Pride

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

Page 119 of 174 · 20 per page

• From A Critical and Exegetical Commentary on the Epistle to the Galatians (1921)

  For direct evidence as to the origin of Paul's assurance of his own apos- tleship and his conception of the functions of an apostle, we must depend upon his own letters. In 2 Cor. 8" and Phil. 226 he uses the term, with limitations, in the general sense of messenger or delegate. This evidence is valuable as showing what was for Paul the fundamental idea of the term, but it in no way obscures the fact that Paul applied the term to a certain limited number of persons, including himself and the Twelve, in a more specific sense. In the salutation of the Thessalonian letter (or letters if 2 Thes. be from Paul), he couples with his own name those of Silvanus and Timothy, and adds no title, but in i Thes. 2' he uses the term dkdcriroXoc of himself 3 or of himself and one or more of his companions at Thessalonica, in such a way as to imply that to be an apostle of Christ carried with it either authority, or the right to be supported by his converts; it is impos- sible to say with certainty which is the implication of iv p<fcpei. In Gal. i1-* he affirms his own apostleship with emphasis, and thereafter in the salutation of all the Pauline letters, except Phil, and Phm. the term dto^atoXoc; is closely joined to the personal name IlaQXoq, In all these cases the term is clearly restricted to Paul himself and is evidently of titular force. Gal. i1 and its context also make it clear that Paul's right to this title was disputed, and scarcely less so that the ground of objection was that the title and appointment had not been authorised in Jerusalem. To this his defence was not that he had been duly appointed, but that such appointment was unnecessary, and that he had never sought it, having received his apostleship by direct divine commission. In i Cor. gl Paul couples the assertion of Ms apostleship with the affirmation that he had seen Jesus our Lord, evidently referring to the post-resurrection vision spoken of in i Cor. 15®. As therefore the Galatian passage suggests one element of the conditions of apostleship implied in Acts i*1- **, so the Cor- inthian passage suggests another. It is not, indeed, perfectly clear whether he conceded that such a vision of the risen Jesus was a necessary condition of Epostleahip or, only met he fulMed it, preferred simply to affirm the 374 GAIATIANS

• From A Critical and Exegetical Commentary on the Epistle to the Galatians (1921)

  ical /caX^cra9 Std TT}? %dpt,TQ$ avrov (16) cforo/eaXitym TOP auToO e^ e/io/ "And when it pleased him who from my mother's womb had set me apart, and who called me through his grace, to reveal his Son in me." The affirmation of this sentence that after his conversion, as before, the apostle kept himself apart from the Twelve is not antithetical to that of the preceding, but continues his argument; 84 should, therefore, be translated "and," rather than "but" (RV.). For the purposes of his argument the central element of the statement of vv.16-17 is in v.Mb: " immediately I communicated not with flesh and blood." For this statement, however, pertaining to his con- duct immediately after his conversion to faith in Jesus, he pre- pares the way in vv.16-iea by referring to certain antecedents of Ms conversion. All these he ascribes to God; for that o &,(j>op&ra<> * . , teal /ca\d<ra<> refers to God, and a7roKa\ityat, to a divine act, is evident from the nature of the acts referred to. See esp. on the Pauline usage of /caX^o>, v.6, and detached note on *A7ro/caXt$7rT<» and 'A7ro/caXi^i9, p. 433. Of the three antecedents here named the first and second, expressed by &$apC<ra$ and /eaX^ra<? are associated together grammatically, the participles being under one article and joined by teat But it is the second and third that are most closely associated in time, <i$o/>/aa? being dated from his birth, while the events de- noted by /eaX/ow and a7ro/eaXi5iJ/w; as the usage of the word fcak^ shows, are elements or immediate antecedents of the conversion-experience. By the emphasis which in his references to these antecedents of his conversion he throws upon the divine activity and grace (note cV x<£/>m) and by dating the First of these back to the very beginning of his life he Incidentally strengthens his argu- ment for his own independent divine commission. He whom God himself from his birth set apart to be a preacher of the to the Gentiles and whom by his grace he called into that can not be dependent on men for his commission or subject to their control The question whether the phrase 50 GALATIANS

• From A Critical and Exegetical Commentary on the Epistle to the Galatians (1921)

  el ju^ €*> r§> <rravp$ rot) Kvpfov fjp,£>v *Ii]ffov Xpicrroi/, St' o5 e/xoi KO'CTJLIOS ecrravpwrai Ka7a> KoV/xcj?. "But far be it from me to glory except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom a world hath been crucified to me and I to a world." In striking contrast with the boasting of the judaisers, which has its sphere and basis in the mere material flesh of men, the apostle sets forth as his ground of boasting — note ejuot emphatic by position — the central fact of his gospel, the cross of Christ (cf. Rom. i16 1 Cor. i23*-) which has wrought a complete revolution in his own life. rif <rravpq> undoubtedly has the same significance as in v.12. See in v.18 the clear evidence that the doctrine of the cross is there also the antithesis to legalism. KO'CTJUOS is quite certainly employed here in the fifth of the meanings indicated in the note on Sroi/j^Za rov /coVjuou, p. 514, viz., "the mode of life characterised by earthly advantages." But the particular earthly advantages which the apostle has in mind are not, as in i Jn. 2U, etc., the sensual pleasures of riches and other like things, but, rather, those of which he speaks in Phil. 3** 4. Paul's world, Kocrfios, with which he severed his relation, when the cross of Christ acquired for him its new significance, was that of Israelitish descent, circumcision, the rank and dignity of a Pharisee, the righteousness that is in law, touching which he was blameless. To this world he became dead by the cross of Christ, because in Christ's death on the cross he saw a dem- onstration that God's way of accepting men was not on the basis of works of law, but on that of faith in Christ. Cf. 2li> M 318 44» s Rom, 321*- 425 s18* * For evidence that the significance of the cross is in what it proves respecting God's real attitude towards men, see the extended discussion of 318. The fulness of the expression ToO icvpfov JJIJL&V 'I^croi; Xptorov adds weight to the utterance and reflects the emotion with which the state- ment is made; cf. detached note on the Titles and Predicates of Jesus, p. 393. As to what the apostle means by "boasting in the cross," see i Cor, i1*®- Rom, 5*' s» ll» 3SS

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  From this time forward Ambrose lived wholly for the church, and became one of the greatest bishops of ancient Christendom, full of Roman dignity, energy, and administrative wisdom, and of the unction of the Holy Ghost. He began his work with the sale of his great estates and of his gold and silver for the benefit of the poor; reserving an allowance for his pious sister Marcella or Marcellina, who in early youth had taken the vow of virginity. With voluntary poverty he associated the strictest regimen of the ascetic spirit of his time; accepted no invitations to banquets; took dinner only on Sunday, Saturday, and the festivals of celebrated martyrs; devoted the greater part of the night to prayer, to the hitherto necessarily neglected study of the Scriptures and the Greek fathers, and to theological writing; preached every Sunday, and often in the week; was accessible to all, most accessible to the poor and needy; and administered his spiritual oversight, particularly his instruction of catechumens, with the greatest fidelity. The Arians he vigorously opposed by word and act, and contributed to the victory of the Nicene faith in the West. In this work he behaved himself towards the Arian empress Justina with rare boldness, dignity, and consistency, in the heroic spirit of an Athanasius. The court demanded the cession of a catholic church for the use of the Arians, and claimed for them equal rights with the orthodox. But Ambrose asserted the entire independence of the church towards the state, and by perseverance came off victorious in the end. It was his maxim, that the emperor is in the church, but not over the church, and therefore has no right to the church buildings. He did not meddle in secular matters, nor ask favor of the magistracy, except when he could put in a word of intercession for the unfortunate and for persons condemned to death in those despotic times. This enabled him to act the more independently in his spiritual office, as a real prince of the church, fearless even of the emperor himself. Thus he declared to the usurper Maximus, who desired church fellowship, that he would never admit him, unless he should do sincere penance for the murder of the emperor Gratian. When the Roman prefect, Symmachus, the noblest and most eloquent advocate of the decaying heathenism of his time, implored the emperor Valentinian, in an apology for the altar of Victory which stood in the hall of the Roman senate, to tolerate the worship and the sanctuaries of the ancient gods, Ambrose met him with an admirable reply, and prevented the granting of his request.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  After the royal edict, which expelled all the Antitrinitarians, he returned to Switzerland, was apprehended by the authorities of Bern, convicted of heresies, deceits, and evasions, and beheaded on the tenth of September, 1566. On the way to the place of execution, he declared that he died a martyr for the honor of the supreme God, and charged the ministers who accompanied him with Sabellianism. He received the death-stroke with firmness, amid the exhortations of the clergy and the prayers of the multitude for God’s mercy. Benedict Aretius, a theologian of Bern, published in the following year the acts of the process with a refutation of Gentile’s objections to the orthodox doctrine. The fate of Gentile was generally approved. No voice of complaint or protest was heard, except a feeble one from Basel. Calvin had died more than two years before, and now the city of Bern, which had opposed his doctrinal and disciplinary rigor, condemned to death a heretic less gifted and dangerous than Servetus. Gentile himself indirectly admitted that a teacher of false religion was deserving of death, but he considered his own views as true and scriptural.956 The death of Gentile ends the history of Antitrinitarianism in Switzerland. In the same year the strictly orthodox Second Helvetic Confession of Bullinger was published and adopted in the Reformed Cantons. § 132. The Eucharistic Controversies. Calvin and Westphal. I. The Sources are given in § 117. See especially Calvin’s Opera, vol. IX. 1–252, and the Prolegomena, pp. i-xxiv. The correspondence between Bullinger, à Lasco, Farel, Viret, and Calvin, on the controversy, in his Opera, vols. XV. and XVI. The letters of Melanchthon from this period in the Corpus Reform. vols. VII.–IX. The works of Westphal are quoted below. II. Planck (neutral): Geschichte des Protest. Lehrbegriff’s (Leipzig, 1799), vol. V. Part II. 1–137.—Ebrard (Reformed): Das Dogma vom heil. Abendmahl, II. 525–744.—Nevin (Reformed), in the "Mercersburg Review" for 1850, pp. 486–510.—Mönckeberg (Lutheran): Joachim Westphal und Joh. Calvin, 1865.—Wagenmann in Herzog2, XVII. 1–6. Henry, III. 298–357.—Dyer, 401–412.—Stähelin, II. 112 sqq., 189 sqq.—Gieseler, III. Part II. 280 sqq.—Dorner: Geschichte der protest. Theol., 400 sqq.—Schaff, Creeds, I. 279 sqq. The sacramental controversy between Luther and Zwingli was apparently solved by the middle theory of Calvin, Bullinger, and Melanchthon, and had found a symbolical expression in the Zürich Consensus of 1549, for Switzerland, and even before that, in the Wittenberg Concordia of 1536 and in Melanchthon’s irenical restatement of the 10th article of the Altered Augsburg Confession of 1540, for Germany. Luther’s renewed attack upon the Swiss in 1544 was isolated, and not supported by any of his followers; while Calvin, from respect for Luther, kept silent. But in 1552 a second sacramental war was opened by Westphal in the interest of the high Lutheran theory, and gradually spread over all Germany and Switzerland.

• From The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir (2004)

  After I suck his cock more fabulously than ever before, that much deeper, that much slower, that much faster, with a bunch of ball sucking, then, after his eyes roll up into his head several times over and he looks seriously disoriented, he takes my head firmly in his hands, refocuses, looks me straight in the eye and says, “Good girl.” To think I’ve been through all this, come this far, just to find out that all I ever really wanted was to be a good girl, Daddy’s good girl. Finally. THE UNFORTUNATE AND BORING PLIGHT OF SO MANY WOMEN I am the victim of the unfortunate and boring plight of so many women—Daddy didn’t love me enough way back when. And my life with men has become the long trail of my mostly subconscious and sometimes desperate attempts to fill that gap, to feel that love, to heal that hurt, to address that loss. Daddy loves me now, accepts me now, respects me now—and I love him. But this is irrelevant. That hole was dug early and is now part of me. My father can no longer fill it. Besides, who would I be if he were not my father? Not me. Not me writing this. No, sir. So, in the end, I’m grateful. After all, I wouldn’t want to be my unwounded self; she might not like ass-fucking and then where would she be? Certainly not in my privileged position, propped on Pink Square, ass in the air several afternoons a week. She’d probably be doing four loads of laundry for her husband and three children at about that same time and wondering about how to fill that emptiness she feels. I’ve only ever met one woman who said that she not only had always adored her father, but that he adored her, always had, and she proudly stated that he was the most beloved man in her life. All the men wanted this woman. She had no hurt, no anger, and no edge. Eventually she married an insanely wealthy entrepreneur. But the rest of us are hurt, angry, and very edgy. Time bombs. Defusing the bomb is a challenge to the feminist man, and arrogance makes him think he can succeed. He can’t. It’s my hurt, my pain, and who are you to take it from me? I don’t need rescuing, I don’t need pity, I don’t need opinions, I need fucking—and maybe a nice little spanking for indulging my anger. I have always embraced David Copperfield’s challenge to be the heroine of my own life. I just always thought it would involve great public deeds or heart- wrenching sacrifices, but no, it’s not like that at all. When I suck his cock and he fucks me in the ass, I am that heroine. It is the deep and sure knowledge that finally, finally, I have really loved a man with no agenda except to love. After my daddy, that is miracle indeed.

• From Birthday Girl (2018)

  —Ahora lo entiendo —me susurra mi hermana con burla al oído—. Y aquí estaba yo, preocupada porque sufrieras avances indeseados de un viejo sudoroso y gordo. —Cállate. —Cierro los ojos con exasperación. Escucho que se abre la puerta trasera y el humor se adueña de su voz mientras bromea: —Ahora cuídate de tus hombres. Me giro para cerrarle la puerta de golpe en el rostro, pero grita, cerrándola antes que tenga oportunidad. —Oh, no me gustan las cebollas. Me detengo ante las palabras de Pike y miro la salsa de barbacoa rociada sobre mis obras maestras de aros de cebolla. Son una publicación de Instagram esperando a suceder. Si quito las hermosas cebollas doradas, será solo un fail para Pinterest. —¿Y si pruebas un poco? —Me arriesgo, con una sonrisa tímida—. Te gustará. Lo prometo. En mi experiencia, los hombres comerán lo que tienen enfrente. Parece pensarlo un momento y luego cierra el refrigerador y se encuentra con mi mirada. Su expresión se suaviza. —Bien. Probablemente siente que me lo debe, ya que hice la cena, así que lo acepto. Cubriendo la hamburguesa, le doy el plato, y él lo lleva hasta un taburete, tomando un bocado antes de sentarse. Echo un vistazo por encima de mi hombro. Su mandíbula deja de moverse, y parpadea un par de veces, los músculos de sus mejillas se flexionan. Y luego escucho un gemido. Me vuelvo hacia la estufa para que no pueda ver mi sonrisa. —En realidad, está bueno —asegura—. Realmente bueno. Solo asiento, pero noto una pequeña pizca de orgullo. —Cuando comes barato al crecer —indico—, encuentras tus propias maneras de agregarle un toque gourmet. No dice nada durante unos segundos, pero después de un momento concuerda: —Sí. No estoy segura si eso significa que solo está escuchando atentamente o está de acuerdo conmigo. Si ha descubierto mi apellido, debe saber quién es mi padre. Todos en la ciudad conocen a Chip Hadley, así que tendría una idea de cómo vivíamos. No sé mucho sobre la familia de Cole, o si siempre han vivido en esta ciudad. Pike Lawson no es rico, pero ciertamente no es pobre por el aspecto de su casa. —Es muy bueno. Lo digo en serio —dice nuevamente. —Gracias. —Me doy vuelta y coloco un plato en la isla perpendicular a su asiento para Cole, y el mío junto a ese. Nos quedamos en silencio, y me pregunto si también se siente raro. Hablamos tan fácilmente la otra noche cuando no sabíamos quién era el otro, pero eso ha cambiado ahora. Escucho movimiento desde la sala de estar y miro alrededor para ver a Cole entrando a la cocina. Sonrío. Tiene grasa en toda la camisa y una mancha bajo su labio. Puede comportarse mal como si fuera su trabajo, pero también puede presumir de un encanto infantil como si nada.

• From The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir (2004)

  There is plenty of protest in Eve Ensler’s popular play The Vagina Monologues. But why is it that in all those interviews, all those questions, all those monologues, there is not a single mention of a woman’s asshole? So close and yet so far; the space that could change the world. All that “liberated” Pussy Talk, and yet so avoidant about what lies behind their sacred place: the hole of no return. Oh, well. It would be treason, I suppose, to advocate surrender at the rear for those who are just finally claiming victory at the front. Victory from behind, however, seems so much more, how can I put it . . . honorable. I can’t but wonder if my play, The Anal Dialogues, could find a venue even off-off-off-Broadway? Perhaps in some dark performance space down some little-traveled back alley? Clearly, yelling about butt-fucking from the rooftops—or on the national radio waves—is not advised. In April 2004, it was proposed that Clear Channel Communications, the nation’s largest radio broadcaster, be fined no less than $495,000 by the Federal Communications Commission for a single twenty-minute segment of the Howard Stern Show in which Stern discussed, at some length, what he refers to as “anal.” (It probably didn’t help matters that the conversation was frequently punctuated by fart noises.) Thank God that having anal sex is so much cheaper than talking about it. Despite this new trend of sodomitic censorship, ass-fucking has made several auspicious appearances recently on screens both big and small. The subject came up regularly in the popular TV series Sex and the City, whose heroines discussed not only men’s growing interest in “the ass” but also their own willingness to accommodate those interests, the appropriateness of doing so on a first date, and the basic lube how-tos. Perhaps even more surprising was its mention in the Hollywood hit Bridget Jones’s Diary. At one point, when Bridget is lying in bed after having sex with her caddish lover, Daniel Cleaver, she reminds him that what they just did is illegal in several countries. To which he replies, without missing a beat, that that’s one of the reasons he’s so pleased to be living in England today. Is Daniel Cleaver the latest incarnation of the bad-boy lover, the zipless fuck for the twenty-first century? After all, the zipless ass-fuck simply takes zipless to a new hole level. So does missionary-position ass-fucking. The term itself conjures up such perfect contradiction: the most patriarchal position, the most biblically sanctioned, and yet, well, what a difference an inch can make. The experience on the other hand—best achieved with a nice firm pillow under the ass—makes me feel downright missionary. After all, here I am spreading the word, sharing the epiphany like a born-again believer, a convert, an anal zealot. #145 and #146

• From Bigorexia

  So the idea is to get there for this appearance, see how it makes me feel, and if I feel good, I'm going to keep going. I need at least get down there and see, "Would I'd be as happy and feel as content as I think I would?" And if not, then I can always put the weight back on. [music continues] [interviewer] How did you discover bodybuilding? Do you have concerns regarding your health? [gentle music] [gym equipment rattles] You know, it's funny, my life, you got the bodybuilding trophies, but I would say, like, I always won, you know, first, first place in sales. This is the Mr. Ohio, I always got third. And then I finally won, I won one time which is that picture. I won my weight class. I guess it's cool I got big, but I did have raw muscles and then I'm just striated everywhere, no. In the end, I'd won my first show, finally, after seven tries. You know, I'd qualified to go to nationals a few times before that, but I knew I wasn't ready. I was going to keep going, keep getting progressively bigger. I wanted to be a bodybuilder and that is really tough to let go of, I mean, that's a lot of blood, sweat, tears and money. This was a pipe dream from day one, but I think the competitive spirit in me, like, I enjoyed the challenge, I enjoyed that "You don't think I could do it." I loved that and that was really why I loved bodybuilding, as it was so tough. It was so tough. It was so going against the grain. [crowd cheering] [soft suspenseful music] [crowd cheering] [Jay] I would think anyone that goes and works in their body on a daily basis or five days a week, they're bodybuilders. Now, step aside and say you're a bodybuilder professionally, that's what you do for a career, then it gets a little extreme. [PJ] It's actually quite unhealthy. There is a large amount of drugs involved right now. There is very, very unhealthy extremes of dieting and dehydration that goes into looking the way that you typically see in magazines or in these images. [Gregg] A normal person doesn't want to look like Big Ramy. The average guy does not want to look like that. Bodybuilders have bigorexia, that's why they want to look like that. They say, "I want to look like that and get even bigger." [Jay] I think guys never have a limit, and they really don't have a vision, they're just kind of in there doing it without any kind of goal. And they say, "Okay, how far can I push my body?" And some people are never satisfied. That's just a person, I mean, that's like the workaholic, right? I think it's the same thing with people that train and people who want to be bigger, they think just bigger, bigger, bigger all the time.

• From The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir (2004)

  I like a shoe with a good metaphor to support me. Toe shoes, hooker shoes, it’s all just bondage in the end. I got a lot of shoe for fifty bucks. I called them my “Don’t-Fuck-With-Me” shoes. They also, ironically, looked a lot like “Fuck-Me” shoes. Ah, the double-entendre shoes, the key to Freud’s question “What do women want?”—“Fuck me!” but “Don’t fuck with me!” Black, heeled platforms. The front pedestal raised the ball of my foot off the ground two and half inches, and the heel, that gloriously slim yet strong heel, raised me up a solid seven inches. Finally, for the first time since being on pointe, I felt myself to be taller than the truth. But most important, my feet were far above the ground: it is the place where I am at my best in both mind and body. And, if necessary, these shoes could deliver a very healthy kick. My new shoes became both shield and armor in the battle for a new way to live. I ended up buying pairs in all the other colors: silver, sky blue, and serious pink. Once strapped on, these shoes changed my entire demeanor. I became my own Amazon—Aphrodite, Artemis, and Athena rolled into one. A- Woman was born. Equal in height to most men, I was now taller than many. I walked slowly, deliberately, proudly, stupendously on my shimmering, high-heeled weapons. Hope sprang alive as I peered about from my new perch. No longer looking up, I was looking down. No longer Slave, I was Mistress: the only refuge for a submissive with no Master. I started wearing my shoes around the house. With sweatpants, with underwear, without underwear, dusting a shelf, doing the dishes. One time I even shaved my pussy in the heels in order to do the dishes. Therapy. And I continued to rinse out my ass every time I bathed—a gesture of hope in a vacant lot. Then, one day, as Leonard Cohen was singing “Dance Me to the End of Love” through the speakers, I started swaying to the music—“moving like they do in Babylon”—and I knew that I would be dancing again before too long in my “Don’t-Fuck-With-Me” shoes. I was healed. I had made the leap across the open chasm. It wasn’t as wide as I’d thought. All those abbreviated M-words were never bridge enough to the other side. I never really liked being a “Miss.” Too prissy. It was slightly better in French—“Mlle.”—but still felt wanting—too petite for my budding enormity. Then came the opportunity for “Mrs.” which felt horrendous, like my mother, and its dry, neutered alternative, “Ms.” The problem with them all is that what followed was always a man’s name—a father’s or a husband’s. Now I only recognize titles befitting a woman who belongs to herself. Having traveled the long and twisted road from Masochist to Mistress . . . What next? Madam?

• From Birthday Girl (2018)

  Salto de la camioneta, las duras gotas de lluvia golpean instantáneamente la parte superior de mi cabeza y mis hombros, instintivamente me agacho un poco mientras cierro la puerta y corro hacia el edificio. Mis botas salpican pequeños charcos, y corro hacia la tina de una camioneta de la compañía, bajando de inmediato la puerta trasera y tomando tantos sacos de arena como puedo cargar en mis brazos. El amarillo brillante aparece a mi lado y, sin decir una palabra, Jordan hace lo mismo, rápidamente carga más bolsas en sus brazos y me sigue por el costado del edificio hasta donde los chicos están esperando. Dejo caer las bolsas y miro a través del marco de acero de la estructura, notando la plataforma de cemento destapada en el nivel inferior. Hijo de puta. Nueve hombres, incluido mi mejor amigo, me miran fijamente, esperando instrucciones. El viento sopla la lluvia en la parte trasera de mis jeans, empapando el material en mi piel. —¡Quiero estas bolsas alrededor de todo el perímetro! —grito sobre la tormenta—. ¡Un metro de alto! ¿Entendido? Rápidos asentimientos. —¡Y cubran ese cemento, maldita sea! Muevo mi barbilla hacia la plataforma descubierta que está arruinándose. Lluvia o no, siempre debe cubrirse, por si acaso, y alguien la dejó así en el último turno. Dutch, mi mejor amigo desde la escuela secundaria, mueve sus ojos marrones a mi lado, suavizando su expresión al instante. Echo un vistazo para ver a Jordan, su cabello escondido en la capucha de su impermeable, pero afortunadamente no se queda para ser presentada. Volviendo a la camioneta, saca más sacos de arena de la plataforma, y me vuelvo hacia Dutch que me mira con curiosidad. Solo sacudo la cabeza. Ahora no. No es extraño que la novia de mi hijo quiera pagar y ser útil, pero es extraño que él no esté aquí también. ¿Él sabe que ella tomó su lugar, ayudando esta mañana? ¿Qué clase de hombre está de acuerdo con eso? Le enseñé a cumplir con sus obligaciones, maldita sea. O tal vez simplemente no quería venir conmigo. Necesito hacer algo con respecto a él, pero no sé qué. Esta táctica de “esperar y ver” no funciona. Necesita una patada en el culo. Los hombres se ponen a trabajar, cargan pilas de tres bolsas y las colocan a los lados del edificio, mientras yo saco mi navaja de la caja de herramientas en la camioneta y corto rectángulos de lona azul para engrapar alrededor del marco del primer piso. Antes de darme cuenta, ha pasado una hora, las lonas están alzadas, los sacos de arena están haciendo su trabajo, y aparte de mí, todos parecen haberse desvanecido. Arrojo mi cuchillo y la pistola de grapas de nuevo en la camioneta y cierro la puerta, mirando alrededor del sitio en busca de Jordan.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  Calvin wrote to the Council of Geneva from Neuchâtel on Sept. 7, explaining the reason of his delay.621 The next day he proceeded to Bern and delivered letters from Strassburg and Basel. He was expected at Geneva on the 9th of September, but did not arrive, it seems, before the 13th. He wished to avoid a noisy reception, for which he had no taste.622 But there is no doubt that his arrival caused general rejoicing among the people.623 The Council provided for the Reformer a house and garden in the Rue des Chanoines near St. Peter’s Church,624 and promised him (Oct. 4), in consideration of his great learning and hospitality to strangers, a fixed salary of fifty gold dollars, or five hundred florins, besides twelve measures of wheat and two casks of wine.625 It also voted him a new suit of broadcloth, with furs for the winter. This provision was liberal for those days, yet barely sufficient for the necessary expenses of the Reformer and the claims on his hospitality. Hence the Council made him occasional presents for extra services; but he declined them whenever he could do without them. He lived in the greatest simplicity compatible with his position. A pulpit in St. Peter’s was prepared for him upon a broad, low pillar, that the whole congregation might more easily hear him. The Council sent three horses and a carriage to bring Calvin’s wife and furniture. It took twenty-two days for the escort from Geneva to Strassburg and back (from Sept. 17 to Oct. 8).626 On the 13th of September Calvin appeared before the Syndics and the Council in the Town Hall, delivered the letters from the senators and pastors of Strassburg and Basel, and apologized for his long delay. He made no complaint and demanded no punishment of his enemies, but asked for the appointment of a commission to prepare a written order of church government and discipline. The Council complied with this request, and resolved to retain him permanently, and to inform the Senate of Strassburg of this intention. Six prominent laymen, four members of the Little Council, two members of the Large Council,—Pertemps, Perrin, Roset, Lambert, Goulaz, and Porral,—were appointed to draw up the ecclesiastical ordinances in conference with the ministers.627 On Sept. 16, Calvin wrote to Farel: "Thy wish is granted, I am held fast here. May God give his blessing."628 He desired to retain Viret and to secure Farel as permanent co-laborers; but in this he was disappointed—Viret being needed at Lausanne, and Farel at Neuchâtel. By special permission of Bern, however, Viret was allowed to remain with him till July of the next year. His other colleagues were rather a hindrance than a help to him, as "they had no zeal and very little learning, and could not be trusted." Nearly the whole burden of reconstructing the Church of Geneva rested on his shoulders. It was a formidable task.

• From Birthday Girl (2018)

  Luego, cuando trató de entrar a la habitación, lo deseaba muchísimo —sus manos, su boca, sus palabras—, pero siempre lo perdono con demasiada facilidad y ya no quiero ser esa chica. Incluso si Pike es uno de los buenos, y estoy bastante segura que lo es, necesitaba demostrarme que valgo la pena el trabajo y la espera. Era necesario elevar el estándar y no darle a todos lo que quieren de mí tan fácilmente. He sido una incauta el tiempo suficiente. Jay, Cole, mis padres... Y me quedé dormida, orgullosa de ser más fuerte. Hoy por otro lado... puede tenerme tanto como quiera, porque tampoco puedo seguir esperando. Después de decirle que mantuviera sus manos lejos de sí mismo anoche, me obligué a hacer lo mismo hoy, y lo primero que voy a hacer cuando lo vea es quitarle la camisa, porque me encanta cómo se ve solo en pantalones. El clima es cálido hoy, pero hay una pequeña capa de nubes manteniendo el calor a raya, y me acuesto en la hierba sobre mi estómago, escuchando a Don Henley en el reproductor de casetes mientras ojeo el catálogo de cursos de otoño de mi universidad. Ya me había registrado para el próximo semestre pero estoy pensando en agregar otra clase. Mis piernas, cruzadas en los tobillos, se balancean hacia atrás y adelante en el aire detrás de mí, pero luego suena mi teléfono, me extiendo y lo recojo de la hierba. Mirando la pantalla, frunzo el ceño. ¿Qué quiere Dutch? Respondo y lo sostengo en mi oreja. —Hola —digo—. ¿Todo bien? Mi mente sospechosa se ve inmediatamente atraída por Pike y un espantoso accidente con cualquiera de las máquinas con las que trabaja. —Uh, sí, siento molestarte —me dice—. ¿Sabes qué le pasa a Pike hoy? —¿Qué quieres decir? —Bueno, ha estado de mal humor —se queja—. Todo el mundo tiene miedo de acercársele. Está gritando a todo el mundo, golpeó alrededor de ochenta clavos en cada tablón que colgó, y luego aceptó accidentalmente un envío equivocado de madera, lo que provocó una rabieta realmente interesante que me recuerda a mi hija de doce años. Ha sido extraño. Resoplo, pero luego coloco mi mano sobre mi boca para sofocarla. —Uhm... —Busco palabras, mi garganta se llena de risa—. En realidad no tengo idea. En realidad, tengo una muy buena idea. —Bueno, cúbrete, cariño —dice—. Está de camino a casa, y no sé cuál es su jodido problema. Mi cuerpo tiembla con una risa silenciosa, y justo en ese momento, veo que la camioneta de Pike viene rugiendo por la calle. Incluso su motor suena enojado. —Está bien —le digo a Dutch—. Me tengo que ir. Cuelgo, sin esperar su "despedida", y observo mientras Pike entra en el camino de entrada y la camioneta se detiene bruscamente. Echando un vistazo a mi teléfono, veo que solo son las cuatro de la tarde. Es muy temprano.

• From Summer Sisters (1998)

  So chic, so East Coast elegant. In Armani, for God’s sake. And all this time she’d been so sure it would be Trisha. She tries to contain her laughter. She hears Caity warning her—Be nice at graduation, Phoeb, okay? How sweet of Caity to feel protective of Lamb’s new wife, though she’s not sure she likes the idea. Shouldn’t Caity be protecting her? She tries to imagine Lamb and his bride in bed together, but she’s bothered by the image of him holding this woman the way he once held her. Does she have regrets? Let’s just say she has fond memories. Maybe if he’d been willing to do the Aspen thing, the Santa Fe thing, but Boston … God help her! She wasn’t about to wind up a proper Yankee wife. How ordinary, how boring! TawnySHE HOLDS ON to Ed’s arm, feeling out of place. Not that she doesn’t recognize the faces gathered here. Most have been guests at dinner parties she’s arranged for the Countess. And isn’t she acting her part today, bringing the dogs to graduation! At least she’s brought along a dog walker. Handsome young man. She doesn’t recognize him. The Countess is full of surprises. Oh, Lord … she’s introducing Phoebe to Abby! Well, that should be interesting. She doesn’t trust Abby. Ed thinks she’s crazy. You’re too suspicious , he tells her. The woman doesn’t have any ulterior motive . She’d like to know how he can be so sure. And now here comes Abby, waving at her as if they’re long-lost friends. At least Phoebe understands the rules. LambHOW PROUD HE IS of his daughter. He tears up as she marches in to “Pomp and Circumstance.” And that smile, as she accepts her diploma. Caitlin Mayhew Somers . He’s sure the audience is as awed by her charm and beauty as he is. He holds Abby’s hand tightly. Sharkey sits on his other side and next to him , Phoebe. Sharkey hadn’t sent her an invitation to his graduation from Choate. Two parents at graduation is enough , he’d said. And as far as he knows, Phoebe never noticed the snub. Now Phoebe leans across Sharkey and whispers something to him. He gets a whiff of her perfume, the same one that used to drive him crazy. He moves closer to Abby and smiles, letting her know it’s okay, he’s there for her. Then the headmaster calls, Victoria Leonard . Vix accepts her diploma plus a five-hundred-dollar award for academic excellence. The audience claps politely. Thank you very much , she says. I couldn’t have done this without my family’s support . She finds him and Abby in the audience, smiles, then looks over at her parents. Abby squeezes his hand, sniffles, and reaches for a tissue. Their summer daughter. How lucky they are. 24EVERY TIME SHE TURNED around Abby and Lamb dangled another opportunity in front of her. “Come on, kiddo …” Lamb said. “Go with Caitlin. See the world.

• From Tipping the Velvet (1998)

  The truth was this: that whatever successes I might achieve as a girl, they would be nothing compared to the triumphs I should enjoy clad, however girlishly, as a boy. I had, in short, found my vocation. Next day, rather appropriately, I got my hair cut off, and changed my name. The hair I had barbered at a house in Battersea, by the same theatrical hairdresser who cut Kitty’s. He worked on me for an hour, while she sat and watched; and at the end of that time I remember he held a glass to his apron and said warningly: ‘Now, you will squeal when you see it - I never cropped a girl before who didn’t squeal at the first look,’ and I trembled in a sudden panic. But when he turned the glass to show me, I only smiled to see the transformation he had made. He had not clipped the hair as short as Kitty‘s, but had left it long and falling, Bohemian-like, quite to my collar; and here, without the weight of the plait to pull it flat and lank, it sprang into a slight, surprising curl. Upon the locks which threatened to tumble over my brow he had palmed a little macassar-oil, which turned them sleek as cat’s fur, and gold as a ring. When I fingered them - when I turned and tilted my head - I felt my cheeks grow crimson. The man said then, ‘You see, you will find it queer,’ and he showed me how I might wear my severed plait, as Kitty wore hers, to disguise his barbering. I said nothing; but it was not with regret that I had blushed. I had blushed because my new, shorn head, my naked neck, felt saucy. I had blushed because - just as I had done when I first pulled on a pair of trousers - I had felt myself stir, and grow warm, and want Kitty. Indeed, I seemed to want her more and more, the further into boyishness I ventured. Kitty herself, however, though she also smiled when the barber displayed me, smiled more broadly when the plait was re-affixed. ‘That’s more like it,’ she said, when I stood and brushed my skirts down. ‘What a fright you looked in short hair and a frock!’ Back at Ginevra Road we found Walter waiting for us, and Mrs Dendy dishing up lunch; and it was here that I was given a new name, to match my bold new crop.

• From Summer Sisters (1998)

  couldn’t concentrate. She made almost no progress. Daniel and Gus eyed each other smugly. Vix was determined to prove them wrong. She rose at sunrise the next day and for two days after that. The others would find her there when they came down to breakfast, studying the pieces, locking together the edges, constructing separate sections, until the end of the sixth day, when she knew she had it. She let them watch that night, enjoying every step toward victory, and when she placed the final pieces Sharkey pumped his fist in the air and cried, “Yes!” He lifted her out of her chair and before she could stop him, swung her around. She was totally amazed. But when she smiled down at him he released her without a word, collected his share of the winnings, and disappeared. Gus and Daniel hung around to help the girls celebrate. “How about a consolation prize?” Gus said. “What did you have in mind?” Caitlin asked. He smiled and looked her over. “Whatever you’re willing to give.” “You wish!” She threw the empty puzzle box at him. He and Daniel laughed and went off together. 11 VIX WONDERED if Abby ever guessed how she fantasized about being her daughter, how she dreamed of being beautiful and rich and living in the big house in Cambridge, not that she’d ever seen it, but she’d seen pictures. Just weeks earlier, on the night of Vix’s fourteenth birthday, when she and Caitlin had dressed up for dinner at The Black Dog, Abby had said, “You both look so pretty. You remind me of how much I’ve always wanted a daughter.” “Don’t get any ideas,” Caitlin had told her. “We already have mothers.” Vix could see the hurt in Abby’s eyes, hear it in her voice. “I only meant ...” Abby started to say, but then she looked away and never finished. Vix asked Caitlin once if she didn’t miss Sharkey and Lamb during the school year, if she didn’t want to live in Cambridge, too. “I miss them,” Caitlin answered. “But Phoebe needs me, to prove she’s not a failure as a mother.” Vix thought of Phoebe’s postcards. Last summer there had been just one, from Tuscany. Dear Ones, Hope your having a grand summer, as always. I’m about to leave for a few days in Venice. See you soon! All my love, Phoebe The card was addressed to Caitlin and Sharkey Somers. One card for two kids. One card every summer. Sharkey dismissed it as fast as he’d read it, telling Caitlin she could add it to her collection. Caitlin stuck it in her

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  After the accession of the new and better procurator, Festus, who is known to have succeeded Felix in the year 60, Paul, as a Roman citizen, appealed to the tribunal of Caesar and thus opened the way to the fulfilment of his long-cherished desire to preach the Saviour of the world in the metropolis of the world. Having once more testified his innocence, and spoken for Christ in a masterly defence before Festus, King Herod Agrippa II. (the last of the Herods), his sister Bernice, and the most distinguished men of Caesarea, he was sent in the autumn of the year 60 to the emperor. He had a stormy voyage and suffered shipwreck, which detained him over winter at Malta. The voyage is described with singular minuteness and nautical accuracy by Luke as an eye-witness. In the month of March of the year 61, the apostle, with a few faithful companions, reached Rome, a prisoner of Christ, and yet freer and mightier than the emperor on the throne. It was the seventh year of Nero’s reign, when he had already shown his infamous character by the murder of Agrippina, his mother, in the previous year, and other acts of cruelty. In Rome Paul spent at least two years till the spring of 63, in easy confinement, awaiting the decision of his case, and surrounded by friends and fellow-laborers "in his own hired dwelling." He preached the gospel to the soldiers of the imperial body-guard, who attended him; sent letters and messages to his distant churches in Asia Minor and Greece; watched over all their spiritual affairs, and completed in bonds his apostolic fidelity to the Lord and his church.418 In the Roman prison he wrote the Epistles to the Colossians, Ephesians, Philippians, and Philemon. 6. A.D. 63 and 64. With the second year of Paul’s imprisonment in Rome the account of Luke breaks off, rather abruptly, yet appropriately and grandly. Paul’s arrival in Rome secured the triumph of Christianity. In this sense it was true, "Roma locuta est, causa finita est." And he who spoke at Rome is not dead; he is still "preaching (everywhere) the kingdom of God and teaching the things concerning the Lord Jesus Christ, with all boldness, none forbidding him."419

• From Birthday Girl (2018)

  hoy. Es una buena niña. Espero que Cole no lo arruine, porque ya puedo decir que este es el tipo de chica que sería una buena madre y que trabajaría a tu lado, construyendo una vida en lugar de dejarte seco. Y por alguna razón me agrada que haya disfrutado el día. Nadie en mi familia se interesó mucho, ni se enorgulleció, de lo que hago para ganarme la vida. Mi madre me ama, por supuesto, al igual que mi papá antes de morir, pero presionaron tanto para que fuera a la universidad, y ese fue el plan hasta que llegó Cole. Siempre fue una decepción que me quedara en este pueblo y trabajara en algo que pensaban que requería más fuerza que cerebro. Sin embargo, cuando fundé Lawson Construction, mi propio negocio, y construí mi propio hogar, siempre me miraban como si quisieran algo mejor, pero sabían que era inútil decir algo. Se habían dado por vencidos. No es que odiaran lo que hice, o que no estuvieran contentos con el hombre en el que me he convertido. Lloraron mis oportunidades perdidas y todavía estaban preocupados por la felicidad de su hijo. Lo que no se dieron cuenta, sin embargo, es que ahora tengo mi propio hijo y su felicidad es lo primero. Y realmente amo muchas cosas sobre lo que hago. Consigo horas de aire fresco todos los días, el sol, el ejercicio... Es una buena vida. Duermo bien por la noche. Es agradable ver que otra persona lo disfrute como yo. —Mi día está arruinado ahora —dice Jordan—. Nada sobrepasará eso. —¿Sobrepasar qué? —respondo—. ¿Mojarte bajo la lluvia? —Y jugar en el barro. Sonrío y sacudo la cabeza cuando entro en mi calzada. —Eso no es jugar en el barro. Se vuelve hacia mí. —Oh, ¿te refieres a enlodarse? ¿Por eso tu camioneta se ve tan desagradable? Me burlo y apago el auto, lanzándola una mirada. —Niña, si puedes decir de qué color es la pintura, entonces no estás usando tu camioneta correctamente. ¿Lo entiendes? Pone los ojos en blanco y abre la puerta del auto. Los dos bajamos y nos dirigimos al porche. Ahora que lo pienso, si no le importara mojarse y ensuciarse hoy, probablemente le encantaría enlodarse. No lo he hecho en mucho tiempo. Mi camioneta solo se ve desagradable porque nunca la lavo. Eso no es natural.

• From City of Night (1963)

  Withholding the pictures dramatically, he said proudly: “These are only some of my Converts. People just Radiate toward me. And I open the world theyve been hunting—hunting, mind you, without even knowing it sometimes. That way, I help them find Themselves.” He spoke as if delivering a familiar speech. “You should see some of the ones that come to me—so timid: Just knowing someone like Me exists helps them. Even the first time, they walk out the door differently: Proud. Erect. Glad to be: Men!... I lead them carefully. I open doors for them, slowly.... They call me up—I had a call from a youngman in Seattle the other day. He’d heard about me, through friends—and he wanted to come down especially to see me. Why, I get calls all the time from Los Angeles.... And, well, Whu-I NOT?” He attempted another shrug, again frustrated. Dreamily: “I like to see youngmen coming out—I like to see them—well, flower out—...Rather,” he corrected himself hastily, “I like to see them burst out Violently! And I watch them move in the direction they were meant to go. Theyre like Disciples, discovering The Way.... Sometimes,” he said wistfully, assuming a benign look as he gathered his hands over the photographs on his lap, “sometimes—I get the feeling that Im something of a—... yes, something of a Saint.” I look at “The Saint” in the strange costume. His stare challenges mine. With a flourish, he spreads the photographs on a table before me as proudly as a peacock spreads his tail. There are youngmen dressed as military officers of long-ago periods, cowboys, motorcyclists, policemen, pirates, gladiators.... Single, they seem to have menaced the camera. In groups, they depict scenes of violence.... I lay the pictures down without looking at the rest. “I took every one of them myself,” he sighed. The cat had returned surreptitiously, winding in and out of Neil’s legs. Again, he shoved it away with his boot, this time much more violently. He watched as the cat moves away. “And now!” Neil announced. “Ill show you My Real Collection!—the most complete in California—and (Whu-I NOT) possibly in the United States!—though Ive heard theres a man near Griffith Park in Los Angeles who has a pretty good collection,” he condescended. “His name is—... Dan? Stan? Something like that. But Ive been told hes not at all like Me!” He ushered me into the bedroom. When he pushed open the door, past which I thought I had seen an unmoving foot earlier, I start. There are two men in the bedroom: a policeman wearing sun-glasses and a motorcyclist, legs spread, hands planted on hips, his head thrust forward as if ready to attack with gloved, clenched fists.

• From Between Us

  We prepared her for the role of an individual who was valued in her own right. There are many practices to let middle-class American children know that they are valued individuals, but praising is a practice that is particularly emotionally arousing. With praise for children’s small early successes—such as holding a book right side up and early talking (“me happy”)—American middle-class parents not only teach their children the importance of those particular achievements, “but also hope to instill in them a generalized self- reliance that, it is thought, will stand them in good stead in their future pursuit of success and happiness.” As one of the moms in Miller’s research said: “[It is important to give] them enough love and praise so that they feel good about themselves, and then they can go and master the world.” The marking of small achievements by parents and other socializing agents paves the road for the child to feel good about themselves generally; it predisposes children to feel happy, proud, or full of self-esteem. Parenting websites in the U.S. now tell parents not to praise their children for just anything, and to give them a realistic sense of self, perhaps in an effort to tip the scale back a bit. Despite the new nuance, middle-class U.S. parents still want their kids to be convinced that they can obtain the place in the world that they clearly deserve, to feel secure and loved, and possibly also to feel unique and special. As one website puts it: “Give your child positive experiences. They will have the ability to experience positive experiences themselves and offer them to others. [If you g]ive your child negative experiences, [t]hey won’t have the kind of development necessary for them to thrive.” The shared wisdom is that positive feelings need to be fostered. Where I raised my children, it was hard to imagine putting an emphasis on shaming them, or putting fear in them. Like the Chicago moms in Miller’s research, I thought that “shaming children, disciplining them too harshly, or making invidious comparisons should be avoided because they damage self-esteem.” Numerous psychological studies have supported this view that shame is associated with low self-esteem and proneness to depression. Shaming practices have been linked to the development of aggressive and antisocial tendencies, and to a lack of empathy in children. It is hardly conceivable that shaming—by publicly mocking a child or humiliating them—would be the “go-to” socialization tool for middle-class white American parents. The reputation of corporal punishment as a strategy for socializing may even be worse than that of shame in WEIRD contexts. “Do not spank, no matter what,” is the popular advice.