning to liquidate.

• From Buddenbrooks: The Decline of a Family (1901)

  "You're a child, Tony!" he said despondently and pleadingly. "Every word you speak is childish! Now, if I ask you, will you not deign to look at things like an adult for a single moment?! Don't you realize that you are acting as if you had experienced something serious and difficult, as if your husband had betrayed you cruelly, heaped shame on you before the whole world!? But just consider that nothing happened! That nobody's soul knows anything about this silly occurrence on your ladder to heaven in Kaufingerstrasse! That you of your and our dignity It doesn't do any harm if you return to Permaneder calmly and at most with a somewhat mocking expression... on the contrary! that you are only damaging our dignity by not doing so, because only then will you make something out of this trifle, only then will you cause a scandal..." She quickly let go of her chin and looked into his face. 'Now shut up, Thomas! Now it's my turn! Now listen! How? is only the shame and scandal in life that gets loud and gets among the people? Oh no! The secret scandal that quietly eats away at you and eats away at your self-respect is far worse! Are we Buddenbrooks people who want to be 'tip-top' on the outside, as you always say here, and choke down humiliations between our four walls? Tom, I have to wonder about you! Imagine father, how he would behave today, and then judge in his sense! No, cleanliness and openness must prevail... You can show your books to the whole world every day and say: There... It can't be any different with any of us. I know how God made me. I'm not afraid at all! Just let Julchen Möllendorpf pass me by and don't greet me! of course both times it was up to the men!‹ I am so unspeakably exalted about it, Thomas! I know I did what I thought was good. But swallowing insults out of fear of Julchen Möllendorpf and Pfiffi Buddenbrook and being insulted in an uneducated beer dialect ... out of fear of them from a man, to endure in a city where I remember such words, such scenes as the one on the ladder to heaven , would have to get used to, where I would have to learn to deny myself and my origins and my upbringing and everything in me completely, just to appear happy and content - I call that unworthy, I call that scandalous, I want to tell you...!" She broke off, tipped her chin back in her hands, and stared excitedly at the window panes. He stood in front of her, leaning on one leg, his hands in his trouser pockets and let his eyes rest on her without seeing her, in thought, and slowly moving his head from side to side. 'Tony,' he said, 'you don't hurt mewhite.

• From The Swimming-Pool Library (1988)

  Charles half suppressed a burp of agreement. ‘There were a few seamen—they had a hostel out at Limehouse. I had some good friends there, brave, reckless fellows, many of them. There were jazz players in London, of course, who had quite a following. But I suppose most people in the country didn’t see a black person in all their lives. It was impossible to imagine the hatred that would be unleashed against them later on.’ ‘You’ve seen a lot of that.’ ‘You could say so.’ Charles nodded, staring fiercely at the carpet as if caught by some bitter and ironic memory. I started to speak but he cut across me: ‘There are times when I can’t think of my country without a kind of despairing shame. Something literally inexpressible, so I won’t bother to try and speechify about it.’ ‘I know what you mean.’ ‘Only last year out at Stepney there were hateful scenes—precisely hateful. Oh—National Front and their like, spraying their slogans all over the Boys’ Club, where, as you know, a lot of … non-whites go. Every day there were leaflets, just full of mindless hatred—I’m sorry to keep saying it. The horrific thing was that several of those boys were boys who used to come to the Club themselves. It’s the only time I’ve seen our excellent friend Bill get truly angry. He threw out a boy by main force, simply picked him up, carried him to the door and hurled him into the street. He’s as strong as an ox, old Bill. I remember the boy—but boy is too beautiful a word—had a Union Jack pinned to the back of his sort of coat, and Bill had torn it off, accidentally I think, as he ejected him, and was left scowling absolute thunder and holding it in his hand. I was very frightened as I’m not the man I was in a fight, but all being cowards in the bone these louts sidled away when they saw they had met their match. And I wondered to myself what on earth that flag could mean now.’ He paused, mouth agape. ‘We had an outstanding young Pakistani boy, a genius at badminton, who was horribly beaten up last winter—much worse even than you, knifed in the arm and also completely deafened in one ear. Those youngsters feel they have to go about in groups now. And then of course the police think they’re out to cause trouble.’ ‘Will it ever get better,’ I said, hardly as a question. Charles puffed helplessly. ‘I’m beginning to feel a kind of relief that I shan’t be around to find out.’ It was graceless of me to put Charles on the spot but I said I found it hard to reconcile his views on race with the film that Staines had made and he himself—according to Aldo—had paid for. But I did it with as much cheek and charm as possible. He was bemused.

• From Go Tell It on the Mountain (1953)

  She told herself that it was foolish and sinful to look backward when her safety lay before her, like a hiding-place hewn in the side of the mountain. ‘Sister,’ he asked one night, ‘don’t you reckon you ought to give your heart to the Lord?’ They were in the dark streets, walking to church. He had asked her this question before, but never in such a tone; she had never before felt so compelling a need to reply. ‘I reckon,’ she said. ‘If you call on the Lord,’ he said, ‘He’ll lift you up, He’ll give you your heart’s desire. I’m a witness,’ he said, and smiled at her, ‘you call on the Lord, you wait on the Lord, He’ll answer. God’s promises don’t never fail.’ Her arm was in his, and she felt him trembling with his passion. ‘Till you come,’ she said, in a low, trembling voice, ‘I didn’t never hardly go to church at all, Reverend. Look like I couldn’t see my way nohow—I was all bowed down with shame… and sin.’ She could hardly bring the last words out, and as she spoke tears were in her eyes. She had told him that John was nameless; and she had tried to tell him something of her suffering, too. In those days he had seemed to understand, and he had not stood in judgment on her. When had he so greatly changed? Or was it that he had not changed, but that her eyes had been opened through the pain he had caused her? ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I done come, and it was the hand of the Lord what sent me. He brought us together for a sign. You fall on your knees and see if that ain’t so—you fall down and ask Him to speak to you to-night.’ Yes, a sign, she thought, a sign of His mercy, a sign of His forgiveness. When they reached the church doors he paused, and looked at her and made his promise. ‘Sister Elizabeth,’ he said, ‘when you go down on your knees to-night, I want you to ask the Lord to speak to your heart, and tell you how to answer what I’m going to say.’ She stood a little below him, one foot lifted to the short, stone step that led to the church entrance, and looked up into his face. And looking into his face, which burned—in the dim, yellow light that hung about them there—like the face of a man who has wrestled with angels and demons and looked on the face of God, it came to her, oddly, and all at once, that she had become a woman. ‘Sister Elizabeth,’ he said, ‘the Lord’s been speaking to my heart, and I believe it’s His will that you and me should be man and wife.’ And he paused; she said nothing. His eyes moved over her body. ‘I know,’ he said, trying to smile, and in a lower voice, ‘I’ma lot older than you.

• From Love & Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy (2018)

  Shame kept her from moving forward. She realized now her shame had been paralyzing her. When she told James last night she compared herself to the porn stars and had body image issues, just telling him that somehow freed her up to pursue the healing she needed. Her trust had been broken. James betrayed her. She was lied to, manipulated, and years were stolen. Today she felt the courage to say enough. Whatever it took, even if it meant telling a group of women how bad things had become in her marriage—Kaycie no longer cared. DESPISING THE SHAME A day earlier, Kaycie found a moment without the boys and she opened her Bible to Hebrews 12:1. She recalled how it said Jesus despised shame. She pondered how Jesus was betrayed by His disciple, Judas Iscariot. He was stripped naked, beaten, spit on, had a crown of thorns dug into his scalp, was crucified on a cross (a death reserved for the lowest of society), and He decided to despise the shame. It gave her courage to think that if He could reject shame under those circumstances then so could she. She would despise all of the shame and get real with a group of women she probably didn’t even know. At this point of her healing journey, Kaycie trusted Olivia, but she wondered if she could trust other women. She had to admit she had a lot of jealous feelings toward women. When James was caught up in his addiction, she saw how he lingered a little too long when he saw a gorgeous woman. She also saw how he flirted with other women right in front of her, as if she wasn’t in the room. Her blood still boiled at those memories. But with the memories came the determination she wasn’t going to stay in this place any longer. Enough! Olivia called her back and said, “Kaycie, I have one spot left, but here’s the deal—the group starts today at one. Is there any way you can make it?” “Let me see what I can do.” Kaycie hit the end call icon and called James. “Come on, James, answer the phone,” she said to no one. “James, glad you answered. I called Olivia this morning and left her a message saying I was ready to do her group. She just called me back and has one spot left. Here’s the deal: the group starts today at one. I know this is crazy last minute, but this is really important to me—to us. Can you come home and take care of the kids for me?”

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  12. What is unlawful cannot be imposed by this Church as a penance. But for certain grave offences, a sinner may be enjoined to make a pilgrimage and to beg his way. Hence mendicancy is not sinful, but may be a penitential exercise. It may, therefore, be practised, together with other works of penance, for the love of God, and as a means to perfection. 13. As vigils, fasting and suchlike macerations of the flesh are employed as means to combat concupiscence, so everything that tends towards humiliation diminishes pride, which is as much to be avoided as lust, since, as St. Gregory says, spiritual sins are the more heinous. Now no penitential exercise can be more humiliating than mendicancy, for man is naturally ashamed of begging. Hence as fasting and watching, regarded in the light of bridles to concupiscence, pertain to the state of perfection; mendicancy likewise, embraced for the love of Christ and for the sake of humility, pertains to the same state. 14. Again, the charity of Christ is more liberal than is the friendship of the world. Now even in human friendship, friends make no difficulty about asking each other for what they need, particularly in cases where some return can be made for what is given. The form in which such return is made is of no consequence, as the philosopher says (V Ethic.). Hence it is permissible for a man, even though he be in good health, to ask for the love of God for what he needs, especially as he can make a return to the donor by prayers and spiritual works. 15. It is lawful to ask another for a favour, if, by so doing, we give him a chance of improving his condition. Now by giving alms, a man betters his condition by meriting eternal life. Hence it cannot be unlawful to ask for charity. 16. The needs of the poor cannot be relieved unless they be known; and they cannot be known unless they be revealed. Hence if it is right for any to be in a state of destitution, it is right for them to beg for what they need. But, as we have already proved, it is lawful for men to reduce themselves to such poverty for the love of God that even (as St. Augustine says in De opere monachorum) their manual labour does not suffice to support them. It is, therefore, justifiable in them to beg. We shall now prove that it is right to give alms to mendicant religious.

• From Go Tell It on the Mountain (1953)

  Her mother had taught her that the way to pray was to forget everything and everyone but Jesus; to pour out of the heart, like water from a bucket, all evil thoughts, all thoughts of self, all malice for one’s enemies; to come boldly, and yet more humbly than a little child, before the Giver of all good things. Yet, in Florence’s heart to-night hatred and bitterness weighed like granite, pride refused to abdicate from the throne it had held so long. Neither love nor humility had led her to the altar, but only fear. And God did not hear the prayers of the fearful, for the hearts of the fearful held no belief. Such prayers could rise no higher than the lips that uttered them. Around her she heard the saints’ voices, a steady, charged murmur, with now and again the name of Jesus rising above, sometimes like the swift rising of a bird into the air of a sunny day, sometimes like the slow rising of the mist from swamp ground. Was this the way to pray? In the church that she had joined when she first came North one knelt before the altar once only, in the beginning, to ask forgiveness of sins; and this accomplished, one was baptized and became a Christian, to kneel no more thereafter. Even if the Lord should lay some great burden on one’s back—as He had done, but never so heavy a burden as this she carried now—one prayed in silence. It was indecent, the practice of common niggers to cry aloud at the foot of the altar, tears streaming for all the world to see. She had never done it, not even as a girl down home in the church they had gone to in those days. Now perhaps it was too late, and the Lord would suffer her to die in the darkness in which she had lived so long. In the olden days God had healed His children. He had caused the blind to see, the lame to walk, and He had raised dead men from the grave. But Florence remembered one phrase, which now she muttered against the knuckles that bruised her lips: ‘Lord, help my unbelief.’ For the message had come to Florence that had come to Hezekiah: Set thine house in order, for thou shalt die and not live.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  JEROME. Many also who are naturally clever and have sharp wit, if they become neglectful, and by disuse spoil that good they have by nature, these do, in comparison of him who being somewhat dull by nature compensates by industry and painstaking his backwardness, lose their natural gift, and see the reward promised them pass away to others. But it may also be understood thus; To him who has faith, and a right will in the Lord, even if he come in aught short in deed as being man, shall be given by the merciful Judge; but he who has not faith, shall lose even the other virtues which he seems to have naturally. And He says carefully, From him that hath not, shall be taken away even that which he seemeth to have, for whatsoever is without faith in Christ ought not to be imputed to him who uses it amiss, but to Him who gives the goods of nature even to a wicked servant. GREGORY. (ubi sup.) Or, Whoso has not charity, loses even those things which he seems to have received. HILARY. And on those who have the privilege of the Gospels, the honour of the Law is also conferred, but from him who has not the faith of Christ is taken away even that honour which seemed to be his through the Law. CHRYSOSTOM. The wicked servant is punished not only by loss of his talent, but by intolerable infliction, and a denunciation in accusation joined therewith. ORIGEN. Into outer darkness, where is no light, perhaps not even physical light; and where God is not seen, but those who are condemned thereto are condemned as unworthy the contemplation of God. We have also read some one before us expounding this of the darkness of that abyss which is outside the world, as though unworthy of the world, they were cast out into that abyss, where is darkness with none to lighten it. GREGORY. (ubi sup.) And thus for punishment he shall be cast into outer darkness who has of his own free will fallen into inward darkness. JEROME. What is weeping and gnashing of teeth we have said above. CHRYSOSTOM. Observe that not only he who robs others, or who works evil, is punished with extreme punishment, but he also who does not good works. GREGORY. (Hom. in Ev. ix. 7.) Let him then who has understanding look that he hold not his peace; let him who has affluence not be dead to mercy; let him who has the art of guiding life communicate its use with his neighbour; and him who has the faculty of eloquence intercede with the rich for the poor. For the very least endowment will be reckoned as a talent entrusted for use.

• From What Belongs to You (2016)

  Though I can’t remember the season or year or anything that was said, I remember the room, the ornamental bulbs and the tile and the water already running, the mirror obscured with fog; and I remember my father, his body large and bare, the fascination of it and its availability in the small space where, laughing, we wrestled to stay beneath the hot stream of water. I was old enough to wash myself but we still touched each other; he would ask me to wash his back, which was difficult for him to reach, and then he would wash mine in turn. Though he was often severe and sometimes cruel he was gentle with me there; if the soap ran into my eyes he would rinse them, tilting my face up with his hand, a kind of physical care he seldom undertook. We had stepped out of the water onto the tiles, which could be slick, he reminded me each time, Be careful, he said, and then I approached him, not with any specific intent but perhaps not innocently either, I can’t be sure after so many years, as I can no longer recall whether he was facing me or looking away, though he must have been looking away or he would have stopped me or avoided my touch. Or maybe it’s more true to say I was innocent but not without intent, what was it but an intention that drove me, a bodily intention; I wanted to touch him, not with an outcome in mind but with an ache, perhaps not an intention but an ache, which drove me to him and which he felt, too, when I put my arms around him and pressed my body to his and he felt my erection where it touched him. That was the end of care, he thrust me away without a thought for the slickness of the tiles; and when I looked at his face, which was twisted in disgust, it was as if I saw his true face, his authentic face, not the learned face of fatherhood. He covered himself quickly and left the room, saying nothing, but his look entered me and settled there and has never left, it rooted beneath memory and became my understanding of myself, my understanding and expectation. From that day, all the ease we had enjoyed together was gone.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  AUGUSTINE. (Tr. cxiii) But what wonder, if God foretold truly, man presumed falsely. Respecting this denial of Peter we should remark, that Christ is not only denied by him, who denies that He is Christ, but by him also who denies himself to be a Christian. For the Lord did not say to Peter, Thou shalt deny that thou art My disciple, but, Thou shalt deny Me. (Luke 22:34) He denied Him then, when he denied that he was His disciple. And what was this but to deny that he was a Christian? How many afterwards, even boys and girls, were able to despise death, confess Christ, and enter courageously into the kingdom of heaven; which he who received the keys of the kingdom, was now unable to do? Wherein we see the reason for His saying above, Let these go their way, for of those which Thou hast given Me, have I lost none. If Peter had gone out of this world immediately after denying Christ, He must have been lost. CHRYSOSTOM. (Serm. de Petro et Elia.) Therefore did Divine Providence permit Peter first to fall, in order that he might be less severe to sinners from the remembrance of his own fall. Peter, the teacher and master of the whole world, sinned, and obtained pardon, that judges might thereafter have that rule to go by in dispensing pardon. For this reason I suppose the priesthood was not given to Angels; because, being without sin themselves, they would punish sinners without pity. Passible man is placed over man, in order that remembering his own weakness, he may be merciful to others. THEOPHYLACT. Some however foolishly favour Peter, so far as to say that he denied Christ, because he did not wish to be away from Christ, and he knew, they say, that if he confessed that he was one of Christ’s disciples, he would be separated from Him, and would no longer have the liberty of following and seeing his beloved Lord; and therefore pretended to be one of the servants, that his sad countenance might not be perceived, and so exclude him: And the servants and officers stood there, who had made a fire of coals, and warmed themselves; and Peter stood with them, and warmed himself. AUGUSTINE. (Tr. cxiii) It was not winter, and yet it was cold, as it often is at the vernal equinox. GREGORY. (ii. Mor. c. 11) The fire of love was smothered in Peter’s breast, and he was warming himself before the coals of the persecutors, i. e. with the love of this present life, whereby his weakness was increased. 18:19–2119. The high priest then asked Jesus of his disciples, and of his doctrine. 20. Jesus answered him, I spake openly to the world; I ever taught in the synagogue, and in the temple, whither the Jews always resort; and in secret have I said nothing.