Joy

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

Page 32 of 299 · 20 per page

• From H Is for Hawk (2014)

  But then there is an explosive, tearing waterfall of rearing flame that bursts into appalling brightness. Erin’s eyebrows go up. He steps back a good few paces. And now I am laughing so much I can hardly stand. ‘Jesus, Erin,’ I shout. It’s as if he’s set light to the whole of the world: a twenty-foot pyramid of flame lighting the lawn, the house, the river, the far side of the river, sending black shadows out from trees that a moment ago were lost in darkness, and our faces are gilded with fierce, orange fire. What the hell have we done? The smoke mixes with the fog so that everything, everywhere is on fire. The incandescent tree, black twigs sintering, clicking, crumbling, and smoke, and Erin and I now wearing the faces of people who are going to be in serious trouble. ‘I think we might be seeing the fire truck any moment now,’ Erin shouts, and we’re both of us children again, delighted at what we have made and fearful of disaster. And then the fire is out. The skeleton stands in the snow, all its complexity gone. Just a thin trunk with a few charcoal branches, already damp in the steaming air. And I stare at the remains of the tree and breathe the smoke and fog from the air and Erin makes a face at me and I make one back. ‘That,’ he says, ‘was excellent.’ It was. A ritual burn, a ceremony of strange, protective magic. Bad things had fled from that burning tree. We laugh all the way back to the house, leaving the skeleton upright in the snow. And later that day Mum and I fly back to London. I drive her home, promise to see her soon, then make my way to Cambridge, and Stuart and Mandy’s house. I run to their door. I cannot wait to see my hawk. There she is, perched in their garden, fat and happy in a crowd of pointers with wagging tails. I thank Stuart for looking after her while I was gone. He stands by the patio doors, strangely drawn and tired. ‘No worries,’ he says. ‘I’ve not done much with her, to be honest. I’ve had flu. It’s been terrible. I’ve been in bed all Christmas. Just thrown her food.’ ‘Poor Stu,’ Mandy says, coming towards the table with three cups of coffee and a packet of open biscuits. ‘He’s really been in the wars.’ I look at my friends and my heart crumples. They have spent so many hours helping me, have shown me so much love. And I had taken it all for granted. ‘Thank you. Thank you so much,’ I say. ‘I love you guys. I really do.’ I say it with as much feeling as I can. I am not just thanking them for looking after my hawk. I get up to give Stuart a hug. ‘Don’t catch it,’ he says, backing away. I hug him anyway.

• From Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance (1995)

  We followed Yusuf and Sayid down a path running perpendicular to the main road, until we crossed a wall of tall hedges and entered a large compound. In the middle of the compound was a low, rectangular house with a corrugated-iron roof and concrete walls that had crumbled on one side, leaving their brown mud base exposed. Bougainvillea, red and pink and yellow with flowers, spread along one side in the direction of a large concrete water tank, and across the packed earth was a small round hut lined with earthenware pots where a few chickens pecked in an alternating rhythm. I could see two more huts in the wide grass yard that stretched out behind the house. Beneath a tall mango tree, a pair of bony red cows looked up at us before returning to feed. Home Squared. “Eh, Obama!” A big woman with a scarf on her head strode out of the main house drying her hands on the sides of her flowered skirt. She had a face like Sayid’s, smooth and big-boned, with sparkling, laughing eyes. She hugged Auma and Roy as if she were going to wrestle them to the ground, then turned to me and grabbed my hand in a hearty handshake. “Halo!” she said, attempting English. “Musawa!” I said in Luo. She laughed, saying something to Auma. “She says she has dreamed about this day, when she would finally meet this son of her son. She says you’ve brought her a great happiness. She says that now you have finally come home.” Granny nodded and pulled me into a hug before leading us into the house. Small windows let in little of the afternoon light, and the house was sparsely furnished—a few wooden chairs, a coffee table, a worn couch. On the walls were various family artifacts: the Old Man’s Harvard diploma; photographs of him and of Omar, the uncle who had left for America twenty-five years ago and had never come back. Beside these were two older, yellowing photographs, the first of a tall young woman with smoldering eyes, a plump infant in her lap, a young girl standing beside her; the second of an older man in a high-backed chair. The man was dressed in a starched shirt and a kanga; his legs were crossed like an Englishman’s, but across his lap was what appeared to be some sort of club, its heavy head wrapped in an animal skin. His high cheekbones and narrow eyes gave his face an almost Oriental cast. Auma came up beside me. “That’s him. Our grandfather. The woman in the picture is our other grandmother, Akumu. The girl is Sarah. And the baby … that’s the Old Man.”

• From Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance (1995)

  “Other women?” Amy laughed and winked at Roy. “I tell you honestly, I don’t care about that.” She swung her fleshy arm over Roy’s shoulder. “As long as he treats me well, he can do what he likes. Right, baby?” Roy maintained a poker face, as if the conversation didn’t concern him. Both he and Amy had the sheen of too many beers, and I saw Jane sneak an anxious look at Kezia. I decided to change the subject, and asked Zeituni if she’d been to Garden Square before. “Me?” Zeituni raised her eyebrows at my impertinence. “Let me tell you, Barry—if there is dancing somewhere, then I have been to that place. These people here will tell you that I am the champion dancer. What do you say, Auma?” “Zeituni’s the best.” Zeituni tilted her head proudly. “You see? Really, Barry, your auntie can dance! And you want to know who was always my best partner? Your father! That guy, he really loved to dance. We entered many contests together when we were young. In fact, I’ll tell you this story about his dancing. It was when he had come home to Alego one time to visit with your grandfather. He had promised that evening to do some chore for the old man—I don’t remember what it was—but instead of doing his work, he went out to meet Kezia and take her dancing. You remember, Kezia? This is before they were married. I wanted to go with them, but Barack said I was too young. “Anyway, they came home late that night, and Barack had had a few too many beers. He tried to sneak Kezia into his hut, but the old man was still awake and heard their footsteps in the compound. Even as an old man, your grandfather’s hearing was very keen. So right away he shouts for Barack to come. When Barack comes in, the old man doesn’t say a word. He just looks at Barack and snorts like an angry bull. Hmmmph! Hmmmph! And this whole time, I am peeking through the window of the old man’s house, because I’m sure that the old man will cane Barack and I’m still angry at Barack, for not letting me go to the dance hall. “What happened next, I couldn’t believe. Instead of apologizing for coming home late, Barack walked over to the old man’s phonograph and started to play a record! Then he turned and shouted to Kezia, who was hiding outside. ‘Woman!’ Barack shouted. ‘Come here!’ Right away Kezia came into the house, too frightened to refuse, and Barack took her in his arms and began to dance with her, around and around in the old man’s house, as if he were dancing in a palace ballroom.”

• From Tipping the Velvet (1998)

  He glanced over his shoulder and lowered his voice. ‘Now, don’t let on about it yet, for it ain’t been properly settled. But your pal - Kitty - she’s due to leave the Palace, ain’t she, in a week or so?’ I nodded. ‘Well, she won’t be going - not for a good while, anyway. Uncle has offered her a sparkling new contract, till the New Year - said she was too good to lose to Broadstairs.’ The New Year! That was months away, months and months and weeks and weeks; I saw them all spread out before me, each one full of nights in Kitty’s dressing-room, and good-night kisses, and dreams. I gave a cry, I think; and Tony took a swig of Bass, complacently. Then Alice appeared, demanding to know what it was that must be talked about in whispers, and shrieked over, on the stairs ... ? I didn’t wait for Tony’s answer, I thundered down to the door and into the street, and ran to the station like a hoyden, with my hat flapping about my ears -because I had forgotten, after all, to pin it properly. I had hardly expected Kitty to swagger to Whitstable in her suit and her topper and her lavender gloves; but even so, when she stepped from the train and I saw that she was clad as a girl, and walked like a girl, with her plait fastened to the back of her head and a parasol over her arm, I felt a little pang of disappointment. This swiftly turned, however - as always - to desire, and then to pride, for she looked terribly smart and handsome on that dusty Whitstable platform. She kissed my cheek when I went up to her, and took my arm, and let me lead her from the station to our house, across the sea-front. She said, ‘Well! And this is where you were born, and grew up?’ ‘Oh yes! Look there: that building, beside the church, is our old school. Over there - see that house with the bicycle by the gate? - that’s where my cousins live. Here, look, on this step, I once fell down and cut my chin, and my sister held her handkerchief to it, the whole way home ...’ So I talked and pointed, and Kitty nodded, biting her lip. ‘How lucky you are!’ she said at last; and as she said it, she seemed to sigh. I had feared that the afternoon would be dismal and hard; in fact, it was merry. Kitty shook hands with everyone, and had a word for them all, such as, ‘You must be Davy, who works in the smack’, and ‘You must be Alice, who Nancy talks about so often, and is so proud of.

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  (81026 ש' || rei; all‏ ב poy), 67° g0g25(c.‏ ,שָמח||) +M¥B, 22), 13291457,‏ ; הריע ||)*98 ; על ||%*49 1 of theme 51° 507 (|| TW);‏ .6.800 ;132% רנן )3237 g5} (|| YD),‏ לי'.6 ;89% 63° 20° rei‏ ב ;337 בי" Ch 16‏ 1 = )128 ||( 96% (מ)לפני AS78848,‏ subj. ONY 7x (|| WY. Pu.‏ ;*98 ץי ,)729 ||( Is 167" no ringing‏ א 37{ Impf. 3 ms. impers.‏ ery shall be given (|| ¥}7). Hiph. Jmpy.‏ cause to ring out for joy, 1 ₪. {8 A228 3?‏ Imv.‏ ;65° ץ מוּצְאִי בקר Jb 29"; 2 ms. 13 AW)‏ ,שמח ||( "32 ץי ring out a cry of joy‏ הרנינוּ mpl,‏ ace. of theme, 502 Dt‏ .6 ; (הריע ||( ?81 לי" ,(גיל .רון (v. Dr; ef. Pi.)—Hithpol. y 78° ef.‏ 32% 1 רן]‎ [ n.[m.] ringing cry; pl. estr. pba ש‎ 32". 1 TTI n.f. ר'--;.36‎ abs,, of joy 2 ¥ 100" (|| AMW); pl. i277 ns 63°; exultation, sg. 0%. רְשָעִים‎ NIN Tb 20° (|| (ְשָמַחָה‎ TE רנה‎ n.f. ringing ery ר'.408---;‎ Je7*+; 85 'ךְש רְנָּתִי‎ + , O17) Jer4"°+4;—ringing cry: 1. in entreaty, supplication, to”, 1 K 8°=2Ch 68, Jez 11 17) 617 883 (all+ (ְתִפַּלָה‎ 106% 119142’ 16147. 2. in proclamation 1K 22% 3. in joy, esp. praise to *, שמַחָה-ך‎ Is 35" sr" (4188); + AOR 2 Ch 20%, ששו‎ 105%, + תּרָה‎ 107”, + yoy Prix; || pny ץ‎ 126°; opp. 123, ete. 30° 126°, ef. v8; קול ר'‎ Ts 48% (ישוּעָה +( 118% 477 ,(ידָה + )*42 ץ‎ ; NSB of ’s joy over Zion‏ 585 547 497 44% 14 18 ר' Zp 3% ;—OAN NINA Is 43" in the ships of their‏ ringing cry, in which they exulted, but dub.;‏ Hi Ew M1382 (bring down) into mourning their‏ ef. Kit-Di Du Che*™* Marti.‏ ; ר' ju. רנה‎ n.pr.m. in Judah 1 Ch 4”; Ava, A Pavvov, GL Pevva. Ton n.[m.] pl. bird of piercing cries, i.e. ostrich, acc. to B Bo Di and most, 423 Jb 39", but read prob. יְעָנִים‎ Hoffm Bu Du (as La 4° Qr), +. [ע]]‎ TAD} n.pr.loc. station in wilderness, Nu 33°"; Acoaa, A Peooa, GL Apeooa. ] רק‎ (Vof following; ef. Ar. 32) (Fri™*)= רֶסֶן‎ ; TSI (rare), ef. Dalm™’). +E גונ. גב רסָן‎ ,** 5: 1. halter; 2. jaw(?);— 1. ר' .פה‎ y 32° restraining mouth of horse or ass (+309); fig. of 9 OY, DNDY "ND-PY 9 Ts 30%; aby 22D Jb 30", 1.6. threw off restraint. רסן 2. 6 רְסֶני‎ DDD 41° the double of his jaw, his double jaws (of croc.), si vera 1.; connexion of mngs. strange, || לבוּשו‎ ‘22, whence GHB Wright Du conj. 13°70. n.pr.loc. in Assyria, near Nineveh‏ רסן דד Gnro”; 300 (prob.=rés éni, head of spring ;‏ ef. D1?2 261 COT & 10, my:‏ +1. [DD] vb. moisten (so Aram. DD), 45 Ar. (לש‎ (U3!) sprinkle); —Qal Inf. estr. MobITMS DAD jy Ez 46% <<

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  רמש WA 53 all with which the ground‏ ת' הָאַדָמָה creeps (teems), i.e. all creeping things, Ly 20°‏ (H), Gn 9? (P). 2. elsewhere subj. animal :‏ a. creep, MOINT-Y Dt 4 Gn 73(P), PINT OY‏ Ly x1 (H), 3 +" (P); EIST OY BEAD BH!‏ Gn 1748" (all P). b. move‏ עלדְהַאֶרֶץ ,”38 Ez‏ lightly, glide about, of water animals, viarba‏ m9 Ly 11° (H), Gn x (P), ef.‏ הֶרמָשֶת (בַּמִיִם) c. in gen. move about, of all land-‏ ."69 animals, pinoy Gn 1% 77! 8" (all P); specif.‏ of wild beasts prowling at night ~ 104”.‏ Tom n.m. ***°° ₪011. creeping things,‏ moving things ;- abs. 1K 59+, estr. Ho‏ creeping things (disting. from M272,‏ -1---; + 2% NEY; 17) Ho2” 1K 5 Ez 8" 38”‏ ,עוף mn,‏ Gn y74-29.26 67-0 Gea giz-19 (all Py Hb y4 (in sim.)‏ y 148". 2. of sea animals, gliding things,‏ moving things, of all animals‏ .3 .”104 ץש Gn 9° (P).—Cf. Dr DB CREEPING THINGS |‏ m9, 1}, NT +. רום‎ ely Jy ae רנה‎ +. jr. TTI] vb. rattle (onomatop.?) ;—Qal Impf. 3 fs. 1390 15 39% the quiver ratéleth. T j27) vb. give aringing cry (onomatop. 1 ef. Ar. (ery aloud, also twang (of bowstring); NH Pi. murmur, complain, cf. JAram. (not X));—Qal Impf. 3 ms. יָרון‎ ))108'7%( Pr 29° (but rd. perhaps 7, Pinsk Toy, v. 7 2); 3 fs. JA Is 35°; 3 mpl. BY 244+, ויר‎ Ly 9%; 3 fpl. תֶּנָּה‎ Pr1” 8%; mv. fs.°37 Is 541+, 29 125° mpl. רכ‎ Je 317+; Inf. estr. 13 Jhb 38’; — give a ringing ery : 1. in joy, exultation, || bays 7 (pw (ר'‎ , Is 12° 24" )|| קול‎ NY), 54? (+738 732); || הריע‎ Zp 3% (+ ,(עלז ,שמח‎ Is 44° Ib 387; שַמחןן‎ 26 2% Wy 35” Pr 29°(v. supr.); || bay Is 49% (+737 O°), || צוח‎ 42"; opp.PY¥ (cryin distress) 65" (1 of cause); Ly 9* Is 35° (subj. ---.(לשון‎ Is 617 is corrupt; read perh. ורק‎ and spitting, Klo Che 2". 2. in distress, La2™. 3. ery aloud, in summons, exhortation (of wisdom) Pr + )|| קול‎ 103), 8°. Pi. Pf 3 pl. consec. 1237) Je 31" 518; Impf. 3 fs. 2A 51", 3 mpl. VID 8454, 23 5°+; 3 fpl. masa 71 (van d. H. MIM), ete.; Jmv. mpl. 1337 Is 52°+; Inf. abs. 122 132", estr. id. Is 35°;—give a ringing cry, in joy, exultation, esp. in praise to %, Je 31” '51* Is 26" 35? (+n, v. לה‎ 52° 6 קול‎ NY), (פֶּצח + )יצ‎ ; elsewh. only ץ :ץש‎ 5" 943, רסן

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  skip, dance; Ar. 33, 1x. run with leaps and bounds, 5 leaping up briskly) ;—Qal skip about, Pf. 3 mpl. 1121 y114* (of mts., (כַּאִילִים‎ ; Impf. 2 mpl. 77 יצ‎ (id.; both of Sinai quak- ing at law-giving); Inf.cstr. WP7 NY Ec 3‘ a time to mourn (75D), and a time to skip about (gaily). Pi. dance, leap: Impf. 3 mpl. 1777) Is 13” (of (שָעִירִים‎ ; MPD Ib 21" (of children; merrily), Jo2° (of locusts) Pt. W2) 1Chi5” 1 David; -= רב‎ , NBD, in || 26"); fs, TIP Na z?(of jolting ו‎ in 2 5 6"* ins. BIN L will dance, after "25, 6 ThWe DrBuHPS (1229). Hiph. /mpf. 3 ms. sf. וירקידם‎ w 20" he (*) made them skip like calves (trees, by lightning). רקון = .רקק .1 .+ רקה‎ +. 11. pps. i [רקח]‎ vb. mix, or compound oil, oint- ment (perh. denom.; in this case / meaning unknown; NH has מרְקחת‎ ointment; Ph. רקח‎ either spice-mixer (Bloch) or spice-dealer (Lizb) ; perh. akin to As. rikku, spice, Meissn**"?"®, ef. rikké, Oa) B me ee 3 ms, ירקח‎ Ex 30%; רקה‎ y=, i737" Hero} tee estr. ‘np4 id 97% ;— mia, 7 א‎ so (P; mp3, i ene like the holy oil); pt. as subst. a as a ל‎ name, mixer, perfumer, Ex 3075 37° 20 10 Pu. Pt. mpl. O29 2 Ch 164 mixed as ointment. Hiph. Inf. abs. הרְקת‎ הַמַרְקְחָה‎ Ez 247° (|| ONT), as Imv., spice the spic- ing (1), i.e. spice (the meat) ו‎ but very dub., Krae prop. P1159 PIN empty out the broth. n.[m.] spice ;—'17 J" Ct 8? wine,‏ רקח1 (that is) spice (i.e. spiced ney‏ n. [m. [ spice-mixture, perfume ;—‏ רקחז Ex 30”; of‏ ר' מַרְקְחַת מעשה of holy oil, np‏ Incense, npin nyyro >) 35,‏ 955 [רקב]‎ vb. rot (NH id.; Aram. רקב‎ in | רקע ointment-maker, per-‏ .גג .גב [רקח] ך Ne 3°, 1.e. one‏ בְִּהֶרַקחִים fumer ;—only in phr.‏ of the perfumers, i.e. of that guild, | =‏ n.f. (female) ointment-maker,‏ [רקהַה]1 .(אפות ninay,‏ +4( "8 ₪ 1 רקחוּת perfumer ;—pl.‏ 1 [maz .מ |. גג ג [רק‎ [ perfumery ;—pl. sf. רקח‎ Is 57° thy perfumeries, unguents. t [מרקח]‎ n.{m.| spice, perfume (of cheeks); pl. DYIPID Ct 5" (v. also 2739 8). n.f. 1. ointment-pot, in which‏ מרקחַהז ointment is compounded, Jb 41” (fig.). 2.‏ spice-seasoning (1); as acc. cogn. v. Y Hiph.‏ tnnpya n.f. 1. ointment-mixture. 2. ointment-pot (2);—1. abs. 97 ‘N79 1 Ch 0": רקח כ‎ Ex 30”. 2. ‘Da 2Ch 16" in an ointment-pot (?), or as an ointment-mixture.

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  T Lz] n.{m.] kind, sort (3 Syr. ; ef. BH) ;— pl. estr. זָנִי זְמְרָא‎ Dn 3°71, T py vb. ery, call (= Syr.; ef. BH) ;—Pe. Pf. 3 ms.’t Dn 6” (3 of voice). Eg.‏ ;זער/. Syr., be small; BH WY‏ =( זער זערא Palm.‏ ,זעירא Cooke", Nab.‏ זער Aram.‏ SAC*).‏ 120% adj. little, small ;—fs. ATV WP‏ [דַעִיר]+ Dn 7°.‏ vb. raise, lift up (= Syr.; ef. BH‏ [זק ףזז pH‏ יִתַמְחָא (late ; rare));—Pe. Pt. pass. ‘aby‏ Ezr 6" and, lifted up, he be fastened upon it‏ (sc. the timber erected ; ref. prob. to impale- ment, v. Ryle Berthol). thas n.pr.m. (BH id.);—Ezr 5°. זרעז‎ n.[m.] seed (cf. BH I. (זרע‎ :—estr. ז' אַנְשָא‎ Dn 2* seed (offspring) of men. = +ban] vb. Pa. destroy, hurt (v. BH 11. ban) ;—Pf. 3 mpl. sf. "3935 Dn 6 (of lions); Imv. mpl. sf. ‘ban 4°° (sf. of tree); Inf. npand Ezr6"(acc. oftemple). Hithpa. be destroyed: Impf. 3 fs. 22000 89 Dn 2* 67 74 (53-; all of kingdom of God). 4A2 ban tan .גג .גנ‎ ""%* hurt, injury ;—abs. ’n Dn 3 6%, cf, RES** 42; emph. span Ezr 4”. trbaan n.f. hurtful act, crime ;—abs. ח'‎ Dn 6%. n.m. fellow, comrade (& Syr.;‏ [חבר]1 vy. BH) ;—pl. sf. 730 Dn 2"‏ 1 [7720] 2. fellow;—pl. sf. 90930 Dn 7* its fellows (in vision of horns). Tan n.pr.m. prophet (BH 7d.) ;—Ezr 5'6™. ma Vv. ant.‏ מה ian n.f. joy (3 Syr.; v. BH (חדה.11‎ ;— abs. m3 Ezr 6 with joy: than, or (K5*5®) 479] nim. breast 6% Syr.; v. BH II. a (Schulth Ay" tee: 164) igh Sa wn ae ה --;(חדש adj. new (% Syr.; BH‏ חַדַת ז Ezr 6°.‏ TT (of following; ¥ FA, SM, riddle, y. BH and Kew ay: אחִידֶן n.£ riddie;—fpl. abs.‏ [אַחִידְַה]1 Dn Rue‏ TOW] vb. Pa. Haph. (M‘®°) declare (= Syr.; BH 111. [77] (late));—Pa. 6. ace. N1WB (or equiv.): Impf. 3 ms. sf. י חוני‎ (sf. pers. indir. obj.) Dn 5’, 7310). 2" OF pers.); 1 ₪. MIMS 2 ל)‎ pers.), ל[ ד‎ mn) .יצ‎ 188. usu. 6. ace. NW (or sus ): Impf. 3 ms. 07% Dn 53 2 mpl. ההחון‎ 2°, sf. (of indir. obj.) ‘winoA ל‎ I a כָהַחְוָה‎ + ; Imv. mpl. sf. (of indir, obj. מחוני ו‎ ; להחַיָה וז‎ Wi? לי‎ dae PETS. 2 of ‘signs and wonders 3”. n.f.adeclaring (prop. Inf.Aph.,‏ [אחויה]1 K5®»):_estr. [TN NAS Dn 5° the declaring‏ Bev).‏ ,415 ד גה 35 of riddles (ef. TINT‏ T עס חוטן‎ Ort] vb. repair (foundations); —Haph. /mpf. 3 mpl. יחיטו‎ Ezr 4” (si vera 1. [No GGA, 1854, 1018 Str als rare form for pon K $9165. 261 Nf $6Se,Anm- byt perh. read this, and regard as Qal |. meaning dub.; Ar. bié is sew, = חום‎ , Syr. Ka, cf. BH ה חוּט‎ Syr. Pa. also join fagether 0 here Schulth74W **# 90), 10 Anm.) cf Ar. b <> conjunxit trabes (de Goeje

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  vb. gleam, smile (Aree 43)—only‏ ]3 לגד Pans Impf. 1 s. 6. ( subord. nya 30 97 + ; Pt. מבליב‎ Am 5°;—1. shew a smile, look ae y 39"! Jbg”%10”. 2. cause to burst or flash המב' שר עלהען‎ Am 5° (cf. Ew St). imaba n.pr.m. (cheerfulness)—1. priest of 15th course (David's time)1Ch24™. 2. priest that went up with Zerubbabel Ne r2°"*. T sb n.pr.m. (éd.) priest with Neh. Ne 10°. n.f. smiling, cheerfulness,‏ ַבְלִיגִית]1 NDI Jes‏ עָלִי source of brightening — fi‏ a source of brightening to me in sorrow; but 4 dub. cf. VB Che. בלדד ו n.pr.m. (G Baddad;‏ בקדדז Bel has loved, cf. TADS 3 Dies os eon.‏ euneif. Bir-Dadda, 01. Hpt"™'**™) 2nd friend‏ Jb 2" 81 18! 25) 42°.‏ ב' MWA‏ (השחי) of Job‏ tba n.pr.loc. in Simeon Jos 19°. vb. become old and worn out‏ | הזז (Av. (5, Aram. *3, 11 , Eth. MAG: id.)—Qal‏ Pf, N23 Dt 85 323 20+ ; Impf. 193 Jb 13‏ Inf. 6. sf. 22 Gu18”;—wear, out (intr.),‏ ;.660 pregn.‏ מַעַל .6 esp. of garments Dt 8* 29**, all‏ wear out (and fall) from upon...(hence Ne 9”), Josg™; fig. of the heavens (with sim. of gar- ment) Is 50° yy 1027 2 1333, the earth Is 51° nban 7323; the bones (through suffering) ו‎ 32°; afflicted man Jb ב‎ M3) IRI NM! )[ 72 wy iDDN); of an aged and decrepit woman Gn18” (J) בְלְתִי‎ “INS after [am worn out. Pi. caus. of Qal. a. wear out (trans.), fig. 1 בְשָרִי יב‎ nba “Wi, ~ 49” and their form שאל‎ nipad is for She’61 to consume away (others rd. nivap is for wasting away | Dr], connecting "₪ with foll.), 1 Ch 17° לבלתו‎ to wear it (Isr.) out (altered fr. לענותו‎ 287”), cf. Dn 7” Aram. b. wear out by use, use to, the full, Is65” and the work of their hands 2) they shall use to the full, enjoy, Jb 21™ they wear out their days in prosperity (Qr here ילו‎ complete, which perh. is the true reading in both passages; 61. Ex5* Jb 36").— On תי‎ 92", v. sub oda, t [nba] adj. worn out; f. nba Ez 23% (of a woman, cf. Gn 18” supr.); pl. oda Jos 94 (sacks), v* (wine-skins), nipa יש‎ (sandals), v° (garments). n.[m.| worn out things, rags‏ [בלוּא]1 (Syr. KASS id.) pl. estr. nda Je 38", ‘103 7‏ n.f. destruction: 6. sf. Is 10”‏ [תבלית]+ and mine anger for their de-‏ וְאפי omdan-by‏ struction.‏ ba adv. not (Ph. 7d.: e.g. CIS בל יכן‎ לכהן‎ shall not be for the priest;, ** =בל עתי‎ before my time) a poet. syn. of לא‎ of compara- tively rare occurrence, Ho 7? 9° (Qr) Is 14” 35° "כ‎ Pr 9’ wae 19” 227 "כל‎ 25 I Ch 16° (= 96"), only besides, except in the pas- sages cited, in other Psalms: often repeated in the same context, as Is 2.6 10-10-11.14.14.18.18 20.20.21. 23.23.24 ד ו‎ 8 Tyee oe sess

• From Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance (1995)

  “And it made no sense to me, this singing! Why were they thanking Him for all of their troubles? I’d ask myself. But see, I was only looking at the horizontal dimension of their lives!” “Tell it now!” “I didn’t understand that they were talking about the vertical dimension! About their relationship to God! I didn’t understand that they were thanking Him in advance for all that they dared to hope for in me! Oh, I thank you, Jesus, for not letting go of me when I let go of you! Oh yes, Jesus, I thank you ….” As the choir lifted back up into song, as the congregation began to applaud those who were walking to the altar to accept Reverend Wright’s call, I felt a light touch on the top of my hand. I looked down to see the older of the two boys sitting beside me, his face slightly apprehensive as he handed me a pocket tissue. Beside him, his mother glanced at me with a faint smile before turning back toward the altar. It was only as I thanked the boy that I felt the tears running down my cheeks. “Oh, Jesus,” I heard the older woman beside me whisper softly. “Thank you for carrying us this far.” [image file=image_rsrc2W5.jpg] CHAPTER FIFTEEN [image file=image_rsrc2W2.jpg] I FLEW OUT OF HEATHROW Airport under stormy skies. A group of young British men dressed in ill-fitting blazers filled the back of the plane, and one of them—a pale, gangly youth, still troubled with acne—took the seat beside me. He read over the emergency instructions twice with great concentration, and once we were airborne, he turned to ask where I was headed. I told him I was traveling to Nairobi to visit my family. “Nairobi’s a beautiful place, I hear. Wouldn’t mind stopping off there one of these days. Going to Johannesburg, I am.” He explained that as part of a degree program in geology, the British government had arranged for him and his classmates to work with South African mining companies for a year. “Seems like they have a shortage of trained people there, so if we’re lucky they’ll take us on for a permanent spot. Best chance we have for a decent wage, I reckon—unless you’re willing to freeze out on some bleeding North Sea oil rig. Not for me, thank you.” I mentioned that if given the chance, a lot of black South Africans might be interested in getting such training. “Well, I’d imagine you’re right about that,” he said. “Don’t much agree with the race policy there. A shame, that.” He thought for a moment. “But then the rest of Africa’s falling apart now, isn’t it? Least from what I can tell. The blacks in South Africa aren’t starving to death like they do in some of these Godforsaken countries. Don’t envy them, mind you, but compared to some poor bugger in Ethiopia—”

• From Generation Anxiety: A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Staying Afloat in an Uncertain World (2023)

  That people want the best for you? It goes both ways. When you are brave enough to lean into loving others, the world will open up to you in a whole new way. You will find community with people who challenge you, comfort you, and encourage you. In a time when we feel more alone than ever, we need that collective healing where we show that we care about more than ourselves. Giving back is one of the best ways to experience more joy in your life. In fact, one study found that 93 percent of people who volunteered over the past year felt happier as a result. That’s not all. Eighty-nine percent had an expanded worldview, 88 percent had increased self-esteem, 85 percent developed friendships through volunteering, 79 percent had less stress, 78 percent felt greater control over their health and well-being, and 75 percent felt physically healthier. 199 It feels good to be a part of something that’s bigger than yourself. In all the times that I’ve volunteered, I’ve never heard someone say, “Well, that was a waste of time.” Not once. I know you probably have plenty of things to do, but if there’s something to put on your self-care plate, it’s service to others— especially with a cause that you care about. Your lack of anxiety will thank you for it. Because you are 42 percent more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down, I’d love for you to jot down first what you care about, and second, what you can do about it. 200 How can you put this into action in the coming year? WHAT ARE SOME CAUSES THAT YOU CARE ABOUT? IF YOU’RE STUMPED, WHAT’S SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU UPSET OR YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT THE WORLD? HOW CAN YOU PUT THIS INTO ACTION? WHAT ORGANIZATION(S) COULD YOU SUPPORT OR HOW COULD YOU SERVE THIS CAUSE? MY HOPE FOR THE GENERATIONS TO COME As I get ready to take my own action by raising a little human this year (whom I can’t wait to meet!), I’m struck by what I hope lies ahead for this next generation. I’m fully aware of all the anxiety we’ve inherited and how easy it would be to pass it right along to those coming after us. I don’t think any kid needs much of an education to see how hard the human experience can be. After all, no one chooses to be born, and yet we have to carry the load each day.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  "Let others," says Ambrose, "heap up silver and gold; we gather the nails wherewith the martyrs were pierced, and their victorious blood, and the wood of their cross."897 He himself relates at large, in a letter to his sister, the miraculous discovery of the bones of the twin brothers Gervasius and Protasius, two otherwise wholly unknown and long-forgotten martyrs of the persecution under Nero or Domitian.898 This is one of the most notorious relic miracles of the early church. It is attested by the most weighty authorities, by Ambrose and his younger contemporaries, his secretary and biographer Paulinus, the bishop Paulinus of Nola, and Augustine, who was then in Milan; it decided the victory of the Nicene orthodoxy over the Arian opposition of the empress Justina; yet is it very difficult to be believed, and seems at least in part to rest on pious frauds.899 The story is, that when Ambrose, in 386, wished to consecrate the basilica at Milan, he was led by a higher intimation in a vision to cause the ground before the doors of Sts. Felix and Nahor to be dug up, and there he found two corpses of uncommon size, the heads severed from the bodies (for they died by the sword), the bones perfectly preserved, together with a great quantity of fresh blood.900 These were the saints in question. They were exposed for two days to the wondering multitude, then borne in solemn procession to the basilica of Ambrose, performing on the way the healing of a blind man, Severus by name, a butcher by trade, and afterward sexton of this church. This, however, was not the only miracle which the bones performed. "The age of miracles returned," says Ambrose. "How many pieces of linen, how many portions of dress, were cast upon the holy relics and were recovered with the power of healing from that touch.901 It is a source of joy to all to touch but the extremest portion of the linen that covers them; and whoso touches is healed. We give thee thanks, O Lord Jesus, that thou hast stirred up the energies of the holy martyrs at this time, wherein thy church has need of stronger defence. Let all learn what combatants I seek, who are able to contend for us, but who do not assail us, who minister good to all, harm to none." In his homily De inventione SS. Gervasii et Protasii, he vindicates the miracle of the healing of the blind man against the doubts of the Arians, and speaks of it as a universally acknowledged and undeniable fact: The healed man, Severus, is well known, and publicly testifies that he received his sight by the contact of the covering of the holy relics.

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  ראה “sich vertiefen in’): )1( gaze at 186" (on context vy. We Dr HPS), so as to become acquainted with Gn 34'(P); so as to find out Ec 3”; inspect liver (for omens) Ez 21"; some- what weakened = behold Jb 3° 2 Ch7* ש‎ (2) look at with kindness, helpfulness, of ’, “YD Gn 29” 18 17 (+ inf. abs.), 2 ₪ 16%, 182 y 106%. (3) upon a spectacle causing anger Ex 2"(E), grief Gn 21° (E), 44% Nurz® (both J), 2% 227) (subj. 22m) —2iCh 244) igh or abhorrence 1866". (4) gaze at with appre- hension Ec11*. (5) with joy, pleasure, 2 K 10° Mi 7° Je 29” Is 528 (MW2 ,עין‎ cf. Niph. Nu 14"), Jb 20” 337 7 00" 125° 6 3 0 Ke 2'. (6) esp. with exultation, triumph = jeast eyes upon, sts. gloat over (fallen enemies), Ju 167 Miz” Ez 28" Ob? vy 22% דד‎ bc: bs pers. Is 177 (subj. עינים‎ ; || by myy); על‎ pers. Ex5” (J); NANT OY ליד אמ ר'‎ v. [tak] and Comm., also Spiegelb 28 יוצ‎ 119090986 6. ,ל‎ aab$ יָר'‎ may ז הָאָדֶם 1 לְעִינִיִם‎ 8 167, 1D ו 0 - .64% רְאָהלְמו‎ is DIND כְתוּר‎ NN 1 Ch 17” (and || BINT תורת‎ NNN 2 ₪ 7%), read וַתִרְאָנִי‎ (with other changes)We Dr Kau BuHPS Now; Ez12™ read prob. Niph. & Hi Co Krae ; Mi 6° read prob. 787! cf. NowGASm. WNiph. Pf. 3 ms. 1813 Gn 48°+, etc.; Jmpf. 3 ms. 18)? Gn22"+4, juss. ST Ex3 43 Lvg®, S11 מצ)‎ 1 27+ ; 1s, SUN) Ex 6°, 660.; 276. ms. IN x K 187; Inf. estr. להרְאות‎ 1S17%4, לראות‎ Isr? 4 2 t., הַרְאה‎ Ju 132 ד‎ ₪ 3%, etc.;—1. appear, esp. a. of י'‎ (God): 6. אל‎ pers. בא)‎ 1277 + 6 +. 0, Gn 351 (E), v? 483 Ex 63 שרי)‎ DNA, ב‎ essent.), Ly 1 P),. 1 K3* 977 = 2 Chg? Ror rr ite: ל‎ pers. Je 31° 2 Chi’ 3! (ins. * © Kau Kit); abs. Gn 22% in the mt. where י"‎ appeareth (prob., Di Sta%* 450 J); Hast. DB ii. 17 E); Nua ד‎ (JE; nya Py, v. Is 52° Qal 8 a(5)), א1‎ 16°(P; ב‎ loc. + >¥), 18 3 ב)‎ loc.), 28227 (MET OY; <8" || y

• From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament (BDB) (1907)

  Tiga n.pr.f. (perfume !)—1. Hittite woman, a wife of Esau Gn 26* (P); called daughter of Ishmael, and sister of Nebaioth Gn 36% (but due prob. to R; this daughter of Ishmael is מחלת‎ in 28° P); .ץ‎ also 364°" (all P) (Sam. has מחלת‎ throughout Gn 36). 2. daughter of Solomon, wife of Ahimaaz 1 K 4”. Toba n.pr.m. a descendant of Issachar ל‎ Towa n.pr.m. 1. son of Ishmael Gn aS == ג ד‎ 1%. 2. a descendant of Simeon ד‎ vb. bear tidings )/ rub, smooth‏ [בשר] ך the face; cf. Ar. +23 remove the face or surface of‏ 5-ל 25402 a thing, cf. Ar. 723 be glad, joyful;‏ he rejoiced him with the message of the birth of‏ a son; Eth. 006: bring a joyful message, so‏ DHM™,‏ תבשר As. bussuru (Pa.) 101775, Sab.‏ n.pr.dei, +; 13111] 2965 CIS‏ בשר also‏ 2t.; Impf. Win‏ + 20% 16 בְּשרץ aves at *)— Pi.‏ 4t.; TWIN 2818"; Imv. NW 1 Ch‏ + 818% 2 מָבַשַר.% 3r°+2t.;‏ 8 ז ?82" 16°=y 96°; Inf.‏ מִבַשָרוּת Is 40°; pl.‏ מְבַשָרֶת .1 ;₪ 6+ *ז4 Is‏ gladden with good tidings: birth‏ .1- - :685 ש of a son Je 20”; victory 1S 31° 281% 1 Ch‏ he was in his eyes‏ היה כמבשר בעיניו ;"68 ץ 10° as a bearer of good tidings 28 4™. 2. bear‏ tidings 2 ₪ 189995: even of evil 18 4”, and‏ K 1®. 3. herald as‏ 1 בשר טוב so with ace.‏ glad tidings: the salvation of God, preach‏ (chiefly exilic usage) the advent of ” in salva-‏ tion Na2’ Is 40"% 417 527"; the praises of‏ Yahweh 60°; His righteousness in the great‏ congregation y 40”; His salvation daily 96?‏ =1Ch 169: the Messianic servant preaches‏ good tidings to the meek 1861'. Hithp. Jmpf.‏ WBN 2/8 18% receive good tidings (so Kirkp.‏ Klo; cf. Ar. 3 Iv. X; otherwise AV).‏ VP Doce BM. flesh (cf. 5 skin, Syr. 5 2 As. bi8ru, blood-relation, D‏ ,כבבב[ flesh of bulls) —Gn 2%‏ בשר תורם Sab.‏ 516 .66 בּשָרִי Gn17"+ 40 6.; sf.‏ בְּשַר .03 ;6 126 + 1% Stud. i. 143, 142 mw.

• From Tipping the Velvet (1998)

  There was no one in that house, it seemed, who had not some link with the profession. Even plain little Minnie - the eighth member of our party, the girl who had brought us tea on our arrival and had returned now to help Mrs Dendy dish and serve and clear the plates - even she belonged to a ballet troupe, and had a contract at a concert hall in Lambeth. Why, even the dog, Bransby, which soon nosed its way into the parlour to beg for scraps, and to lean his slavering jaw against Professor Emery’s knee - even he was an old artiste, and had once toured the South Coast in a dancing dog act, and had a stage name: ‘Archie’.It was a Sunday night, and nobody had a hall to rush to after supper; no one seemed to have anything to do, indeed, except sit and smoke and gossip. At seven o‘clock there was a knock upon the door, and a girl came halloo-ing her way into the house with a dress of tulle and satin and a gilt tiara: she was a friend of Tootsie’s from the ballet at the Pav come to ask Mrs Dendy’s opinion of her costume. While the frock was spread out on the parlour rug, the supper-things were carried off; and when the table was cleared the Professor sat at it and spread a deck of cards. Percy joined him, whistling; his tune was taken up by Sims, who raised the lid of Mrs Dendy’s piano and began to strike the melody out on that. The piano was a terrible one - ‘Damn this cheesy old thing!’ cried Sims as he hit at it. ‘You could play Wagner on it, and I swear it would come out sounding like a sea-shanty or a jig!’ - but the tune was gay and it made Kitty smile.‘I know this,’ she said to me; and since she knew it she couldn’t help but sing it, and had soon stepped over the sparkling frock upon the floor to lift her voice for the chorus at Sims’s side.I sat on the sofa with Bransby, and wrote a postcard to my family. ‘I am in the queerest-looking parlour you ever saw,’ I wrote, ‘and everybody is extremely kind. There is a dog here with a stage-name!

• From Tipping the Velvet (1998)

  I am the Queen of Carefulness. I shall go on being careful for ever, if you like - so long as I might be a bit reckless, sometimes, when we are quite alone.’Her smile, when she gave it, was a little distracted. ‘After all,’ she said, ‘things have not changed, so very much.’But I knew that everything had changed - everything. At length I rose too, and washed and dressed and used the chamber-pot, while Kitty went downstairs. She came back with a tray of tea and toast - ‘I could hardly look Ma Dendy in the eye!’ she said, all shy and red again - and we had our breakfast in our own parlour, before the fire, kissing the crumbs and butter from one another’s lips.There was a hamper of suits beneath the window, that we had had sent over from a costumier’s and not yet properly examined; and now, as we waited for Walter, Kitty began rather idly to sort through it. She pulled out a black tail-coat, very fine. ‘Look at this!’ she said. She slipped it on over her dress, and did a stiff little dance; then she began, very lightly, to sing.‘In a house, in a square, in a quadrant,’ she sang, ‘In a street, in a lane, in a road; Turn to the left, on the right hand, You see there my true love’s abode.’I smiled. This was an old song of George Leybourne’s: everyone had used to whistle it in the ’seventies, and I had even once seen it sung by Leybourne himself, at the Canterbury Palace. It was a silly, nonsensical, but rather infectious kind of song, and Kitty sang it all the sweeter for singing it so softly and carelessly.‘I go there a courting and cooing, To my love, like a dove. And swearing on my bended knee, If ever I cease to love, May sheep’s heads grow on apple trees, If ever I cease to love.’I listened for a while, then raised my voice with hers for the chorus:‘If ever I cease to love, If ever I cease to love, May the moon be turned into green cheese, If ever I cease to love.’We laughed, then sang louder. I found a hat in the hamper, and tossed it to Kitty, then pulled out a jacket and a boater for myself, and a walking-cane. I linked my arm with hers, and imitated her dance. The song grew sillier.‘For all the money that’s in the bank, For the title of lord or duke, I wouldn’t exchange the girl I love, There’s bliss in every look.

• From Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Cycle of Anxious Thoughts (2020)

  Whatever God says to do, we do. That’s what Paul knew: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.”15 Scripture is clear that Jesus “came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”16 And there is no greater demonstration of this truth than Jesus humbling Himself, leaving heaven to come to earth in the form of a vulnerable baby, suffering unjust accusations, and enduring death on a Roman cross. The race that was set before Jesus involved emptying Himself, taking on the past and present and future sin of all humankind, and spending three days in a tomb. And yet. You remember what Hebrews 12 makes clear: He did all these things, never once losing touch with joy. “For the joy set before him,” says verse 2, “he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (NIV ). Jesus knew that His race centered on a mission that was big. He knew that His race would take Him right to the cross. But here is something else He knew: fulfilling the mission God had asked Him to fulfill was the best possible use of His life, so He chose it. “For the joy set before him.” That joy is real, and it is coming for us too. We have a future and a hope in Christ. We are set free to serve so our lives will point all people to the joy we have now and the joy that is to come . I can’t think of a better way to live. [image "Part Three: Thinking as Jesus Thinks" file=Image00052.jpg] 15 Who Do You Think You Are? My oldest kid went to college this year, and as any dedicated mother would, I tried to cram every last lesson into his precious mind in the final weeks before he moved out. Here is the essence of my final speech, delivered to Conner there in the front seat of my car: “Son, you are light. I know this because I have seen God in you. I have seen you go from a selfish punk kid to a young man who responds to conviction, a young man who hears from and responds to God. You love people. You put others’ interests ahead of your own.

• From H Is for Hawk (2014)

  The American writer and ecologist Aldo Leopold once wrote that falconry was a balancing act between wild and tame – not just in the hawk, but inside the heart and mind of the falconer. That is why he considered it the perfect hobby. I am starting to see the balance is righting, now, and the distance between Mabel and me increasing. I see, too, that her world and my world are not the same, and some part of me is amazed that I ever thought they were. Then I find myself doing something surprising. I raise Mabel’s weight even more and let her range more widely when she flies. This is terrible falconry. ‘Never let a goshawk self-hunt,’ say the books. ‘Such independence is the fastest way to lose your hawk.’ I know I shouldn’t slip her unless there’s quarry, right there, in front of her. But how can I resist this method of hawking? Today I walked up to the crest of a hill on a freezing, smoky afternoon, the whole Cambridgeshire countryside laid out in front in woods and fields and copses beneath us, all bosky and bright with golden sunshine, and I can see that what Mabel wants to do is launch a prospecting attack on the hedgerow over the rise. I let her go. Her tactical sense is magnificent. She drops from the fist, and sets off, no higher than a hand’s width above the ground, using every inch of the undulating relief as cover, gathering speed until the frosty stubble winks and flashes under her, and she curves over the top of the hill. Then she sets her wings and glides, using gravity and momentum to race downhill, flash up over the top of the hedge in a sudden flowering of cream and white, a good hundred yards away, and then continue down the hedge’s far side, invisible to me. I’m running, all this time, my feet caked with mud, feeling earthbound but transported at the same time. I find her in the hedge bottom, holding onto a rabbit. ‘Mabel,’ I say, ‘you are behaving like a wild hawk. Shocking.’ This is nerve-racking falconry, but a wonderful thing. I am testing the lines between us that the old falconers would have called love. They have not broken; they do not look likely to break. Maybe they will. I raise her weight even more, and slowly the world widens. But I’m pushing my luck, and I know it.

• From Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance (1995)

  Then again, maybe that’s not all that the waiter is feeling. Maybe a part of him still clings to the stories of Mau-Mau, the same part of him that remembers the hush of a village night or the sound of his mother grinding corn under a stone pallet. Something in him still says that the white man’s ways are not his ways, that the objects he may use every day are not of his making. He remembers a time, a way of imagining himself, that he leaves only at his peril. He can’t escape the grip of his memories. And so he straddles two worlds, uncertain in each, always off balance, playing whichever game staves off the bottomless poverty, careful to let his anger vent itself only on those in the same condition. A voice says to him yes, changes have come, the old ways lie broken, and you must find a way as fast as you can to feed your belly and stop the white man from laughing at you. A voice says no, you will sooner burn the earth to the ground. That evening, we drove east to Kariako, a sprawling apartment complex surrounded by dirt lots. The moon had dropped behind thick clouds, and light drizzle had begun to fall. As we climbed the dark stairwell, a young man bounded past us onto the broken pavement and into the night. At the top of three flights, Auma pushed against a door that was slightly ajar. “Barry! You’ve finally come!” A short, stocky woman with a cheerful brown face gave me a tight squeeze around the waist. Behind her were fifteen or so people, all of them smiling and waving like a crowd at a parade. The short woman looked up at me and frowned. “You don’t remember me, do you?” “I …” “I’m your Aunt Jane. It is me that called you when your father died.” She smiled and took me by the hand. “Come. You must meet everybody here. Zeituni you have already met. This …” she said, leading me to a handsome older woman in a green patterned dress, “this is my sister, Kezia. She is mother to Auma and to Roy Obama.” Kezia took my hand and said my name together with a few words of Swahili. “She says her other son has finally come home,” Jane said. “My son,” Kezia repeated in English, nodding and pulling me into a hug. “My son has come home.” We continued around the room, shaking hands with aunts, cousins, nephews, and nieces. Everyone greeted me with cheerful curiosity but very little awkwardness, as if meeting a relative for the first time was an everyday occurrence. I had brought a bag of chocolates for the children, and they gathered around me with polite stares as the adults tried to explain who I was. I noticed a young man, sixteen or seventeen, standing against the wall with a watchful expression.

• From Tipping the Velvet (1998)

  Anyone with half an eye could see that my heart lay all with Kitty Butler now; anyone might guess that, having once been offered the chance of a future at her side, and kept from it, I could never return to my father’s kitchen and be happy there, as I had been before.So when, an hour or so after Kitty’s departure, I nervously put her plan before my parents, and argued and pleaded for their blessing, they listened to me wonderingly, but carefully; and when, the next day, Father stopped me on my way down to the kitchen to draw me into the parlour where it was quiet and still, his face was sad and serious, but kind. He asked me, first, whether I had not changed my mind? I shook my head, and he sighed. He said, if I was quite decided, then Mother and he could not keep me; that I was a grown-up woman, almost, and should be allowed to know my own mind; that they had thought to see me marry a Whitstable boy, and settle close at hand, and so have a share in my little happinesses and troubles - but that now, he supposed, I would go and hitch up with some London fellow, who wouldn’t understand their ways at all.But children, he concluded, weren’t made to please their parents; and no father should expect to have his daughter at his side for ever... ‘In short, Nance, even was you going to the very devil himself, your mother and I would rather see you fly from us in joy, than stay with us in sorrow - and grow, maybe, to hate us, for keeping you from your fate.’ I had never known him so grave before, nor so eloquent. I had never seen him weep either; but now as he spoke his eyes glistened, and he blinked, twice or thrice, to hold the tears back, and his voice grew thin. I placed my head against his shoulder and let my own tears rise and spill. He put an arm about me, and patted me. ‘It breaks our hearts to lose you, dear,’ he went on. ‘You know it does. Only promise us that you won’t forget us, quite. That you’ll write to us, and visit us. And that, if things don’t turn out as you might, quite, wish them, you won’t be too proud to come home to those that love you -’ Here his voice failed utterly, and he shuddered; and I could only nod against his neck and say, ‘I will, I will; I promise you, I will.’But oh! hard-hearted daughter that I was, when he had left me my tears dried at once, and I felt the return of all my gladness of the night before. I hugged myself in pleasure, and danced a jig around the parlour - but delicately, on tiptoe, so that they wouldn’t hear me in the dining-room below.