Relief

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From The Decameron (1353)

  Because of this a young man called Neerbal who had spent the whole of his substance in sumptuous living, having heard that she was still alive, set out to look for her, and before the authorities were able to appropriate her late father’s fortune on the grounds that there was no heir, he succeeded in tracing her whereabouts. To the great relief of Rustico, but against her own wishes, he took her back to Gafsa and married her, thus inheriting a half-share in her father’s enormous fortune. Before Neerbal had actually slept with her, she was questioned by the women of Gafsa about how she had served God in the desert, and she replied that she had served Him by putting the devil back in Hell, and that Neerbal had committed a terrible sin by stopping her from performing so worthy a service. ‘How do you put the devil back in Hell?’ asked the women. Partly in words and partly through gestures, the girl showed them how it was done, whereupon the women laughed so much that they are laughing yet; and they said: ‘Don’t let it worry you, my dear. People do the job every bit as well here in Gafsa, and Neerbal will give you plenty of help in serving the Lord.’ The story was repeated throughout the town, being passed from one woman to the next, and they coined a proverbial saying there to the effect that the most agreeable way of serving God was to put the devil back in Hell. The dictum later crossed the sea to Italy, where it survives to this day. And so, young ladies, if you stand in need of God’s grace, see that you learn to put the devil back in Hell, for it is greatly to His liking and pleasurable to the parties concerned, and a great deal of good can arise and flow in the process. * * * So aptly and cleverly worded did Dioneo’s tale appear to the virtuous ladies, that they shook with mirth a thousand times or more. And when he had brought it to a close, the queen, acknowledging the end of her sovereignty, removed the laurel from her head and placed it very gracefully on Filostrato’s, saying: ‘Now we shall discover whether the wolf can fare any better at leading the sheep than the sheep have fared in leading the wolves.’ On hearing this, Filostrato laughed and said: ‘Had you listened to me, the wolves would have taught the sheep by now to put the devil back in Hell, no less skilfully than Rustico taught Alibech. But you have not exactly been behaving like sheep, and therefore you must not describe us as wolves.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  Joe now notices his shoulders pulling up and off to the right. He becomes aware of his arm wanting to turn the wheel to the right just as he hears the crash and buckling of metal. Tom asks Joe to ignore the crash for the moment, focus on the sensation, and complete the turn to the right. Joe makes the turn in his body and “avoids” the accident. He has some more mild shaking that is quickly followed by a tremendous amount of relie f even though he knows the accident did happen. Tom asks Joe to return to the point where he first saw the yellow fender and the man through the windshield. From there they move to the moment where he hears the first clang of metal. As these images are accessed, Joe feels his body being thrown to the left, while at the same time, it is pulling back in the opposite direction. He feels like he is being propelled forward and his back muscles are trying, unsuccessfully, to pull him back. Tom encourages Joe to keep feeling his back muscles. Joe experiences increased tension as he focuses on the muscles. He then experiences a slight feeling of panic. At that point, Joe’s back muscles release and he breaks into a sweat. He shakes and trembles deeply for several minutes. At the end of this, Joe discovers himself feeling peaceful and safe. Joe knows that the accident happened. He knows that he tried to avoid it. He knows that he wanted to go back to talk to his wife. Each of these experiences are equally real for him. It doesn’t seem like one is real and the others are made up; they appear as different outcomes to the same event, both equally real. In the few days following the release of the energy stored in trauma, the symptoms in Joe’s right arm and back cleared up significantly. It is important to recognize that the pain he was experiencing was related to impulses he had that had not been completed. The first impulse was to turn the steering wheel to the right and to go back to talk to his wife. The second was to turn right to avoid the accident. A third was the muscles in his back that were trying to pull him back. Being encouraged to complete each of these actions, Joe was able to release the stored energy associated with the impulses, even if it was after the fact. We can see that this process offers a way to allow responses to complete and images to become more connected (associated). Images that are constricted become expanded, while stored energy is released through gradual discharge and completio n one step at a time. 17. First Aid for Children Delayed Traumatic Reactions

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  Then Joe remembers driving down the street and feeling that he wanted to go back to talk to his wife. With Tom’s encouragement, he imagines himself turning to go back and gets a pain in his right arm that is intensifying. As they focus on that sensation, the pain begins to subside. They focus on Joe’s desire to turn around. This time Joe is able to complete the turn in his body and mind and imagines returning home to resolve things with his wife. He tells her that he felt hurt at the party the night before, because she seemed to be ignoring him. She tells him that she just wanted to feel that she could mingle and move about without having to be dependent on him. She explains that it wasn’t anything personal and that she feels quite good about their relationship. Joe feels relieved and has a sense that he has come to a deeper understanding and appreciation of his wife. He also wonders whether or not he would have seen the oncoming car if he had resolved the issues with his wife before getting in the car. At this point, Joe feels relieved. He has some guilt for his part in the accident, even though the other person was clearly at fault for running the stop sign. Tom then asks Joe to describe the details of the road just before he had the accident, even though Joe claims he doesn’t remember what happened. As Joe begins to describe what he can recall, he feels both shoulders tighten and go up. He has a sensation of his body pulling away to the right, followed by the image of a flickering shadow. Tom asks his friend to look at the shadow, and as he does Joe begins to see the yellow color of a car (orienting response). As Joe tries to bring more detail to that image he realizes that he saw a front fender, and then the driver’s face through the windshield of the car. Joe can tell from the look on his face that he is oblivious to the fact that he has just run a stop sig n— the man seems to be lost in thought. Tom asks Joe what he is feeling and he says that he is really angry at the guy and wants to destroy him. Tom encourages Joe to imagine that he is destroying the other car. Joe sees himself getting a big hammer and smashing the other car to smithereens. He is now experiencing increased activation (more than he has before). His hands are trembling and shaking and have turned cold. Tom uses soothing words to support Joe through the process of releasing the energy. After some time, Joe begins to feel his breathing regulate, the tension in his shoulders and jaw relaxes, and the trembling settles. He has a sense of relief and warmth in his hands now. He feels relaxed and alert at the same time.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  The Abbot relaxed for a while in the company of his own folk, and described to them the sort of life he had been living, whereas they on the other hand declared of one accord that Ghino had entertained them lavishly. But the time having now arrived for them to eat, the Abbot and all the others were regaled with a succession of excellent dishes and superb wines, though Ghino still refrained from telling the Abbot who he was. The Abbot was entertained in this way for several days running, but eventually Ghino gave instructions for all of his effects to be brought to a large room overlooking a courtyard where every one of the Abbot’s horses was assembled, down to the most decrepit-looking nag he possessed. He then called on the Abbot and asked him how he was feeling and whether he was strong enough to travel. The Abbot replied that he was as strong as an ox, that he had fully recovered from his stomach ailment, and that once he was out of Ghino’s hands, his troubles would be over. Then Ghino took the Abbot to the room in which his goods and the whole of his retinue were gathered, and, guiding him to a window whence he could see all his horses, he said: ‘My lord Abbot, you must realize that gentle birth, exile, poverty, and the desire to defend his life and his nobility against numerous powerful enemies, rather than any instinctive love of evil, have driven Ghino di Tacco, whom you see before you, to become a highway robber and an enemy of the court of Rome. But because you seem a worthy gentleman, and because I have cured you of the malady affecting your stomach, I do not intend to treat you as I would treat any other person who fell into my hands, of whose possessions I would take as large a portion as I pleased. On the contrary, I propose that you yourself, having given due regard to my needs, should decide how much or how little of your property you would care to leave with me. All your goods are set out here before you, and from this window you can see your horses tethered in the courtyard. I therefore bid you take as much or as little as you please, and you are henceforth free to leave whenever you wish.’ The Abbot was astonished and delighted to hear such generous sentiments from the lips of a highway robber, and promptly shed his anger and disdain, being filled instead with a feeling of goodwill towards Ghino, whom he was now disposed to look upon as a bosom friend. And he rushed to embrace him, saying:

• From The Decameron (1353)

  In view of what she had been through, the lady gave no further thought to her lover, and from then on she wisely refrained from playing any more tricks or falling deeply in love with anyone. As for the scholar, when he heard that the maid had broken her thigh, he deemed his revenge sufficient, and went happily about his business and said no more about it. This, then, was the foolish young lady’s reward for supposing it was no more difficult to trifle with a scholar than with any other man, being unaware that scholars – not all of them, mind you, but the majority at any rate – know where the devil keeps his tail. I advise you therefore to think twice, ladies, before you play such tricks, especially when you have a scholar to deal with.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  The Abbot relaxed for a while in the company of his own folk, and described to them the sort of life he had been living, whereas they on the other hand declared of one accord that Ghino had entertained them lavishly. But the time having now arrived for them to eat, the Abbot and all the others were regaled with a succession of excellent dishes and superb wines, though Ghino still refrained from telling the Abbot who he was. The Abbot was entertained in this way for several days running, but eventually Ghino gave instructions for all of his effects to be brought to a large room overlooking a courtyard where every one of the Abbot’s horses was assembled, down to the most decrepit-looking nag he possessed. He then called on the Abbot and asked him how he was feeling and whether he was strong enough to travel. The Abbot replied that he was as strong as an ox, that he had fully recovered from his stomach ailment, and that once he was out of Ghino’s hands, his troubles would be over. Then Ghino took the Abbot to the room in which his goods and the whole of his retinue were gathered, and, guiding him to a window whence he could see all his horses, he said: ‘My lord Abbot, you must realize that gentle birth, exile, poverty, and the desire to defend his life and his nobility against numerous powerful enemies, rather than any instinctive love of evil, have driven Ghino di Tacco, whom you see before you, to become a highway robber and an enemy of the court of Rome. But because you seem a worthy gentleman, and because I have cured you of the malady affecting your stomach, I do not intend to treat you as I would treat any other person who fell into my hands, of whose possessions I would take as large a portion as I pleased. On the contrary, I propose that you yourself, having given due regard to my needs, should decide how much or how little of your property you would care to leave with me. All your goods are set out here before you, and from this window you can see your horses tethered in the courtyard. I therefore bid you take as much or as little as you please, and you are henceforth free to leave whenever you wish.’ The Abbot was astonished and delighted to hear such generous sentiments from the lips of a highway robber, and promptly shed his anger and disdain, being filled instead with a feeling of goodwill towards Ghino, whom he was now disposed to look upon as a bosom friend. And he rushed to embrace him, saying:

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  In the garb of a knight he reached Civita Vecchia, and there met by a Genoese galley proceeded to Genoa, where he was received with the ringing of bells and the acclamation, "Our soul is escaped like a bird out of the snare of the fowler." Joined by cardinals, he continued his journey to Lyons, which, though nominally a city of the empire, was by reason of its proximity to France a place of safe retreat. The pope’s policy proved to be a master stroke. A deep impression in his favor was made upon the Christian world by the sight of the supreme pontiff in exile.255 The division of European sentiment is shown by the method which a priest of Paris resorted to in publishing Innocent’s sentence of excommunication against the emperor. "I am not ignorant," he said, "of the serious controversy and unquenchable hatred that has arisen between the emperor and the pope. I also know that one has done harm to the other, but which is the offender I do not know. Him, however, as far as my authority goes, I denounce and excommunicate, that is, the one who harms the other, whichever of the two it be, and I absolve the one which suffers under the injury which is so hurtful to the cause of Christendom." Innocent was now free to convoke again the council which Frederick’s forcible measures had prevented from assembling in Rome. It is known as the First Council of Lyons, or the Thirteenth Oecumenical Council, and met in Lyons, 1245. The measures the papal letter mentioned as calling for action were the provision of relief for the Holy Land and of resistance to the Mongols whose ravages had extended to Hungary, and the settlement of matters in dispute between the Apostolic see and the emperor. One hundred and forty prelates were present. With the exception of a few representatives from England and one or two bishops from Germany, the attendance was confined to ecclesiastics from Southern Europe.256 Baldwin, emperor of Constantinople, was there to plead his dismal cause. Frederick was represented by his able counsellor, Thaddeus of Suessa. Thaddeus promised for his master to restore Greece to the Roman communion and proceed to the Holy Land in person. Innocent rejected the promises as intended to deceive and to break up the council. The axe, he said, was laid at the root, and the stroke was not to be delayed. When Thaddeus offered the kings of England and France as sureties that the emperor would keep his promise, the pope sagaciously replied that in that case he would be in danger of having three princes to antagonize. Innocent was plainly master of the situation. The council was in sympathy with him. Many of its members had a grudge against Frederick for having been subjected to the outrage of capture and imprisonment by him.

• From Apprenticed to Venus: My Secret Life with Anaïs Nin (2017)

  Bob looked at me kindly through his colorless eyelashes and said, almost apologetically, “We have voted, and it was decided that if Philip does not leave immediately, you have to move out.” I failed to mourn the loss of my commune family—probably because Philip provided me with so much mood-lifting weed. Using a ritual that Philip had learned from the Beatles’ own swami to find a rental, I drew in lipstick on my commune bedroom window a child’s stick figure picture of a house with wavy lines behind it. Sure enough, in the next day’s LA Times classifieds, we found a beach house for rent that we could just afford. With its steeple roof, it looked like my drawing. Originally built as a real estate office, it had no heat or insulation, and its whitewashed walls resembled a movie set, the paint peeling as if an art director’s crew had aged it. Tall, unscreened Dutch windows opened onto the Pacific Ocean, which was so near it appeared we were at sea. I fall in love with houses the way I fall in love with men, at first sight, and Philip and I rented the beach house before anyone else could. We furnished it with a king-sized waterbed, dangled crystals on threads from the window frames, and from the rafters we hung a clear round fishbowl in which swam a brilliant blue betta that my cat Jadu watched circle all day. Philip bought me a Victorian claw-footed tub and placed it under a window. It was hooked up to the kitchen faucet by a removable hose and emptied onto our patio downstairs, which was always buffeted by waves. So began our life of play magic, getting high, bikini beach days in our ocean backyard, making love in our heated waterbed, and taking moonbaths together in the tub with the Dutch windows flung open onto the sea, unfiltered moonlight falling on our slender, wet bodies. I was ecstatic. I was going to be like Anaïs—in tune with the rhythms of nature and my inner rhythms, as she was when she’d lived on her houseboat on the Seine. I was going to have it all: Philip to love me, a house on the water, shelves full of books, artistic friends, the fun of filmmaking, a life of laughter and play. One afternoon, Anaïs phoned. “Oh, I’m so glad I reached you. I was so worried!” she cried. “I called the commune, and they said you weren’t there anymore.” “Didn’t they give you my new phone number?” “No. Rupert finally got the idea to try information.” “I’m fine. I’m great. I didn’t know you were back yet. Can I come tomorrow?” [image file=image_rsrc3R3.jpg] The next day at her front door, Anaïs sang, “Tristine, you have to visit Bali! Every person you meet there is an artist! A whole country of artists!”

• From Apprenticed to Venus: My Secret Life with Anaïs Nin (2017)

  As I climbed the old stairs on the side of the house, shivering, covered with goose bumps, my legs shaking, I felt the exhilaration of freedom. She was gone, and I had said good-bye. After a warm shower, wrapped in my robe, I opened the Dutch windows to the night and listened to the crashing waves below. Not far from the moon, I saw dazzling Venus, brilliant as a fiery diamond, and thought of Anaïs elevated on her giddy trapeze from spouse to spouse. Observing Venus that evening as I would for decades to come, I recognized that despite my scrutiny of Anaïs’s every word and deed, her mystery could be grasped only on her own terms of metaphor and myth. For in that realm it so happens that once in a hundred years or so, as often as Venus makes her transit across the sun or certain rare fire flowers bloom, the goddess of love descends to inhabit the body of a girl who will become a beautiful woman. The mettle of the young woman’s character will not matter; the more malleable, the better for Venus’s ends. Nor need she be faithful except to her own wild essence, like a fox or a heron. Perhaps, as Anaïs, the goddess also chose to become a writer, a diarist, to remind all women that beneath Earth’s girdles and jackets lies our limitless capacity for lust and love. Acknowledgments I WISH TO THANK MY agent Stephany Evans for her steadfast belief in this book, and my editor Chelsey Emmelhainz, who got what I was trying to achieve and whose clear vision and careful editing focused the text. A special thanks to two friends, novelist James Rogers and my former screenwriting agent Nancy Nigrosh, for reading and re-reading the manuscript, refueling me with their recommendations and enthusiasm, to Molly Friedrich for her generosity in giving me notes, and to those writer friends who read early versions and made suggestions, Diana Raab, Steven Reigns, Marijane Datson, Brad Schreiber, and Chip Jacobs. Thanks also to my young readers, Kateland Carr and Elena del Real, for sharing where the book resonated, to Michael D. Roback, MD, for advice and rollicking editing discussions, and to Nancy Bein, John Upton, Donald Freed, Jamie Rainer, and members of the Immaculate Heart Community for caring encouragement. I am grateful to Dean Echenberg, MD, and to Vancouver photographer Derek Lepper for digging in old files and sending images of me in the Malibu house from the early 1970s. I wish personally to thank Anaïs Nin’s excellent biographers, Deirdre Baer and Noel Riley Finch, in appreciation of their research and works upon which I relied, and to all those Nin friends and scholars who have shared with me their knowledge, including Paul Herron. There are two men, now deceased, who I must also thank: Nin’s editor John Ferrone, who read the manuscript at its inception and, even in his illness, gave me notes, and Rupert Pole, who gave me written permission to read Anaïs’s handwritten diaries and letters at UCLA Special Collections and to tell his complicated love story with her.

• From Apprenticed to Venus: My Secret Life with Anaïs Nin (2017)

  When it was over and the audience had applauded, I felt light as paper, weightless as a ghost. Hugging Jamie good-bye, I collected my purse and jacket from the greenroom. I couldn’t wait to be in my car on my way home, glad that it was over, ecstatic with relief that the audience hadn’t booed me, that their ardor for Anaïs was so great that they would have sat through anything for her. I felt my sleeve being pulled as I was almost out the door. I turned around to see the young woman escort who had led me with her flashlight down the dark tunnel to the stage. “Don’t go yet. There’s someone who wants to talk to you.” “I didn’t invite anyone.” “The audience. They’re asking for you.” She forcefully guided me to another door and opened it. There was a line of women, and when they saw me they smiled uncertainly, a hopeful, crazed look in their eyes. They were there for a piece of Anaïs. I felt safe as long as the women were ordered in a line, but as soon as I started to talk with the first one, the rest broke out of formation, surrounding me, crowding me, suffocating me. I couldn’t see a way out. I was frightened and tried to move through them, but they wouldn’t let me. I could see they had brought gifts for Anaïs, handmade scarves, paintings, flowers and handcrafted books. Their tender, unripe faces were full of rapture like those of my students the night Anaïs visited the commune. “You look so much like her!” a woman with a crooked smile cried, and others agreed. “You have to settle an argument.” A stout woman bustled forward with her middle-aged friend. “You really are Anaïs’s daughter, aren’t you?” An innocent looking girl pushed a hand-beaded purse into my hands. “I made it for her. I want you to have it.” Tears filled her eyes. “I’ll give it to Anaïs,” I promised. “I want you to keep it,” she said and, trembling, came close for a hug. Jamie eyed me suspiciously. I knew he was seeing me as the ambitious understudy eager to usurp her mentor’s place, a ruthless Eve Harrington in All About Eve. But he was mistaken. I didn’t want Anaïs’s place. I didn’t want the purse beaded for her. I didn’t want the gifts or the sweet-smelling bouquets thrust into my arms. I didn’t want the suffocating hugs. I didn’t want Anaïs’s borrowed fame. To my amazement, I no longer wanted fame at all. Being surrounded by these excited, delusional people frightened me.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  woman was out of the house, he forced it open to see what was inside, and discovered that it contained a number of precious stones, some of them loose and others mounted. Being quite knowledgeable on the subject of jewels, he realized from the moment he saw them that they were extremely valuable, and his spirits rose higher than ever. He praised God for once again coming to his rescue, but since Fortune had dealt him two cruel blows in rapid succession, and might conceivably deal him a third, he decided he would have to proceed with great caution if he wanted to convey these things safely home. So he wrapped them up as carefully as he could in some old rags, told the woman that if she liked, she could keep the chest, since he no longer had any use for it, and asked her to let him have a sack in exchange. The good woman gladly complied with his request, and after he had thanked her profusely for the assistance she had rendered, he slung his sack over his shoulder and went on his way, first taking a boat to Brindisi and then making his way gradually up the coast as far as Trani, where he met some cloth- merchants who hailed from his native town. Without mentioning the chest, he gave them an account of all his adventures, and they felt so sorry for him that they fitted him out with new clothes, lent him a horse, and sent him back with company to Ravello, whither he was intent on returning at all costs. Secure at last in Ravello, he gave thanks to God for leading him safely home, untied his little sack, and made what was virtually his first real inspection of its contents. The stones he possessed were, he discovered, so valuable and numerous, that even if he sold them at less than their market value, he would be twice as rich as when he had set out. So that, having taken steps to dispose of his gems, he sent, by way of payment for services received, a tidy sum of money to the good woman of Corfu who had fished him out of the sea. And likewise, he sent a further sum to the people at Trani who had given him the new clothes. He was no longer interested in commerce, so he kept the remainder of the money and lived in splendour for the rest of his days.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  Explore anything (and everything) that is there through the felt sense. As reactions come up, the body may spontaneously (usually slightly) begin to move. Allow fifteen to twenty minutes for the movements to complete, facilitating the discharge of energy by focusing on the sensations in the body. After the discharge, people experience a sense of relief, usually followed by feelings of warmth in the extremities. People may feel their bodies going rapidly in two directions, e.g., “As I was hurled into the windshield I felt my back muscles tense and pull me in the opposite direction.” Reassure them that they are OK and allow them to sequence through the movements slowly. Some people may now re-experience a few of the more acute shock reactions such as shaking and trembling. Be supportive and acknowledge that they are making progress. People may also experience themselves avoiding the accident completely. Or, they may jump around between the different phases outlined here. This is fine as long as they aren’t entirely avoiding certain aspects, particularly the moment of impact. It is important to stay with this phase until you can conclude at a point where the people feel a full sense of relief. Their breathing will become easier and their heart rate more steady. Achieving this goal could take as long as an hour. You can pick up where you left off and continue the process over a period of two to three days if needed. This is preferable to pushing too hard to complete it in one session. You may need to bring them back, gradually, to incomplete areas a few times to allow for full completion. To End After reaching the point where all phases have been satisfactorily completed, describe the entire experience again and look for activation. If the person is feeling discomfort, something may have been missed, or it may be resolved with this final review of the whole process. Suspend work unless symptoms continue or develop later. If so, review any necessary steps. Feelings or remembrances of other experiences may also begin to come up. If this is the case, you can begin the same process we have just gone through to handle other unresolved or unrelated trauma. However, this process can take place much more slowly and over a longer period of time. If someone has a pattern or tendency for accidents, this can help prevent future incidents by reestablishing the person’s innate resiliency and capacity to orient and respond. Scenario of Healing Following an Accident I was driving along when a car, having failed to heed the stop sign, suddenly entered the road from an intersecting side street. The other driver didn’t see me in time and crashed into the left side of my car. I also didn’t see him until the last minute and couldn’t respond to avoid the accident.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  Tom asks Joe to ignore the crash for the moment, focus on the sensation, and complete the turn to the right. Joe makes the turn in his body and “avoids” the accident. He has some more mild shaking that is quickly followed by a tremendous amount of relie f even though he knows the accident did happen. Tom asks Joe to return to the point where he first saw the yellow fender and the man through the windshield. From there they move to the moment where he hears the first clang of metal. As these images are accessed, Joe feels his body being thrown to the left, while at the same time, it is pulling back in the opposite direction. He feels like he is being propelled forward and his back muscles are trying, unsuccessfully, to pull him back. Tom encourages Joe to keep feeling his back muscles. Joe experiences increased tension as he focuses on the muscles. He then experiences a slight feeling of panic. At that point, Joe’s back muscles release and he breaks into a sweat. He shakes and trembles deeply for several minutes. At the end of this, Joe discovers himself feeling peaceful and safe. Joe knows that the accident happened. He knows that he tried to avoid it. He knows that he wanted to go back to talk to his wife. Each of these experiences are equally real for him. It doesn’t seem like one is real and the others are made up; they appear as different outcomes to the same event, both equally real. In the few days following the release of the energy stored in trauma, the symptoms in Joe’s right arm and back cleared up significantly. It is important to recognize that the pain he was experiencing was related to impulses he had that had not been completed. The first impulse was to turn the steering wheel to the right and to go back to talk to his wife. The second was to turn right to avoid the accident. A third was the muscles in his back that were trying to pull him back. Being encouraged to complete each of these actions, Joe was able to release the stored energy associated with the impulses, even if it was after the fact. We can see that this process offers a way to allow responses to complete and images to become more connected (associated). Images that are constricted become expanded, while stored energy is released through gradual discharge and completio n one step at a time. 17. First Aid for Children Delayed Traumatic Reactions Johnny, age five, proudly riding his first bicycle, hits loose gravel and careens into a tree. He is momentarily knocked unconscious. Getting up amid a flow of tears, he feels disoriented and somehow different. His parents hug him, console him, and put him back on the bike, all the while praising his courage. They do not realize how stunned and frightened he is.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  As we discussed earlier, acting out does offer the organism some temporary relief. The actions themselves provide an outlet for excess energy generated by the ongoing arousal cycle. Adrenaline-forming chemicals and narcotic endorphins are released into the body. At the same time the organism is able to avoid feeling the overwhelming emotion and sensation that would accompany the real thing. The drawback is that by going with the programmed act, the person rarely has a chance to try anything new or original. Few rational people would choose to live their lives in the grips of trauma by constantly acting out and reliving overwhelming experiences. Re-enactment Versus Renegotiation In any re-enactment there will always be underlying and unconscious patterns of events and beliefs that seemingly have their own power to create our experiences according to their dictates. This compulsive repetition is not “deliberate” in the usual sense. Deliberate actions usually require some consciousness, an ingredient that plays little role in re-enactment. In re-enactments, the human organism is not fully aware of the drives and motivations of its behavior, and consequently, it operates in a mode that is like that of the reptilian brain. It simply does what it does. Re-enactment represents the organism’s attempt to complete the natural cycle of activation and deactivation that accompanies the response to threat in the wild. In the wild, activation is often discharged by running or fighting - or by other active behaviors that bring about a successful conclusion to the potentially life-threatening confrontation. If the original event required an active escape strategy, then reenactments that attempt the same thing should come as no surprise to us. Because we are human, we are vulnerable to traumatization in a way that animals are not. The key to the exit from this seemingly unsolvable predicament lies in the characteristic that most clearly distinguishes us from animal s our ability to be consciously aware of our inner experience. When we are able, as Jack was, to slow down and experience all the elements of sensation and feeling that accompany our traumatic patterns, allowing them to complete themselves before we move on, we begin to access and transform the drives and motivations that otherwise compel us to re-enact traumatic events. Conscious awareness accessed through the felt sense provides us with a gentle energetic discharge just as effective as that which the animal accesses through action. This is renegotiation. In the Theater of the Body Arousal becomes chronic as a result of overwhelming sensations and emotions that have an internal source. This is the reason that trauma can and must be transformed by working with it internally. In re-enactment the world may be our stage. In remaining external, it also remains unchanged. Hence, re-enactment rarely accomplishes its intended task.

• From The Well of Loneliness (1928)

  So now they were launched upon the stream that flows silent and deep through all great cities, gliding on between precipitous borders, away and away into no-man’s-land—the most desolate country in all creation. Yet when they got home they felt no misgivings, even Stephen’s doubts had been drugged for the moment, since just at first this curious stream will possess the balm of the waters of Lethe. She said to Mary: ‘It was quite a good party; don’t you think so?’ And Mary answered naïvely: ‘I loved it because they were so nice to you. Brockett told me they think you’re the coming writer. He said you were Valérie Seymour’s lion; I was bursting with pride—it made me so happy!’ For answer, Stephen stooped down and kissed her. CHAPTER 451B y February Stephen’s book was rewritten and in the hands of her publisher in England. This gave her the peaceful, yet exhilarated feeling that comes when a writer has given of his best and knows that that best is not unworthy. With a sigh of relief she metaphorically stretched, rubbed her eyes and started to look about her. She was in the mood that comes as a reaction from strain, and was glad enough of amusement; moreover the spring was again in the air, the year had turned, there were sudden bright days when the sun brought a few hours of warmth to Paris. They were now no longer devoid of friends, no longer solely dependent upon Brockett on the one hand, and Mademoiselle Duphot on the other; Stephen’s telephone would ring pretty often. There was now always somewhere for Mary to go; always people who were anxious to see her and Stephen, people with whom one got intimate quickly and was thus saved a lot of unnecessary trouble. Of them all, however, it was Barbara and Jamie for whom Mary developed a real affection; she and Barbara had formed a harmless alliance which at times was even a little pathetic. The one talking of Jamie, the other of Stephen, they would put their young heads together very gravely. ‘Do you find Jamie goes off her food when she’s working?’ ‘Do you find that Stephen sleeps badly? Is she careless of her health? Jamie’s awfully worrying sometimes.’ Or perhaps they would be in a more flippant mood and would sit and whisper together, laughing; making tender fun of the creatures they loved, as women have been much inclined to do ever since that rib was demanded of Adam. Then Jamie and Stephen would pretend to feel aggrieved, would pretend that they also must hang together, must be on their guard against feminine intrigues. Oh, yes, the whole business was rather pathetic.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  I now know that it was not the dramatic emotional catharsis and reliving of her childhood tonsillectomy that was catalytic in her recovery, but the discharge of energy she experienced when she flowed out of her passive, frozen immobility response into an active, successful escape. The image of the tiger awoke her instinctual, responsive self. The other profound insight that I gleaned from Nancy’s experience was that the resources that enable a person to succeed in the face of a threat can be used for healing. This is true not just at the time of the experience, but even years after the event. I learned that it was unnecessary to dredge up old memories and relive their emotional pain to heal trauma. In fact, severe emotional pain can be re-traumatizing. What we need to do to be freed from our symptoms and fears is to arouse our deep physiological resources and consciously utilize them. If we remain ignorant of our power to change the course of our instinctual responses in a proactive rather than reactive way, we will continue being imprisoned and in pain. Bob Barklay minimized the traumatic impact of his experience by remaining engaged in the task of freeing himself and the other children from the underground vault. The focused energy he expended in doing so is the key to why he was less traumatized than the other children. He not only became a hero in the moment, but he also helped free his nervous system from being overburdened by undischarged energy and fear for years to come. Nancy became a heroine twenty years after her ordeal. The running movements made by her legs when she responded to the make-believe tiger allowed her to do the same thing. This response helped rid her nervous system of the excess energy that had been mobilized to deal with the threat she experienced during her tonsillectomy. She was able, long after the original trauma, to awaken her capacity for heroism and actively escap e —as Bob Barklay did. The long-term results for Bob and Nancy were similar. Released from the debilitating effects that plague so many trauma sufferers, they were both able to move on with their lives. As the work developed I learned that the healing process was more effective if it was less dramatic, occurring more gradually. The most important lesson I have gleaned is that we all have the innate capacity to heal our traumas.

• From Crazy Brave (2012)

  He kicked the door, yelling, “I’m going to kill you!” … He kicked in the back window. The glass shattered and he began attempting to crawl in. He was drunk and awkward. … The police came just as he got into the house. I watched, pained and relieved, as they shackled him. … He appeared unhurt by the voltage and called out drunkenly to me from the back seat of the police car, “I love you, Joy. I love you.” I did not get him out of jail that time. I did not take him back.

• From Crazy Brave (2012)

  I loved the rhythm of the days. I remembered pig wrapped in banana leaves and cooked in an oven dug in the ground. I remembered how blue the ocean was. It was a blue rarely present now on Earth. I became pregnant. I had a premonition that the child and I would not survive. I went into labor, a labor that went on for more than two days. I died while giving birth. When I looked back as I turned toward the next world, I saw my exhausted rag of a body where I had cast it aside, and I saw the tiny body of my baby next to me. At school I discovered information on opportunities for Indian students to go to Indian boarding school. I told my mother that I wanted to go to a school with other Indian students, a place where I would belong, where I would be normal. I wanted a smaller school, and I wanted to be far away from my stepfather. (I didn’t tell her I wanted to escape my stepfather.) My mother took me to the Okmulgee Agency of the Bureau of Indian Affairs to apply. The personnel at the BIA office were kind and helpful. They knew my grandparents and spoke highly of my father’s family and their contributions to our tribal society. My mother and I began filling out the paperwork for me to attend the Chilocco Indian School. As we stood up at the end of the meeting with the agent, my mother mentioned my artwork. He then told us about the Institute of American Indian Arts. IAIA was a high school in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and included a two-year postgraduate program. Indian students from all over the country attended. He’d sent other Creek students there. I felt brightness as he gave us a brochure and an application. I submitted original art to be considered, consisting of my fashion sketches and a cartoon series I created. I was accepted. After that, I heard no more of church school. That fall my mother and stepfather drove me to Santa Fe. I noticed a marked change in the quality of light when we made it to New Mexico. It lit up the mountains at dusk. I could feel the strength of my path and knew I was headed in the right direction. I felt inspired about my life in a way that I hadn’t been since early childhood, when I used to go outside early in the morning to talk with the sun. I was tremendously relieved to watch my stepfather pull away from the dorm, though I felt sad at my mother’s leaving. I was concerned about her safety, but through the years she’d found a way to make a relatively safe road through the abyss of her husband’s physical and psychological brutality.

• From The World of Biblical Israel (2013)

  124 Lecture 17: Life in Exile, Life in Judah an improvement in their living conditions, as we see in the story of King Jehoiachin. o Nebuchadrezzar’s records mention Jehoiachin by name and indicate that he and his five sons, along with other dignitaries deported from Jerusalem, received food rations. These records date to 592, just a few years after Jehoiachin was carried into exile. o At some point in Jehoiachin’s exile, he was imprisoned, but the final chapter of 2 Kings tells us that he was freed in the 37 th year of his exile and given a seat higher than the seats of other foreign kings in Babylonia. o His release from prison and restoration as the representative of his people may be seen as a positive omen for the Judean exiles as a whole. • Other signs of adaptation extended to all the exiles, not just to the royal family. For example, during the years of exile, Aramaic, the lingua franca of the Babylonian Empire, replaced Hebrew as the Judeans’ spoken language. Many born in exile could no longer understand Hebrew. • The Babylonians allowed the exiled communities a significant degree of self-governance, and the Bible seems to indicate that in the absence of a monarchy, the exiles organized themselves into extended families, what the Bible calls “houses of the father.” • Despite this degree of adaptation and assimilation, the community of exiles managed to maintain its separate national identity. They maintained certain cultural practices, such as circumcision, the observance of kosher food regulations, and the observance of the Sabbath. Each of these practices was part of what defined life in Judah, but once they were practiced in Babylonia, they took on added significance.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  A traumatized child who is in touch with internal sensations is paying attention to impulses from the reptilian core. As a result, the youngster is likely to notice subtle changes and responses, all of which are designed to help discharge excess energy and to complete feelings and responses that were previously blocked. Noticing these changes and responses enhances them. The changes can be extremely subtle: something that feels internally like a rock, for example, may suddenly seem to melt into a warm liquid. These changes have their most beneficial effect when they are simply watched, and not interpreted. Attaching meaning to them or telling a story about them at this time may shift the child’s perceptions into a more evolved portion of the brain, which can easily disrupt the direct connection established with the reptilian core. Bodily responses that emerge along with sensations typically include involuntary trembling, shaking, and crying. The body may want, slowly, to move in a particular way. If suppressed or interrupted by beliefs about being strong (grown up, courageous), acting normal, or abiding by familiar feelings, these responses will not be able to effectively discharge the accumulated energy. Another feature of the level of experience generated by the reptilian core is the importance of rhythm and timing. Think about i t… everything in the wild is dictated by cycles. The seasons turn, the moon waxes and wanes, tides come in and go out, the sun rises and sets. Animals follow the rhythms of natur e- mating, birthing, feeding, hunting, sleeping, and hibernating in direct response to nature’s pendulum. So, too, do the responses that bring traumatic reactions to their natural resolution. For human beings, these rhythms pose a two-fold challenge. First, they move at a much slower pace than we are accustomed to. Second, they are entirely beyond our control. Healing cycles can only be opened up to, watched, and validated; they cannot be evaluated, manipulated, hurried, or changed. When they get the time and attention they need, they are able to complete their healing mission. Immersed in the realm of instinctual responses, your child will undergo at least one such cycle. How can you tell when it is complete? Tune in to your child. Traumatized children who remain in the sensing mode without engaging their thought processes feel a release and an opening; their attention then focuses back on the external world. You will be able to sense this shift in your child, and know that healing has taken place.