Gratitude

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From New Testament Words (1964)

  (v) In Mark 2.15 it is said that the sinners followed Jesus. That is a most significant usage. There was that about Jesus which they knew would meet their need; they would have avoided a Pharisee, but Jesus they followed, because they knew that he knew and understood their case. We can distinguish in these uses of akolouthein five reasons for following Jesus. (i) The disciples followed Jesus because of the sheer compelling attraction of his summons. (ii) The crowds followed Jesus because they desired the things which he alone could give them. (iii) The sinners followed Jesus because they felt that he alone could enable them to mend their broken lives and to begin again. (iv) The blind men followed Jesus that they might receive their sight. They desired to experience his wonder-working power. (v) The blind men whose eyes were opened followed Jesus in sheer gratitude for what he had done for them. There we see in summary the motives of the approach of the heart to Jesus Christ. It will repay us still further to study the usages of akolouthein in the gospels. 1. We must see what following Jesus involves. (i) Following Jesus involves counting the cost. In Luke 9.59, 61, Jesus seems actually to discourage people from following him until he has made quite sure that they know what they are doing. Jesus does not want anyone to follow him on false pretences, nor will he accept an emotional and easily-moved offer of an unconsidered service. (ii) Following Jesus involves sacrifice. Repeatedly it is pointed out what people left to follow him (Luke 5.11; Matt. 4.20, 22; 19.27). The real point for us there is that following Jesus is what in modern language is called a whole-time job. But there is this difference for us—that following Jesus involves for us serving him within our work, and not by leaving it. In many cases it would be far easier to leave it; but our duty is to witness for him where he has sent us. (iii) Following Jesus involves a cross (Matt. 16.24; cp. Mark 8.34 and Luke 9.23). The real reason for that is that no man can follow Jesus and ever again do what he likes. To follow Jesus may well mean the sacrifice of the pleasures, habits, aims, ambitions which have woven themselves into our lives. Following Jesus always involves this act of surrender—and surrender is never easy. 2. We must see what following Jesus gives. In this direction there are two great promises from the Fourth Gospel. (i) To follow Jesus means to walk not in the darkness, but in the light (John 8.12). When a man walks by himself he walks in the darkness of uncertainty, and he may well end in the darkness of sin. To walk with Jesus is to be sure of the way, and in his company to be safe.

• From New Testament Words (1964)

  (ii) It is the word which Jesus used to summon men to himself. On Jesus’ lips it is the word of challenge. His commandment to Matthew is: Follow me (Mark 2.14; cp. Luke 5.27; Matt. 9.9). It is Jesus’ command to Philip (John 1.43). It is his final command to Peter (John 21.19, 22). It is his unaccepted command to the Rich Young Ruler (Matt. 19.21; cp. Luke 18.22). His command to all his would-be followers is that they should take up their cross and follow him (Mark 8.34; 10.21; Matt. 10.38; 16.24; Luke 9.23). (iii) Most commonly of all this word is used of the crowds who followed Jesus (Matt. 4.25; 8.1; 12.15; 14.13; 19.2; 20.9; 21.9; Mark 3.7; 5.24; 11.9; John 6.2). This use is very closely connected with the usage of the verb in the papyri to describe the act of attaching oneself to someone until a request is granted. Sometimes the crowds followed Jesus to experience his healing power; sometimes they followed him to listen to his words; and sometimes, towards the end, they followed him in wondering admiration to see what was going to happen to him. Another instance of this use of akolouthein in the sense of following to receive a favour is Matt. 9.27, when the two blind men are said to follow Jesus in order that he might heal them. (iv) Sometimes the following is the result of gratitude. In Matt. 20.34 the two blind men are said to follow Jesus after they had received their sight; the same is said of the blind man in Luke 18.43; and of Bartimæus in Mark 10.52. They followed because they were drawn with the cords of gratitude for what Jesus had done. (v) In Mark 2.15 it is said that the sinners followed Jesus. That is a most significant usage. There was that about Jesus which they knew would meet their need; they would have avoided a Pharisee, but Jesus they followed, because they knew that he knew and understood their case. We can distinguish in these uses of akolouthein five reasons for following Jesus. (i) The disciples followed Jesus because of the sheer compelling attraction of his summons. (ii) The crowds followed Jesus because they desired the things which he alone could give them. (iii) The sinners followed Jesus because they felt that he alone could enable them to mend their broken lives and to begin again. (iv) The blind men followed Jesus that they might receive their sight. They desired to experience his wonder-working power. (v) The blind men whose eyes were opened followed Jesus in sheer gratitude for what he had done for them. There we see in summary the motives of the approach of the heart to Jesus Christ. It will repay us still further to study the usages of akolouthein in the gospels. 1. We must see what following Jesus involves.

• From Blue Like Jazz (2003)

  (Yankee Hotel Foxtrot had just come out when I started the project, and we were all amazed and happy), so strange thanks to the makers of the sound track. Thank you for reading this book. It means a great deal to me that you would take the time. I hope we get to meet some day soon. Donald Miller has written for Believe Magazine, HM Magazine, Killing the Buddha, and many other publications. He is a frequent speaker on issues relating to Christian spirituality, literature, and culture. He lives in Portland, Oregon. For information about Donald Miller, or to book him for speaking engagements, please visit: www.bluelikejazz.com To use Don Rabbit and Don Astronaut as illustrations, download the images at: www.bluelikejazz.com For more information on Don’s writing, as well as other thought-provoking authors’ works, visit: www.BurnsideWritersCollective.com Also Available from Donald Miller Donald Miller's Through Painted Deserts chronicles free spirits Don and Paul as they set off on an adventure-filled road trip in search of deeper meaning, beauty, and an explanation for life. Along the way, everything from the nature of friendship to the reason for pain is discussed as these two friends learn unexpected lessons about themselves, each other, and God. ISBN 10: 0-7842-0982-4 ISBN 13: 978-0-7842-0982-9 Audio: 0-7852-1643-X In Searching for God Knows What, Donald Miller shows readers how most people believe millions of gospels or systems for fixing their brokenness, and why all of them are fruitless except the amazing gospel of Jesus. In this provocative and funny book, Miller shows that the greatest desire of every person is that of redemption and how it can only be truly found through this gospel. ISBN 10: 0-7852-6371-3 ISBN 13: 978-0-7852-6371-5

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  3. The cause of feeding; a. The fountain; A spring rose out of the earth, watering all the surface of the earth; … and a river went out of the place of pleasure to water Paradise. Gen. 2:6, 10. My people have done two evils. They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living water, and have digged to themselves cisterns, broken cisterns that can hold no water. Jerem. 2:13. b. The light; That was the true light, which enlighteneth every man that cometh into this world. He was in the world, and the world was made by Him, and the world knew Him not. He came unto His own, and His own received Him not. But to as many as received Him He gave power to be made the sons of God, to them that believe in His name: who are born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. St. John 1:8–12. The Lord is faithful in all His words and holy in all His works. The Lord lifteth up all that fall, and setteth up all that are cast down. The eyes of all hope in Thee, O Lord; and Thou givest them meat in due season. Thou openest Thy hand, and fillest every living creature with blessing. The Lord is just in all His ways, and holy in all His works. The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon Him; to all that call upon Him in truth. He will do the will of them that fear Him; and He will hear their prayer and will save them. The Lord keepeth all them that love Him, but the wicked He will destroy. My mouth shall speak the praise of the Lord; and let all flesh bless His holy name for ever, yea, for ever and ever. Ps. 144:13–21. Thou in the beginning, O Lord, didst found the earth, and the heavens are the works of Thy hands. They shall perish, but Thou shalt endure; and they all shall grow old as a garment, and as a vesture shalt Thou change them, and they shall be changed; but Thou art the self-same, and Thy years shall not fail. Heb. 1:10–12. (2) His Body lessened if not eaten; 1. The Body of Christ; You are the Body of Christ and members of member. 1 Cor. 12:27. As the body is one and has many members; and all the members of the body, whereas they are many, yet are one body; so also is Christ. 1 Cor. 12:12. We being many are one bread, one body; all that partake of one bread. 1 Cor. 10:17. 2. The body of the devil; His body is like molten shields, shut close up, with scales pressing upon one another. Job 41:6.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  Since the last end of rational creatures exceeds the capacity of their nature and since whatever conduces to the end must be proportionate to the end according to the right order of providence, rational creatures are given divine aids that are not merely proportionate to nature but that transcend the capacity of nature. God infuses into man, over and above the natural faculty of reason, the light of grace whereby he is internally perfected for the exercise of virtue, both as regards knowledge, inasmuch as man’s mind is elevated by this light to the knowledge of truths surpassing reason, and as regards action and affection, inasmuch as man’s affective power is raised by this light above all created things to the love of God, to hope in Him, and to the performance of acts that such love imposes. These gifts or aids supernaturally given to man are called graces for two reasons. First, because they are given by God gratis. Nothing is discoverable in man that would constitute a right to aids of this sort, for they exceed the capacity of nature. Secondly, because in a very special way man is made gratus, or pleasing to God, by such gifts. Since God’s love is the cause of goodness in things and is not called forth by any pre-existing goodness, as our love is, a special intensity of divine love must be discerned in those whom He showers with such extrsordinary effects of His goodness. Therefore God is said chiefly and simply to love those whom He endows with these effects of His love by which they are enabled to reach their last end, which is He Himself, the fountainhead of all goodness. CHAPTER 144 REMISSION OF SIN BY THE GIFTS OF GRACESins arise when actions deflect from the right course leading to the end. Since man is conducted to his end not only by natural aids, but by the aids of grace, the sins men commit must be counteracted not by natural aids alone, but also by the as helps which grace confers. Contraries exclude each other; therefore, as the aids of grace are taken from man by sin, so sins are forgiven by the gifts of grace. Otherwise man’s malice in committing sin would be more powerful in banishing divine grace than the divine goodness is in expelling sin by the gifts of grace. Furthermore, God’s providence over things is in harmony with their mode of being. Changeable things are so constituted that contraries can succeed each other in them; examples are generation and corruption in corporeal matter, and white and black in a colored object. Man is changeable in will as long as he lives his earthly life. Hence man receives from God the gifts of grace in such a way that he is able to forfeit them by sin; and the sins man commits are such that they can be remitted by the gifts of grace.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  THE Apostle teaches us in these words that we should give thanks to God the Father for three great benefits which He has granted to us through Jesus Christ. The first benefit was our justification: “Partakers of the inheritance.” The second benefit is our liberation from the power of the Devil: “Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness.” The third benefit is translation into the eternal kingdom: “And hath translated us into the kingdom of His dear Son.” I. On the first head it is to be noted, that it is a three-fold inheritance which God distributes to His saints. (1) Eternal predestination: “In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of Him Who worketh all things after the council of His own will; that we should be to the praise of His glory, who first trusted in Christ,” Eph. 1:11, 12. (2) Justification: “Unto him shall be given the chosen gift of faith, and an inheritance in the temple of the Lord,” Wisd. 3:14. (3) Eternal glorification: “Now is he numbered among the children of God, and his lot is among the saints,” Wisd. 5:5. II. On the second head it is to be noted, that God in a three-fold manner delivers us from the power of the Devil. (1) By liberating us from the service of the Devil: “That through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is the Devil; and deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage,” Heb. 2:14. The Devil is the prince of darkness: “We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world,” Eph. 6:12. (2) By illuminating the darkness of our ignorance by the light of His doctrine: “The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light,” Isa. 9:12. “Who hath called you out of darkness into His marvellous light: which in time past were not the people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy,” 1 S. Pet. 2:9, 10. (3) By putting to flight the darkness of our sins by the light of His powers: “Ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light,” Eph. 5:8.

• From New Testament Words (1964)

  The covenant with Abraham is still remembered (Acts 7.8). The covenant with the people of Israel is still stressed (Acts 3.25; Rom. 9.4). But very specially it is used of that new relationship between man and God which was made possible by the life and death of Jesus (Matt. 26.28; Mark 14.24; Luke 22.20; II Cor. 3.6). In the NT it is a characteristic word of the letter to the Hebrews to describe this new and better relationship between God and man (Heb. 7.22; 8.6, 9, 10; 12.24; 13.20). So far everything is straightforward, but the real problem is this—the normal Greek word for a covenant between two people is sunthēkē, which is the word everywhere used for a marriage covenant, or an agreement between persons or states. In all normal Greek in all ages diathēkē means, not a ‘covenant’, but a ‘will’. Kata diathēkēn is the regular term for ‘according to the terms of the will’. In a papyrus a testator leaves houses and gardens in accordance with the dispositions (diathēkas) which are deposited in the temple of Aphrodite, with Eunomides the governor, and with Ctesiphon the lawyer. Why should the NT never use sunthēkē and always diathēkē? The reason is this. Sunthēkē always describes ‘an agreement made on equal terms’, an agreement which either party can alter. But the word ‘covenant’ means something different. God and man do not meet on equal terms; it means that God, of his own choice and in his free grace, offered man this relationship, which man cannot alter or change or annul, but which he can only accept or refuse. Now the supreme example of such an agreement is ‘a will’. The conditions of a will are not made on equal terms. They are made by one person and accepted by the other, who cannot alter them and who could not have made them. Our relationship with God is not something into which we entered in our own right and on our own terms; it is something given to us solely and completely on the initiative and in the grace of God. Philo says, ‘A covenant is a symbol of grace which God sets between himself who extends the boon and man who receives it.’ ‘It is fitting for God to give and for a wise man to receive.’ The very word ‘covenant’, diathēkē, is a word which in itself sums up our ‘debt’ and our ‘duty’ to God. We are in ‘debt’ because our new relationship to God is due to the approach of God and to nothing that we could ever have done.

• From New Testament Words (1964)

  The Christian is always in the position of one who needs and desires the favour and the grace and the help which Jesus Christ can give to him, and who follows Christ because in Christ alone he finds his need supplied. We now turn to the use of akolouthein in the NT itself It is very frequent there. (i) It is used of the disciples who left their various trades and occupations and followed Jesus. So it is used of Peter and Andrew (Mark 1.18; cp. Matt. 4.20). It is used of the two disciples of John the Baptist who followed Jesus when John pointed at Jesus as the Lamb of God (John 1.37). It is used of the reaction of the disciples after the miraculous catch of fishes; they forsook all and followed Jesus (Luke 5.11). It is the claim of the disciples towards the end that they have left everything to follow Jesus (Matt. 19.27). It is used of the would-be disciples whom Jesus told to think again before they launched out on the adventure of following him (Matt. 8.19; cp. Luke 9.59, 61). (ii) It is the word which Jesus used to summon men to himself. On Jesus’ lips it is the word of challenge. His commandment to Matthew is: Follow me (Mark 2.14; cp. Luke 5.27; Matt. 9.9). It is Jesus’ command to Philip (John 1.43). It is his final command to Peter (John 21.19, 22). It is his unaccepted command to the Rich Young Ruler (Matt. 19.21; cp. Luke 18.22). His command to all his would-be followers is that they should take up their cross and follow him (Mark 8.34; 10.21; Matt. 10.38; 16.24; Luke 9.23). (iii) Most commonly of all this word is used of the crowds who followed Jesus (Matt. 4.25; 8.1; 12.15; 14.13; 19.2; 20.9; 21.9; Mark 3.7; 5.24; 11.9; John 6.2). This use is very closely connected with the usage of the verb in the papyri to describe the act of attaching oneself to someone until a request is granted. Sometimes the crowds followed Jesus to experience his healing power; sometimes they followed him to listen to his words; and sometimes, towards the end, they followed him in wondering admiration to see what was going to happen to him. Another instance of this use of akolouthein in the sense of following to receive a favour is Matt. 9.27, when the two blind men are said to follow Jesus in order that he might heal them. (iv) Sometimes the following is the result of gratitude. In Matt. 20.34 the two blind men are said to follow Jesus after they had received their sight; the same is said of the blind man in Luke 18.43; and of Bartimæus in Mark 10.52. They followed because they were drawn with the cords of gratitude for what Jesus had done.

• From Love & Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy (2018)

  “Father,” he said aloud while he drove the car, “thanks for my wife who was willing to put it all out there tonight. Thanks that the students responded. We pray for each one of them, those who responded, and those who didn’t. We ask You to wrap them up in Your arms of love and heal their messed-up lives. Thanks that You are the healer and we just get to participate in this adventure You have called us to. We trust You to do a good work in each of their lives and to keep working in ours. We love You, clearly because You first loved us God.” Kaycie threw her purse on the counter and headed to take a shower. She stood there for a long time, just letting the hot water run over her shoulders. Eventually, James poked his head into the shower and asked if he could join her. She smiled and said, “Sure, you can, but just FYI, I need to talk before we do anything else.” “Oh yeah, totally. . .I get that,” James replied. His body brushed up against her as she made room for him in the tiny shower. She felt a warmth flood her body that wasn’t typical. Instead of feeling uncomfortable, Kaycie looked him in the eyes and held his gaze. Yep, he was melting her and as much as she wanted to have him right then and there she stepped out of the shower and grabbed her towel. She slipped into a beautiful white silk robe she bought wondering if she would ever be able to embrace the sexy side of herself. Tonight she felt ready. “It’s beautiful outside. Do you want a drink and we can sit on the back porch for a while?” “Yeah, absolutely,” James said, as he toweled off his hair. He waited for her as she poured them both a drink and came out and sat close beside him. He reached over and played with the strands of her hair fallen from the pile on top of her head. “You look beautiful; you take my breath away. You were amazing tonight, so confident, so powerful. You filled my heart so full I thought it was going to burst with gratitude that you are my wife.” She smiled at him with her mouth and eyes. “James, I realized something tonight. Something so powerful it felt like an epiphany. I think it will change us. You know how you have commented on how it feels like I hold back a part of myself from you? And you have mentioned how I just blow you off and say I don’t know what you are talking about?” He nodded.

• From New Testament Words (1964)

  We have a ‘duty’ because we have to accept God’s conditions of love and faith and obedience, and we cannot alter them. The very word shows that we can never meet God on equal terms, but only on terms of submission and of gratitude. Samuel Rutherfurd drew up his own catechism and in it he writes, ‘What moved God to make the covenant of grace?’ And he answers, ‘His own free mercy and grace, for when he made it we were like forlorn bastards and half-dead foundlings that were cast out in the open field to die in their own blood (that actually happened to unwanted children in Rutherfurd’s day) when our Lord came by and made a covenant with us.’ The very word diathēkē has in it the inescapable truth that ‘all is of God’. EILIKRINĒS AND EILIKRINEIA THE PERFECT PURITY Eilikrinēs and eilikrineia—the first is the adjective and the second is the noun—are two most interesting words. Eilikrinēs occurs in Phil. 1.10, where the AV translates it ‘sincere’, the American RSV ‘pure’, and Moffatt ‘transparent’; it also occurs in II Pet. 3.1, where both the AV and Moffatt translate it ‘pure’, and the American RSV ‘sincere’. Eilikrineia, the noun, occurs in I Cor. 5.8, II Cor. 1.12 and II Cor. 2.17. The regular translation of all the versions is ‘sincerity’, with the one exception that Moffatt in the first example translates it ‘innocence’. Neither the noun nor the adjective is very common in classical Greek. In classical Greek eilikrinēs has two characteristic usages. First it means ‘unmixed, without alloy, pure’. For instance, fire, the purest thing of all, is said to be eilikrinēs. It is used of a ‘total’ eclipse of the sun. Second, it is used as we use the words ‘pure’ and ‘sheer’. For instance it is used of ‘pure’ intellect, or ‘sheer’, ‘unrelieved’ evil. In the papyri neither is common. A suppliant appeals to the eilikrineia of an official, where the word must mean ‘probity, fairness, justice’. The etymology and derivation of these words in Greek has always been doubtful. There are two suggestions. (i) They may be derived from a Greek word eilein which means ‘to shake to and fro in a sieve’ until the last particle of foreign matter is extracted and the substance is left absolutely pure. So then these words describe a purity which is ‘sifted’. They describe the character which has been so cleansed and purified by the grace of God that there is no evil admixture left. (ii) They may be derived from a combination of two Greek words, heilē, which means ‘the sunlight’, and krinein, which means ‘to judge’. They would, in that case, describe something which can stand the judgment of the sunlight, something which even when it is held up to the clear light of the sun reveals no faults and flaws. There is a vivid picture here. In the eastern bazaars the shops were small and dark and shadowed.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  a. As St. Peter teaches us, God has given us very great and precious promises, that is, Himself, and we are made partakers of the Divine nature, that is, of the Divine goodness, for the nature of God is goodness. St. Ambrose says, ‘Because the Lord Jesus is both God and man, therefore thou who receivest His Flesh art a partaker of the Divine Substance in that food.’ Thus you will have true goodness in Him. b. We have before seen what is signified by the high cedar. The shoot from the marrow and the top is the Body of Jesus, filled with His Godhead. This planted on a high mountain, that is, in the heart of the just, lifted up to Heaven, makes him like our Lord, and fruitful in good works. N. Thus in both these ways Jesus dwells in us, and makes us like Himself by inward goodness and outward work. Hence it was said to St. Augustin, ‘I am the food of the great: grow, and thou shalt feed on Me; but thou wilt not change Me to thyself, but I will change thee to Myself.’ c. He gives us power to become the sons of God: He makes us heirs of Heaven and co-heirs with Himself. The heritage for which we wait is incorruptible, undefiled, and fadeth not away. The Voice of the Holy Ghost (1) About the true Bread; My Father giveth you the true Bread from Heaven. St. John 6:32. 1. It satisfies; I will satisfy her poor with bread. Ps. 131:15. A soul that is full shall tread upon the honeycomb. Prov. 27:7. 2. It strengthens; The earth shall be filled with the fruit of Thy works.… that bread may strengthen man’s heart. Ps. 103:13, 15. Nabuchodonosor, King of Babylon, came, he and all his army, against Jerusalem; and they surrounded it and raised works round about it.… A famine prevailed in the city, and there was no bread for the people of the land.… All the men of war fled in the night between the two walls of the king’s garden; … and Sedecias fled by the way that leadeth to the plains of the wilderness.… The army of the Chaldees pursued after the king, and overtook him in the plains of Jericho.… So they took the king and brought him to the King of Babylon; … and he put out his eyes and bound him with chains. 4 Kings 25:1–7. 3. It preserves life; The bread of the needy is the life of the poor. Ecclus. 34:25. I am the Living Bread which came down from Heaven.… As the living Father has sent Me, and I live by the Father, so he that eateth Me shall live by Me. St. John 6:51, 58. Praise the Lord, O my soul; in my life I will praise the Lord; as long as I shall be I will sing to my God. Ps. 145:1.

• From Dirty Pretty Things (2014)

  Acknowledgments To my mum and dad, for all the freedom, love, and support you’ve always given me. My sister, Genevieve, who sacrifices so much of her life to help others. Respect. My grandparents, who spoiled me in the nicest possible way. To my ridiculously clever son, Oliver. I love you more than all the words in the world. My beautifully mad friends (you know who you are), thank you for the wine, conversation, and endless laughter. And last, but by no means least, a special thank-you to my readers, for your continued support and wonderful kindness. About the Author Michael Faudet has done many interesting things. Most notable was enjoying an eighteen-year career working for arguably one of the most creative advertising networks in the world. During his time at DDB, he held the positions of director on the Australian management board, managing partner in New Zealand, and executive creative director in the Auckland, Sydney, and Melbourne offices. He has tutored extensively, guest lectured at universities, sat on many industry judging panels, and has spoken at creative conferences around the world. Michael has also won numerous international awards in some of the most prestigious advertising shows. In 2013, he decided to walk away from advertising to focus on his own creativity and writing. He also helped launch the international best seller Love & Misadventure by author Lang Leav. Michael’s poetry and prose explores the many facets of love and relationships. His whimsical and sometimes erotic writing quickly went viral and continues to attract a growing cult following of readers from around the world. His first book, Dirty Pretty Things, is a collection of poetry, prose, quotes, and short stories. He is currently working on his second book, a modern-day fairy tale with dark, gothic undertones. When he is not writing, you’ll find Michael sharing a bottle of wine with his poet girlfriend, Lang Leav, in their little house by the sea.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  PSEUDO-CHRYSOSTOM. The present passage instructs all parents to bring their children to the priests, for it is not the priest who lays his hands on them, but Christ, in whose name hands are laid. For if he that offers his food in prayer to God eats it sanctified, for it is sanctified by the word of God, and by prayer, as the Apostle speaks, how much rather ought children to be offered to God, and sanctified? (1 Tim. 4:5.) And this is the reason of blessing of food, Because the whole world lieth in wickedness; (1 John 5:19.) so that all things that have body, which are a great part of the world, lie in wickedness. Consequently infants when born, are as respects their flesh lying in wickedness. ORIGEN. Mystically; We call them children who are yet carnal in Christ, having need of milk. They who bring the babes to the Saviour, are they who profess to have knowledge of the word, but are still simple, and have for their food children’s lessons, being yet novices. They who seem more perfect, and are therefore the disciples of Jesus, before they have learnt the way of righteousness which is for children, rebuke those who by simple doctrine bring to Christ children and babes, that is, such as are less learned. But the Lord exhorting His disciples now become men to condescend to the needs of babes, to be babes to babes, that they may gain babes, says, For of such is the kingdom of heaven. For He Himself also, when He was in the form of God, was made a babe. These things we should attend to, lest in esteeming that more excellent wisdom, and spiritual advancement, as though we were become great we should despise the little ones of the Church, forbidding children to be brought to Jesus. But since children cannot follow all things that are commanded them, Jesus laid His hands upon them, and leaving virtue in them by His touch, went away from them, seeing they were not able to follow Him, like the other more perfect disciples. REMIGIUS. Also laying His hands upon them, He blessed them, to signify that the lowly in spirit are worthy His grace and blessing. GLOSS. (non occ.) He laid His hands upon them while men held them, to signify that the grace of His aid was necessary. HILARY. The infants are a type of the Gentiles, to whom salvation is rendered by faith and hearing. But the disciples, in their first zeal for the salvation of Israel, forbid them to approach, but the Lord declares that they are not to be forbidden. For the gift of the Holy Ghost was to be conferred upon the Gentiles by laying on of hands, as soon as the Law had ceased. 19:16–2216. And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  GREGORY. (Mor. ii. 37) When His Passion was approaching, He is said to have taken bread and given thanks. He therefore gave thanks, who took upon Him the stripes of other men’s wickedness; He who did nothing worthy of smiting, humbly gives a blessing in His Passion, to shew us, what each should do when beaten for his own sins, since He Himself bore calmly the stripes due to the sin of others; furthermore to shew us, what we who are the subjects of the Father should do under correction, when He who is His equal gave thanks under the lash. BEDE. (ubi sup.) The wine of the Lord’s cup is mixed with water, because we should remain in Christ and Christ in us. For on the testimony of John, the waters are the people, and it is not lawful for any one to offer either wine alone, or water alone, lest such an oblation should mean that the head may be severed from the members, and either that Christ could suffer without love for our redemption, and that we can be saved or be offered to the Father without His Passion. (Apoc. 17:15) It goes on: And they all drank of it. PSEUDO-JEROME. Happy intoxication, saving fulness, which the more we drink gives the greater sobriety of mind! THEOPHYLACT. Some say that Judas did not partake in these mysteries, but that he went out before the Lord gave the Sacrament. Some again say that He gave him also of that Sacrament. CHRYSOSTOM. (ubi sup.) For Christ offered His blood to him who betrayed Him, that he might have remission of his sins, if he had chosen to cease to be wicked. PSEUDO-JEROME. Judas therefore drinks and is not satisfied, nor can he quench the thirst of the everlasting fire, because he unworthily partakes of the mysteries of Christ. There are some in the Church whom the sacrifice does not cleanse, but their foolish thought draws them on to sin, for they have plunged themselves in the stinking slough of cruelty. CHRYSOSTOM. (ubi sup.) Let there not be therefore a Judas at the table of the Lord; this sacrifice is spiritual food, for as bodily food, working on a belly filled with humours which are opposed to it, is hurtful, so this spiritual food if taken by one polluted with wickedness, rather brings him to perdition, not by its own nature, but through the fault of the recipient. Let therefore our mind be pure in all things, and our thought pure, for that sacrifice is pure. There follows: And he said unto them, This is my blood of the New Testament, which is shed for many.

• From Love & Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy (2018)

  So here is my encouragement to you: Do it. Do it often, as often as is fun. Push yourself a little. Get your groove on. Find your mojo. Don’t let this beautiful thing God made die. That’s a sad, long, painful death. Fight for it. Don’t give up on it. Don’t be passive or aggressive about it. Do whatever you have to do to make this work for you both. Talk. Become sexual friends. Turn him on. Turn her on. Get help. Give it your best and your all. Be courageous. Go for it. Seriously, your marriage will be more fun, richer, deeper, sexier, much more connected if you do! It’s the only thing you have that is all yours. It’s your private heaven on earth. Make out on the couch, in the shower, in the car. Be sexual with each other. Make it all it can be. There are no limits, only the ones you put on it. A FINAL NOTE While writing this book my eyes have frequently wandered to a photo of Ron and me with our six grandchildren. We are seated next to each other and he has his arms wrapped around our three grandsons and I have mine wrapped around our three granddaughters. Soon we will welcome another grandchild into our clan. All of our faces are lit up with the shared love we have for one another. Tears fill my eyes as I think about the times we wondered if we would make it, or were tempted to give up. Our love and attachment have held us steady along with the solid arms of the Lord we both love. Ron and I fell in love in high school and married shortly after we graduated. We were young. We have had to fight for our marriage many times. Just last weekend we hurt each other through a silly misunderstanding. (It didn’t seem silly at the time.) But as my eyes wander to this photo reminding me of our history together, I am so grateful we have struggled to create a legacy. You have a legacy to create as well. Just like the characters you have been reading about. Each of them have choices to make. Will they choose to heal? Will they press in and do the hard work of becoming healthy human beings? Will they have the courage to face the past so it does not define their future? Will they stay lost in sexual confusion or will they make the hard choices needed to heal? It’s not easy work and it certainly isn’t an automatic given we will truly become adults. Every adult has to work on their character structure, their belief systems, and must work through the history that formed and shaped them.

• From Love & Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy (2018)

  Olivia stood in the front of the room and shook her head, looking for the words to say. “I’m so moved and deeply humbled by your vulnerable sharing. You have all touched my heart in many different ways. And I’m honored to watch as God’s word comes to life. He does take what the enemy meant for evil and uses it for our good. Only God can do that. Thank you for being real today, for being open and vulnerable, for contending for your marriages, and for your own souls. How about I pray for you and then we will have some group time?” Olivia offered. “Father, I am grateful for this group of people. Their vulnerability has melted my heart and reminded me of why we are better together. You are the one who said to never forsake getting together. We are all humbled by your presence and how we have felt you interacting with us on this topic. I get the impression you are overjoyed we are talking about what is so dear to Your heart.” MOVING FORWARD Here are questions to ponder: 1.​Have you been making love or having sex? 2.​How are you “knowing” your spouse? Or what are you doing to cultivate yada? 3.​How is your attachment? Are you avoidant? What happened in your childhood to cause you to become avoidant? 4.​How can you practice letting your spouse in? 5.​If you were to share something no one knows about you, what would it be? ELEVEN Hold Me What’s a self-fulfilling prophecy? Well, let me give you an example. Growing up, I wanted my dad’s love and attention. So I tried all kinds of ways to get it, and, at times, I felt loved by him. Then other times, he would flip a switch and become violent and raging. He was terrifying in those moments, and I believed if he truly loved me he wouldn’t be violent toward me and hurt me. Sadly, I have carried that belief into my own marriage. I can feel completely loved by Ron, until occasionally something happens to trigger that pain inside me. As quickly as I can bat my eyelashes, I can sink into that old belief that the most significant man in my life doesn’t love me. I start to rehearse the same verse from childhood. If Ron really loved me he would. . . fill in the blank.

• From Four Days to Glory: Wrestling with the Soul of the American Heartland (2005)

  Wrestling, of course, happens on weekends. Kevin had to make a call. He decided that it was time for him to be home on Saturdays and Sundays so that his wife could effectively be with their children the other five days of the week. But his wife wouldn’t agree. “She told me to wait one more year,” Kevin says. “She told me to stay on for Jay’s senior year. I mean, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing for me, a four-time state champion from your own school. She said, ‘Stay with Jay through this.’” It had worked for Jay in the past, to be surrounded by the same group of coaches each day, to go to Des Moines each February with the same supporting cast. He even insisted on the same pre-match warm-up for the championships, and Kevin was a part of that warm-up—part of the whole week, really. It was as if Kevin needed to be around in order for Jay to succeed, and Kevin’s wife understood that. McCauley himself didn’t need the motivation. He could put off the end of his coaching life for one more year if it meant seeing how this thing played out. Now, looking down from the catwalk, watching Jay take apart his first victim of the day, Kevin sees a young wrestler who has come remarkably close to realizing every last bit of his potential on the high school stage. This next act may well be Linn-Mar’s finest as a wrestling program. “She was right,” Kevin suddenly says. “It was worth staying.” Just down the way, Jim Borschel leans against the wall, watching the first match play itself out. Carol logs her usual miles, flitting back and forth, seemingly putting herself through her son’s moves as he executes them down on the mat in real time. It isn’t merely blowing off steam; this is how Carol works her way through every one of the Linn-Mar wrestlers’ matches. What Carol doesn’t yet know, not that it would matter too terribly, is that this isn’t going to be one of those nervous kinds of days, at least not where Jay is concerned. Jay has spent a winter watching teams run away from him, but the beauty of the tournaments is that there really is no place to run. He finally has the wrestling world right where he wants it. In the conference semifinal, Jay draws Dan Chmelar from Hempstead, the one whose coach wisely but anticlimactically moved him away from Jay during the teams’ dual meet a few weeks ago in this gym. “Jay didn’t forget that,” Jim says; and now, with a conference’s worth of fans looking on, the opportunity is there to do something about it. When the referee fires a shrill blast through his whistle to begin the match, Jay closes on Chmelar immediately. There is no hesitation. There is no question about choosing a proper angle. Jay is on the Hempstead wrestler almost before the ref can get out of the way.

• From Little Women (1868)

  I felt so rich, so happy thinking of my blessings, that I made him a nice bundle, gave him some money, and thanked him heartily for the lesson he had taught me." "Tell another story, Mother, one with a moral to it, like this. I like to think about them afterward, if they are real and not too preachy," said Jo, after a minute's silence. Mrs. March smiled and began at once, for she had told stories to this little audience for many years, and knew how to please them. "Once upon a time, there were four girls, who had enough to eat and drink and wear, a good many comforts and pleasures, kind friends and parents who loved them dearly, and yet they were not contented." (Here the listeners stole sly looks at one another, and began to sew diligently.) "These girls were anxious to be good and made many excellent resolutions, but they did not keep them very well, and were constantly saying, 'If only we had this,' or 'If we could only do that,' quite forgetting how much they already had, and how many things they actually could do. So they asked an old woman what spell they could use to make them happy, and she said, 'When you feel discontented, think over your blessings, and be grateful.'" (Here Jo looked up quickly, as if about to speak, but changed her mind, seeing that the story was not done yet.) "Being sensible girls, they decided to try her advice, and soon were surprised to see how well off they were. One discovered that money couldn't keep shame and sorrow out of rich people's houses, another that, though she was poor, she was a great deal happier, with her youth, health, and good spirits, than a certain fretful, feeble old lady who couldn't enjoy her comforts, a third that, disagreeable as it was to help get dinner, it was harder still to go begging for it and the fourth, that even carnelian rings were not so valuable as good behavior. So they agreed to stop complaining, to enjoy the blessings already possessed, and try to deserve them, lest they should be taken away entirely, instead of increased, and I believe they were never disappointed or sorry that they took the old woman's advice." "Now, Marmee, that is very cunning of you to turn our own stories against us, and give us a sermon instead of a romance!" cried Meg. "I like that kind of sermon. It's the sort Father used to tell us," said Beth thoughtfully, putting the needles straight on Jo's cushion. "I don't complain near as much as the others do, and I shall be more careful than ever now, for I've had warning from Susie's downfall," said Amy morally. "We needed that lesson, and we won't forget it.

• From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)

  Reply to Objection 5: A poor man is certainly not ungrateful if he does what he can. For since kindness depends on the heart rather than on the deed, so too gratitude depends chiefly the heart. Hence Seneca says (De Benef. ii): “Who receives a favor gratefully, has already begun to pay it back: and that we are grateful for favors received should be shown by the outpourings of the heart, not only in his hearing but everywhere.” From this it is evident that however well off a man may be, it is possible to thank him for his kindness by showing him reverence and honor. Wherefore the Philosopher says (Ethic. viii, 14): “He that abounds should be repaid with honor, he that is in want should be repaid with money”: and Seneca writes (De Benef. vi): “There are many ways of repaying those who are well off, whatever we happen to owe them; such as good advice, frequent fellowship, affable and pleasant conversation without flattery.” Therefore there is no need for a man to desire neediness or distress in his benefactor before repaying his kindness, because, as Seneca says (De Benef. vi), “it were inhuman to desire this in one from whom you have received no favor; how much more so to desire it in one whose kindness has made you his debtor!” If, however, the benefactor has lapsed from virtue, nevertheless he should be repaid according to his state, that he may return to virtue if possible. But if he be so wicked as to be incurable, then his heart has changed, and consequently no repayment is due for his kindness, as heretofore. And yet, as far as it possible without sin, the kindness he has shown should be held in memory, as the Philosopher says (Ethic. ix, 3). Reply to Objection 6: As stated in the preceding reply, repayment of a favor depends chiefly on the affection of the heart: wherefore repayment should be made in such a way as to prove most beneficial. If, however, through the benefactor’s carelessness it prove detrimental to him, this is not imputed to the person who repays him, as Seneca observes (De Benef. vii): “It is my duty to repay, and not to keep back and safeguard my repayment.” Whether a man is bound to repay a favor at once?Objection 1: It seems that a man is bound to repay a favor at once. For we are bound to restore at once what we owe, unless the term be fixed. Now there is no term prescribed for the repayment of favors, and yet this repayment is a duty, as stated above [3188](A[3]). Therefore a man is bound to repay a favor at once. Objection 2: Further, a good action would seem to be all the more praiseworthy according as it is done with greater earnestness. Now earnestness seems to make a man do his duty without any delay. Therefore it is apparently more praiseworthy to repay a favor at once.

• From New Testament Words (1964)

  (i) In the Septuagint proslambanesthai is often used of the way in which God receives his people. In Ps. 27.10 the Psalmist says that when his father and mother abandon him the Lord ‘will take him up’. In Ps. 65.4 the Psalmist sings of the happiness of the man whom God chooses and ‘takes to himself. In I Sam. 12.22 it is used when Samuel says that the Lord has graciously ‘taken Israel to himself’ for a people. Here, then, is the first thing this word tells us. When we receive others we should receive them as God receives them. The same word is used for God’s reception of his people and the Christian’s reception of his fellow-man. In our welcome to others there must be all the generosity, the forgiveness, the sheer kindness of God. (ii) In classical Greek it is used widely and regularly of ‘taking someone to oneself as a helper’. It is used by Xenophon of a leader who receives as his helpers a new force of cavalry and infantry. He uses it of a leader who brings cities into alliance with himself either with or against their will. It is particularly used with three Greek words. It is used with summachos, which means ‘an ally’, with sunergos, which means a ‘fellow-labourer’, and with koinōnos, which means ‘a partner in a business’. When we receive someone into the Church and the Christian fellowship we receive him as ‘an ally’ and a ‘helper’. That means two things, (a) For us, it means that we must never receive anyone into the Christian fellowship without an honest attempt to see how his gifts may best be used for the good of the fellowship. The Church is full of peoplb with gifts which have never been used. (b) For the person received, it means that he must enter the Christian fellowship, not with a view to resting back and doing nothing, but with a view to bringing all his strength and talents to bear on the Christian campaign. The Church is equally full of people who have gifts and will not place them at the disposal of the Church. (iii) In papyrus Greek proslambanesthai has two specially significant usages, (a) It is used of ‘welcoming a person into one’s house and home’. When a person is received into the fellowship of the Church, he does not enter as a stranger into the midst of strangers; he enters as a member of a family into a family. Introductions are needless; there ought to be no strangeness to be bridged. The Church is a family, not a band of strangers who do not know each other, (b) In late Greek proslambanesthai is the technical term for ‘enrolling a soldier into the army’. It is the word for receiving the enlisted man into the unit in which he is to serve. When a man enters the fellowship of the Church, he enlists in the army of Christ; he becomes a soldier of Christ.