Sadness

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

Page 169 of 212 · 20 per page

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  will act, it gradually assumed the character of a fixed custom and ordinance of the church. Respecting the length of the season much difference prevailed, until Gregory I. (590–604) fixed the Wednesday of the sixth week before Easter, Ash Wednesday as it is called,735 as the beginning of it. On this day the priests and the people sprinkled themselves with dust and ashes, in token of their perishableness and their repentance, with the words: "Remember, O man, that dust thou art, and unto dust thou must return; repent, that thou mayest inherit eternal life." During Quadragesima criminal trials and criminal punishments, weddings, and sensual amusements were forbidden; solemn, earnest silence was imposed upon public and private life; and works of devotion, penances and charity were multiplied. Yet much hypocrisy was practised in the fasting; the rich compensating with exquisite dainties the absence of forbidden meats. Chrysostom and Augustine are found already lamenting this abuse. During the days preceding the beginning of Lent, the populace gave themselves up to unrestrained merriment, and this abuse afterward became legitimized in all Catholic countries, especially in Italy (flourishing most in Rome, Venice, and Cologne), in the Carnival.736 The six Sundays of Lent are called Quadragesima prima, secunda, and so on to sexta. They are also named after the initial words of the introit in the mass for the day: Invocabit (Ps. xci. 15), Reminiscere, (Ps. xxv. 6), Oculi (Ps. xxxiv. 15), Laetare (Is. lxvi. 10), Judica (Ps. xliii. 1), Palmarum (from Matt. xxi. 8). The three Sundays preceding Quadragesima are called respectively Estomihi (from Ps. xxxi. 2) or Quinquagesima (i.e., Dominica quinquagesimae diei, viz., before Easter), Sexagesima, and Septuagesima; which are, however, inaccurate designations. These three Sundays were regarded as preparatory to the Lenten season proper. In the larger cities it became customary to preach daily during the Quadragesimal fast; and the usage of daily Lenten sermons (Quadragesimales, or sermones Quadragesimales) has maintained itself in the Roman church to this day. The Quadragesimal fast culminates in the Great, or Silent, or Holy Week,737 which is especially devoted to the commemoration of the passion and death of Jesus, and is distinguished by daily public worship, rigid fasting, and deep silence. This week, again, has its prominent days. First Palm Sunday,738 which has been, in the East since the fourth century, in the West since the sixth, observed in memory of the entry of Jesus into Jerusalem for His enthronement on the cross. Next follows Maundy Thursday,739 in commemoration of the institution of the Holy Supper, which on this day was observed in the evening, and was usually connected with a love feast, and also with feet-washing.

• From H Is for Hawk (2014)

  And again. High-jumping like this is an old falconer’s way of manning and muscling-up a hawk in relatively enclosed spaces; it’s good exercise for the hawk and fun to do. It is also hard to do: Mabel is frighteningly fast. It is far from my walks with the hawk along twilit streets. There is something of the street performance about it, and it brings in the crowds. They stand, tonight, in a loose semi-circle twenty feet away. A mother crouches by her child, pointing at the hawk. ‘Isn’t it regal?’ she breathes. Mabel is far from regal; she’s gulping down bits of day-old chick with strange choking squeals. Next to the mother and child is a bus driver on his way to the depot, two hooded teenagers, and a girl taking pictures on her mobile phone. But they don’t bother me, because I’m concentrating on this. Grass, glove. Grass, glove. Grass, glove, grass. The rhythm becomes a heartbeat. The crowds recede. Then I come down with a fever. The sickness defeats all purpose, all purchase on the hawk. I feed her on the sofa, put her back on her perch and watch her drift into the place where goshawks go when they’ve eaten. It is very far away. I wave my hand in front of her face. She appears not to see it at all. Her eyes seem as remote from thought or emotion as a metal dish or a patch of sky. What is she thinking? What is she seeing? I wonder. I shut my eyes and guess. Blood, I am sure. Smoke, branches, wet feathers. Snow. Pine needles. More blood. I shiver. And the days pass and the fever continues. The rain continues. It dampens the house. Wide parchment stains bleed across the wall in the hall and front room. The house smells of stagnant water in the coal- cellar, hawk mutes, and dust. Nothing is moving, nothing improving, nothing heading anywhere. I am packing up boxes to leave, still not knowing where I’d live when the house was gone. In a fit of bitter misery I make a fort out of an old cardboard wardrobe box in the spare room upstairs and crawl inside. It is dark. No one can see me. No one knows where I am. It is safe here. I curl up in the box to hide. Even in my state of sickness I know this is more than a little strange. I am not going mad, I tell myself. I’m ill. That is all. 17 Heat The days of rain are followed by heat and insomnia and white nights that go on for ever. Outside at three in the morning a woman is calling ‘William! William!’, over and over again in a hoarse, stagey whisper.

• From Tipping the Velvet (1998)

  I told her you’ll be coming to see us, but - well - she’s that stubborn.’ ‘Stubborn?’ I said, as if amazed. ‘Not our Gracie?’ I took a step towards her and reached out a hand. With something like a yelp she thrust me away, and shuffled to the furthest end of the sofa, her head all the time kept at its stiff, unnatural angle. She had never shown me such displeasure before; when I spoke to her next it was with real feeling. ‘Ah, now don’t be like that, Gracie, please. Won’t you give me a word, or a kiss, before I go? Won’t you shake hands with me, even? I shall miss you, so; and I should hate us to part on bad terms, after all our fun together.’ And I went on in this fashion, half entreating, half reproachful, until Mrs Milne rose and touched my shoulder, and said quietly, ‘Best leave her, Nance, and be on your way. You come back and see her another day; she’ll’ve come round by then, I don’t doubt it.’ So I had to leave, in the end, without Grace’s good-bye kiss. Her mother accompanied me to the front door, where we stood awkwardly before the Light of the World and the blue effeminate idol, she with her arms folded over her bosom, me hung with bags, and still clad in my scarlet duds. ‘I’m sorry, Mrs M, that this has been so sudden,’ I tried; but she hushed me. ‘Never mind, dear. You must go your own way.’ She was too kind to be stern for long. I said that I had left my room in order; that I would send her my address (I never did, I never did!); and lastly that she was the best landlady in the city, and that if her next girl did not appreciate her I would make it my business to find out why. She smiled in earnest then, and we hugged. Yet, as we drew apart, I could sense that something was troubling her; and as I stood on the step for my final farewell, she spoke. ‘Nance,’ she said, ‘don’t mind me asking, but - this friend: it is a girl, ain’t it?’ I snorted. ‘Oh, Mrs Milne! Did you really think - ? Did you really think that I would - ?’ That I would set up house with a man, was what she meant: me, with my trousers and my barbered hair! She blushed. ‘I just thought,’ she said. ‘A girl can get herself hooked up by a feller, these days, quicker’n that. And what with you moving out so sudden, I was half convinced you’d let some gentleman or other make you a pile of promises. I should’ve known better.’

• From Generation Anxiety: A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Staying Afloat in an Uncertain World (2023)

  It’s a whole other thing to meet them face-to-face. When I first read Colleen’s form, I could tell she was hurting. She met the usual criteria on the Beck Depression Inventory (BDI): lack of sleep, difficulty eating, feeling guilty about anything and everything. She also endorsed some passive suicidal ideation, having thoughts such as “It’d be easier if I weren’t alive.” She struggled with anxiety as well, noting that she desperately worried about her future and whether or not people liked her. Seeing her in my office, though, was a whole different story. Identifying as a bisexual, cisgender, Taiwanese woman, she had long, dark hair that framed her face. She was polished in every sense of the word—her clothes, her nails, her shoes—and looked immaculate from head to toe. But it was when she glanced up that I could see the tears silently cascading down her cheeks. Colleen had lived a storied life. She had been brought to the United States as a child from Taiwan, though she had no conscious memory of this move. Before long, her parents left her in her aunt’s hands, as neither of them seemed to want the “obligation” of taking care of her. For years, Colleen had to bear the emotional and physical burdens of living under her aunt’s roof. Because of the simple fact that she was born female, she was treated as lesser-than in her family. She was held up against her two older brothers, and while they would get to play video games and relax, Colleen did all the chores. When she didn’t do things perfectly, her aunt would yell at her and hit her. She would call her “worthless” and a “mistake.” Sometimes, her aunt would even lock her up in the basement, in the dark, for hours on end to punish her. It broke my heart to hear that Colleen had lived in this torture for years. Colleen told me that she would dress herself up daily in a smile and would act like “everything was fine.” Her aunt would hit her in places where people wouldn’t see, so no one knew how she was abusing her. Adding to the pain, she didn’t have many friends. As a bisexual Taiwanese woman, she told me that people at school would often bully her. In her words, growing up in a mostly Chinese community, she didn’t feel accepted by her peers—especially given the history between Taiwan and mainland China. One of her strengths, though, as she got older was that she marched to the beat of her own drum. She didn’t shape-shift to meet other people’s expectations of her. She wore bold clothes. She spoke her mind.

• From Tipping the Velvet (1998)

  Surely somebody here must know.’ The lady seemed surprised. ‘Well,’ she said slowly, ‘perhaps we do ... But I cannot really give that sort of detail out, you know, to strangers.’ She thought for a moment. ‘Could you not write her a letter, and let us forward it ... ?’ I shook my head, and felt my eyes begin to prick. She must have seen, and misunderstood, for she said then, rather gently: ‘Ah - perhaps you’re not very handy with a pen ... ?’ I would have admitted to anything, for the sake of a kind word. I shook my head again: ‘Not very, no.’ She was silent for a moment. Perhaps she thought, that there could be nothing very sinister about my quest, if I could not even read or write. At any rate, she rose at last and said, ‘Wait here.’ Then she left the room and entered another, across the hall. The sound of the typewriter grew louder for a second, then ceased altogether; in its place I heard the murmur of voices, the prolonged rustling of paper, and finally the slam of a cabinet drawer. The lady reappeared, bearing a white page - a letter, by the look of it - in her hand. ‘Success! Thanks to Miss Derby’s beautiful clerking system we have tracked your Florence - or, at least, a Florence - down; she left here just before both Miss Bennet and I began, in 1892. However’ - she grew grave -‘we really do not think that we can give you her own address; but she left here to work at a home for friendless girls, and we can tell you where that is. It’s a place called Freemantle House, on the Stratford Road.’ A home for friendless girls! The very idea of it made me tremble and grow weak. ‘That must be her,’ I said. ‘But - Stratford ? So far?’ I shifted my feet beneath my chair, and felt the leather slide against my bleeding heels. The boots themselves were thick with mud; my skirt had gained a frill of filth, six inches deep, at the hem. Against the window there came the spatter of rain. ‘Stratford,’ I said again, so miserably that the woman drew near and put her hand upon my arm. ‘Have you not the fare?’ she asked gently. I shook my head. ‘I have lost all my money. I have lost everything!’ I placed a hand over my eyes, and leaned in utter weariness against the desk. As I did so, I saw what lay upon it. It was the letter. The lady had placed it there, face upwards, knowing - thinking - that I could not read it. It was very brief; it was signed by Florence herself - Florence Banner, I now saw her full name to be - and was addressed to Miss Derby. Please accept notice of my resignation... it ran. I didn’t read that part.

• From Generation Anxiety: A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Staying Afloat in an Uncertain World (2023)

  His hand couldn’t be forced. No amount of friendship or money from Jessie could guarantee that he would make different choices moving forward. She could of course let him know that she was there for him, but she ultimately had to accept that Tony had to live his own life—she couldn’t live it for him. Part of acceptance is acknowledging that others may continue to inflict pain on themselves, even if they know it pains you to see it. Most of the time, they’re not doing this with malicious intent. Their goal isn’t to hurt you. It’s just that sometimes, their pain is so great that it ricochets onto others—and you might be in the line of fire. While we can’t always stop the fire from coming, we can at least get some protective gear. More on that later. For the person using or harming themselves, they often feel a sense of powerlessness similar to yours. They may very well want the maladaptive behaviors to change and yet, even with the best of intentions, the cycle continues. In fact, 75 percent of those struggling with addiction will relapse within the first year. 105 One study found that 35 to 41 percent of eating disorder recovery clients relapse after completing treatment. 106 Even if the desire to get better is there, sometimes will-power is not enough. There can be a constant battle with biology, and when this happens, it doesn’t mean that your friend or family member doesn’t love you enough to want to recover. All the love in the world can be there—it’s just that the addiction and/or the mental illness is that powerful. It’s likely not about you—even though it can feel so personal. At the same time, it’s not foolish to hope that it can get better. While I said about 75 percent of people relapse in the first year, the CDC and the National Institute on Drug Abuse in 2020 found that 75 percent also go on to fully recover. 107 That’s promising news given that 9 percent of adults in the United States are currently in recovery from a substance-use disorder. 108 There are also hopeful statistics when it comes to suicidality. Nine out of ten people who attempt suicide will survive and not die by suicide at a later time. 109 This shows that suicidal ideation does not last forever and the intensity of the pain can pass. It’s impossible to predict the future, though. While we don’t even know what our own future holds, we surely don’t know what lies ahead for our loved ones. This unpredictability of possible pain can derail us and yet, we have to sit with the reality of it. That’s what acceptance is. On the note of suicide, take the fact that 60 percent of people who die by suicide did not make a previous attempt.

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  el הנה‎ vb. moan, growl, utter, speak, muse (only poet.) (onomatop.; NH 727 muse, speak, spell a word, so Aram. N37; lye muse, esp. Ethpa.; Ar. \<* satirize, insult, scold, also spell (borrowed mng.))—Qal Perf. 2 ms. 1°) consec. Jos 18; Is. וּהָנִיתִי 1435 הָנִיתִי‎ 6. ¥ 77°; Impf. TM 05 27+ 8%; 3 fs. TaN ¥ 35 +2t., אֶהְגָּה‎ y 637 1838", BT) 21+ 2t., IN Is167; 1392 Is59"; Inf. abs. 30 Is 59" ;— 1. of inarticulate sounds: a. growl, of lion growling over prey, sq. על‎ Is 41% b. groan, moan, in distress (like dove), abs., Is 38 59” (7392 339); sigh for (2) in sorrow, mourning, moan for Is 16’ ap DD), so also Je 48”. 2. utter, sq. acc. rei, 38%; subj. לְשין‎ Ib 27° )|| ץ (דבֶּר‎ 35" 71° Is 59°; subj. 1B ץ‎ 37% Pr 8’—cf. also sub Po. infr.; speak (abs.) W115 (2 instr.) 3. a. (soliloguize) medi- tate, muse, c. 2 rei, Jos 18 W 1? 63/ 77° 143°; 0. ace. Is 33%, subj. 22. b. imagine, devise, 0. 800. y 2) Pr 24? (subj. a); ce Inte Eninns (subj. 2d.) Po. Inf. abs. only abn iany הרל‎ PY Is 59" ₪ conceiving and an uttering, out of the heart, lying words (|| 71D) עשק‎ 127) ;— on form ef. [06"%%; but rd. rather 337) הרל‎ Qal Inf. abs. cf. Di; BaX®” retains MT & expl., as Qal Inf. pass. Hiph. Pt. pl. הַמִצפְצְפִים‎ DNDN Is 8" those that make chirpings and mutlerings, of necromancers and wizards. < Tan n.m.”*? a rumbling, growling, moaning :-- ה‎ abs. Ez 2"+42+t.;—1. a rum- bling, growling sound יצָא‎ YB’) Jb 37? of thunder, as sound going forth from God’s mouth. 2. a moaning וְהִי‎ ‘N DP Ez 2° lamentations and moaning and woe. P 2 mat 3. a sigh or moan, as transient, שנינל‎ SEP] MAW 90° we bring our years to an end as ₪ sigh, i.e. a fleeting sound (cf. RVm VB). n.f. meditation, musing, only estr.‏ הַגוּת ז פי (with firm — cf. StaS®e) sab my nian 7a‏ aay mouth 0 speak 0 and‏ 494 + תבוּנות the musing of my heart shall be understanding.‏ Tyan n.m. resounding music, medita- tion, musing ;—7 abs. ~ 9" 92%; estr. 120 19"; sf. DIV La3”;—1. resounding music ; “WREST ער עלי‎ 92* with sounding music upon the lyre (Che); ef. nbp ‘7 yo" (a musical direction, v. nbp). 2. meditation, musing yah {27} עו אֶמרידפִי‎ 19” the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart; also in bad sense = plotting DY IPT) MP NY La 3° the Lips of those rising against me, and their imagin- ing against me (|| מחשבתֶם‎ v"!; cf. I. 139 3 b).

• From Generation Anxiety: A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Staying Afloat in an Uncertain World (2023)

  Even though they had people offering to help them, Sam was pushing away this support at every turn. You might notice this about yourself as well. Maybe you don’t allow others to help you when you’re grieving or suffering because that means you would actually have time to slow down and be still. There would be room for you to feel your feelings—and the idea of that frightens you. But maybe we can start giving ourselves permission to accept assistance from others when it’s offered— or better yet, we can ask for it. It’s okay to ask for a hand; you’re not a burden or an inconvenience if you do. If others don’t have the bandwidth, it’s on them to assert the boundary. You don’t need to put that wall up in advance, though. Many of us have learned to hate resting and sitting with ourselves because we’re afraid of what we might find. We run from our feelings so often, as we’re afraid of their power and what the heck they could even be. Many of us sit in a state of well-placed and ever-present anxiety because it buffers any of the sadness, anger, or disappointment that could be simmering below. Even if grief gets loud enough that we actually have to pay attention to it, we feel like we need to move past it as soon as possible. We try to timeline our pain. We tell ourselves we should be “back to normal” as soon as possible. Heaven forbid we inconvenience someone or make another person feel uncomfortable by our grief. You need your self-care more than ever when you’re in a season of sadness, though. Putting a countdown clock on how much time you have to rest isn’t going to help. Take the time that you need. When you start should-ing on yourself by saying, “I should be over this by now,” or “I shouldn’t be so upset by this,” you’re only shaming yourself further. You feel how you feel. And that’s okay. After all, if a friend were grieving, would you say to them, “It’s been six months. Time’s up. Move on.” Probably not. So why are you putting these harsh parameters on yourself? You’re not impressive because you got through your grief the fastest. Sorry to tell you, but there’s no trophy for speediest griever. That’s a record you don’t want to hold. We’ve all collectively grieved in our own ways over the last few years. Whether we lost loved ones to COVID-19, didn’t get to walk at our graduation ceremony, or had to quit our jobs to stay home and care for our family, we all had our own unique losses. I can’t tell you how many times I would hear clients minimize their pain. They would say, “I shouldn’t be sad. Others have it so much worse than me.” Sure, there is always someone that has it “worse” than you. But are you sad?

• From The Four Vision Quests of Jesus (2015)

  Jesus prepares himself (with a final farewell dinner with his friends). He goes to a high and lonely place, he has his friends with him for support, and he receives a vision. What is intriguing, however, is the location. This is not a barren mountaintop. It is not a barren desert. The word garden from the Native American viewpoint is intriguing because Jesus chose to undertake this vision quest in a place lush with life. We do not need to imagine Gethsemane to be a manicured garden overflowing with flowers to get the point. Even if it was a place where olive trees grew in a small hilltop area, it was still garden-like in the presence (not the absence) of life. For a Native American Christian this symbolic location is crucial because our covenant is more focused on place than time. Location is everything. We are a people of sacred spaces.4 Where things happened is far more critical to us than when they happened. The old stereotype of a vague reference to “many moons ago” is actually true for us when it comes to acknowledging our relative spiritual disinterest in chronology; but ask us where a sacred place is and we can tell you down to the exact location. Like, for example, the Black Hills. The Native Messiah received his vision of death in the midst of life. The significance of this location is revealed when Jesus identifies his third vision quest as a “crying for a vision” beyond anything he has experienced before. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he says.5 From the Native viewpoint this tells us that the lament of the third vision quest is an ultimate expression of human need. As the Native Messiah, Jesus is asking God for a blessing of such proportions that it can fill every human desire. Just as in the Genesis accounts of First Man and First Woman, Jesus takes up the most ancient cry of the human species, the very primal reason for any sacrifice: an acknowledgment that humans are in need and that only God can meet that need. The axis mundi for an appeal of this magnitude is not just a single tree of life, it is a whole forest of trees, a garden like the one human beings first stepped into at the dawn of our consciousness. Gethsemane is the vision quest when Jesus takes on his role as a Sun Dancer. He lifts the cry of humanity for a blessing that will fulfill the needs of the People, once and for all. The Garden vision quest, therefore, is cosmic in dimension. It is “to the point of death.” No ordinary person could receive a vision to become a Sun Dancer to this level. The idea that one dance by one person could fulfill the deepest need of a crying humanity for all time is a sacrifice beyond precedent.

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  ag Ba duty (on יא ד ד=-3‎ NH Hiph. (of face) shew gloom; %* V1? be dark) ;— Qal Pf. consec. 17?) Mi 3°; 1s. ‘VR Je 8”, ete.; Pt. VIP ץ‎ 35%+4; pl. DWP Jb 5" 6% ;— be dark, of sky Je 4% (leaden-coloured, as with clouds, v. Hithp.), of sun and moon Jo 2% 4”; fig. of lack of revelation from ”, היום‎ pay וק'‎ Mi 3°; of turbid stream Jb 6"; fig. of mourning (prob. be squalid, of neglected person and dress of mourner, cf. 2819”) 16 8% 14° (vax, metaph. of gates); Jb 5" 30% (MBN NOI), y 35" 387 42" 432 Hiph. 1. darken: Pf. 1 s. consec. ‘VIP Ez 327 (obj. stars), cf. Impf. 1 s. sf. POY DPN 32° 2. cause to mourn לְבָנון‎ YOY TAPS) 31%, Hithp. 7% 3 pl. עָבִים‎ PND וְהשָמִיִם‎ 1 K 18% and the heavens grew dark with clouds. 1 קדרוּת‎ n.f. darkness, gloom ;— אַלְבֶּיש‎ קי‎ DY Is 50° (cf. /, Je 4% 1 K 18%; || pr). 1 קדרנית‎ adv. as mourners ;—Mal 3”. TIP n.pr.gent. (swarthy ? black-tented 9 ; Kydap: 1. tribe of nomads in Arab. desert Is 21° 42" (c. vb. fem.), 60, Je 2” 49% Ez 277; ess 15 217; ק'‎ “OTN שי‎ 120° Ct 1° (made of black goat-skins Jacob ®unemeben @.1 or black woven stuff Doughty 4" "* *7: sim. of swarthy hue). 2. ancestor of 1, son of Ishmael, Gn 25%=1 Ch 1°.—Cf. As. Kidru COT ®38 PlinX#®¥-1 42) Cedrei; also Sab. tribe- mame 7p Hal (cf. DH זו‎ 236 ===7 089).14) n.pr. of wady just 13. of Jerusalem‏ קררון1 PRE, ohh‏ 28 נחַל (Thes. turbidus) ;—'P‏ usu. as place for refuse 1 K 15%=2 Ch %‏ שרמות ק' K 23°*!? 2 Ch 29" 304, Je 31%; so‏ 2 mie 25°; Kedpav; cf. Robt™™ Goer! * Buh] Serer-s3 זנ‎ 3 (1898), 94 (Vv of foll.; poss. orig. idea of separa-‏ קדש tion, withdrawal (Baud Studien, ii 6 LCB Mar. 22, 1879, 1‏ RG sem: 1.140; eae tay NH=BH; Ph. wp holy,‏ sanctuary; As. kaddiu 11. 1, cleanse‏ מקדרש (Meissn$"""*), also kadistu, hierodule conse-‏ erated to I8tar (cf. AJerem™™""); Ar, (235‏ n.pr.mont. (Né** RSF" %); in Ar. other-‏ wise under infil. of Heb., so Eth.; cf. U wp in‏ der. spec. and deriv., Syr. wed consecrate, etc.;‏ id.; Aram. SYP, kico (ear- or‏ קדש Palm.‏ 871 wap nose-) ring, (orig. holy thing, Noé'~);—on whole subj. v. Baud No RS (reff. above), also LPS PP: Borah es dit cfr, ET ve Geeta

• From H Is for Hawk (2014)

  The incongruity. This. All this. I looked back at the office. Striplights and pinboards, coat-hooks and fax machines. Diaries and schedules. The offices of death. I felt laughter rising inside me. I tried to stifle it. It came out as a broken cough. This had happened before; once, on the morning Mum and I had to choose my father’s coffin, sitting in wing-back armchairs in the undertaker’s office before a small vase of salmon-coloured roses. Dim light. A cramped room. A stifling hush. The undertaker handed us a laminated folder, and it fell open onto a page of coffins painted with football colours, with photorealistic spitfires, golf-courses, saxophones and trains. We’d laughed then as I laughed now. The coffins, like the tie, made the small loves of life ridiculous in death, the business card made the memorial mundane. The laughter was because there was no way of incorporating these signs of life into the fact of death. I laughed because there was nothing else I could do. On the way home I felt a great and simple sadness. I missed my dad. I missed him very much. The train curved and sunlight fell against the window, obscuring the passing fields with a mesh of silver light. I closed my eyes against the glare and remembered the spider silk. I had walked all over it and had not seen it. I had not known it was there. It struck me then that perhaps the bareness and wrongness of the world was an illusion; that things might still be real, and right, and beautiful, even if I could not see them – that if I stood in the right place, and was lucky, this might somehow be revealed to me. And the sun on the glass and the memory of the shining field, and the awful laughter, and the kindness of that morning’s meeting must have thinned the armour of silence I’d worn for months, because the anger was quite gone now, and that evening as we drove to the hill, I said in a quiet voice, ‘Stuart, I’m not dealing very well with things at the moment.’ I said, ‘I think I’m a bit depressed.’ ‘You’ve lost your father, Helen,’ he said. ‘I’m training a gos. I suppose it’s quite stressful.’ ‘You’ve lost your father. And you’re doing OK with the gos,’ he added. ‘You might not see it, but you are. She’ll be flying free, soon. She’s nearly there, Helen. Don’t be so hard on yourself.’ I hadn’t told him everything. I hadn’t confessed the unpaid bills, the letters from the bank, the impossible nights, the mornings in tears. But I had told him something. I looked at Mabel. Her head drooped forward. She looked indescribably mournful in her hood. I stroked her craggy, snake-scale toes. She was asleep. I touched the hood, very gently, and felt the whole weight of her sinking, sleeping head against my fingers. Perhaps I should ask Stuart to take us home, I thought.

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  (Dr a wind that passeth away 2 e);‏ 78° ץש 5% שי Ts 38" (Di principle of life),‏ חיי רוּחי Jb £7? ga™ (ef. v®), Ieper ee‏ 9 4 סל esp.‏ FTW VIP FPS Ec 11% cf.‏ הָרוּח (wind Wild);‏ הָרוּח תָּשוּב אֶלֶהָאָלהִים אשר over ag. MINI‏ ;37 e. disembodied‏ ד ץ YN TPS FTA‏ ;127 nny‏ עַלפָּנִי being (dub., Di Du breath of wind):‏ Jb 4% +5. spirit as seat of emotion‏ יחלף a. desire (poss. 3 g), Is 26° (|| Y22).‏ :נפש= b. sorrow, trouble (prob. 3 e), Jb 7" (|| YB2).—‏ rSi%v. AYP. +6. occasionally (and late)‏ =seat or organ of mental acts, || 32, or synon.‏ Ex 28* Dt 34° (both P; prob.‏ רוּח with 16 : M23‏ g); OYA Is 29%, 61. Jb 20%)111 Bu Du wind‏ 3 of Job’s words), ~ 77’ (G Sym © Jer troubled‏ come into mind Ez‏ ;40% 15 רגּח יהוה disposition);‏ .7+ .10228% ;(-+3% 1865730 לב 20%(cf.‏ ,11° ”51 ץ רוח נְכוּן :לב = rarely of the will; also‏ Ex‏ נִדְבָה הוחו vs;‏ רוח NIB‏ ;(+*דָ8 22 נְכוּן = ) (PB; ef. 19 3%) Ex 35*5)2( 2 Ch 29).‏ 383 esp. of moral character; also == 1‏ 0 .8+ Is 597‏ ל רוּחַי nwan nn Ez te 183! abs‏ ; (ל 9 but prob. prophetic spirit‏ ; דּברי || ,17( Is 667; 041 (N37‏ 133 רוח ;”36 "18 Ez‏ כב vIn‏ Is 65!‏ מַשָבָר רו Is57%);‏ לב (cf. DNDD‏ 34% ¥ y 51 )| "BYP, of‏ רוח (cf. 8 5( ; MBVI‏ ab *JaY2 34” Is 61); 32? Prii™ 168 78°‏ 0 הי DE‏ רוח ;)16° Ma) Pr‏ לב Ee 78 (cf.‏ v5 (cf. 8 9. | +9. spirit‏ רוח שָפְּלִים ;57 15 of God )94 t.; not D or Je orany Deut. writer;‏ conception of its activity in inspiring prophecy‏ prob. discredited from abuse by false prophets,‏ as inspiring ecstatic state of‏ .₪ :(נבא ,נביא v.‏ (ef. v°),‏ 10% ₪ ד prophecy, Nu 117-629 (J),‏ as inciting to deeds of frenzy, in the‏ ;*19°° ר' ON‏ רְעָה ecstatic state; hence conceived as‏ צלח | ide‏ א' רְעָה =*וץ ר/ ny‏ מַאֶת ae‏ ו I S‏ 5 ר"א" ;"1 ר' י' (other narrative)="97‏ ”18 Pr 22-28‏ שֶקֶר=22% 1K‏ הָרוּחַ =a my v3 cf,‏ Ch18”7!2—" nN 1K 22%— 2 Ch 189: ef.‏ 2 == one‏ ,איש also (in earlier prophets) M77‏ possessed by the spirit in the ecstatic state,‏ Ho 97; “70 Mi 38 (|| 53) is prob. gloss‏ 8°33 || dealing with‏ 4 ; 'ס3 Ts‏ ולא רוּחִי (We Now);‏ Ezek.: Ez 2? 3''4* 85 111° (Co gloss), 37' 43°‏ (all implying ecstatic state of vision), cf. Elijah‏ 1K18"2K2". b. spirit as impelling proph.‏ to utter instruction or warning (higher and later‏ conception): transition prob. Nu 24? 28 23?‏ 1Ch12'8; elsewhere in Ch.: 2Ch15! 20% 24”;‏ distinctly in 18% 48", cf. 61’; so of ancient‏ ריח

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  Tra n.[m.]| ₪ weeping, only Ezr 10' בכו‎ ב/‎ maT העם‎ Ta n.m. “>? weeping—‘22 Ju 21°+ 20 +. (also estr. Dt 34°, ete:); 222 Gn 45°; ב‎ Is15° + 6t.; sf. 22 + 6—w ceping ץי‎ 30° Is 15.5 as acc. cogn. (c. 733) Ju 21" 28 13% 2K 20° = Is 38° =e Is 16° (בבבי)‎ Je 48% (מבכי)‎ ; audible קול ב'‎ y 6° Is 65” Ezr 3” cf. Je3” ary Is 153 (222 7 .ד ייליל‎ Je 9"); so also Gn 45° (ויתן אתדקלו בב')‎ & Je 48* בבבי יעלה בכי)‎ ice. the sound of it shall ascend )—but text here suspicious, cf. Is 15°; as disfiguring Jb 16"; || words of mourning Est 4° (מִסְפָד ,צום אָבֶל)‎ Je 31° תחנונים)‎ ef. 32), 9” 31" (כהי)‎ ef. בבי אבל'‎ משה‎ Dt 34° 8 Di ad loc. ; contrition (humilia- tion) Jo 2” (DIS, 1BDD), Is 22” .קרחה-,מספד)‎ ,(חנור שק‎ cf. Mal2™ (דמעה ,אנקה)‎ ; of bitter weeping Is22* בַּבְּכִי‎ TION, cf. 76 341'* )8 Is33'); בכי יעזר‎ Is 16° Je 48% i.e. Ya‘zer in Moab, ef. יעזר‎ n.pr.; y 102” שקוי בב " מסכתי)‎ cf. 42* 80° & Bab. dimtu mastiti, tears (were) my drink Zim ****). Trop., of trickling streams (נהרות)‎ in mines—hindrance to miners Jb 28", ! בת‎ n.f. weeping. Only in M22 } ios Gn 35° 1. 6 mourning oak, cf. ps, p: 47- בפלות 1 [בּכִית]‎ n.f. weeping ימי בְכִית *סף ם3)‎ i.e. the appointed time of mourning for him. בכים1‎ n.pr.loc. near Bethel, אלדְהַבּכִים‎ Ju 2}, בּבִים‎ ₪ (cf. v*); 69 21 rov KAav@pava kali emi Bab) ; לצ‎ KiavOuéres 1.6. DY (GL KAavopor) ; —on poss. connex. with אלון בָּכוּת‎ Gn 35° cf. Stu & We bleck's Einl. ed. 4, 183, Comp. Hex. 1889, 215. ; but perh. rd. ביתאל‎ instead of בכים‎ in vy’, ef. We Biss: vb. (NH 123, Aram. 733, 323;‏ [בכר]ז cf. Ar 3G rise early, do anything early ; Pee virgin, woman having her first child; Eth. NC: primogenitus ; As. bukru, first-born, D1’*°) —Pi. Impf, 122. Ez 47"; Inf. 722? 210% - 1. bear carly, new fruit 1 47% 2. ל‎ or constitute as first-born Dt 21° (den. of 1933). Pu. Jinpf. 122" Lv 27” born or made a firstling. Hiph. Pt. f. מַבְכִּירה‎ Je 4° one bearing her first child.

• From Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance (1995)

  For the next several days, I tried to avoid situations where my mother and I might be forced to talk. Then, a few days before they were about to leave, I stopped by while Maya was taking a nap. My mother noticed a letter addressed to my father in my hand. I asked her if she had an international postage stamp. “You guys arranging a visit?” I told her briefly of my plans as she dug out a stamp from the bottom of her purse. Actually she came up with two stamps; they had melted together in the summer heat. She gave me a sheepish grin and put water on to boil so we could steam them apart. “Well, I think it’ll be wonderful for you two to finally get to know each other,” she said from the kitchen. “He was probably a bit tough for a ten-year-old to take, but now that you’re older …” I shrugged. “Who knows?” She stuck her head out of the kitchen. “I hope you don’t feel resentful towards him.” “Why would I?” “I don’t know.” She returned to the living room and we sat there for a while, listening to the sounds of traffic below. The teapot whistled, and I stamped my envelope. Then, without any prompting, my mother began to retell an old story, in a distant voice, as if she were telling it to herself. “It wasn’t your father’s fault that he left, you know. I divorced him. When the two of us got married, your grandparents weren’t happy with the idea. But they said okay—they probably couldn’t have stopped us anyway, and they eventually came around to the idea that it was the right thing to do. Then Barack’s father—your grandfather Hussein—wrote Gramps this long, nasty letter saying that he didn’t approve of the marriage. He didn’t want the Obama blood sullied by a white woman, he said. Well, you can imagine how Gramps reacted to that. And then there was a problem with your father’s first wife … he had told me they were separated, but it was a village wedding, so there was no legal document that could show a divorce ….” Her chin had begun to tremble, and she bit down on her lip, steadying herself. She said, “Your father wrote back, saying he was going ahead with it. Then you were born, and we agreed that the three of us would return to Kenya after he finished his studies. But your grandfather Hussein was still writing to your father, threatening to have his student visa revoked. By this time Toot had become hysterical—she had read about the Mau-Mau rebellion in Kenya a few years earlier, which the Western press really played up—and she was sure that I would have my head chopped off and you would be taken away.

• From Generation Anxiety: A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Staying Afloat in an Uncertain World (2023)

  110 Additionally, many suicide attempts are unplanned, with 48 to 85 percent of attempters disclosing that they experienced a sudden inclination to harm themselves and did not plan their attempt in advance. 111,112 This speaks to the impulsivity that often comes with self-harm. While there can certainly be warning signs, it can be so easy for people to either hide those signs or not notice them themselves. In fact, more than half of people who die by suicide were never diagnosed with a mental illness or saw a mental health provider. 113 So while you may be sitting there, blaming yourself for “not seeing it sooner,” it’s likely that the person didn’t even see it for themselves. With people lacking the tools to cope, the tide can turn very quickly. The pain—and their desire to make that pain go away—can be all they see. When someone isn’t willing to accept their pain—whether it’s from shame, embarrassment, or sadness—it can get passed on to us instead. This unwanted transfer is typically unintentional, but we fear it nonetheless. We also can take someone’s behavior so personally when really, it’s someone’s biology getting the better of them. Because we have been numbed to our pain for so long, many of us don’t realize when we’re struggling until it smacks us in the face. If we get hit with a sudden stressor, like a breakup, a firing, or a large financial loss, that pain can be like a tidal wave that topples us completely over. We forget that there are smaller and less intense waves behind it. In these moments of severe distress, our brains may be working against us. Given that the brain’s frontal lobe doesn’t finish developing until we’re twenty- five, all of our faculties that help us with self-control, considering consequences, and holding empathy for others may not be in check. 114 Even if you’re over twenty-five, when that amygdala gets set off, whether it’s from anger, sadness, or fear, you can quickly lose hope that it can get better. That’s why when someone is feeling suicidal, wanting to use again, or considering any kind of self-harm, they’re not trying to push their pain onto you. They’re just trying to make the pain disappear. That’s why you need to remember: what someone chooses to do with their life is not your fault. You do not control their brain (in fact, it’d be scary if you did). You may be kicking yourself, telling yourself you should have seen the signs or done something more. This isn’t in your hands, though—and it never was. It’s not your job to prevent someone else’s suicide, recidivism, or relapse. You can help if you can—but the onus of responsibility does not fall on you.

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  n.f. encamping, or encamp-‏ [תַּחַנַה]1 אֶלמְקוּם ment ;—pl. sf. ‘NINA (si vera 1.) “be‏ rsp 2K 6°, wnto such and such a place is my‏ encamping ; but form very strange. Rd. probs | IWIN ye shall hide yourselves, so 65 Th Klo, vb. spice, make spicy, embalm‏ חנטז (NH id., bud, blossom ; Ar. Lid become mature,‏ prepare for burial, bee spices for a corpse;‏ .11 LES embalmer, Dozy'™ after PS™°; Aram.‏ iw, DIN embalm,; so Eth. chim: (loan-word. Di™));—Qal Pf. 3 fs. 9037 Ct2™; Impf. 3 mpl. ויחכְטוּ‎ Gn 50°"; Inf. estr. לחנט‎ Gn 507;— 1. spice, make spicy V5 ח'‎ TISAI Ct 2" the Jig-tree spiceth its figs, so VB De in transl. (Ew De in notes Ot al. prefer reddeneth, on account of spring season, cf. the less common and perhaps secondary sense in Ar. become red (of leather) Lane®’?). 2. embalm, sq. acc. pers. Gn 50°? (performed by O°8577), %ץ‎ it גגב |, גב חנטים‎ . |pl.abstr.embalming, only ‘Ni 21 Gn 50% 1.6. the days consumed in the embalming process= ON אַרִבָּעִים‎ y. Di. Tren n.f. wheat (NH 40., Aram. חְנְטִ'[‎ NNT, JRA; Ar. ibis) ;—abs. ח'‎ 0% + 6t.; pl. DOM Gn 30*+ 20 %.; PLA Ez 4°; 66. ON Ez 27" ;—wheat, sg. chiefly poet., of growing wheat Ex 9” (E), Dt 8° Jb 31° 0 1"; sown Is 28%; food-product Dt 32% (7 ְּלִית‎ aon kidney-fat of wheat, i.e. the choicest, v. an), חי‎ abn 81” (cf.147" infr.); elsewh. pl.; wheat as sown 16 127%; wheat-harvest ‘N W¥? Gn 30% (J), Ex 34” (JE), Jur5' ד‎ ₪ 67 127 Ru 2%, + 2 0 24” where insert acc. to G© We Dr; wheat threshed Ju6" 1 Ch 20” cf.v¥; measured ז‎ 16 5%—2Ch 2? (miso ,חטים‎ rd. ח' מַפּלֶת‎ 1 K 5*=wheat for food Th Be Ke after Vrss), vi 27° Ez 45%; stored (with barley, oil and honey) Je 41°; for food 2 ₪ 17%, DN apn W147" (cf. 81* supr.); DOA p> 28 4° (rd. site unknown, v. Di®; 0270 ח' | 18 י6+7 ְּמַהפַת‎ nbpb ₪ We Dr); 7 nbb Sine wheaten flour חניאל Ex29°(P); Ez 4° ,ְחְטִי[)‎ Aram. pl.) mixed with barley, beans, lentils, etc., and made into bread. a.pr., and 7220 v, sub pn.‏ חְנִיאָל .חנה MT v. sub‏ I. חנך‎ (Vv of foll. (see Ar. Syr.); meaning unknown).

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  tu. בר‎ n.[m.] midst, Aramaism (cf. Aram. N32, 12 middle, NH בר‎ midst, interior; ax id., belly, Ar. $3 midst) Tb 30° WAM WH from the midst (of men) they are driven ; Rosenmiiller al. comp. Cicero°™™*: ¢ medio pelluntur. mA n.f. back—(so also Di Hoffm SS;‏ .דנ Thes De AV RV body=3, cf. Ba7™G157,5)‏ © it comes out from the back (of‏ ויציא 31 20% Jb‏ arrow which has struck a fugitive, and is then‏ .גאה sub‏ 7)4 ,ז-- -. (מְגָּוה extracted; Hoffm rds.‏ Tram n.f. body, corpse—abs.’} Na 3°; estr. na ג‎ 147+2 6; sf. גוית‎ x ₪ 31" Dn 6% 2202 Gn 47, O13 Na 3% pl. abs. NPY ו‎ 110°; sf. ONY Ne 9”, OF Ez 1% TINY y2;— 1. living human body Gn 47% (sg., of many persons), cf. pl. Ne 9; of man in Daniel’svision - Dn 10° (body apart from extremities); also of the living creatures in Ezek.’s vision Ez 1% 2. dead body, corpse, carcass: a. of man 9 דב‎ (so- orig. in |[[1Ch "יסד‎ v. We™ ef Br) 5 6 גוז‎ v2 (so. of several persons), ~ 110°; coll. Na 37%; b. of lion ד ג‎ 4%. ְּ “TA, mm. °°? nation, people (NH id. Gentiles, Ph. 1} community, Jan, Sab. גו‎ DHM 2™e1883, oe)" Gn 127-121 t.; sf. rs. 3 Zp 2°, P13 y 106°, נוי‎ Kt Ez 36" (Qr wrongly Co, who del. v"); pl. O43 Gn 10°+ 410 +.‏ .61 גוייף +Qr Gn 25” ץ‎ 79" (Kt 0%) + 6 t. Ez (var. emend. Co); estr. 3 Gn 1848 t., ma 2 Ch 32% Ezr 6” (cf. Baer’s notes); sf. O7%3 Gn nation, people Gn LO™?-20-31.32.32‏ , 1 015 ד (all P)+; Is2™4=Mi 4745; +Jb 125 349% ד זכ‎ pasa פל‎ Gn 18% 22% 26% (all J) Dt 28%. a. specif. of descendants of Abraham, D732 Gn 12? cf. 188 (both J), 3 179, המון‎ oa 17% (all P); of Sarah O%3 17° (P); of Ishmael *יץ גי 5173 ,”21 גוי‎ (both E), 5173 גי‎ 17° (P); of Jacob טי וּקְהַל גי‎ Gn 35" (P), גי‎ 73 46°(E); of Ephraim ’33 מלא‎ 48" (J); of Moses גלי ָּדוּל‎ Ex 32” (J) cf. טא‎ 14” (J) Dt 9%; of Jacob and Esau as two nations Gn 25” (J). b. definitely of Israel Ex 19° קדוש)‎ ’3) 33" (both JE), Dt 4° (739 הגור הַגָּרוּל‎ , said by heathen cf. v'*) v. also ,"ץצ‎ 26° cf. ~ 33”, y 83° (said by enemies) Je 31° 33% Ez 37”; in narrative Jos 3” 4' 5° (JE), לצ‎ (D), 10% (poet., no art.); of Israel and Judah as two nations Ez 35” (said by heathen) 37”; of Judah Is 267” cf. 58? 607 Mi 4’; once my people Zp 2° )|| (עם‎ ; thy people 106° (i.e. of *), cf. also Ez 36° (rd. Kt); esp. of Israel and (or) Judah as sinful, rebellious Dt

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  vb. be ill, unwell (NH 4 sorrow-‏ [דוה]ז ful, miserable, not in physical sense; cf. Ar.‏ G95 be ill; Eth. LO: As. perh. deriv.‏ ]13-[ NYT, Joa, Los‏ ,דוי di't, illness Zim?® "7 ; Aram.‏ אֶשָה.. . במ be sad) —Qal Inf. estr. ANIA NAY‏ ו bed of‏ ‘41 ו YI‏ ד!' n.[m.] illness,‏ דוי הַמָּה languishing (Che); sg. estr. (Ew De Di)‏ yond 13 Jb 67 they (i.e. my sufferings) are like‏ disease (VB loathsomeness) in my meat, cf. Di; but txt. dub. tay adj. faint, unwell—1)7 La 5”, f. 117 Ly 15°43 5; 1. faint, La 1% (|| TRY) 517. 2. unwell, menstruous Ly 15% 20%; Is 307 m7 perh. = כְּלִי‎ 6. sickness—cstr. sg.‏ *7'7, גנ גד [מִדוְה]1 pl., as 7°21); estr.‏ מדוי mp Dt 28" (rd.‏ מִצְרִיִם (חלי || (both‏ *ך Dt‏ מדוי pl. DY‏ Tp] adj. faint (on form cf. BaX®*”)— דוי‎ Ts 1°4 2t.—faint, always of heart Is 1° | (eRe fig. of condition of people); Je 8% La 1” of sorrow and distress. 1 די‎ n.m. ink (NH id., Aram. 87, 165; Ar. %|43 inkbottle, inkhorn, Ges-Dietr Fl NHWB‘*“ der. fr. / דוה‎ in assumed sense of slowly flowing; Fl comp. Ar. ככ ב‎ thin skin on surface of milk, cf. also Olt 2) oN WIA עַלְהְהַפְַפָר‎ AND Je 36%, cf. Lag 5 On erasible quality of Hebrew ink cf. RS OTIC, 400 f. ed. 2, 71. : 2 further Liz Low Stphische Requisiten 7 ete. bei den Juden, 1870, i. 145 ff. Bs vb. rinse, cleanse away‏ ,דוח]זז by rinsing, washing (N H Hiph., Aram.‏ Aph. id.; cf. As. 0/6 D1?*"")—Hiph. Pf sf.‏ but rd. IN fr.‏ הדיחני Kt Je51% Qr‏ הדיחנו mpl.‏ 3 ;*4 15 יָדִיח (Hi, ef. 50%); 707: 3 ms.‏ נדח 4 (הַקָדִים wT 2 Ch 4°+ Ez 40% (Co conj.‏ rinse, victims to be offered in sacrifice Ez 40%, so,‏ 2Ch 4° (cf. supr.) 2. fig. cleanse by washing‏ Is 4% of removing guilt.‏ .דאג Ket v. 384 sub‏ דויג t [77] vb. pound, beat (in mortar) (NH & Aram. id., Ar. WIS; cf. also As. déku, kill מדכה COT**).—Qal Pf. 3 pl. 73703 323 (milra’) No x1° )|| חי‎ Unb). Tra n.f. mortar, Nu 11°. TMD D7 n.f. an unclean bird, perh. hoopoe, & B Saad al. (cf. Di Kn Ly 11”) Ly Ee Dir spread slander, perh. orig.‏ דום (NH‏ דום (דממה ,דמם whisper, cf.‏ 11. דומה‎ n.f. silence ;—’ שש שאול=ד‎ 94", TT ץ‎ 115"; also Is 21" מקָא דוּמָה‎ 76 of silence, 1.6. of concealment, hidden meaning, ace. to Ew Di, but v. 1.4, 3.

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  a>-70n3 Pr 10” by lacking intelligence (sense), (Di puts here Dt 15°, v.infr.) |. abs. be in want, want y 23. Pr13” Neg”. 2. be lack- ing, 12 /MY WY MDM 1% 15° his lack (i.e. thing needed), which is lacking to him (possible also is, which he lacks for es so Di, v. supr.); שמ‎ orbs על חלשף‎ Ee 98 oil on thy head let it not be lacking; v. also abs. Is 51% Ct 7°, and "Df לבו‎ Ee 10° his sense is lacking ; of jar of oil 1 K 17*16 (abs.) by meton. for the oil itself (cf. || בלה‎ be consumed, exhausted). 3. diminish, decrease, of waters Gn 8°(P), 61. WDM) qa 2 (P), waters continually diminished (v. הלך‎ supr. p. 233). Pi. cause to lack, c. ace. pers., Jmpf. 2 ms. sf. מעט מָאֶלהים‎ ITIBOM y 8° and thou didst make him lack little of God ; Pt. אתדנפשי מְטוּבָה‎ IN Ec 4* for whom am 1 labouri ing and depriving myself of good things ? Hiph. Pf VON) Ex 16%; Impf. VOM Is 3 2°;— cause to be lacking, fail, ¢. acc. rei mm Noy MPwID Ts 32°; the drink of the thirsty he causeth to fail 341 חפה )| 239 (לְהָרִיק נפש‎ ; abs. Ex 16" (P), he that gathered little caused no lack. Tron n.m.!"%~ want, poverty—alw. abs.; NI חי‎ Pr 28” want shall come to him; ||{23 hung ger Jb 30%. ץ[תס--(*7 7% 1,3) n.[m.] want, lack‏ חסרז Dt 287,‏ ח' פל ;4° Am‏ ח' estr. pnb‏ fren adj. needy, lacking, in want of— ח"‎ abs. Ec 6%; estr. 1D 18 21+ 13 t.;—needy, in want of ח' משגעים אני‎ 18 21% am I in want of madmen? 28 3” in need of bread, so Pr 12°; usu. ו‎ pore understanding, sense Pr 6” “Go ו‎ ene ay Rate ח'דלב‎ DIS Pr 178 24%; נָּנִיר ח' תבוּנות‎ Pr 280. TDM IS וג/‎ bop לפשו‎ Ec 67 neither is he lacking for his soul in aught of כמן)‎ part.) all that he desireth. n.pr.m. grandfather of Shallum‏ חַסרה1 who was husband of Huldah the prophetess‏ 2Ke2 24(G Apaas,‏ חַרחס (GA Eacepn, GL Acep)=‏ GL Aédpa).‏ Ten n.m. thing lacking, deficiency (Lag™ =) —only nina ד 6ך ח" לאדיוכל‎ what is lacking cannot be counted. n.[m.] need, thing‏ מחסר ,מחסורז abs. Pr 11% + 6t.; estr.‏ מ - -; needed, poverty‏ Jur8" 19"; sf. FOND Jurg™; FIOM Pr 6";‏ Pr a —1. need=‏ מחסריף oN Dt 15°; pl. sf.‏ "I Dt 15° enough for his‏ מחסר\ thing needed‏ fam) Ju‏ עָלִי cf. IDM vb.);‏ אשר יָּחְסַר לו need (sq.‏ all thy need be upon me (for me to prov ide).‏ ”19 no lack of‏ 18% 170 אִין מ ָּלַדְּבַר lack, want‏ .2 anything,19" 734". 3. ingen., need, poverty‏ 22° 210 ןד EI‏ (ריש ||( 24% = Pr 6% (|| WNT)‏ man of poverty.‏ ₪ 217 איש מז" ;287 FT +. ir. .חפף‎

• From Tipping the Velvet (1998)

  But it’s true you were in one.’ She didn’t answer. ‘I don’t mind it,’ I added quickly. She gave a jerk to her head, and said: ‘No, I don’t mind it, now...’ Had she said such a thing, in such a tone, to Diana, I think Diana would have slapped her. Indeed, she looked at me now a little fearfully; but when she did so, I grimaced. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘Do you think me very rude? It’s only - well, it is what Diana said, about why they had you in there at all. Is it true, what she said? Or is it only one of her stories? Is it true that they had you in there, because you ... kissed another girl?’ She let her hands fall to her lap, then sat back upon her heels and gazed into the unlit grate. Then she turned her face to me and gave a sigh. ‘I was a year in the reformat’ry,’ she said, ‘when I was seventeen. It was a cruel enough place, I suppose, though not so hard as other gaols I heard of; its mistress is a lady Mrs Lethaby knows from her club, and that is how she got me. I was sent to the reformat‘ry on the word of a girl I was friends with at a house in Kentish Town. We were maids there, together.’ ‘You were a maid before you came here?’ ‘I was sent out as a skivvy when I was ten: Pa was rather poor. That was at a house in Paddington. When I was fourteen I went to the place in Kentish Town. It was altogether a better place. I was a housemaid, then; and I got very thick with another girl there, named Agnes. Agnes had a chap, and she threw the chap over, miss, for my sake. That’s how thick we were ...’ She gazed very sadly at her hands in her lap, and the room grew still, and I grew sorry. I said, ‘And was it Agnes told the story that got you sent to the reformat’ry?’ She shook her head. ‘Oh, no! What happened was, Agnes lost her place, because the lady didn’t care for her. She went to a house in Dulwich — which, as you will know, is very far from Kentish Town, but not so far that we couldn’t meet on a Sunday, and send each other little notes and parcels through the post. But then - well, then another girl came. She was not so nice as Agnes, but she took to me like anything. I think she was a bit soft, miss, in the head.