Relief

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From The Decameron (1353)

  we felt so sorry for his mule.’ ‘Since I am a guest in your house,’ said Melissus, ‘I have no intention of opposing your wishes.’ Having laid his hands on a good, stout stick of sapling oak, Joseph made his way to his wife’s bedroom, to which she had retired, mumbling and muttering angrily to herself, from the supper-table. And grabbing her by the tresses, he flung her to the floor at his feet and began to belabour her cruelly. The woman first began to shriek and then to threaten; but on finding that Joseph was totally unmoved by all this, she began, bruised and battered from head to toe, to plead with him in God’s name to spare her life, saying she would never again do anything to displease him. None of this had the slightest effect upon Joseph, who on the contrary tanned her hide with ever-increasing fury, dealing her hefty blows about the ribs, the haunches, and the shoulders until eventually he stopped from sheer exhaustion. And to cut a long story short, there was not a bone nor a muscle nor a sinew in the good woman’s back that was not rent asunder. His task completed, Joseph came back to Melissus and said to him: ‘Tomorrow we shall see how Solomon’s advice to go to Goose-bridge has stood up to the test.’ Then, having rested for a while, he washed his hands and supped with Melissus; and in due course they both retired to bed. Meanwhile his unfortunate wife picked herself up with great difficulty from the floor and collapsed on to her bed, where she slept as best she could till the following morning. And having risen very early, she sent to ask Joseph what he would like for breakfast. Joseph had a good laugh with Melissus over this, and issued the necessary instructions. And when, in due course, they came down to breakfast, they found an excellent meal awaiting them, precisely as Joseph had ordered. Hence they were both full of praise for the advice which at first they had ill understood. A few days later, Melissus took his leave of Joseph and returned home, where he told a wise man about what he had heard from Solomon; and the man said: ‘He could not have given you a truer or a better piece of advice. You know perfectly well that you love no one, and that you dispense your hospitality and your favours, not because you love other people, but merely for pomp and pride. Love, therefore, as Solomon told you, and you will be loved.’ 5 So that was how the shrew was punished, and how the young man came to be loved through loving others.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

   Don’t let them jump up, which they may be tempted to do. The feeling of having to do something, to act in some way, can override the essential need for stillness and the discharge of energy. They may want to deny the magnitude of the accident and might act like they are fine.  Stay with the injured person.  Assure them that you will stay with them, that help is on the way (if it seems to be the case). They have been injured, but they are going to be OK. (obviously you need to use your judgment here-you may not want to say this if they are seriously injured.)  Keep them warm, e.g., covered with a light blanket.  If the accident is not too serious, encourage the person to experience their bodily sensations, which may include: “adrenaline rush”, numbness, shaking and trembling, feeling hot or chilled.  Stay present so you can help the person discharge.  Let them know it is not only OK that they shake, but it is good and will help them release the shock. They will get a sense of relief after the shaking is completed and may feel warmth in their hands and feet. Their breathing should be fuller and easier.  This initial phase could easily take 15-20 minutes.  When help does arrive, continue to stay with the injured person if possible.  If necessary, get someone to help you process the event. Phase II: Once the Person is Moved Home or to the Hospital Continue to keep them quiet and resting until they are out of the acute shock reaction.  Injured people should always take a day or two off work to allow themselves to re-integrate. This is important even if they perceive the injury doesn’t justify staying home. (This resistance can be a common denial mechanism and defense from feelings of helplessness.) Common injuries, such as whiplash, will compound and require much longer healing times if this initial recovery phase is bypassed. A day or two of rest is good insurance.  In this secondary phase, the accident survivor is likely to begin to have emotions come up. Allow the emotions to be felt without judgment. They might include: anger, fear, grief, guilt, anxiety.  The injured person may continue to have bodily sensations like shaking, chills, etc. This is still fine. Phase III: Beginning to Access and Renegotiate the Trauma This phase often coincides with Phase II and is essential for accessing the stored energy of trauma so that it can be fully released. Akhter Ahsen has studied the details of what happens to a person before, during, and after a traumatic event. It is important to help people recall the peripheral images, feelings, and sensations they experienced, not just those directly related to the event.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  Those who remained isolate d obsessively watching replays of the disaster, listening to interviews with geologists claiming “the big one is yet to come ” — were much more susceptible to traumatic effects than those who supported each other in community. Several of my colleagues from Los Angeles reported that ornamental carp (large goldfish) in their garden ponds formed into tight groups some hours before the earthquake. They remained that way for several hours afterwards. I was told a similar story by Nancy Harvey, a consulting ethologist for the San Diego Wildlife Park. I asked Nancy whether the animals exhibited trauma-like symptoms after the fierce southern California fire burned right up to the edge of the antelope habitat. She said that they hadn’t, and described a curious behavior in which the impala and other antelope populations formed groups away from the fences, and remained together until the fire was extinguished. Somatic Experiencin g ® While I recognize the shamanic approach as valid, and am grateful for what I have learned while working and teaching with shamans from several different cultures, the Somatic Experiencing approach presented in this book is not shamanic. One important difference, I believe, is that each of us has a greater capacity to heal ourselves than the shamanic approach would suggest. We can do much to retrieve our own souls. With the support of friends and relatives, we gain a powerful resource for our healing journeys. This section includes exercises designed to help you heal trauma in yourself and others. Obviously, a trained professional is beneficial for guiding the process, particularly if the trauma took place at an early age, or abuse and betrayal occurred. However, even without professional assistance these exercises can be very powerful when practiced alone, in pairs, or in groups. Keep in mind that denial can be a powerful force. A word of warning: doing these exercises can activate traumatic symptoms. If you feel overwhelmed or consistently stuck, please seek professional help. In the shamanic approach, the medicine man or woman calls for the spirit to return to the body. In Somatic Experiencing, you initiate your own healing by re-integrating lost or fragmented portions of your essential self. In order to accomplish this task, you need a strong desire to become whole again. This desire will serve as an anchor through which your soul can reconnect to your body. Healing will take place as formerly frozen elements of your experience (in the form of symptoms) are released from their trauma-serving tasks, enabling you to gradually thaw. When you thaw, you have the possibility to become more fluid and functional. Acknowledging the Need to Heal Cultures that use ritual and shamans to heal trauma may seem primitive and superstitious, but they have one important advantag e - they address the problem directly. These cultures openly acknowledge the need to heal when someone in their community has been overwhelmed.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  Joe now notices his shoulders pulling up and off to the right. He becomes aware of his arm wanting to turn the wheel to the right just as he hears the crash and buckling of metal. Tom asks Joe to ignore the crash for the moment, focus on the sensation, and complete the turn to the right. Joe makes the turn in his body and “avoids” the accident. He has some more mild shaking that is quickly followed by a tremendous amount of relie f even though he knows the accident did happen. Tom asks Joe to return to the point where he first saw the yellow fender and the man through the windshield. From there they move to the moment where he hears the first clang of metal. As these images are accessed, Joe feels his body being thrown to the left, while at the same time, it is pulling back in the opposite direction. He feels like he is being propelled forward and his back muscles are trying, unsuccessfully, to pull him back. Tom encourages Joe to keep feeling his back muscles. Joe experiences increased tension as he focuses on the muscles. He then experiences a slight feeling of panic. At that point, Joe’s back muscles release and he breaks into a sweat. He shakes and trembles deeply for several minutes. At the end of this, Joe discovers himself feeling peaceful and safe. Joe knows that the accident happened. He knows that he tried to avoid it. He knows that he wanted to go back to talk to his wife. Each of these experiences are equally real for him. It doesn’t seem like one is real and the others are made up; they appear as different outcomes to the same event, both equally real. In the few days following the release of the energy stored in trauma, the symptoms in Joe’s right arm and back cleared up significantly. It is important to recognize that the pain he was experiencing was related to impulses he had that had not been completed. The first impulse was to turn the steering wheel to the right and to go back to talk to his wife. The second was to turn right to avoid the accident. A third was the muscles in his back that were trying to pull him back. Being encouraged to complete each of these actions, Joe was able to release the stored energy associated with the impulses, even if it was after the fact. We can see that this process offers a way to allow responses to complete and images to become more connected (associated). Images that are constricted become expanded, while stored energy is released through gradual discharge and completio n one step at a time. 17. First Aid for Children Delayed Traumatic Reactions

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  I sat in the car for a moment, stunned. Realizing that I was OK, I got out of the car to assess the damage. Although the car was pretty badly crunched, I was not overly upset about it, because the guy had insurance and the police report would show that he was at fault. I also noticed myself thinking that I wanted to get the car repainted anyway. I felt pretty good, almost euphoric. I was pleased at how easily I moved from the accident into a difficult business meeting later that day. I was prepared for the meeting and handled it quite well. The next day I began to feel agitated. There was a stiffness in my neck, right shoulder, and arm that surprised me, since I had been hit on the left side. Looking back at what happened earlier the day of the accident (periphery of the event), and working through the event with his friend Tom, Joe (we will call the man who had the accident Joe) remembered get- ting into his car to go to work and being mad at his wife. As he recalls this, he becomes aware that his jaw is clenched and trembling. His body begins to shake and feels like it is going out of control. His friend Tom reassures him it’s going to be OK. Once Joe stops shaking and feels some relief, they go on to explore more of the details prior to the accident. Joe remembers backing out of the driveway and turning his head to the right to see where he is going. He feels his arms turning the wheel, and at the same time he notices that as a result of being angry, he is accelerating too hard. His right leg tenses as he moves his foot to the brake to slow down (he senses this action in the muscles of his legs). Encouraged by his friend Tom, Joe takes time to feel the tensing and relaxing that is happening in his right leg. As he moves from gas to brake and back again, he feels some trembling in his legs. Then Joe remembers driving down the street and feeling that he wanted to go back to talk to his wife. With Tom’s encouragement, he imagines himself turning to go back and gets a pain in his right arm that is intensifying. As they focus on that sensation, the pain begins to subside. They focus on Joe’s desire to turn around. This time Joe is able to complete the turn in his body and mind and imagines returning home to resolve things with his wife.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  Luther, with Melanchthon, Carlstadt, and the other doctors and masters, returned home immediately after the act. He at first had trembled at the step, and prayed for light; but after the deed was done, he felt more cheerful than ever. He regarded his excommunication as an emancipation from all restraints of popery and monasticism. On the same day he calmly informed Spalatin of the event as a piece of news.293 On the next day he warned the students in the lecture-room against the Romish Antichrist, and told them that it was high time to burn the papal chair with all its teachers and abominations.294 He publicly announced his act in a Latin and German treatise, "Why the Books of the Pope and his Disciples were burned by Dr. Martin Luther." He justified it by his duties as a baptized Christian, as a sworn doctor of divinity, as a daily preacher, to root out all unchristian doctrines. He cites from the papal law-books thirty articles and errors in glorification of the papacy, which deserve to be burned; and calls the whole Canon-law "the abomination of desolation" (Matt. 24:15) and antichristian (2 Thess. 2:4), since the sum of its teaching was, that "the Pope is God on earth, above all things, heavenly and earthly, spiritual and temporal; all things belong to the Pope, and no one dare ask, What doest thou?" Simultaneously with this tract, he published an exhaustive defense of all his own articles which had been condemned by the Pope, and planted himself upon the rock of God’s revelation in the Scriptures. Leo X., after the expiration of the one hundred and twenty days of grace allowed to Luther by the terms of the bull, proceeded to the last step, and on the third day of January, 1521, pronounced the ban against the Reformer, and his followers, and an interdict on the places where they should be harbored. But Luther had deprived the new bull of its effect. The burning of the Pope’s bull was the boldest and most eventful act of Luther. Viewed in itself, it might indeed have been only an act of fanaticism and folly, and proved a brutum fulmen. But it was preceded and followed by heroic acts of faith in pulling down an old church, and building up a new one. It defied the greatest power on earth, before which emperors, kings, and princes, and all the nations of Europe bowed in reverence and awe. It was the fiery signal of absolute and final separation from Rome, and destroyed the effect of future papal bulls upon one-half of Western Christendom. It emancipated Luther and the entire Protestant world from that authority, which, from a wholesome school of discipline for young nations, had become a fearful and intolerable tyranny over the intellect and conscience of men.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  A friend recently told me a story that vividly illustrates this animal instinct in action. On a trip through Africa, Anita, her husband, and their three-year-old son went on a safari in Kenya. They were traveling through the Masai Mara desert in a van and had stopped to rest. She and her husband sat opposite one another in the car; their three-year-old son sat in her husband’s lap next to an open window. They were talking about some of the animals they had seen when my friend suddenly found her body hurling across the van to slam the window shut for no apparent reason. Then she sa w- that is, became consciously aware of the snake rising out of the grass outside the van, a few feet from her son’s face. The mother’s response preceded her conscious awareness of the snake. A delay could have had deadly consequences. The instinctive brain will often orient, organize, and respond to the stimuli well before we are consciously aware of them. Flee, Figh t… or Freeze As Grant watched, a single forearm reached up very slowly to part the ferns beside the animals face. The limb, Grant saw, was strongly muscled. The hand had three grasping fingers, each ending in curved claws. The hand gently, slowly, pushed aside the ferns. Grant felt a chill and thought, He’s hunting us. For a mammal like man, there is something indescribably alien about the way reptiles hunted their prey. No wonder men hated reptiles. The stillness, the coolness, the pace was all wrong. To be among alligators or the larger reptiles was to be remind- ed of a different kind of life, a different kind of worl d … — Michael Crichton, Jurassic Park Certain species have developed mechanisms that are especially well suited to keeping them safe. To avoid detection and attack the zebra uses camouflage; the turtle hides; moles burrow; dogs, wolves, and coyotes roll over in a submissive posture. The behaviors of fighting, fleeing, and freezing are so primitive that they predate even the reptilian brain. These survival tools are found in all species, from spiders and cockroaches to primates and human beings. Universal and primitive defensive behaviors are called the “fight or flight” strategies. If the situation calls for aggression, a threatened creature will fight. If the threatened animal is likely to lose the fight, it will run if it can. These choices aren’t thought out; they are instinctually orchestrated by the reptilian and limbic brains. When neither fight nor flight will ensure the animal’s safety, there is another line of defense: immobility (freezing), which is just as universal and basic to survival. For inexplicable reasons, this defense strategy is rarely given equal billing in texts on biology and psychology. Yet, it is an equally viable survival strategy in threatening situations. In many situations, it is the best choice.

• From Apprenticed to Venus: My Secret Life with Anaïs Nin (2017)

  “No, I simply promised him that I would look into the matter, and I have.” “Has he called you again?” Something had happened to make Dr. Inch do a turnabout towards me. “No. And I do not wish to get involved. If he phones me again I will refer him directly to you.” If Hugo hadn’t phoned Dr. Inch again, what had caused him to go from treating me as a pest to be eliminated, to a pansy to be nurtured? I was pretty sure Renate would know. She had speculated that something could be done. Maybe her Gothic witchiness wasn’t all appearance. When I phoned Renate, she was effusively happy for me and pleased that I’d found out what Dr. Inch had said to Hugo. But when I asked her how Hugo had seen the letter mailed to Anaïs and why he’d made the call to Dr. Inch, she said sternly, “Don’t you know it is rude to ask so many questions?” “What’s wrong with it?” “It’s impolite. You make people feel that you are grilling them, like they are on the stand and you are cross-examining them. Where do you get that from?” “My father, I guess. When my mother fought with him, she’d always say, ‘Yes, counselor! No, counselor!’ because he fired so many questions at her.” “That’s right, Anaïs said your father is a lawyer.” Apparently, they talked about me. Then I heard Renate sigh into the phone. “Well, I suppose we cannot change your nature. Hopefully we can help you channel it. You would make an excellent lawyer.” “But I’m going to be an English professor now.” “Good. We Viennese consider professors respectable, unlike lawyers.” Then she invited me to her house the day after Thanksgiving when Anaïs would be back, promising that all would be made clear about Dr. Inch. [image file=image_rsrc3R3.jpg] “Tristine Raiiiner, I would like you to meet my son, Peter Loomer.” Renate introduced us when I arrived at her house before Anaïs. Peter had the kind of dark good looks that attracted me, and at the moment I had no one to sleep with, so it passed my mind that Renate intended to fix me up with her son. But Peter didn’t make eye contact with me, and I felt no sexual charge with him despite his James Dean looks. Behaving like the actor, his eyes studying the floor, he mumbled to his mother that he wouldn’t be home until after midnight and left, grabbing a leather jacket from a hook near the door. “Peter is shy around strangers,” Renate explained, evidently embarrassed that his manners didn’t match hers.

• From Apprenticed to Venus: My Secret Life with Anaïs Nin (2017)

  I looked at the Romanesque campus with the greedy eyes of the doomed, as the whole student body had during the Cuban Missile crisis in my freshman year. The destruction of my life now felt as unreal as that end-of-the-world scare. I felt the same disconnection from my fate now as I had from the newscasts then of Soviet missiles and bomb shelters. Perhaps this was Meursault’s detachment at the end of Camus’s The Stranger—his acceptance of the universe’s indifference. What irony: I was being kicked out of the university now that I understood existentialism. There was no fair or unfair, only one event leading to another. I had taken the stationery; I would be punished. I decided to face my end as Meursault had his execution—with grim determinism. The middle-aged secretary waved me back to Dr. Inch’s office, her sympathetic eyes following me. Without looking up from the PMLA journal he was reading, Dr. Inch said, “Miss Rainer, let’s deal with your case.” “Okay,” I said apathetically. “You will have to perform a service administered by the student judiciary council.” Not really listening, I said dully, as I imagined Meursault would, “What charge?” “Destruction of university property, namely twenty sheets of departmental stationery. Unless, of course, you can return the stationery.” “I only have a few sheets left. Four.” “That would be fine, then.” What? Was he playing with me? Had he just said there would be no consequences if I returned the four unused sheets of stationery? How could he have done such a 180-degree turn? There was the hint of a smile on his narrow lips. “I will just leave you with this piece of advice, because you are a bright and well-connected young lady. You should choose a mentor who can write. Your Anaïs Nin is a terrible novelist and a poseur. An association with her will only damage your applications to grad school. You can do better, I’m sure.” I was speechless, not only over his derision of Anaïs, a writer he hadn’t even known existed in our previous meeting, but also because he was giving me advice about applying to grad school. No one at that university had ever talked to me about my future. He further surprised me: “Why don’t you take my graduate seminar in seventeenth-century drama next year? With my permission you can enroll for credit as an undergrad.” This was suddenly going very well, and I thought I should take advantage of the new direction. “Are you also the person who could write me a recommendation for a Fulbright?” “A Fulbright? Oh, don’t bother with that. They don’t grant them to girls.” I was so relieved at not having been expelled, I didn’t even notice a door slamming in my face. Instead, I remembered that Renate wanted me to find out what Dr. Inch had told Hugo. “Did you tell Mr. Guiler the invitation wasn’t real?” I asked.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

  He tells her that he felt hurt at the party the night before, because she seemed to be ignoring him. She tells him that she just wanted to feel that she could mingle and move about without having to be dependent on him. She explains that it wasn’t anything personal and that she feels quite good about their relationship. Joe feels relieved and has a sense that he has come to a deeper understanding and appreciation of his wife. He also wonders whether or not he would have seen the oncoming car if he had resolved the issues with his wife before getting in the car. At this point, Joe feels relieved. He has some guilt for his part in the accident, even though the other person was clearly at fault for running the stop sign. Tom then asks Joe to describe the details of the road just before he had the accident, even though Joe claims he doesn’t remember what happened. As Joe begins to describe what he can recall, he feels both shoulders tighten and go up. He has a sensation of his body pulling away to the right, followed by the image of a flickering shadow. Tom asks his friend to look at the shadow, and as he does Joe begins to see the yellow color of a car (orienting response). As Joe tries to bring more detail to that image he realizes that he saw a front fender, and then the driver’s face through the windshield of the car. Joe can tell from the look on his face that he is oblivious to the fact that he has just run a stop sig n — the man seems to be lost in thought. Tom asks Joe what he is feeling and he says that he is really angry at the guy and wants to destroy him. Tom encourages Joe to imagine that he is destroying the other car. Joe sees himself getting a big hammer and smashing the other car to smithereens. He is now experiencing increased activation (more than he has before). His hands are trembling and shaking and have turned cold. Tom uses soothing words to support Joe through the process of releasing the energy. After some time, Joe begins to feel his breathing regulate, the tension in his shoulders and jaw relaxes, and the trembling settles. He has a sense of relief and warmth in his hands now. He feels relaxed and alert at the same time. Joe now notices his shoulders pulling up and off to the right. He becomes aware of his arm wanting to turn the wheel to the right just as he hears the crash and buckling of metal.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  The men roamed freely about the house in small groups, and having cooked themselves some goat’s meat and one or two other things they had brought with them, they ate and drank to their hearts’ content. They then went about their business, taking the girl’s nag with them, and when they were at a safe distance from the cottage, the good man turned to his wife, and said: ‘Whatever became of the young woman who came to us yesterday evening? I haven’t set eyes on her from the time we got up.’ The good woman said she had no idea, and went off to look for her. On realizing that the men had gone away, the girl clambered out of the hay. The old man was greatly relieved to discover that she had not fallen into their clutches, and since it was now growing light he said to her: ‘Now that the day is breaking, we shall go with you, if you like, to a castle which is only five miles away, where you will find yourself in good hands. You’ll have to walk, though, because that bunch of rogues who have just left took your nag away with them.’ Resigning herself to the loss of her nag, the girl begged them in God’s name to conduct her to the castle; whereupon they set out, and arrived there when the hour of tierce was about half spent. The castle belonged to a member of the Orsini family called Liello di Campo di Fiore, whose wife, a devout and exceedingly worthy woman, happened at that time to be staying there. On seeing Agnolella, she recognized her instantly and gave her a cordial welcome, and insisted on knowing precisely how she came to be there. The girl told her the whole story from start to finish. The lady, who also knew Pietro because he was a friend of her husband, was greatly distressed to learn what had happened, and on hearing where he had been seized, she was convinced that he must be dead. So she said to the girl: ‘Since you have no idea what has become of Pietro, you must stay here with me until such time as I can send you safely back to Rome.’ Pietro had meanwhile stayed put in the branches of the oak, feeling as miserable as sin, and towards midnight he saw at least a score of wolves approaching. On seeing the nag, they crept up on him from all sides, but the nag heard them coming, and, tossing his head, broke loose from his tether and started to run away. Since he was surrounded, he could not get very far, so he set about the wolves with his teeth and his hooves, holding them at bay for quite some time till eventually they forced him to the ground, throttled the life out of him, and tore out his innards.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  One of the three ambassadors, an elderly gentleman who wielded great authority and whose name was Phineas, fixed his gaze on Pietro, who was stripped to the waist with his hands tied behind his back, and perceived that on his chest there was a large red spot, which was not painted on the skin but imprinted there by Nature, being what the women in this part of the world describe as a strawberry mark. On seeing this, he was at once reminded of a son of his who had been abducted by pirates from the shore at Lajazzo 9 some fifteen years earlier and had never been heard of since. Having made a mental estimate of the age of the poor wretch who was being scourged, he calculated that his son, if he were still alive, would be roughly the same age. Hence, because of the mark on the youth’s chest, he began to suspect that this was his own son; and he thought to himself that if this were indeed the case, the youth would still remember his name and that of his father, as well as one or two words of the Armenian language. So when the youth came within earshot, Phineas called out: ‘Theodor!’ As soon as he heard this cry, Pietro raised his head, whereupon Phineas addressed him in Armenian, saying: ‘Where do you come from? Whose son are you?’ The soldiers escorting him halted in deference to the great man, allowing Pietro to reply: ‘I am from Armenia, my father’s name was Phineas, and I was brought here as a child by strangers.’ On hearing these words, Phineas knew for certain that this was the son he had lost. With tears in his eyes, he descended with his companions and ran through the ranks of the soldiers to embrace him. He then removed the exquisite silken cloak he was wearing, threw it over the young man’s shoulders, and asked the leader of the execution-party to be good enough to wait there until he received the order to proceed. The man readily agreed to do so. Phineas was already aware of the reason for which the young man was being led away to his death, for it had been bruited all over the town, and he therefore hurried off with his companions and their retinue to Messer Currado, whom he addressed as follows: ‘Sir, this fellow whom you are sending to die as a slave is my own son, a freeman, and he is prepared to plight his troth to the girl he is alleged to have robbed of her virginity. I beg you therefore to postpone the execution until it is known whether she will have him as her husband, for otherwise you may find that you have acted illegally.’ On hearing that the youth was the son of Phineas, Messer Currado was filled with astonishment.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  The Abbot, being a sensible man, had by this time swallowed his pride, and informed him where he was going and why, whereupon Ghino took his leave of him, and resolved to try and cure him without the aid of spa-waters. Having given instructions that the room should be closely guarded and that a large fire should be kept burning in the grate, he left the Abbot alone until the following morning, when he returned bringing him two slices of toasted bread wrapped in a spotless white cloth, together with a large glass of Corniglia5 wine from the Abbot’s own stores. And he addressed the Abbot as follows: ‘My lord, when Ghino was younger, he studied medicine, and he claims to have learnt that there is no better cure for the stomachache than the one he is about to administer, which begins with these things I have brought you. Take them, then, and be of good cheer.’ His hunger being greater than his appetite for jesting, the Abbot ate the bread and drank the wine, at the same time displaying his indignation. He then became very truculent, asked a number of questions, and issued a lot of advice; and he made a special point of asking to see Ghino. Since much of what he had said was pointless, Ghino chose to ignore it; but to some of the Abbot’s questions he gave polite answers, affirming that Ghino would visit him as soon as he could. Having given him this assurance, he took his leave, and a whole day elapsed before he returned, bringing the same quantity of toasted bread and Corniglia wine as before. He kept him in this fashion for several days, until he perceived that the Abbot had eaten some dried beans, which he had deliberately left in the room after smuggling them in on an earlier visit. He therefore asked the Abbot on Ghino’s behalf whether his stomach seemed any better, to which the Abbot replied: ‘It would seem to be all right, if only I were out of his clutches; and apart from that, my one great longing is to eat, so fully have his remedies restored me to health.’ Ghino therefore made arrangements for the Abbot’s servants to furnish a stately chamber with the Abbot’s own effects, and gave orders for a great banquet to be prepared, to which a number of the residents and all of the Abbot’s retinue were invited. And next morning he went to the Abbot and said: ‘My lord, since you are feeling well again, the time has come for you to leave the sick-room.’ And taking him by the hand, he led him to the stately chamber and left him there with his own attendants, whilst he went off to make sure that the banquet would be truly magnificent.

• From Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma (1997)

   Sensatio n- I felt my back tense as I gripped the steering wheel.  Though t- There may be a sudden recognition, “Oh my God, it’s going to happe n… I’m going to die!” You may notice that as the discharge occurs, images of the event may change. Phase IV: Experiencing the Moment of Impact As people re-access the moment of impact, they may hear glass shattering, the sounds of metal, or see their bodies twisting or being thrown. Explore anything (and everything) that is there through the felt sense. As reactions come up, the body may spontaneously (usually slightly) begin to move. Allow fifteen to twenty minutes for the movements to complete, facilitating the discharge of energy by focusing on the sensations in the body. After the discharge, people experience a sense of relief, usually followed by feelings of warmth in the extremities. People may feel their bodies going rapidly in two directions, e.g., “As I was hurled into the windshield I felt my back muscles tense and pull me in the opposite direction.” Reassure them that they are OK and allow them to sequence through the movements slowly. Some people may now re-experience a few of the more acute shock reactions such as shaking and trembling. Be supportive and acknowledge that they are making progress. People may also experience themselves avoiding the accident completely. Or, they may jump around between the different phases outlined here. This is fine as long as they aren’t entirely avoiding certain aspects, particularly the moment of impact. It is important to stay with this phase until you can conclude at a point where the people feel a full sense of relief. Their breathing will become easier and their heart rate more steady. Achieving this goal could take as long as an hour. You can pick up where you left off and continue the process over a period of two to three days if needed. This is preferable to pushing too hard to complete it in one session. You may need to bring them back, gradually, to incomplete areas a few times to allow for full completion. To End After reaching the point where all phases have been satisfactorily completed, describe the entire experience again and look for activation. If the person is feeling discomfort, something may have been missed, or it may be resolved with this final review of the whole process. Suspend work unless symptoms continue or develop later. If so, review any necessary steps. Feelings or remembrances of other experiences may also begin to come up. If this is the case, you can begin the same process we have just gone through to handle other unresolved or unrelated trauma. However, this process can take place much more slowly and over a longer period of time. If someone has a pattern or tendency for accidents, this can help prevent future incidents by reestablishing the person’s innate resiliency and capacity to orient and respond. Scenario of Healing Following an Accident

• From Apprenticed to Venus: My Secret Life with Anaïs Nin (2017)

  As I climbed the old stairs on the side of the house, shivering, covered with goose bumps, my legs shaking, I felt the exhilaration of freedom. She was gone, and I had said good-bye. After a warm shower, wrapped in my robe, I opened the Dutch windows to the night and listened to the crashing waves below. Not far from the moon, I saw dazzling Venus, brilliant as a fiery diamond, and thought of Anaïs elevated on her giddy trapeze from spouse to spouse. Observing Venus that evening as I would for decades to come, I recognized that despite my scrutiny of Anaïs’s every word and deed, her mystery could be grasped only on her own terms of metaphor and myth. For in that realm it so happens that once in a hundred years or so, as often as Venus makes her transit across the sun or certain rare fire flowers bloom, the goddess of love descends to inhabit the body of a girl who will become a beautiful woman. The mettle of the young woman’s character will not matter; the more malleable, the better for Venus’s ends. Nor need she be faithful except to her own wild essence, like a fox or a heron. Perhaps, as Anaïs, the goddess also chose to become a writer, a diarist, to remind all women that beneath Earth’s girdles and jackets lies our limitless capacity for lust and love. Acknowledgments I WISH TO THANK MY agent Stephany Evans for her steadfast belief in this book, and my editor Chelsey Emmelhainz, who got what I was trying to achieve and whose clear vision and careful editing focused the text. A special thanks to two friends, novelist James Rogers and my former screenwriting agent Nancy Nigrosh, for reading and re-reading the manuscript, refueling me with their recommendations and enthusiasm, to Molly Friedrich for her generosity in giving me notes, and to those writer friends who read early versions and made suggestions, Diana Raab, Steven Reigns, Marijane Datson, Brad Schreiber, and Chip Jacobs. Thanks also to my young readers, Kateland Carr and Elena del Real, for sharing where the book resonated, to Michael D. Roback, MD, for advice and rollicking editing discussions, and to Nancy Bein, John Upton, Donald Freed, Jamie Rainer, and members of the Immaculate Heart Community for caring encouragement. I am grateful to Dean Echenberg, MD, and to Vancouver photographer Derek Lepper for digging in old files and sending images of me in the Malibu house from the early 1970s. I wish personally to thank Anaïs Nin’s excellent biographers, Deirdre Baer and Noel Riley Finch, in appreciation of their research and works upon which I relied, and to all those Nin friends and scholars who have shared with me their knowledge, including Paul Herron. There are two men, now deceased, who I must also thank: Nin’s editor John Ferrone, who read the manuscript at its inception and, even in his illness, gave me notes, and Rupert Pole, who gave me written permission to read Anaïs’s handwritten diaries and letters at UCLA Special Collections and to tell his complicated love story with her.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  He then summoned the carpenter, the owner of the trunk, and the money-lenders, and after listening to a string of tall stories from the money-lenders, he found that they had stolen the trunk during the night and brought it into their house. Finally he sent for Ruggieri and asked him where he had lodged the previous evening. Ruggieri replied that he had no idea where he had lodged, but that he clearly remembered going to lodge with Doctor Mazzeo’s maid, in whose bedroom he had drunk some water because he was very thirsty; what happened to him after that he was unable to say, except that he had woken up in the money-lenders’ house to find himself inside a trunk. The judge was greatly entertained by what he had heard, and made Ruggieri and the maid and the carpenter and the money-lenders repeat their stories several times over. In the end, pronouncing Ruggieri innocent, he ordered the money-lenders to pay a fine of ten gold florins, and set Ruggieri at liberty. You can all imagine what a relief this was for Ruggieri, and of course his mistress was absolutely delighted. She later celebrated his release in the company of Ruggieri himself, and along with the dear maid who had wanted to stick him with a knife, they had many a good laugh about it together. Their love continued to flourish, affording them greater and greater pleasure – which is what I should like to happen to me, except that I would not want to be stuffed inside a trunk. * * * If the earlier stories had saddened the fair ladies’ hearts, this last one of Dioneo’s caused so much merriment, especially the bit about the judge and his little nibble, that it drove away the melancholy engendered by the others. But perceiving that the sun was beginning to turn yellow and that his reign had come to a close, the king offered the fair ladies a most handsome apology for having foisted so disagreeable a theme as the misfortunes of lovers upon them. Having made his excuses, he stood up and removed the laurel wreath from his head.

• From Apprenticed to Venus: My Secret Life with Anaïs Nin (2017)

  I looked at the Romanesque campus with the greedy eyes of the doomed, as the whole student body had during the Cuban Missile crisis in my freshman year. The destruction of my life now felt as unreal as that end-of-the-world scare. I felt the same disconnection from my fate now as I had from the newscasts then of Soviet missiles and bomb shelters. Perhaps this was Meursault’s detachment at the end of Camus’s The Stranger—his acceptance of the universe’s indifference. What irony: I was being kicked out of the university now that I understood existentialism. There was no fair or unfair, only one event leading to another. I had taken the stationery; I would be punished. I decided to face my end as Meursault had his execution—with grim determinism. The middle-aged secretary waved me back to Dr. Inch’s office, her sympathetic eyes following me. Without looking up from the PMLA journal he was reading, Dr. Inch said, “Miss Rainer, let’s deal with your case.” “Okay,” I said apathetically. “You will have to perform a service administered by the student judiciary council.” Not really listening, I said dully, as I imagined Meursault would, “What charge?” “Destruction of university property, namely twenty sheets of departmental stationery. Unless, of course, you can return the stationery.” “I only have a few sheets left. Four.” “That would be fine, then.” What? Was he playing with me? Had he just said there would be no consequences if I returned the four unused sheets of stationery? How could he have done such a 180-degree turn? There was the hint of a smile on his narrow lips. “I will just leave you with this piece of advice, because you are a bright and well-connected young lady. You should choose a mentor who can write. Your Anaïs Nin is a terrible novelist and a poseur. An association with her will only damage your applications to grad school. You can do better, I’m sure.” I was speechless, not only over his derision of Anaïs, a writer he hadn’t even known existed in our previous meeting, but also because he was giving me advice about applying to grad school. No one at that university had ever talked to me about my future. He further surprised me: “Why don’t you take my graduate seminar in seventeenth-century drama next year? With my permission you can enroll for credit as an undergrad.” This was suddenly going very well, and I thought I should take advantage of the new direction. “Are you also the person who could write me a recommendation for a Fulbright?” “A Fulbright? Oh, don’t bother with that. They don’t grant them to girls.” I was so relieved at not having been expelled, I didn’t even notice a door slamming in my face. Instead, I remembered that Renate wanted me to find out what Dr. Inch had told Hugo. “Did you tell Mr. Guiler the invitation wasn’t real?” I asked.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  There’s nothing special down here about the mother of a godchild.” I was so relieved to hear it that I could have wept.’ The dawn was now approaching, so Tingoccio said: ‘Farewell, Meuccio, I can’t stay here any longer.’ And all of a sudden he was gone. Having learnt that there was nothing special down there about the mother of a godchild, Meuccio began to laugh at his own stupidity for having in the past spared several such ladies from his attentions. From that day forth, having shed his ignorance, he was a much wiser man in dealing with such matters. And if only Friar Rinaldo had known as much as Meuccio, there would have been no need for him to make up syllogisms when persuading Madonna Agnesa to minister to his pleasures. * * * The sun was descending in the west and a gentle breeze had risen, when the king, having brought his story to an end, removed the crown of laurel from his brow, there being no one else left to speak, and placed it upon the head of Lauretta, saying: ‘With this, your namesake, 1 madam, I crown you queen of our company. And now it is up to you, as our empress, to give such orders as you consider apt for our common entertainment and pleasure.’ He then returned to his place and sat down, and Lauretta, having be come their queen, summoned the steward and ordered him to set the tables in the delectable valley at a somewhat earlier hour than usual, so that they could return at their leisure to the palace; and she also instructed him about the things he was to do during the rest of her reign. This done, she turned to address the company, saying: ‘Yesterday, Dioneo insisted that we should talk, today, about the tricks played upon husbands by their wives; and but for the fact that I do not wish it to be thought that I belong to that breed of snapping curs who immediately turn round and retaliate, I should oblige you, on the morrow, to talk about the tricks played on wives by their husbands. But instead of doing that, I should like each of you to think of a story about the tricks that people in general, men and women alike, are forever playing upon one another . This, I feel sure, will be no less agreeable a topic than the one to which we have today been addressing ourselves.’ Having spoken these words, she rose to her feet and dismissed the company until suppertime. And so the whole company arose, gentlemen and ladies alike, and some of them began to wade, barefooted, in the limpid waters of the lake, whilst others went roaming off over the greensward to beguile the time amongst the tall, straight trees. Dioneo and Fiammetta sang a long duet about Palamon and Arcite.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  Ferondo's return and his talk, well nigh every one believing him to have risen from the dead, added infinitely to the renown of the abbot's sanctity, and he himself, as if cured of his jealousy by the many beatings he had received therefor, thenceforward, according to the promise made by the abbot to the lady, was no more jealous; whereat she was well pleased and lived honestly with him, as of her wont, save indeed that, whenas she conveniently might, she willingly foregathered with the holy abbot, who had so well and diligently served her in her greatest needs." THE NINTH STORY [Day the Third] GILLETTE DE NARBONNE RECOVERETH THE KING OF FRANCE OF A FISTULA AND DEMANDETH FOR HER HUSBAND BERTRAND DE ROUSSILLON, WHO MARRIETH HER AGAINST HIS WILL AND BETAKETH HIM FOR DESPITE TO FLORENCE, WHERE, HE PAYING COURT TO A YOUNG LADY, GILLETTE, IN THE PERSON OF THE LATTER, LIETH WITH HIM AND HATH BY HIM TWO SONS; WHEREFORE AFTER, HOLDING HER DEAR, HE ENTERTAINETH HER FOR HIS WIFE Lauretta's story being now ended, it rested but with the queen to tell, an she would not infringe upon Dioneo's privilege; wherefore, without waiting to be solicited by her companions, she began all blithesomely to speak thus: "Who shall tell a story that may appear goodly, now we have heard that of Lauretta? Certes, it was well for us that hers was not the first, for that few of the others would have pleased after it, as I misdoubt me[199] will betide of those which are yet to tell this day. Natheless, be that as it may, I will e'en recount to you that which occurreth to me upon the proposed theme. [Footnote 199: Lit. and so I hope (_spero_), a curious instance of the ancient Dantesque use of the word _spero_, I hope, in its contrary sense of fear.]

• From The Decameron (1353)

  However, he wished to retain the key to the warehouse, so as to be able to display his merchandise if anyone should ask him to do so, and also to ensure that his goods were not interfered with or exchanged or moved elsewhere. The lady agreed that this was a wise precaution, and declared that a surety of this kind would be more than adequate. Early next morning, she sent for a broker who was privy to most of her secrets, and having explained the situation to him, she gave him a thousand gold florins, which the broker lent to Salabaetto, having first ensured that all the goods that Salabaetto had at the dogana were transferred to his own name. Various documents were signed and countersigned by the two men, and when all was settled between them, they went their separate ways to attend to their other affairs. At the earliest opportunity, Salabaetto took ship with his fifteen hundred gold florins, and returned to Pietro dello Canigiano in Naples, whence he made full remittance to his principals in Florence for the woollens with which they had originally sent him to Palermo. And having paid Pietro and all his other creditors, he made merry with Canigiano over the trick he had played on the Sicilian woman, celebrating his success for several days on end. He then left Naples, and having decided to retire from commerce, made his way to Ferrara. When Jancofiore learned that Salabaetto was no longer to be found in Palermo, her suspicions were aroused and she began to wonder what had become of him. After waiting for at least two months without seeing any sign of him, she got the broker to force a way into the warehouse. And having first of all tested the casks, which were supposed to be full of oil, she discovered that they were filled with sea-water, apart from about a firkin of oil that was floating at the top of each cask, near the bung-hole. Then, untying the bales, she found that all except two (which consisted of woollens) were filled with tow. And in fact, to cut a long story short, the whole consignment was worth no more than two hundred florins. On perceiving that she had been outwitted, Jancofiore lamented long and bitterly over the five hundred florins she had repaid, and even more over the thousand she had lent, frequently repeating to herself the old saw: ‘Honesty’s the better line, when dealing with a Florentine.’ And so it was that, having burnt her fingers and covered herself in ridicule, she discovered that some people are every bit as knowing as others.