Fear
Fear is the body reading a threat as near — the breath shortens, the skin tightens, the attention collapses onto the single thing that might do harm. It arrives faster than thought and is rarely wrong about the fact of danger, only sometimes about its size. Vela reads fear as a primary emotion, distinct from the anxiety it shades into, and follows the writers who have written from inside it rather than about it from a safe distance.
Working definition · Threat-focused arousal—danger, loss, or harm feels proximate or plausible.
10570 passages · 1 Vela essay · in 1 cluster
Vela’s read on this emotion
Fear is one of the few emotions the body insists on before the mind has a vote, and that priority is the first thing the reading respects. Fear is not cowardice and not weakness; it is the oldest of the alarm systems, and the writers worth following have treated it as testimony rather than as something to be talked out of.
The reading is densest where fear has been lived under, not merely felt. Anne Frank's diary keeps fear as a daily condition — the specific dread of the footstep on the stair — held alongside the ordinary business of being fifteen. Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning reads fear inside the camps without flattening it into a lesson. The literature of illness and the body — the memoir written from inside a diagnosis — holds the particular fear of one's own body becoming the threat. The contemplative inheritance treats fear as a serious subject across centuries: the fear of the Lord in the Hebrew scriptures is closer to awe than to terror, and the distinction is one the reading keeps.
Fear is not the same as anxiety, dread, or terror. Fear has an object the body can point to; anxiety is fear without a fixed address, braced against what might come. Dread is fear stretched forward in time, waiting. Terror is fear past the point where action remains possible. The four are kin and the reading keeps them apart, because the difference is the difference between what the body can do and what it can only endure.
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An essay on how this word lives in language, in the tagged corpus, and in figurative art when curators pair passage with image — not a list of stages, not permission to feel.
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10570 tagged passages
From The Golden Ass (Metamorphoses) (2)
me, with lifting + my head if I would: not anything, but bowing it if I would; and if I did lack drink, I should look still upon the minister of drink, winking first with one eye and then with the other. All which things I did willingly bring to pass, and obeyed his doctrine; howbeit I could have done all these things without his teaching, but I feared greatly lest in shewing myself cunning to do all like a man, without a.master, I. should portend some great and. strange wonder, and. as a prodigy thereby be slain and thrown out to wild vultures. But my fame was spread about in every place, and the qualities which I could do, in so much that my master was renowned throughout all: the country by reason of me. For every man would: say: “Behold the gentleman that hath an ass that will eat and drink with him, an. ass that will box, an ass that will dance, an. ass that understandeth what is said to him and will shew. his fantasy by signs." But first I will tell you (which I should have done before) who my master was, and. of what country. His name was Thiasus; he was born at Corinth, which. is the principal town of all the province of Achaea; he had. passed all offices of honour in. due course according as his birth and dignity required, and he should now take upon him the degree Quin- quennial?: and now to shew his worthiness to enter upon that office, and to purchase the benevolence of every person, he appointed and promised publie joys and. triumphs of gladiators, to endure the space of three days. To bring his endeavour for the publie i The single toss of the head backwards, which is still the regular gesture of refusal in Italy. 2 The quinquennial magistracy, or chief office of provincial towns. 505 19 LUCIUS APULEIUS studio tune Thessaliam etiam accesserat, nobilis- simas feras et famosos inde gladiatores comparaturus, iamque ex arbitrio dispositis coemptisque omnibus domuitionem parabat. Spretis luculentis illis suis vehi- culis ac posthabitis decoris raedarum carpentis, quae partim contecta, partim revelata, frustra novissimis trahebantur consequiis, equis etiam Thessalicis et aliis iumentis Gallicanis quibus generosa suboles perhibet pretiosam dignitatem, me phaleris aureis et fucatis ephippiis et purpureis tapetis et frenis argenteis et pictilibus balteis et tintinnabulis perargutis exor- natum ipse residens amantissime nonnunquam comis- simis affatur sermonibus, atque inter alia pleraque summe se delectari profitebatur quod haberet in me simul et convivam et vectorem. At ubi partimterrestri, partim maritimo itinere confecto Corinthum accessi- mus, magnae civium turbae confluebant, ut mihi vide- batur, non tantum Thiasi dantes honori quam mei con- spectus cupientes: nam tanta etiam ibidem de me fama pervaserat, ut non mediocri quaestui praeposito ilii meo fuerim. Qui cum multos videret nimio favore lusus meos spectare gestientes, obserata fore atque singulis eorum seorsus admissis, stipes ac- ceptans non parvas summulas diurnas corradere consuerat.
From The Golden Ass (Metamorphoses) (2)
us was committed, that drove me, poor ass, and the other horses in a herd to the water to drink, and the time was then come ; then had I good occasion ministered to my revenge, for as I passed by I per- ceived the fingers of the young man in the narrow space under the side of the bin, and lifting up my heels I spurned the flesh thereof with the force of my hoofs, and crushed them small, where by the great pain thereof he was compelled to cry out, and to throw down the bin on the ground, and so the whoredom of the baker’s wife was known and revealed. ‘The baker, seeing this, was little moved at the dishonesty of his wife, but he took the young man, pale and trembling for fear, by the hand, and with cold and courteous words spake in this sort: “ Fear not any trouble from me, my son, nor think that I am so barbarous or cruel or rustical a person that I would stifle thee with the smoke of sulphur, as our neigh- bour the fuller accustometh, nor will I punish thee accord to the rigour of the Julian law, which com- mandeth that adulterers should be put to death. No, no, I will not execute any cruelty against so fair and comely a young man as you be, but we will divide our pleasure: between us; I will not sue thee for a division of our inheri- tance, but we will be equal partners by the sharing all three of one bed. For never hath there been any debate mor dissension between me and my wife, but both of us may be contented, for I have always lived with her in such tranquillity that according to the saying of the wise men, the one hath said, that the other holdeth for law; but indeed equity will not suffer but that the husband should bear more authority than the wife.” With these and like smooth and jesting words he 443 LUCIUS APULEIUS
From The Golden Ass (Metamorphoses) (2)
they were familiarly whispering together, a lad came running into the parlour, all trembling and fearful in his countenance, and declared to the master of the house that a mad dog had run in from the next lane and had rushed furiously into the back gate; which had done much harm, for he had bitten many grey- hounds and thence had entered the stable and had with like savagery attacked most of the beasts; nor finally had he spared men, for there was one Myrtilus a muleteer, Hephaestion a cook, Hypatarius a cham- berlain, and Apollonius a physician, nay many more, who (thinking to chase away the mad dog) were cruelly bitten by him ; and, indeed, many horses and other beasts had been infected with the venom of his poisonous teeth and become mad likewise. This thing caused them all at the table greatly to fear, and thinking that I had been made mad by being bitten and was mad in like sort, they snatched up all manner of weapons and came out exhorting one another so to keep off the common destruction of all, themselves rather a prey to the same disease of madness. Verily, with their spears, clubs, and pitch- forks, which their servants easily found for them, they had torn me limb from limb, had I not by and by observed the storm of sudden danger and crept into a chamber, where my masters intended to lodge that night. Then they closed and locked fast the doors about me, and kept the chamber round, till such time as they thought that they would not have to meet me in battle and the pestilent rage of madness should have killed me. Now when I was thus shut in the chamber, I had at last gained my liberty, and taking the gift that fortune had sent me, to be alone, I laid me down upon the bed to sleep, considering it was 403 LUCIUS APULEIUS lectum abiectus post multum equidem temporis som- num humanum quievi.
From The Golden Ass (Metamorphoses) (2)
« « This woman had a certain lover whom, by the utterance of one only word, she turned into a beaver because he loved another woman beside her, and the reason why she transformed him into such a beast, is that it is his nature, when he perceives the hunters and hounds to draw after him, to bite off his members and lay them in the way, that the pursuers may be at a stop when they find them, and to the intent that soit might happen unto him (because he fancied another woman) she turned him into that kind of shape. Likewise she changed one of her neighbours, being an old man and one that sold wine, in that he was a rival of her occupation, into a frog, and now the poor wretch swimming in one of his own pipes of wine, and being well nigh drowned in the dregs, doth ery and call with croakings continually for his old guests and acquaintance that pass by. Likewise she turned one of the advocates of the Court (because he pleaded and spake against her) into a horned ram, and now the poor ram doth act advocate. Moreover she caused the wife of a certain lover that she had, because she spake sharply and wittily against her, should never be delivered of her child, but should remain, her womb closed up, everlastingly pregnant, and according to the computation of all B 17 LUCIUS APULEIUS damnavit et, ut cuncti numerant, iam octo annorum onere misella illa velut elephantum paritura dis- 10 tenditur. Quae cum subinde ac multis noceret, publicitus indignatio percrebruit, statutumque ut in eam die altera severissime saxorum iaculationibus vindicaretur: quod consilium virtutibus cantionum antevortit et, ut illa Medea unius dieculae a Creone impetratis induciis totam eius domum filiamque cum ipso sene flammis coronalibus deusserat, sic haec devotionibus sepulchralibus in scrobem procuratis, ut mihi temulenta narravit proxime, cunctos in suis sibi domibus tacita numinum violentia clausit, ut toto biduo non claustra perfringi, non fores evelli, non denique parietes ipsi quiverint perforari, quoad mutua hortatione consone clamitarent, quam sanc- tissime deierantes sese neque ei manus admolituros, et si quis aliud cogitarit, salutare laturos subsidium : et sic illa propitiata totam civitatem absoluit, At vero coetus iliius auctorem nocte intempesta cum tota domo, id est parietibus et ipso solo et omni fundamento, ut erat, clausa ad centesimum lapidem in aliam civitatem summo vertice montis exasperati sitam, et ob id ad aquas sterilem, transtulit. Et quoniam densa inhabitantium aedificia locum novo hospiti non dabant, ante portam proiectà domo 18 i THE GOLDEN ASS, BOOK I
From How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain (2017)
Opioids increase during placebo and turn down nociception, and likewise decrease during nocebo effects, earning them the moniker of “your internal medicine cabinet.” 18 I watched my daughter experience the nocebo effect when she was a baby and had thirteen ear infections in nine months. The first time we visited the pediatrician’s office for treatment, she wailed in discomfort as he peered into her ears (though he is a caring and careful physician). The second time, she cried in the waiting room. The third time, she began sobbing in the building lobby, and the fourth time, as we entered the parking garage. After that, she would whimper anytime we passed the street where the doctor’s office was located. This is the predicting brain in action; little Sophia was likely simulating ear pain. It took many months, after Sophia was past the infections and well into toddlerhood, for her to stop asking, “Go to dottor? Kekk Sophie’s ears?” whenever we were in the vicinity. Pain, like emotion and stress, appears to be a whole-brain construction. It involves our familiar pair of networks, the interoceptive and control networks. And the similarities don’t stop here. The pathways sending nociceptive predictions down to the body, and those bringing nociceptive input up to the brain, are closely related to interoception. (It’s even possible that nociception is a form of interoception.) Overall, the body sensations that are categorized as pain, stress, and emotions are fundamentally the same, even at the level of neurons in the brain and spinal cord. * Distinguishing between pain, stress, and emotion is a form of emotional granularity. 19 It’s easy to show that interoception and nociception are in bed with each other. If I made you feel unpleasant affect in my lab while applying painful heat to your arm, you’d report feeling more pain. This happens because your body-budgeting regions issue predictions that can dial pain up and down like a volume control. Those predictions can influence your brain’s simulation of pain, and they also reach down to your body and can amplify or dampen its status reports to your brain. Your body-budgeting regions can therefore trick your brain into believing that there is tissue damage, regardless of what is happening in your body. So, when you’re feeling unpleasant, your joints and muscles might hurt more, or you could develop a stomachache. When your body budget’s not in shape, meaning your interoceptive predictions are miscalibrated, your back might hurt more, or your headache might pound harder— not because you have tissue damage but because your nerves are talking back and forth. This is not imaginary pain. It is real. 20 When people experience ongoing pain without any damage to their body tissue, it’s called chronic pain.
From How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain (2017)
Perhaps your goal is to feel accepted, to feel pleasure, to achieve an ambition, or to find meaning in life. Your concept of “Happiness” in the moment is centered on such a goal, binding together the diverse instances from your past. Let’s unpack an example. Suppose that you are in an airport waiting for your close friend to arrive for a visit, her first one in a long time. As you stare at the exit gates and await her imminent arrival, your brain is busily issuing thousands of predictions based on your concepts, in milliseconds, all outside of your awareness. After all, there are a host of different emotions you might experience in such a situation. You could experience the happiness of seeing your friend, the anticipation that she’s about to appear, the fear that she won’t arrive, or worry that you might no longer have anything in common. You could also have a non-emotional experience, like the exhaustion of your long drive to the airport, or the perception of tightness in your chest as a symptom that you’re coming down with a cold. Using this storm of predictions, your brain makes meaning of sensations based on your past experiences with airports and friends and illnesses and related situations. Your brain weighs its predictions based on probabilities; they compete to explain what caused your sensations, and they determine what you perceive, how you act, and what you feel in this situation. Ultimately, the most probable predictions become your perception: say, you are happy and your friend is walking through the gates right now. Not every instance of “Happiness” from your past matches the present situation, because “Happiness” is a goal-based concept composed of wildly diverse instances, but some of them had bits and pieces that matched well enough to win the competition. Do these predictions match the actual sensory input from the world and your body? Or is there prediction error that must be resolved? That’s a matter for your prediction loops to work out and, if necessary, to correct. Let’s suppose your friend arrived safely, and later over coffee, she describes her turbulent plane flight that scared her out of her wits. She constructs an instance of “Fear” with the goal of communicating what it feels like to be strapped into the airplane seat, eyes closed, hot and queasy as the plane bumped up and down, her mind racing about her safety. When she says the word “frightened,” you also construct an instance of “Fear,” but it needn’t have exactly the same physical features as hers; you probably won’t squeeze your eyes shut, for example. Yet you can still perceive her fear and feel empathy for her. As long as your instances concern the same goal (detecting danger) in the same situation (a turbulent airplane ride), you and your friend are communicating clearly enough.
From My Year of Rest and Relaxation (2018)
towel under me to slow my fall, and then more wildly because that hadn’t worked, tumbling like Alice down the rabbit hole or like Elsa Schneider disappearing down into the infinite abyss in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. The gray mist obscured my vision. Had I crossed the seal? Was the world crumbling? Calm, calm, I told myself. I could feel gravity sucking me deeper, time accelerating, the darkness around me, widening until I was somewhere else, somewhere with no horizon, an area of space that awed me in its foreverness, and I felt calm for just a moment. Then I recognized that I was floating without a tether. I tried to scream but I couldn’t. I was afraid. The fear felt like desire: suddenly I wanted to go back and be in all the places I’d ever been, every street I’d walked down, every room I’d sat down in. I wanted to see it all again. I tried to remember my life, flipping through Polaroids in my mind. “It was so pretty there. It was interesting!” But I knew that even if I could go back, if such a thing were possible with exactitude, in life or in dreams, there was really no point. And then I felt desperately lonely. So I stuck my arm out and I grasped onto someone—maybe it was Ping Xi, maybe it was a wakefulness outside myself—and that other hand steadied me somehow as I fell past whole galaxies, mercurial waves of light strobing through my body, blinding me over and over, my brain throbbing from the pressure, my eyes leaking as though each teardrop shed a vision of my past. I felt the wetness trickle down my neck. I was crying. I knew that. I could hear myself gasp and whimper. I focused on the sound and then the universe narrowed into a fine line, and that felt better because there was a clearer trajectory, so I traveled more peacefully through outer space, listening to the rhythm of my respiration, each breath an echo of the breath before, softer and softer, until I was far enough away that there was no sound, there was no movement. There was no need for reassurance or directionality because I was nowhere, doing nothing. I was nothing. I was gone. • • • ON JUNE 1, 2001, I came to in a cross-legged seated position on the living room floor. Sunlight was needling through the blinds, illuminating crisscrossed planes of yellow dust that blurred and waned as I squinted. I heard a bird chirp. I was alive. • • •
From The Golden Ass (Metamorphoses) (2)
* Now I also ate part of the same with him: and while I beheld him eating greedily, I perceived that he wore thin and meagre and pale as boxwood, and that his lively colour faded away, as did mine also, remembering those terrible furies of whom I lately dreamed, in so much that the first morsel of bread that I put in my mouth (which was but very small) did so stick in my jaws that I could neither swallow it down nor yet yield it up; and moreover the number of them that passed by increased my fear, for who is he, that would believe that one of two companiohs die in the high way without injury done by the other? But when that Socrates had eaten sufficiently he wore very thirsty, for indeed he had well nigh devoured a whole good cheese, and behold there was behind the roots of the plane-tree a pleasant running water which went gently like to a quiet pond, as clear as silver or crystal, and I said unto him: ‘Come hither, Socrates, to this water and drink thy fill as it were milk. And then he rose, and waiting a little he found a flat space by the river and kneeled down by the side of the bank in e 33 LUCIUS APULEIUS poculum : necdum satis extremis labiis summum aquae rorem attigerat, et iugulo eius vulnus dehiscit in profundum patorem, et illa spongia de eo repente devolvitur eamque parvus admodum comitatur cruor: denique corpus exanimatum in flumen paene cernuat, nisi ego altero eius pede retento vix et aegre ad ripam superiorem attraxi, ubi defletum pro tempore comitem misellum arenosa humo in ammis vicinia sempiterna contexi. Ipse trepidus et eximie metuens mihi per diversas et avias solitudines aufugi et quasi conscius mihi caedis humanae relicta patria et Lare ultroneum exilium amplexus nune Aetoliam novo contracto matrimonio colo." 20 Haec Aristomenes. At ille comes eius, qui statim initio obstinata incredulitate sermonem eius respuebat, * Nihil" inquit * Hae fabula fabulosius, nihil isto mendacio absurdius," et ad me conversus * Tu autem " inquit “Vir, ut habitus et habitudo demonstrat, ornatus, accredis! huie fabulae?" “Ego vero" inquam * Nihil impossibile arbitror, sed uteumque fata decreverint, ita cuncta mortalibus provenire: nam et mihi et tibi et cunctis hominibus multa usu venire mira et paene infecta, quae tamen ignaro relata fidem perdant. Sed ego huie et credo Hercule et gratas gratias memini, quod lepidae fabulae festivi- tate nos avocavit ; asperam denique ac prolixam viam sine labore ac taedio evasi. Quod beneficium etiam illum vectorem meum credo laetari: sine fatigatione 1 So Petschenig for the MSS’ accedis. 34 THE GOLDEN ASS, BOOK I
From The Golden Ass (Metamorphoses) (2)
whom she employeth all her sorcery and enchant- ment ; and I heard her threaten with mine own ears yesternight, that because the sun had not then . presently gone down and the night come to minister convenient time to work her magical enticement, she would veil the same sun with a thick shadow of cloud and bring perpetual darkness over all the world. And you shall know that when she saw yesternight this Boeotian sitting at the barber's, when she came from the baths, she secretly commanded me to gather some of the hair of his head which lay dis- persed upon the ground, and to bring it home; which when I thought to have done, gathering it up secretly with care, the barber espied me, and by reason it was bruited throughout all the city that we were witches and enchantresses, he seized upon me and cried out, and chid me, saying: ‘ Will you never leave off stealing of handsome young men's hairs? In faith I assure you, unless you cease your wicked sorceries, I will complain to the justices.’ Wherewithal he came angrily towards me and took away the hair which I bad gathered out of mine apron, which grieved me very much. For I knew my mistress's manners, that she would not be con- tented, but beat me cruelly. Wherefore I intended to run away, but the remembrance of you put always that thought out of my mind, and so I came homeward very sorrowful ; but because I would not seem to come in my mistress’s sight with empty hands, I saw a man shearing of blown goat-skins. Now these were well tied up and blown out, and were hanging up, and the hair he had shorn off was yellow, and much resembled 125 LUCIUS APULEIUS illi Boeotio iuveni consimiles, plusculos aufero eosque dominae meae dissimulata veritate trado. * Sic noctis initio, priusquam cena te reciperes, Pamphile mea iam vecors animi tectam scandulare : conscendit, quod altrinsecus aedium patore perflabili nudatum ad omnes, orientales ceterosque, aspectus pervium, maxime his artibus suis commodatum, Secreto colit, priusque apparatu solito — instruit feralem officinam, omne genus aromatis, et ignora- biliter. laminis litteratis et infelicium avium duran- tibus damnis, defletorum sepultorum etiam cadaverum expositis multis admodum membris: hie nares et digiti, illic carnosi clavi pendentium, alibi trucidat- orum servatus eruor et extorta dentibus ferarum
From The Golden Ass (Metamorphoses) (2)
When we had passed over a great mountain full of trees and were come again into the open fields, behold we approached nigh to a fair and rich castle, where it was told unto us that we were not able to pass in our journey that night, nay, nor in the early morning either, by reason of the great number of terrible wolves which were in the country about, besieging all the roads; so great in their body and fierce and cruel, that they put every. man in fear, in 2A 369 LUCIUS APULEIUS assuetos infestare cunctam illam regionem, iamque ipsas vias obsidere et in modum latronum praeter- euntes aggredi, immo etiam vesana fame rabidos finitimas expugnare villas exitiumque inertissimorum pecudum ipsis iam humanis capitibus imminere. Denique ob iter illud, qua nobis erat commeandum, iacere semesa hominum corpora suisque visceribus nudatis ossibus cuncta candere ac per hoc nos quo- que summa cautione viae reddi debere idque vel in primis observitare, ut luce elara et die iam pro- vecto et sole florido, vitantes undique latentes in- sidias, cum et ipso lumine dirarum bestiarum repi- gratur impetus, non laciniatim disperso sed cuneatim stipato commeatu difficultates illas transabiremus. 16 Sed nequissimi fugitivi ductores illi nostri caecae festinationis temeritate ac metu incertae insecutionis, spreta salubri monitione nec expectata luce proxuma, circa tertiam ferme vigiliam noctis onustos nos ad viam propellunt. Tune ego metu praedicti periculi quantum pote turbae medius et inter conferta iu- menta latenter absconditus clunibus meis ab ag- gressionibus ferinis consulebam, iamque me cursu celeri ceteros equos antecellentem mirabantur omnes ; sed illa pernicitas non erat alacritatis meae sed for- midinis indicium. Denique mecum ipse reputabam, Pegasum inclutum illum metu. magis volaticum fuisse ac per hoc merito pinnatum proditum, dum in altum. et adusque caelum sussilit ac resultat, 370 . age THE GOLDEN ASS, BOOK VIII
From The Golden Ass (Metamorphoses) (2)
31 . Hic ego me potissimum capitis periclitatum me- mini Nam quidam colonus partem venationis, im- manis cervi pinguissimum femus, domino illi suo muneri miserat, quod incuriose pone culinae fores non altiuscule suspensum canis adaeque venaticus latenter invaserat, laetusque praeda propere custo- dientes oculos evaserat. Quo damno cognito suaque reprehensa neglegentia cocus diu lamentatus lacrimis ineflicacibus, iam iamque domino cenam flagitante maerens et utcunque metuens altius, filio suo par- vulo consalutato arreptoque funiculo, mortem sibi nexu laquei comparabat. Nec tamen latuit fidam uxorem eius casus extremus mariti, sed funestum no- dum violenter invadens manibus ambabus ** Adeone ” inquit * Praesenti malo perterritus mente excidisti tua, nee fortuitum istud remedium, quod deum pro- videntia subministrat, intueris? Nam si quid in ultimo fortunae turbine resipiscis, expergite mi aus- culta et advenam istum asinum remoto quodam loco deductum iugula, femusque eius ad similitudinem 396 THE GOLDEN ASS, BOOK VIII driving me before them with their naked swords till they came to a noble city. There the principal patron, who was in every way a man very religious, and especially bearing high reverence unto the goddess, came in great devotion to meet us when he heard our tinkling cymbals and tapping drums and the soft strain of the Phrygian music, and re- ceived her and all our company as a pious host into his great house, and he hastened with mach sacrifice and veneration to appease her godhead. But there, I remember, I thought myself in most danger of all my life; forthere was one that brought venison to the master of the house, a side of a fat buck, for a present; which being hanged carelessly behind the kitchen door, not far from the ground, was clean eaten up by a hunting greyhound that came in, who, joyful to have gotten his prey, escaped the eyes of them that watched. The cook, when he saw the venison devoured, reproving his own negli- gence, lamented and wept to no purpose, and because supper-time approached nigh, when his master should now call for the meat, he sorrowed and feared greatly ; and bidding farewell to his little child, he took a halter to hang himself; but his good. wife, percciving whereabout he went, ran incontinently to him, and taking the deadly halter in both her hands stopped him of his purpose, saying: * O husband, are you out of your wits with this present trouble? What intend you to do? See you not a chance remedy before your eyes ministered unto you by divine providence? I pray you, husband, if you have any sense left in this storm of fortune, listen attentively to my counsel : carry this strange ass out into some secret place and kill him ; which done, cut off one of his sides, and sauce it well like the side of the buck, 397 LUCIUS APULEIUS
From The Annotated Lolita (1991)
Was she just joking? An ominous hysterical note rang through her silly words. Presently, making a sizzling sound with her lips, she started complaining of pains, said she could not sit, said I had torn something inside her. The sweat rolled down my neck, and we almost ran over some little animal or other that was crossing the road with tail erect, and again my vile-tempered companion called me an ugly name. When we stopped at the filling station, she scrambled out without a word and was a long time away. Slowly, lovingly, an elderly friend with a broken nose wiped my windshield—they do it differently at every place, from chamois cloth to soapy brush, this fellow used a pink sponge. She appeared at last. “Look,” she said in that neutral voice that hurt me so, “give me some dimes and nickels. I want to call mother in that hospital. What’s the number?” “Get in,” I said. “You can’t call that number.” “Why?” “Get in and slam the door.” She got in and slammed the door. The old garage man beamed at her. I swung onto the highway. “Why can’t I call my mother if I want to?” “Because,” I answered, “your mother is dead.” 33In the gay town of Lepingville I bought her four books of comics, a box of candy, a box of sanitary pads, two cokes, a manicure set, a travel clock with a luminous dial, a ring with a real topaz, a tennis racket, roller skates with white high shoes, field glasses, a portable radio set, chewing gum, a transparent raincoat, sunglasses, some more garments—swooners, shorts, all kinds of summer frocks. At the hotel we had separate rooms, but in the middle of the night she came sobbing into mine, and we made it up very gently. You see, she had absolutely nowhere else to go. Part Two1It was then that began our extensive travels all over the States. To any other type of tourist accommodation I soon grew to prefer the Functional Motel—clean, neat, safe nooks, ideal places for sleep, argument, reconciliation, insatiable illicit love. At first, in my dread of arousing suspicion, I would eagerly pay for both sections of one double unit, each containing a double bed. I wondered what type of foursome this arrangement was ever intended for, since only a pharisaic parody of privacy could be attained by means of the incomplete partition dividing the cabin or room into two communicating love nests. By and by, the very possibilities that such honest promiscuity suggested (two young couples merrily swapping mates or a child shamming sleep to earwitness primal sonorities) made me bolder, and every now and then I would take a bed-and-cot or twinbed cabin, a prison cell of paradise, with yellow window shades pulled down to create a morning illusion of Venice and sunshine when actually it was Pennsylvania and rain.
From The Golden Ass (Metamorphoses) (2)
mustelae etiam mortuum serpentem forinsecus mor- dicus attrahentes, et de ore pastoricii canis virens exsiluit ranula, ipsumque canem qui proximus consis- tebat aries appetitum unico morsu strangulavit. Haec tot ac talia ingenti pavore domini illius et familiae totius ad extremum stuporem deiecerant animos, quid prius quidve posterius, quid magis quid minus, numinum caelestium leniendis minis quot et qualibus 35 procuraretur hostiis. Adhuc omnibus expectatione taeterrimae formidinis torpidis | accurrit quidam servulus magnas et postremas domino illi fundorum clades annuntians. Namque is adultis iam tribus liberis doctrina instructis et verecundia praeditis vivebat gloriosus. His adulescentibus erat cum quodam paupere modicae casulae domino vetus familiaritas: at enim casulae parvulae conterminos magnos et beatos agros possidebat vicinus potens et dives et iuvenis, sed prosapiae maiorum gloria male utens pollensque factionibus et cuncta: facile faciens in civitate: hie hostili modo vicini tenuis incursabat pauperiem pecua trucidando, boves abigendo, fruges adhuc immaturas obterendo. Iamque tota frugalitate spoliatum ipsis etiam glebulis exterminare gestiebat finiumque inani commota quaestione terram totam sibi vindicabat. "Tunc agrestis, verecundus alioquin, avaritia divitis iam spoliatus, ut suo saltem sepulchro paternum retineret solum, amicos plurimos ad de- 454 THE GOLDEN ASS, BOOK IX the house weasels were seen that drew with their teeth a dead serpent; and out of the mouth of a shepherd’s dog leaped a green frog, and immediately after a ram that stood hard by leaped upon the same dog and strangled him with one bite. All these things that happened horribly astonished the good man of the house and the residue that were present, in so much they could not tell how they stood o what to do, which first and which last, which more and which less, or with what or how many sacrifices to appease the anger of the gods.
From The Golden Ass (Metamorphoses) (2)
compulsat ac morsicat. Quae res nobis non medio- cres lites atque iurgia, immo forsitan et crimina pariet. Nunc etiam visa quadam honesta iuvene, ligno quod devehebat abiecto dispersoque, in eam furiosos direxit impetus, et festivus hic amasio humo sordida prostratam mulierem ibidem incoram omnium gestiebat inseendere. Quod nisi ploratu questuque femineo conclamatum viatorum praesidium accurris- set ac de mediis ungulis ipsius esset erepta libera- taque, misera illa compavita atque dirupta ipsa quidém cruciabilem cladem sustinuisset, nobis vero poenale reliquisset exitium." 22 Talibus mendaciis admiscendo sermones alios, qui meum verecundum silentium vehementius premerent, animos pastorum in meam perniciem atrociter susci- tavit. Denique unus ex illis: * Quin igitur publicum istam maritum," inquit “Immo communem omnium adulterum illis suis monstruosis nuptiis condignam victimamus hostiam ? " et ** Heus tu, puer," ait “ Ob- truncato protinus eo intestina. quidem canibus nostris iacta, cetéram vero carnem omnem operariorum cenae reserva. Nam corium affirmatum cineris inspersu do- minis referemus eiusque mortem de lupo facile men- üemur." Sublata cunctatione aceusator ille meus noxius, ipse etiam pastoralis exsecutor sententiae, laetus et meis insultans malis calcisque illius admoni- tus, quam inefficacem fuisse mehercules doleo, pro- . 23 tinus gladium cotis attritu parabat. Sed quidam de coetu illo rusticorum “ Nefas"' ait “Tam bellum asinum sic enecare et propter luxuriem lasciviamque, amatoria protinus ! opera, servitioque tam necessario carere, cum alioquin exsectis genitalibus possit neque 1 There is a gap in the best MS between amatoria and opera , into which a later hand has written eriminatus. Protinus, suggested both by Leo and Plasberg, makes good sense, 332 THE GOLDEN ASS, BOOK VII faces cruelly, which thing may work us great dis- pleasure, or rather be imputed unto us as a crime ; and even now, when he espied an honest maiden passing by the highway, he by and by threw down his wood in a heap and ran after her; and when this jolly lover had thrown her upon the ground, he would have ravished her before the face of all the world, had it not been that by reason of her crying out with shrieks and loud lamentations, she was succoured of those that passed by, and pulled from his heels and sodelivered. And if it had so come to pass that this fearful maiden had been slain by him by a painful death, what danger had we not been in?”
From The Golden Ass (Metamorphoses) (2)
nuptiis destinatam, et iam torus genialis scilicet noster futurus accuratissime disternebatur, lectus Indica testudine pellucidus, plumea congerie tumidus, veste serica floridus. At ego praeter pudorem obeundi publice concubitus, praeter contagium scelestae pol- lutaeque feminae, metu etiam mortis maxime cnc bar, sic ipse mecum reputans, quod in amplexu venerio scilicet nobis cohaerentibus quaecumque ad exitium mulieris bestia fuisset immissa, non adeo vel prudentia sollers vel artificio docta vel abstinentia frugi posset provenire, ut adiacentem lateri meo laceraret muli- erem, mihi vero quasi indemnato et innoxio parceret. 35 Ergo igitur non de pudore iam sed de salute ipsa sollicitus, dum magister meus lectulo probe coaptando districtus inseruit et tota familia partim ministerio venationis occupata, partim voluptario spectaculo attonita meis cogitationibus liberum tribuebatur arbitrium, nec magnopere quisquam custodiendum tam mansuetum putabat asinum, paulatim furtivum pedem proferens portam, quae proxuma est, potitus, iam cursu me celerrimo proripio, sexque totis passuum milibus perniciter confectis Cenchreas pervado, quod oppidum audit quidem nobilissimae coloniae Corinthiensium, alluitur autem Aegaeo et Saronico mari: inibi portus etiam tutissimum navium receptaculum magno frequentatur populo, Vitatis ergo turbulis et electo secreto litore prope ipsas fluctuum aspergines in quodam mollissimo harenae gremio lassum corpus porrectus refoveo: nam et ultimam diei metam curriculum solis de- flexerat, et vespernae me quieti traditum dulcis somnus oppresserat. 536 THE GOLDEN ASS, BOOK X
From How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain (2017)
When people exercise to the point of labored breathing, for example, they feel tired and crappy well before they run out of energy. When people solve math problems and perform difficult feats of memory, they can feel hopeless and miserable, even when they are performing well. Any graduate student of mine who never feels distress is clearly doing something wrong. 47 Affective realism can also lead to tragic consequences. In July 2007, an American gunner aboard an Apache helicopter in Iraq mistakenly killed a group of eleven unarmed people, including several Reuters photojournalists. The soldier had misjudged a journalist’s camera to be a gun. One explanation for this incident is that affective realism caused the soldier, in the heat of the moment, to imbue a neutral object (a camera) with unpleasant valence. Every day, soldiers must make quick decisions about other people, whether they are embedded in a unit during wartime, on a peacekeeping mission, negotiating in a cross-cultural setting, or collaborating with unit members on a stateside base. These quick judgments are extremely difficult to negotiate, especially in such high-stakes, high-arousal settings where errors are often made at the expense of someone’s life. 48 A little closer to home, affective realism may also play a role in police shootings of unarmed civilians. The U.S. Department of Justice analyzed shootings by Philadelphia police officers between 2007 and 2013 and found that 15 percent of the victims were unarmed. In half of these cases, an officer reportedly misidentified “a nonthreatening object (e.g., a cell phone) or movement (e.g., tugging at the waistband)” as a weapon. Many factors may contribute to these tragedies, ranging from carelessness to racial bias, but it is also possible that some of the shooters actually perceive a weapon when none is present due to affective realism in a high-pressure and dangerous context. * The human brain is wired for this sort of delusion, in part because moment-to- moment interoception infuses us with affect, which we then use as evidence about the world. 49 People like to say that seeing is believing, but affective realism demonstrates that believing is seeing. The world often takes a backseat to your predictions. (It’s still in the car, so to speak, but is mostly a passenger.) And as you’re about to learn right now, this arrangement is not limited to vision. ... Suppose you’re walking alone in the forest, and you hear a rustle in the leaves and see a vague movement on the ground. As always, your body-budgeting regions initiate predictions—say, that there’s a snake nearby. These predictions prepare you to see and hear a snake.
From How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain (2017)
(Can you imagine doing that to a human child?) Of course their body budget will get out of whack and they’ll feel high-arousal, unpleasant affect. We’ve bred them to be affectively dependent on us. So owners must take care with their dogs’ body budget. Dogs might not feel fear, anger, and other human emotions, but they do experience pleasure, distress, attachment, and other affective feelings. But for dogs to be successful as a species, living cooperatively with their human companions, affect may be enough. 39 ... Let’s recap where we are. Do animals regulate their body budgets by interoception? I cannot speak for the entire animal kingdom here but for mammals— rats, monkeys, apes, dogs—I think we are on pretty safe ground answering yes. Do animals experience affect? Again, I think we can give a pretty confident yes, based on some biological and behavioral clues. Can animals learn concepts and can they categorize predictively with those concepts? Definitely. Can they learn action-based concepts? Unquestionably yes. Can they learn the meaning of words? Under some circumstances, some animals can learn words or other symbol systems, in the sense that the symbols become part of the statistical patterns that a brain can capture and store for later use. But can animals use words to go beyond the statistical regularities in the world, to create goal-based similarities that unite actions or objects that look, sound, or feel different? Can they use words as invitations to form mental concepts? Do they realize that part of the information they need about the world resides in the minds of other creatures around them? Can they categorize actions and make them meaningful as mental events? Probably not. At least not in the way that we humans do. Apes can construct categorizations that are more similar to our own than we might have imagined. But right now, there is no clear evidence that any non-human animals on the planet have the sorts of emotion concepts that humans do. We alone have all the ingredients necessary to create and transmit social reality, including emotion concepts. This holds true even for Man’s Best Friend. So, let’s return to Rowdy: was he angry when he growled and jumped up on the boy? Based on our discussion so far, Rowdy lacks emotion concepts, so you might guess that my answer is no. Well, not exactly. (Get ready for that twist I mentioned at the beginning of the chapter.) From the perspective of the theory of constructed emotion, the question “Is a growling dog angry?” is the wrong question to ask in the first place, or at least incomplete. It assumes that a dog is measurably angry or not angry in some objective sense.
From The Golden Ass (Metamorphoses) (2)
* You shall understand that on a day this Barbarus, preparing himself to ride abroad, and willing to keep the chastity of his wife (whom he so well loved) alene to himself, called his man Myrmex (whose faith he had tried and proved in many things) and secretly committed to him the custody of his wife, threatening him, that if any man did but touch her with his finger as he passed by, he would not only put him in prison, and bind him hand and foot, but also cause him to be put to death cruelly and shame- fully ; which words he confirmed by oath of all the gods in heaven, and so he departed careless away, leaving Myrmex to follow his wife with all diligence. When Barbarus was gone Myrmex, being greatly astonished and afraid at his master's threatenings, was exceeding constant and fixed in his purpose, and would not suffer his mistress to go abroad, but as she sat all day a-spinning, he was so careful that he sat by her; and when night came he went with her to the baths, holding her by the garment, so faithful he was to fulfil the command- ment of his master Howbeit, the beauty of this noble matron could not be hidden from the burning eyes of Philesitherus, who considering her great chastity, and how she was diligently kept by 427 LUCIUS APULEIUS insignis tutelae nimietate instinctus atque inflam- matus, quidvis facere, quidvis pati paratus, ad expug- nandam tenacem domus disciplinam totis accingitur viribus ; certusque fragilitatis humanae fidei et quod pecuniae cunctae sint difficultates perviae auroque soleant adamantinae etiam perfringi fores, opportune nanctus Myrmecis solitatem, ei amorem suum aperit et supplex eum medelam cruciatui deprecatur ; nam sibi statutam decretamque mortem proximare ni maturius cupito potiatur: nec eum tamen quiequam in re facili formidare debere, quippe cum vespera solus, fide tenebrarum contectus atque absconditus, introrepere et intra momentum temporis remeare posset. His et huiuscemodi suadelis validum adde- bat cuneum, qui rigentem prorsus servi tenaci- tatem violenter diffinderet > porrecta enim manu sua demonstrat ei novitate nimia candentes solidos aureos, quorum viginti quidem puellae destinasset, ipsi vero 19 decem libenterofferret. Exhorruit Myrmex inauditum facinus et occlusis auribus effugit protinus: nec auri tamen splendor flammeus: oculos ipsius exire potuit, sed quam procul semotus et domum celeri gradu pervectus videbat tamen decora illa monetae lumina et opulentam praedam iam tenebat animo, miroque mentis salo et cogitationum dissensione misellus in diversas sententias carpebatur ac distrahebatur: illic fides, hic lucrum ; illic cruciatus, hic voluptas, Ad postremum tamen formidinem mortis vicit aurum ; 428 THE GOLDEN ASS, BOOK IX
From The Golden Ass (Metamorphoses) (2)
was already alight (fearing lest some danger might happen unto them by reason of their privity in so wicked a deed) they left her and were carried by the wind Zephyrus to the top of the mountain, and so they ran away, and took shipping. * When Psyche was left alone (saving that she seemed not to be alone, being stirred by so many furies) she was in a tossing mind, like the waves of the sea, and although her will was obstinate and fixed to put in execution the counsel of her sisters, yet when she was now ready to do the deed, she was in doubtful and divers opinions touching her calamity. Sometimes she would, sometimes she would not, sometimes she is bold, sometimes she feareth, some- times she mistrusteth, sometimes she is moved, and at last in one person she hateth the beast and loveth her husband ; but at length the evening came, when she made preparation for her wicked intent. Then was it night, and soon after her husband came, and when he had kissed and embraced her he fell asleep : then Psyche (somewhat feeble in body and mind, yet strengthened by cruelty of fate) received boldness and brought forth the lamp, and took the razor, so that by her audacity she changed herself to masculine kind. But when she took the lamp and the secret parts of the bed were made light, she saw the most meek and sweetest beast of all beasts, even fair Cupid, couched fairly, at whose sight the very lamp increased its light for joy, and the razor turned its edge. But when Psyche saw so glorious a body, she greatly feared, and amazed in mind, with a pale countenance, all trembling, fell on her knees, and thought to hide the razor, yea verily in her own heart; which she had undoubtedly done, had it not, through fear of so wicked an enterprise, fallen out of 231 23 LUCIUS APULEIUS
From The Golden Ass (Metamorphoses) (2)
cities, and determined to follow her husband, ana to be a partaker of all his perils and dangers: where- fore she cut off her hair, disguised herself like a man, and sewed into her girdle much jewellery and treasure, passing through the bands of the soldiers that guarded him and the naked swords without any fear; whereby she shared all his dangers and en- dured many miseries with the spirit of a man, not of a woman, and was partaker of much affliction to save the life of her husband. And when they had escaped many perilous dangers as well by land as by sea, they went towards Zacynthus to continue there for a time according as fortune had appointed. But when they arrived on the sea-coast of Actium (where we in our return from Macedonia were roving about) when deep night was come they turned into a house, not far distant from the shore and their ship, where they lay all night to escape the tossing of the waves. Then we entered in and took away all their sub- stance, but verily we were in great danger, for the good matron, perceiving us incontinently by the noise of the gate, went into the chamber, and aroused all by her cries, calling up soldiers and servants, every man by his name, and likewise the neighbours that dwelt round about; and it was but by reason of the fear that every one was in, each one hiding himself,that we hardly escaped away. But this most holy woman, faithful and true to her husband (as the truth must be declared) and a favourite of all for her great worth, returned to Caesar desiring his aid and puissance, and obtained for her husband his soon return and vengeance for the injury done to him. Then willed Caesar that the company of Haemus should not any longer be, and straightway it went to wrack 180 great was the authority and word of the Prince. : 309 LUCIUS APULEIUS magni principis. Tota denique factione militarium vexillationum indagatu confecta atque concisa, ipse me furatus aegre solus mediis Orci faucibus ad hune 8 evasi modum: sumpta veste muliebri florida in sinus flaccidos abundante, mitellaque textili contecto capite, calceis femininis albis illis et tenuibus indutus et in sequiorem sexum incertus atque absconditus, asello spicas hordeacias gerenti residens per medias acies infesti militis transabivi ; nam mulierem putantes asinariam concedebant liberos abitus, quippe cum mihi etiam tunc depiles genae levi pueritia splendicarent. Nec ab illa tamen paterna gloria vel mea virtute descivi, quamquam semitrepidus iuxta mucrones Martios constitutus, sed habitus alieni fallacia tectus, villas seu castella solus aggrediens, viaticulum mihi corrasi,” et diloricatis statim pan- nulis in medium duo milia profudit aureorum, et “En” inquit * Istam sportulam, immo vero dotem collegio vestro libens meque vobis ducem fidissimum, si tamen non recusatis, offero, brevi temporis spatio lapideam istam domum vestram facturus auream."