Fear
Fear is the body reading a threat as near — the breath shortens, the skin tightens, the attention collapses onto the single thing that might do harm. It arrives faster than thought and is rarely wrong about the fact of danger, only sometimes about its size. Vela reads fear as a primary emotion, distinct from the anxiety it shades into, and follows the writers who have written from inside it rather than about it from a safe distance.
Working definition · Threat-focused arousal—danger, loss, or harm feels proximate or plausible.
10570 passages · 1 Vela essay · in 1 cluster
Vela’s read on this emotion
Fear is one of the few emotions the body insists on before the mind has a vote, and that priority is the first thing the reading respects. Fear is not cowardice and not weakness; it is the oldest of the alarm systems, and the writers worth following have treated it as testimony rather than as something to be talked out of.
The reading is densest where fear has been lived under, not merely felt. Anne Frank's diary keeps fear as a daily condition — the specific dread of the footstep on the stair — held alongside the ordinary business of being fifteen. Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning reads fear inside the camps without flattening it into a lesson. The literature of illness and the body — the memoir written from inside a diagnosis — holds the particular fear of one's own body becoming the threat. The contemplative inheritance treats fear as a serious subject across centuries: the fear of the Lord in the Hebrew scriptures is closer to awe than to terror, and the distinction is one the reading keeps.
Fear is not the same as anxiety, dread, or terror. Fear has an object the body can point to; anxiety is fear without a fixed address, braced against what might come. Dread is fear stretched forward in time, waiting. Terror is fear past the point where action remains possible. The four are kin and the reading keeps them apart, because the difference is the difference between what the body can do and what it can only endure.
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An essay on how this word lives in language, in the tagged corpus, and in figurative art when curators pair passage with image — not a list of stages, not permission to feel.
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Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.
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10570 tagged passages
From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)
6 Then the LORD called yet again, “Samuel!” So Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am, for you called me.” But Eli answered, “I did not call, my son; lie down again.” 7 Now Samuel did not yet know [or personally experience] the LORD , and the word of the LORD was not yet revealed [directly] to him. 8 So the LORD called Samuel a third time. And he stood and went to Eli and said, “Here I am, for you did call me.” Then Eli understood that it was the LORD [who was] calling the boy. 9 So Eli said to Samuel, “Go, lie down, and it shall be that if He calls you, you shall say, ‘Speak, LORD , for Your servant is listening.’ ” So Samuel went and lay down in his place. 10 Then the LORD came and stood and called as at the previous times, “Samuel! Samuel!” Then Samuel answered, “Speak, for Your servant is listening.” 11 The LORD said to Samuel, “Behold, I am about to do a thing in Israel at which both ears of everyone who hears it will ring. 12 “On that day I will carry out against Eli everything that I have spoken concerning his house (family), from beginning to end. 13 “Now I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the sinful behavior which he knew [was happening], because his sons were bringing a curse on themselves [dishonoring and blaspheming God] and he did not rebuke them. 14 “Therefore I have sworn to the house of Eli that the sinful behavior of Eli’s house (family) shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever.” 15 So Samuel lay down until morning. Then he opened the doors of the LORD ’s house. But Samuel was afraid to tell the vision to Eli. 16 But Eli called Samuel and said, “Samuel, my son.” And he answered, “Here I am.” 17 Then Eli said, “What is it that He said to you? Please do not hide it from me. May God do the same to you, and more also, if you hide from me anything of all that He said to you.” 18 So Samuel told him everything, hiding nothing from him. And Eli said, “It is the LORD ; may He do what seems good b to Him.” 19 Now Samuel grew; and the LORD was with him and He let none of his words c fail [to be fulfilled]. [Josh 23:14 ] 20 And all Israel from Dan [in the north] to Beersheba [in the south] knew that Samuel was appointed as a prophet of the LORD . 21 And the LORD continued to appear in Shiloh, for the LORD revealed Himself to Samuel in Shiloh by the word of the LORD . 1 Samuel 4 Philistines Take the Ark in Victory 1 A ND THE word of [the LORD through] Samuel came to all Israel.
From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)
3 “As for me, I will go out and stand beside my father in the field where you are, and I will speak with my father about you, and if I learn anything, then I will tell you.” 4 Then Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, “May the king not sin against his servant David, since he has not sinned against you, and since his deeds have been very beneficial to you. 5 “For he took his life in his hand and killed the Philistine, and the LORD brought about a great victory for all Israel; you saw it and rejoiced. Why then would you sin against innocent blood by killing David without a cause?” 6 Saul listened to Jonathan and swore [an oath], “As the LORD lives, he shall not be put to death.” 7 So Jonathan called David and told him all these things. And Jonathan brought David to Saul, and he was a in his presence [serving him] as previously. 8 Then there was war again, and David went out and fought with the Philistines and defeated them with a great slaughter, and they fled before him. 9 Then an evil spirit from the LORD came on Saul as he was sitting in his house with his spear in his hand, and David was playing the harp with his hand. 10 Saul tried to pin David to the wall with the spear, but he escaped from Saul’s presence, so that Saul only stuck the spear into the wall. Then David fled and escaped that night. 11 Then Saul sent messengers to David’s house to watch for him, so that he might kill him in the morning. But Michal, David’s wife, told him, “If you do not save your life tonight, tomorrow you will be killed.” 12 So Michal let David down through the window, and he fled and escaped. 13 And Michal took the b household idol and laid it on the bed, put a pillow of goats’ hair at its head, and covered it with clothes. 14 And when Saul sent messengers to take David, she said, “He is sick.” 15 Then Saul sent the messengers [again] to see David, saying, “Bring him up to me on his bed [if necessary], so that I may kill him.” 16 When the messengers came in, there was the c household idol on the bed with a quilt of goats’ hair at its head. 17 Saul said to Michal, “Why have you deceived me like this and let my enemy go, so that he has escaped?” Michal answered Saul, “He said to me, ‘Let me go! Why should I kill you?’ ” 18 So David fled and escaped and came to Samuel at Ramah, and told him everything that Saul had done to him. And he and Samuel went and stayed in Naioth.
From The Decameron (1353)
Accordingly, having taken order for this, Pietro arose very early one morning and taking horse with the damsel, set out for Anagni, where he had certain friends in whom he trusted greatly. They had no leisure to make a wedding of it, for that they feared to be followed, but rode on, devising of their love and now and again kissing one another. It chanced that, when they came mayhap eight miles from Rome, the way not being overwell known to Pietro, they took a path to the left, whereas they should have kept to the right; and scarce had they ridden more than two miles farther when they found themselves near a little castle, wherefrom, as soon as they were seen, there issued suddenly a dozen footmen. The girl, espying these, whenas they were already close upon them, cried out, saying, 'Pietro, let us begone, for we are attacked'; then, turning her rouncey's head, as best she knew, towards a great wood hard by, she clapped her spurs fast to his flank and held on to the saddlebow, whereupon the nag, feeling himself goaded, bore her into the wood at a gallop. Pietro, who went gazing more at her face than at the road, not having become so quickly aware as she of the new comers, was overtaken and seized by them, whilst he still looked, without yet perceiving them, to see whence they should come. They made him alight from his hackney and enquired who he was, which he having told, they proceeded to take counsel together and said, 'This fellow is of the friends of our enemies; what else should we do but take from him these clothes and this nag and string him up to one of yonder oaks, to spite the Orsini?' They all fell in with this counsel and bade Pietro put off his clothes, which as he was in act to do, foreboding him by this of the ill fate which awaited him, it chanced that an ambush of good five-and-twenty footmen started suddenly out upon the others, crying, 'Kill! Kill!' The rogues, taken by surprise, let Pietro be and turned to stand upon their defence, but, seeing themselves greatly outnumbered by their assailants, betook themselves to flight, whilst the others pursued them.
From The Decameron (1353)
The girl, seeing that it was late, albeit the old man's words affrighted her, said, 'An it please God, He will keep both you and me from that annoy; and even if it befall me, it were a much less evil to be maltreated of men than to be mangled of the wild beasts in the woods.' So saying, she alighted from the rouncey and entered the poor man's house, where she supped with him on such poor fare as they had and after, all clad as she was, cast herself, together with them, on a little bed of theirs. She gave not over sighing and bewailing her own mishap and that of Pietro all night, knowing not if she might hope other than ill of him; and when it drew near unto morning, she heard a great trampling of folk approaching, whereupon she arose and betaking herself to a great courtyard, that lay behind the little house, saw in a corner a great heap of hay, in which she hid herself, so she might not be so quickly found, if those folk should come thither. Hardly had she made an end of hiding herself when these, who were a great company of ill knaves, came to the door of the little house and causing open to them, entered and found Agnolella's hackney yet all saddled and bridled; whereupon they asked who was there and the good man, not seeing the girl, answered, 'None is here save ourselves; but this rouncey, from whomsoever it may have escaped, came hither yestereve and we brought it into the house, lest the wolves should eat it.' 'Then,' said the captain of the troop, 'since it hath none other master, it is fair prize for us.'
From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)
26 “However, you shall take your holy things which you have [to offer] and your votive (pledged, vowed) offerings, you shall take them and go to the place which the LORD will choose. 27 “And you shall offer your burnt offerings, the meat and the blood, on the altar of the LORD your God; and the blood of your sacrifices shall be poured out on the altar of the LORD your God, and you shall eat the meat. 28 “Be careful to listen to all these words which I am commanding you, so that it may be well with you and with your f children after you forever, because you will be doing what is good and right in the sight of the LORD your God. 29 “When the LORD your God cuts off and destroys before you the nations which you are going in to dispossess, and you dispossess them and settle in their land, 30 beware that you are not lured (ensnared) into following them, after they have been destroyed before you, and that you do not inquire about their gods, saying, ‘How did these nations serve their gods, so that I too may do likewise?’ 31 “You shall not behave this way toward the LORD your God, for they have done for their gods every repulsive thing which the LORD hates; for they even burn their sons and their daughters in the fire [as sacrifices] to their gods. 32 “Everything I command you, you shall be careful to do it; you shall not add to it nor take away from it. Deuteronomy 13 Shun Idolatry 1 “I F A prophet arises among you, or a dreamer of dreams, and gives you a sign or a wonder, 2 and the sign or the wonder which he spoke (foretold) to you comes to pass, and if he says, ‘Let us follow after other gods (whom you have not known) and let us serve and worship them,’ 3 you shall not listen to the words of that prophet or that dreamer of dreams; for the LORD your God is testing you to know whether you love the LORD your God with all your heart and mind and all your soul [your entire being]. 4 “You shall walk after the LORD your God and you shall fear [and worship] Him [with awe-filled reverence and profound respect], and you shall keep His commandments and you shall listen to His voice, and you shall serve Him, and cling to Him. 5 “But that prophet or that dreamer of dreams shall be put to death, because he has counseled rebellion against the LORD your God who brought you from the land of Egypt and redeemed you from the house of slavery, to draw you away from the way in which the LORD your God has commanded you to walk. So you shall remove the evil from among you.
From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)
He said to her, “Conjure up for me, please, and bring up [from the dead] for me [the spirit] whom I shall name to you.” 9 But the woman said to him, “See here, you know what Saul has done, how he has cut off (eliminated) those who are mediums and spiritists from the land. So why are you laying a trap for my life, to cause my death?” 10 Then Saul swore [an oath] to her by the LORD , saying, “As the LORD lives, no punishment shall come upon you for this.” 11 So the woman said, “Whom shall I bring up for you?” He said, “Bring up Samuel for me.” 12 When the woman saw Samuel, she screamed with a loud voice; and she said to Saul, “Why have you deceived me? You are Saul!” 13 The king said to her, “Do not be afraid; but [tell me] what do you see?” The woman said to Saul, “I see a b divine [superhuman] being coming up from the earth.” 14 He said to her, “What is his appearance?” And she said, “An old man is coming up, wrapped in a robe.” Then Saul knew that it was Samuel, and he bowed with his face to the ground and paid respect [to him]. 15 Then Samuel said to Saul, “Why have you disturbed me by bringing me up?” Saul answered, “I am greatly distressed; for the Philistines are making war against me, and God has left me and no longer answers me, either through prophets or by dreams; therefore I have called you to make known to me what I should do.” 16 Samuel said, “Why then do you ask me, since the LORD has left you and has become your enemy? 17 “The LORD has done [to you] just as He said through me [when I was with you]; for the LORD has torn the kingdom out of your hand and given it to your neighbor, to David. [1 Sam 15:22–28 ] 18 “Because you did not obey the voice of the LORD and did not execute His fierce wrath on Amalek, therefore the LORD has done this thing to you this day. 19 “Moreover, the LORD will also put Israel along with you into the hands of the Philistines, and tomorrow you and your sons will be with me [among the dead]. Indeed, the LORD will put the army of Israel into the hands of the Philistines.” 20 Then Saul immediately fell full length on the earth [floor of the medium’s house], and was very afraid because of Samuel’s words; c and he was thoroughly exhausted because he had not eaten all day and all night. 21 The woman came to Saul and saw that he was greatly troubled, and she said to him, “Look, your maidservant has obeyed you, and I have taken my life in my hand and have listened to everything you said to me.
From Unbought and Unbossed: Transgressive Black Women, Sexuality, and Representation (2014)
This speaks to the larger issues governing black women's sexuality, especially when read within the context of the sociopolitical juncture in which Walker's novel was produced: during the black nationalist era when women were encouraged to "make babies for the revolution"; during the feminist movement when women fought the tyranny of patriarchal and gender oppression; and, even more fittingly in this instance, during the sexual revolution, with its expressed interest in sexual liberation. In this scene reverberates my previous discussion of blacks and the sexual revolution, particularly had it bypassed blacks. Walker demonstrates the deleterious effects of an entrenched communal silence, coupled with a racialized Victorian disposition, that contributes to a lack of sexual knowledge and preventive measures that result in unwanted/compulsory pregnancy-the reproductive consequence of sex. This sensibility and the devastating effects are literalized in the novel by the sexual casualities, the overwhelming number of female characters (Meridian, Nelda, Wile Child, Fast Mary, among others) who have sex and, consequently, end up pregnant (with stunted lives, literally, since two of these characters die). This also reflects black women's exigencies of the time, as evidenced in the larger treatment of black female sexuality and black sexual politics in black general-interest periodicals. In 1976, the same year as the publication of Meridian, Essence magazine featured a monthly question-and-answer column entitled "Your Sexual Health." Joanne H.Tyson, the then codirector of the Institute for Marriage Enrichment and Sexual Studies, responded to the personal, often detailed and explicit questions on topics ranging from birth control pills usage and mishaps, sexual arousal, orgasms, oral sex, and sexually transmitted diseases to pregnancy prevention and the existence of home brews to terminate an unwanted pregnancy to avoid a medical abortion. Alongside such discussions, in the July 1976 issue, an excerpt of Alice Walker's Meridian appeared (see Figure 3.1), accompanied by an epigraphic quote: "She had been spasmodic with fear," it read. "Fear because sex was always fraught with ugly consequences for her, and fear because if she did not make out with him she might lose him, and if she did make love with him he might lose interest."23
From Understanding the Old Testament (2019)
l e CtU re 18 | d aniel and aP o Caly Pti C l iteratU re 111 Some of the book is older than that, perhaps going back to the 6th century BCE. Much of the book originated as late as 150 BCE. The book of Daniel is a collection of prophetic oracles and stories, some of them familiar, like Daniel in the lion’s den. The oldest parts of Daniel are chapters 4 and 5. Elements of Apocalyptic Literature The latest chapters of Daniel have to be 8 through 12. These seem directly tied to the persecution of the Jewish people in the 2nd century BCE by the Syrian Greek ruler, Antiochus Epiphanes. daniel in the lions den Understanding the o ld testament 112 The book of Daniel includes alternating sections of narratives and apocalypses. While many apocalypses do envision the end of time—and salvation at the end of time—they are about disclosing a transcendent reality. For example, take Daniel 8:16: I heard a human voice that cried out, “Gabriel explain the vision to this man.” When he came near where I was standing, I fell prostrate in terror. But he said to me, “Understand, O Son of Man, the vision refers to the end time.” This mediation by an angelic being, in this case Gabriel. It is in the book of Daniel that angels are first given names. The content is explicitly about the end of time. Another element of biblical apocalyptic literature is dualism, meaning the presentation of contrary pairs. Examples include this age versus the age to come, the evil many versus the righteous few, and heaven mirroring earth. These are conflicts between people on earth understood as reflecting struggles between supernatural powers. The apocalyptic worldview is if you are persecuted, it might be because you are righteous and other people in power are the sinners. Justice is postponed until God interrupts history. God will eventually reward good with good and evil with evil—but not right now. Another important element of apocalyptic literature is symbolic numbers, animals, and code words. For example, the vision that Daniel 8 refers to is described in the preceding verses, painting a picture of aggressive horned beasts. They symbolized different nations and peoples. Innovations The book of Daniel brings along with it a number of theological innovations. One of these is a major contribution to Judaism’s developing messianism, the elaboration of the notion of a messiah, or promised redeemer. We see this in Daniel chapter 7. One interpretation of this chapter comes from the work of the great Jewish scholar Daniel Boyarin, in his book The Jewish Gospels . There are two figures in this section. The first is the Ancient of Days, which is clearly God.
From Lady Chatterley's Lover (1928)
"I can only say one thing in answer: I must see you personally, here at Wragby, before I can do anything. You promised faithfully to come back to Wragby, and I hold you to the promise. I don't believe anything nor understand anything until I see you personally, here under normal circumstances. I needn't tell you that nobody here suspects anything, so your return would be quite normal. Then if you feel, after we have talked things over, that you still remain in the same mind, no doubt we can come to terms." Connie showed this letter to Mellors. "He wants to begin his revenge on you," said he, handing the letter back. Connie was silent. She was somewhat surprised to find that she was afraid of Clifford. She was afraid to go near him. She was afraid of him as if he were evil and dangerous. "What shall I do?" she said. "Nothing, if you don't want to do anything." She replied, trying to put Clifford off. He answered: "If you don't come back to Wragby now, I shall consider that you are coming back one day, and act accordingly. I shall just go on the same and wait for you here, if I wait for fifty years." She was frightened. This was bullying of an insidious sort. She had no doubt he meant what he said. He would not divorce her, and the child would be his, unless she could find some means of establishing its illegitimacy. After a time of worry and harassment, she decided to go to Wragby. Hilda would go with her. She wrote this to Clifford. He replied: "I shall not welcome your sister, but I shall not deny her the door. I have no doubt she has connived at your desertion of your duties and responsibilities, so do not expect me to show pleasure in seeing her." They went to Wragby. Clifford was away when they arrived. Mrs. Bolton received them. "Oh, your Ladyship, it isn't the happy homecoming we hoped for, is it!" she said. "Isn't it!" said Connie. So this woman knew! How much did the rest of the servants know or suspect? She entered the house which now she hated with every fiber in her body. The great, rambling mass of a place seemed evil to her, just a menace over her. She was no longer its mistress, she was its victim. "I can't stay long here," she whispered to Hilda, terrified. And she suffered going into her own bedroom, re-entering into possession as if nothing had happened. She hated every minute inside the Wragby walls. They did not meet Clifford till they went down to dinner. He was dressed, and with a black tie: rather reserved, and very much the superior gentleman. He behaved perfectly politely during the meal, and kept a polite sort of conversation going: but it seemed all touched with insanity.
From The Well of Loneliness (1928)
And being by habit a quiet, reserved creature, he must quite lose his head and become the reverse. So impatient was he that he rushed off to Morton very early one morning to look for Stephen, tracking her down in the end at the stables, where he found her talking to Williams and Raftery. He said: ‘Never mind about Raftery, Stephen—let’s go into the garden, I’ve got something to tell you.’ And she thought that he must have had bad news from home, because of his voice and his curious pallor. She went with him and they walked on in silence for a while, then Martin stood still, and began to talk quickly; he was saying amazing, incredible things: ‘Stephen, my dear—I do utterly love you.’ He was holding out his arms, while she shrank back bewildered: ‘I love you, I’m deeply in love with you, Stephen—look at me, don’t you understand me, belovèd? I want you to marry me—you do love me, don’t you?’ And then, as though she had suddenly struck him, he flinched: ‘Good God! What’s the matter, Stephen?’ She was staring at him in a kind of dumb horror, staring at his eyes that were clouded by desire, while gradually over her colourless face there was spreading an expression of the deepest repulsion—terror and repulsion he saw on her face, and something else too, a look as of outrage. He could not believe this thing that he saw, this insult to all that he felt to be sacred; for a moment he in his turn, must stare, then he came a step nearer, still unable to believe. But at that she wheeled round and fled from him wildly, fled back to the house that had always protected; without so much as a word she left him, nor did she once pause in her flight to look back. Yet even in this moment of headlong panic, the girl was conscious of something like amazement, amazement at herself, and she gasped as she ran: ‘It’s Martin—Martin—’ And again: ‘It’s Martin!’ He stood perfectly still until the trees hid her. He felt stunned, incapable of understanding. All that he knew was that he must get away, away from Stephen, away from Morton, away from the thoughts that would follow after. In less than two hours he was motoring to London; in less than two weeks he was standing on the deck of the steamer that would carry him back to his forests that lay somewhere beyond the horizon. CHAPTER 12 1 N o one questioned at Morton; they spoke very little. Even Anna forbore to question her daughter, checked by something that she saw in the girl’s pale face. But alone with her husband she gave way to her misgivings, to her deep disappointment: ‘It’s heart-breaking, Philip. What’s happened? They seemed so devoted to each other. Will you ask the child? Surely one of us ought to—’ Sir Philip said quietly: ‘I think Stephen will tell me.’
From The Well of Loneliness (1928)
A long silence, and then: ‘I’ve never yet failed you—and you’re right—I must go to Morton.’ Stephen’s thoughts stopped abruptly. Some one had come in and was stumping down the room in squeaky trench boots. It was Blakeney holding the time-sheet in her hand—funny old monosyllabic Blakeney, with her curly white hair cropped as close as an Uhlan’s, and her face that suggested a sensitive monkey. ‘Service, Gordon; wake the kid! Howard—Thurloe—ready? ’ They got up and hustled into their trench coats, found their gas masks and finally put on their helmets. Then Stephen shook Mary Llewellyn very gently: ‘It’s time.’ Mary opened her clear, grey eyes: ‘Who? What?’ she stammered. ‘It’s time. Get up, Mary.’ The girl staggered to her feet, still stupid with fatigue. Through the cracks in the shutters the dawn showed faintly. 2 The grey of a bitter, starved-looking morning. The town like a mortally wounded creature, torn by shells, gashed open by bombs. Dead streets—streets of death—death in streets and their houses; yet people still able to sleep and still sleeping. ‘Stephen.’ ‘Yes, Mary?’ ‘How far is the Poste?’ ‘I think about thirty kilometres; why?’ ‘Oh, nothing—I only wondered.’ The long stretch of an open country road. On either side of the road wire netting hung with pieces of crudely painted rag—a camouflage this to represent leaves. A road bordered by rag leaves on tall wire hedges. Every few yards or so a deep shell-hole. ‘Are they following, Mary? Is Howard all right?’ The girl glanced back: ‘Yes, it’s all right, she’s coming.’ They drove on in silence for a couple of miles. The morning was terribly cold; Mary shivered. ‘What’s that?’ It was rather a foolish question for she knew what it was, knew only too well ! ‘They’re at it again,’ Stephen muttered. A shell burst in a paddock, uprooting some trees. ‘All right, Mary?’ ‘Yes—look out! We’re coming to a crater!’ They skimmed it by less than an inch and dashed on, Mary suddenly moving nearer to Stephen. ‘Don’t joggle my arm, for the Lord’s sake, child!’ ‘Did I? I’m sorry.’ ‘Yes—don’t do it again,’ and once more they drove forward in silence. Farther down the road they were blocked by a farm cart: ‘Militaires! Militaires! Militaires!’ Stephen shouted. Rather languidly the farmer got down and went to the heads of his thin, stumbling horses. ‘Il faut vivre,’ he explained, as he pointed to the cart, which appeared to be full of potatoes. In a field on the right worked three very old women; they were hoeing with a diligent and fatalistic patience. At any moment a stray shell might burst and then, presto! little left of the very old women. But what will you? There is war—there has been war so long—one must eat, even under the noses of the Germans; the bon Dieu knows this, He alone can protect—so meanwhile one just goes on diligently hoeing.
From The Well of Loneliness (1928)
deep desolation over Martin. She would say: ‘Is there anything strange about me, Father, that I should have felt as I did about Martin?’ And then she would try to explain very calmly what it was she had felt, the intensity of it. She would try to make him understand her suspicion that this feeling of hers was a thing fundamental, much more than merely not being in love; much, much more than not wanting to marry Martin. She would tell him why she found herself so utterly bewildered; tell him how she had loved Martin’s strong, young body, and his honest brown face, and his slow thoughtful eyes, and his careless walk — all these things she had loved. Then suddenly terror and deep re- pugnance because of that unforeseen change in Martin, the change that had turned the friend into the lover — in reality it had been no more than that, the friend had turned lover and had wanted from her what she could not give him, or indeed any man, because of that deep repugnance. Yet there should have been nothing repugnant about Martin, nor was she a child to have felt such terror. She had known certain facts about life for some time and they had not repelled her in other people — not until they had been brought home to herself had these facts both ter- rified and repelled her. She got up. No good in trying to sleep, those eternal questions kept stifling, tormenting. Dressing quickly she stole down the wide, shallow stairs to the garden door, then out into the garden. The garden looked unfamiliar in the sunrise, like a well-known face that is suddenly transfigured. There was something aloof and awesome about it, as though it were lost in ecstatic devotion. She tried to tread softly for she felt apologetic, she and her troubles were there as intruders; their presence disturbed this strange hush of communion, this oneness with something beyond their knowledge, that was yet known and loved by the soul of the garden. A mysterious and wonderful thing this oneness, pregnant with comfort could she know its true meaning — she felt this somewhere deep down in herself, but try as she would her mind could not grasp it; perhaps even the garden was shutting her out of its prayers, because she had sent away Martin. Ther a thrush II2 THE WELL OF LONELINESS
From Unbought and Unbossed: Transgressive Black Women, Sexuality, and Representation (2014)
In the absence of concrete instructions, meaningful discourses on sexuality, and familial/communal protection against sociosexual vulnerability, and unprotected by the script, Meridian strategically mediates her condition in unconventional ways rather than be victimized by male sexual misconduct. Interestingly enough, her mediation, a direct corollary to having been molested, comes via her deliberate engagements in heterosexual relationships: she seeks and engages in ostensibly committed relationships and the sexual intimacy they entail with men-her "boyfriends" and "lovers"-as protection against external male sexual aggression. Her relationship with Eddie, a boyfriend who later becomes her husband, is one such scenario. Not attracted to Eddie and utterly disinterested in sex, she engages in the relationship nonetheless. What she desires is not so much Eddie or sex but, rather, the protection that being "his girl" signifies and provides her, as the narrative voice asserts: Being with [Eddie] did a number of things for her. Mainly, it saved her from the strain of responding to other boys or even noting the whole category of Men. This was worth a great deal, because she was afraid of men-and was always afraid until she was taken under the wing of whoever wandered across her defenses to become-in a remarkably quick time-her lover. This, then, was [...] what sex meant to her; not pleasure, but a sanctuary in which her mind was freed of any consideration for all the other males in the universe who might want anything of her. It was resting from pursuit. (61-62) Meridian's engagement in committed relationships with men as protection against unwanted external male sexual aggression further underscores the inefficacy and contradictions of strictly gendered expectations for female sexual behavior. Moreover, it reveals the pitfalls and ramifications of absent familial/communal discourses on sexuality and, of equal import, interventions that might protect black women like Meridian from certain sex/gender systems. For, within "sexually aggressive" contexts, young black women who endure such sociosexual conditions have "sexual experiences [...] not characterized by learning the meaning or enjoyment of sex, or even making choices about engaging in it, but in protecting themselves from what is viewed [...] as the irrepressible sexual drives of the men in their lives."17 This is precisely the case with Meridian, who "while not enjoying [sex] at all, [...] had had [it] as often as her lover [Eddie] wanted it, sometimes every single night" (60-61).
From Emotional Beats: How to Easily Convert your Writing into Palpable Feelings (2018)
OtherA thousand ants seemed to crawl over her skin.A cold shaft of fear assailed her, so powerful that she sank down in her chair.Air stalled in his lungs.Fear trickled like ice water through his veins.He felt as if the walls had shifted closer.Ice coated his skin.The horror that whiplashed through her wasn’t faked.Unease rolled through him like a chilled, dark wave.Warning bells went off, but he nodded.Her skin felt prickly.It made his skin crawl.Behind us, shadowy figures shifted in the dim setting.She tried to snatch hold of his words and make sense of what he meant.She stewed in the salty broth of disappointment.Rough edges of panic pricked her soul.His voice came low, cold.Promises and panic mingled with her salty tears.A threat spilled from her lips.Angry black/red butterflies crowded her sight.Her words fell shaky and clipped.Smoky black rage flung her across the loft.Fear stretched her voice high and tight.She brushed the creases from her jacket. Physical symptomsThese are some of the things that may happen when a person is scared or nervous: They may feel hot or cold, may shiver or sweat.The breathing changes. Usually it becomes faster and shallower, though for some people it may deepen and slow down.The palms may become damp, the mouth dry, the stomach tight, the throat clogged.The voice may change: A rushed voice. An off-pitch laugh. A voice that breaks, drops or raises in pitch; a change in speech patterns.Micro hesitations may show fear: delayed speech, throat clearing, slow reaction time.A forced smile, laugh or verbally agreeing/disagreeing in a way that does not seem genuine is common. This is usually because of so-called cancelling gestures: smiling but stepping back; saying no but reaching out, etc. Other things that may indicate false smiles include a lack of eye contact or purposefully ignoring someone or something.A closed body posture is also a tell: body shielding, arms crossing chest, using the hair to hide the face, etc.Nervous people may increase their personal space, e.g. by withdrawing from a group, sitting alone etc.Some may try to place furniture (e.g. a chair) between them and whatever scares them.A person’s hands may fiddle with items, clothing and jewelry, or smooth out items. A person may also perform self-soothing touches to comfort.People may hide their hands in some way (e.g. put them in their pockets).
From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)
17 “So I said I will bring you up out of the suffering and oppression of Egypt to the land of the Canaanite, the Hittite, the Amorite, the Perizzite, the Hivite, and the Jebusite, to a land e flowing with milk and honey.” ’ 18 “The elders [of the tribes] will listen and pay attention to what you say; and you, with the elders of Israel, shall go to the king of Egypt and you shall say to him, ‘The LORD , the God of the Hebrews, has met with us; so now, please, [we ask and plead with you,] let us go on a three days’ journey into the wilderness, so that we may sacrifice to the LORD our God.’ 19 “But I know that the king of Egypt will not let you go unless [he is forced] by a strong hand. 20 “So I will reach out My hand and strike Egypt with all My wonders which I shall do in the midst of it; and after that he will let you go. 21 “And I will grant this people favor and respect in the sight of the Egyptians; therefore, it shall be that when you go, you will not go empty-handed. 22 “But every woman shall [insistently] ask her neighbor and any woman who f lives in her house, for articles of silver and articles of gold, and clothing; and you shall put them on your sons and daughters. In this way you are to plunder the Egyptians [leaving bondage with great possessions that are rightfully yours].” [Gen 15:14 ] Exodus 4 Moses Given Powers 1 T HEN MOSES answered [the LORD ] and said, “What if they will not believe me or take seriously what I say? For they may say, ‘The LORD has not appeared to you.’ ” 2 And the LORD said to him, “What is that in your hand?” And he said, “A staff.” 3 Then He said, “Throw it on the ground.” So Moses threw it on the ground, and it became a [living] serpent [like the royal symbol on the crown of Pharaoh]; and Moses ran from it. 4 But the LORD said to Moses, “Reach out your hand and grasp it by the tail.” So he reached out his hand and caught it, and it became a staff in his hand— 5 [“You shall do this,” said the LORD ,] “so that the elders may believe that the LORD , the God of their fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has [most certainly] appeared to you.” 6 The LORD also said to him, “Put your hand into your robe [where it covers your chest].” So he put his hand into his robe, and when he took it out, his hand was a leprous, as white as snow.
From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)
3 “Here I am; testify against me before the LORD and [Saul] His anointed [if I have done someone wrong]. Whose ox have I taken, or whose donkey have I taken, or whom have I exploited? Whom have I oppressed or from whose hand have I taken a bribe to blind my eyes [to the truth]? [Tell me and] I will restore it to you.” 4 They said, “You have not exploited us or oppressed us or taken anything at all from a man’s hand.” 5 Samuel said to them, “The LORD is a witness against you, and [Saul] His anointed is a witness this day that you have not found anything in my hand.” And they answered, “He is a witness.” 6 Then Samuel said to the people, “It is the LORD who appointed Moses and Aaron and brought your fathers (ancestors) up from the land of Egypt. 7 “Now then, take your stand, so that I may plead and contend with you before the LORD concerning all the righteous acts of the LORD which He did for you and for your fathers. 8 “When Jacob [and his sons] had come into Egypt [and later when the Egyptians oppressed them] and your a fathers cried out to the LORD , then the LORD sent Moses and Aaron who brought your fathers out of Egypt and settled them in this place. 9 “But when they forgot the LORD their God, He sold them into the hand of b Sisera, commander of Hazor’s army, and into the hand of the Philistines and of the king of Moab, and they fought against them. 10 “They cried out to the LORD , saying, ‘We have sinned because we have abandoned (rejected) the Lord and have served the Baals and the Ashtaroth; but now rescue us from the hands of our enemies, and we will serve You.’ 11 “Then the LORD sent Jerubbaal (Gideon) and c Bedan and Jephthah and Samuel, and He rescued you from the hand of your enemies on every side, and you lived in security. The King Confirmed 12 “But when you saw that Nahash king of the Ammonites had come against you, you said to me, ‘No, but a king shall reign over us’—although the LORD your God was your King. 13 “Now therefore, here is [Saul] the king whom you have chosen, and for whom you asked; behold, the LORD has set a king over you. 14 “If you will fear the LORD [with awe and profound reverence] and serve Him and listen to His voice and not rebel against His commandment, then both you and your king will follow the LORD your God [and it will be well]. 15 “But if you do not listen to the LORD ’s voice, but rebel against His d command, then the hand of the LORD will be against you [to punish you], as it was against your fathers.
From Lady Chatterley's Lover (1928)
The world was so complicated and weird and gruesome! The common people were so many, and really, so terrible. So she thought as she was going home, and saw the colliers trailing from the pits, grey-black, distorted, one shoulder higher than the other, slurring their heavy ironshod boots. Underground grey faces, whites of eyes rolling, necks cringing from the pit roof, shoulders out of shape. Men! Men! Alas, in some ways patient and good men. In other ways, non-existent. Something that men _should_ have was bred and killed out of them. Yet they were men. They begot children. One might bear a child to them. Terrible, terrible thought! They were good and kindly. But they were only half, only the grey half of a human being. As yet, they were "good." But even that was the goodness of their halfness. Supposing the dead in them ever rose up! But no, it was too terrible to think of. Connie was absolutely afraid of the industrial masses. They seemed so _weird_ to her. A life with utterly no beauty in it, no intuition, always "in the pit." Children from such men! Oh God, oh God! Yet Mellors had come from such a father. Not quite. Forty years had made a difference, an appalling difference in manhood. The iron and the coal had eaten deep into the bodies and souls of the men. Incarnate ugliness, and yet alive! What would become of them all? Perhaps with the passing of the coal they would disappear again, off the face of the earth. They had appeared out of nowhere in their thousands, when the coal had called for them. Perhaps they were only weird fauna of the coalseams. Creatures of another reality, they were elementals, serving the elements of coal, as the metal workers were elementals, serving the element of iron. Men not men, but animas of coal and iron and clay. Fauna of the elements, carbon, iron, silicon: elementals. They had perhaps some of the weird inhuman beauty of minerals, the lustre of coal, the weight and blueness and resistance of iron, the transparency of glass. Elemental creatures, weird and distorted, of the mineral world! They belonged to the coal, the iron, the clay, as fish belong to the sea and worms to dead wood. The anima of mineral disintegration! Connie was glad to be home, to bury her head in the sand. She was glad even to babble to Clifford. For her fear of the mining and iron Midlands affected her with a queer feeling that went all over her, like influenza. "Of course I had to have tea in Miss Bentley's shop," she said. "Really! Winter would have given you tea." "Oh yes, but I daren't disappoint Miss Bentley." Miss Bentley was a sallow old maid with a rather large nose and romantic disposition, who served tea with a careful intensity worthy of a sacrament. "Did she ask after me?" said Clifford.
From The Decameron (1353)
When he was let down again, the judge asked him once more if that were true which the folk avouched against him, and Martellino, seeing that it availed him not to deny, answered, 'My lord, I am ready to confess the truth to you; but first make each who accuseth me say when and where I cut his purse, and I will tell you what I did and what not.' Quoth the judge, 'I will well,' and calling some of his accusers, put the question to them; whereupon one said that he had cut his purse eight, another six and a third four days agone, whilst some said that very day. Martellino, hearing this, said, 'My lord, these all lie in their throats and I can give you this proof that I tell you the truth, inasmuch as would God it were as sure that I had never come hither as it is that I was never in this place till a few hours agone; and as soon as I arrived, I went, of my ill fortune, to see yonder holy body in the church, where I was carded as you may see; and that this I say is true, the Prince's officer who keepeth the register of strangers can certify you, he and his book, as also can my host. If, therefore, you find it as I tell you, I beseech you torture me not neither put me to death at the instance of these wicked, men.' Whilst things were at this pass, Marchese and Stecchi, hearing that the judge of the Provostry was proceeding rigorously against Martellino and had already given him the strappado, were sore affeared and said in themselves, 'We have gone the wrong way to work; we have brought him forth of the frying-pan and cast him into the fire.' Wherefore they went with all diligence in quest of their host and having found him, related to him how the case stood. He laughed and carried them to one Sandro Agolanti, who abode in Treviso and had great interest with the Prince, and telling him everything in order, joined with them in beseeching him to occupy himself with Martellino's affairs. Sandro, after many a laugh, repaired to the Prince and prevailed upon him to send for Martellino.
From Understanding the Old Testament (2019)
Understanding the o ld testament 144 The most important story here is the myth of the god Baal. The Canaanites’ religion had a pantheon of gods on the model of a family. There is the high god, El, along with his wife and children: Yamm, Anat, and Baal. El has decided to retire and leave the governance of the world to a younger deity. At the beginning of our story, he decides to make the god Yamm king, whose name means “the sea.” Yamm is also a dragon, meaning he won’t be a very good king of the universe. The other gods tremble in fear, except for the storm god Baal. Baal is also the god of fertility. Baal battles Yamm, and though Baal’s initial attack is futile, Baal eventually wins. Later in the text, Baal is praised for his victory in a passage that gives Yamm yet another name: Leviathan. Baal is now made king and is eventually given a palace on Mount Zaphon, which sits on the Syrian-Turkish border. He has a feast for all the gods, but he foolishly invites death, or Mot, to his feast. Mot dines on Baal and swallows him. This situation is only rectified when Baal’s sister, the goddess Anat, cuts him out of Mot. For the Canaanites of the time, this myth was not about killing reptiles, but rather about where one finds hope against chaos and calamity. Baal stands for order and security. And because the human king of Ugarit was the chief priest of Baal, the king stands for order and stability in the face of life’s chaos. This myth is far, far older than the Canaanites. They seem to have borrowed much of it from peoples who came before them in the ancient Near East. In fact, the myth goes back to the 5th millennium BCE. However, in all of its iterations, the major elements are the same. The Myth and the Book of Isaiah The Old Testament uses this myth over and over again to construct metaphors that say something about God. Many examples are found in the book of Isaiah.
From Delta of Venus (1977)
He felt himself burning, tense. Finally he fell on her, and as he began to penetrate her, water flowed from between her legs, as if he were making love to a naiad. His movements caused her body to undulate. He continued to thrust himself into her, expecting at any moment to feel her response, but her body merely moved in rhythm with his. Now he was afraid the man and the police would arrive. He tried to hurry and satisfy himself, but he couldn’t. He had never taken so long. The coolness and wetness of the womb, her passivity, his enjoyment so prolonged—yet he could not come. He moved desperately, to rid himself of his torment, to inject his warm liquid into her cold body. Oh, how he wanted to come at this moment, while kissing her breasts, and he frantically urged his sex within her, but still he could not come. He would be found there by the man and the policeman, lying over the body of the dead woman. Finally he lifted her body from the waist, bringing her up against his penis and pushing violently into her. Now he heard shouts all around, and at that moment he felt himself exploding inside of her. He withdrew, dropped the body, and ran away. This woman haunted him for days. He could not take a shower without remembering the feel of the wet skin and seeing how she shone in the dawn. Never again would he see so beautiful a body. He could not hear rain without remembering how the water came out between her legs and out of her mouth, and how soft and smooth she was. He felt he had to escape from the city. After a few days, he found himself in a fishing village, and stumbled on a row of cheaply built artists’ studios. He rented one. He could hear everything through the walls. In the middle of the row of studios, next to Pierre’s, was a community water closet. When he lay trying to sleep, he suddenly caught a faint streak of light between the wall boards. He applied his eye to a crack and saw, standing before the water closet, with one hand resting on the wall, a boy of about fifteen. He had taken down his pants halfway and opened his shirt, bowing his curled head over his labor. In his right hand, he was thoughtfully fingering his young sex. Now and then he pressed it hard and a convulsion shook his body. In the dim light, with his curly hair and young pale body, he looked quite like an angel, except for the fact that he was holding his sex in his right hand.