Fear

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From The Decameron (1353)

  The lady’s maid, seeing who it was, immediately went to warn her mistress, who was in her bedroom with Leonetto, and having called her forth, she said: ‘Messer Lambertuccio is downstairs, ma’am, and he’s all alone.’ The lady was aggrieved beyond measure to hear of Lambertuccio’s arrival, but as she was so afraid of him, she asked Leonetto if he would mind concealing himself for a while behind the curtains of the bed until such time as he should take his leave of her. Leonetto, being no less terrified of the man than she was herself, hid behind the bed, and she told her maid to go and let Messer Lambertuccio in. This she did, and having ridden into the courtyard, he dismounted, tethered his palfrey to a ring, and came up the stairs. The lady came to meet him, smiling, at the head of the stairs, and having bidden him a cheerful welcome she asked him the nature of his business. He embraced and kissed her, and said: ‘My dearest, I heard that your husband was away, so I’ve come to keep you company for a while.’ And without further preliminaries, they went into the bedroom, and Messer Lambertuccio, having locked the door, proceeded to bend her to his pleasure. But whilst he was thus tarrying with the lady, to her utter amazement her husband happened to return. No sooner did the maid espy him approaching the villa, than she ran at once to her mistress’s bedroom and said: ‘It’s the master, he’s coming back, ma’am. He’ll be down there in the yard by now, I should think.’ Finding herself with two men in the house, and knowing it was impossible to conceal the second because his horse was standing in the yard, the lady thought her hour had come. However, with extraordinary presence of mind she leapt out of bed and said to Messer Lambertuccio: ‘Sir, if you love me in the slightest degree, and wish to save my life, do as I shall tell you. Take out your dagger, wave it about in your hand, and charge down the stairs like a madman, breathing fire and slaughter, and shouting: “I vow to God I’ll catch up with him yet!” If my husband should try to stop you or ask you any questions, keep repeating these same words. And when you reach your horse, leap into the saddle and ride away without stopping for an instant.’ Messer Lambertuccio willingly agreed to do it, and having drawn his dagger, his face all flushed from his recent exertions, as well as from his anger at the husband’s return, he carried out the lady’s instructions to the letter. The husband, having already dismounted, was puzzling over the palfrey in the courtyard, and was just about to mount the stairs, when he saw Lambertuccio descending.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  Being anxious to discover what it was, she got up and groped her way naked in the dark towards that part of the house from which the noise had come. Meanwhile Adriano also happened to get up, not for the same reason, but in order to obey the call of nature, and as he was groping his way towards the door with this purpose in view, he came in contact with the cradle deposited there by the woman. Being unable to pass without moving it out of his way, he picked it up and set it down beside his own bed; and after doing what he had to do, he returned to his bed and forgot all about it. Having discovered the cause of the noise and assured herself that nothing important had fallen, the woman swore at the cat, and, without bothering to light a lamp and explore the matter further, returned to the bedroom. Picking her way carefully through the darkness, she went straight to the bed where her husband was lying; but on finding no trace of the cradle, she said to herself: ‘How stupid I am! What a fine thing to do! Heavens above, I was just about to step into the bed where my guests are sleeping.’ So she walked a little further up the room, found the cradle, and got into bed beside Adriano, thinking him to be her husband. On perceiving this, Adriano, who was still awake, gave her a most cordial reception; and without a murmur he tacked hard to windward over and over again, much to her delight and satisfaction. This, then, was how matters stood when Pinuccio, who had gratified his longings to the full and was afraid of falling asleep in the young lady’s arms, abandoned her so as to go back and sleep in his own bed. But on reaching the bed to find the cradle lying there, he moved on, thinking he had mistaken his host’s bed for his own, and ended up by getting into bed with the host, who was awakened by his coming. And being under the impression that the man who lay beside him was Adriano, Pinuccio said: ‘I swear to you that there was never anything so delicious as Niccolosa. By the body of God, no man ever had so much pleasure with any woman as I have been having with her. Since the time I left you, I assure you I’ve been to the bower of bliss half a dozen times at the very least.’ The host was not exactly pleased to hear Pinuccio’s tidings, and having first of all asked himself what the devil the fellow was doing in his bed, he allowed his anger to get the better of his prudence, and exclaimed: ‘What villainy is this, Pinuccio?

• From Apprenticed to Venus: My Secret Life with Anaïs Nin (2017)

  For a week, she thrilled to this excitement of danger and beauty. Then she began to get paranoid from lack of sleep, thinking the Russian chess player’s narrow eyes were tracking her. On New Year’s Day, after sharing fireworks in bed with Rupert at midnight, toasting mimosas in the morning with Hugo, and rushing back to Rupert at noon, she noticed that the winter weather had suddenly turned clear, as if Mother Earth herself were celebrating the first day of 1965. Rupert suggested a walk in Washington Square Park. It seemed half of the Village had gotten the same idea. The park was full of people promenading around the fountain in both directions: mothers with baby carriages, old ladies leaning into each other, students with signs protesting American troops going to Vietnam. She and Rupert were halfway around the circle when she saw Hugo on his crutches, walking toward them with Millie’s help. Anaïs quickly shielded her face with her hands and hissed at Rupert, “The sun is burning my skin.” She tugged on him to turn around. “Let’s go look at the arch so I can show you the inscription by George Washington.” When they got to the marble arch, Rupert read the inscription aloud in his hammy actor’s voice: “‘Let us raise a standard to which the wise and the honest can repair.’” Anaïs glanced back. Hugo and Millie were heading in the direction of the arch! She tried to pull Rupert through to the other side of the arch with her, but he resisted, jerking his arm back. “What are you doing? I’m not finished.” Letting go and positioning herself out of sight behind the arch, she beckoned. “Come on, I’ll treat you to lunch at the hotel.” Stubborn as always, Rupert remained on the other side of the arch, determined to finish reading the inscription. She heard him intone, “‘The event is in the hands of God.’” Then she heard Hugo’s voice! “Did I ever tell you, Millie, about the night that Duchamp climbed inside a door in this arch, and he and six others from the Art Students League spent the evening sitting at the top, setting off cap pistols and releasing balloons?” “That’s a good story,” she heard Rupert say to Hugo. Hugo, encouraged, answered Rupert, “That’s not all. They read a proclamation: ‘Whereas, whereas, whereas …’” Hugo was hamming it, too. “‘We hereby declare the Independence of the Republic of Greenwich Village!’” Rupert chuckled and asked Hugo, “Do you know where Duchamp’s door is?” “On the other side.” Hugo pointed his crutch toward the side where Anaïs was hiding. Rupert walked through the arch. Anaïs shook her head and mouthed, Not here. Had she known where the damned door was, she would have climbed inside it. Then Millie was following Rupert through the arch, Hugo shuffling right behind her! Anaïs stopped breathing.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  And although they had a hard job, when the time came, in persuading Nastagio’s beloved to go, she nevertheless went there along with the others. Nastagio saw to it that a magnificent banquet was prepared, and had the tables placed beneath the pine-trees in such a way as to surround the place where he had witnessed the massacre of the cruel lady. Moreover, in seating the ladies and gentlemen at table, he so arranged matters that the girl he loved sat directly facing the spot where the scene would be enacted. The last course had already been served, when they all began to hear the agonized yells of the fugitive girl. Everyone was greatly astonished and wanted to know what it was, but nobody was able to say. So they all stood up to see if they could find out what was going on, and caught sight of the wailing girl, together with the knight and the dogs. And shortly thereafter they came into the very midst of the company. Everyone began shouting and bawling at the dogs and the knight, and several people rushed forward to the girl’s assistance; but the knight, by repeating to them the story he had related to Nastagio, not only caused them to retreat but filled them all with terror and amazement. And when he dealt with the girl in the same way as before, all the ladies present (many of whom, being related either to the suffering girl or to the knight, still remembered his great love and the manner of his death) wept as plaintively as though what they had witnessed had been done to themselves. When the spectacle was at an end, and the knight and the lady had gone, they all began to talk about what they had seen. But none was stricken with so much terror as the cruel maiden loved by Nastagio, for she had heard and seen everything distinctly and realized that these matters had more to do with herself than with any of the other guests, in view of the harshness she had always displayed towards Nastagio; consequently, she already had the sensation of fleeing before her enraged suitor, with the mastiffs tearing away at her haunches. So great was the fear engendered within her by this episode, that in order to avoid a similar fate she converted her enmity into love; and, seizing the earliest opportunity (which came to her that very evening), she privily sent a trusted maidservant to Nastagio, requesting him to be good enough to call upon her, as she was ready to do anything he desired. Nastagio was overjoyed, and told her so in his reply, but added that if she had no objection he preferred to combine his pleasure with the preservation of her good name, by making her his lawful wedded wife. Knowing that she alone was to blame for the fact that she and Nastagio were not already married, the girl readily sent him her consent.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  Tingoccio called out to him, and Meuccio woke up with a start, saying: ‘Who are you?’ ‘I am Tingoccio,’ he replied, ‘and I have returned, as I promised, to bring you tidings of the other world.’ Having recovered from the shock of seeing him, Meuccio said: ‘My brother, you are welcome.’ He then asked him whether, as he put it, he was ‘lost’, and Tingoccio replied: ‘Lost? If a thing is lost, it can’t be found; so what on earth would I be doing here, if I was lost?’ ‘That’s not what I mean,’ said Meuccio. ‘What I want to know is whether you’re among the souls of the damned, in the scourging fires of Hell.’ ‘Not exactly,’ replied Tingoccio. ‘But I’m being severely punished just the same, because of the sins I committed, and it’s all very painful.’ Then Meuccio questioned him in detail about the punishments that were meted out there for each of the sins committed on earth, and Tingoccio described them one by one. And when Meuccio went on to ask him whether there was anything he could do for him, Tingoccio replied in the affirmative, saying that he should arrange for prayers and masses to be recited on his behalf, and for alms to be given, since these things were highly beneficial to the souls of the dead. All of this Meuccio readily agreed to do. Just as Tingoccio was leaving, Meuccio remembered about Monna Mita, and raising his head a little, he said: ‘By the way, Tingoccio: what punishment have they given you for making love to the mother of your godchild?’ Whereupon Tingoccio replied: ‘My brother, as soon as I arrived down there, I was met by one who seemed to know all of my sins by heart, and who ordered me to proceed to the place where I am being severely punished for my misdeeds. There I found a large company of souls condemned to the same punishment as myself, and as I stood in their midst, I suddenly remembered how I had carried on with my godchild’s mother. And since I was expecting to have to pay a much heavier penalty for this than the one I had been given, I began, even though I was being roasted in a fierce and enormous fire, to tremble all over with fear. On noticing this, one of my fellow sinners said: “Why do you tremble so when standing in the fire? Have you done something worse than the rest of us?” “Oh, my friend,” said I, “it fills me with terror when I think of the judgement that awaits me for a dreadful sin I have committed.” He then asked me which sin I was referring to, and I said: “I made love to the mother of my godchild, and went to it so heartily that I shed my pelt in the process.” He had a good laugh over this, and said: “Be off with you, you fool!

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  The duration of the immobility response in animals is normally time-limited; they go in and they come out. The human immobility response does not easily resolve itself because the supercharged energy locked in the nervous system is imprisoned by the emotions of fear and terror. The result is that a vicious cycle of fear and immobility takes over, preventing the response from completing naturally. When not allowed to complete, these responses form the symptoms of trauma. Just as terror and rage figured in the onset of the freezing response, they will now contribute greatly to its maintenanc e- even though there is no longer any actual threat present. When a pigeon is quietly approached from behind (perhaps as it pecks on some grains) and is picked up gently, the bird freezes. If it is turned upside down, it will remain frozen in that position with its feet in the air for several minutes. When it comes out of this trance-like state, it will right itself and hop or fly away as though nothing had happened. However, if the pigeon is first frightened by an approaching person, it will struggle to escape. If it is caught after a frantic pursuit and held down forcibly, it will also succumb to immobilit y- but the terrified bird will remain frozen much longer than in the first scenario. When it comes out of its trance, it will be in a state of frantic excitability. It may thrash about wildly, pecking at almost any possible target, or fly away in a frenzy of uncoordinated movement. Fear greatly enhances and extends (i.e., potentiates) immobility. It also makes the mobilization process a fearful event. “As They Go In, So They Come Out” If we are highly activated and terrified upon entering the immobility state, we will move out of it in a similar manner. “As they go in, so they come out” is an expression that Army M.A.S.H. medics use when speaking of injured soldiers. If a soldier goes into surgery feeling terror and panic, he may abruptly come out of anaesthesia in a state of frantic disorientation. Biologically, he is reacting like the animal fighting for its life after it has been frightened and captured. The impulse to attack in frantic rage, or to attempt a frantic escape is biologically appropriate. When captured prey come out of immobility, their survival may depend on violent aggression if the predator is still present.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  Internal resources. Internally, a person’s experienced sense of self is affected by a complex array of resources. These resources include psychological attitudes and experience, but even more important are the instinctual responses known as innate action plans that are deeply embedded in the organism. All animals, including humans, use these instinctive solutions to improve their chances of survival. They are like the preset programs that govern all of our basic biological responses (e.g., eating, resting, reproducing, and defending). In a healthy person, the nervous system brings these innate defense action plans to the fore whenever a threat is perceived. For example: your arm suddenly raises to protect you from a (consciously) unnoticed ball thrown in your direction; or, when you duck a fraction of a second before you walk into a low-hanging branch. Innate action plans also involve the fight and flight reactions. In a more complex example, I was told the following story by a woman: she is walking home in the dark when she sees two men coming toward her on the opposite side of the street. Something about their demeanor doesn’t feel right, and the woman becomes immediately alert. As they come closer, the two men split up, one angles toward her across the street, the other circles around behind her. What was suspicion before is now confirme d— she is in danger. Her heart rate increases, she feels suddenly more alert, and her mind searches wildly for an optimal response. Should she scream? Should she run? Where should she run to? What should she scream? Choices tumble through her mind at a frenetic rate. She has too many options to choose from and not enough time to consider them. Dramatically, instinct takes over. Without consciously deciding what to do, she suddenly finds herself moving with firm, quick steps straight toward the man angling across the street. Visibly startled by her boldness, the man veers off in another direction. The man behind her melts into the shadows as the man in front of her loses his strategic position. They are confused. She is safe. Thanks to her ability to trust her instinctual flow, this woman was not traumatized. Despite her initial confusion about what to do, she followed one of her innate defense action plans and successfully avoided the attack. A similar behavior was reported of Misha, a two-year-old Siberian Husky described in Elizabeth Thomas’ delightful book, The Hidden Life of Dogs. On one of his evening jaunts, Misha encountered a large, fierce Saint Bernard and was trapped between it and the highway: “…for a few seconds things looked bad for Misha, but then he solved the problem brilliantly. Head up, tail loosely high like a banner of self-confidence, he broke into a canter and bounded straight for the Saint Bernard.” For both the woman on the dark street and for Misha, successful resolutions to their problems emerged from instinctual action plans.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  When it was Sammy’s turn to be held under the blanket with Pooh Bear, he became quite agitated and fearful and ran back to his mother’s arms several times before he was able to accept the ultimate challenge. Bravely, he climbed under the blankets with Pooh while I held the blanket gently down. I watched his eyes grow wide with fear, but only momentarily. Then he grabbed Pooh Bear, shoved the blanket away, and flung himself into his mother’s arms. Sobbing and trembling, he screamed, “Mommy, get me out of here. Mommy, get this thing off of me.” His startled father told me that these were the same words Sammy screamed while imprisoned in the papoose at the hospital. He remembered this clearly because he had been quite surprised by his son’s ability to make such a direct, articulate demand at two-plus years of age. We went through the escape several more times. Each time, Sammy exhibited more power and more triumph. Instead of running fearfully to his mother, he jumped excitedly up and down. With every successful escape, we all clapped and danced together, cheering, “Yeah for Sammy, yeah, yeah, Sammy saved Pooh Bear.” Two-and-a-half-year-old Sammy had mastered the experience that shattered him a few months ago. What might have happened if we hadn’t made this intervention? Would Sammy have become more anxious, hyperactive, and controlling? Might the trauma have resulted in restricted and less adaptive behaviors later? Might he have re-enacted the event decades later, or would he have developed inexplicable symptoms (e.g., tummy aches, migraines, anxiety attacks) without knowing why? Clearly, all of these scenarios are possibl e - and equally impossible to pin down. We cannot know how, when, or even whether a child’s traumatic experience will invade his or her life in another form. However, we can help protect our children from these possibilities through prevention. We can also help them develop into surer, more spontaneous adults. Traumatic Play, Re-enactment, and Renegotiation It is important to appreciate the difference between traumatic play, traumatic re-enactment, and the re-working of trauma as we saw with Sammy. Traumatized adults often re-enact an event that in some way represents, at least to their unconscious, the original trauma. Similarly, children re-create traumatic events in their play. While they may not be aware of the significance behind their behaviors, they are deeply driven by the feelings associated with the original trauma to re-enact them. Even if they won’t talk about the trauma, traumatic play is one way a child will tell his or her story of the event. In Too Scared To Cr y [14] , Lenore Terr describes the play and responses of three-and-a-half-year-old Lauren as she plays with toy cars. “The cars are going on the people,” Lauren says as she zooms two racing cars toward some finger puppets. “They’re pointing their pointy parts into the people. The people are scared.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  The servant did as he was bidden, and the maid, having seized the clothes from his hands, and recognized them, turned pale with terror, strongly suspecting, in view of what she had been told, that they had murdered her. Scarcely able to prevent herself from screaming, she burst into tears, and, the scholar having now departed, she immediately set off at a run towards the tower, with the clothes under her arm. That same afternoon, a swineherd from the lady’s estate had had the misfortune to lose two of his pigs, and, searching all over for them, he arrived at the tower shortly after the scholar had left. Peering into every nook and cranny to see whether his pigs were anywhere to be found, he heard the unfortunate lady’s despairing moans, and climbing as far up the tower as he could, he called out: ‘Who is it that is crying up there?’ Recognizing the swineherd’s voice, the lady called to him by name, and said: ‘Alas! go fetch my maid and tell her to come up here.’ ‘Oh my God!’ he exclaimed, seeing who it was. ‘How ever did you get up there, ma’am? Your maid has been searching high and low for you the whole day. But who would have thought of looking for you here?’ Seizing the ladder by the two uprights, he set it in the proper position and began to tie on the rungs by means of withies. As he was doing this, the maidservant arrived on the scene, and on entering the tower, no longer able to hold herself in check, she clapped her palms to the sides of her head and cried out: ‘My poor, sweet mistress, where are you?’ On hearing the maidservant’s voice, the lady called to her with all her strength, saying: ‘Here I am, my sister. Up here. Don’t cry, but just bring me my clothes, and quickly.’ No sooner did she hear the voice of her mistress, than her fears were almost entirely dispelled, and climbing the ladder, which by this time was all but repaired, she succeeded with the swineherd’s assistance in reaching the platform, where, finding her mistress lying naked on the floor, utterly broken and exhausted, looking more like a burnt log than a human form, she dug her nails into her face and burst into tears, as though she were gazing down upon a corpse. However, the lady implored her for God’s sake to be silent and help her to dress. And having learnt from the maid that no one knew where she had been, except for the swineherd and those who had brought her clothes, she felt somewhat relieved, and begged them for God’s sake never to breathe a word about it to anyone.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  Symptoms that generally develop last include:  excessive shyness  muted or diminished emotional responses  inability to make commitments  chronic fatigue or very low physical energy  immune system problems and certain endocrine problems such as thyroid dysfunction  psychosomatic illnesses, particularly headaches, neck and back problems, asthma, digestive, spastic colon, and severe premenstrual syndrome  depression, feelings of impending doom  feelings of detachment, alienation, and isolatio n — ”living dead”  diminished interest in life  fear of dying, going crazy, or having a shortened life  frequent crying  abrupt mood swings, e.g., rage reactions or temper tantrums, shame  exaggerated or diminished sexual activity  amnesia and forgetfulness  feelings and behaviors of helplessness  inability to love, nurture, or bond with other individuals  difficulty with sleep  reduced ability to deal with stress and to formulate plans Obviously, not all these symptoms are caused exclusively by trauma, nor has everyone who exhibits one or more of these symptoms been traumatized. The flu, for instance, can cause malaise and abdominal discomfort that is similar to trauma symptoms. However, there is a difference; symptoms produced by the flu generally go away in a few days. Those produced by trauma do not. The symptoms of trauma can be stable (ever-present), unstable (will come and go), or they can hide for decades. Generally, these symptoms do not occur individually, but in constellations. These “syndromes” often grow increasingly complex over time, becoming less and less connected with the original trauma experience. While certain symptoms can suggest a particular type of trauma, no symptom is exclusively indicative of the trauma that caused it. People will manifest traumatic symptoms differently, depending on the nature and severity of the trauma, the situation in which it occurred, and the personal and developmental resources available to the individual at the time of the experience. And Around and Around We Go Relaxing makes me nervous. Unknown As I have mentioned repeatedly, the perception of threat in the presence of undischarged arousal creates a self-perpetuating cycle. One of the most insidious characteristics of trauma symptoms is that they are hooked into the original cycle in such a way that they are also self-perpetuating. This characteristic is the primary reason why trauma is resistant to most forms of treatment. For some people, this self-perpetuating cycle keeps their symptoms stable. Others develop one or a variety of additional behaviors or predispositions (all of which may be considered trauma symptoms) to help the nervous system keep the situation under control. Avoidance behaviors. Trauma symptoms are the organism’s way of defending itself against the arousal generated by an ever-present perception of threat. This defense system, however, is not sophisticated enough to withstand much stress. Stress causes the system to break down, releasing the original arousal energy and its message of danger. Unfortunately, when we live with the aftereffects of trauma, simply avoiding stressful situations is not sufficient to prevent the breakdown of the defense systems.

• From Adam, Eve, and the Serpent (1988)

  And Jesus said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage; but those who are accounted worthy to attain to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, for they cannot die any more, because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection.” (LUKE 20:34–36) Such statements must have horrified Jewish traditionalists, for barren women, whom Jesus blessed, had traditionally been seen as accursed, and eunuchs, whom Jesus praised, were despised by rabbinic teachers for their sexual incapacity. Unmarried himself, Jesus praised the very persons most pitied and shunned in Jewish communities for their sexual incompleteness—those who were single and childless; for Jesus’ radical message of the impending Kingdom of God left his followers no time to fulfill the ordinary obligations of everyday life. First-century Christians saw themselves participating at the birth of a revolutionary movement that they expected would culminate in the total social transformation that Jesus promised in the “age to come.” To prepare themselves for these events, Jesus commanded his followers to forget ordinary concerns about food and clothing, “sell your possessions, and give alms” (Luke 12:33), divest themselves of all property, and abandon family obligations, whether to parents, spouses, or children, for such obligations would interfere with their dedication to the apocalyptic hopes Jesus announced; the disciple must become wholly free to serve God. According to Luke, Jesus even went so far as to say, “If any one comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26). The coming new age demands new—and total—allegiance, no longer to family and nation but to the kingdom itself. Thus Jesus urges his followers to break their merely natural relationships in favor of spiritual ones. Acknowledging that such teaching divides and disrupts family relationships, Jesus boldly declares: “I came to cast fire upon the earth; and would that it were already kindled! … Do you think that I have come to give peace to the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division; for henceforth in one house there will be five divided, three against two and two against three; they will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against her mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.” (LUKE 12:49–53) Mark tells how Jesus rejected his own mother and brothers in favor of the family of his followers. When his mother and brothers came to speak with him and stood outside the crowded room where he was preaching, he refused to go to them, saying, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking around on those who sat about him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother, and sister, and mother.” (MARK 3:33–35)

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  Any truly honest person will acknowledge that we all have the capacity for both violence and love. Both are equally basic aspects of the human experience. What may be even more significant in understanding the roots of war is the human vulnerability to traumatization. We should not forget that it was in the frightening symptoms manifested by some of the soldiers who returned from combat that the effects of trauma were first recognized. As we discussed in the last chapter, trauma creates a compelling drive for re-enactment when we are unaware of its impact upon us. What if entire communities of people are driven into mass re-enactments by experiences such as war? In the face of such mass mindless compulsion, a “New World Order” would become a meaningless polemic. Lasting peace among warring peoples cannot be accomplished without first healing the traumas of previous terrorism, violence, and horror on a mass scale. Does the drive for re-enactment propel societies who have a history of waging war on one another into confrontation after confrontation? Consider the evidence and decide for yourself. The Animal Approach to Aggression Most animals in the course of feeding or mating exhibit aggressive behaviors. Thanks to National Geographic and other programs about wildlife, these behaviors are well known to us. Animals routinely kill and eat members of other species. When it comes to members of their own species, Nature seems to have drawn a line that animals rarely cross. There are some exceptions, but generally speaking, members of the same species rarely kill or even seriously injure one another. In spite of the strong evolutionary imperative that drives animal aggression, most wild creatures have taboos about killing their own kind. Within species, there have evolved ritualized behaviors that usually prevent mortal injury. Animals of the same species exhibit these behaviors both for the act of aggression itself as well as to signal that the confrontation is over. For instance, when male deer confront one another, they use their antlers to “lock heads.” The purpose of the encounter is not to kill the other deer but rather to establish dominance. The ensuing struggle is clearly more like a wrestling match than a duel to the death. When one of the deer establishes its superiority, the other leaves the area and the matter is finished. If, on the other hand, the deer is attacked by a member of another species such as a mountain lion, it will use those antlers to gore its attacker. Similarly, when fighting with members of their own species, most dogs and wolves bite to wound, not to kill.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  Arousal is the activity that energizes our survival responses. Imagine you are standing at the edge of a steep cliff. As you look down, observe the jagged rocks below. Now, notice what you are experiencing in your body. In this situation, most people will become aroused in some way. Many of us will experience a rush of energy which may be felt as a flash of heat or an increased heart rate. You may notice a tightening of throat and anal sphincter muscles. Others may feel exhilarated by the close proximity to danger and find it challenging. Most of us enjoy the “natural high” we get from wild arousal. Many of us seek out “near-death” experiences like bungee-jumping, skydiving, and paragliding because of the euphoric feeling that comes with extreme states of arousal. I have worked and talked with numerous war veterans who lament the fact that they have not felt fully alive since they were in the “heat of battle.” Human beings long to be challenged by life, and we need the arousal that energizes us to meet and overcome these challenges. Deep satisfaction is one of the fruits of a completed arousal cycle. The cycle looks like this: we are challenged or threatened, then aroused; the arousal peaks as we mobilize to face the challenge or threat; then, the arousal is actively brought down, leaving us relaxed and satisfied. Traumatized people have a deep distrust of the arousal cycle, usually for good reason. This is because to a trauma victim, arousal has become coupled with the overwhelming experience of being immobilized by fear. Because of this fear, the traumatized person will prevent or avoid completion of the arousal cycle, and remain stuck in a cycle of fear. The key for trauma victims is becoming reacquainted with a simple natural law. What goes up must come down. When we can trust the arousal cycle and are able to flow with it, the healing of trauma will begin. Following are some of the most common signs of arousal:  physica l — increase in heart rate, difficulty breathing (rapid, shallow, panting, etc.), cold sweats, tingling muscular tension  menta l — increase in thoughts, mind racing, worrying If we allow ourselves to acknowledge these thoughts and sensations using the felt sense and let them have their natural flow, they will peak, then begin to diminish and resolve. As this process occurs, we may experience trembling, shaking, vibration, waves of warmth, fullness of breath, slowed heart rate, warm sweating, relaxation of the muscles, and an overall feeling of relief, comfort and safety. Trauma Is Trauma, No Matter What Caused It Trauma occurs when an event creates an unresolved impact on an organism. Resolution is accomplished through working with this unresolved impact through the felt sense.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  Make a note of the current time in minutes and seconds. Take a deep breath and relax. Let your body return to the level of comfort you experienced before you started the exercise. Focus on the felt sense of that comfort and when you feel that you are ready to move on to the next part of the exercise. Make a note of the time in minutes and seconds. Part Two: Visualize yourself sitting on the front step of some friends’ house waiting for them to come home. It’s a warm day and the sky is clear. You aren’t in a hurry so it feels comfortable to just lean back and enjoy the day while you wait for your friends to arrive. Suddenly, a man you had noticed walking on the street begins running straight toward you screaming and waving a gun. How does your body respond? Finish the exercise as you did in Part One. Part Three: Pretend you are driving your car on the freeway. Traffic isn’t bad, but your destination is still twenty minutes away. You decide this would be a good time to listen to some music. You have just reached for the radio when a semi-truck careens across the center divider and heads straight for your car. How does your body respond? Finish the exercise as you did in the previous parts. Part Four: Compare your answers for the first three parts of the exercise. How similar are your responses to each of the three scenarios?  What is different?  How easy is it for you to relax now?  Make a note of the time it took you to relax after each exercise. Most people will have similar responses to all three scenarios. Any potentially traumatizing event, real or imagined, results in certain physiological responses that vary from person to person, primarily in their magnitude. This response is a generic phenomenon throughout the animal kingdom. If you personally find it difficult to control your arousal, then open your eyes and focus on some (pleasant) aspect of your environment. Whenever humans or animals lack the resources to successfully deal with a dangerous event, the arousal and other physiological changes that mark their response to the event will be essentially the same. Because everyone experiences the early stages of trauma in a similar way, you can learn to recognize this experience just as the exercise above taught you to recognize the initial response to danger. Once again, the place to look for these similarities is in the felt sense. How do they register in your body? The Core of the Traumatic Reaction There are four components of trauma that will always be present to some degree in any traumatized person: 1. hyperarousal 2. constriction 3. dissociation 4. freezing (immobility), associated with the feeling of helplessness.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  Similarly, when women who have been raped begin to come out of shock (frequently, months or even years later), they often have the impulse to kill their assailants. In some instances, they may have the opportunity to carry this action through. Some of these women have been tried and sentenced for “pre-meditated” murder because the time lapse was viewed as premeditation. Some injustices may have occurred due to the misunderstanding of the biological drama that was perhaps being played out. It is possible that a number of these women may have been acting upon the profound (and delayed) self-protective responses of rage and counter-attack that they experienced coming out of agitated immobility. These reprisals may be biologically motivated, and not necessarily by premeditated revenge. Some of these killings could have been prevented by effective treatment of post-traumatic shock. In post-traumatic anxiety, immobility is maintained primarily from within. The impulse towards intense aggression is so frightening that the traumatized person often turns it inward on themselves rather than allow it external expression. This imploded anger takes the form of anxious depression and the varied symptoms of post-traumatic stress. Like the pigeon that tries frantically to escape, but is recaptured and held prisoner once more, trauma victims beginning to exit immobility are often trapped by their own fear of abrupt activation and their potential for violence. They remain in a vicious cycle of terror, rage, and immobility. They are primed for full-out escape or raging counter-attack, but remain inhibited because of fear of violence to themselves and others. Like Death Itself In Chapter Seven, we discussed the biological advantage of the immobility response for prey animals. Deceiving a predator into believing its quarry is already dead often works. However, the predator is not the only actor on the stage who responds to immobility as though its prey were dead. The physiology of the immobilized animal acts as though it were dead. Animals can actually die from “immobility response overdose.” The reptilian brain has ultimate control over life and death. If it receives repeated messages that the animal is dead, it may comply. In most cases, however, the reptilian brain does not constantly register that the animal is dead; therefore, there are no serious consequences. The animal remains in the immobility state for a period of time and then moves out of it through trembling discharge. The incident is completed.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  The organism doesn’t just use characteristics of physical objects to communicate. It also uses images that can easily be construed as memories. The energetic forces that result in trauma are immensely powerful. The emotions that are generated by trauma include rage, terror, and helplessness. If your body elects to communicate the presence of such energies to you through image s, consider the kinds of images you might see. The possibilities are endless. They will have one thing in commo n- they won’t be pretty. One mistake that is made all too often is that people interpret these visual communications as reality. A traumatized individual may end up believing that he or she was raped or tortured when the actual message the organism is trying to convey is that this sensation you are experiencing feels like rape or torture. The actual culprit could just as easily have been a terrifying medical procedure, an automobile accident, or even childhood neglect. It could literally be anything. Of course, some images really are memories. People who have suffered from rape or torture will draw on those experiences in producing images. It is common for children who have had these experiences not to remember them until years later. Even if the images are “true” memories, we have to understand their role in healing. The explanations, beliefs, and interpretations connected with memories can get in the way of completely entering and deepening the felt sense. The sensations that accompany these images are immensely valuable. For our purposes, what matters most is how the sensations feel and how they change. Sensation and the Felt Sense When working with physiology, the first thing to recognize is that the felt sense is closely related to awareness. Its like watching the scenery, or in this case, sensing the scenery. Awareness means experiencing what is present without trying to change or interpret it. Anytime you catch yourself saying or thinking, “this mean s ,” you are attaching an interpretation to your experience that will take you out of simple awareness and back into the realm of psychology. Meaning does have a place in healing trauma as a consequence of direct awareness. For now, it is more important to focus on what you experience rather than on what you think about it. I’ll say more about the importance of meaning in healing trauma later.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  Johnny, age five, proudly riding his first bicycle, hits loose gravel and careens into a tree. He is momentarily knocked unconscious. Getting up amid a flow of tears, he feels disoriented and somehow different. His parents hug him, console him, and put him back on the bike, all the while praising his courage. They do not realize how stunned and frightened he is. Years after this apparently minor incident, John, driving with his wife and children, swerves to avoid an oncoming car. He freezes in the midst of the turn. Fortunately, the other driver is able to maneuver successfully and avoid catastrophe. One morning several days later, John begins to feel restless while driving to work. His heart starts racing and pounding; his hands become cold and sweaty. Feeling threatened and trapped, he has a sudden impulse to jump out of the car and run. He acknowledges the “craziness” of his feelings, realizes no one was hurt, and gradually, the symptoms subside. A vague and nagging apprehension, however, persists most of the day. Returning home that evening without incident, he feels relieved. The next morning, John leaves early to avoid the traffic and stays late to discuss business with some colleagues. When he arrives home, he is irritable and edgy. He argues with his wife and barks at the children. John goes to bed early. He is awakened in the middle of the night and faintly recalls a dream in which his car is sliding out of control. He is drenched in sweat. More fretful nights follow. John is experiencing a delayed reaction sensitized by the bike accident he had as a child. Incredible as it may seem, post-traumatic reactions of this type are common. After working for more than twenty-five years with people suffering from trauma, I can say that at least half of my clients have had traumatic symptoms that remained dormant for a significant period of time before surfacing. For many people, the interval between the event and the onset of symptoms is between six weeks and eighteen months. However, the latency period can last for years or even decades. In both instances, the reactions are often triggered by seemingly insignificant events. Of course, not every childhood accident produces a delayed traumatic reaction. Some have no residual effect at all. Others, including those viewed as “minor” and forgotten incidents of childhood, can have significant after effects. A fall, a seemingly benign surgical procedure, the loss of a parent through death or divorce, severe illness, even circumcision and other routine medical procedures can all cause traumatic reactions later in life, depending on how the child experiences them at the time they occur.

• From Adam, Eve, and the Serpent (1988)

  One day Justin himself, as he had anticipated and feared, stood in court, arrested and charged with being a Christian. His judge, Rusticus, urban prefect of Rome, was Marcus Aurelius’s personal friend and longtime advisor, who had inspired the young emperor, Marcus says, “with the idea of a state based upon equality and freedom of speech, and of a monarchy which values above all the liberty of the subject.”59 Justin probably knew that his judge’s very name evoked the political philosophy with which Justin himself identified; for Rusticus proudly claimed to be descended from a famous Stoic philosopher who had defied the tyranny of the self-styled “lord and god,” the emperor Domitian, and had paid for his courage with his execution. Yet Rusticus acknowledged no affinity with Justin—much less the affinity Justin dared claim between himself and Socrates—and saw in this itinerant philosopher only a stubborn dissident who refused to obey Rusticus’s simple command: “Obey the gods and submit to the emperors.”60 Both men—the judge and the accused—took for granted the implied connection between religious sacrifice and political submission. But Rusticus saw both as the minimum obligations of any citizen, while Justin and his companions saw such acts as betrayal of Christ, their true King. After his interrogation, Rusticus repeated his demand: “Let us come to the point at issue—a necessary and urgent matter. Agree together to offer sacrifice to the gods.” Justin said, “No one of sound mind turns from piety to sacrilege.” The prefect said, “If you do not obey, you will be punished without mercy.” Justin and his companions replied, “Do what you will: we are Christians, and will not sacrifice to idols.” The prefect Rusticus then passed judgment, saying, “Those who have refused to sacrifice to the gods and yield to the emperor’s edict are to be taken away to be beaten and beheaded, in accordance with the laws.”61 Later generations of readers, whose perceptions were shaped by long-established Christian ideas that Justin and the other martyrs were simply following their religious convictions and were not offering a political challenge, have often missed seeing how genuinely radical Justin’s stand actually was—as Rusticus, clearly, did not. Justin himself had argued that the state’s policy of executing Christians was based upon a mistake. Christians were, in reality, the best of citizens, who willingly obeyed the laws and paid their full taxes.62 This much was true; yet Justin also knew that Christians, himself included, refused to do the one thing that the magistrates actually did command them to do—to make token sacrifices to the gods or to the emperor’s genius.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  What they look for are the telltale signs revealed in the stiff, uncoordinated movements and the disoriented behavior of their potential prey. The Last Turn As trauma symptoms grow more complex, they begin incorporating all the aspects of the trauma sufferer’s experience into their web. These symptoms have a physiological basis, but by the time their development has reached the last turn in its downward spiral, they will be not only affecting, but actually driving the mental aspects of our experience as well. What is most frightening is that a large portion of this impact will remain unconscious. The impact of trauma may not be fully conscious but it certainly is fully active. In an insidious way, trauma contributes to the motives and drives of our behavior. What this means is that the man who was hit as a child will feel compelled to hit as an adult. The energy behind his need to strike out is none other than the energy contained in his traumatic symptoms. This unconscious compulsion can only be conquered by great acts of will until the energy is discharged. The phenomenon that drives the repetition of past traumatic events is called re-enactment. It is the symptom that dominates the last turn of the downward spiral in the development of trauma symptoms. Re-enactment is more compelling, mysterious, and destructive to us as individuals, as a society, and as a world community. III. Transformation 13. Blueprint for Repetition Re-Enactment It astonishes us far too little. Sigmund Freud The drive to complete and heal trauma is as powerful and tenacious as the symptoms it creates. The urge to resolve trauma through re-enactment can be severe and compulsive. We are inextricably drawn into situations that replicate the original trauma in both obvious and unobvious ways. The prostitute or “stripper” with a history of childhood sexual abuse is a common example. We may find ourselves experiencing the effects of trauma either through physical symptoms or through a full-blown interaction with the external environment. Re-enactments may be acted out in intimate relationships, work situations, repetitive accidents or mishaps, and in other seemingly random events. They may also appear in the form of bodily symptoms or psychosomatic diseases. Children who have had a traumatic experience will often repeatedly recreate it in their play. Adults, on a larger developmental scale, will re-enact traumas in our daily lives. The mechanism is similar regardless of the individual’s age. From a biological perspective, behavior that is as powerful and compelling as re-enactment falls into the category of “survival strategies.” This means that the behaviors have been selected because, historically, they are advantageous to the perpetuation of a species. What, then, is the survival value of the often dangerous re-enactments that plague many traumatized individuals and societies?

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  Resolving a traumatic reaction does much more than eliminate the likelihood of reactions emerging later in life. It fosters an ability to move through threatening situations with greater ease. It creates, in essence, a natural resilience to stress. A nervous system accustomed to moving into stress and then out of it is healthier than a nervous system burdened with an ongoing, if not accumulating, level of stress. Children who are encouraged to attend to their instinctual responses are rewarded with a lifelong legacy of health and vigor. How Can I Tell If My Child Has Been Traumatized? Any unusual behavior that begins shortly after a severely frightening episode or medical procedure, particularly with anesthesia, may indicate that your child is traumatized. Compulsive, repetitive mannerism s (such as repeatedly smashing a toy car into a doll) are an almost sure sign of an unresolved reaction to a traumatic event. (The activity may or may not be a literal replay of the trauma.) Other signs of traumatic stress include: 1. persistent, controlling behaviors 2. regression to earlier behavior patterns, such as thumb-sucking 3. tantrums, uncontrollable rage attacks 4. hyperactivity 5. a tendency to startle easily 6. recurring night terrors or nightmares, thrashing while asleep, bed-wetting 7. inability to concentrate in school, forgetfulness 8. excessive belligerence or shyness, withdrawal or fearfulness 9. extreme need to cling 10. stomachaches, headaches, or other ailments of unknown origin. To find out whether an uncustomary behavior is indeed a traumatic reaction, try mentioning the frightening episode and see how your child responds. A traumatized child may not want to be reminded of the predisposing event, or conversely, once reminded, will become excited or fearful and unable to stop talking about it. Reminders are revealing retrospectively as well. Children who have “outgrown” unusual behavior patterns have not necessarily discharged the energy that gave rise to them. The reason traumatic reactions can hide for years is that the maturing nervous system is able to control the excess energy. By reminding your child of a frightening incident that precipitated altered behaviors in years past, you may well stir up signs of traumatic residue. Reactivating a traumatic symptom need not be cause for concern. The physiological processes involved, primitive as they are, respond well to interventions that both engage and allow them to follow the natural course of healing. Children are wonderfully receptive to experiencing the healing side of a traumatic reaction. Your job is simply to provide an opportunity for this to occur. Sammy: A Case History The following is an example of what can happen when a relatively common incident goes awry: