Love

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From Comrade Loves of the Samurai (1972)

  It was the custom to give the palace a thorough cleaning on the thirteenth of December, and for the courtiers to change their old clothes for new and spotless garments. On that day, following a plan conceived by Korin's servant, Sohatjiro was introduced into the palace in a big bamboo basket, in which Korin had already sent some new soft robes to his mother. They succeeded in carrying Sohatjiro into the room adjoining the Lord's bedroom. Korin pretended that he had pains in the stomach, and kept the screen doors well oiled so as to be able to open them easily in the night. The first time Korin went out of the room, the Lord complained of the noise he made; but, as the night advanced, the latter fell into a deep sleep and started to snore very loudly. Then Korin, thinking that the moment had come when he might join his love, crept into the next room. The two lovers embraced and swore a faithful and changeless love until their deaths. They spoke very quietly, in a whisper, of their amorous pleasures; but by ill luck it happened that the Lord was wakened by their voices. He shouted: 'There is someone in the next room, and he shall not escape.'He grasped a spear, which was renting against his pillow, and rushed upon Sohatjiro as he turned to run away. But Korin seized him by the sleeve and said: 'It is not worthy of you, Lord, to agitate yourself in this way. Be caI beg you. There was no one here but I. I was only uttering certain complaints because of my pain. Forgive me, Lord, for having disturbed your sleep.' At that moment Sohatjiro Started to climb over the wall by the help of a large branch, and the Lord saw him. He Sternly questioned Korin; but the other denied everything. Then, since he had great love for Korin, the Lord thought that this was perhaps another evil badger haunting the garden, and he calmed himself. But one of the sentinels, Shinroku Kanai, came and said to the Lord: 'I saw the track of a man in this room, and himself with my own eyes in the garden. His hair was disordered and his actions were Strange. It must be Korin's secret lover. I advise the Lord to watch Korin.'But Korin answered bravely: 'My dear one has given me his life. He is my faithful lover. Even if I must die, I will not tell his name. I have already said this many times to my Lord.'He was calm and serene.

• From Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Cycle of Anxious Thoughts (2020)

  She’s also fearsome in the way she loves people and engages difficult issues. You’re going to find a boatload of love and truth in these pages. This book won’t just change the way you think; it will alter the way you live.” —BOB GOFF , New York Times best-selling author of Love Does and Everybody, Always [image "Book title, Get Out of Your Head, subtitle, Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts, author, Jennie Allen, imprint, WaterBrook" file=Image00018.jpg] GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, ESV® Text Edition® (2016), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (MSG ) are taken from The Message. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers Inc. Scripture quotations marked (NCV ) are taken from the New Century Version® . Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (NIV ) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version® , NIV® . Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked (NKJV ) are taken from the New King James Version® . Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (NLT ) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved. Hardcover ISBN 9781601429643 Ebook ISBN 9781601429667 Copyright © 2020 by Jennie Allen Cover design by Mark D. Ford and Kelly L. Howard Interior [image file=Image00019.jpg] uppercase and [image file=Image00020.jpg] lowercase font design by Lauren Akers. Used by permission. Published in association with the literary agency of Yates & Yates, www.yates2.com. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Published in the United States by WaterBrook, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. WATER BROOK ® and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Allen, Jennie, author. Title: Get out of your head : stopping the spiral of toxic thoughts / Jennie Allen.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  JEROME. We have often said that Peter had too hot a zeal, and a very great affection towards the Lord the Saviour. Therefore after that his confession, and the reward of which he had heard from the Saviour, he would not have that his confession destroyed, and thought it impossible that the Son of God could be put to death, but takes Him to him affectionately, or takes Him aside that he may not seem to be rebuking his Master in the presence of his fellow disciples, and begins to chide Him with the feeling of one that loved Him, and to contradict Him, and say, Be it far from thee, Lord; or as it is better in the Greek, ἵλεώς σοι Κύριε, οὐ μὴ ἔσται σοι τοῦτο, that is, Be propitious to Thyself, Lord, this shall not be unto Thee. ORIGEN. As though Christ Himself had needed a propitiation. His affection Christ allows, but charges him with ignorance; as it follows, He turned and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan, thou art an offence unto me. HILARY. The Lord, knowing the suggestion of the craft of the devil, says to Peter, Get thee behind me; that is, that he should follow the example of His passion; but to him by whom this expression was suggested, He turns and says, Satan, thou art an offence unto me. For we cannot suppose that the name of Satan, and the sin of being an offence, would be imputed to Peter after those so great declarations of blessedness and power that had been granted him. JEROME. But to me this error of the Apostle, proceeding from the warmth of his affection, will never seem a suggestion of the devil. Let the thoughtful reader consider that that blessedness of power was promised to Peter in time to come, not given him at the time present; had it been conveyed to him immediately, the error of a false confession would never have found place in him. CHRYSOSTOM. For what wonder is it that this should befal Peter, who had never received a revelation concerning these things? For that you may learn that that confession which he made concerning Christ was not spoken of himself, observe how in these things which had not been revealed to him, he is at a loss. Estimating the things of Christ by human and earthly principles, he judged it mean and unworthy of Him that He should suffer. Therefore the Lord added, For thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.

• From Between Us

  In the middle of this stressful procedure—right after preparing the speech—some participants wrote a letter to someone they felt close to, seeking social support for the upcoming tasks. This helped the white American individuals—their stress levels went down—but it did not reduce stress in Asian American individuals. Was there anything else that could reduce the stress of the Asian American participants? Yes, there was, but it was not seeking closeness or social support. Instead, their stress went down when they thought about “a group that they were close to” and wrote “about the aspects of that group that were important to them.” In Asian American contexts, people do not seek active affirmation from others, but they still find it good to know that they are part of a group when the going gets tough. What can we learn from these and like-minded studies? Love is an invention of societies that are organized around autonomous individuals; it is needed less in societies where the relationship networks are unquestioned and permanent. It is no coincidence that love is so central in modern child-rearing: in WEIRD cultures where we raise our children for independence, we need to assure them that we as parents stay close, because they are so special. As indispensable as it now seems to healthy child development, it has not always been the “right” emotion in the relationship between parents and children. “I love you” is a fairly modern invention, but human relationships are not. No human being lives by themselves: we all need and value social relationships. But the “right” emotions, the emotions that regulate those relationships to the needs of the social context, are different. Love is right in an individualist culture, where autonomous individuals seek to connect. Amae and fago may be the right emotions in collectivist cultures where relationship partners seek to meet each other’s needs. In cultures where strong ties exist and people are inherently interconnected, individuals may be more focused on limiting the burden on themselves, or avoiding the burden on others. It cannot be ruled out that some form of love occurs in these cultures as well, but love is not “right” in the same way as it is in WEIRD cultures. There are many kinds of “love,” all of which spin the connection between people. Nobody would confuse romantic love with parental love (and if they did, we would strongly condemn this confusion). But it is even more true when we look at collectivist cultures: emotions of connection do many different things, ranging from helping another person in need to making another person feel unique, from maintaining existing connections to procuring new ones, from providing another person with material resources to cherishing time together. Which emotion is “right” depends on the context. Happiness

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  BEDE. It is customary to mourn over the death of friends; and thus the Jews explained our Lord’s weeping: Then said the Jews, Behold how He loved him. AUGUSTINE. (Tr. xlix. 21) Loved him. Our Lord came not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance. And some of them said, Could not this Man which opened the eyes of the blind, have caused that even this man should not have died? He was about to do more than this, to raise him from death. CHRYSOSTOM. (Hom. lxiii. 1) It was His enemies who said this. The very works, which should have evidenced His power, they turn against Him, as if He had not really done them. This is the way that they speak of the miracle of opening the eyes of the man that was born blind. They even prejudge Christ before He has come to the grave, and have not the patience to wait for the issue of the matter. Jesus therefore again groaning in Himself, cometh to the grave. That He wept, and He groaned, are mentioned to shew us the reality of His human nature. John who enters into higher statements as to His nature than any of the other Evangelists, also descends lower than any in describing His bodily affections. AUGUSTINE. (Tr. xlix) And do thou too groan in thyself, if thou wouldest rise to new life. To every man is this said, who is weighed down by any vicious habit. It was a cave, and a stone lay upon it. The dead under the stone is the guilty under the Law. For the Law, which was given to the Jews, was graven on stone. And all the guilty are under the Law, for the Law was not made for a righteous man. BEDE. A cave is a hollow in a rock. It is called a monument, because it reminds us of the dead. Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. CHRYSOSTOM. (Hom. lxiii. 2) But why did He not raise him without taking away the stone? Could not He who moved a dead body by His voice, much more have moved a stone? He purposely did not do so, in order that the miracle might take place in the sight of all; to give no room for saying, as they had said in the case of the blind man, This is not he. Now they might go into the grave, and feel and see that this was the man. AUGUSTINE. (Tr. xlix. c. 22) Take ye away the stone; mystically, Take away the burden of the law, proclaim grace. AUGUSTINE. (lib. 83. Quæst. qu. 61) Perhaps those are signified who wished to impose the rite of circumcision on the Gentile converts; or men in the Church of corrupt life, who offend believers.

• From Between Us

  Being Connected and Feeling GoodWho would not want a life full of love and happiness? We may assume these emotions are “right” in all cultures, yet the universality of the desire to love and be happy is more controversial than you may think. Lives in many cultures are not geared towards maximizing love and happiness—at least not if we define love and happiness in the ways they are typically used in middle-class American, or other WEIRD, contexts. Instead, love and happiness are irrelevant, even “wrong.” For all the progress “positive psychology” research has made in understanding flourishing, it has missed out on culture; the enterprise has been WEIRD. Where positive emotions were traditionally not seen as doing anything in particular, psychologists have now started to ask, how do positive emotions act? Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson describes their role as “broadening and building.” For “broadening,” think of the energy that happiness infuses, making you want to “play and get involved,” or alternatively, of “the urge to explore to learn, to immerse oneself in . . . novelty” that is inherent to interest. For “building,” think of emotions such as gratitude and love, and the role they play in building the most important resource of all: the social connection with others. In this chapter, we will explore the role of two such positive emotions, love and happiness. We’ll see that “being connected” and “feeling good” are universal themes of flourishing, but just as how angers and shames operate within the bounds of the relationships in which they occur, we will see that loves and happinesses are tailored to interactions and relationships in particular cultural contexts. Love Love is a staple of Western cultures. In a U.S. American study from the late 1980s, college students recognized love as “the best example” of an emotion. In a Canadian study around the same time, students agreed that love “is one of the most important human emotions” and that “in our culture, we learn about love from childhood on.” The Canadian students distinguished at least 123 different types of love, but found maternal, paternal, friendship, sibling, and romantic love the best examples of love.

• From Escape (2007)

  Being pregnant, sick, and a second-grade teacher was not nearly as stressful as being pregnant, sick, and a college student. I spent much of the day running down the hall from my classroom to vomit in the bathroom. Sometimes I didn’t make it and I threw up in the nearest garbage can. The other teachers worried about me and urged me to go home and rest, but I was committed to my second graders. As it had in the past, pregnancy seemed to make me more desirable to Merril, although I was still so malnourished that I never looked very big. Even though it was supposed to be taboo in our culture, Merril continued to have sex with me while I was pregnant. Now that I had children, they had become fair game for the other wives when they wanted to create conflict for me. Arthur was targeted as a toddler because he was very cute and looked a lot like Merril. The other wives were threatened by this because they were afraid Arthur would be more favored than their own children. There wasn’t a move Arthur could make without being chastised for being a bad baby. They’d insist Arthur was full of rebellion and condemn me for being a bad mother. The pressure was unrelenting. Any wife could discipline another woman’s children. When a woman in the FLDS wanted to sabotage a rival wife, she’d attack her children by exaggerating or inventing bad behavior so they could be punished. Wives were endlessly jockeying to become the favorite wife and gain as much power as they could within the family. In our family I had some protection because the other wives knew Merril liked to have sex with me and they were slightly intimidated about attacking my children. I think they feared that Merril might side with me if I protested. They never dared hit my children when I was home. If anything happened, it was when I was out of the house or teaching school. I always retaliated when I heard about it by confronting the woman who did it. She would say the children were Merril’s, not mine, and that if I wasn’t willing to raise them correctly, she was obliged to step in.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  ALCUIN. He is called Simon, son of John, John being his natural father. But mystically, Simon is obedience, John grace, a name well befitting him who was so obedient to God’s grace, that he loved our Lord more ardently than any of the others. Such virtue arising from divine gift, not mere human will. AUGUSTINE. While our Lord was being condemned to death, he feared, and denied Him. But by His resurrection Christ implanted love in his heart, and drove away fear. Peter denied, because he feared to die: but when our Lord was risen from the dead, and by His death destroyed death, what should he fear? He saith unto Him, Yea, Lord; Thou knowest that I love Thee. On this confession of his love, our Lord commends His sheep to him: He saith unto him, Feed My lambs: as if there were no way of Peter’s shewing his love for Him, but by being a faithful shepherd, under the chief Shepherd. CHRYSOSTOM. (Hom. lxxxviii. 1) That which most of all attracts the Divine love is care and love for our neighbour. Our Lord passing by the rest, addresses this command to Peter: he being the chief of the Apostles, the mouth of the disciples, and head of the college. Our Lord remembers no more his sin in denying Him, or brings that as a charge against him, but commits to him at once the superintendence over his brethren. If thou lovest Me, have rule over thy brethren, shew forth that love which thou hast evidenced throughout, and that life which thou saidst thou wouldest lay down for Me, lay down for the sheep. He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou Me? He saith unto Him, Yea, Lord; Thou knowest that I love Thee. AUGUSTINE. (Tract. cxxii) Well doth He say to Peter, Lovest thou Me (ἀγαπᾶς diligis), and Peter answer, Amo Te (φελῶ amo), and our Lord replies again, Feed My lambs. Whereby, it appears that amor and dilectio are the same thing: especially as our Lord the third time He speaks does not say, Diligis Me, but Amas Me. He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou Me? A third time our Lord asks Peter whether he loves Him. Three confessions are made to answer to the three denials; that the tongue might shew as much love as it had fear, and life gained draw out the voice as much as death threatened. CHRYSOSTOM. (Hom. lxxxviii) A third time He asks the same question, and gives the same command; to shew of what importance He esteems the superintendence of His own sheep, and how He regards it as the greatest proof of love to Him. THEOPHYLACT. Thence is taken the custom of threefold confession in baptism.

• From Escape (2007)

  I thought I was doing well, too, until I was knocked down again by PTSD. I had a fever and chills and felt completely debilitated. That’s when I learned what caring meant. Brian was on the phone to me several times a day. I had never been protected before, never known what it felt like to really matter to someone. I had never been more than property to Merril. Now I was not only a person but a cherished one at that. I could feel emotions that had been cut off and cauterized coming back to life. Even when I was sick, I was more alive in spirit than I had been during my seventeen years of marriage. The fever and chills spiraled into pneumonia that winter. One Saturday I found I couldn’t breathe very well and I thought I’d stay in and try to get better. I went to find LuAnne to help with Harrison and found that Betty and LuAnne were both missing. It had been several months since Betty had last taken off, because I think she and Merril both knew it wasn’t working to their advantage. This was the first time Merril had tried to take more than one of my children, however. The first thing I did was call Brian. I told him I was too sick to call the police. I was sure the girls were in Colorado City. Brian pushed me to call the authorities, walking me through it step by step. I promised him I would. Then I remembered that Arizona law enforcement had put an investigator in the community in 2004 as an outsider to help people like me. Gary Engels worked out of a trailer he shared with social service workers from Child Protective Services. The idea was to give women a place to turn to for help—but very few used it. This was the first time there had ever been any real law enforcement in the community—all the other police were FLDS members who looked the other way. The local police followed him with guns whenever he moved about the community. “There is nothing like this in America,” Engels told the Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks hate crimes in America. “It’s like a fiefdom. Everyone lives and survives by the will of Warren Jeffs. He can take away your family, your business, and your home. What king ever had that power?”

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  CHRYSOSTOM. (Hom. lxxxvii) Our Lord having made Peter declare his love, informs him of his future martyrdom; an intimation to us how we should love: Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest. He reminds him of his former life, because, whereas in worldly matters a young man has powers, an old man none; in spiritual things, on the contrary, virtue is brighter, manliness stronger, in old age; age is no hindrance to grace. Peter had all along desired to share Christ’s dangers; so Christ tells him, Be of good cheer; I will fulfil thy desire in such a way, that what thou hast not suffered when young, thou shalt suffer when old: But when thou art old. Whence it appears, that he was then neither a young nor an old man, but in the prime of life. ORIGEN. (super. Matt.) It is not easy to find any ready to pass at once from this life; and so he says to Peter, When thou art old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hand. AUGUSTINE. (Tract. cxxiii. 5) That is, shalt be crucified. And to come to this end, Another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not. First He said what would come to pass, secondly, how it would come to pass. For it was not when crucified, but when about to be crucified, that he was led whither he would not. He wished to be released from the body, and be with Christ; but, if it were possible, he wished to attain to eternal life without the pains of death: to which he went against his will, but conquered by the force of his will, and triumphing over the human feeling, so natural a one, that even old age could not deprive Peter of it. But whatever be the pain of death, it ought to be conquered by the strength of love for Him, Who being our life, voluntarily also underwent death for us. For if there is no pain in death, or very little, the glory of martyrdom would not be great. CHRYSOSTOM. (Hom. lxxxviii) He says, Whither thou wouldest not, with reference to the natural reluctance of the soul to be separated from the body; an instinct implanted by God to prevent men putting an end to themselves. Then raising the subject, the Evangelist says, This spake He, signifying by what death he should glorify God: not, should die: he expresses himself so, to intimate that to suffer for Christ was the glory of the sufferer. (non occ.). But unless the mind is persuaded that He is very God, the sight of Him can in no way enable us to endure death. Wherefore the death of the saints is certainty of divine glory.

• From In Search of Paul: How Jesus's Apostle Opposed Rome's Empire with God's Kingdom (2005)

  At the start of his letter Paul recalls their “work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Thess. 1:3). And, again at the end, he encourages them to “put on the breastplate of faith and love, and for a helmet the hope of salvation” (5:8). What does Paul mean by love? To love meant to share, a love assembly was a share-assembly, a love meal was a share-meal. That is already clear in this present letter. “So deeply do we care for you that we are determined to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you have become very dear to us” (2:8). Put together, then, the class status of the Thessalonian assembly with that loving as sharing; clearly the sharing was from want to want rather than from plenty to plenty. And do not think of it as humanly extensive charity, a free giving of our stuff, but as divinely distributive justice, a necessary sharing of God’s stuff. For Paul, a Christian assembly of sisters and brothers was one that had committed itself to sharing together just as in an ordinary human family because it actually was a divine family, the family of God. This commonality was basic to Pauline Christianity, and it explains the emphasis on working in this letter. The specter of the lazy freeloader already shadowed the theology of creation behind Christian sharing, and it continued into the post-Pauline letter we call 2 Thessalonians. Now we command you, beloved, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to keep away from believers who are living in idleness and not according to the tradition that they received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us; we were not idle when we were with you, and we did not eat anyone’s bread without paying for it; but with toil and labor we worked night and day, so that we might not burden any of you. This was not because we do not have that right, but in order to give you an example to imitate. For even when we were with you, we gave you this command: Anyone unwilling to work should not eat. For we hear that some of you are living in idleness, mere busybodies, not doing any work. Now such persons we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. (2 Thess 3:6–12)

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  AUGUSTINE. (Tract. cxxiv.) Or perhaps he will allow that John still lies in his sepulchre at Ephesus, but asleep, not dead; and will give us a proof, that the soil over his grave is moist and watery, owing to his respiration. But why should our Lord grant it as a great privilege to the disciple whom He loved, that he should sleep this long time in the body, when he released Peter front the burden of the flesh by a glorious martyrdom, and gave him what Paul had longed for, when he said, I have a desire to depart and be with Christ? If there really takes place at John’s grave that which report says, it is either done to commend his precious death, since that had not martyrdom to commend it, or for some other cause not known to us. Yet the question remains, Why did our Lord say of one who was about to die, I will that he tarry till I come? It may be asked too why our Lord loved John the most, when Peter loved our Lord the most? I might easily reply, that the one who loved Christ the more, was the better man, and the one whom Christ loved the more, the more blessed; only this would not be a defence of our Lord’s justice. This important question then I will endeavour to answer. The Church acknowledges two modes of life, as divinely revealed, that by faith, and that by sight. The one is represented by the Apostle Peter, in respect of the primacy of his Apostleship; the other by John: wherefore to the one it is said, Follow Me, i. e. imitate Me in enduring temporal sufferings; of the other it is said, I will that he tarry till I come: as if to say, Do thou follow Me, by the endurance of temporal sufferings, let him remain till I come to give everlasting bliss; or to open out the meaning more, Let action be perfected by following the example of My Passion, but let contemplation wait inchoate till at My coming it be completed: wait, not simply remain, continue, but wait for its completion at Christ’s coming. Now in this life of action it is true, the more we love Christ, the more we are freed from sin; but He does not love us as we are, He frees us from sin, that we may not always remain as we are, but He loves us heretofore rather, because hereafter we shall not have that which displeases Him, and which He frees us from. So then let Peter love Him, that we may be freed from this mortality; let John be loved by Him, that we may be preserved in that immortality. John loved less than Peter, because, as he represented that life in which we are much more loved, our Lord said, I will that he remain (i. e. wait) till I come; seeing that that greater love we have not yet, but wait till we have it at His coming. And this intermediate state is represented by Peter who loves, but is loved less, for Christ loves us in our misery less than in our blessedness: and we again love the contemplation of truth such as it will be then, less in our present state, because as yet we neither know nor have it. But let none separate those illustrious Apostles; that which Peter represented, and that which John represented, both were sometime to be.

• From Three Women (2019)

  The women pass around the bottle of chardonnay. They sip their wine and don’t worry about the dinners they’re late to making. They lean forward into the guilty attraction of Lina’s story. Let me tell y’all, she says, about this man. Aidan is tall with a square jaw and cobalt-blue eyes. He has the black-and-white face of someone who has gone to war. Lina tells the room that when he’s not with her he is thinking of her. When he’s not with Lina he’s hacksawing and building onto his place so he can raise the value of his home, so he can sell it, so he can leave behind his mistaken life. The woman he married doesn’t love him. She semi-cheats on him. She makes out with guys, she texts with her ex. But she holds Aidan tethered, because the hours he spends working on the construction site pay for her Downtown Brown manicures, her Forever 21 terry dresses, and she jokes with her friends that the store is called Forever 34 when they’re out at local bars wearing the dresses and sidling up against strangers and having blue island drinks in the middle of maroon Indiana winters. Sometimes he will be in the double-wide on the job site and the music from the nearest modern country station will be sort of crackly but he will hear it and it’s funny when you’re in love or about to fall back in love, it’s funny how every single song is about that person. It’s funny how that works.

• From Three Women (2019)

  He is a good man, Lina says. He has made mistakes but all good men do. Good men are flawed but even. There is a shortage of real men in America and Lina is not talking about Marlboro Men with mustaches who pound raw burger meat. She is talking about actual men, who stand up straight and hold doors open and go down for hours and make money and whether it’s honest or dishonest they are honest about how it’s made. And they’re interesting, doesn’t matter what they do or where they live, they’re just interesting, they have some stories you’ll hear after you’ve known them for a few months and some stories you’ll never hear even if you’re their brother. When men like Aidan tell a story, it isn’t so you’ll think they’re cool, it’s because this is a story that wants to get heard, and usually you need to coax it out of them, or maybe there’s a woman at the table and she begs a little for it, because one thing that really separates good men from everybody else is this: real men, guys from backwoods Maine and the tough zones of Philly and the rusty thickets of southern Indiana, they love women, and sex, and as strong as they are, they can be swayed a centimeter or two by pussy, and Lina doesn’t like using that word because it’s more than that, but the word also stands for so much more than it sounds like. Anyway, the other kind of men, the men who make up most of the world, they’ll be dirtier once they get a woman in a bedroom, they’ll ask for things they shouldn’t ask for and they’ll leave in the morning without class, but they won’t be swayed in a bar, or at dinner, they won’t do something they don’t want to do for a woman, because they don’t have the intrinsic manly love for a woman that exists in abundance in a man like Aidan Hart. Aidan. The women are pitched forward, like soup tureens in an earthquake. Their chins are on the heels of their hands, and they are eating mixed nuts nervously. Oh my, says Cathy. That sounds like quite a man, and a real love affair. How did it end? someone asks, because women are often better at handling the endings than the beginnings. Lina understands that some women, like her mother and her sisters, truly care for another woman only when that woman is in pain, especially in a kind of pain that they have already felt, and then overcome. How did it end, Lina repeats softly. It ended badly. Some of the women gasp. Cathy places her hand over Lina’s.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  3. Then took Mary a pound of ointment of spikenard, very costly, and anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped his feet with her hair: and the house was filled with the odour of the ointment. 4. Then saith one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, which should betray him, 5. Why was not this ointment sold for three hundred pence, and given to the poor? 6. This he said, not that he cared for the poor; but because he was a thief, and had the bag, and bare what was put therein. 7. Then said Jesus, Let her alone: against the day of my burying hath she kept this. 8. For the poor always ye have with you; but me ye have not always. 9. Much people of the Jews therefore knew that he was there: and they came not for Jesus’ sake only, but that they might see Lazarus also, whom he had raised from the dead. 10. But the chief priests consulted that they might put Lazarus also to death: 11. Because that by reason of him many of the Jews went away, and believed on Jesus. ALCUIN. As the time approached in which our Lord had resolved to suffer, He approached the place which He had chosen for the scene of His suffering: Then Jesus six days before the passover came to Bethany. First, He went to Bethany, then to Jerusalem; to Jerusalem to suffer, to Bethany to keep alive the recollection of the recent resurrection of Lazarus; Where Lazarus was, which had been dead, whom He raised from the dead. THEOPHYLACT. On the tenth day of the month they took the lamb which was to be sacrificed on the passover, and from that time began the preparation for the feast. Or rather the ninth day of the month, i. e. six days before the passover, was the commencement of the feast. They feasted abundantly on that day. Thus we find Jesus partook of a banquet at Bethany: There they made Him a supper, and Martha served. That Martha served, shews that the entertainment was in her house. See the fidelity of the woman: she does not leave the task of serving to the domestics, but takes it upon herself. The Evangelist adds, in order, it would seem, to settle Lazarus’ resurrection beyond dispute, But Lazarus was one of them that sat at the table with Him. AUGUSTINE. (Tr. l. 5) He lived, talked, feasted; the truth was established, the unbelief of the Jews confounded. CHRYSOSTOM. (Hom. lxv) Mary did not take part in serving the guests generally, but gave all her attention to our Lord, treating Him not as mere man, but as God: Then took Mary a pound of spikenard, very costly, and anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped His feet with her hair. AUGUSTINE. (Tr. l. 6) The word pistici seems to be the name of some place, from which this precious ointment came.

• From Paul and Palestinian Judaism (40th Anniversary Edition) (2017)

  tsaddiqim) occurs almost as often: we have already seen numerous examples, and they are listed by Gray. The pious or righteous are also called the 'poor' (5.2; 15.2 [1); cf. 16.14.),36 the humble (5.14 [12)), those who fear the Lord (2.37 [33); 3.16 [12); 4.26 [23); 5.21 (18); 6.8 [5); 13.11 [12)), and those who love God (6.9 (6]; 10.4; 14.1). 37 The righteous are also indicated by the second person plural pronoun: 'we' or 'us': 4.27 (23); 5.9 (7); 7.8f. (9f.); 9.16 (8). Most striking, the righteous are also called 'Israel' and other equivalent phrases: 5.21 (18); 11.2 (1); 12.7 (6); 10.6 (5); 14.3 (5). It is evident that all these terms refer to the same group. Many of them occur in one psalm, Psalm 14. God is faithful to those who love him, who endure his chastening and who walk in his commandments, that is, in the law which he commanded us. The pious live by the law and are the 'Paradise of the Lord'. They shall never be uprooted, since Israel is God's portion. Their opposites are the sinners and transgressors ( 14.4 [6]), who shall be destroyed. But the righteous shall obtain mercy and the pious inherit life. Parallelism of the terms in numerous other passages indicates their basic synonymity. Thus the pious are parallel with those who fear God in 13.11 (12); the righteous, the pious, those who call upon God and those who fear him are all parallel in 2.37-40 (32-6); Israel, the pious and the poor are parallel in 10.6-8 (5-7); Israel is parallel with the pious in 12.7 (6); Israel is parallel with those who fear God in 5.21 (18); Israel is parallel to 'we' or 'us' in 7.8 (8-9), and the house of Jacob is parallel to 'us' in the next verse; the equation of 'us' with Israel is also seen in 9.14-19 (7-10) (v. 17 [9]: 'Thou didst choose the seed of Abraham ... And didst set Thy name upon us ... ')and in 8.33f. (27f.). Those who fear the Lord are parallel to 'us' in 4.26f. (23). These interlocking parallelisms, and others which might be cited, show beyond question that the terms all refer to the same group. 38 The characteristics of the righteous or the pious are readily described. They obey the law (14.1 (2)) and are scrupulous to avoid even sins of ig norance (3.8 [7]); they do not pile sin on sin (3.7 [6]), but are steadfast (ibid.), although they may stumble (3.5). They always give thanks to God, even when they suffer, for they see in suffering God's chastening (3.4; IO.If.; 14.1). No matter what their plight, they always declare God to be right (3.3,5; 2.16 (15] and elsewhere). They remember the Lord and pati ently call upon him (3.3; 2.40 [36); 6.1f.). Despite their scrupulousness in avoiding sin, they may still sin, in which case they atone and repent (3.9 [8]; 9. 11-15 [6f.]). Some of their characteristics are evident from what they

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  Hence God’s grace is designated in Scripture as being a kind of light; for the Apostle says (Ephes. 5:8): You were heretofore darkness, but now light in the Lord. And it is fitting that the perfection whereby man is assisted towards his last end, which consists in seeing God, be named light, which is a principle of vision. Hereby we refute the opinion of those who say that grace places nothing in man: even as nothing is posited in a man by saying that he has the king’s favour (gratiam), but only in the king himself who loves him. It is clear, then, that they were deceived through not observing the difference between divine and human love. For God’s love causes the good which He loves in a man: whereas human love does not so always. CHAPTER CLI THAT SANCTIFYING GRACE CAUSES IN US THE LOVE OF GODFROM what has been said it follows that by the assistance of sanctifying grace man is enabled to love God. For sanctifying grace is an effect in man of the divine love. Now, the proper effect of the divine love in man would seem to be that man loves God. Because the chief thing in the intention of one who loves, is that he be loved in return: since the endeavour of the lover tends especially to draw the beloved to love of him: and unless he accomplishes this, love must cease. Consequently the effect of sanctifying grace in man is that he loves God. Again. Things that have a common end must be united in so far as they are directed to that end: hence in a state men are joined together in concord that they may ensure the good of the commonwealth; and soldiers, when engaged in battle, must needs be united together, and act in unison in order to achieve the victory which is their common end. Now, the last end to which man is conducted by the assistance of divine grace, is the vision of God in His essence, which vision is proper to God himself: so that this final good is communicated to man by God. Consequently man cannot attain to this end unless he be united to God by conformity of will. And this is the proper effect of love; since it is proper to friends to like and dislike the same things, and to have common joys and griefs. Therefore by sanctifying grace man becomes a lover of God: because by it man is directed to an end communicated to him by God.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  Also. Since the end and the good is the proper object of the appetite or affections, it follows that man’s affective faculty is perfected chiefly by sanctifying grace which directs man to his last end. Now, the chief perfection of the affective faculty is love. A sign of which is that every affective movement originates in love: for no one desires, or hopes, or rejoices, save on account of a good that he loves; and in like manner no one shuns, or fears, or grieves, or is angry, except on account of something contrary to that which he loves. Therefore the principal effect of sanctifying grace is that man loves God. Further. The form by virtue of which a thing is directed to its end, likens that thing somewhat to that end: thus a body by virtue of the form of gravity assumes a certain likeness to and conformity with the place to which its movement tends naturally. Now, we have already shown that sanctifying grace is a form residing in man, and directing him to his last end, which is God. Therefore grace makes man like to God. But likeness is the cause of love; because like loves like. Therefore grace makes man a lover of God. Moreover. Operation, to be perfect, must be constant and prompt. Now, this is the chief effect of love, which makes even hard things seem light. Since then sanctifying grace is needed for the perfection of human actions, as stated above, it follows of necessity that this same grace produces in us the love of God. Hence the Apostle says (Rom. 5:5): The charity of God is poured forth in our hearts, by the Holy Ghost who is given to us. Moreover our Lord promised the vision of Himself to those who love Him, saying (Jo. 14:21): He that loveth me, shall be loved of My Father: and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him. It is evident, then, that grace which directs us to that end which is to see God, causes in us the love of God. CHAPTER CLII THAT GRACE CAUSES FAITH IN USFORASMUCH as grace causes charity in us, it follows that faith also is caused in us by grace. Because the movement whereby we are directed by grace to our last end, is voluntary and not compulsory, as we have shown. Now there cannot be voluntary movement towards the unknown. Consequently, for us to be directed voluntarily to our last end, grace must first of all provide us with knowledge of that end. But this knowledge cannot be one of clear vision, in this state of life, as we have already proved. Therefore it must be knowledge by faith.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  AUGUSTINE. (Tract. cxxiii) He who denied and loved, died in perfect love for Him, for Whom he had promised to die with wrong haste. It was necessary that Christ should first die for Peter’s salvation, and then Peter die for Christ’s Gospel. 21:19–2319. And when he had spoken this, he saith unto him, Follow me. 20. Then Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple whom Jesus loved following; which also leaned on his breast at supper, and said, Lord, which is he that betrayeth thee? 21. Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, Lord, and what shall this man do? 22. Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me. 23. Then went this saying abroad among the brethren, that that disciple should not die: yet Jesus said not unto him, He shall not die; but, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? AUGUSTINE. (Tract. cxxiv) Our Lord having foretold to Peter by what death he should glorify God, bids him follow Him. And when He had spoken this, He saith unto him, Follow Me. Why does He say, Follow Me, to Peter, and not to the others who were present, who as disciples were following their Master? Or if we understand it of his martyrdom, was Peter the only one who died for the Christian truth? Was not James put to death by Herod? Some one will say that James was not crucified, and that this was fitly addressed to Peter, because he not only died, but suffered the death of the cross, as Christ did. THEOPHYLACT. Peter hearing that he was to suffer death for Christ, asks whether John was to die: Then Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple whom Jesus loved following; which also leaned on His breast at supper, and said, Lord, which is he that betrayeth Thee? Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, Lord, and what shall this man do? AUGUSTINE. (Tract. cxxiv) He calls himself the disciple whom Jesus loved, because Jesus had a greater and more familiar love for him, than for the rest; so that He made him lie on His breast at supper. In this way John the more commends the divine excellency of that Gospel which he preached. Some think, and they no contemptible commentators upon Scripture, that the reason why John was loved more than the rest, was, because he had lived in perfect chastity from his youth up. Then went this saying abroad among the brethren, that that disciple should not die: yet Jesus said not unto him, He shall not die; but, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? THEOPHYLACT. i. e. Shall he not die?

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  Here he gives the opinion of those who claimed that love is the first principle, although they did not hold this very explicitly or clearly. Accordingly, he says that some suspected that Hesiod had sought for such a principle to account for the good disposition of things, or anyone else who posited love or desire in nature. For when Parmenides attempted to explain the generation of the universe, he said that in the establishing of the universe “ Love, the first of all the gods, was made. ” Nor is this opposed to his doctrine that there is one immobile being, of which Aristotle speaks here; because this man held that there are many things according to the senses, although there is only one thing according to reason, as was stated above and will be stated below. Moreover, he called the celestial bodies, or perhaps certain separate substances, gods. 102. But Hesiod said that first of all there was chaos, and then broad earth was made, to be the receptacle of everything else; for it is evident that the receptacle [or void] and place are principles, as is stated in Book IV of the Physics. And he also held that love, which instructs all the immortals, is a principle of things. He did this because the communication of goodness seems to spring from love, for a good deed is a sign and effect of love. Hence, since corruptible things derive their being and every good disposition from immortal beings of this kind, this must be attributed to the love of the immortals. Furthermore, he held that the immortals are either the celestial bodies themselves, or material principles themselves. Thus he posited chaos and love as though there had to be in existing things not only a material cause of their motions, but also an efficient cause which moves and unites them, which seems to be the office of love. For love moves us to act, because it is the source of all the emotions, since fear, sadness and hope proceed only from love. That love unites things is clear from this, that love itself is a certain union between the lover and the thing loved, seeing that the lover regards the beloved as himself. This man Hesiod is to be numbered among the poets who lived before the time of the philosophers. 103. Now, as to which one of these thinkers is prior, i.e., more competent in knowledge, whether the one who said that love is the first principle, or the one who said hat intellect is, can be decided later on, that is, where God is discussed. He calls this decision an arrangement, because the degree of excellence belonging to each man is allotted to him in this way. Another translation states this more clearly: “ Therefore, in what order it is fitting to go over these thinkers, and who in this order is prior, can be decided later on. ” LESSON 6