Anger

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

Page 365 of 447 · 20 per page

• From Bold Move

  Filomena’s reactive avoidance had gotten her stuck. Tick Tick . . . Boom!For some of my clients, strong emotions don’t lead to just blowing a little steam, but to full-blown interpersonal explosions. Explosions or outbursts are yet another way that reactive avoidance shows up, and they tend to occur when the false alarm feels too close or inescapable.12 Take Oliver, for instance. Oliver walked into my office to address an anger problem, even though he didn’t really think he had a problem to begin with. Oliver told me that his daughters had given him a joke gift for Father’s Day: a roll of duct tape, upon which they had written the words “In Case of Emergency, Apply to Oliver’s Mouth.” They suggested that he bring the gift to work and keep it on his desk so that the next time he felt an angry outburst coming on, he could nip it in the bud. Though the gift was intended as a joke, Oliver wasn’t laughing as he told me about the tape. He shared that he actually felt crushed by the fact that those closest to him saw him this way. He said he had always been a self-described hothead but that he never really saw it as much of an issue. Some people run cool; others run hot. He felt he was direct and to the point, and he ultimately wanted to bring out the best in the people who worked for him. “Sure, maybe I don’t have the most elegant way of expressing myself, but how is it my problem that my co-workers have such thin skin?” “Fair question,” I conceded, wanting to meet him where he was, “but if it’s everyone else’s problem, why are you here?” Turns out this visit wasn’t Oliver’s choice. After a recent blowup at work, Oliver’s direct boss—the company’s CEO—had mandated that he meet with someone to address his tendency to—ahem—“tell it like it is.” I told him, “Oliver, I totally get where you’re coming from. A lot of people tell me I can be too direct sometimes too. A bit too forward. And sometimes it rubs people the wrong way.” “Really?” Oliver didn’t seem to believe that the petite, polite New-England-by-way-of-Brazil doctor seated before him could be anything like him. Oliver seemed a little uncomfortable—which made sense: maybe a guy who was so used to seeking out or instigating conflict was always set to “slightly on edge” as his default. Temperamentally, we didn’t seem to have much in common. So, I took a chance to see whether I could get him to chill out a bit and we could begin our session with our rational brains leading the way. Nobody would mistake me for a comedian, but I thought I’d start with a joke. Or at least a funny-ish story.

• From A Theology for the Social Gospel (1918)

  antagonistic interests, increases law suits, class hc^Jility, and wars, and so miseducates mankind that love and co- operation seem unworkable, and men are taught to put their trust in coercive control by the strong and in the sting of hunger and compulsion for the poor. Being the realm of love, the Kingdom of God must also be the commonwealth of co-operative labour, for how can we actively love others without serving their needs by our abilities? If the Kingdom of God is a community of highly developed personalities, it must also be an organization for labour, for none can realize himself fully without labour. A divinely ordered com- munity, therefore, would offer to all the opportunities of education and enjoyment, and expect from all their contribution of labour. Here again we realize the nature of sin over against the religious ideal of society. Sin selfishly takes from others their opportunities for self-realization in order to increase its own opportunities abnormally; and it shirks its own labour and thereby abnormally increases the labour of others. Idleness is active selfishness; it is not only unethical, but a sin against the Kingdom of God. To lay a heavy burden of support on our fellows, usually on the weakest classes, and to do no productive labour in return, is so crude a manifestation of sinful selfishness that one would suppose only an occasional instance of suth delinquency could be found, and only under medical treatment. But in fact throughout history the policy of most States has been shaped in order to make such a sinful condition easy and perpetual. Men who have been under the teachings of Christianity all their lives 56 A THEOLOGY FOR THE SOCIAL GOSPEL do even see that parasitism is a sin. So deeply has our insight into sin been darkened by the lack of a re- ligious ideal of social life. Henry Drummond, who was one of the early prophets of the Kingdom idea, long ago pointed out that parasites are on the way to perdition, physically, intellectually, and morally. We shall not be doing our thinking in a Christian way until we agree that productive labour according to the ability of each is one of “ the conditions of salvation.” The accepted definition of sin as selfishness is there- fore wholly in line with the social gospel, and the latter can back up the old theology with impressive examples of high-power selfishness which seem to have been over- looked. They can hardly fail to create a more search- ing consciousness of sin in every Christian mind. In- deed, many a Christian man, surveying the chief am- bitions and results of his life in the light of the Kingdom of God, will have to begin his repentance over again and cry, Mea culpa.

• From A Theology for the Social Gospel (1918)

  faith. Ideas struck out by a. wrestling mind in the heat of an argument are erected by later times into proof- texts more decisive than masses of living facts. One nation arms because it fears another; the other arms more because this armament alarms it; each subsidizes a third and a fourth to aid it. Two fight; all fight; none knows how to stop; a planet is stained red in a solidarity of hate and horror. The entomologist Fabre investigated the army cater- pillar, which marches in dense thousands, apparently under some leadership which all obey. But Fabre found there is no leadership. Each simply keeps in touch with the caterpillar just ahead of it and follows, follows on. The one article of faith is to follow the leaders, though none of the leaders knows whither they are going. The experimenter led the column to march in a circle by get- ting the front rank in touch with the rear, and now they milled around helplessly like lost souls in Dante’s hell. If this were the condition of humanity, we should be in a state of relative innocency and bliss. The front- rank caterpillars are at least not trying to make some- thing out of the rest, and are not leading them to their destruction by assuring them that they are doing it for their good and for the highest spiritual possessions of the caterpillar race. Human society has leaders who know what they want, but many of them have manipu- lated the fate of thousands for their selfish ends. The sheep-tick hides in the wool of the sheep and taps the blood where it flows warm and rich. But the tick has no power to alter the arterial system of the sheep and to bring the aorta close to the skin where it can get at it. THE KINGDOM OF EVIL 8 1 Human ticks have been able to do this. They have gained control of legislation, courts, police, military, royalty, church, property, religion, and have altered the constitution of nations in order to make things easy for' the tick class. The laws, institutions, doctrines, litera- ture, art, and manners which these ruling classes have secreted have been social means of infection which have bred new evils for generations. Any reader who doubts these sad statements can find the facts in the books, though mostly in foot-notes in fine print. It is also going on in real life. We can watch it if we look at any nation except our own.

• From Notes of a Native Son (1955)

  The astonishment with which I might have greeted them, should they have stumbled into my African village a few hundred years ago, might have rejoiced their hearts. But the astonishment with which they greet me today can only poison mine. And this is so despite everything I may do to feel differently, despite my friendly conversations with the bistro owner’s wife, despite their three-year-old son who has at last become my friend, despite the saluts and bonsoirs which I exchange with people as I walk, despite the fact that I know that no individual can be taken to task for what history is doing, or has done. I say that the culture of these people controls me—but they can scarcely be held responsible for European culture. America comes out of Europe, but these people have never seen America, nor have most of them seen more of Europe than the hamlet at the foot of their mountain. Yet they move with an authority which I shall never have; and they regard me, quite rightly, not only as a stranger in their village but as a suspect latecomer, bearing no credentials, to everything they have—however unconsciously—inherited. For this village, even were it incomparably more remote and incredibly more primitive, is the West, the West onto which I have been so strangely grafted. These people cannot be, from the point of view of power, strangers anywhere in the world; they have made the modern world, in effect, even if they do not know it. The most illiterate among them is related, in a way that I am not, to Dante, Shakespeare, Michelangelo, Aeschylus, Da Vinci, Rembrandt, and Racine; the cathedral at Chartres says something to them which it cannot say to me, as indeed would New York’s Empire State Building, should anyone here ever see it. Out of their hymns and dances come Beethoven and Bach. Go back a few centuries and they are in their full glory—but I am in Africa, watching the conquerors arrive. The rage of the disesteemed is personally fruitless, but it is also absolutely inevitable; this rage, so generally discounted, so little understood even among the people whose daily bread it is, is one of the things that makes history. Rage can only with difficulty, and never entirely, be brought under the domination of the intelligence and is therefore not susceptible to any arguments whatever. This is a fact which ordinary representatives of the Herrenvolk, having never felt this rage and being unable to imagine it, quite fail to understand. Also, rage cannot be hidden, it can only be dissembled. This dissembling deludes the thoughtless, and strengthens rage and adds, to rage, contempt.

• From Bold Move

  I can’t tell you how many times I tried to not react with one of my rapid-fire emails after Susan brought it to my attention. So, in this sense, Oliver was not wrong. I’m sure he had tried not yelling at Martha many times. But what Oliver was failing to understand was that there is a difference between the “just do it” approach to fighting avoidance, in which you just try to white-knuckle yourself away from whatever your strong emotions are trying to make you do, and actually training your brain to not engage in reactive avoidance through a planned action. The difference is that through a planned action, you’re doing something intentionally and with skill versus doing it because of a fight, flight, or freeze instinct. And to gain this skill, you don’t start practicing Approach in scenarios when your red-hot buttons are pressed. You need to strengthen your brain’s ability to act (instead of react) little by little. It’s like when I finally joined the bandwagon of buying a Peloton. On that first day, I did an extremely difficult hour-long class because, damn it, I was going to Approach my health and lose that pandemic belly! Opposite action to no exercise = Peloton! The result? I was barely able to walk for days afterward and ended up avoiding the Peloton like the plague. Somehow, I decided that after two years of zero exercise, it was well within my ability to immediately jump into the deep end, but my all-or-nothing approach didn’t work! In my case, it was merely a physical limitation, but for many of my clients, they try to stop avoiding their discomfort by exceeding their emotional limitations. To prevent this, we can rely on science to practice opposite action as a skill, instead of as a knee-jerk reaction. Setting Up for Early WinsAlthough practicing the opposite action might sound rather simplistic, it can be quite challenging. We are going against our very biology, after all. Like Oliver, you probably attempted a version of this skill one time or another but never found success. So, the decision on where to start is crucial to learning this skill successfully. To do so, I want to encourage you to identify hot button situations in which you could have early and easy wins . Basically, this is the opposite of what I did with my Peloton: I went all in and ended up with the complete opposite of an exercise routine; I avoided that damn bike because of how sore I was. So what would be the easy win? Starting small, doing it consistently, and building strength. How does this translate to your own practice?

• From The Spiral Staircase: My Climb Out of Darkness (2004)

  Where Nick found religion faintly upsetting, John hated it with the passion of a zealot. This, I was told, was one of the reasons why Jeremy Isaacs, the controller of Channel 4, had put him in charge of religion. This new channel had a remit to be different from the other three. There was to be no “God slot,” no Songs of Praise, no edifying discussions for the devout. “I want to open up religion and discuss it as critically as any other subject,” John was fond of saying. And he did, conducting his mandate as an antireligious crusade. “They’re all bonkers, darling!” he would exclaim incredulously when yet another pious broadcaster came to talk to him about the possibility of a commission. He had also decided to put on a highly provocative series called Jesus: The Evidence, designed to explode the Christian myth once and for all. Indeed, as he gleefully explained, the director actually intended to blow up a statue of Jesus at the very beginning of the first program. “Blast it to smithereens!” John predicted exultantly. “That’ll show the bastards!” It transpired that I was to be the chief weapon in John’s antireligious arsenal. “You’re so bright, darling,” he repeatedly exclaimed. “God—you’re clever!” he would breathe ecstatically, after I had uttered what seemed to me a perfectly commonplace remark. Constantly he and Nick would congratulate me on having escaped from the clutches of the church. Like the tabloid newspapers, they treated me as a heroine, who had, with great resourcefulness, escaped from deadly peril. “How did you come to be the person you are?” Nick once wrote to me on a postcard. I was amused and flattered. After all the years of failure, of being told that I was simply not up to the rigorous demands of a university career and being treated like a tiresome child at Dulwich, this adulation was delightful. Of course, I could see that it was over the top, but I wouldn’t have been human if I hadn’t enjoyed it. And it was all such fun. This was the eighties, and John was constantly sweeping me off for delicious, bibulous lunches and dinners, where we all discoursed wittily on, among other things, the absurdity of the religious enterprise. And the more I gave voice to the distaste that I still felt for the church and its claims, the more repelled I became. There was also something cathartic in this iconoclasm. For years I had kept quiet about my frustration with religion, and even though writing Through the Narrow Gate had redeemed certain aspects of the convent years, there was still a residue of anger.

• From A Theology for the Social Gospel (1918)

  ^The Helvetic Confession, II, Chapter 8: “We understand original sin to be the native corruption of man which has passed from our first parents to us; through which, being sunk in de- praved desires, averse to good, inclined to every evil, full of every wickedness, of contempt and hatred of God, we are unable to do or even to think any good whatever.” THE FALL OF MAN 43 fathers have made to the sin and misery of mankind. The social gospel would rather reserve some blame for them, for their vices have afflicted us with syphilis, their graft and their wars have loaded us with public debts, and their piety has perpetuated despotic churches and un- believable creeds. One of the greatest tasks in religious education reserved for the social gospel is to spread in society a sense of the solidarity of successive genera- tions and a sense of responsibility for those who are to come after us and whom we are now outfitting with the fundamental conditions of existence. This is one of the sincerest and most durable means of spiritual re- straint. It is hard to see how the thought of Adam and Eve can very directly influence young men and women who are to be the ancestors of new generations. In so far as the doctrine of the fall has made all later actions of negligible importance by contrast, it blocks the way for an important advance in the consciousness of sin. The traditional doctrine of the fall has taught us to regard evil as a kind of unvarying racial endowment, which is active in every new’^ life and which can be over- come only by the grace ofifered in the Gospel and min- istered by the Church. It would strengthen the appeal of the social gospel if evil could be regarded instead as a variable factor in the life of humanity, which it is our duty to diminish for every young life and for every new generation. These, it seems to me, are the points at which the social gospel impinges on the doctrine of the fall of man. Of course evolutionary thought has radically changed the conceptions about the origin of the race for those 44 A THEOLOGY FOR THE SOCIAL GOSPEL

• From Bold Move

  In his current role as a supervisor in corporate America, Oliver also wanted things to be in categories. And when they were not, he would blow up. It is important to note that not everyone raised this way will respond in the same manner, but data suggests that three out of ten military personnel engage in aggressive behavior.17 Not surprisingly, this kind of explosive response is not limited to individuals with a military background. It’s also quite common in people who are exposed to other high-stress situations, such as police officers, frontline doctors, and firefighters, but also—somewhat surprisingly—educators and even culinary professionals. If you can name a job that involves contextually stressful situations with no room for error, there’s a good chance that professionals in these industries also may experience this type of explosive response as a form of avoidance.18 For example, a study conducted in Australia found that professional chefs are more aggressive than the general population.19 (Consider this next time you’re about to send your food back at a restaurant!) Even stress that occurs outside of work or early in life can lead to increases in anger, aggression, and impulsivity.20 Regardless of the source of stress, outbursts happen when emotions are in the driver’s seat, the amygdala is in control, and the thinking brain is nowhere to be found. Similar to what we’ve learned about fear and anxiety, aggression arises when the prefrontal cortex is not regulating the amygdala’s response.21 It’s worth remembering that our amygdala doesn’t kick into overdrive only when some objective degree of a threat is encountered. It’s all highly subjective, and as long as there is a perceived threat at play, the fight, flight, or freeze response will activate. As such, one person’s fire alarm is another’s average Wednesday. With that in mind, let’s return to Oliver and his angry outbursts. One of the biggest things he and I uncovered was the fact that he was never taught how to regulate his emotions when they were in the driver’s seat, steering his car off the road. As a child, Oliver’s parents unintentionally taught him that strong emotions are not good and that he needed to keep them inside. In fact, the only time Oliver saw strong emotions at home was when his dad had angry outbursts—just like the ones he was having now—so Oliver learned that the only way to actually show that he was upset or disappointed or frustrated was through full-on anger. Oliver lacked the ability to regulate his emotions and as such there was simply no range of expression in his tool kit. He went from totally fine to DEFCON 1 in a matter of moments! Whenever something was frustrating, no matter whether it was a 1 or a 10, Oliver would begin to feel tense, and his heart would quicken. In these moments, he wouldn’t know how to articulate his frustration.

• From A Theology for the Social Gospel (1918)

  THE SOCIAL GOSPEL AND THE ATONEMENT 247 slave trade, or the Englishopium trade, or the univer- sal liquor traffic, orFive Power Loansto China, or a monopoly ofcolonial trade, then it willresist interfer- ence.The gigantic collective pedlar will blast reputa- tions by the press he controls, breakmen financially by the bank credit he controls, orruinmen politically by the party machinery or official power he controls. When Evil is organized, the prophets suffer. There is prob- ably not a single State ofour Union which hasnotseen the reputation and financial or political standing of good men killed in cold blood because they sincerely opposed high class graft. These public evils so pervade the sociallife ofhuman- ity inall times and all places that no one can share the commonlife ofourracewithout coming tinder theeffect of these collective sins.He will either sin byconsenting in them, or he willsuffer byresisting them. Jesus did not in any real sense bearthesinof some ancient Briton who beat up his wifein B. C. 56, orof some mountaineer in Tennesseewho got drunk in A. D. 1917. Buthe did in a very real sense bear the weight ofthe public sins of organized society, and they in turn are causally connected with all private sins. As onelooksacross human history with aminden- lightenedby the thought ofthe Kingdom of God, he sees a few great permanent evils whichhave blighted the life oftheraceand of every individual in it They always change their form and yet remain the samein substance. Seizeand fight the power of evilat anypoint, as you will, and soon one ofthese ruling evilswill liftits head and

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  During the Vatican Council in 1870 Döllinger broke with Rome, became the theological leader of the Old Catholic recession, and was excommunicated by the Archbishop of Munich (his former pupil), April 17, 1871, as being guilty of "the crime of open and formal heresy." He knows too much of church history to believe in the infallibility of the pope. He solemnly declared (March 28, 1871) that "as a Christian, as a theologian, as a historian, and as a citizen," he could not accept the Vatican decrees, because they contradict the spirit of the gospel and the genuine tradition of the church, and, if carried out, must involve church and state, the clergy and the laity, in irreconcilable conflict.22 V. The Protestant Church historians. The Reformation of the sixteenth century is the mother church history as a science and art in the proper sense of term. It seemed at first to break off from the past and to depreciate church history, by going back directly to the Bible as the only rule of faith and practice, and especially to look most unfavorably on the Catholic middle age, as a progressive corruption of the apostolic doctrine and discipline. But, on the other hand, it exalted primitive Christianity, and awakened a new and enthusiastic interest in all the documents of the apostolic church, with an energetic effort to reproduce its spirit and institutions. It really repudiated only the later tradition in favor of the older, taking its stand upon the primitive historical basis of Christianity. Then again, in the course of controversy with Rome, Protestantism found it desirable and necessary to wrest from its opponent not only the scriptural argument, but also the historical, and to turn it as far as possible to the side of the evangelical cause. For the Protestants could never deny that the true Church of Christ is built on a rock, and has the promise of indestructible permanence. Finally, the Reformation, by, liberating the mind from the yoke of a despotic ecclesiastical authority, gave an entirely new impulse, directly or indirectly to free investigation in every department, and produced that historical criticism which claims to clear fact from the accretions of fiction, and to bring out the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, of history. Of course this criticism may run to the extreme of rationalism and scepticism, which oppose the authority of the apostles and of Christ himself; as it actually did for a time, especially in Germany. But the abuse of free investigation proves nothing against the right use of it; and is to be regarded only as a temporary aberration, from which all sound minds will return to a due appreciation of history, as a truly rational unfolding of the plan of redemption, and a standing witness for the all-ruling providence of God, and the divine character of the Christian religion. (a) German, Swiss, and Dutch historians.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  But as soon as church and state began to be united, temporal punishments, such as confiscation of property, exile, and death, were added by the civil magistrate with the approval of the church, in imitation of the Mosaic code, but in violation of the spirit and example of Christ and the apostles. Constantine opened the way in some edicts against the Donatists, A.D. 316. Valentinian I. forbade the public worship of Manichaeans (371). After the defeat of the Arians by the second Œcumenical Council, Theodosius the Great enforced uniformity of belief by legal penalties in fifteen edicts between 381 and 394. Honorius (408), Arcadius, the younger Theodosius, and Justinian (529) followed in the same path. By these imperial enactments heretics, i.e. open dissenters from the imperial state-religion, were deprived of all public offices, of the right of public worship, of receiving or bequeathing properly, of making binding contracts; they were subjected to fines, banishment, corporeal punishment, and even death. See the Theos. Code, Book XVI. tit. V. De Haereticis. The first sentence of death by the sword for heresy was executed on Priscillian and six of his followers who held Manichaean opinions (385). The better feeling of Ambrose of Milan and Martin of Tours protested against this act, but in vain. Even the great and good St. Augustin, although he had himself been a heretic for nine years, defended the principle of religious persecution, on a false exegesis of Cogite eos intrare, Luke 14:23 (Ep. 93 ad Vinc.; Ep. 185 ad Bonif., Retract. II. 5.). Had he foreseen the crusade against the Albigenses and the horrors of the Spanish Inquisition, he would have retracted his dangerous opinion. A theocratic or Erastian state-church theory—whether Greek Catholic or Roman Catholic or Protestant—makes all offences against the church offences against the state, and requires their punishment with more or less severity according to the prevailing degree of zeal for orthodoxy and hatred of heresy. But in the overruling Providence of God which brings good out of every evil, the bloody persecution of heretics—one of the darkest chapters in church history—has produced the sweet fruit of religious liberty. See vol. III. 138–146. § 138. The Holy Scriptures and the Canon. The works on the Canon by Reuss, Westcott, (6th ed., 1889), Zahn, (1888). Holtzmann: Kanon u. Tradition, 1859. Schaff: Companion to the Greek Testament and the English Version. N. York and London, 1883; third ed. 1888. Gregory: Prolegomena to Tischendorf’s 8th ed. of the Greek Test. Lips., 1884. A. Harnack: Das N. Test. um das jahr 200. Leipz., 1889. The question of the source and rule of Christian knowledge lies at the foundation of all theology. We therefore notice it here before passing to the several doctrines of faith.

• From Bold Move

  After months of implementing his opposite action plan of making the effort to compliment his wife whenever he felt anger at home, Oliver was ready to tackle his reactivity at work. He took the duct tape that his daughters had given him but crossed out their original message and instead wrote “BE KIND” in capital letters. He put the duct tape by his office door, so he had to see it whenever he marched off into the rest of the office. He did this after a few incidents in which he had completely ignored his plan and reacted impulsively and unpleasantly toward his team. Oliver also practiced starting his conversations at the office with one kind thing he could think of about that person, even when he was angry. Oliver had finally realized that when he was on red alert, he could not be kind, and so at these moments, his opposite action was to first avoid the person for a short while until he cooled down a bit. I would eventually coach someone like Oliver to help him reduce these red alert moments, but baby steps are important when it comes to anger management issues. Although most of my clients, like Oliver, tend to think of me as the “avoidance police,” I am not so black and white when it comes to these things. The reality is, sometimes we need to give the amygdala time to cool off before we can regain access to our rational brains. So what did Oliver do during his time-outs? He practiced another emotion regulation skill that I love, which is often thought of as rebooting your system. Whenever Oliver was having a red alert, he agreed to hold an ice cube in the palm of his hand. Yes, you read that right, an ice cube. See, science teaches us that exposure to cold actually slows down our heart rate,15 which is a key part of our fight, flight, or freeze response. So for the price of a single ice cube, you get a nifty tool to bring your emotions down fast before you react. By the time I finished my work with Oliver, he told me his daughters had noticed his efforts and complimented him on his progress. Even Martha, the employee with whom he had previously had a lot of conflict at work, had noticed how much better he was doing. For his part, he had also apologized and told her about the efforts he was making to change. When in doubt, a little vulnerability goes a long way. Admitting we have been wrong and that we are working on changing takes guts, but it’s hard to think of a better way to open yourself up to kindness from others.

• From The Spiral Staircase: My Climb Out of Darkness (2004)

  I just don’t believe that God is there.” “Join the club.” Jane smiled dourly. “If there is a God, he’s doing a spectacularly bad job of running the world, that’s all I can say. But anyway”—she seemed mentally to shake herself back into a more positive frame of mind—“I really think you should reconsider this mad idea of going back to the convent. And I think you’re wrong about the Harts. I’m certain they would have you back. They’re awfully fond of you, in their own way, you know— though they’d rather die than admit it. Jenifer rang up the hospital this morning to find out how you were.” “That was kind.” I was touched, but determined. “No. I just can’t roll up tomorrow at Manor Place as though nothing had happened. I just can’t.” As it turned out, Jane need not have worried. When I rang up Cherwell Edge and spoke to the superior, she at first sounded genuinely pleased to hear from me. She had replaced Mother Praeterita, with whom I had clashed so stridently during my last year in the religious life, and was a kindly woman, whom I had known distantly in Sussex. But when I told her my story, she retreated at once. What I had done was truly terrible; she would have to take advice, and pray about it, but she really didn’t think that the community could accept this responsibility. I was shaken when I put down the phone, and angry. How many times had I been told that nuns were never shocked, any more than Jesus had been? You can say anything to a nun; nothing about human nature surprises them. That was the theory, but it was not true, of course. It is probably not the case with anyone; and now, almost thirty years later, I cannot say that I blame that superior. I probably frightened her half to death. She would have remembered me as a timid little novice, unable to say “boo” to a goose, and here I was apparently deranged and dangerously suicidal. It was indeed a mad idea to imagine that I could go back to the convent to convalesce, and the fact that I had thought it feasible showed how confused I really was, despite my studied calm. But at the time the rejection seemed a slap in the face. And that too was salutary. It made me realize that I could not keep looking back to the past; I had to move on. I repeated my new mantra: “We will grieve not, rather find / Strength in what remains behind.” It was not so easy to be positive, however, when, a few hours later, I found myself sitting on a lumpy sofa waiting to be checked into a ward in the Littlemore Hospital, watching another patient making her slow, crablike progress down the corridor.

• From A Theology for the Social Gospel (1918)

  l82 A THEOLOGY FORTHE SOCIAL GOSPEL If God stands forthe present social order, how can we defend him?We can stand the pain of travail, of physi- cal dissolution, of earthquakes and accidents. These are the price we pay for the use of afine planet with lovely appurtenances and for a wonderful body. We can also accept with reasonable resignation the mental anguish of unrequited love, offoiled ambition, or of the emptiness of life. Theseare the risks we run as possessors of a highlyorganizedpersonality amid a world ofmen.But we can notstand for poor and laborious people being de- prived of physical stature, youth, education, human equal- ity, and justice, inorder toenable others to live luxurious lives. It revolts us to see theseconditions perpetuated by law and organized force, and palliated or justified by the makers of public opinion. None ofthe keys offered by individualistic Christianity fit this padlock. Thesocial gospel supplies an explanation ofthis class of human suffering, Society is so integral thatwhen one man sins, other men suffer, and when onesocial class sins, theotherclasses areinvolved in the suffering which fol- lows onthat sin.The more powerful an individual is, themorewill he involve others; the more powerful a class is, themore will itbe able to unload its own just suffering ontheweaker classes. These sufferings are not " vicarious " ; they aresolidaristic. Our solidarity is a beneficent part of human life. Itis thebasisfor our greatestgood. If our community life is righteous and fraternal, we are enriched and enlarged by being bound up with it. But, by the same law, if our community is organized in a way that permits, encour- ages, or defends predatorypractices, then the larger part

• From A Theology for the Social Gospel (1918)

  A THEOLOGYFOR THESOCIAL GOSPEL societyconstantly obscured and eclipsed it.The imagery of coercion and tyranny always suggested itself anew. The triumph of the Christian ideaof God will never be complete as long as economic and political despotism pre- vail. The value ofthe Reformation should bere-assessed from this point of view.Luthertore the idea of " merit " outof theology. Christ alone hadmerit. By hisblood hehad paid the whole debtonce forall. Manneednot earn merit. He can notearn merit. It wouldbe a sin for him to try. Thatended the contract labour system in religion. Godwas reconciled. He hadbeen angry but hewas now kind and ready to forgive. The sinnerneed only believe and accept the great transaction made on his behalf. That ended the reign of fearfor thosewho un- derstood.Thesaintsand their intercession weredis- missed ; they never had any merit either ; thesinnercould deal withGod and Christ direct. Purgatory was gone; only hell proper remained. It was a religious Seisach- theia, like thatin Athensunder Solon's laws, a great un- loading, a revolution in thefield of the spiritual life, and the condition for the coming of political andeconomic lib- erty. But therestoration of theChristian conception of God was by no means complete.Despotic government was stillin full swing when the Reformation theology was written.Lutherand Calvinwere not personally in sym- pathy with democracy. The age of absolutism andof Louis XIV was just ahead. The long era of witch-trials THE CONCEPTION OF GOD had just begun. The spell of fear was broken only for a few. The fundamental assumptions aboutGod re- mained. The inherited forensic terminology of theology suggested the oid lines of thought. As long as religion borrows its terms from the procedure of law-courts, the spirit of coercion and terrorleaks in. Legal ideasare not congruous with the Christian consciousness ofsalva- tion. The idea of " justification " didnotcome to us from Jesus and it does notblendwell withhis way of thinking. For Pauland Luther " justificationby faith " wasan emancipating idea ; itstood for an immense sim- plification and sweetening of the process ofsalvation. They used the terminology of legalism to deny its spirit. To us, who are notunderthe consciousness of Jewish or Roman Catholic legality, " justification " doesnot convey the samesense of liberation, butthe phrase isnowa vehicle by which legal and often despotic ideas comeback to plague us. The social gospel isGod's predestinedagent to con- tinuewhat the Reformation began. It arouses intelli- gent hatred of oppression and the reign of fear, and teaches us to prize liberty andto love love. Therefore those whose religious life has been influenced by theso- cial gospel are instinctively out of sympathy with auto- cratic conceptions ofGod. They sense the spiritual taint which goes out from such ideas. They knowthatthese religious conceptions are used to make autocratic social conditions look tolerable, necessary, and desirable. Like Paul, the social gospel has not " received the spirit of bondage again unto fear." It is wholly in sympathy with

• From A Theology for the Social Gospel (1918)

  break conscientious convictions and the most cherished rights of democracy. In our own country the delays and appeals permitted by our legal procedure set up a terrible inequality between the rich and poor. Years of public agitation have produced no adequate change. Even if the judge is wholly free from bias, the law itself in all countries, presumably, is on the side of property. The British Parliament, “ the mother of free institutions,” has always been an assembly of propertied men ; only in recent years has it contained an efficient minority of rep- resentatives of the working class. Our own legislatures rarely contain any spokesman of the class which needs a voice most of all'. As soon as Jesus was arrested, he became a victim of the courts. In the ecclesiastical court, we are told, dis- torted and bribed testimony was used. His followers were not present and we have no report of eye-witnesses. It may be that he never made the claim that he would come as the apocalyptic Messiah, and that it was con- cocted in order to have a political charge to present in the Roman court. The priestly court condemned him on a priestly charge ; he was a heretic and blasphemer. In the Roman court the pull of the upper classes and the pressure of mob clamour were allowed to influence judicial procedure. It was Pilate’s high privilege to protect a man whom he felt to be innocent; he had the military power of Rome to back his verdict. He yielded to pressure because his own career, as we know from secular history, w’^as corrupt; the Jews threatened to get him,” and he knew they could. So he took some water and demonstratively washed his hands of what he yet 254 A THEOLOGY FOR THE SOCIAL GOSPEL consented to do. Pilate’s wash-bowl deserves to be a mystic symbol, the counter-part of the Holy Grail. So Jesus made experience of one of the permanent sins of organized society, bearing in his own body and soul what so many thousands of the poor and weak have borne before and after, the corruption of justice. A fourth permanent social sin which participated in the death of Jesus was the mob spirit and mob action. The mob spirit is the social spirit gone mad. The social group then escapes from the control of its wiser and fairer habits, and is lashed into action by primitive pas- sions. The social spirit reacts so powerfully on individ- uals, that when once the restraints of self-criticism and self-control are shot back, the crowd gets drunk on the mere effluvia of its own emotions. We know only too well that a city of respectable and religious people will do fiendish acts of cruelty and obscenity. There are radical mobs and conservative mobs. Well- dressed mobs are more dangerous than ragged mobs because they are far more efficient. Entire nations may come under the mob spirit, and abdicate their judgment.

• From A Theology for the Social Gospel (1918)

  The social gospel is God's predestined agent to con- tinue what the Reformation began. It arouses intelli- gent hatred of oppression and the reign of fear, and teaches us to prize liberty and to love love. Therefore those whose religious life has been influenced by the so- cial gospel are instinctively out of sympathy with auto- cratic conceptions of God. They sense the spiritual taint which goes out from such ideas. They know that these religious conceptions are used to make autocratic social conditions look tolerable, necessary, and desirable. Like Paul, the social gospel has not received the spirit of bondage again unto fear.’’ It is wholly in sympathy with 178 A THEOLOGY FOR THE SOCIAL GOSPEL the conception of the Father which Jesus revealed to us by his words, by his personality, and by his own relations to the Father. This reformatory and democratizing influence of the social gospel is not against religion but for it. The worst thing that could happen to God would be to remain an autocrat while the world is moving toward democracy. He would be dethroned with the rest. For one man who has forsaken religion through scientific doubt, ten have forsaken it in our time because it seemed the spiritual op- ponent of liberty and the working people. This feeling will deepen as democracy takes hold and becomes more than a theory of government. We have heard only the political overture of democracy, played by fifes ; the eco- nomic numbers of the program are yet to come, and they will be performed with trumpets and trombones. The Kingdom of God is the necessary background for the Christian idea of God. The social movement is one of the chief ways in which God is revealing that he lives and rules as a God that loves righteousness and hates in- iquity. A theological God who has no interest in the conquest of justice and fraternity is not a Christian. It is not enough for theology to eliminate this or that auto- cratic trait. Its God must join the social movement. The real God has been in it long ago. The development of a Christian social order would be the highest proof of God’s saving power. The failure of the social move- ment would impugn his existence. The old conception that God dwells on high and is distinct from our human life was the natural basis for THE CONCEPTION OF GOD 179

• From Worried about Everything Because I Pray about Nothing (2022)

  TEN How to dodge ducks There are few forces on earth that can make California drivers slow down, much less stop en masse. So if you’re driving down the freeway and suddenly see a wall of brake lights in the distance, you know there is a real problem. It’s probably either a) road construction, b) a wreck, or c) a mother duck and her ducklings crossing the road. That last one really happens, by the way. Ducks with death wishes occasionally try to cross I-5, the main interstate on the West Coast, triggering traffic jams and news reports. Why are they crossing the road? Nobody knows. (Except the chicken, possibly, and he’s not talking.) There is something inherently frustrating about traffic jams, regardless of what causes them. And I don’t think I’m the only one to feel this, but as you are inching along, surrounded by hundreds or thousands of other frustrated motorists, you start to question the existence of humanity. Or at least the competency of the civil engineers responsible for the roads. Traffic is meant to flow. Vehicles are designed to move. Here’s my point: If traffic isn’t moving on the freeway, something is blocking it. And until that thing is taken care of, we’re going to be stuck in a traffic jam, listening to podcasts (if I’m alone) or the Kidz Bop playlist (if I’m with the family), while time ticks by. In the same way, prayers were meant to flow, to move, to go somewhere. So if our prayer life is not flowing, something is probably blocking it. But instead of roadwork or ducks, that something is usually internal, subtle, easy to miss.

• From The Chronology of Water (2011)

  He grabbed my arm at one point, and though I could feel the bruise forming, I never let go of the handle of the suitcase. I felt I could swing it into his head any time I wanted. Somehow that night my girl shame and fear were nowhere in the room. I thought the thought of somebody’s son. You don’t know how far I’ll go, motherfucker. I looked him in the eyes. Blue on blue. I felt the width of my shoulders and the square of my own jaw. My adrenaline rushed up like before a race. Nothing he was saying was beating me down. I think maybe he saw that, because he shifted gears and began to rage about what I was doing to my mother - did it make me happy that it would kill her? My leaving? Just like my selfish shit of a sister? Is that the kind of person I was? A selfish bitch who wanted to kill my mother? You and your sister - such high and mighty assholes - you think you are so much better than anyone else? My sister and I, we were selfish. We wanted selves. There was no rage or love that could stop us. That’s what opened my mouth. Fuck. You. Motherfucker. I said it again, louder, and again, until I was screaming it, screaming with the lungs of a swimmer. Then I said get the fuck out of my way you fucking sadist, and I swung my suitcase back, and he drew up his full height of father and pulled his arm back and fisted up his hand until it white knuckled and his face went red and he clenched his teeth and those eyes, those rage filled father eyes … so I did what I was born to do. I leaned in as close to his face as I could and said do it. Suitcase ready. It was his voice I used. It seemed we’d die in that moment. But all it took to leave that room was this body I had. Though I did hear him breathing - out of breath - at my mighty back. And I did consider what being punched in the back of the skull might feel like. I believed I could take it.

• From Justine (Alexandria Quartet vol. 1) (1957)

  She got up now and walked away down the long curving perspective of the beach, crossing the pools of lava slowly, her head bent; and I thought of Nessim’s handsome face smiling at her from every mirror in the room. The whole of the scene which we had just enacted was invested in my mind with a dream-like improbability. It was curious in an objective sort of way to notice how my hands trembled as I lit a cigarette and rose to follow her. But when I overtook her and halted her the face she turned to me was that of a sick demon. She was in a towering rage. ‘You thought I simply wanted to make love? God! haven’t we had enough of that? How is it that you do not know what I feel for once? How is it?’ She stamped her foot in the wet sand. It was not merely that a geological fault had opened in the ground upon which we had been treading with such self-confidence. It was as if some long-disused mineshaft in my own character had suddenly fallen in. I recognized that this barren traffic in ideas and feelings had driven a path through towards the denser jungles of the heart; and that here we became bondsmen in the body, possessors of an enigmatic knowledge which could only be passed on — received, deciphered, understood — by those rare complementaries of ours in the world. (How few they were, how seldom one found them!) ‘After all’ I remember her saying, ‘this has nothing to do with sex’ which tempted me to laugh though I recognized in the phrase her desperate attempt to dissociate the flesh from the message it carried. I suppose this sort of thing always happens to bankrupts when they fall in love. I saw then what I should have seen long before: namely that our friendship had ripened to a point when we had already become in a way part-owners of each other. I think we were both horrified by the thought; for exhausted as we were we could not help but quail before such a relationship. We did not say any more but walked back along the beach to where we had left our clothes, speechless and hand in hand. Justine looked utterly exhausted. We were both dying to get away from each other, in order to examine our own feelings. We did not speak to each other again. We drove into the city and she dropped me at the usual corner near my flat. I snapped the door of the car closed and she drove off without a word or a glance in my direction.