Desire

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  chance to fantasize about you. Do not spoil this golden opportunity by by the dread of a frightful overexposing yourself, or becoming so familiar and banal that the target calamity and now sees you exactly as you are. You do not have to be an angel, or a paragon of concentrates fully. Thus virtue—that would be quite boring. You can be dangerous, naughty, even begins: • 7. The second crystallization, which somewhat vulgar, depending on the tastes of your victim. But never be or-deposits diamond layers of dinary or limited. In poetry (as opposed to reality), anything is possible. proof that "she loves me." Soon after we fall under a person's spell, we form an image in our • Every few minutes throughout the night which minds of who they are and what pleasures they might offer. Thinking of follows the birth of doubt, them when we are alone, we tend to make this image more and more ide-the lover has a moment of alized. The novelist Stendhal, in his book On Love, calls this phenomenon dreadful misgiving, and then reassures himself "she "crystallization," telling the story of how, in Salzburg, Austria, they used to loves me"; and throw a leafless branch into the abandoned depths of a salt mine in the crystallization begins to middle of winter. When the branch was pulled out months later, it would reveal new charms. Then once again the haggard eye be covered with spectacular crystals. That is what happens to a loved one in of doubt pierces him and he our minds. stops transfixed. He forgets According to Stendhal, though, there are two crystallizations. The first to draw breath and mutters, happens when we first meet the person. The second and more important " B u t does she love me?" Torn between doubt and one happens later, when a bit of doubt creeps in—you desire the other per-delight, the poor lover son, but they elude you, you are not sure they are yours. This bit of doubt convinces himself that she is critical—it makes your imagination work double, deepens the poeticizing could give him such pleasure as he could find process. In the seventeenth century, the great rake the Duc de Lauzun nowhere else on earth. pulled off one of the most spectacular seductions in history—that of the — S T E N D H A L , L O V E , Grande Mademoiselle, the cousin of King Louis XIV, and the wealthiest TRANSLATED BY GILBERT AND and most powerful woman in France. He tickled her imagination with a SUZANNE SALE

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  on real information; focus on feelings and sensations, using expressions that you really do want to do this, \ There is the bedroom are ripe with connotation. Plant ideas by dropping hints, writing sugges-your dear son Hephaestus \ tively without explaining yourself. Never lecture, never seem intellectual or Built for you, with good superior—you will only make yourself pompous, which is deadly. Far bet- solid doors. Let's go \ ter to speak colloquially, though with a poetic edge to lift the language There and lie down, since you're in the mood. " \ above the commonplace. Do not become sentimental—it is tiring, and too 258 • The Art of Seduction And Zeus, who masses the direct. Better to suggest the effect your target has on you than to gush clouds, replied: \ "Hera, about how you feel. Stay vague and ambiguous, allowing the reader the don't worry about any god space to imagine and fantasize. The goal of your writing is not to ex-or man \ Seeing us. I'll enfold you in a cloud so press yourself but to create emotion in the reader, spreading confusion and dense \ And golden not desire. even Helios could spy on You will know that your letters are having the proper effect when your us, \ And his light is the sharpest vision there is." targets come to mirror your thoughts, repeating words you wrote, whether in their own letters or in person. This is the time to move to the more — H O M E R , THE ILIAD, TRANSLATED BY STANLEY physical and erotic. Use language that quivers with sexual connotation, or, LOMBARDO better still, suggest sexuality by making your letters shorter, more frequent, and even more disordered than before. There is nothing more erotic than the short abrupt note. Your thoughts are unfinished; they can only be com-ANTONY: Friends, pleted by the other person. Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; \ I come to Sganarelle to Don Juan: Well, what I have to say is . . . I bury Caesar, not to praise don't know what to say; for you turn things in such a him. \ The evil that men do lives after them; \ The manner with your words, that it seems that you are right; good is oft interred with and yet, the truth of it is, you are not. I had the finest their bones. \ So let it be thoughts in the world, and your words have totally scram-with Caesar. . . . \ I speak bled them up. not to disprove what Brutus spoke, \ But here I —MOLIÈRE am to speak what I do know. \ You all did love him once, not without cause. \ What cause Keys to Seduction withholds you then to mourn for him? \ O judgment, thou art fled to

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  dressed gentleman invited her home for some cakes. She followed him to his house, where he proceeded to take advantage of her. The next morning this man, a diamond merchant, promised to set her up in a house of her Apparently the possession of own, treat her well, and give her plenty of money. She took the money but humor implies the left him, determined to do what she had always wanted: never see her possession of a number of typical habit-systems. The family again, never depend on anyone, and lead the grand life that her fa-first is an emotional one: the ther had promised her. habit of playfulness. Why With the money the diamond merchant had given her, Emma bought should one be proud of being playful? For a double nice clothes and rented a cheap flat. Adopting the flamboyant name of reason. First, playfulness Cora Pearl, she began to frequent London's Argyll Rooms, a fancy gin connotes childhood and palace where harlots and gentlemen rubbed elbows. The proprietor of the youth. If one can be playful, one still possesses something Argyll, a Mr. Bignell, took note of this newcomer to his establishment— of the vigor and the joy of she was so brazen for a young girl. At forty-five, he was much older young life . . . • But there than she was, but he decided to be her lover and protector, lavishing her is a deeper implication. To with money and attention. The following year he took her to Paris, which be playful is, in a sense, to be free. When a person is was at the height of its Second Empire prosperity. Cora was enthralled by playful, he momentarily Paris, and of all its sights, but what impressed her the most was the parade disregards the binding of rich coaches in the Bois de Boulogne. Here the fashionable came to take necessities which compel him, in business and morals, the air—the empress, the princesses, and, not least the grand courtesans, in domestic and community who had the most opulent carriages of all. This was the way to lead the life. . . . • What galls us is kind of life Cora's father had wanted for her. She promptly told Bignell that that the binding necessities do not permit us to shape when he went back to London, she would stay on alone. our world as we please. . . . Frequenting all the right places, Cora soon came to the attention of What we most deeply wealthy French gentlemen. They would see her walking the streets in a desire, however, is to create bright pink dress, to complement her flaming red hair, pale face, and freck-our world for ourselves.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  the girl, ever ready to obey woman—but mix them all up as if they were one. Then as he returned to the call to duty and bring discussing spiritual matters, he would suddenly take the woman's hand, or him under control, whisper into her ear. All this would have an intoxicating effect—women happened to develop a taste would find themselves dragged into a kind of maelstrom, both spiritually for the sport, and began saying to Rustico: • "I can uplifted and sexually excited. Hundreds of women succumbed during certainly see what those these spiritual visits, for he would also tell them that they could not repent worthy men in Gafsa until they had sinned, and who better to sin with than Rasputin. meant when they said that serving God was so Rasputin understood the intimate connection between the sexual and agreeable. I don't honestly the spiritual. Spirituality, the love of God, is a sublimated version of sexual recall ever having done love. The language of the religious mystics of the Middle Ages is full of anything that gave me so much pleasure and erotic images; the contemplation of God and of the sublime can offer a satisfaction as I get from kind of mental orgasm. There is no more seductive brew than the combi-putting the devil back in nation of the spiritual and the sexual, the high and the low. When you talk Hell. To my way of thinking, anyone who of spiritual matters, then, let your looks and physical presence hint of sexu-devotes his energies to ality at the same time. Make the harmony of the universe and union with anything but the service of God seem to confuse with physical harmony and the union between two God is a complete people. If you can make the endgame of your seduction appear as a spiri-blockhead." • . . . And so, young ladies, if you stand tual experience, you will heighten the physical pleasure and create a seducin need of God's grace, see tion with a deep and lasting effect. Use Spiritual Lures • 367 Symbol: The Stars in the sky. Objects of worship for cen-that you learn to put the devil back in Hell, for it is turies, and symbols of the sublime and divine. In contemplat-greatly to His liking and pleasurable to the parties ing them, we are momentarily distracted from everything concerned, and a great deal of good can arise and flow mundane and mortal. We feel lightness. Lift your tar- in the process. gets' minds up to the stars and they will not — G I O V A N N I BOCCACCIO, THE DECAMERON, TRANSLATED notice what is happening here B Y G . H . M C W I L L I A M on earth. Reversal

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  He served as the model for Elvis Presley, who was obsessed with this star of the silents, and also for the modern male dandy who plays with gender but retains an edge of danger and cruelty. Seduction was and will always remain the female form of power and warfare. It was originally the antidote to rape and violence. The man who uses this form of power on a woman is in essence turning the game around, god. If you are, perhaps you may be Cupid? . . . If there is such a girl [engaged to you], let me enjoy your love in secret: but if there is not, then I pray that I may be your bride, and that we may enter upon marriage together." The naiad said no more; but a blush stained the boy's cheeks, for he did not know what love was. Even blushing became him: his cheeks were the colour of ripe apples, hanging in a sunny orchard, like painted ivory or like the moon when, in eclipse, she shows a reddish hue beneath her brightness. . . . Incessantly the nymph demanded at least sisterly kisses, and tried to put her arms round his ivory neck. "Will you stop!" he cried, "or I shall run away and leave this place and you!" Salmacis was afraid: "1 yield the spot to you, stranger, I shall not intrude," she said; and, turning from him, pretended to go away. . . . The boy, meanwhile, thinking himself unobserved and alone, strolled this way and that on the grassy sward, and dipped his toes in the lapping water—then his feet, up to the ankles. Then, tempted by the enticing coolness of the waters, he quickly stripped his young body of its soft garments. At the sight, Salmacis was spell-bound. She was on fire with passion to possess his naked beauty, and her very eyes flamed with a brilliance like that of the dazzling sun, when his bright disc is reflected in a mirror. . . . She longed to embrace him then, and with difficulty restrained her frenzy. Hermaphroditus, clapping his hollow palms against The Dandy • 45 employing feminine weapons against her; without losing his masculine identity, the more subtly feminine he becomes the more effective the se- duction. Do not be one of those who believe that what is most seductive is being devastatingly masculine. The Feminine Dandy has a much more sin- ister effect. He lures the woman in with exactly what she wants—a familiar, pleasing, graceful presence. Mirroring feminine psychology, he displays at- tention to his appearance, sensitivity to detail, a slight coquettishness—but also a hint of male cruelty. Women are narcissists, in love with the charms of their own sex. By showing them feminine charm, a man can mesmerize and disarm them, leaving them vulnerable to a bold, masculine move. The Feminine Dandy can seduce on a mass scale.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  When Marlene Dietrich entered a room, or arrived at a party, all eyes in- evitably turned to her. First there were her startling clothes, chosen to make heads turn. Then there was her air of nonchalant indifference. Men, and women too, became obsessed with her, thinking of her long after other memories of the evening had faded. Remember: that first impression, that words; he examined her sigh minutely, her farewell, he whole behavior. . . But since he was uncertain of her motive—whether she had acted from enmity or love—he wavered in perplexity. He wavered in his thoughts now here, now there. At one moment he was off in one direction, then suddenly in another, till he had so ensnared himself in the toils of his own desire that he was powerless to escape . . . • His entanglement had placed him in a quandary, for he did not know whether she wished him well or ill; he could not make out whether she loved or hated him. No hope or despair did he consider which did not forbid him either to advance or retreat—hope and despair led him to and fro in unresolved dissension. Hope spoke to him of love, despair of hatred. Because of this discord he could yield his firm belief neither to hatred nor yet to love. Thus his feelings drifted in an unsure haven—hope bore him on, despair away. He found no constancy in either; they agreed neither one way or another. When despair came and told him that his Blancheflor was his enemy he faltered and sought to escape: but at once came hope, bringing him her love, and a fond aspiration, and so perforce he remained. In the face of such discord he did not know where to turn: no- where could he go forward. The more he strove to flee, the more firmly love forced him back. The harder he struggled to escape, love drew him back more firmly. —GOTTFRIED VON STRASSBURG, TRISTAN, TRANSLATED BY A.T. HATTO Send Mixed Signals • 193 entrance, is critical. To show too much desire for attention is to signal inse- curity, and will often drive people away; play it too cold and disinterested, on the other hand, and no one will bother coming near. The trick is to combine the two attitudes at the same moment. It is the essence of coquetry. Perhaps you have a reputation for a particular quality, which im- mediately comes to mind when people see you. You will better hold their attention by suggesting that behind this reputation some other quality lies lurking. No one had a darker, more sinful reputation than Lord Byron.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  What came easily to him, or fell into his arms, held no allure for him. What would tempt Don Juan into desiring Cristeta again, into pursuing her, was the sense that she was already taken, that she was forbidden fruit. That was his weakness—that was why he pursued virgins and married women, women he was not supposed to have. To a man, she reasoned, the grass always seems greener somewhere else. She would make herself that distant, allur- ing object, just out of reach, tantalizing him, stirring up emotions he could not control. He knew how charming and desirable she had once been to him. The idea of possessing her again, and the pleasure he imagined it would bring, were too much for him: he swallowed the bait. Temptation is a twofold process. First you are coquettish, flirtatious; you stimulate a desire by promising pleasure and distraction from daily life. At the same time, you make it clear to your targets that they cannot have you, at least not right away. You are establishing a barrier, some kind of tension. In days gone by such barriers were easy to create, by taking advantage of preexisting social obstacles—of class, race, marriage, religion. Today the barriers have to be more psychological: your heart is taken by someone else; you are really not interested in the target; some secret holds you back; the timing is bad; you are not good enough for the other person; the other any tree of the garden'?" And the woman said to the serpent, "We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden; but God said, 'You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.' " But the serpent said to the woman, "You will not die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil. " So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband, and he ate. —GENESIS 3:1 , OLD TESTAMENT Thou strong seducer, Opportunity. —-JOHN DRYDEN As he listened, Masetto experienced such a longing to go and stay with these nuns that his whole body tingled with excitement, for it was clear from what he had heard that he should be able to achieve what he had in mind. Realizing, however, that he would get nowhere by revealing his intentions to Nuto, he replied: • "How right you were to come away from the [nunnery]! What sort of a life can any man lead when he's surrounded by a lot of women? He might as well be living with a pack of devils.

• From Bright Lights, Big City (1984)

  chance for earthly salvation. You know for a fact that if you go out into the morning alone, without even your sunglasses—which you have neglected to bring, because who, after all, plans on these travesties?— the harsh, angling light will turn you to flesh and bone. Mortality will pierce you through the retina. But there she is in her pegged pants, a kind of doo-wop Retro ponytail pulled off to the side, as eligible a candidate as you are likely to find this late in the game. The sexual equivalent of fast food. She shrugs and nods when you ask her to dance. You like the way she moves, the oiled ellipses of her hips and shoulders. After the second song, she says she’s tired. She’s at the point of bolting when you ask her if she needs a little pick-me-up. “You’ve got some blow?” she says. “Is Stevie Wonder blind?” you say. She takes your arm and leads you into the Ladies’. A couple of spoons and she seems to like you just fine, and you are feeling very likable yourself. A couple more. This woman is all nose. “I love drugs,” she says, as you march toward the bar. “It’s something we have in common,” you say. “Have you ever noticed how all the good words start with D? D and L.” You try to think about this. You’re not quite sure what she’s driving at. The Bolivians are singing their marching song, but you can’t make out the words. “You know. Drugs. Delight. Decadence.” “Debauchery,” you say, catching the tune now. “Dexedrine.” “Delectable. Deranged. Debilitated.” “Delinquent.” “Delirium.” “And L,” she says. “Lush and luscious.” “Languorous.”

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  ing to fear. He simply liked being with her. She relaxed, and politely asked on the fire and scattered him to put his hand back. Over the next few weeks she saw him almost scent about. "Do that for which we have come here," every day. She became his secretary. Soon she was spending weekend nights Satni repeated. "First you as his house guest. He took her on skiing and boating trips. He remained will make out a deed for the perfect gentleman, but when he looked at her or touched her hand, she my maintenance," Thubuit felt overwhelmed by an exhilarating sensation, a tingling on her skin that replied, "and you will establish a dowry for me of she compared to stepping into a cold-needle shower on a red-hot day. Soon all the things and goods she was going to church less often, drifting away from the life she had which belong to you, in known. Although outwardly nothing had changed between them, inwardly writing." Satni acquiesced, saying, "Bring me the all semblance of resistance to him had melted away. One night, after a party, scribe of the school." • she succumbed. She and Flynn eventually engaged in a stormy marriage When he had done what that lasted seven years. she asked, Thubuit rose and dressed herself in a robe of fine linen, through which Satni could see all Interpretation. The women who became involved with Errol Flynn (and her limbs. His passion increased, but she said, "If by the end of his life they numbered in the thousands) had every reason in it is true that you desire to the world to feel suspicious of him: he was real life's closest thing to a Don have your pleasure of me, Juan. (In fact he had played the legendary seducer in a film.) He was con-you will make your stantly surrounded by women, who knew that no involvement with him children subscribe to my deed, that they may not could last. And then there were the rumors of his temper, and his love of seek a quarrel with my danger and adventure. No woman had greater reason to resist him than children." Satni sent for Nora Eddington: when she met him he stood accused of rape; she was inhis children. "If it is true that you desire to have volved with another man; she was a God-fearing Catholic. Yet she fell un-your pleasure of me, you der his spell, just like all the rest. Some seducers—D. H. Lawrence for will cause your children to instance—operate mostly on the mind, creating fascination, stirring up the be killed, that they may not seek a quarrel with my need to possess them. Flynn operated on the body. His cool, nonchalant children." Satni consented

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Disguise your manipulations by planting seeds that take root on their own. Reversal T he danger in insinuation is that when you leave things ambiguous your target may misread them. There are moments, particularly later on in a seduction, when it is best to communicate your idea directly, particularly once you know the target will welcome it, Casanova often played things that way. When he could sense that a woman desired him, and needed little preparation, he would use a direct, sincere, gushing comment to go straight to her head like a drug and make her fall under his spell. When the rake and writer Gabriele D'Annunzio met a woman he desired, he rarely de- layed. Flattery flowed from his mouth and pen. He would charm with his "sincerity" (sincerity can be feigned, and is just one stratagem among oth- ers). This only works, however, when you sense that the target is easily yours. If not, the defenses and suspicions you raise by direct attack will make your seduction impossible. When in doubt, indirection is the better route. Enter Their Spirit Most people are locked in their own worlds, making them stubborn and hard to persuade. The way to lure them out of their shell and set up your seduction is to enter their spirit. Play by their rules, enjoy what they enjoy, adapt yourself to their moods. In doing so you will stroke their deep-rooted narcissism and lower their defenses. Hypnotized by the mirror image you present, they will open up, becoming vulnerable to your subtle influence. Soon you can shift the dynamic: once you have entered their spirit you can make them enter yours, at a point when it is too late to turn back. Indulge your targets' every mood and whim, giving them nothing to react against or resist. The Indulgent Strategy I n October of 1961, the American journalist Cindy Adams was granted an exclusive interview with President Sukarno of Indonesia. It was a re- markable coup, for Adams was a little-known journalist at the time, while Sukarno was a world figure in the midst of a crisis. A leader of the fight for Indonesia's independence, he had been the country's president since 1949, when the Dutch finally gave up the colony. By the early 1960s, his daring foreign policy had made him hated in the United States, some calling him the Hitler of Asia. Adams decided that in the interests of a lively interview, she would not be cowed or overawed by Sukarno, and she began the conversation by jok- ing with him. To her pleasant surprise, her ice-breaking tactic seemed to work: Sukarno warmed up to her. He let the interview run well over an hour, and when it was over he loaded her with gifts.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Stars make us want to know more about them. You must learn to stir people's curiosity by letting them glimpse something in your private life, something that seems to reveal an element of your personality. Let them fantasize and imagine. A trait that often triggers this reaction is a hint of spirituality, which can be devilishly seductive, like James Dean's interest in Eastern philosophy and the occult. Hints of goodness and big-heartedness can have a similar effect. Stars are like the gods on Mount Olympus, who live for love and play. The things you love—people, hobbies, animals— reveal the kind of moral beauty that people like to see in a Star. Exploit this desire by showing people peeks of your private life, the causes you fight for, the person you are in love with (for the moment). Another way Stars seduce is by making us identify with them, giving us a vicarious thrill. This was what Kennedy did in his press conference about Truman: in positioning himself as a young man wronged by an older man, evoking an archetypal generational conflict, he made young people identify with him. (The popularity in Hollywood movies of the figure of the disaffected, wronged adolescent helped him here.) The key is to represent a The Star • 129 type, as Jimmy Stewart represented the quintessential middle-American, Cary Grant the smooth aristocrat. People of your type will gravitate to you, identify with you, share your joy or pain. The attraction must be unconscious, conveyed not in your words but in your pose, your attitude. Now more than ever, people are insecure, and their identities are in flux. Help them fix on a role to play in life and they will flock to identify with you. Simply make your type dramatic, noticeable, and easy to imitate. The power you have in influencing people's sense of self in this manner is insidious and profound. Remember: everyone is a public performer. People never know exactly what you think or feel; they judge you on your appearance. You are an actor. And the most effective actors have an inner distance: like Dietrich, they can mold their physical presence as if they perceived it from the outside. This inner distance fascinates us. Stars are playful about themselves, always adjusting their image, adapting it to the times. Nothing is more laughable than an image that was fashionable ten years ago but isn't any more. Stars must always renew their luster or face the worst possible fate: oblivion. Symbol: The Idol. A piece of stone carved into the shape of a god, perhaps glittering with gold and jewels. The eyes of the worshippers fill the stone with life, imagining it to have real powers. Its shape allows them to see what they want to see— a god— but it is actually just a piece of stone. The god lives in their imaginations. 130 • The Art of Seduction Dangers

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Adams, who was used to doing puff pieces on third-rate celebrities, was Spell out what turned you confused. She knew Sukarno had a reputation as a devilish Don Juan— le on. \ Though she may grand seducteur, the French called him. He had had four wives and hundreds show fiercer in action than any Medusa, \ Her lover of conquests. He was handsome, and obviously he was attracted to her, but will always describe her as why choose her for this prestigious task? Perhaps his libido was too power- kind \ And gentle. But ful for him to care about such things. Nevertheless, it was an offer she could take care not to give yourself away while \ not refuse. Making such tongue-in- In January of 1964, Adams returned to Indonesia. Her strategy, she had cheek compliments, don't decided, would stay the same: she would be the brassy, straight-talking lady allow \ Your expression to ruin the message. Art's who had seemed to charm Sukarno three years earlier. During her first in- most effective \ When terview with him for the book, she complained in rather strong terms concealed. Detection about the rooms she had been given as lodgings. As if he were her secre- discredits you for good. tary, she dictated a letter to him, which he was to sign, detailing the special — O V I D , THE ART OF LOVE, treatment she was to be given by one and all. To her amazement, he duti- TRANSLATED BY PETER GREEN fully copied out the letter, and signed it. Next on Adams's schedule was a tour of Indonesia to interview people who had known Sukarno in his youth. So she complained to him about the The little boy (or girl) seeks to fascinate his or her plane she had to fly on, which she said was unsafe. "I tell you what, honey," parents. In Oriental she told him, "I think you should give me my own plane." "Okay," he an- literature, imitation is 221 222 • The Art of Seduction reckoned to be one of the swered, apparently somewhat abashed. One, however, was not enough, she ways of attracting. The went on; she required several planes, and a helicopter, and her own per-Sanskrit texts, for sonal pilot, a good one. He agreed to everything. The leader of Indonesia example, give an important part to the trick of the seemed to be not just intimidated by Adams but totally under her spell. He woman copying the dress, praised her intelligence and wit. At one point he confided, "Do you know expressions, and speech of why I'm doing this biography? . . . Only because of you, that's why." He her beloved. This kind of mimetic drama is urged on paid attention to her clothes, complimenting her outfits, noticing any the woman who, "being change in them. He was more like a fawning suitor than the "Hitler of unable to unite with her Asia." beloved, imitates him to

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  mently, and the more he chases, the more he will feel that he is acting on taking them, fettered them with desire! his own initiative. This is an excellent way of disguising how deeply you —GOTTFRIED VON STRASSBURG, are manipulating him. TRISTAN, TRANSLATED BY The notion of danger, challenge, sometimes death, might seem out-A . T . HATTO dated, but danger is critical in seduction. It adds emotional spice and is particularly appealing to men today, who are normally so rational and repressed. Danger is present in the original myth of the Siren. In Homer's Odyssey, the hero Odysseus must sail by the rocks where the Sirens, strange The Siren • 13 female creatures, sing and beckon sailors to their destruction. They sing of Falling in love with statues the glories of the past, of a world like childhood, without responsibilities, a and paintings, even making love to them is an world of pure pleasure. Their voices are like water, liquid and inviting. ancient fantasy, one of Sailors would leap into the water to join them, and drown; or, distracted which the Renaissance was and entranced, they would steer their ship into the rocks. To protect his keenly aware. Giorgio sailors from the Sirens, Odysseus has their ears filled with wax; he himself is Vasari, writing in the introductory section of the tied to the mast, so he can both hear the Sirens and live to tell of it—a Lives about art in strange desire, since the thrill of the Sirens is giving in to the temptation to antiquity, tells how men follow them. violated the laws, going into the temples at night Just as the ancient sailors had to row and steer, ignoring all distractions, and making love with a man today must work and follow a straight path in life. The call of some- statues of Venus. In the thing dangerous, emotional, unknown is all the more powerful because it is morning, priests would enter the sanctuaries to find so forbidden. Think of the victims of the great Sirens of history: Paris stains on the marble causes a war for the sake of Helen of Troy, Caesar risks an empire and figures. Antony loses his power and his life for Cleopatra, Napoleon becomes a —LYNNE LAWNER, laughingstock over Josephine, DiMaggio never gets over Marilyn, and LIVES OF THE COURTESANS

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  When the Earl of Rochester, seventeenth-century England's most notorious Rake and poet, abducted Elizabeth Malet, one of the most sought-after young ladies of the court, he was duly punished. But lo and behold, a few years later young Elizabeth, though wooed by the most eligible bachelors in the country, chose Rochester to be her husband. In demonstrating his audacious desire, he made himself stand out from the crowd. Related to the Rake's extremism is the sense of danger, taboo, perhaps even the hint of cruelty about him. This was the appeal of another poet Rake, one of the greatest in history: Lord Byron. Byron disliked any kind of convention, and happily played this up. When he had an affair with his half sister, who bore a child by him, he made sure that all of England knew about it. He could be uncommonly cruel, as he was to his wife. But all of this only made him that much more desirable. Danger and taboo appeal to a repressed side in women, who are supposed to represent a civilizing, moralizing force in culture. Just as a man may fall victim to the Siren through his desire to be free of his sense of masculine responsibility, a woman may succumb to the Rake through her yearning to be free of the constraints of virtue and decency. Indeed it is often the most virtuous woman who falls most deeply in love with the Rake. Among the Rake's most seductive qualities is his ability to make women want to reform him. How many thought they would be the one to tame Lord Byron; how many of Picasso's women thought they would finally be the one with whom he would spend the rest of his life. You must exploit this tendency to the fullest. When caught red-handed in rakishness, fall back on your weakness—your desire to change, and your inability to do so. With so many women at your feet, what can you do? You are the one who is the victim. You need help. Women will jump at this opportunity; they are uncommonly indulgent of the Rake, for he is such a pleasant, dashing figure. The desire to reform him disguises the true nature of their desire, the secret thrill they get from him. When President Bill Clinton was clearly caught out as a Rake, it was women who rushed to his defense, finding every possible excuse for him. The fact that the Rake is so devoted to women, in his own strange way, makes him lovable and seductive to them. Finally, a Rake's greatest asset is his reputation. Never downplay your bad name, or seem to apologize for it. Instead, embrace it, enhance it. It is The Rake • 27

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  what draws women to you. There are several things you must be known for: your irresistible attractiveness to women; your uncontrollable devotion to pleasure (this will make you seem weak, but also exciting to be around); your disdain for convention; a rebellious streak that makes you seem dangerous. This last element can be slightly hidden; on the surface, be polite and civil, while letting it be known that behind the scenes you are incorrigible. Duke de Richelieu made his conquests as public as possible, exciting other women's competitive desire to join the club of the seduced. It was by reputation that Lord Byron attracted his willing victims. A woman may feel ambivalent about President Clinton's reputation, but beneath that ambivalence is an underlying interest. Do not leave your reputation to chance or gossip; it is your life's artwork, and you must craft it, hone it, and display it with the care of an artist. Symbol: Fire. The Rake burns with a desire that enflames the woman he is seducing. It is extreme, uncontrollable, and dangerous. The Rake may end in hell, but the flames surrounding him often make him seem that much more desirable to women. 28 • The Art of Seduction Dangers Like the Siren, the Rake faces the most danger from members of his own sex, who are far less indulgent than women are of his constant skirt chasing. In the old days, a Rake was often an aristocrat, and no matter how many people he offended or even killed, in the end he would go unpunished. Today, only stars and the very wealthy can play the Rake with impunity; the rest of us need to be careful. Elvis Presley had been a shy young man. Attaining early stardom, and seeing the power it gave him over women, he went berserk, becoming a Rake almost overnight. Like many Rakes, Elvis had a predilection for women who were already taken. He found himself cornered by an angry husband or boyfriend on numerous occasions, and came away with a few cuts and bruises. This might seem to suggest that you should step lightly around husbands and boyfriends, especially early on in your career. But the charm of the Rake is that such dangers don't matter to them. You cannot be a Rake by being fearful and prudent; the occasional pummeling is part of the game. Later on, in any case, at the height of Elvis's fame, no husband would dare touch him.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  The real world can be unforgiving: events occur over which we have little control, other people ignore our feelings in their quests to get what they need, time runs out before we accomplish what we had wanted. If we ever stopped to look at the present and future in a completely objective way, we would despair. Fortunately we develop the habit of dreaming early on. In this other, mental world that we inhabit, the future is full of rosy possibilities. Perhaps tomorrow we will sell that brilliant idea, or meet the person who will change our lives. Our culture stimulates these fantasies with constant images and stories of marvelous occurrences and happy romances. The problem is, these images and fantasies exist only in our minds, or on-screen. They really aren't enough—we crave the real thing, not this endless daydreaming and titillation. Your task as a seducer is to bring some flesh and blood into someone's fantasy life by embodying a fantasy figure, or creating a scenario resembling that person's dreams. No one can resist the pull of a secret desire that has come to life before their eyes. You must first choose targets who have some repression or dream unrealized—always the most likely victims of a seduction. Slowly and gradually, you will build up the illusion that they are getting to see and feel and live those dreams of theirs. Once they have this sensation they will lose contact with reality, and begin to see your fantasy as more real than anything else. And once they 304 • The Art of Seduction lose touch with reality, they are (to quote Stendhal on Lord Byron's female victims) like roasted larks that fall into your mouth.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  It's not your wife's beauty, but your own \ Passion for her that gets us—she must \ Have something, just to have hooked you. A girl locked up by her \ Husband's not chaste but pursued, her fear's \ A bigger draw than her figure. Illicit passion— like it \ Or not—is sweeter. It only turns me on \ When the girl says, "I'm frightened." —OVID, THE AMORES, TRANSLATED BY PETER GREEN It is often not possible for [women] later on to undo the connection thus formed in their minds between sensual activities and something forbidden, and they turn out to be psychically impotent, i.e. frigid, when at last such activities do become permissible. This is the source of the desire in so many women to keep even legitimate relations secret for a time; and of the appearance of the capacity for normal sensation in others as soon as the condition of prohibition is restored by a secret intrigue—untrue to the husband, they can keep a second order of faith with the lover. • In my opinion the necessary condition of forbiddenness in the erotic life of women holds the same place as the man's Stir Up the Transgressive and Taboo • 353 confessing it. Indeed he delighted in their shocked responses, and his long narrative poem, The Bride of Abydos, takes brother-sister incest as its theme. Rumors began to spread of Byron's relations with Augusta, who was now pregnant with his child. Polite society shunned him—but women were more drawn to him than before, and his books were more popular than ever. Annabella Milbanke, Lady Caroline Lamb's cousin, had met Byron in those first months of 1812 when he was the toast of London. Annabella was sober and down to earth, and her interests were science and religion. But there was something about Byron that attracted her. And the feeling seemed to be returned: not only did the two become friends, to her bewil- derment he showed another kind of interest in her, even at one point proposing marriage. This was in the midst of the scandal over Byron and Caroline Lamb, and Annabella did not take the proposal seriously. Over the next few months she followed his career from a distance, and heard the troubling rumors of incest. Yet in 1813, she wrote her aunt, "I consider his acquaintance as so desirable that I would incur the risk of being called a Flirt for the sake of enjoying it." Reading his new poems, she wrote that his "description of Love almost makes me in love." She was developing an ob- session with Byron, of which word soon reached him. They renewed their friendship, and in 1814 he proposed again; this time she accepted. Byron was a fallen angel and she would be the one to reform him. It did not turn out that way.

• From Bright Lights, Big City (1984)

  analysis. Megan has functional blond maple shelves with a little bit of everything in them. The shelves themselves are just untidy enough to suggest actual use and just neat enough to indicate respect for the equipment. The books are organized according to broad categories: a shelf of poetry, a cluster of oversized art books, a long row of livre de poche French novels, music and opera books, scores of thin Samuel French drama scripts, and half a shelf of memoirs of life at the magazine. The latter is an entire genre. You pull out Franklin Woolcraft’s chatty volume, Man about Town; the flyleaf is signed: “To Meg, who keeps me honest, with Love.” Putting the book back, you catch sight of a spine that reads Exercise for Better Sex. Megan returns with two glasses of red wine. “Give me a minute to change,” she says. “Then I’m going to teach you how to make the world’s easiest meal.” Megan goes over to the freestanding wardrobe beside the bed. Where is she going to change? Just how casual are we here? As she digs through the wardrobe, you can’t help noticing that she has a terrific ass. You have worked with her for almost two years without noticing her ass. How old is she anyway? She removes something from a hanger and tells you she’ll be right back. She goes into the bathroom. The Siamese massages its head on your shin. Exercise for Better Sex. Megan comes out wearing a maroon silk shirt with puffed sleeves which is not open to immediate interpretation. One less button buttoned might mean sexy, but what you see suggests casually dressy. “Sit down,” Megan says, gesturing toward the couch. You both sit. “I like your place,” you say. “It’s small, but I can’t afford to move.” You hope the conversation improves. A few minutes ago you were colleagues headed out for a bite to eat. Now you are a man and a woman alone in a room with a bed. One of the photographs on the end table beside the couch is a large glossy of a younger-looking Megan onstage with two men. “That was my last play. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? in Bridgeport, Connecticut.”

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  this sudden flood of caresses, all her resistance gave way. "From this mo-keeps up an appearance of ment on I am yours," she said, "and you will hear neither refusals nor retaking by storm even that which we are quite grets from my lips." Tourvel was true to her word, and Valmont's suspicions prepared to surrender; and were to prove correct: the pleasures he won from her were far greater than adroitly flatters our two with any other woman he had seduced. favorite passions— the pride of defense and the pleasure of defeat. — M A R Q U I S E DE MERTEUIL IN Interpretation. Valmont—a character in Choderlos de Laclos's eighteenth-CHODERLOS DE LACLOS, century novel Dangerous Liaisons—can sense several things about the Prési-D A N G E R O U S LIAISONS, dente at first glance. She is timid and nervous. Her husband almost TRANSLATED BY P.W.K. STONE IN M I C H E L FEHER, ED., certainly treats her with respect—probably too much of it. Beneath her in-THE LIBERTINE READER terest in God, religion, and virtue is a passionate woman, vulnerable to the lure of a romance and to the flattering attention of an ardent suitor. No one, not even her husband, has given her this feeling, because they have all What sensible man will been so daunted by her prudish exterior. not intersperse his coaxing \ With kisses? Even if she Valmont begins his seduction, then, by being indirect. He knows doesn't kiss back, \ Still Tourvel is secretly fascinated with his bad reputation. By acting as if he is force on regardless! She contemplating a change in his life, he can make her want to reform him—a may struggle, cry desire that is unconsciously a desire to love him. Once she has opened up "Naughty!" \ Yet she wants to be overcome. Just ever so slightly to his influence, he strikes at her vanity: she has never felt Master the Art of the Bold Move • 409 desired as a woman, and on some level cannot help but enjoy his love for take care \ Not to bruise her. Of course she struggles and resists, but that is only a sign that her emo- her tender lips with such hard-snatched kisses, \ tions are engaged. (Indifference is the single most effective deterrent to Don't give her a chance to seduction.) By taking his time, by making no bold moves even when he has protest \ You're too rough. the opportunity for them, he instills in her a false sense of security and Those who grab their kisses, but not what

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  magic, many times worse Society and culture are based on limits—this kind of behavior is acceptable, that is not. The limits are fluid and change with time, but there are always limits. The alternative is anarchy, the lawlessness of nature, which we than before; their need for one another was more dread. But we are strange animals: the moment any kind of limit is im- Stir Up the Transgressive and Taboo • 355 posed, physically or psychologically, we are instantly curious. A part of us painful and urgent than it wants to go beyond that limit, to explore what is forbidden. had ever been. • . . . Women do lots of things If, as children, we are told not to go past a certain point in the woods, just because they are that is precisely where we want to go. But we grow older, and become po- forbidden, which they lite and deferential; more and more boundaries encumber our lives. Do not would certainly not do if they were not confuse politeness with happiness, however. It covers up frustration, un- forbidden. . . . Our Lord wanted compromise. How can we explore the shadow side of our person-God gave Eve the freedom ality without incurring punishment or ostracism? It seeps out in our to do what she would with dreams. We sometimes wake up with a sense of guilt at the murder, incest, all the fruits, flowers, and plants there were in adultery, and mayhem that goes on in our dreams, until we realize no one Paradise, except for only needs to know about it but ourselves. But give a person the sense that with one, which he forbade you they will have a chance to explore the outer reaches of acceptable, po- her to touch on pain of death. . . . She look the lite behavior, that with you they can vent some of their closeted person- fruit and broke God's ality, and you create the ingredients for a deep and powerful seduction. commandment . . . but it You will have to go beyond the point of merely teasing them with an is my firm belief now that Eve would never have done elusive fantasy. The shock and seductive power will come from the reality this, if she had not been of what you are offering them. Like Byron, at a certain point you can even forbidden to. press it further than they may want to go. If they have followed you merely —GOTTFRIED VON STRASSBURG, out of curiosity, they may feel some fear and hesitation, but once they are TRISTAN UND ISOLDE, QUOTED hooked, they will fond you hard to resist, for it is hard to return to a limit IN ANDREA HOPKINS, THE BOOK OF COURTLY LOVE once you have transgressed and gone past it. The human cries out for more, and does not know when to stop. You will determine for them when it is time to stop. One of Monsieur Leopold