Desire

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  to his character. He replied by writing that he had changed. He did not say Olympus \ Gold-throned how or why, but the implication was that it was because of her. Hera saw her brother, \ Now his letters came almost daily. They were mostly of the same Who was her husband's brother too, \ Busy on the length, in a poetic style that had a touch of madness to it, as if he were in-fields of human glory, \ toxicated with love. He talked of Greek myth, comparing Cordelia to a And her heart sang. Then nymph and himself to a river that fell in love with a maiden. His soul, he she saw Zeus \ Sitting on the topmost peak of Ida \ said, merely reflected back her image; she was all he could see or think of. And was filled with Meanwhile he detected changes in Cordelia: her letters became more po-resentment. Cow-eyed etic, less restrained. Without realizing it she repeated his ideas, imitating his Hera \ Mused for a while on how to trick \ The mind style and his imagery as if they were her own. Also, when they saw each of Zeus Aegis-holder, \ other in person, she was nervous. He made a point of remaining the same, And the plan that seemed aloof and regal, but he could tell that she saw him differently, sensing best to her \ Was to make depths in him that she could not fathom. In public she hung on his every herself up and go to Ida, \ Seduce him, and then shed word. She must have memorized his letters, for she referred to them con-on his eyelids \ And stantly in their talks. It was a secret life they shared. When she held his cunning mind a sleep hand, she did so more tightly than before. Her eyes expressed an impa-gentle and warm. . . . \ When everything was tience, as if she were hoping that at any moment he would do something perfect, she stepped \ Out bold. of her room and called Johannes made his letters shorter but more numerous, sometimes Aphrodite \ And had a word with her in private: \ sending several in one day. The imagery became more physical and more "My dear child, will you suggestive, the style more disjointed, as if he could barely organize his do something for me, \ I thoughts. Sometimes he sent a note of just a sentence or two. Once, at a wonder, or will you refuse, party at Cordelia's house, he dropped such a note into her knitting basket angry because \ I favor the Greeks and you the and watched as she ran away to read it, her face flushed. In her letters he Trojans?" \ And Zeus' saw signs of emotion and turmoil. Echoing a sentiment he had hinted at in daughter Aphrodite an earlier letter, she wrote that she hated the whole engagement business— replied: \ "Goddess revered

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  tion about him? Why is he alone, why is he avoided? There has to be a enrolled in the same list, reason. Until someone takes pity on this man and starts up a conversation and of being praised in the 200 • The Art of Seduction same way, in the presence with him, he will look unwanted and unwantable. But over there, in an-of your other female other corner, is a woman surrounded by people. They laugh at her remarks, friends. This will greatly and as they laugh, others join the group, attracted by its gaiety. When she delight her, and you need not be surprised if she moves around, people follow. Her face is glowing with attention. There has testifies her admiration of to be a reason. your character by throwing In both cases, of course, there doesn't actually have to be a reason at her arms around your neck on the spot. all. The neglected man may have quite charming qualities, supposing you ever talk to him; but most likely you won't. Desirability is a social illu- — L O L A M O N T E Z , THE ARTS AND SECRETS OF BEAUTY, WITH sion. Its source is less what you say or do, or any kind of boasting or self-H I N T S TO GENTLEMEN ON THE advertisement, than the sense that other people desire you. To turn your ART OF FASCINATING targets' interest into something deeper, into desire, you must make them see you as a person whom others cherish and covet. Desire is both imitative (we like what others like) and competitive (we want to take away from oth- [ René] Girard's mimetic ers what they have). As children, we wanted to monopolize the attention of desire occurs when an individual subject desires a parent, to draw it away from other siblings. This sense of rivalry pervades an object because it is human desire, repeating throughout our lives. Make people compete for desired by another subject, your attention, make them see you as sought after by everyone else. The here designated as the rival: desire is modeled on aura of desirability will envelop you. the wishes or actions of Your admirers can be friends or even suitors. Call it the harem effect. another. Philippe Lacoue- Pauline Bonaparte, sister of Napoleon, raised her value in men's eyes by al-Labarthe says that "the basic hypothesis upon ways having a group of worshipful men around her at balls and parties. If which rests Girard's famous she went for a walk, it was never with one man, always with two or three. analysis [ is that] every Perhaps these men were simply friends, or even just props and hangers-on; desire is the desire of the the sight of them was enough to suggest that she was prized and desired, a other (and not immediately desire of an object), every woman worth fighting over. Andy Warhol, too, surrounded himself with structure of desire is

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Arthur Miller can't write for years. A man is often ruined by a Siren, yet cannot tear himself away. (Many powerful men have a masochistic streak.) An element of danger is easy to hint at, and will enhance your other Siren characteristics—the touch of madness in Marilyn, for example, that pulled men in. Sirens are often fantastically irrational, which is immensely attractive to men who are oppressed by their own reasonableness. An element of fear is also critical: keeping a man at a proper distance creates respect, so that he doesn't get close enough to see through you or notice your weaker qualities. Create such fear by suddenly changing your moods, keeping the man off balance, occasionally intimidating him with capricious behavior. The most important element for an aspiring Siren is always the physical, the Siren's main instrument of power. Physical qualities—a scent, a heightened femininity evoked through makeup or through elaborate or seductive clothing—act all the more powerfully on men because they have no meaning. In their immediacy they bypass rational processes, having the same effect that a decoy has on an animal, or the movement of a cape on a bull. The proper Siren appearance is often confused with physical beauty, particularly the face. But a beautiful face does not a Siren make: instead it creates too much distance and coldness. (Neither Cleopatra nor Marilyn Monroe, the two greatest Sirens in history, were known for their beautiful faces.) Although a smile and an inviting look are infinitely seductive, they must never dominate your appearance. They are too obvious and direct. The Siren must stimulate a generalized desire, and the best way to do this is by creating an overall impression that is both distracting and alluring. It is not one particular trait, but a combination of qualities: The voice. Clearly a critical quality, as the legend indicates, the Siren's voice has an immediate animal presence with incredible suggestive power. Perhaps that power is regressive, recalling the ability of the mother's voice 14 • The Art of Seduction to calm or excite her child even before the child understood what she was saying. The Siren must have an insinuating voice that hints at the erotic, more often subliminally than overtly. Almost everyone who met Cleopatra commented on her delightful, sweet-sounding voice, which had a mesmerizing quality. The Empress Josephine, one of the great seductresses of the late eighteenth century, had a languorous voice that men found exotic, and suggestive of her Creole origins. Marilyn Monroe was born with her breathy, childlike voice, but she learned to lower to make it truly seductive. Lauren Bacall's voice is naturally low; its seductive power comes from its slow, suggestive delivery. The Siren never speaks quickly, aggressively, or at a high pitch. Her voice is calm and unhurried, as if she had never quite woken up—or left her bed.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Now she was silent. She picked up a stocking and started to darn it, ignoring him; his eyes followed her every move, particularly the way she rubbed her bare knee. Finally he brought up Lohmann again, and the police. "You've no idea what this life's like," she said. "Everyone who comes here thinks he's the only pebble on the beach. If you don't give them what they want they threaten you with the police!" "I certainly regret having hurt a lady's feelings," he replied sheepishly. As she got up from her chair, their knees rubbed, and he felt a shiver up his spine. Now she was nice to him again, and poured him some more wine. She invited him to come back, then left abruptly to perform another number. 342 • The Art of Seduction The next day he kept thinking about her words, her looks. Thinking about her while he was teaching gave him a kind of naughty thrill. That night he went back to the club, still determined to catch Lohmann in the act, and once again found himself in Rosa's dressing room, drinking wine and becoming strangely passive. She asked him to help her get dressed; that seemed quite an honor and he obliged her. Helping her with her corset and her makeup, he forgot about Lohmann. He felt he was being initiated into some new world. She pinched his cheeks and stroked his chin, and occasionally let him glimpse her bare leg as she rolled up a stocking. Now Professor Mut showed up night after night, helping her dress, watching her perform, all with a strange kind of pride. He was there so often that Lohmann and his friends no longer showed up. He had taken their place—he was the one to bring her flowers, pay for her champagne, the one to serve her. Yes, an old man like himself had bested the youthful Lohmann, who thought himself so suave! He liked it when she stroked his chin, complimented him for doing things right, but he felt even more excited when she rebuked him, throwing a powder puff in his face or pushing him off a chair. It meant she liked him. And so, gradually, he began to pay for all her caprices. It cost him a pretty penny but kept her away from other men. Eventually he proposed to her. They married, and scandal ensued: he lost his job, and soon all his money; finally he landed in prison. To the very end, however, he could never get angry with Rosa. Instead he felt guilty: he had never done enough for her.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Find that weakness of theirs, that fantasy that has yet to be real- ized, and hint that you can lead them toward it. It could be wealth, it could be adventure, it could be forbidden and guilty pleasures; the key is to keep it vague. Dangle the prize before their eyes, postponing satisfaction, and let their minds do the rest. The future seems ripe with possi- bility. Stimulate a curiosity stronger than the doubts and anxieties that go with it, and they will follow you. The Tantalizing Object S ome time in the 1880s, a gentleman named Don Juan de Todellas was wandering through a park in Madrid when he saw a woman in her early twenties getting out of a coach, followed by a two-year-old child and a nursemaid. The young woman was elegantly dressed, but what took Don Juan's breath away was her resemblance to a woman he had known nearly three years before. Surely she could not be the same person. The woman he had known, Cristeta Moreruela, was a showgirl in a second-rate theater. She had been an orphan and was quite poor—her circumstances could not have changed that much. He moved closer: the same beautiful face. And then he heard her voice. He was so shocked that he had to sit down: it was indeed the same woman. Don Juan was an incorrigible seducer, whose conquests were innu- merable and of every variety. But he remembered his affair with Cristeta quite clearly, because she had been so young—the most charming girl he had ever met. He had seen her in the theater, had courted her assiduously, and had managed to persuade her to take a trip with him to a seaside town. Although they had separate rooms, nothing could stop Don Juan: he made up a story about business troubles, gained her sympathy, and in a tender moment took advantage of her weakness. A few days later he left her, on the pretext that he had to attend to business. He believed he would never see her again. Feeling a little guilty—a rare occurrence with him—he sent her 5,000 pesetas, pretending he would eventually rejoin her. Instead he went to Paris. He had only recently returned to Madrid. As he sat and remembered all this, an idea troubled him: the child. Could the boy possibly be his? If not, she must have married almost imme- diately after their affair. How could she do such a thing? She was obviously wealthy now. Who could her husband be? Did he know her past? Mixed with his confusion was intense desire. She was so young and beautiful. Why had he given her up so easily?

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  It is pointless to try to argue against such power, to imagine that you are thenceforth to count among not interested in it, or that it is evil and ugly. The harder you try to resist the most tremendous of the world's forces and at the lure of seduction—as an idea, as a form of power—the more you will moments to have power find yourself fascinated. The reason is simple: most of us have known the even over life and death. . . . power of having someone fall in love with us. Our actions, gestures, the • The deliberate spellbinding of man's senses things we say, all have positive effects on this person; we may not com- was to have a magical effect pletely understand what we have done right, but this feeling of power is in- upon him, opening up an toxicating. It gives us confidence, which makes us more seductive. We may infinitely wider range of also experience this in a social or work setting—one day we are in an ele- sensation and spurring him on as if impelled by an vated mood and people seem more responsive, more charmed by us. These inspired dream. moments of power are fleeting, but they resonate in the memory with —ALEXANDER VON GLEICHEN-great intensity. We want them back. Nobody likes to feel awkward or timid RUSSWURM, THE WORLD'S or unable to reach people. The siren call of seduction is irresistible because LURE, TRANSLATED BY HANNAH WALLER power is irresistible, and nothing will bring you more power in the modern world than the ability to seduce. Repressing the desire to seduce is a kind of xxii • Preface The first thing to get in hysterical reaction, revealing your deep-down fascination with the process; your head is that every you are only making your desires stronger. Some day they will come to the single \ Girl can be surface. caught—a nd that you'll catch her if \ You set your To have such power does not require a total transformation in your toils right. Birds will character or any kind of physical improvement in your looks. Seduction is a sooner fall dumb in \ game of psychology, not beauty, and it is within the grasp of any person to Springtime, \ Cicadas in summer, or a hunting-dog \ become a master at the game. All that is required is that you look at the Turn his back on a hare, world differently, through the eyes of a seducer. than a lover's bland A seducer does not turn the power off and on—every social and per-inducements \ Can fail sonal interaction is seen as a potential seduction. There is never a moment with a woman, Even one you suppose \ Reluctant to waste. This is so for several reasons. The power seducers have over a man will want it. or woman works in social environments because they have learned how to —OVID, THE ART OF LOVE,

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Lursay knew full well that she was the source of the young man's awkward- a-fire, that she had ness, but she was a tease; you must tell me, she said, with whom you are in longings to taste other fare love. Finally Meilcour confessed: it was indeed Madame whom he desired. than the muscatels that hung on the trellis, as also His mother's friend advised him to not think of her that way, but she also by her hot, wanton, and sighed, and gave him a long and languid look. Her words said one thing, wild speech, he did her eyes another—perhaps she was not as untouchable as he had thought. promptly seize on so fair an opportunity. So catching As the evening ended, though, Madame de Lursay said she doubted his hold of her without the feelings would last, and she left young Meilcour troubled that she had said least ceremony, he did lay nothing about reciprocating his love. her on a little couch that was there made of turf and Over the next few days, Meilcour repeatedly asked de Lursay to declare clods of earth, and did very her love for him, and she repeatedly refused. Eventually the young man de- pleasantly work his will of cided his cause was hopeless, and gave up; but a few nights later, at a soiree her, without her ever at her house, her dress seemed more enticing than usual, and her looks at uttering a word but only: "Heavens! Sir, what are him stirred his blood. He returned them, and followed her around, while you at? Surely you be the she took care to keep a bit of distance, lest others sense what was happen- maddest and strangest ing. Yet she also managed to arrange that he could stay without arousing fellow ever was! If anyone comes, whatever will they suspicion when the other visitors left. say? Great heavens! get When they were finally alone, she made him sit beside her on the sofa. out!" But the gentleman, He could barely speak; the silence was uncomfortable. To get him talking without disturbing himself, did so well continue what she raised the same old subject: his youth would make his love for her a he had begun that he did passing fancy. Instead of denying it he looked dejected, and continued to finish, and she to boot, keep a polite distance, so that she finally exclaimed, with obvious irony, "If with such content as that after taking three or four it were known that you were here with my consent, that I had voluntarily turns up and down the arranged it with you . . . what might not people say? And yet how wrong alley, they did presently they would be, for no one could be more respectful than you are." Goaded start afresh. Anon, coming into action, Meilcour grabbed her hand and looked her in the eye. She forth into another, open, alley, they did see in

• From Detransition, Baby (2021)

  Reese swivels on the bench to face both Ames and Katrina, nearly trembling, a runner taking her mark. “I can tell you exactly why I want to be a mom,” Reese says. “So that when I have and love a child, no one ever asks me that question again.” “What question?” Katrina asks. “Why do you want to be a mom?” “Yeah.” “How would being a mom make no one ask you that?” “Because that’s not the question that cis women have to answer. The moms I knew when I was little didn’t have to prove that it was okay to want a child. Sure, a lot of women I know wonder if they do want a child, but not why. It’s assumed why. The question cis women get asked is: Why don’t you want kids? And then they have to justify that. If I had been born cis, I would never even have had to answer these questions. I wouldn’t have had to prove that I deserve my models of womanhood. But I’m not cis. ’m trans. And so until the day that I am a mother, I’m constantly going to have to prove that I deserve to be one. That it’s not unnatural or twisted that I want a child’s love. Why do I want to be a mother? After all those beautiful women I grew up with, the ones who chaperoned my classes on field trips, or made me lunch when I was at their house, or sewed costumes for all the little girls that I ice skated with—and you too, Katrina, for that matter—have to explain their feelings about motherhood, then, Ill explain mine. And do you know what I'll say?” “No, what?” “Ditto.” Katrina listens, her face blank, braced as if facing into a wind. “I don’t know, Reese. It doesn’t sound like you’re talking about all women, it just sounds like a certain kind of woman. Like, women now, here in this country—white women,” she says when Reese finishes. “When my grandma arrived here from China, she wasn’t encouraged to have kids. The opposite. She had to justify the basic desire to reproduce.” “Fine, cis white women,” Reese concedes. “But you say that like ’'m being annoying,” Katrina says, catching some aural cue from Reese. “I don’t think I am. If you want to talk about this in terms of reproductive rights, it might be that you and I come from pretty different places. All my white girlfriends just automatically assume that reproductive rights are about the right to

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  draw this fetishistic attention, the strongest is the face; so learn to tune your gilded for the occasion, had face like an instrument, making it radiate a fascinating vagueness for effect. fallen at the altar as the And since you will have to stand out from other Stars in the sky, you will axe struck their snowy need to develop an attention-getting style. Dietrich was the great practi- necks. Smoke was rising from the incense, when tioner of this art; her style was chic enough to dazzle, weird enough to en- Pygmalion, having made thrall. Remember, your own image and presence are materials you can his offering, stood by the control. The sense that you are engaged in this kind of play will make peo- altar and timidly prayed, saying: "If you gods can ple see you as superior and worthy of imitation. give all things, may I have as my wife, I pray—" he She had such natural poise . . . such an economy of ges-did not dare to say: "the ture, that she became as absorbing as a Modigliani. . . . ivory maiden," but finished: "one like the She had the one essential star quality: she could be mag-ivory maid." However, nificent doing nothing. golden Venus, present at her festival in person, — B E R L I N A C T R E S S L I L I DARVAS O N M A R L E N E D I E T R I C H understood what his prayers meant, and as a sign that the gods were The Mythic Star kindly disposed, the flames burned up three times, shooting a tongue of fire On July 2, 1960, a few weeks before that year's Democratic National into the air. When Convention, former President Harry Truman publicly stated that Pygmalion returned home, he made straight for the John F. Kennedy—who had won enough delegates to be chosen his party's statue of the girl he loved, candidate for the presidency—was too young and inexperienced for the leaned over the couch, and job. Kennedy's response was startling: he called a press conference, to be kissed her. She seemed warm: he laid his lips on televised live, and nationwide, on July 4. The conference's drama was hers again, and touched her heightened by the fact that he was away on vacation, so that no one saw or breast with his hands— at heard from him until the event itself. Then, at the appointed hour, his touch the ivory lost its Kennedy strode into the conference room like a sheriff entering Dodge hardness, and grew soft. City. He began by stating that he had run in all of the state primaries, at —OVID, METAMORPHOSES, T R A N S L A T E D B Y M A R Y M . I N N E S

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  At least one of the chapters should strike a chord—you will recognize part of yourself. That chapter will be the key to developing your own powers of attraction. Let us say you have coquettish tendencies. The Coquette chapter will show you how to build upon your own self-sufficiency, alternating heat and coldness to ensnare your victims. It will show you how to take your natural qualities further, becoming a grand Coquette, the type we fight over. There is no point in being timid with a seductive quality. We are charmed by an unabashed Rake and excuse his excesses, but a halfhearted Rake gets no respect. Once you have cultivated your dominant character trait, adding some art to what nature has given you, you can then develop a second or third trait, adding depth and mystery to your persona. Finally the section's tenth chapter, on the Anti-Seducer, will make you aware of the op-3 4 • The Art of Seduction posite potential within you—the power of repulsion. At all cost you must root out any anti-seductive tendencies you may have. Think of the nine types as shadows, silhouettes. Only by stepping into one of them and letting it grow inside you can you begin to develop the seductive character that will bring you limitless power. A man is often secretly oppressed by the role he has to play— by always having to be responsible, in control, and rational. The Siren is the ulti- mate male fantasy figure because she offers a total release from the limitations of his life. In her pres- ence, which is always heightened and sexually charged, the male feels transported to a world of pure plea- sure. She is dangerous, and in pursu- ing her energetically the man can lose control over himself something he yearns to do. The Siren is a mirage; she lures men by cultivating a par- ticular appearance and manner. In a world where women are often too timid to project such an image, learn to take control of the male li- bido by embodying his fantasy. The Spectacular Siren In the year 48 B.C., Ptolemy XIV of Egypt managed to depose and exile his sister and wife, Queen Cleopatra. He secured the country's borders against her return and began to rule on his own. Later that year, Julius Caesar came to Alexandria to ensure that despite the local power struggles, Egypt would remain loyal to Rome. One night Caesar was meeting with his generals in the Egyptian palace, In the mean time our good discussing strategy, when a guard entered to report that a Greek merchant ship, with that perfect wind was at the door bearing a large and valuable gift for the Roman leader. to drive her, fast approached the Sirens' Isle.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Her masculinity made the relationship seem vaguely homosexual; her slightly cruel, slightly domi- neering streak could stir up masochistic yearnings, as it did in Nietzsche. Salomé radiated a forbidden sexuality. Her powerful effect on men—the lifelong infatuations, the suicides (there were several), the periods of intense creativity, the descriptions of her as a vampire or a devil—attest to the ob- scure depths of the psyche that she was able to reach and disturb. The Masculine Dandy succeeds by reversing the normal pattern of male superiority in matters of love and seduction. A man's apparent inde- pendence, his capacity for detachment, often seems to give him the upper hand in the dynamic between men and women. A purely feminine woman will arouse desire, but is always vulnerable to the man's capricious loss of interest; a purely masculine woman, on the other hand, will not arouse that interest at all. Follow the path of the Masculine Dandy, however, and you neutralize all a man's powers. Never give completely of yourself; while you are passionate and sexual, always retain an air of independence and self- possession. You might move on to the next man, or so he will think. You have other, more important matters to concern yourself with, such as your work. Men do not know how to fight women who use their own weapons against them; they are intrigued, aroused, and disarmed. Few men can resist the taboo pleasures offered up to them by the Masculine Dandy. ancestral device, but with the figure of Eros armed with a thunderbolt. The leading men of Athens watched all this with disgust and indignation and they were deeply disturbed by his contemptuous and lawless behaviour, which seemed to them monstrous and suggested the habits of a tyrant. The people's feelings towards him have been very aptly expressed by Aristophanes in the line: "They long for him, they hate him, they cannot do without him. . . ." • The fact was that his voluntary donations, the public shows he supported, his unrivalled munificence to the state, the fame of his ancestry, the power of his oratory and his physical strength and beauty . . . all combined to make the Athenians forgive him everything else, and they were constantly finding euphemisms for his lapses and putting them down to youthful high spirits and honourable ambition. —PLUTARCH,"THE LIFE OF ALCIBIADES," THE RISE AND FALL OF ATHENS: NINE GREEK LIVES, TRANSLATED BY IAN SCOTT-KILVERT Further light—a whole flood of it—is thrown upon this attraction of the male in petticoats for the female, in the diary of the Abbé de Choisy, one of the most brilliant men- women of history, of whom we shall hear a great deal more later. The abbé, a churchman of Paris, was a constant masquerader in female attire. He lived in the days of Louis XIV, and was a great friend of Louis' brother, also addicted to women's clothes.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  tone down the sexual element without getting rid of it. We may think we TRANSLATED BY PETER GREEN see through them, but they are so pleasant to be around anyway that it does not matter. Trying to divide your life into moments in which you seduce and others in which you hold back will only confuse and constrain you. The combination of these Erotic desire and love lurk beneath the surface of almost every human en-two elements, enchantment and surrender, is, then, counter; better to give free rein to your skills than to try to use them only essential to the love which in the bedroom. (In fact, the seducer sees the world as his or her bedroom.) we are discussing. . . . This attitude creates great seductive momentum, and with each seduction What exists in love is you gain experience and practice. One social or sexual seduction makes the surrender due to enchantment. next one easier, your confidence growing and making you more alluring. —JOSÉ ORTEGA Y GASSET, ON People are drawn to you in greater numbers as the seducer's aura descends LOVE, TRANSLATED BY TOBY upon you. TALBOT Seducers have a warrior's outlook on life. They see each person as a kind of walled castle to which they are laying siege. Seduction is a process of penetration: initially penetrating the target's mind, their first point of What is good? — All that defense. Once seducers have penetrated the mind, making the target fanta-heightens the feeling of power, the will to power, size about them, it is easy to lower resistance and create physical surrender. power itself in man. • Seducers do not improvise; they do not leave this process to chance. Like What is b a d ? — A l l that any good general, they plan and strategize, aiming at the target's particular proceeds from weakness. • weaknesses. What is happiness? — The feeling that power The main obstacle to becoming a seducer is this foolish prejudice we increases— that a resistance have of seeing love and romance as some kind of sacred, magical realm is overcome. where things just fall into place, if they are meant to. This might seem ro- — F R I E D R I C H NIETZSCHE, THE mantic and quaint, but it is really just a cover for our laziness. What will se-ANTI—CHRIST, TRANSLATED BY R. J. HOLLINGDALE

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Somehow, even if she was married, he had to get her back. Don Juan began to frequent the park every day. He saw her a few more times; their eyes met, but she pretended not to notice him. Tracing the nursemaid during one of her errands, he struck up a conversation with her, and asked her about her mistress's husband. She told him the man's name was Señor Martínez, and that he was away on an extended business trip; she also told him where Cristeta now lived. Don Juan gave her a note to give to For these two crimes Tantalus was punished with the ruin of his kingdom and, after his death by Zeus's own hand, with eternal torment in the company of Ixion, Sisyphus, Tityus, the Danaids, and others. Now he hangs, perennially consumed by thirst and hunger, from the bough of a fruit tree which leans over a marshy lake. Its waves lap against his waist, and sometimes reach his chin, yet whenever he bends down to drink, they slip away, and nothing remains but the black mud at his feet; or, if he ever succeeds in scooping up a handful of water, it slips through his fingers before he can do more than wet his cracked lips, leaving him thirstier than ever. The tree is laden with pears, shining apples, sweet figs, ripe olives and pomegranates, which dangle against his shoulders; but whenever he reaches for the luscious fruit, a gust of wind whirls them out of his reach. —ROBERT GRAVES, THE GREEK MYTHS, VOLUME 2 231 232 • The Art of Seduction her mistress. Then he strolled by Cristeta's house—a beautiful palace. His worst suspicions were confirmed: she had married for money. Cristeta refused to see him. He persisted, sending more notes. Finally, to avoid a scene, she agreed to meet him, just once, in the park. He pre- pared for the meeting carefully: seducing her again would be a delicate op- eration. But when he saw her coming toward him, in her beautiful clothes, his emotions, and his lust, got the better of him. She could only belong to him, never to another man, he told her. Cristeta took offense at this; obvi- ously her present circumstances prevented even one more meeting. Still, beneath her coolness he could sense strong emotions. He begged to see her again, but she left without promising anything. He sent her more letters, meanwhile wracking his brains trying to piece it all together: Who was this Señor Martínez? Why would he marry a showgirl? How could Cristeta be wrested away from him? Finally Cristeta agreed to meet Don Juan one more time, in the theater, where he dared not risk a scandal.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Once, at a party at Cordelia's house, he dropped such a note into her knitting basket and watched as she ran away to read it, her face flushed. In her letters he saw signs of emotion and turmoil. Echoing a sentiment he had hinted at in an earlier letter, she wrote that she hated the whole engagement business— it was so beneath their love. Everything was ready. Soon she would be his, the way he wanted it. She would break off the engagement. A rendezvous in the country would be simple to arrange—in fact she would be the one to propose it. This would be his most skillful seduction. Interpretation. Johannes and Cordelia are characters in the loosely auto- biographical novel The Seducer's Diary (1843), by the Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard. Johannes is a most experienced seducer, who specializes in working on his victim's mind. This is precisely where Cordelia's previous Therefore, the person who is unable to write letters and notes never becomes a dangerous seducer. —SØREN KIERKEGAARD, EITHER/OR, TRANSLATED BY HOWARD V. HONG AND EDNA H. HONG Standing on a crag of Olympus \ Gold-throned Hera saw her brother, \ Who was her husband's brother too, \ Busy on the fields of human glory, \ And her heart sang. Then she saw Zeus \ Sitting on the topmost peak of Ida \ And was filled with resentment. Cow-eyed Hera \ Mused for a while on how to trick \ The mind of Zeus Aegis-holder, \ And the plan that seemed best to her \ Was to make herself up and go to Ida, \ Seduce him, and then shed on his eyelids \ And cunning mind a sleep gentle and warm. . . . \ When everything was perfect, she stepped \ Out of her room and called Aphrodite \ And had a word with her in private: \ "My dear child, will you do something for me, \ I wonder, or will you refuse, angry because \ I favor the Greeks and you the Trojans?" \ And Zeus' daughter Aphrodite replied: \ "Goddess revered as Cronus's daughter, \ Speak your mind. Tell me what you want \And I'll oblige you if I possibly can." \And Hera, with every intention to deceive: \ "Give me now the Sex and Desire \ You use to subdue immortals and humans. ..." \And Aphrodite, who loved to smile: \ "How could I, or would I, refuse someone \ Who sleeps in the anus of Use the Demonic Power of Words to Sow Confusion • 257 suitors have failed: they have begun by imposing themselves, a common mistake. We think that by being persistent, by overwhelming our targets with romantic attention, we are convincing them of our affection. Instead we are convincing them of our impatience and insecurity. Aggressive atten- tion is not flattering because it is not personalized.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Cold Co- quettes create space by remaining elusive and making others pursue them. Their coolness suggests a comfortable confidence that is exciting to be around, even though it may not actually exist; their silence makes you want to talk. Their self-containment, their appearance of having no need for other people, only makes us want to do things for them, hungry for the slightest sign of recognition and favor. Cold Coquettes may be maddening to deal with—never committing but never saying no, never allowing close- ness—but more often than not we find ourselves coming back to them, ad- dicted to the coldness they project. Remember: seduction is a process of drawing people in, making them want to pursue and possess you. Seem dis- tant and people will go mad to win your favor. Humans, like nature, hate a vacuum, and emotional distance and silence make them strain to fill up the empty space with words and heat of their own. Like Warhol, stand back and let them fight over you. [Narcissistic] women have the greatest fascination for men. . . . The charm of a child lies to a great extent in his narcissism, his self-sufficiency and inaccessibility, just as does the charm of certain animals which seem not to con- cern themselves about us, such as cats. . . . It is as if we envied them their power of retaining a blissful state of mind—an unassailable libido-position which we ourselves have since abandoned. —SIGMUND FREUD in him, and as he drank, he was enchanted by the beautiful reflection that he saw. He fell in love with an insubstantial hope, mistaking a mere shadow for a real body. Spellbound by his own self, he remained there motionless, with fixed gaze, like a statue carved from Parian marble. . . . Unwittingly, he desired himself, and was himself the object of his own approval, at once seeking and sought, himself kindling the flame with which he burned. How often did he vainly kiss the treacherous pool, how often plunge his arms deep in the waters, as he tried to clasp the neck he saw! But he could not lay hold upon himself. He did not know what he was looking at, but was fired by the sight, and excited by the very illusion that deceived his eyes. Poor foolish boy, why vainly grasp at the fleeting image that eludes you? The thing you are seeking does not exist: only turn aside and you will lose what you love. What you see is but the shadow cast by your reflection; in itself it is nothing. It comes with you, and lasts while you are there; it will go when you go, if go you can. . . . • He laid down his weary head on the green grass, and death closed the eyes which so admired their owner's beauty.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  They will come to you as if on their own, unaware that you insinuated the idea in their heads. In 1807, Napoleon Bonaparte decided it was critical for him to win the Russian Czar Alexander I to his side. He wanted two things out of the appearance, who unless I am mistaken is a close acquaintance of yours. I really couldn't say what his name is, but he is tall and handsome, his clothes are brown and elegantly cut, and, possibly because he is unaware of my resolute nature, he appears to have laid siege to me. He turns up infallibly whenever I either look out of my window or stand at the front door or leave the house, and I am surprised, in fact, that he is not here now. Needless to say, I am very upset about all this, because his sort of conduct frequently gives an honest woman a bad name, even though she is quite innocent. • " . . . For the love of God, therefore, I implore you to speak to him severely and persuade him to refrain from his importunities. There are plenty of other women who doubtless find this sort of thing amusing, and who will enjoy being ogled and spied upon by him, but I personally have no inclination for it whatsoever, and I find his behavior exceedingly disagreeable." • And having reached the end of her speech, the lady bowed her head as though she were going to burst into tears. • The reverend friar realized immediately who it was to whom she was referring, and having warmly commended her purity of mind . . . he promised to take all necessary steps to ensure that the fellow ceased to annoy her. . . . • Shortly afterward, the gentleman in question paid one of his regular visits to the reverend friar, and after they had conversed together for a while on general Master the Art of Insinuation • 217 czar: a peace treaty in which they agreed to carve up Europe and the Mid- dle East; and a marriage alliance, in which he would divorce his wife Josephine and marry into the czar's family. Instead of proposing these things directly, Napoleon decided to seduce the czar. Using polite social encounters and friendly conversations as his battlefields, he went to work. An apparent slip of the tongue revealed that Josephine could not bear chil- dren; Napoleon quickly changed the subject. A comment here and there seemed to suggest a linking of the destinies of France and Russia.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  larly from wealthy men, for at the time she was considered the most beauti- [ Greco] stretched ful woman in the world. Aristotle Onassis and the Shah of Iran telephoned languorously in an her almost daily, begging for a date. She turned them all down. A few days armchair of her Paris house after her arrival, though, she received an invitation from Elsa Maxwell, the and observed: • "They say I am a dangerous woman. society hostess, who was giving a little party in Cannes. Rita balked but Well, Aly was a dangerous Maxwell insisted, telling her to buy a new dress, show up a little late, and man. He was charming in make a grand entrance. a very special way. There is a kind of man who is very Rita played along, and arrived at the party wearing a white Grecian clever with women. He gown, her red hair falling over her bare shoulders. She was greeted by a re- takes you out to a action she had grown used to: all conversation stopped as both men and restaurant and if the most beautiful woman comes in, women turned in their chairs, the men gazing in amazement, the women he doesn't look at her. He jealous. A man hurried to her side and escorted her to her table. It was makes you feel you are a thirty-seven-year-old Prince Aly Khan, the son of the Aga Khan III, who queen. Of course, I understood it. I didn 't was the worldwide leader of the Islamic Ismaili sect and one of the richest believe it. I would laugh men in the world. Rita had been warned about Aly Khan, a notorious rake. and point out the To her dismay, they were seated next to each other, and he never left her beautiful woman. But that side. He asked her a million questions—about Hollywood, her interests, on is me. . . . Most women are made very happy by and on. She began to relax a little and open up. There were other beautiful that kind of attention. It's women there, princesses, actresses, but Aly Khan ignored them all, acting as pure vanity. She thinks, if Rita were the only woman there. He led her onto the dance floor, and 'I'll be the one and the others will leave.' though he was an expert dancer, she felt uncomfortable—he held her a lit- • " . . . With Aly, how tle too close. Still, when he offered to drive her back to her hotel, she the woman felt was most agreed. They sped along the Grande Corniche; it was a beautiful night. For important. . . . He was a great charmer, a great one evening she had managed to forget her many problems, and she was seducer. He made you feel grateful, but she was still in love with Welles, and an affair with a rake like fine and that everything Aly Khan was not what she needed.

• From Looking for Alaska (2005)

  Like maybe kids with autism.” She talked softly and thoughtfully, like she was telling me a secret, and I leaned in toward her, suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling that we must kiss, that we ought to kiss right now on the dusty orange couch with its cigarette burns and its decades of collected dust. And I would have: I would have kept leaning toward her until it became necessary to tilt my face so as to miss her ski-slope nose, and I would have felt the shock of her so-soft lips. I would have. But then she snapped out of it. “No,” she said, and I couldn’t tell at first whether she was reading my kiss-obsessed mind or responding to herself out loud. She turned away from me, and softly, maybe to herself, said, “Jesus, I’m not going to be one of those people who sits around talking about what they’re gonna do. I’m just going to do it. Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia.” “Huh?” I asked. “You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.” I guess that made sense. I had imagined that life at the Creek would be a bit more exciting than it was—in reality, there’d been more homework than adventure—but if I hadn’t imagined it, I would never have gotten to the Creek at all. She turned back to the TV, a commercial for a car now, and made a joke about Blue Citrus needing its own car commercial. Mimicking the deep-voiced passion of commercial voice-overs, she said, “It’s small, it’s slow, and it’s shitty, but it runs. Sometimes. Blue Citrus: See Your Local Used-Car Dealer.” But I wanted to talk more about her and Vine Station and the future. “Sometimes I don’t get you,” I said. She didn’t even glance at me. She just smiled toward the television and said, “You never get me. That’s the whole point.” ninety-nine days before I SPENT MOST of the next day lying in bed, immersed in the miserably uninteresting fictional world of Ethan Frome, while the Colonel sat at his desk, unraveling the secrets of differential equations or something. Although we tried to ration our smoke breaks amid the shower’s steam, we ran out of cigarettes before dark, necessitating a trip to Alaska’s room. She lay on the floor, holding a book over her head. “Let’s go smoke,” he said. “You’re out of cigarettes, aren’t you?” she asked without looking up. “Well. Yes.” “Got five bucks?” she asked. “Nope.” “Pudge?” she asked. “Yeah, all right.” I fished a five out of my pocket, and Alaska handed me a pack of twenty Marlboro Lights.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Eros's father was Contrivance, or Cunning, and his mother was Poverty, or Need. Eros takes after his parents: he is constantly in need, which he is con- stantly contriving to fill. As the god of love, he knows that love cannot be induced in another person unless they too feel need. And that is what his arrows do: piercing people's flesh, they make them feel a lack, an ache, a hunger. This is the essence of your task as a seducer. Like Eros, you must create a wound in your victim, aiming at their soft spot, the chink in their self-esteem. If they are stuck in a rut, make them feel it more deeply, "in- nocently" bringing it up and talking about it. What you want is a wound, an insecurity you can expand a little, an anxiety that can best be relieved by involvement with another person, namely you. They must feel the wound before they fall in love. Notice how Lawrence stirred anxiety, always hitting at his victims' weak spot: for Jessie Chambers, her physical coldness; for Ivy Low, her lack of spontaneity; for Middleton-Murry, his lack of gallantry. Cleopatra got Julius Caesar to sleep with her the first night he met her, but the real seduction, the one that made him her slave, began later. In their ensuing conversations she talked repeatedly of Alexander the Great, the hero from whom she was supposedly descended. No one could compare to him. By implication, Caesar was made to feel inferior. Understanding that beneath his bravado Caesar was insecure, Cleopatra awakened in him an anxiety, a hunger to prove his greatness. Once he felt this way he was easily further seduced. Doubts about his masculinity was his tender spot. When Caesar was assassinated, Cleopatra turned her sights on Mark Antony, one of Caesar's successors in the leadership of Rome. Antony loved pleasure and spectacle, and his tastes were crude. She appeared to him first on her royal barge, then wined and dined and banqueted him. Every- thing was geared to suggest to him the superiority of the Egyptian way of life over the Roman, at least when it came to pleasure. The Romans were boring and unsophisticated by comparison. And once Antony was made to feel how much he was missing in spending his time with his dull soldiers and his matronly Roman wife, he could be made to see Cleopatra as the in- carnation of all that was exciting. He became her slave. This is the lure of the exotic. In your role of seducer, try to position yourself as coming from outside, as a stranger of sorts. You represent Peasant! No, no; that's a profanation of so much Beauty.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  to the Bastille to teach him a lesson. But the ladies who had found him so again. • D O N JUAN: If the amusing could not endure his absence. Compared to the stiffs in court, here sea gives me death, you was someone incredibly bold, his eyes boring into you, his hands quicker give me life. But the sea than was safe. Nothing could stop him, his novelty was irresistible. The really saved me only to be killed by you. Oh the sea court ladies pleaded and his stay in the Bastille was cut short. tosses me from one torment Several years later, the young Mademoiselle de Valois was walking in a to the other, for I no sooner Paris park with her chaperone, an older woman who never left her side. De pulled myself from the water than I met this Valois's father, the Duke d'Orléans, was determined to protect her, his siren—y ourself. Why fill youngest daughter, from all the court seducers until she could be married my ears with wax, since off, so he had attached to her this chaperone, a woman of impeccable you kill me with your eyes? I was dying in the virtue and sourness. In the park, however, de Valois saw a young man who sea, but from today I shall gave her a look that set her heart on fire. He walked on by, but the look was die of love. • TISBEA: YOU intense and clear. It was her chaperone who told her his name: the now in- have abundant breath for a man almost drowned. You famous Duke de Richelieu, blasphemer, seducer, heartbreaker. Someone to suffered much, but who avoid at all cost. knows what suffering you A few days later, the chaperone took de Valois to a different park, and are preparing for me? . . . lo and behold, Richelieu crossed their path again. This time he was in dis- I found you at my feet all water, and now you are all guise, dressed as a beggar, but the look in his eye was unforgettable. Made- fire. If you burn when you moiselle de Valois returned his gaze: at last something exciting in her drab are so wet, what will you life. Given her father's sternness, no man had dared approach her. And now do when you're dry again? You promise a scorching this notorious courtier was pursuing her, instead of all the other ladies at flame; I hope to God court—what a thrill! Soon he was smuggling beautifully written notes to you're not lying. • D O N her expressing his uncontrollable desire for her. She responded timidly, but JUAN: Dear girl, God should have drowned me soon the notes were all she was living for. In one of them he promised to before I could be charred by arrange everything if she would spend the night with him; imagining it was you. Perhaps love was wise 19 20 • The Art of Seduction