Gratitude

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From Satyricon (1)

  The tears poured forth again, after this appeal, and, shaken by deep sobs, she buried her whole face and breast in my bed; and I, moved by pity and by apprehension, begged her to be of good cheer and to make herself perfectly easy as to both of those issues, for not only would we not betray any secrets to the rabble, but we would also second divine providence, at any peril to ourselves, if any god had indicated to her any cure for her tertian ague. The woman cheered up at this promise, and smothered me with kisses; from tears she passed to laughter, and fell to running her fingers through the long hair that hung down about my ears. “I will declare a truce with you,” she said, “and withdraw my complaint. But had you been unwilling to administer the medicine which I seek, I had a troop in readiness for the morrow, which would have exacted satisfaction for my injury and reparation for my dignity! To be flouted is disgraceful, but to dictate terms, sublime Pleased am I to choose what course I will, Even sages will retort an insult at the proper time. Victor most is he who does not kill.” Then she suddenly clapped her hands, and broke into such a peal of laughter that we were alarmed. The maid, who had been the first to arrive, did likewise, on one side of us, as also did the little girl who had entered with the madame herself. CHAPTER THE NINETEENTH.

• From Martin Luther (2016)

  The staff at many archives, museums, art galleries, and libraries have been unfailingly helpful and kind. First I would like to thank the staff of the Bodleian Library Oxford and the History Librarian, Isabel Holowaty; the British Library; the Wittenberg Stadtarchiv and its researchers, especially Hans-Jochen Seidel, who showed me Wittenberg; the Lutherhalle Wittenberg, in particular Jutta Strehle, who took me through the Bildersammlung, Gabi Protzmann, and Petra Wittig; the Evangelisches Predigerseminar Wittenberg Bibliothek; the Thüringisches Hauptstaatsarchiv Weimar; the Staatsbibliothek zu Berlin-Preussischer Kulturbesitz; the Landesdenkmalamt Halle; the Marienbibliothek Halle; the Stadtarchiv Eisleben; the Stadtarchiv Eisenach; Frau Günzel and Frau Kaiser of Schloss Mansfeld; the Landesarchiv Sachsen-Anhalt, Abteilung Magdeburg, Standort Magdeburg; the Landesarchiv Sachsen-Anhalt, Standort Wernigerode, in particular Susan Schulze; the Landesbibliothek Coburg; the Forschungsbibliothek Gotha; and the Herzog August Bibliothek Wolfenbüttel. No scholar can work on sixteenth-century German material without the extraordinary “VD 16” and the help of the Bayerische Staatsbibliothek Munich. Juliane Kerkhecker generously worked with me on Luther’s Latin and many of her insights are in this book. Christian Preusse, Melinda Letts, Floris Verhaart, Edmund Wareham, Martin Christ, Mikey Pears, and Raquel Candelas all gave invaluable research assistance; Candice Saunders made sure everything happened and provided flair. Nadja Pentzlin proved a phenomenal picture sleuth and organizer. Many audiences have helped me shape my ideas, and I’m grateful to them, as have many individuals, including Mette Ahlefeldt-Laurvig, Sarah Apetrei, Charlotte Appel, Wolfgang Behringer, Paul Betts, Sue Bottigheimer, Patrick Cane, Charles Colville, Natalie Zemon Davis, Martin Donnelly, Michael Drolet, Liz Fidlon, Etienne François, Laura Gowing, Rebekka Habermas, Adalbert Hepp, Michael Hunter, Susan Karant-Nunn, Thomas Kaufmann, Simone Laqua, Volker Leppin, Peter Macardle, Jan Machielsen, Hans Medick, Erik Midelfort, Hannah Murphy, Johannes Paulmann, Glyn Redworth, Tom Robisheaux, Ailsa Roper, Cath Roper, Miri Rubin, Alex Shepard, Philip Soergel, Hubert Stadler, Andreas Stahl, Willibald Steinmetz, Naomi Tadmor, Barbara Taylor, Bernd Weisbrod, Chris Wickham, Merry Wiesner, Tim Wilson, Karin Woerdemann, Sylvie Zannier, and Charles Zika, whose insights have all found their way into this book. Many friends read entire drafts, some even when the book was at a very early stage, generously discussed the ideas, and made countless suggestions.

• From Martin Luther (2016)

  Nick Stargardt first suggested I write the book and gave me the courage to do so; he read an early version and discussed many of the ideas which gave it shape. Iain Pears generously undertook a line edit of the entire manuscript, not once but twice, and provided help and support when I needed it. Ruth Harris read the very first draft and gave me faith in the project from the start; she has read draft after draft and supported me through the difficult task of finishing it. I am lucky to have such a friend and I could not have done it without her. My stepson Anand Narsey has made me realise why it is important to understand religious traditions and my son Sam has taught me what matters in life. Oxford 10 January 2016 ee > Come i<@ a we ae ae <_ ) ea ee eS Bend . ch ia ADS airtel! Gaara en a ba ones 5 ve o ye , e8 a om ara beet tone ~ tip7 . [OY Put peed Gt oyteghe “yygesa-9 awe gti He | = : > oe raesCy none baer 7 cA Se 7 » : As 7 ma { ~~ ‘Moy’ vfs ‘= eh < ‘a ey ee ee , er ~ _ an i o sip tas Pree oF ,<¢' >? a * ' # =n, 3 =e PA ae ° a: 4a A ‘ nal n ’ d = wy = rears *G@ -®@ = i, -_ v Eos 4 <7 J ; yi - 7 oe - Pata ’ — a. A » , hawt? 5 cay oe ro TH <x" :: H ‘ =~ ® a & —_ rut = ~ G 4 ; + cine a -s a en as a s ~ +s . is = f ‘endir : “a, a} Pea a ae eee » arias) (eS I. Ta ST we CW : i} Teer - “= TS sie = Pw ol eae 1 yews aes 1 i au i #7; eee led at egies 22 ep Wahesias Ae a . + => i/ drums? +! Ph VER Ses he Serle = trated) yer nee 17 - salen ashi a) hic, > : Vie. 4a @ eT ome 7 *“ ane ay 1 het me uae?

• From Martin Luther (2016)

  Nick Stargardt first suggested I write the book and gave me the courage to do so; he read an early version and discussed many of the ideas that gave it shape. Iain Pears generously undertook a line edit of the entire manuscript, not once but twice, and provided help and support when I needed it. Ruth Harris read the very first draft and gave me faith in the project from the start; she has read draft after draft and supported me through the difficult task of finishing it. I am lucky to have such a friend and I could not have done it without her. My stepson Anand Narsey has made me realize why it is important to understand religious traditions and my son Sam has taught me what matters in life. Oxford January 10, 2016 [image "notes" file=images/Rope_9780812996203_epub3_090_r1.jpg] [image "notes" file=images/Rope_9780812996203_epub3_090_r1.jpg] AbbreviationsCA Confessio Augustana, in Die Bekenntnisschriften der evangelisch-lutherischen Kirche, 7th ed., Göttingen, 1976 HSA Weimar EGA Thüring isches Hauptstaatsarchiv Weimar, Ernestinisches Gesamtarchiv LHASA Landeshauptarchiv Sachsen-Anhalt LW Luther’s Works, Philadelphia, 1957– RTA Reichstagsakten, Jüngere Reihe—Deutsche Reichstagsakten unter Kaiser Karl V., 23 vols., Gotha, 1893– StadtA Witt Stadtarchiv Wittenberg VD 16 Verzeichnis der im deutschen Sprachbereich erschienenen Drucke des 16. und 17. Jahrhunderts Walch Johann Georg Walch, Dr. Martin Luthers Sämmtliche Schriften, St. Louis, 1880–1910 (revised version of the Halle Edition, 1740–53) WB D. Martin Luthers Werke: Kritische Gesamtausgabe, Briefe, 18 vols. WDB D. Martin Luthers Werke: Kritische Gesamtausgabe, Deutsche Bibel, 15 vols. WS D. Martin Luthers Werke: Kritische Gesamtausgabe, Schriften, 72 vols., Weimar, 1903 WT D. Martin Luthers Werke: Kritische Gesamtausgabe, Tischreden, 6 vols. Introduction1. He drank to it in 1527 on November 1, a fact that has led at least one scholar to argue that the theses were posted on All Saints’ Day itself, not the day before. Volz, Thesenanschlag, 38–39; WB 4, 1164, Nov. 1, 1527; Vandiver, Keen, and Frazel, eds. and trans., Luther’s Lives, 22. 2. Iserloh, Thesenanschlag. Martin Treu renewed the debate by discovering in 2007 a note in the hand of Georg Rörer, Luther’s secretary, in the margins of a Bible used by Luther, and kept in the university library of Jena. This stated that on the eve of the feast of All Saints, Dr. Martin Luther nailed up theses about indulgences on the doors of the Wittenberg churches. The finding was important because otherwise the only contemporary note of the nailing of the theses was by Melanchthon, and he was not yet in Wittenberg, so could not have witnessed the event. For an excellent summary of the debate, see Ott and Treu, Luthers Thesenanschlag.

• From Martin Luther (2016)

  [image "8. T he Diet of Worms" file=images/Rope_9780812996203_epub3_038_r1.jpg] [image "8. T he Diet of Worms" file=images/Rope_9780812996203_epub3_038_r1.jpg] ALL THE RESOURCES of the Saxon electoral court now turned to having Luther’s case heard by the emperor rather than the matter being referred to Rome. The emperor Charles V had in fact offered to hold a hearing in November 1520, before the end of the sixty-day deadline that was stipulated by the bull, but countermanded his order the following month when the papal representative objected.1 In their correspondence with the imperial court, Friedrich and his advisors argued that Luther should not be condemned “unless he were heard first…so that the truth…could be brought to light.” If he were shown to err “by Holy Scripture,” Luther would “humbly allow himself to be instructed,” they assured Charles. As their formula of complaint put it, Luther was “unheard and undefeated by Holy Scripture”—and it made brilliant propaganda.2 The Elector’s men were successful in securing a hearing: On March 6 the emperor instructed Luther to appear before him at Worms and gave him a safe conduct.3 Luther thanked the Elector for his efforts, but he was well aware that he owed his protection largely to Spalatin and others in the Saxon court; it was his friendship with Spalatin that probably saved him. As well as being the Elector’s chaplain and librarian, Spalatin had at first acted as tutor to Friedrich’s nephew, the future Elector Johann Friedrich, and he traveled incessantly with Friedrich from one Saxon castle to another, from Altenburg, to Torgau, to Wittenberg.4 As Friedrich’s advisor, Spalatin was in an extraordinarily powerful position, summarizing theological arguments for the Elector and suggesting what action to take. Moreover, his influence over the education of the future Elector and the progeny of other princely lines probably helped ensure that they would in time become not only personal supporters of Luther but firm advocates of the Reformation.5 Indeed, from about 1520, the young Duke Johann Friedrich asked Luther for advice on spiritual matters while Luther, for his part, dedicated some of his most important writings to him.6

• From Satyricon (1)

  the other bore a painting of the moon in her phases, and the seven planets, and the days which were lucky and those which were unlucky, distinguished by distinctive studs. We had had enough of these novelties and started to enter the dining-room when a slave, detailed to this duty, cried out, “Right foot first.” Naturally, we were afraid that some of us might break some rule of conduct and cross the threshold the wrong way; nevertheless, we started out, stepping off together with the right foot, when all of a sudden, a slave who had been stripped, threw himself at our feet, and commenced begging us to save him from punishment, as it was no serious offense for which he was in jeopardy; the steward’s clothing had been stolen from him in the baths, and the whole value could scarcely amount to ten sesterces. So we drew back our right feet and intervened with the steward, who was counting gold pieces in the hall, begging him to remit the slave’s punishment. Putting a haughty face on the matter, “It’s not the loss I mind so much,” he said, “as it is the carelessness of this worthless rascal. He lost my dinner clothes, given me on my birthday they were, by a certain client, Tyrian purple too, but it had been washed once already. But what does it amount to? I make you a present of the scoundrel!” CHAPTER THE THIRTY-FIRST. We felt deeply obligated by his great condescension, and the same slave for whom we had interceded, rushed up to us as we entered the dining-room, and to our astonishment, kissed us thick and fast, voicing his thanks for our kindness. “You’ll know in a minute whom you did a favor for,” he confided, “the master’s wine is the thanks of a grateful butler!” At length we reclined, and slave boys from Alexandria poured water cooled with snow upon our hands, while others following, attended to our feet and removed the hangnails with wonderful dexterity, nor were they silent even during this disagreeable operation, but they all kept singing at their work. I was desirous of finding out whether the whole household could sing, so I ordered a drink; a boy near at hand instantly repeated my order in a singsong voice fully as shrill, and whichever one you accosted did the same. You would not imagine that this was the dining-room of a private gentleman, but rather that it was an exhibition of pantomimes. A very inviting relish was brought on, for by now all the couches were occupied save only that of Trimalchio, for whom, after a new custom, the chief place was reserved.

• From Martin Luther (2016)

  This book is certainly not just my work, and my first debt is to those students who have taken the Luther Special Subject at Oxford over the years, and who have commented on Luther’s writings so acutely. The informal Early Modern Workshop at Oxford too has provided intellectual support and helped me repeatedly to formulate my argument. Many institutions have provided me with support during the research and writing. An extension of an Alexander von Humboldt Fellowship in 2006-7 enabled me to undertake archival and library research, and thanks to the support of Gisela Bock, Jiirgen Kocka and Claudia Ulbrich, I was a Visiting Fellow at the Freie Universitat Berlin. Leave from the University of Oxford enabled me to undertake the research and finish the writing, and I am grateful to my colleagues at Balliol College, Lesley Abrams, Martin Conway and Simon Skinner, who made it possible for me to have time away. A Research Develop- ment Award from the British Academy gave me concentrated time for the book, without which I could not have written it. Grants from the Fell Fund Oxford enabled me to gain research assistance. Oriel College and the History Faculty have provided a welcoming and stimulating environment in which to complete the book. An invitation to give the Wiles Lectures at the University of Belfast in 2014 gave me a rare opportunity to try out ideas with a group of quite remarkable scholars over three intense days: I am grateful to the Wiles Trustees, and in particular to Gadi Algazi, Scott Dixon, Renate Diirr, Peter Gray, Joel Harrington, Bridget Heal, Kat Hill, Colin Kidd, Charlotte Methuen, Steve Smith, Jenny Spinks, Ulrike Strasser, and Alex Walsham, as well as to the audience in Belfast. 426 MARTIN LUTHER The staff at many archives, museums, art galleries and libraries have been unfailingly helpful and kind. First I would like to thank the staff of the Bodleian Library Oxford and the History Librarian, Isabel Holowaty; the British Library; the Wittenberg Stadtarchiv and its researchers, especially Hans-Jochen Seidel who showed me Witten- berg; the Lutherhalle Wittenberg, in particular Jutta Strehle, who took me through the Bildersammlung, Gabi Protzmann and Petra Wittig; the Evangelisches Predigerseminar Wittenberg Bibliothek; the Thiiringisches Hauptstaatsarchiv Weimar; the Staatsbibliothek zu Berlin-Preussischer Kulturbesitz; the Landesdenkmalamt Halle; the Marienbibliothek Halle; the Stadtarchiv Eisleben; the Stadtarchiv Eisenach; Frau Giinzel and Frau Kaiser of Schloss Mansfeld; the Landesarchiv Sachsen-Anhalt, Abteilung Magdeburg, Standort Magde- burg; the Landesarchiv Sachsen-Anhalt, Standort Wernigerode, in particular Susan Schulze; the Landesbibliothek Coburg; the Forschungsbibliothek Gotha; and the Herzog August Bibliothek Wolfenbiittel. No scholar can work on sixteenth-century German material without the extraordinary “VD 16’ and the help of the Bayer- ische Staatsbibliothek Munich.

• From Martin Luther (2016)

  56 In other words, Luther seemed to be repeating pretty much what Staupitz had preached. It seems that at this stage Spengler—a linchpin of Staupitz’s Nuremberg sodality—could see no real difference between Luther and his former confessor. But all seemed united against the rapacious indulgence-sellers. Before the debate, Luther had been an unknown. Now, in the wake of the debate, the very first image of him appeared on the title page of his printed Leipzig sermon. It showed him as a thin, diffident monk, his anonymous features dwarfed by his giant cowl and beret. A circular border labels him as “Dr. Martinus Lvtter. Avgvstiner. Wittenb.,” the artist clearly struggling with how to make the letters legible. Barely a year later, after Cranach had produced what would become the most famous etching of the reformer, so familiar would Luther’s features become that there would be no need even to name him: By then, everyone knew what Luther looked like. A LL THE RESOURCES of the Saxon electoral court now turned to having Luther’s case heard by the emperor rather than the matter being referred to Rome. The emperor Charles V had in fact offered to hold a hearing in November 1520, before the end of the sixty-day deadline that was stipulated by the bull, but countermanded his order the following month when the papal representative objected. 1 In their correspondence with the imperial court, Friedrich and his advisors argued that Luther should not be condemned “unless he were heard first…so that the truth…could be brought to light.” If he were shown to err “by Holy Scripture,” Luther would “humbly allow himself to be instructed,” they assured Charles. As their formula of complaint put it, Luther was “unheard and undefeated by Holy Scripture”—and it made brilliant propaganda. 2 The Elector’s men were successful in securing a hearing: On March 6 the emperor instructed Luther to appear before him at Worms and gave him a safe conduct. 3 Luther thanked the Elector for his efforts, but he was well aware that he owed his protection largely to Spalatin and others in the Saxon court; it was his friendship with Spalatin that probably saved him. As well as being the Elector’s chaplain and librarian, Spalatin had at first acted as tutor to Friedrich’s nephew, the future Elector Johann Friedrich, and he traveled incessantly with Friedrich from one Saxon castle to another, from Altenburg, to Torgau, to Wittenberg. 4 As Friedrich’s advisor, Spalatin was in an extraordinarily powerful position, summarizing theological arguments for the Elector and suggesting what action to take.

• From Satyricon (1)

  the other bore a painting of the moon in her phases, and the seven planets, and the days which were lucky and those which were unlucky, distinguished by distinctive studs. We had had enough of these novelties and started to enter the dining-room when a slave, detailed to this duty, cried out, “Right foot first.” Naturally, we were afraid that some of us might break some rule of conduct and cross the threshold the wrong way; nevertheless, we started out, stepping off together with the right foot, when all of a sudden, a slave who had been stripped, threw himself at our feet, and commenced begging us to save him from punishment, as it was no serious offense for which he was in jeopardy; the steward’s clothing had been stolen from him in the baths, and the whole value could scarcely amount to ten sesterces. So we drew back our right feet and intervened with the steward, who was counting gold pieces in the hall, begging him to remit the slave’s punishment. Putting a haughty face on the matter, “It’s not the loss I mind so much,” he said, “as it is the carelessness of this worthless rascal. He lost my dinner clothes, given me on my birthday they were, by a certain client, Tyrian purple too, but it had been washed once already. But what does it amount to? I make you a present of the scoundrel!” CHAPTER THE THIRTY-FIRST. We felt deeply obligated by his great condescension, and the same slave for whom we had interceded, rushed up to us as we entered the dining-room, and to our astonishment, kissed us thick and fast, voicing his thanks for our kindness. “You’ll know in a minute whom you did a favor for,” he confided, “the master’s wine is the thanks of a grateful butler!” At length we reclined, and slave boys from Alexandria poured water cooled with snow upon our hands, while others following, attended to our feet and removed the hangnails with wonderful dexterity, nor were they silent even during this disagreeable operation, but they all kept singing at their work. I was desirous of finding out whether the whole household could sing, so I ordered a drink; a boy near at hand instantly repeated my order in a singsong voice fully as shrill, and whichever one you accosted did the same. You would not imagine that this was the dining-room of a private gentleman, but rather that it was an exhibition of pantomimes. A very inviting relish was brought on, for by now all the couches were occupied save only that of Trimalchio, for whom, after a new custom, the chief place was reserved.

• From Martin Luther (2016)

  I would like to thank in particular my friends Alison Light, whose conversations with me about Luther over many years have shaped the book; Daniel Pick, who helped me think psychoanalytically about Luther’s character; Kat Hill, who has thought through this book with me from the start; Alex Walsham, who kept me going when I lost confidence in the project; Barbara Taylor, who helped sort out the introduction, and Gadi Algazi, from whom I have learned so much. All of all them read and commented extensively on the book, as did Simon Ponsonby, who made me rethink many of my interpretations; Rosi Bartlett, who inspired me to think differently about where things took place; my brother Mike Roper, who saw what the book needed to do and kept me going; my dad, Stan Roper, to whom it is dedicated; and Ulinka Rublack, whose work has so influenced my own for so many years. I have incorporated most of their suggestions but of course they are not to blame for my mistakes. Jörg Hensgen has been an amazing editor, tirelessly spotting every weak point in the book, “smoothing out the bumps,” as he puts it, and arguing with my interpretations: I could not have been more fortunate in having an editor trained in Lutheran theology. David Milner has been an eagle-eyed copy editor, saving me from many howlers, and Anthony Hippisley an excellent proofreader; I am grateful to my wonderful American editor, Molly Turpin, and her team at Random House, and to the excellent copy editor Thomas Pitoniak and production editor Steve Messina. Clare Alexander is far more than an agent: She supported me, protected me, and made sure the book got finished. I am grateful also to Sally Riley, who deals with foreign rights but so much more. Nick Stargardt first suggested I write the book and gave me the courage to do so; he read an early version and discussed many of the ideas that gave it shape. Iain Pears generously undertook a line edit of the entire manuscript, not once but twice, and provided help and support when I needed it. Ruth Harris read the very first draft and gave me faith in the project from the start; she has read draft after draft and supported me through the difficult task of finishing it. I am lucky to have such a friend and I could not have done it without her. My stepson Anand Narsey has made me realize why it is important to understand religious traditions and my son Sam has taught me what matters in life.

• From Shunned (2018)

  The depths of your wisdom and generosity astound me and I am deeply grateful for your humility and encouragement to build upon your own work with honorable closure. One of my most cherished possessions is your handwritten note, “It is in the DNA of the human spirit to end well.” Adair Lara , for the memoir-writing classes you taught in your living room, believing this story should be told, and helping me find where it began. Leslie Keenan , for being an extraordinary writing coach and helping me map the through-line of this tale. Also, for the chocolate. Scribe Tribe (a.k.a. Rachel, Jeffrey, Mary, Marilyn, and Wendy), for your kind and incisive feedback on my early drafts and holding all of our work with tenderness. Diane Petrocelli and her team at Book Passage, for being a beacon of creative inspiration in this community and giving Scribe Tribe a gathering place year after year. Carol Ann , for your relentless belief in me and your big, beautiful heart. Tracy , for your friendship, fierce loyalty, and always holding me in love. Lanie , for the laughter and hikes and travels and code words and love. You are a true friend who has stood by me and for me since the day we met. She Writes Press —Brooke Warner and associates, I am deeply grateful for your love of good writing and ushering in a new era of publishing with your passion, courage, and innovation. Keep going! Depature Lounge Readers , for trusting me with your own stories of closure so we can all learn together. Finally, the many people around the world with whom I have had the privilege of working over the years are too numerous to mention by name, but they are woven into the fabric of this book and its message. This memoir is intended to share the lessons, love, wisdom, and inspiration that they have contributed to me. About the Author [image "Images" file=Image00002.jpg] Author photo © Abigail Huller L inda Curtis is an author, teacher, and keynote speaker whose life experience has granted her expertise on the subject of endings, large and small. As a champion of Honorable Closure—a learned process that honors endings, exits, and good-byes as a natural and dynamic part of our human experience—she mentors individuals, executives, and teams in transition, supporting them from unfinished business to dignified completion. She is a Master Mindfulness Teacher at the Google-born Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute and an accredited ICF coach. Linda lives in Marin County, California. She’s a hiker, a yogini and an avid cyclist who loves celebrating life with friends and chosen family, while enjoying the jammy notes of a fine cabernet. Learn more about her work at www.lindaacurtis.com . Selected Titles from She Writes Press She Writes Press is an independent publishing company founded to serve women writers everywhere. Visit us at www.shewritespress.com . Uncovered: How I Left Hasidic Life and Finally Came Home by Leah Lax. $16.95, 978-1-63152-995-5.

• From Shunned (2018)

  Struggling for a moment with my vanity, I decided to keep them on. I felt held together by those boots, battened down, ready for what, I could not be sure. Removing them would feel too vulnerable, too casual. Ove was in the kitchen, speaking to another person I did not recognize. He stood next to my favorite uncle, Jim, Dad’s youngest brother, and his wife. Greetings and introductions were made all around. Several bottles of wine and glasses were already set out, to which Bob added ours. Except for the drinks, the counters were cleared, ready to receive whatever food deliveries awaited us from the friends. Bob and I consciously made ourselves at home, opening and pouring our wine, passing glasses around. It was about 5:30 p.m. I looked for Randy but did not see him. I assumed he was in the guest room downstairs, collecting himself for the evening. Over the next hour, several people came by to drop off food and pay their respects. Some had attended the memorial service; others had not. Without exception, everyone greeted me. Some were cool and reserved and seemed to avoid lingering wherever I happened to be, but no one shunned me outright. Several people were genuinely happy to see me. “I’ve thought of you so many times over the years.” One woman confessed how jealous her daughter had been when she’d learned her mother would be seeing me. When her daughter was a teenager and I was still considered a good influence, her mother had me study the Bible with her. Over the years, I’d become fond of her daughter as I watched her grow up and get married. It was one of many relationships that had come to a screeching halt when I left the faith. I’d never said a proper goodbye to many of my close friends. Besides not knowing what a “proper goodbye” looked like under the circumstances, it had been all I could do to face the firing squad of family and elders; saying goodbye to my friends would have been a few bullets too many. It probably appeared cold and heartless to my friends, but my lack of contact was a self-protective measure, a hedge against sorrow. Bob seemed engrossed in conversation with Lory and Ove. I wondered what they were talking about, but the room had grown too loud to eavesdrop and I was being pulled from person to person. “So good to see you.” “Where are you living now?” “What exactly does an executive coach do?” This was a cocktail party of just under twenty people. I scanned the room and still didn’t see my brother or sister-in-law. The doorbell rang, and my father urged me to answer it. There on the front porch stood Vince Lloyd and his wife, Sarah. Sarah let out a scream of glee, handed Vince the wooden bowl she was carrying, and gave me a hug. It was the warmest greeting I’d received from anyone there.

• From Martin Luther (2016)

  Many institutions have provided me with support during the research and writing. An extension of an Alexander von Humboldt Fellowship in 2006–7 enabled me to undertake archival and library research, and thanks to the support of Gisela Bock, Jürgen Kocka, and Claudia Ulbrich, I was a Visiting Fellow at the Freie Universität Berlin. Leave from the University of Oxford enabled me to undertake the research and finish the writing, and I am grateful to my colleagues at Balliol College, Lesley Abrams, Martin Conway, and Simon Skinner, who made it possible for me to have time away. A Research Development Award from the British Academy gave me concentrated time for the book, without which I could not have written it. Grants from the Fell Fund Oxford enabled me to gain research assistance. Oriel College and the History Faculty have provided a welcoming and stimulating environment in which to complete the book. An invitation to give the Wiles Lectures at the University of Belfast in 2014 gave me a rare opportunity to try out ideas with a group of quite remarkable scholars over three intense days: I am grateful to the Wiles Trustees, and in particular to Gadi Algazi, Scott Dixon, Renate Dürr, Peter Gray, Joel Harrington, Bridget Heal, Kat Hill, Colin Kidd, Charlotte Methuen, Steve Smith, Jenny Spinks, Ulrike Strasser, and Alex Walsham, as well as to the audience in Belfast. The staff at many archives, museums, art galleries, and libraries have been unfailingly helpful and kind. First I would like to thank the staff of the Bodleian Library Oxford and the History Librarian, Isabel Holowaty; the British Library; the Wittenberg Stadtarchiv and its researchers, especially Hans-Jochen Seidel, who showed me Wittenberg; the Lutherhalle Wittenberg, in particular Jutta Strehle, who took me through the Bildersammlung, Gabi Protzmann, and Petra Wittig; the Evangelisches Predigerseminar Wittenberg Bibliothek; the Thüringisches Hauptstaatsarchiv Weimar; the Staatsbibliothek zu Berlin-Preussischer Kulturbesitz; the Landesdenkmalamt Halle; the Marienbibliothek Halle; the Stadtarchiv Eisleben; the Stadtarchiv Eisenach; Frau Günzel and Frau Kaiser of Schloss Mansfeld; the Landesarchiv Sachsen-Anhalt, Abteilung Magdeburg, Standort Magdeburg; the Landesarchiv Sachsen-Anhalt, Standort Wernigerode, in particular Susan Schulze; the Landesbibliothek Coburg; the Forschungsbibliothek Gotha; and the Herzog August Bibliothek Wolfenbüttel. No scholar can work on sixteenth-century German material without the extraordinary “VD 16” and the help of the Bayerische Staatsbibliothek Munich. Juliane Kerkhecker generously worked with me on Luther’s Latin and many of her insights are in this book. Christian Preusse, Melinda Letts, Floris Verhaart, Edmund Wareham, Martin Christ, Mikey Pears, and Raquel Candelas all gave invaluable research assistance; Candice Saunders made sure everything happened and provided flair. Nadja Pentzlin proved a phenomenal picture sleuth and organizer.

• From Vision Quest (1979)

  Cindy and Willa were here. Dad said they watched TV and babysat Willa while she babysat the cat. I didn’t realize Dad was such a sucker for little kids. I thought guys his age were over that. He gives Willa roller-coaster rides on his knee and horsey rides on his back. He buys her animal books with lots of pictures and reads them to her on his lap. A couple months ago when I was in the very most agonizing stages of my diet, Carla ran upstairs one morning and fainted in the kitchen. Dad and I had just the day before commented that she seemed to be losing weight. As she sat in a kitchen chair getting some of her color back, Dad began to ask her questions. “Carla.” He bent to look her in the face. “Have you been losing weight?” “A couple pounds,” Carla replied. “Have you been feeling sick in the mornings?” Carla and I looked at each other. Dad thought she was pregnant. “I’ve been dieting,” Carla explained in a reassuring voice. “I can’t stand to eat while Louden starves himself.” That was a surprise to both Dad and me. I told Carla please to eat and assured her that in a couple months I’d be eating like my old pig self again. Dad wanted to pursue it. “Look,” he said to both of us. “You two have a home under my roof as long as you want and you can live here any way you want. But you’ve got to be careful about your futures. Don’t let things get out of control.” He looked like he was going on, but Carla interrupted. “Dad,” she said. “I’m not pregnant and I’m not going to get pregnant.” “Well, you’ve got to be sure to use—” “Condoms,” I interrupted. Carla had been taking pills but I’d convinced her to stop. “Rubbers.” Carla smiled. “Prophylactics.” Dad nodded. “Worth a pound of cure.” I smiled at Carla. “I’m hungry,” she said. * * * I’ve just realized a funny thing. This is the first New Year’s Eve in my life I haven’t either been with Mom and Dad at midnight or talked to them on the phone to wish them a Happy New Year. My first impulse is to run upstairs right now to tell Dad Happy New Year and call Mom. By God, I’m going to. Katzen squeaks as I lift her off my chest and tuck her under the covers. Carla is dead to the world. Dad’s door is closed and I don’t hear the TV. He must be asleep. It’s nearly two o’clock. I guess I can tell him in the morning. I should probably wait till then to call Mom, too. XXIIIt’s still snowing as I run back from practice. I can’t believe it. It started on my way running home from practice yesterday, so that makes about twenty-four hours of straight snow.

• From Satyricon (1)

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• From Shunned (2018)

  It was perhaps the only form of support he could accept from me, and thus the only one that mattered. The next day, I phoned Dad to declare my intentions to visit in two days, hoping Grandma would hold on. I could fly in and out of Portland on the same day, with time to spare. That would be more than enough time to drive from the airport, get my bearings in the old neighborhood, visit Grandma, and have a bite to eat. I’d rent a car, I assured him, and didn’t expect anyone to show me around. If someone gave me the address of the hospice home, I’d locate it on my own. Bob would join me later to attend the memorial service, whenever that was, but I would make this first trip alone. Dad set the phone aside and succinctly recited my plan to Mom. There was a pause while she took it in, then a muffled reply. Back on the phone, Dad said that would be fine, except Mom had to work that day and he remained sick with the flu, quarantined from seeing Grandma. Again, I assured him I could manage alone. I never expected them to spend time with me. Dad had explained in his phone call the day before that Mom was still working part-time at a commercial insurance agency. Between that work, attending meetings at the Kingdom Hall, and keeping in daily communication with the hospice workers, she was at the outer limits of what she could take on. I had accepted the possibility I wouldn’t see her at all and predicted the memorial service would be our next encounter. Dad insisted I come by the house, where, he said, he would give me directions. I was excited to see him and hoped we would have some time alone together. I saw the day unfolding in my mind: after a brief visit with Dad, I’d drive alone to the nearby hospice home and pay my respects to Grandma. I would offer to pick up some warm soup, eat lunch with my father, and then be off to the airport in time for my five o’clock flight home. The next day, I arose at dawn to catch the early flight to Portland. As I dressed in brown slacks and a crisp blue blouse, I thought I could just as easily have been headed to a business meeting in the city. I slipped on my coat, grabbed an umbrella, and headed out the door. A faint yet persistent restlessness hung over me, a hollow anticipation that comes whenever I have to speak in front of a group, when there is nothing to do but hang out and wait, every cell of your being ready to begin. I had last been to my parents’ home six years prior, when I had traveled to Portland to attend the wedding of a girlfriend’s daughter. Coincidentally, it was within a week of my parents’ wedding anniversary.

• From Vision Quest (1979)

  Title : Vision Quest Author: Davis, Terry ASIN : B00Z7C15B4 [image "Image" file=Image00007.jpg] [image "Image" file=Image00008.jpg] For Roy and Lucille Davis AcknowledgmentsI’m not exaggerating when I say the following teachers and coaches and the one neighborhood dad helped save my life. There’s nothing in the world that lifts a kid’s spirit like a smile on the face of an adult when he or she sees you coming. If these good people are happy to see you, you can’t be as worthless as you feel. My children and I owe the following people a debt of the heart. I was just another young human being to them, but to me they are the exceptions that shaped the man I try every day to become. Everywhere Spirit, Bless these souls and the ones I’ve forgotten. Mrs. Bockmeyer Don Cobb Pat Coontz Gary Davis Maxine Dicus Joe Heslin Dick Hoover John Irving Gene Kelly Barry Livengood Pat McManus Barney Overlie Cecil Robinette Nick Scarpelli Ted Solotaroff Bill Via Bill Waddington . . . I say live it out like a god Sure of immortal life, though you are in doubt, Is the way to live it. If that doesn’t make God proud of you Then God is nothing but gravitation, Or sleep is the golden goal. —“Davis Matlock” from Edgar Lee Masters’s Spoon River Anthology IBoth Dad and I are pretty sure Shute is going to grind my body into the green surface of our David Thompson High School wrestling mat. We work hard to put that thought out of our minds, though. I don’t wrestle Shute until after the first of the year, when the weights come up two pounds and I move down from the 154-pound class—where I’m already lean—to become probably the world’s hungriest 147-pounder. I’ve got two weeks yet. We also put it out of our minds because today is my birthday and Dad had our 1941 DeSoto reupholstered in the original mohair. He presented it to me this morning in celebration of my eighteen years and my upcoming high school graduation. Still, he couldn’t forget my impending doom. After he caressed the leather armrests, rubbed up the bristling new fabric, and spun the big old steering wheel with one finger, he noted that Carla will be able to drive me around in style and solid comfort after Shute breaks all my bones. Carla is my girl friend. She lives with us. Carla loves the DeSoto. Today we eat our lunch in it, and she spreads a red-and-white checkered tablecloth over the backseat so she won’t drip yogurt on the mohair. I sit in front, manning our Sony portable cassette recorder, playing a Beatles collection and the Stones’ “Hot Rocks,” eating raw carrots and celery and hard-boiled eggs, turning to pure protein before her very eyes as she hands me another carrot. I’m down to 150.

• From Shunned (2018)

  Angeles Arrien, for lending me your cherished terrapin rattle at a very difficult time and helping me discover how to begin again. The depths of your wisdom and generosity astound me and I am deeply grateful for your humility and encouragement to build upon your own work with honorable closure. One of my most cherished possessions is your handwritten note, “It is in the DNA of the human spirit to end well.” Adair Lara, for the memoir-writing classes you taught in your living room, believing this story should be told, and helping me find where it began. Leslie Keenan, for being an extraordinary writing coach and helping me map the through-line of this tale. Also, for the chocolate. Scribe Tribe (a.k.a. Rachel, Jeffrey, Mary, Marilyn, and Wendy), for your kind and incisive feedback on my early drafts and holding all of our work with tenderness. Diane Petrocelli and her team at Book Passage, for being a beacon of creative inspiration in this community and giving Scribe Tribe a gathering place year after year. Carol Ann, for your relentless belief in me and your big, beautiful heart. Tracy, for your friendship, fierce loyalty, and always holding me in love. Lanie, for the laughter and hikes and travels and code words and love. You are a true friend who has stood by me and for me since the day we met. She Writes Press—Brooke Warner and associates, I am deeply grateful for your love of good writing and ushering in a new era of publishing with your passion, courage, and innovation. Keep going! Depature Lounge Readers, for trusting me with your own stories of closure so we can all learn together. Finally, the many people around the world with whom I have had the privilege of working over the years are too numerous to mention by name, but they are woven into the fabric of this book and its message. This memoir is intended to share the lessons, love, wisdom, and inspiration that they have contributed to me. About the Author Author photo © Abigail Huller Linda Curtis is an author, teacher, and keynote speaker whose life experience has granted her expertise on the subject of endings, large and small. As a champion of Honorable Closure—a learned process that honors endings, exits, and good-byes as a natural and dynamic part of our human experience—she mentors individuals, executives, and teams in transition, supporting them from unfinished business to dignified completion. She is a Master Mindfulness Teacher at the Google-born Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute and an accredited ICF coach. Linda lives in Marin County, California. She’s a hiker, a yogini and an avid cyclist who loves celebrating life with friends and chosen family, while enjoying the jammy notes of a fine cabernet. Learn more about her work at www.lindaacurtis.com.

• From Martin Luther (2016)

  I would like to thank in particular my friends Alison Light, whose conversations with me about Luther over many years have shaped the book; Daniel Pick, who helped me think psychoanalytically about Luther’s character; Kat Hill, who has thought through this book with me from the start; Alex Walsham, who kept me going when I lost confidence in the project; Barbara Taylor, who helped sort out the introduction, and Gadi Algazi, from whom I have learned so much. All of all them read and commented extensively on the book, as did Simon Ponsonby, who made me rethink many of my interpretations; Rosi Bartlett, who inspired me to think differently about where things took place; my brother Mike Roper, who saw what the book needed to do and kept me going; my dad, Stan Roper, to whom it is dedicated; and Ulinka Rublack, whose work has so influenced my own for so many years. I have incorporated most of their suggestions but of course they are not to blame for my mistakes. Jörg Hensgen has been an amazing editor, tirelessly spotting every weak point in the book, “smoothing out the bumps,” as he puts it, and arguing with my interpretations: I could not have been more fortunate in having an editor trained in Lutheran theology. David Milner has been an eagle-eyed copy editor, saving me from many howlers, and Anthony Hippisley an excellent proofreader; I am grateful to my wonderful American editor, Molly Turpin, and her team at Random House, and to the excellent copy editor Thomas Pitoniak and production editor Steve Messina. Clare Alexander is far more than an agent: She supported me, protected me, and made sure the book got finished. I am grateful also to Sally Riley, who deals with foreign rights but so much more. Nick Stargardt first suggested I write the book and gave me the courage to do so; he read an early version and discussed many of the ideas that gave it shape. Iain Pears generously undertook a line edit of the entire manuscript, not once but twice, and provided help and support when I needed it. Ruth Harris read the very first draft and gave me faith in the project from the start; she has read draft after draft and supported me through the difficult task of finishing it. I am lucky to have such a friend and I could not have done it without her. My stepson Anand Narsey has made me realize why it is important to understand religious traditions and my son Sam has taught me what matters in life.

• From Martin Luther (2016)

  The incident was deeply wounding, but may have had more to do with the politics of the order than the location of Luther’s studies. He had undertaken the doctorate because of Staupitz, whose more conciliatory line within the Augustinians Nathin had opposed. He may have seen Luther as a turncoat, which would explain the depths of resentment and the refusal to come to the celebration.54 Luther had been caught up in a fight over different visions of the order’s future. Luther would have spent time with his confessor both in Erfurt and Wittenberg; they would also have met on their travels across the region. Luther claimed, “I got everything from Staupitz,”55 and, after his death, he recalled his former mentor as a good and comforting presence. In 1518, in the letter he sent with his explanations of the Ninety-five Theses to Staupitz, he reminded him of a conversation about “true repentance” that had pierced him like an arrow, in which the older man had said that it must begin “with the love of God and righteousness.” Indeed, in a letter to Elector Johann Friedrich in 1545, he wrote of his debt to his confessor, saying that he must praise him “if I don’t want to be a damned, ungrateful papist ass,” because he was “my father in this teaching who gave birth to me in Christ.”56 Yet rather like his relationship with Johannes Braun in Eisenach, which also grew cold, Luther seems often to have projected qualities onto Staupitz that were not actually there, and while he later recalled Staupitz’s sayings in his table talk and writings, he often repeated the same remarks, as if his image of Staupitz had become ossified. Like Braun before him, Staupitz was another paternal figure whom Luther outgrew. In both theology and temperament the two men were fundamentally different. Luther came to insist on the primacy of Scripture as the source of all authority. Although Staupitz draws, like Luther, on Paul, he did not make such a radical claim and repeatedly cited St. Augustine and other Church Fathers.57 Like Luther, he emphasized the sinful nature of human beings and argued that our works can never earn us salvation; he too criticized indulgences. But he did not have much to say about faith as a gift from God: His emphasis is more on the sinfulness of human beings than it is on God’s gift of grace or on the Bible. He focused on the emotional disposition of the believer, who has to be encouraged to leave attachments to this world behind. Luther, although highly attuned to his own religious emotions, did not believe that attaining a particular emotional state was spiritually important.