Trust
The willingness to remain open to another whose action one cannot fully control.
571 passages · 2 Vela essays · in 1 cluster
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From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)
I answer that, As stated above ([4205]Q[5], A[1]), it was unbecoming that the Son of God, who is the Truth of the Father, should make use of anything unreal; wherefore He took, not an imaginary, but a real body. And since the Holy Ghost is called the Spirit of Truth, as appears from Jn. 16:13, therefore He too made a real dove in which to appear, though He did not assume it into unity of person. Wherefore, after the words quoted above, Augustine adds: “Just as it behooved the Son of God not to deceive men, so it behooved the Holy Ghost not to deceive. But it was easy for Almighty God, who created all creatures out of nothing, to frame the body of a real dove without the help of other doves, just as it was easy for Him to form a true body in Mary’s womb without the seed of a man: since the corporeal creature obeys its Lord’s command and will, both in the mother’s womb in forming a man, and in the world itself in forming a dove.” Reply to Objection 1: The Holy Ghost is said to have descended in the shape or semblance of a dove, not in the sense that the dove was not real, but in order to show that He did not appear in the form of His substance. Reply to Objection 2: It was not superfluous to form a real dove, in which the Holy Ghost might appear, because by the very reality of the dove the reality of the Holy Ghost and of His effects is signified. Reply to Objection 3: The properties of the dove lead us to understand the dove’s nature and the effects of the Holy Ghost in the same way. Because from the very fact that the dove has such properties, it results that it signifies the Holy Ghost. Whether it was becoming, when Christ was baptized that the Father’s voice should be heard, bearing witness to the Son?Objection 1: It would seem that it was unbecoming when Christ was baptized for the Father’s voice to be heard bearing witness to the Son. For the Son and the Holy Ghost, according as they have appeared visibly, are said to have been visibly sent. But it does not become the Father to be sent, as Augustine makes it clear (De Trin. ii). Neither, therefore, (does it become Him) to appear. Objection 2: Further, the voice gives expression to the word conceived in the heart. But the Father is not the Word. Therefore He is unfittingly manifested by a voice. Objection 3: Further, the Man-Christ did not begin to be Son of God at His baptism, as some heretics have stated: but He was the Son of God from the beginning of His conception. Therefore the Father’s voice should have proclaimed Christ’s Godhead at His nativity rather than at His baptism.
From Stone Butch Blues (1993)
In his own way he had done what I had never been able to do—teveal the humiliation. And I wanted to trust him, to tell him everything. But I was afraid. Yet I couldn’t leave him alone inside himself. “You know why I like you so much, Ben?” His eyes were eager as a child’s for the answer. “T like you because you're as gentle as you are strong.” Ben blushed and dropped his eyes. ““There’s something about you, Ben, that’s good and that I trust. And [I’m wondering: how did you turn out this way? How did you get from all your hurt to the man you are now? What changed for you? What decisions did you make?” The great bear smiled shyly. This was the intimacy he’d wanted, the attention he needed. He leaned closer. “When I got out on parole, I went to work at a gas station. The mechanic there, Frank. That guy changed my life.” Ben’s voice dropped low. “Frank cared about me. He taught me to be a mechanic. He taught me about a lot of things. But there’s one thing he told me [ll never forget. One day I was gonna run away. There was this guy who was always fucking with me at the garage and I couldn’t fight him ’cause I'd go back to the joint if I did. It was making me crazy. I was all upset inside, you know?” I nodded. “T wanted to kill that guy and then take off. Frank knew. He pushed me up against the garage wall and he was yelling at me, trying to get through.” Ben laughed. “You'd have to know what a quiet guy he was to appreciate him yelling at me like that. I told him I had to prove I was a man.” He took a swig of beet. I smiled at the butchness in his story. “What happened?” “T’ll never forget what Frank told me. He said, ‘You're already a man, you don’t have to prove that. You just have to prove what kind of man you want to be.”’ My eyes filled with tears. Ben’s voice was as intimate as his smile. “What about you, Jesse? What made you the way you are? What’s your life been about?” In a world with any justice I would have poured out my life story to him. I would have given him back in kind the trust he’d shown to me. But I was afraid and so I betrayed him. “There’s not much to tell,” I said. He blinked in disbelief. I wanted him to let it go, but he wouldn’t. He was brave enough to bloody his head against my brick wall again. “Jesse,” he whispered, “tell me something about you.” Stone Butch Blues 199
From Stone Butch Blues (1993)
In his own way he had done what I had never been able to do—teveal the humiliation. And I wanted to trust him, to tell him everything. But I was afraid. Yet I couldn’t leave him alone inside himself. “You know why I like you so much, Ben?” His eyes were eager as a child’s for the answer. “T like you because you're as gentle as you are strong.” Ben blushed and dropped his eyes. ““There’s something about you, Ben, that’s good and that I trust. And [I’m wondering: how did you turn out this way? How did you get from all your hurt to the man you are now? What changed for you? What decisions did you make?” The great bear smiled shyly. This was the intimacy he’d wanted, the attention he needed. He leaned closer. “When I got out on parole, I went to work at a gas station. The mechanic there, Frank. That guy changed my life.” Ben’s voice dropped low. “Frank cared about me. He taught me to be a mechanic. He taught me about a lot of things. But there’s one thing he told me [ll never forget. One day I was gonna run away. There was this guy who was always fucking with me at the garage and I couldn’t fight him ’cause I'd go back to the joint if I did. It was making me crazy. I was all upset inside, you know?” I nodded. “T wanted to kill that guy and then take off. Frank knew. He pushed me up against the garage wall and he was yelling at me, trying to get through.” Ben laughed. “You'd have to know what a quiet guy he was to appreciate him yelling at me like that. I told him I had to prove I was a man.” He took a swig of beet. I smiled at the butchness in his story. “What happened?” “T’ll never forget what Frank told me. He said, ‘You're already a man, you don’t have to prove that. You just have to prove what kind of man you want to be.”’ My eyes filled with tears. Ben’s voice was as intimate as his smile. “What about you, Jesse? What made you the way you are? What’s your life been about?” In a world with any justice I would have poured out my life story to him. I would have given him back in kind the trust he’d shown to me. But I was afraid and so I betrayed him. “There’s not much to tell,” I said. He blinked in disbelief. I wanted him to let it go, but he wouldn’t. He was brave enough to bloody his head against my brick wall again. “Jesse,” he whispered, “tell me something about you.” Stone Butch Blues 199
From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)
one. We see a reflection of ourselves in others. We can relax. At our core we feel validated. Not needing to turn inward and defensive, we can direct our minds outward, beyond our ego—to a cause, a new idea, or the happiness of the other. Understand: Creating this feeling of validation is the golden key that will unlock people’s defenses. And we cannot survive and thrive in this highly competitive world without possessing such a power. We continually find ourselves in situations in which we need to move people from their resistant positions. We need their assistance, or we need the ability to alter their ugly behavior. If we flail about, improvising in the moment, trying to plead, cajole, and even make people feel guilty, we are more than likely only making them more defensive. If we somehow succeed in getting what we want through these methods, their support is thin, with an undercurrent of resentment. We have taken from them—time, money, ideas—and they will close themselves off to further influence. And if we go through long stretches of time continually butting up against people’s resistance and getting nowhere, we can face a very dangerous dynamic in life—mounting frustration at the apparent indifference of people. This subtly infects our attitude. When we find ourselves in situations needing to influence people, they sense our neediness and insecurity. We try too hard to please. We seem ever so slightly desperate, defeated before starting. This can turn into a negative self-fulfilling dynamic that will keep us marginalized without ever being aware of the source of the problem. Before it is too late we must turn this dynamic around, as Johnson did at the age of forty. We must discover the power that we can possess by giving people the validation they crave and lowering their defenses. And the key to making this happen in a realistic and strategic manner is to fully understand a fundamental law of human nature. This law is as follows: People have a perception about themselves that we shall call their self-opinion . This self-opinion can be accurate or not—it doesn’t matter. What matters is how people perceive their own character and worthiness. And there are three qualities to people’s self-opinion that are nearly universal: “I am autonomous, acting of my own free will”; “I am intelligent in my own way”; and “I am basically good and decent.” When it comes to the first universal (I am acting of my own free will), if we join a group, or believe something, or buy a product, it is because we choose to do so. The truth might be that we were manipulated or succumbed to peer pressure, but we will tell ourselves something else. If we ever feel consciously coerced—as in having to obey a boss—we either tell ourselves we have chosen to obey or we deeply resent being forced and manipulated. In the latter case, we might smile and obey, but we will find a way to secretly
From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)
empathic muscle; your work improves; without trying, you gain the attention that all humans thrive on. Empathy creates its own upward, positive momentum. The following are the four components that go into the empathic skill set. The empathic attitude: Empathy is more than anything a state of mind, a different way of relating to others. The greatest danger you face is your general assumption that you really understand people and that you can quickly judge and categorize them. Instead, you must begin with the assumption that you are ignorant and that you have natural biases that will make you judge people incorrectly. The people around you present a mask that suits their purposes. You mistake the mask for reality. Let go of your tendency to make snap judgments. Open your mind to seeing people in a new light. Do not assume that you are similar or that they share your values. Each person you meet is like an undiscovered country, with a very particular psychological chemistry that you will carefully explore. You are more than ready to be surprised by what you uncover. This flexible, open spirit is similar to creative energy—a willingness to consider more possibilities and options. In fact, developing your empathy will also improve your creative powers. The best place to begin this transformation in your attitude is in your numerous daily conversations. Try reversing your normal impulse to talk and give your opinion, desiring instead to hear the other person’s point of view. You have tremendous curiosity in this direction. Cut off your incessant interior monologue as best you can. Give full attention to the other. What matters here is the quality of your listening, so that in the course of the conversation you can mirror back to the other person things they said, or things that were left unsaid but that you sensed. This will have a tremendous seductive effect. As part of this attitude, you are giving people the same level of indulgence that you give yourself. For instance, we all have a tendency to do the following: When we make a mistake, we attribute it to circumstances that pushed us into doing it. But when others make a mistake, we tend to see it as a character flaw, as something that flowed from their imperfect personality. This is known as the attribution bias . You must work against this. With an empathic attitude, you consider first the circumstances that might have made a person do what they did, giving them the same benefit of the doubt as you give yourself. Finally, adopting this attitude depends on the quality of your self- love. If you feel terribly superior to others, or gripped by insecurities, your moments of empathy and absorption in people will be shallow. What you need is a complete acceptance of your character, including your flaws, which you can see clearly but even appreciate and love. You are not perfect. You are not an angel. You have the same nature
From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)
People will still waver and have moments of doubt or envy, but they will more quickly forgive us for any mistakes and move past their suspicions. We have established enough trust for that to happen. Besides, the members have come to dread what could occur if we no longer were the leaders—the disunity, the lack of clarity, the bad decisions. Their need for us is too strong. Now we are no longer dealing with the invisible friction from the group but the opposite. The members feel engaged in the larger mission. We are able to channel their creative energy, instead of having to drag them along. With this loyalty in place, it is easier to reach goals and realize our vision. This gives us the augmented presence of authority, in which everything we say and do has added weight. It is always within our capacity to reach this ideal, and if the members lose respect and trust in us, we must see this as our own fault. — Your task as a student of human nature is threefold: First, you must make yourself a consummate observer of the phenomenon of authority, using as a measuring device the degree of influence people wield without the use of force or motivational speeches. You begin this process by looking at your own family and gauging which parent, if any, exercised greater authority over you and your siblings. You look at the teachers and mentors in your life, some of whom distinguished themselves by the powerful effect they had on you. Their words and the example they set still reverberate in your mind. You observe your own bosses in action, looking at their effect not only on you and other individuals but also on the group as a whole. Lastly, you look at the various leaders in the news. In all these cases, you want to determine the source of their authority or lack of it. You want to discern moments when their authority waxes or wanes, and figure out why. Second, you want to develop some of the habits and strategies (see the next section) that will serve you well in projecting authority. If you are an apprentice who aspires to a position of leadership, developing these strategies early on will give you an impressive and appealing aura in the present, making it seem as if you were destined to be powerful. If you are already in a leadership position, these strategies will strengthen your authority and connectedness to the group.
From Saint Thomas Aquinas Collection (22 Books) (2016)
Since, however, faith contains many things subordinate to the faith whereby we believe that God is, which is the first and chief of all articles of faith, as stated above ([2426]Q[1], AA[1],7), it follows that, if we presuppose faith in God, whereby man’s mind is subjected to Him, it is possible for precepts to be given about other articles of faith. Thus Augustine expounding the words: “This is My commandment” (Jn. 15:12) says (Tract. lxxxiii in Joan.) that we have received many precepts of faith. In the Old Law, however, the secret things of faith were not to be set before the people, wherefore, presupposing their faith in one God, no other precepts of faith were given in the Old Law. Reply to Objection 1: Faith is necessary as being the principle of spiritual life, wherefore it is presupposed before the receiving of the Law. Reply to Objection 2: Even then Our Lord both presupposed something of faith, namely belief in one God, when He said: “You believe in God,” and commanded something, namely, belief in the Incarnation whereby one Person is God and man. This explanation of faith belongs to the faith of the New Testament, wherefore He added: “Believe also in Me.” Reply to Objection 3: The prohibitive precepts regard sins, which corrupt virtue. Now virtue is corrupted by any particular defect, as stated above ([2427]FS, Q[18], A[4], ad 3; [2428]FS, Q[19], A[6], ad 1, A[7], ad 3). Therefore faith in one God being presupposed, prohibitive precepts had to be given in the Old Law, so that men might be warned off those particular defects whereby their faith might be corrupted. Reply to Objection 4: Confession of faith and the teaching thereof also presuppose man’s submission to God by faith: so that the Old Law could contain precepts relating to the confession and teaching of faith, rather than to faith itself. Reply to Objection 5: In this passage again that faith is presupposed whereby we believe that God is; hence it begins, “Ye that fear the Lord,” which is not possible without faith. The words which follow—“believe Him”—must be referred to certain special articles of faith, chiefly to those things which God promises to them that obey Him, wherefore the passage concludes—“and your reward shall not be made void.” Whether the precepts referring to knowledge and understanding were fittingly set down in the Old Law?Objection 1: It would seem that the precepts referring to knowledge and understanding were unfittingly set down in the Old Law. For knowledge and understanding pertain to cognition. Now cognition precedes and directs action. Therefore the precepts referring to knowledge and understanding should precede the precepts of the Law referring to action. Since, then, the first precepts of the Law are those of the decalogue, it seems that precepts of knowledge and understanding should have been given a place among the precepts of the decalogue.
From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)
He had become the greatest vote counter in the history of the Senate, able to predict the results of almost any Senate vote with astounding accuracy. He shared with Humphrey his vote-counting method. Finally, he taught Humphrey the power he could have by compromising, by being more pragmatic and less idealistic. He would share with him stories about FDR, Humphrey’s hero. When Johnson was in the House of Representatives, he had become close friends with the president. FDR, according to Johnson, was a consummate politician who knew how to get things done by retreating tactically and even compromising. The subtext here was that Johnson was really a closet liberal who also idolized FDR and who wanted just as much as Humphrey to pass a civil rights bill. They were both on the same side, fighting for the same noble causes. Working with Johnson, there was no limit to how high Humphrey could rise within the Senate and beyond. As Johnson had correctly guessed, Humphrey had presidential ambitions. Johnson himself could never become president, or so he said to Humphrey, because the nation was not ready for a president from the South. But he could help Humphrey get there. Together they would make an unbeatable team. What sealed the deal for Humphrey, however, was how Johnson proceeded to make his life easier within the Senate. Johnson talked to his fellow southern Democrats about Humphrey’s intelligence and humor, how they had misread him as a man. Having softened them up in this way, Johnson then reintroduced Humphrey to these senators, who found him charming. Most important of all, he got Russell to change his mind—and Russell could move mountains. Now that he was sharing drinks with the more powerful senators, Humphrey’s loneliness faded away. He felt compelled to return the favor and to get many northern liberals to change their minds about Johnson, whose influence was now beginning to spread like an invisible gas. In 1952 the Republicans swept into power with the election of Dwight D. Eisenhower as president, taking in the process control of the Senate and the House. One of the casualties in the election was Ernest McFarland of Arizona, the former Democratic leader in the Senate. Now that the leadership position was vacant, the scrambling for his replacement began. Johnson suggested that Russell himself take the position, but Russell declined. He could have more power operating behind the scenes. Instead he told Johnson he should be the next leader, and Russell could make it happen. Johnson, acting surprised, said he would consider it, but only if Russell would remain the Old Master and advise Johnson every step of the way. He did not have to say another word.
From Blue Like Jazz (2003)
“Why aren’t you giving any money to the church?” “Because I don’t have any money. Everything goes to rent and groceries.” “That sounds like a tough situation,” he said, very compassionately. “So am I exempt?” I asked. “Nope,” he said. “We want your cash.” “How much?” I asked. “How much do you make?” “I don’t know. About a thousand a month, maybe.” “Then we want a hundred. And you should also know how much you make. Part of the benefit of giving a portion of your money is it makes you think about where your money goes. God does not want us to be sloppy with our finances, Don.” “But I need money for rent.” “You also need to trust God.” “I know. I just think it would be easier to trust God if I had extra money to trust Him with.” “That would not be faith, then, would it?” “No.” “Well, bud, I just want you to know I hate this part of the job, ‘cause it sounds like I am asking for your money. I don’t care whether or not we have your money. Our needs are met. I want to tell you that you are missing out on so much, Don.” “So much what?” “The fruit of obedience,” he said, looking very pastoral. “When we do what God wants us to do, we are blessed, we are spiritually healthy. God wants us to give a portion of our money to His work on earth. By setting aside money from every check, you are trusting God to provide. He wants you to get over that fear—that fear of trusting Him. It is a scary place, but that is where you have to go as a follower of Christ. There are times when my wife and I don’t have enough money to cover bills, but we know the first bill, the first payment we make, is to the church. That is most important. If the other bills get neglected, then we need to watch how we are spending money. And there are times when we have found ourselves in that situation. But it works out. We are getting good at trusting God, and we are getting good at managing money.” The next week I emptied my checking account, which had about eight dollars in it, and I gave it to the church. Another check came a few days later, and I gave 10 percent of that to the church, then I got another writing gig with a magazine in Atlanta, and as I deposited that check into my account I wrote a check to the church. One after another, I started getting called to speak at retreats and conferences that usually pay pretty well, and each time I would write a check to the church. Since then, since that conversation with Rick, I have given at least 10 percent of every dollar I make, just like Curt. And I have never not had rent.
From New Testament Words (1964)
The Targum, that is the authorized translation, of Job 33.23 says that in order to redeem man from going down into the pit, a special angelic agency, a mediator, an interpreter, a paraklētos is necessary. The later Rabbis wrote the word paraklētos in Hebrew letters and used it quite freely. ‘He who fulfils one precept of the Law gains for himself one paraklētos, advocate; he who commits one transgression gains to himself one katēgoros, accuser.’ ‘In the heavenly judgment a man’s paraklētoi, advocates, are repentance and good works.’ ‘All the righteousness and mercy which an Israelite doeth in the world, are great peace and great paraklētoi, advocates, between him and his Father in heaven.’ There is no doubt that this is the meaning of paraklētos in I John 2.1. Jesus is the prisoner’s friend. He is the one who will plead our cause. He is the one who will plead and intercede for us. He is the counsel for the defence. The Jew had the hopeless task of putting forward as his defence before God his own good works and his own obedience to the Law. The Christian has the supreme defence—the advocacy of Jesus Christ himself. It is he who ever liveth to make intercession for us. (iv) The meaning of advocate for the defence is both fitting and adequate for paraklētos in I John 2.1; but it is not so fitting in the Gospel. There the paraklētos is the Spirit of truth (14.16); there the Spirit is the interpreter and the teacher and the remembrancer (14.26); there the Spirit is the one who will testify of Christ (15.26); there the Spirit comes when Jesus goes away (16.7). In the Gospel, as Dr. G. H. C. Macgregor finely puts it, the Spirit is Christ’s alter ego. The paraklētos, the Spirit, is the constant, illuminating, strengthening, enabling presence of Jesus. Now it so happens that there is still another meaning of parakalein which will give us the key. Parakalein not infrequently means to exhort or to urge. It is used by Xenophon for exhorting men to the fairest deeds (Anabasis 3.1.24). It is used by Plato for exhorting men to apply their minds to think about things (Republic 535b); it is used by Isocrates of urging men to remember (3.12). It is fairly frequently used of inciting a person to a certain action or emotion. But above all parakalein is used of exhorting troops who are about to go into battle. Aeschylus (Persae 380) says of the ships sailing into battle; ‘The long galleys cheered (parakalein) each other, line by line.’ Euripides (Phoenissae 1254) describing the plans for battle says: ‘So did they hail them, cheering them to fight.’ Xenophon uses it of urging the soldiers to embark upon the ships and to set out on an adventurous voyage (Anabasis 5.6. 19).
From Paul and Matthew Among Jews and Gentiles: Essays in Honor of Terence L. Donaldson (2021)
will precede us, who remain alive, and we shall follow to meet them in the clouds. This news should console them (4:16–18). Paul closes the letter by reaffirming the main point (5:23–24): their spirit, mind, and body must be preserved “blamelessly intact at the arrival of our lord Jesus Christ. The one who cal s you is trustworthy. He will do this!” The entire letter, brief as it is, thus aims to consolidate Paul’s bond with those in Thessalonica who have trusted The Announcement. Having worried that their trust might have faltered, in the face of abuse from their townsfolk (2:17–3:5), he expresses joy at Timothy’s good report (3:1–12) and reassures them. What does this first letter say about Paul’s ethnos, its laws and customs? Nothing noticeable: no Torah, circumcision, covenant, scripture citations, Judaean tradition, calendar, or diet. It is not clear that anything in that vein would have been relevant to The Announcement. Scholars today know that Christos originates from Hebrew Mashiach or Messiah, but no such knowledge was necessary to understand this letter’s use of Christos. 49 Indeed, nothing that Paul says about Christ in this letter requires biblical knowledge. He does not speak in Septuagintal tones about “idols” as a self-evident evil, or mention the second commandment in 1:9–10. He frames his followers’ move from mere “representations” (εἴδωλα) to the “living and true” God, in language perfectly intelligible to Greeks. Philosophers had long since contemplated the true God as against mere representations. Greeks also knew about children of gods being restored after their death or removal to the underworld (Dionysus-Osiris, Attis, Persephone). Paul had only to convince such audiences that God had raised the crucified Jesus Christ from death and made him their lord who would soon return for them—a belief that Lucian would ridicule as compelling only to the gullible in his Passing of Peregrinus. This Paul succeeded in doing, with at least a few followers, and the claim formed the heart of The Announcement. Although 1 Thess makes no call on biblical knowledge, its incidental reference to Judaeans is revealing. Expatiating on the abuse that Christ-followers in Hel as must endure before Christ cal s them to heaven (1:6; 2:1; 3:3–4), Paul consoles them with 49 This is an evidential fact. Cf. Pliny, Ep. 10.96; Tacitus, Ann. 15.44; Suetonius, Claud. 25.4 (Chrestus); Josephus, Ant. 18.63 [whatever the original was]; 20.200. 29 Paul without Judaism 29
From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)
their real desires. They reflect in an immediate way people’s emotions and moods. To miss this information is to operate blindly, to invite misunderstanding, and to lose endless opportunities to influence people by not noticing the signs of what they really want or need. Your task is simple: First you must recognize your state of self- absorption and how little you actually observe. With this understanding you will be motivated to develop observation skills. Second you must understand, as Erickson did, the different nature of this form of communication. It requires opening up your senses and relating to people more on the physical level, absorbing their physical energy and not just their words. You do not simply observe their facial expression, but you register it from within, so that the impression stays with you and communicates. As you gain greater vocabulary in this language, you will be able to correlate a gesture with a possible emotion. As your sensitivity increases, you will begin to notice more and more of what you have been missing. And equally important, you will discover a new and deeper way of relating to people, with the increased social powers this will bring you. You wil always be the prey or the plaything of the devils and fools in this world, if you expect to see them going about with horns or jangling their bel s. And it should be borne in mind that, in their intercourse with others, people are like the moon: they show you only one of their sides. Every man has an innate talent for . . . making a mask out of his physiognomy, so that he can always look as if he real y were what he pretends to be . . . and its effect is extremely deceptive. He dons his mask whenever his object is to flatter himself into some one’s good opinion; and you may pay just as much attention to it as if it were made of wax or cardboard. —Arthur Schopenhauer Keys to Human Nature We humans are consummate actors. We learn at an early age how to get what we want from our parents by putting on certain looks that will elicit sympathy or affection. We learn how to conceal from our parents or siblings exactly what we’re thinking or feeling, to protect ourselves in vulnerable moments. We become good at flattering those whom it is important to win over—popular peers or teachers. We learn how to fit into the group by wearing the same clothes and speaking the same language. As we get older and strive to carve out a career, we learn how to create the proper front in order to be hired and to fit into a group culture. If we become an executive or a professor or a bartender, we must act the part. Imagine a person who never develops these acting skills, whose face instantly grimaces when he dislikes what you say or cannot
From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)
Behind this front he could observe people without seeming ambitious or aggressive. In this way he could slowly gain knowledge of the inner workings of the Senate—vote counting, how bills were actually passed—and insights into the various senators, their deepest insecurities and weaknesses. At some point, his deep understanding of the institution would translate into a commodity he could exchange for influence and favors. After several months of this campaign, he was able to alter the reputation he had had in the House. He no longer seemed a threat, and with the senators’ defenses down, Johnson could escalate his campaign. He turned his attention to winning over key allies. As he had always believed, having one key ally at or near the top of the hierarchy could move mountains. Early on he spotted Senator Russell as the perfect target—lonely, a believer in a cause without any real disciples, and very powerful. Johnson genuinely liked Russell, and he was always in search of father figures, but his attention and approach were highly strategic. He made sure he got appointed to the Armed Services Committee, where he would have the most access to Russell. Their constant encounters in the hallway or the cloakroom were rarely accidental. Without making it obvious, he slowly increased the hours they spent together. Johnson had never liked baseball and could care less about the Civil War, but he quickly learned to cultivate an interest in both. He mirrored back to Russell his own conservative values and work ethic and made the lonely senator feel like he had not only a friend but a worshipping son and disciple. Johnson was careful to never ask for favors. Instead he quietly did favors himself for Russell, helping him to modernize his staff. When Johnson finally wanted something, such as the chairmanship of the subcommittee, he would insinuate his desire rather than directly express it. Russell would come to see him as an extension of his own political ambitions, and at that point he would do almost anything for his acolyte. Within a few years, word got around that Johnson was a masterful vote counter and had inside knowledge on various senators, the kind of information that could be extremely useful when trying to get a bill passed. Now senators would come to him for this information, and he would share it with the understanding that at some point he would expect favors in return. Slowly his influence was spreading, but he realized that his desire to have the dominant position within his party and the Senate had one major obstacle—the northern liberals. Once again, Johnson chose the perfect target—Senator Humphrey. He read him as a man who was lonely, in need of validation, but who was also tremendously ambitious. The way to Humphrey’s heart was threefold: make him feel liked, confirm his belief that he was presidential material, and give him the practical tools to realize his ambitions.
From In an Unspoken Voice (2010)
In addition, the social engagement system is intrinsically self-calming and is, therefore, built-in protection against one’s organism being “hijacked” by the sympathetic arousal system and/or frozen into submission by the more primitive emergency shutdown system. The social engagement branch of the nervous system is probably both cardioprotective and immuno-protective. This may be why individuals with strong personal affiliations live longer, healthier lives. They also maintain sharper cognitive skills into old age. Indeed, one study examining the effects of playing bridge in reducing dementia symptoms concluded that the main independent variable was socialization (rather than computational skills per se).‡ And, finally, to be engaged in the social world is not only to be engaged in the here and now, but also to feel a sense of both belonging and safety. So, ultimately freeing clients from the repercussive isolation that fear and immobility create has the potential of bringing not only freedom from debilitating symptoms, but also the potential to generate energy into the establishment of satisfying connections and relationships. * This is a method I have developed over the past forty years.† It is not clear when fighting or succumbing is the best survival strategy for rape. A dependent child experiencing molestation, however, really has little choice but to succumb.‡ The so-called 90+ study at the University of Southern California began in 1981. It has included more than 14,000 people aged 65 and older and more than 1,000 aged 90 or older. Dr. Kawas, a senior investigator, concluded, “Interacting with people regularly, even strangers, uses easily as much brain power as doing puzzles, and it wouldn’t surprise me if this is what it’s all about.”CHAPTER 6 A Map for TherapyThe map may not be the territory, but it sure helps you to get around. —Me (PAL) Ancient Unspoken VoicesJust as maps are useful in finding a particular part of the city, maps of the human organism* are important in navigating the landscape of trauma and informing its healing. The groundbreaking work of Stephen Porges, director of the Brain Body Center at the University of Illinois, Department of Psychiatry, has provided an eloquent, well-reasoned and broadly supported “treasure map” of the psychophysiological systems that govern the traumatic state. These same systems also mediate core feelings of goodness and belonging. Porges’s polyvagal theory of emotion58 illuminates the pathways for recovery and integration described in Chapter 5. In addition, his model clarifies why certain common approaches to trauma psychotherapy frequently fail.
From In an Unspoken Voice (2010)
At the end of the breath, pause briefly and allow the next breath to slowly fill your belly and chest. When the in breath feels complete, pause, and again make the “voo” sound on the exhalation until it feels complete. It is important to let sound and breath expire fully , and then to pause and wait for the next breath to enter (be taken) on its own , when it is ready. Repeat this exercise several times and then rest. Next, focus your attention on your body, primarily on your abdomen, the internal cavity that holds your organs. This “sounding,” with its emphasis on both waiting and allowing, has multiple functions. First of all, directing the sound into the belly evokes a particular type of sensation while keeping the observing ego “online.” People often report various qualities of vibration and tingling, as well as changes in temperature–generally from cold (or hot) to cool and warm. These sensations are generally pleasant (with a little practice, at least). Most important, they contradict the twisted, agonizing, nauseating, deadening, numbing sensations associated with the immobility state. It seems likely that the change in the afferent messages (from organs to brain) allows the 90% of the sensory (ascending) vagus nerve to powerfully influence the 10% going from brain to organs so as to restore balance. v Porges concurs on this key regulatory system: “The afferent feedback from the viscera provides a major mediator of the accessibility of prosocial circuits associated with social engagement behaviors.” 78 The salubrious sensations evoked by the combination of breathing and the sound’s reverberations allow the individual to contact an inner security and trust along with some sense of orientation in the here and now. They also facilitate a degree of face-to-face, eye-to-eye, voice-to-ear, I-thou contact and thus make it possible for the client to negotiate a small opening into the “social engagement system,” which is then able to help him or her to develop a robust resilience through increasing cycles of sympathetic arousal (charge) and discharge and thereby to deepen regulation and relaxation. Charles Darwin, I can happily imagine, would have knowingly winked his approval at the “voo” clinical application of his astute, anatomical and physiological 1872 observation. Another exercise can provide clients with a way to manage and regulate distressing arousal symptoms. This “self-help” technique is taken from a system of “energy flows” called Jin Shin Jyutsu. w Figures 6.5A – D demonstrate a simple Jin Shin sequence to help clients learn to regulate their arousal and deepen their relaxation. 79 Again, I suggest that therapists experiment first on themselves before teaching these exercises to their clients. Encourage your clients to practice at home, first at times when they are not upset and then when they are. Each position can be maintained for two to ten minutes. What the client looks for is a sensation of either energy flow or relaxation.
From In an Unspoken Voice (2010)
Certain Tibetan chants have been used successfully for thousands of years. In my practice, I use a sound borrowed (with certain modifications) from some of these chants. This sound opens, expands and vibrates the viscera in a way that provides new signals to a shut-down or overstimulated nervous system. The practice is quite simple: make an extended “voooo …” (soft o, like ou in you) sound, focusing on the vibrations stimulated in the belly as you complete a full expiration of breath. In introducing the “voo” sound to my clients, I often ask them to imagine a foghorn in a foggy bay sounding through the murk to alert ship captains that they are nearing land, and to guide them safely home. This image works on different levels. First of all, the image of the fog represents the fog of numbness and dissociation. The foghorn represents the beacon that guides the lost boat (soul) back to safe harbor, to home in breath and belly. This image also inspires the client to take on the hero role of protecting sailors and passengers from imminent danger, as well as giving him or her permission to be silly and thereby play. Most important are the image’s physiological effects. The sound vibrations of “voo” enliven sensations from the viscera, while the full expiration of the breath produces the optimal balance of oxygen and carbon dioxide.77 Begin the exercise by finding a comfortable place to sit. Then slowly inhale, pause momentarily, and then, on the out breath, gently utter “voo,” sustaining the sound throughout the entire exhalation. Vibrate the sound as though it were coming from your belly. At the end of the breath, pause briefly and allow the next breath to slowly fill your belly and chest. When the in breath feels complete, pause, and again make the “voo” sound on the exhalation until it feels complete. It is important to let sound and breath expire fully, and then to pause and wait for the next breath to enter (be taken) on its own, when it is ready. Repeat this exercise several times and then rest. Next, focus your attention on your body, primarily on your abdomen, the internal cavity that holds your organs. This “sounding,” with its emphasis on both waiting and allowing, has multiple functions. First of all, directing the sound into the belly evokes a particular type of sensation while keeping the observing ego “online.” People often report various qualities of vibration and tingling, as well as changes in temperature–generally from cold (or hot) to cool and warm. These sensations are generally pleasant (with a little practice, at least). Most important, they contradict the twisted, agonizing, nauseating, deadening, numbing sensations associated with the immobility state. It seems likely that the change in the afferent messages (from organs to brain) allows the 90% of the sensory (ascending) vagus nerve to powerfully influence the 10% going from brain to organs so as to restore balance.v
From Paul and Matthew Among Jews and Gentiles: Essays in Honor of Terence L. Donaldson (2021)
Their faith comes not as a result of abstract logic but out of experience with the covenantal God. Faith is seen as trust and commitment to the covenant relationship between God and the people of the covenant. God’s covenant with Abraham is based on God’s grace to provide land and nationhood to Abraham’s descendants. God has freely chosen one man and his descendants through whom “all the families of the earth will be blessed” (Jub. 12:23). Abraham believed and trusted in God and it was reckoned to him as faithfulness. Faith and obedience are, in this sense, two sides of the same coin. Thus the one calling himself a Jew must exercise his faith in God and the Torah so that he or she may remain faithful to the covenant. The faith and obedience required of the people of God has also a creational ideal of commitment to God the creator, rather than the created order. If Adam and Eve failed to remain in this setting of believing-obedience, Israel must avoid this path by living in complete devotion to Yahweh. Their salvation must be seen not in any meritorious work but in love, in obedience, in a heart entirely devoted to pleasing God. E. P. Sanders is on target when he concludes that in the book of Jubilees: Salvation is given graciously by God in his establishing the covenant with the fathers, a covenant which he will not forsake (I.18); individuals may, however, be excluded from Israel if they sin in such a way as to spurn the covenant itself. Those who are faithful and do not sin in such a way and who confess and repent for their transgressions constitute a kind of “true Israel,” although the term is not employed. 11 9 The translator of this book in The Old Testament Pseudepigrapha states this in the footnote to the title: “In order to provide a chronological framework for dealing with events covering a long period of time, the author has used a system based on multiples of seven, the number of days in the week. Seven years are treated as a week of years, and seven weeks of years equal a jubilee.” See Charlesworth, The Old Testament Pseudepigrapha, Vol. 2, 52 n. 1b.
From The Boys of My Youth (1998)
We have a genial relationship these days, reading the paper together in the mornings, congratulating ourselves on each issue of the journal. It’s a space physics quarterly and he’s the editor and I’m the managing editor. I know nothing about the science part; my job is to shepherd the manuscripts through the review process and create a journal out of the acceptable ones. Christoph Goertz. He’s hip in a professorial kind of way, tall and lanky and white-haired, forty-seven years old, with an elegant trace of accent from his native Germany. He has a great dog, a giant black outlaw named Mica who runs through the streets of Iowa City at night, inspecting garbage. She’s big and friendly but a bad judge of character and frequently runs right into the arms of the dog catcher. Chris is always bailing her out. “They don’t understand dogs,” he says. I spend more time with Chris than I ever did with my husband. The morning I told him I was being dumped he was genuinely perplexed. “He’s leaving you? ” he asked. Chris was drinking coffee, sitting at his table in front of the chalkboard. Behind his head was a chalk drawing of a hip, professorial man holding a coffee cup. It was a collaborative effort; I drew the man and Chris framed him, using brown chalk and a straightedge. The two-dimensional man and the three-dimensional man stared at me intently. “He’s leaving you? ” And for an instant I saw myself from their vantage point across the room — Jo Ann — and a small bubble of self-esteem percolated up from the depths. Chris shrugged. “You’ll do fine,” he said. During my current turmoils, I’ve come to think of work as my own kind of zen practice, the constant barrage of paper hypnotic and soothing. Chris lets me work an erratic, eccentric schedule, which gives me time to pursue my nonexistent writing career. In return I update his publications list for him and listen to stories about outer space. Besides being an editor and a teacher, he’s the head of a theoretical plasma physics team made up of graduate students and research scientists. During the summers he travels all over the world telling people about the magnetospheres of various planets, and when he comes back he brings me presents — a small bronze box from Africa with an alligator embossed on the top, a big piece of amber from Poland with the wings of flies preserved inside it, and, once, a set of delicate, horrifying bracelets made from the hide of an elephant. Currently he is obsessed with the dust in the plasma of Saturn’s rings. Plasma is the fourth state of matter. You’ve got your solid, your liquid, your gas, and then your plasma. In outer space there’s the plasmasphere and the plasmapause. I like to avoid the math when I can and put a layperson’s spin on these things. “Plasma is blood,” I told him.
From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)
use for their purposes. They can draw us in with their unusual energy, but if we become enmeshed, it can be a nightmare to disengage. They are masters at turning the tables and making others feel guilty. Narcissistic leaders are the most dangerous of all, and we must resist their pull and see through the façade of their apparent creativity. Knowing how to handle the deep narcissists in our lives is an important art for all of us. Second, we must be honest about our own nature and not deny it. We are all narcissists. In a conversation we are all champing at the bit to talk, to tell our story, to give our opinion. We like people who share our ideas—they reflect back to us our good taste. If we happen to be assertive, we see assertiveness as a positive quality because it is ours, whereas others, more timid, will rate it as obnoxious and value introspective qualities. We are all prone to flattery because of our self-love. Moralizers who try to separate themselves and denounce the narcissists in the world today are often the biggest narcissists of them all—they love the sound of their voice as they point fingers and preach. We are all on the spectrum of self-absorption . Creating a self that we can love is a healthy development, and there should be no stigma attached to it. Without self-esteem from within, we would fall into deep narcissism. But to move beyond functional narcissism, which should be our goal, we must first be honest with ourselves. Trying to deny our self-absorbed nature, trying to pretend we are somehow more altruistic than others, makes it impossible for us to transform ourselves. Third and most important, we must begin to make the transformation into the healthy narcissist . Healthy narcissists have a stronger, even more resilient sense of self. They tend to hover closer to the top of the scale. They recover more quickly from any wounds or insults. They do not need as much validation from others. They realize at some point in life that they have limits and flaws. They can laugh at these flaws and not take slights so personally. In many ways, by embracing the full picture of themselves, their self-love is more real and complete. From this stronger inner position, they can turn their attention outward more often and more easily. This attention goes in one of two directions, and sometimes both. First, they are able to direct their focus and their love into their work, becoming great artists, creators, and inventors. Because their outward focus on the work is more intense, they tend to be successful in their ventures, which gives them the necessary attention and validation. They can have moments of doubt and insecurity, and artists can be notoriously brittle, but work stands as a continual release from too much self-absorption. The other direction healthy narcissists take is toward people, developing empathic powers. Imagine empathy as the realm lying at
From Martin Luther (2016)
An early portrait of 1509 shows Spalatin with delec- table curls, dressed in a simple grey gown with a black lining which combines academic reserve with courtly display. A woodcut from 1515 depicts a serious young man in sober garb, meditating on the Cross. But Spalatin was not a courtier by birth. His father was a tanner, and he came from Spalt near Nuremberg. One of the ‘new men’, he had risen through education. He joined the court but knew that, as a - commoner, he was not an aristocrat’s equal; there was also specula- tion that he may have been illegitimate. While he was a trusted servant and important advisor — and on occasion intimate enough to be present when the Elector did his toilette before dinner — he was not invited to join the table afterwards.* Spalatin seems to have had a sure touch for negotiation and manoeuvre, a grasp of the possible and a sense of realism which Luther lacked. Like Luther he was educated in Greek as well as Latin, and he became part of the humanist circles around Conrad Mutian and Nikolaus Marschalk at the University of Erfurt. He did not possess Luther’s abrasive self-confidence, and was a poor speaker. But the two men formed a hugely creative partnership. Spalatin bought books for the university library and supported university reforms that brought in biblical studies and those of the Church Fathers. Together they made a series of brilliant appointments, of whom Melanchthon was the star. Repeatedly Luther would recommend people to Spalatin, asking for small favours, pensions from Friedrich or seeking posts for them. Spalatin worked tirelessly in the service of the Elector, often late into the night; he nevertheless found time to translate Luther’s Latin works into German, and did so with a fine musical sense.? We have just Luther’s side of the friendship, because it is only his letters that have survived — carefully catalogued and reverentially THE DIET OF WORMS 175 34. Lucas Cranach the Elder, Georg Spalatin Honouring the Cross, 1515. annotated, often in Greek, by Spalatin.° As the sheer number of Luther’s letter indicates — over 400 — this was perhaps the central rela- tionship in his life in between 1518 and 1525: he wrote more letters to Spalatin than to anyone else, even though they saw each other regularly.