Joy

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  This romantic picture shows that the monastic life had its ideal and poetic side for cultivated minds. In this region Basil, free from all cares, distractions, and interruptions of worldly life, thought that he could best serve God. "What is more blessed than to imitate on earth the choir of angels, at break of day to rise to prayer, and praise the Creator with anthems and songs; then go to labor in the clear radiance of the sun, accompanied everywhere by prayer, seasoning work with praise, as if with salt? Silent solitude is the beginning of purification of the soul. For the mind, if it be not disturbed from without, and do not lose itself through the senses in the world, withdraws into itself, and rises to thoughts of God." In the Scriptures he found, "as in a store of all medicines, the true remedy for his sickness." Nevertheless, he had also to find that flight from the city was not flight from his own self. "I have well forsaken," says he in his second Epistle,1950 "my residence in the city as a source of a thousand evils, but I have not been able to forsake myself. l am like a man who, unaccustomed to the sea, becomes seasick, and gets out of the large ship, because it rocks more, into a small skiff, but still even there keeps the dizziness and nausea. So is it with me; for while I carry about with me the passions which dwell in me, I am everywhere tormented with the same restlessness, so that I really get not much help from this solitude." In the sequel of the letter, and elsewhere, he endeavors, however, to show that seclusion from worldly business, celibacy, solitude, perpetual occupation with the Holy Scriptures, and with the life of godly men, prayer and contemplation, and a corresponding ascetic severity of outward life, are necessary for taming the wild passions, and for attaining the true quietness of the soul. He succeeded in drawing his friend Gregory to himself. Together they prosecuted their prayer, studies, and manual labor; made extracts from the works of Origen, which we possess, under the name of Philocalia, as the joint work of the two friends; and wrote monastic rules which contributed largely to extend and regulate the coenobite life.

• From White Oleander (1999)

  Her bedroom, which backed up to the deck through open French doors, was charming. The quilt on the low pine double bed, the armoire, the hope chest, and the rag rug. As I moved back into the hall, I could see them, heads together over the coffee table, looking at my file. “She’s had an incredibly hard time of it,” Joan Peeler was telling my new foster mother. “She was shot at one foster home…” Claire Richards shook her head in disbelief, that anyone could be so awful as to shoot a child. The bathroom would be my favorite room, I could tell that already. Tiled aqua and rose, the original twenties ceramic, a frosted glass enclosure on the tub, a swan swimming between cattails. There was something deeply familiar about the swan. Had we lived somewhere with swan-etched glass like this? Bottles and soaps and candles nestled on the bath tray that stretched between the two sides of the tub. I opened containers and smelled and rubbed things on my arms. Luckily the scars were fading, Claire Richards wouldn’t have to see the glaring red weals, she seemed the sensitive type. They were still discussing my case as I moved to the front bedroom. “She’s very bright, as I’ve said, but she’s missed a lot of school—all the moving, you understand—” “Maybe some tutoring,” Claire Richards said. My room. Soft pine twin beds, in case of sleepovers. Thin, old-fashioned patchwork quilts, real handmade quilts edged in eyelet lace. Calico half curtains, more eyelet. Pine desk, bookcase. A Dürer etching of a rabbit in a neat pinewood frame. It looked scared, every hair plain. Waiting to see what would happen. I sat down on the bed. I couldn’t picture myself filling this room, inhabiting it, imposing my personality here. Joan and I said our tearful good-byes, complete with hugs. “Well,” Claire Richards said brightly after the social worker had gone. I was sitting next to her on the free-form couch. She clutched her hands around her knees, smiled. “Here you are.” Her teeth were the blue-white of skim milk, translucent. I wished I could put her at ease. Although it was her house, she was more nervous than I was. “Did you see your room? I left it plain so you could put your own things up. Make it yours.” I wanted to tell her I wasn’t what she expected. I was different, she might not want me. “I like the Dürer.” She laughed, a short burst, clapped her hands together. “Oh, I think we’re going to get along fine. I’m only sorry Ron couldn’t be here. My husband. He’s in Nova Scotia shooting this week, he won’t be back until next Wednesday. But what can you do. Would you like some tea? Or a Coke? I bought Coke, I didn’t know what you’d drink. We also have juice, or I could make you a smoothie—” “Tea is fine,” I said.

• From The Sexual Life of Catherine M. (2001)

  That evening we ended up at Les Glycines, my first visit to a place that seemed enchanting. Claude, a friend called Henri and me made the most amicable trio. Henri lived in a tiny apartment on the rue de Chazel facing the pale roughcast surface of a high garden wall which hid a large private house. Because it was on the way, Claude and I used to stop off with Henri on our way home from our Sunday visit to our parents. The three of us would fuck together, both boys inside me at once, one in my mouth the other up my arse or my cunt, under the playful auspices of one of Martin Barré’s loveliest paintings; we called it ‘Spaghetti’ and it had been given to Henri by the artist himself. Afterwards we would look out of the window, watching the comings and goings at Les Glycines. Henri had heard that the club was used by film stars, and sometimes we would think we’d recognized someone. We were just kids, the best kind of gawpers, fascinated and amused by this secret activity which we didn’t even try to imagine, and actually more excited by the sight of things completely inaccessible to us: the swanky cars dropping people off, the classy deportment of the silhouettes who stepped out of them. When I went through the porch a few years later, I knew instantly that I preferred Chez Aimé’s spare style.

• From The New Testament (Great Courses) (1997)

  This struck many outsiders as bizarre and superstitious. Most Jews did not consider these laws (even the dietary ones) to be picayune requirements that few people wanted to follow and that nobody could. For comparison, consider the ancient Jewish legal code in light of our own. We too, for example, have laws against consuming certain edible sub- stances (especially certain liquids, powders, and tablets). And our own legal system is far more complicated than anything available to the ancient Jew, indeed far more complicated than the average citizen can possibly understand (just con- sider our tax laws!). By comparison with modem law, the law embodied in the Jewish Torah was not particularly harsh or onerous or complicated. And for ancient Jews it was not the law of political bureaucrats; it was the law of God. Keeping it was a great joy, because doing so showed that the Jews were the elect people of God. Temple and Synagogue: Israel's Places of Worship There were two particularly important institutions for Jewish worship in the first century: the Temple in Jerusalem, where the animal sacrifices so central to the prescriptions of the Torah were to be per- formed, and the local synagogues, where Jews throughout the empire could worship God by studying and discussing the Law in the context of communal gathering and prayers. The Jewish Temple. Jewish practices of animal sacrifice do not appear to have been so different from those of other ancient religions. Moreover, the Jewish Temple itself was not unlike other tem- ples, it was a sacred structure in which the deity was believed to dwell, where worshippers could come to perform cultic acts in his honor and in hopes of receiving divine benefits as a result. At the same time, the Jewish Temple was known to be one of the grandest in the world of antiquity, spo- ken of with praise and admiration even by those who were not among its devotees. In the days of Jesus, the Temple complex encompassed an area roughly 500 yards by 325 yards, large enough, as one modem scholar has pointed out, to enclose twelve soccer fields (Sanders 1992). From the out- side, its stone walls rose 100 feet from the street, as high as a modem ten-story building. No mortar had been used in its construction; instead, the 36 THE N[w TES-'r,,MENT: A Hs-romc, INTrODUCtiON Figure 2.8 A pictorial reconstruction of the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem. stones, some of them 50 yards in length, had been carefully cut to fit together neatly.

• From The Great Believers (2018)

  May the horse catch up.” —On the way to the El, Charlie said, “If you have to have a hot intern, at least it’s a Mormon virgin.” Yale laughed. “No, wait,” Charlie said, “not a virgin. He has a girlfriend, a little blonde girlfriend who lives, conveniently, three hours away. Sweater sets and pearls. Sees her every other weekend.” Yale said, “She can’t figure out why he won’t propose.” “Republican. She is, at least. And her parents. He pretends to be. He doesn’t actually vote.” “But his work is on Balthus!” Yale said. “Do you know who that is? All these naked young girls. Really controversial.” “Exactly.” “Exactly what?” “You have one confused turnip on your hands.” Yale, because the street was completely empty, swung Charlie around to kiss him. —Charlie had arranged to take the paper’s staff out for a year-end lunch the next day, before people headed to their various New Year’s Eve celebrations. Charlie and Yale were planning to visit Terrence at Masonic instead of partying. He’d called yesterday and said he was ready for visitors. Apparently they did a good job celebrating holidays on the new AIDS unit, but Terrence didn’t expect them to make a huge deal of ringing in a year few of them would see to the end. New Year’s was his favorite, though, and he wanted to do it right. Or at least as well as he could. Fiona would pop in early, but then she had to head back to her nanny job so the parents could go out on the town. “I need you guys too,” Terrence had said. “It doesn’t have to be midnight. I just want my party.” Yale could have used a real celebration, some pure stress relief—but the staff lunch counted, he supposed. He liked these people. They would celebrate now, and tonight Yale and Charlie would stay sober and walk to Masonic together. They’d sidestep puddles of vomit on the way home. At noon, twelve staffers plus Yale crowded around smashed-together tables at the Melrose. They passed around yesterday’s issue, containing Richard’s photo essay. The write-up of the fundraiser had appeared last Monday, but Richard had needed more time. This was art, not reportage. As the paper made its way toward the bench where Yale was sandwiched, he felt irrationally uneasy, as if Richard had managed a photo of him and Julian gazing at each other in the bathroom. But no. Here, instead, was a shot, snapped from below, of Yale and Charlie listening to the speeches, Yale looking emotional. It must have been taken right before he broke down. There was a shot, too, of Cecily laughing with two men—presumably the friends she came with. “What’s her deal?” Gloria asked and reached over to point. “She was cute.” Yale said, “Straight. And confused. She kind of hit on me once.” They all found this hilarious. Charlie called down the table, “Women used to hit on me all the time.

• From Christianity: The First Three Thousand Years, Part 2 (4 BCE – 451 CE) (2009)

  forty) Jesus removed his presence from his disciples – was taken up or carried into Heaven, as two of the Gospel writers put it. Later Christians commonly called this departure the Ascension, and on occasion its final last moment has been portrayed endearingly literally in Christian art, when all that can be seen are Christ’s feet disappearing into a cloud.51 Historians are never going to make sense of these reports, unless like some of those who first heard them they choose to regard them as simply ludicrous. Nevertheless they can hardly fail to note the extraordinary galvanizing energy of those who spread the story after their experience of Resurrection and Ascension, and they can reconstruct something of the resulting birth of the Christian Church, even if the story can never be more than fragmentary. Whether through some mass delusion, some colossal act of wishful thinking, or through witness to a power or force beyond any definition known to Western historical analysis, those who had known Jesus in life and had felt the shattering disappointment of his death proclaimed that he lived still, that he loved them still, and that he was to return to earth from the Heaven which he had now entered, to love and save from destruction all who acknowledged him as Lord.52 It is hardly surprising that in the two millennia of Christian history since these profound surprises and mysteries, Christianity has been a perpetual argument about meaning and reality. Readers of this book may become bewildered, bored or irritated by my extended discussions of the theological niceties which once aroused such passions among Christians; but no history of Christianity which tries to sidle past its theological disputes will make sense. The problem is simple in its utter complexity: how can a human being be God? Christians can be passionately convinced that they meet a fellow human in Jesus who is God, but they may not like the implications of this: how can God be involved in the unhygienic messiness of everyday life and remain God? There are basic problems of human dirt, waste and decay from which devotion recoils – yet without dirt, where is the real humanity of Christ, which tears other humans away from despair and oblivion towards joy and life? The variety of answers to these questions dominated the development of the Church in its first five centuries, and at no time have those who call themselves Christians reached unanimity on the puzzles. And the disagreements were not academic in any sense of the word; they were matters of eternal life or eternal death. We will meet a crowd butchering a bishop who had signed up to the wrong solution; we will find Christians burning other Christians alive over matters which now seem no more than points to debate in a university seminar. We should try to understand why these people of past societies were so angry, frightened and sadistic, even if we cannot sympathize with them. That will mean encountering a

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  As he died 155 at an age of eighty-six years or more, he must have been born A.D. 69, a year before the destruction of Jerusalem, and may have enjoyed the friendship of St. John for twenty years or more. This gives additional weight to his testimony concerning apostolic traditions and writings. We have from him a beautiful epistle which echoes the apostolic teaching, and will be noticed in another chapter. Polycarp steadfastly refused before the proconsul to deny his King and Saviour, whom he had served six and eighty years, and from whom he had experienced nothing but love and mercy. He joyfully went up to the stake, and amidst the flames praised God for having deemed him worthy "to be numbered among his martyrs, to drink the cup of Christ’s sufferings, unto the eternal resurrection of the soul and the body in the incorruption of the Holy Spirit." The slightly legendary account in the letter of the church of Smyrna states, that the flames avoided the body of the saint, leaving it unharmed, like gold tried in the fire; also the Christian bystanders insisted, that they perceived a sweet odor, as of incense. Then the executioner thrust his sword into the body, and the stream of blood at once extinguished the flame. The corpse was burned after the Roman custom, but the bones were preserved by the church, and held more precious than gold and diamonds. The death of this last witness of the apostolic age checked the fury of the populace, and the proconsul suspended the persecution. § 20. Persecutions under Marcus Aurelius. A.D. 161–180. Marcus Aurelius Antoninus: (b. 121, d. 180)::Tw'n eij" eJauto;n Bibliva ib J|'’, or Meditations. It is a sort of diary or common place book, in which the emperor wrote down, towards the close of his life, partly amid the turmoil of war "in the land of the Quadi" (on the Danube in Hungary), for his self-improvement, his own moral reflections) together with striking maxims of wise and virtuous men. Ed. princeps by Xylander Zurich 1558, and Basle 1568; best ed with a new Latin trans. and very full notes by Gataker, Lond. 1643, Cambr. 1652, and with additional notes from the French by Dacier, Lond. 1697 and 1704. New ed. of the Greek text by J. M. Schultz, 1802 (and 1821); another by Adamantius Coraïs, Par. 1816. English translation by George Long, Lond. 1863, republ. Boston, revised edition, London, 1880. There are translations into most European languages, one in Italian by the Cardinal Francis Barberini (nephew of Pope Urban VIII), who dedicated his translation to his own soul, "to make it redder than his purple at the sight of the virtues of this Gentile." Comp. also the letters of the famous rhetorician M. Corn. Fronto, the teacher of M. Aurelius, discovered and published by Angelo Mai, Milan 1815 and Rome 1823 (Epistolarum ad Marcum Caesarem Lib.

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  vb. be good, well, glad, pleasing‏ [יטב]ז DHM Sendsch-57)_Qaal (Pf.‏ יטב (Aram. 38%; Zinj.‏ Gn 12 + 34 +.‏ ייטב wb.) Jmpf.‏ טוב not in use, v.‏ 24°+3t.; IO Est 2*+ 2 t.; ‘20% (in-‏ ₪ + יטב correct for ‘20° Ges'®*) Na 3°; pl. 335% Gn‏ be glad, joy-‏ .1---.טוב for Inf. and Pt. v.‏ ;34° Ju 18% 19°? 1 K 21° Ru 3’ 067 |.‏ כב Jul,‏ Na 3° art thou‏ הַתִיסְבִי be well placed, pos NID‏ better placed than No of Amon ? 3. impers.‏ be well for or with, go well with Gn12*(J),‏ 0 2K 25* Ru3!‏ 227 128 685 לוה 4% 40%(E), Dt‏ Je 7* 38% 40° 42°. 4. be pleasing *Y2 Gn‏ Jos22°*‏ "סז 17 *ז 345(J), 41% 45° (E), Dt‏ K 5" Est 27 2**:‏ דט לכ 2 24° "18:18 (P),‏ "BD (late) Ne2**‏ .6 ;*69 ץר be pleasing to,‏ ל = Est5“. Hiph. Pf 2D Gn 12% Jos 24”;‏ sf. 720% Dt 30°; AID] 61%‏ ;"25 5 ז הִיטֶב Ez 36" (for FANT‏ והטבתי Ru 3”, etc.;‏ הַיטַבְתּ Nu ro®+‏ ייטיב Ges'®*); Impf.‏ טוב as if from‏ PO" 0 24% (Ges'™*);‏ ;.% 2 +55 זע 3D.‏ ;= 3 (Ges'”®); ap) Ex1™; sf. J2%‏ 1% א ז ייטיב 1% היטיבי ;ץש הִיטִיבָה Ec 11°, ete.; Zmv.‏ AD Gn 32%+‏ ;10° *ך 16 ete.; Inf. abs. YO‏ Lv5*+7 t.; VOT Je32";‏ היסיב tot.; Inf. cstr.‏ DOD‏ ;"16 ₪ 1 מיטיב Je 32% ete.; Pi.‏ הַיטִיבִי sf.‏ Ez 33°, etc.;—1. make glad, re-‏ )202 ;לפנש Pr 15"; the person Ec‏ פנים ;19% 1 כב joice‏ do good to, deal well with, a person,‏ .2 .11° usU. 6. prep.: 6. 5 Ex 1” Jos 24” (both E), Gn‏ Nuto”™(all J), 20 7% 1S 25" 49" 125%;‏ 12° BY, Gn 325 Nu ro* (all J), Mi 2’; ; acc.‏ .6 Je18” 32%! Zc8" 7024"‏ ”2 18 30° 28% 168% abs. Ez 36"; opp. 10 (in prov. phr.,‏ ;”51 ¥ cannot do gocd or ill,=cannot do anything‏ at all; test of deity) Zp 1° Is 41% Je 10°.‏ DOT‏ (כל)אשר 135 : do well or thoroughly‏ .3 they have done well (all) that they have spoken‏ Mi 7? their hands‏ על הרע כפים להיטיב ;"18 Dt5*‏ are upon the evil to do it well, i.e. diligently,‏ thoroughly, lit. make (it) good, with play on‏ Prrs5?=‏ היט' esp. as auxil. sq. inf.; nyt‏ ; הרע Je xr” see well ; 1330) play‏ לראות know well;‏ well, skilfully 1 ₪ 16" Is 23" Ez 33%; cf. pt.‏ ‘20D Pr 30” marching well,‏ צעד estr. sq. subst.‏ לבה

• From The Principle of Desire (2013)

  “You told me not to,” he said, winning her over without even trying. “You’re in charge. Another time I get to be in charge, right? And I’ll want you to do what I tell you, so...golden rule.” She leaned forward, unable to take his honest eyes anymore, and pressed herself against his chest. “Ed?” she whispered. “Yeah?” “Move.” He did. Oh, he did. And so did she, which made her come almost right away, because she’d been close since the whole thing started. Ed groaned as she clenched around him, and somehow managed to work his hips even faster despite the restraints. She met his pace, bearing down, working with him until he jerked to a halt and came inside her with a shout. Effortless. And Aaron had always made a thing of how hard it was to get her off, what a project she was. And fuck, she was thinking about Aaron again while Ed was still inside her, and she’d just had the best sex of her life. Fuck. Chapter Eight It ended way too soon. Beth kept moving on his lap even after they’d both finished, as if she couldn’t help but wring the last few drops of pleasure from both their bodies. But her face...something was wrong again, like it had been when she started. Her expression had gone from blissful to closed-off, and the gorgeous orgasmic glow was already fading. She lifted herself off him with obvious reluctance, but also a sadness he thought didn’t belong to him. Gathering her clothes, Beth disappeared behind him, and when she rounded the chair again she was back in her jeans and top. Still grim and tight-lipped, she began to untie him. He finally figured out this was her about-to-cry face when she actually started crying, fat tears pattering on his arm as she freed his hands. She was silent except for a telltale sniffle or two. He let her work until he was free, trying to figure out what to say. He knew he sucked at situations like this, situations when girls got complicated and weepy for nebulous reasons. In this instance, though, he really wanted to not suck. He wanted to help her feel better. And he wanted to make sure it wasn’t the sex she was crying about, because his self-esteem was solid but the timing was undeniably suspicious. “Hey.” She looked up from the floor, where she knelt unlooping the last of the rope from his ankle. Ed leaned forward, brushing his hand over her damp cheek. “I’m feeling a little down,” he said. “I could use a hug if you’re not too busy with that rope.”

• From The Great Believers (2018)

  A man in the crowd saying, “It was the biggest place, it was the best place.” Another man: “It was our Studio 54. No, wait. It was our moon. It was our moon !” Another: “Is someone going to tell him about the Bearded Lady? Someone explain about the Bearded Lady.” And there, dear God, were Yale Tishman and Charlie Keene. Charlie with his open bomber jacket and pins. Yale in an oxford shirt, hopelessly preppy. So incredibly, impossibly young. Had anyone ever been that young? Moving easily, their limbs loose, faces full. And there now, right behind them, was Nico. His hair tousled in the wind. Fiona held her breath. Yale saying: “I keep waiting to find out it’s a joke.” Charlie to the camera: “This is where I brought him when he was new to the city.” Yale: “I couldn’t believe it existed.” Charlie: “You want to know the state of this city, you want to know whose pocket city hall is in, look at this. You think this isn’t political? You think this is an accident?” Yale: “They had these glitter cannons, and they’d—one time, the cannons shot foam stars. I don’t even know how they did that.” Nico: “I’m still hung over from the closing party, and it was four days ago .” His voice . It traveled down her neck and arms. The building, small and undefended. A voice off camera: “It’s mob bosses tearing this place down.” Another: “Well. I don’t know.” Charlie: “They’re making a bloody parking lot.” Yale: “Watch.” But nothing happened. A shot of the building, just standing there. Static. Nico: “Now. Look.” The wrecking ball swinging, colliding. Not the topple you’d expect, not a skyscraper’s collapse. Just a cloud of obscuring dust and, when that cleared, a hole. Then another. Someone shouting “Whooh!” as if out of obligation. A slow, awkward minute of wrecking ball, and faces reacting. Yale’s face. Charlie’s face. Fiona felt Julian take her hand. She’d forgotten where she was, forgotten the gallery and the museum and all of Paris. The film cut forward; time had passed. The building, destroyed. The entire place downed, the dust clearing. People leaving. The sound of wind. Charlie’s voice: “Better be a hell of a parking lot.” Yale: “Oh my God, look.” Yale on his knees, digging in the gutter. Yale surrounded by the remaining people, showing them something in his hands. Yale showing the camera: a handful of dust. “There’s glitter in it!” he said. A man Fiona didn’t know peered over Yale’s shoulder. “That’s not glitter. Where?” It just looked like dust. Yale turned and smeared it down Charlie’s shirt. Yale and Charlie and Nico laughing hysterically. Charlie rubbing the dust between his fingers, sprinkling it on the sidewalk. Nico rubbing it into Charlie’s jacket sleeve. A man smearing it on his cheeks, a woman saying, “That’s asbestos, I’m sure.” Charlie, laughing still, giddy: “We’re gonna take it home with us!” A shot of the gutter filled with dust.

• From Lost Christianities: Christian Scriptures and the Battles over Authentication (2002)

  Thecla: It is difficult to know whether Thecla was a historical person or a legendary figure. The earliest references to her are in the Apocryphal Acts of Paul, which provide a highly fictionalized account of her conversion, based on the ascetic preaching of the apostle Paul, and her subsequent escapades, as she travels, sometimes in Paul’s company, on Christian mission. In these accounts, she twice escapes execution ordered on the grounds of her refusal to participate in the social life of her pagan world, for example, when her fiancé, whom she spurns to devote herself to the gospel, hands her over to the authorities on charges of being a Christian. Thecla became venerated as a sacred virgin in Christian tradition, and tales of her life were in wide circulation throughout the Middle Ages. Valentinus: Valentinus was probably the best known gnostic Christian of the second century. Born in Egypt, he was educated in Alexandria before coming to Rome around 136 A.D. Valentinus was a rhetorically powerful and charismatic person, who developed his theological views in light of Platonic and other philosophical traditions dominant in the world at the time. Tradition indicates that he wanted to receive a high office in the church of Rome (aspiring to be its bishop), but that he was spurned by the church leadership and broke off from it to start churches of disciples who accepted his gnosticized understanding of the faith. Valentinian Gnosticism developed in a variety of ways among his followers after his death and became one of the primary targets for attack by heresiologists, such as Irenaeus and Tertullian. We have few writings that survive from Valentinus himself, but many scholars think that the Gospel of Truth discovered at Nag Hammadi may derive directly from him. If it does, then it shows Valentinus at his best, rhetorically effective and filled with joy at the thought of the salvation that had been graciously given by the true God. 126 Bibliography A Attridge, Harold W. “Thomas, Acts of,” Anchor Bible Dictionary, vol. VI, pp. 531-534. New York: Doubleday Books, 1992. A brief but insightful discussion of the major historical and interpretive issues relating to the Acts of Thomas. Bauer, Walter. Orthodoxy and Heresy in Earliest Christianity. Trans. by Robert Kraft et. al., ed. by Robert Kraft and Gerhard Krodel. Philadelphia: Fortress, 1971. One of the most important books of the twentieth century on the history of early Christianity. Bauer argues against the classical understanding of orthodoxy and heresy, by maintaining that what was later called heresy was, in many regions of early Christendom, the oldest and largest form of Christian belief. Blackman, E. C. Marcion and His Influence. London: S.P.C.K., 1948. A clear and useful study of the life and teachings of the second-century philosopher- theologian Marcion and of the impact he made on early Christianity.

• From The Sexual Life of Catherine M. (2001)

  I am docile not because I like submission, I have never tried to put myself in a masochistic situation, but out of indifference to the uses to which we put our bodies. Of course, I would never have given myself over to extreme practices such as inflicting or suffering pain, but apart from that, given the enormous scope of individual preferences – sexual eccentricities even – I always had an open mind and I was invariably well up for it in mind and body. At the most I could have been blamed for a lack of conviction if someone’s practices didn’t find much resonance in my own fantasies. For a long time I used to see a man who now and then felt the need to pee over me. I knew what to expect when he made me get out of bed to suck him off. When his organ was good and hard, he would take it out and hold it with one hand, not far from me. I kept my mouth open. Kneeling there in front of him like that I must have looked like someone about to take communion. There was always a brief pause during which he seemed to be mentally guiding the urine on its way. With this effort of concentration he managed not to come. And the jet streamed onto me, full, firm and hot. Bitter. So bitter I have never tasted its equal, strong enough to make you retract your tongue all the way to the back of your throat. He manipulated his organ the way he would have done a hose pipe and the flow was so abundant and lasted such a long time that I sometimes really had to duck and dive the way you would if someone were trying to spray you with water. Once when I lay down under the stream, when he had finished he came to lay down on the floor with me. Using both hands, he daubed me all over with his piss and covered me with kisses. I hate the feeling of wet hair on my neck but there was nothing I could do to stop it trickling. I burst out laughing. This made him angry, and brought his affections to an abrupt end. Years later he still held it against me! ‘There’s one thing you’re not good at, and that’s being pissed on.’ I admit it. In my defence, I would like to make clear that I didn’t laugh as a way, for example, of shrugging off my embarrassment (it wasn’t the first time I had been drenched in that way!), even less to make fun of him or of us (every reasonably original sexual exploit, far from debasing me, was in fact a source of pride, like another notch in my quest for the sexual Grail). I laughed because, unable to draw any masochistic satisfaction from the situation which I didn’t find humiliating, at least I did feel a sense of jubilation rolling in a disgusting liquid substance.

• From The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women: How to Become Orgasmic for a Lifetime (2011)

  I had one partner who had the most incredibly strong vaginal muscles. When I was inside her, she could induce pain without externally visible signs, not even a facial twitch or grimace. I have a very strong grip, and I cannot squeeze my penis hard enough to cause pain. She could—with her vagina. I had to ask her to be careful, which was difficult for her when she was in the middle of an orgasm. However, a woman with a well-toned PC muscle, able both to relax it fully and to tighten it, is a woman who is sexually aware and responsive, no matter how she reaches orgasm. I’ve learned to come through muscle control, with no direct physical stimulation at all. This basically involves doing Kegels, although I’ve found that mentally focusing on the area just inside my vagina and at the front helps a lot. Note that it is as important to be able to relax the PC muscle as it is to be able to tense it. You may have a very strong PC muscle, but if you are unable to relax it, then you will have problems, just as you would with any chronically tight muscle in your body. Penetration Is Not Essential Muscles sometimes become chronically tense for emotional or psychological reasons, and this is commonly the case with the PC muscle, perhaps because we have so much emotional and psychological baggage associated with sex. If a woman is afraid of penetration or intercourse (and there are many reasons why she might be), then fear will cause her to tense her PC muscle. Suddenly her vagina is smaller and tighter than it normally is, and intercourse will inevitably be painful. The medical term for this is vaginismus, and it is not uncommon. If this is a problem for you, then I urge you to seriously consider whether you want penetration at all. I know lesbians who have very satisfying sex that rarely or never involves penetration. There is no reason why the same shouldn’t be true for other women. As a teenager I had intercourse with lots of guys, and it seemed like a real waste of time. The best sex I had in those days was when I refused to have intercourse with this one guy, and he got me off with his fingers on my clitoris. That was great. The best orgasm I ever had involved no penetration at all; it just came from this utterly animal desire. I was on top of her, we both had all our clothes on, and we were just rubbing our bodies on each other. Neither of us were doing anything to the other; no one was directing anything. The orgasm just exploded out of me. She came at the same moment.

• From While You Were Out (2023)

  LARRY MET ME AT the Albany County airport the night before Thanksgiving 1981 and, just as planned, handed me the black velvet box. During our Cape Cod vacation the month before, I told him it was time to fish or cut bait. If this romance is to continue, we are getting married. Larry agreed. No dating service algorithm would ever put the two of us together—a flibbertigibbet Irish Catholic midwesterner and a taciturn WASP atheist from the East Coast. Well, they’re a nice couple, but I hear she’s ROMAN Catholic! I could hear Larry’s grandmother declare from the other end of the dining room table one night. But the heart wants what it wants. We would find a way to make it work. After the trauma of Nancy’s suicide and the years of fallout, I craved the stability that I knew Larry could offer me. At twenty-four and still smitten by earthly treasures, I couldn’t wait to see what kind of diamond ring he had picked out for me. Square-cut? A platinum setting just like the one Grandma had bought for my mother? Or gold, as I preferred? My hands trembled as I pawed the box open. To my horror, there was not a bright, shining diamond nestled within the velvet lining but an aluminum pull-tab to a beer can. I shot Larry a nasty glare. If that doesn’t fit, try this, he said, fishing out a thin gold band with a 0.20-carat diamond chip anchored in the middle. Typical Larry Boynton, grounding me to reality. After all, I was marrying a daily newspaper reporter, not an investment banker. I threw my arms around him and slid the ring on my finger, knowing he would never let me take myself too seriously or get lost, literally or figuratively. Larry’s father hooted when we walked in the door to announce the news. My new tribe welcomed me with unmitigated enthusiasm. Our wedding was set for late September. Back at home, my mother sprang into action, lining up a venue for the reception, booking a band, making one list after another. At last, she found a way to pay back all her friends for the countless weddings she and Holmer attended. There would be parties and showers and gift registries. Place settings of silver and china, crystal goblets, and candlesticks. A honeymoon in Bermuda. We were giddy. No one knew then what was about to hit us or how painful and humiliating the next year would turn out to be. 9 Love and a Hate Crime [image file=Image00014.jpg] The Chicken Fight: Me on Billy’s shoulders, Danny, and Chris Peters, our best man. Michigan Shores Club, Wilmette, Illinois, 1982. (Courtesy of John Howell of John Howell Studios, Winnetka, Illinois.) Danny was six years younger than I, so I looked at him with more maternal affection than as a typical sibling rival. We were too far apart in age to bicker. I always felt a little sorry for him, living in Billy’s shadow.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  Marriage was regarded in the church from the beginning as a sacred union of body and soul for the propagation of civil society, and the kingdom of God, for the exercise of virtue and the promotion of happiness. It was clothed with a sacramental or semi-sacramental character on the basis of Paul’s comparison of the marriage union with the relation of Christ to his church.642 It was in its nature indissoluble except in case of adultery, and this crime was charged not only to the woman, but to the man as even the more guilty party, and to every extra-connubial carnal connection. Thus the wife was equally protected against the wrongs of the husband, and chastity was made the general law of the family life. We have a few descriptions of Christian homes from the ante-Nicene age, one from an eminent Greek father, another from a married presbyter of the Latin church. Clement of Alexandria enjoins upon Christian married persons united prayer and reading of the Scriptures,643 as a daily morning exercise, and very beautifully says: "The mother is the glory of her children, the wife is the glory of her husband, both are the glory of the wife, God is the glory of all together."644 Tertullian, at the close of the book which he wrote to his wife, draws the following graphic picture, which, though somewhat idealized, could be produced only from the moral spirit of the gospel and actual experience:645 "How can I paint the happiness of a marriage which the church ratifies, the oblation (the celebration of the communion) confirms, the benediction seals, angels announce, the Father declares valid. Even upon earth, indeed, sons do not legitimately marry without the consent of their fathers. What a union of two believers—one hope, one vow, one discipline, and one worship! They are brother and sister, two fellow-servants, one spirit and one flesh. Where there is one flesh, there is also one spirit. They pray together, fast together, instruct, exhort, and support each other. They go together to the church of God, and to the table of the Lord. They share each other’s tribulation, persecution, and revival. Neither conceals anything from the other; neither avoids, neither annoys the other. They delight to visit the sick, supply the needy, give alms without constraint, and in daily zeal lay their offerings before the altar without scruple or hindrance. They do not need to keep the sign of the cross hidden, nor to express slyly their Christian joy, nor to suppress the blessing. Psalms and hymns they sing together, and they vie with each other in singing to God. Christ rejoices when he sees and hears this. He gives them his peace. Where two are together in his name, there is he; and where he is, there the evil one cannot come."

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  Polycarp steadfastly refused before the proconsul to deny his King and Saviour, whom he had served six and eighty years, and from whom he had experienced nothing but love and mercy. He joyfully went up to the stake, and amidst the flames praised God for having deemed him worthy "to be numbered among his martyrs, to drink the cup of Christ’s sufferings, unto the eternal resurrection of the soul and the body in the incorruption of the Holy Spirit." The slightly legendary account in the letter of the church of Smyrna states, that the flames avoided the body of the saint, leaving it unharmed, like gold tried in the fire; also the Christian bystanders insisted, that they perceived a sweet odor, as of incense. Then the executioner thrust his sword into the body, and the stream of blood at once extinguished the flame. The corpse was burned after the Roman custom, but the bones were preserved by the church, and held more precious than gold and diamonds. The death of this last witness of the apostolic age checked the fury of the populace, and the proconsul suspended the persecution. § 20. Persecutions under Marcus Aurelius. A.D. 161–180. Marcus Aurelius Antoninus: (b. 121, d. 180)::Tw'n eij" eJauto;n Bibliva ib J|'’, or Meditations. It is a sort of diary or common place book, in which the emperor wrote down, towards the close of his life, partly amid the turmoil of war "in the land of the Quadi" (on the Danube in Hungary), for his self-improvement, his own moral reflections) together with striking maxims of wise and virtuous men. Ed. princeps by Xylander Zurich 1558, and Basle 1568; best ed with a new Latin trans. and very full notes by Gataker, Lond. 1643, Cambr. 1652, and with additional notes from the French by Dacier, Lond. 1697 and 1704. New ed. of the Greek text by J. M. Schultz, 1802 (and 1821); another by Adamantius Coraïs, Par. 1816. English translation by George Long, Lond. 1863, republ. Boston, revised edition, London, 1880. There are translations into most European languages, one in Italian by the Cardinal Francis Barberini (nephew of Pope Urban VIII), who dedicated his translation to his own soul, "to make it redder than his purple at the sight of the virtues of this Gentile." Comp. also the letters of the famous rhetorician M. Corn. Fronto, the teacher of M. Aurelius, discovered and published by Angelo Mai, Milan 1815 and Rome 1823 (Epistolarum ad Marcum Caesarem Lib. V., etc.) They are, however, very unimportant, except so far as they show the life-long congenial friendship between the amiable teacher and his imperial pupil. Arnold Bodek: Marcus Aurelius Antoninus als Freund und Zeitgenosse les Rabbi Jehuda ha-Nasi. Leipz. 1868. (Traces the connection of this emperor with the Jewish monotheism and ethics.)

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  The Acts of the Apostles give us the external, the Epistles the internal history of primitive Christianity. They are independent contemporaneous compositions and never refer to each other; probably Luke never read the Epistles of Paul, and Paul never read the Acts of Luke, although he no doubt supplied much valuable information to Luke. But indirectly they illustrate and confirm each other by a number of coincidences which have great evidential value, all the more as these coincidences are undesigned and incidental. Had they been composed by post-apostolic writers, the agreement would have been more complete, minor disagreements would have been avoided, and the lacunae in the Acts supplied, especially in regard to the closing labors and death of Peter and Paul. The Acts bear on the face all the marks of an original, fresh, and trustworthy narrative of contemporaneous events derived from the best sources of information, and in great part from personal observation and experience. The authorship of Luke, the companion of Paul, is conceded by a majority of the best modern scholars, even by Ewald. And this fact alone establishes the credibility. Renan (in his St. Paul, ch. 1) admirably calls the Acts "a book of joy, of serene ardor. Since the Homeric poems no book has been seen full of such fresh sensations. A breeze of morning, an odor of the sea, if I dare express it so, inspiring something joyful and strong, penetrates the whole book, and makes it an excellent compagnon de voyage, the exquisite breviary for him who is searching for ancient remains on the seas of the south. This is the second idyl of Christianity. The Lake of Tiberias and its fishing barks had furnished the first. Now, a more powerful breeze, aspirations toward more distant lands, draw us out into the open sea." 2. The Post-Apostolic and Patristic writings are full of reminiscences of, and references to, the apostolic books, and as dependent on them as the river is upon its fountain. 3. The Apocryphal and Heretical literature. The numerous Apocryphal Acts, Epistles, and Apocalypses were prompted by the same motives of curiosity and dogmatic interest as the Apocryphal Gospels, and have a similar apologetic, though very little historical, value. The heretical character is, however, more strongly marked. They have not yet been sufficiently investigated. Lipsius (in Smith and Wace’s, "Dict. of Christ. Biog." vol. I. p. 27) divides the Apocryphal Acts into four classes: (1) Ebionitic; (2) Gnostic; (3) originally Catholic; (4) Catholic adaptations or recensions of heretical documents. The last class is the most numerous, rarely older than the fifth century, but mostly resting on documents from the second and third centuries.

• From Quiet (2012)

  Although the exact relationship between extroversion, dopamine, and the brain’s reward system has not been conclusively established, early findings have been intriguing. In one experiment, Richard Depue, a neurobiologist at Cornell University, gave an amphetamine that activates the dopamine system to a group of introverts and extroverts, and found that the extroverts had a stronger response. Another study found that extroverts who win gambling games have more activity in the reward-sensitive regions of their brains than victorious introverts do. Still other research has shown that the medial orbitofrontal cortex, a key component of the brain’s dopamine-driven reward system, is larger in extroverts than in introverts. By contrast, introverts “have a smaller response” in the reward system, writes psychologist Nettle, “and so go less out of their way to follow up [reward] cues.” They will, “like anyone, be drawn from time to time to sex, and parties, and status, but the kick they get will be relatively small, so they are not going to break a leg to get there.” In short, introverts just don’t buzz as easily. In some ways, extroverts are lucky; buzz has a delightful champagne-bubble quality. It fires us up to work and play hard. It gives us the courage to take chances. Buzz also gets us to do things that would otherwise seem too difficult, like giving speeches. Imagine you work hard to prepare a talk on a subject you care about. You get your message across, and when you finish the audience rises to its feet, its clapping sustained and sincere. One person might leave the room feeling, “I’m glad I got my message across, but I’m also happy it’s over; now I can get back to the rest of my life.” Another person, more sensitive to buzz, might walk away feeling, “What a trip! Did you hear that applause? Did you see the expression on their faces when I made that life-changing point? This is great !” But buzz also has considerable downsides. “ Everyone assumes that it’s good to accentuate positive emotions, but that isn’t correct,” the psychology professor Richard Howard told me, pointing to the example of soccer victories that end in violence and property damage. “A lot of antisocial and self-defeating behavior results from people who amplify positive emotions.” Another disadvantage of buzz may be its connection to risk—sometimes outsized risk. Buzz can cause us to ignore warning signs we should be heeding. When Ted Turner (who appears to be an extreme extrovert) compared the AOL–Time Warner deal to his first sexual experience, he may have been telling us that he was in the same buzzy state of mind as an adolescent who’s so excited about spending the night with his new girlfriend that he’s not thinking much about the consequences. This blindness to danger may explain why extroverts are more likely than introverts to be killed while driving, be hospitalized as a result of accident or injury, smoke, have risky sex, participate in high-risk sports, have affairs, and remarry.

• From The Misunderstood Jew: The Church and the Scandal of the Jewish Jesus (2007)

  Jesus fusses at priests, just like Amos. Jesus tells parables, just like the prophet Nathan and a number of rabbis whose stories appear in postbiblical Jewish sources. Jesus heals and raises the dead; so too Elijah and Elisha. Jesus survives when children around him are slaughtered, just like Moses. I didn’t have to read Matthew 2–7 to know that the rescued baby would take a trip to Egypt, cross water in a life-changing experience, face temptation in the wilderness, ascend a mountain, and deliver comments on the Law—the pattern was already established in Shemot, the book of Exodus.1 Nor was the cross strange. The story resembled that of the deaths of the Maccabean martyrs, the mother and her seven sons, whom we recall at Hanukkah. Making the connection even closer, these Jewish martyrs also anticipated vindication and resurrection. Second Maccabees states, “The King of the universe will raise us up to an everlasting renewal of life, because we have died for his Laws” (7:9). Written by Greek-speaking Jews, the books of the Maccabees were preserved by the church; they are found today in the collection known either as the Deuterocanonical Writings (the Catholic designation) or the Old Testament Apocrypha (the Protestant designation). Later Jewish texts would retell the stories of the Maccabees, and the synagogue would continue to celebrate the holiday of Hanukkah; both church and synagogue recognize the exemplary mother and her seven sons. The irony is we Jews celebrate the holiday of Hanukkah, but the church preserved the earliest records of the events that form the basis for the holiday. The description of Jesus’s suffering recalled for me the accounts in the Yom Kippur martyrology of the rabbis executed in the second revolt against Rome (132–35 CE ). They also faced the power of the empire and did not falter in their faith. The death of the innocent was, moreover, part of my understanding of the Shoah, the deaths of millions of Jews at the hands of the Nazis. Jesus even complains about those who want the best seats in the synagogue (Matt. 23:6)—I have been known to do the same. I don’t recall hearing anything negative about Jews per se, save that I didn’t like the fact that the Levite in the parable of the good Samaritan was a bad guy. I am a Levite; I took that parable personally. But my initial impression of the New Testament was that it was a collection of good Jewish stories told by a good Jewish storyteller. And my initial impression of Christianity bolstered this positive impression. My parents had told me that the church was like a cousin to the synagogue: we worshiped the same God, we both believed in the Golden Rule. Christians and Jews also shared many books of the Bible in common, although I believed at the time that Christians had to work harder, because their Bible was longer than ours.

• From The Work of Theology (2015)

  For example, I hope readers will have as much fun reading my essay “How to Write a Theological Sentence” as I did writing it. I enjoyed writing that essay because in it I draw on the work of Stanley Fish, and Stanley is always entertaining. I do not want to keep you in suspense, so I will tell you that the sentence I analyze is not mine but Robert Jenson’s wonderful sentence: “God is whoever raised Jesus from the dead, having before raised Israel from Egypt.” I have always tried to do theology in an entertaining manner. One consequence of that endeavor has been an attempt to defy the presumption that a strong distinction can be made between scholarly and popular work. That may seem unwise in our day when theology is not considered a worthy scholarly subject to be included in university curriculums. But I have assumed the best response to that prejudice is to show that what Christians have to say about God is very interesting. For it has been one of my self-imposed tasks to try to help us see the difference God makes for how we negotiate the world. I have done so not because I think difference is an end in itself, but because I assume that the discovery of difference is one of the conditions necessary for knowing what it might mean to say what we believe as Christians is true. The attempt to show the difference Christian convictions can make for how the world is understood, as well as how we live in the world, has not had high priority for much of recent Christian theology. Christians, particularly in the West, have assumed they have been in control of the worlds in which they have found themselves. Accordingly they have sought to show the commonalities between themselves and those who are not Christian. That I have been trying to name the differences has earned me some rather colorful denigrating designations. Whether those descriptions are justified I hope can be tested by anyone kind enough to read The Work of Theology. One of the descriptions (criticisms) of my work is that I can give no account of how tribal groups can ever come to share a language. The remarks I have made above about the words we share in common suggest that the differences between Christian and non-Christian vocabularies may not go all the way down. I certainly hope they do not go all the way down, but what commonalities there may be will have to be discovered rather than assumed. We live at a time when Christianity is on the wane. Though that is often thought to be a particular challenge for Christians, I think it is a greater challenge for people who think of themselves as secular.