Excitement

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

Page 69 of 182 · 20 per page

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  The young man saw other young men like himself entering a teahouse, so he followed them in. Here the highest class of courtesans, the great tayus, plied their trade. A few minutes after the young man sat down, he heard a noise and bustle, and down the stairs came a few of the tayus, followed by musicians and jesters. The women's eyebrows were shaved, replaced by a thick black painted line. Their hair was swept up in a perfect fold, and he had never seen such beautiful kimonos. The tayus seemed to float across the floor, using different kinds of steps (suggestive, creeping, cautious, etc.), depending on whom they were approaching and what they wanted to communicate to him. They ignored the young man; he had no idea how to invite them over, but he noticed that some of the older men had a way of bantering with them that was a language all its own. The wine began to flow, music was played, and finally some lower-level courtesans came in. By then the young man's tongue was loosened. These courtesans were much friendlier and the young man began to lose all track of time. Later he managed to stagger home, and only the next morning did he realize how much money he had spent. If father ever found out . . . Yet a few weeks later he was back. Like hundreds of such sons in Japan whose stories filled the literature of the period, he was on the path toward squandering his father's wealth on the "floating world." Seduction is another world into which you initiate your victims. Like the ukiyo, it depends on a strict separation from the day-to-day world. When your victims are in your presence, the outside world—with its morality, its codes, its responsibilities—is banished. Anything is allowed, particularly anything normally repressed. The conversation is lighter and more suggestive. Clothes and places have a touch of theatricality. The license exists to act differently, to be someone else, without any heaviness or judging. It is a kind of concentrated psychological "floating world" that you create for the others, and it becomes addictive. When they leave you and return to their routines, they are doubly aware of what they are missing. The moment Appendix A: Seductive Environment/Seductive Time • 437 they crave the atmosphere you have created, the seduction is complete. As in the floating world, money is to be wasted. Generosity and luxury go hand in hand with a seductive environment.

• From The Annotated Lolita (1991)

  Do come on.” She was on the whole an obedient little girl and I kissed her in the neck when we got back into the car. “Don’t do that,” she said looking at me with unfeigned surprise. “Don’t drool on me. You dirty man.” She rubbed the spot against her raised shoulder. “Sorry,” I murmured. “I’m rather fond of you, that’s all.” We drove under a gloomy sky, up a winding road, then down again. “Well, I’m also sort of fond of you,” said Lolita in a delayed soft voice, with a sort of sigh, and sort of settled closer to me. (Oh, my Lolita, we shall never get there!) Dusk was beginning to saturate pretty little Briceland, its phony colonial architecture, curiosity shops and imported shade trees, when we drove through the weakly lighted streets in search of the Enchanted Hunters. The air, despite a steady drizzle beading it, was warm and green, and a queue of people, mainly children and old men, had already formed before the box office of a movie house, dripping with jewel-fires. “Oh, I want to see that picture. Let’s go right after dinner. Oh, let’s!” “We might,” chanted Humbert—knowing perfectly well, the sly tumescent devil, that by nine, when his show began, she would be dead in his arms. “Easy!” cried Lo, lurching forward, as an accursed truck in front of us, its backside carbuncles pulsating, stopped at a crossing. If we did not get to the hotel soon, immediately, miraculously, in the very next block, I felt I would lose all control over the Haze jalopy with its ineffectual wipers and whimsical brakes; but the passers-by I applied to for directions were either strangers themselves or asked with a frown “Enchanted what?” as if I were a madman; or else they went into such complicated explanations, with geometrical gestures, geographical generalities and strictly local clues (… then bear south after you hit the courthouse …) that I could not help losing my way in the maze of their well-meaning gibberish. Lo, whose lovely prismatic entrails, had already digested the sweetmeat, was looking forward to a big meal and had begun to fidget. As to me, although I had long become used to a kind of secondary fate (McFate’s inept secretary, so to speak) pettily interfering with the boss’s generous magnificent plan—to grind and grope through the avenues of Briceland was perhaps the most exasperating ordeal I had yet faced.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Keep stoking the fires night after night. Your targets must never know what's coming next—what surprises you have in store for them. As with King Shahriyar, they will be under your control for as long as you can keep them guessing. In 1765, Casanova met a young Italian countess named Clementina who lived with her two sisters in a château. Clementina loved to read, and had little interest in the men who swarmed around her. Casanova added himself to their number, buying her books, engaging her in literary discus- sions, but she was no less indifferent to him than she had been to them. Then one day he invited the entire family on a little trip. He would not tell them where they were going. They piled into the carriage, all the way try- ing to guess their destination. A few hours later they entered Milan—what joy, the sisters had never been there. Casanova led them to his apartment, where three dresses had been laid out—the most magnificent dresses the girls had ever seen. There was one for each of the sisters, he told them, and the green one was for Clementina. Stunned, she put it on, and her face lit up. The surprises did not stop—there was a delicious meal, champagne, games. By the time they returned to the château, late in the evening, Clementina had fallen hopelessly in love with Casanova. The reason was simple: surprise creates a moment when people's de- fenses come down and new emotions can rush in. If the surprise is pleasur- able, the seductive poison enters their veins without their realizing it. Any sudden event has a similar effect, striking directly at our emotions before we get defensive. Rakes know this power well. A young married woman in the court of Louis XV, in eighteenth- century France, noticed a handsome young courtier watching her, first at the opera, then in church. Making inquiries, she found it was the Duc de Richelieu, the most notorious rake in France. No woman was safe from this man, she was warned; he was impossible to resist, and she should avoid him at all costs. Nonsense, she replied, she was happily married. He could not possibly seduce her. Seeing him again, she laughed at his persistence. He would disguise himself as a beggar and approach her in the park, or his coach would suddenly come alongside hers. He was never aggressive, and seemed harmless enough. She let him talk to her at court; he was charming and witty, and even asked to meet her husband. The weeks passed, and the woman realized she had made a mistake: she looked forward to seeing the marquis. She had let down her guard. This had to stop. Now she started avoiding him, and he seemed to respect her feelings: he stopped bothering her.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Most of us are a mix of the devil and the saint, the noble and the igno-ble, and we spend our lives trying to repress the dark side. Few of us can give free rein to both sides, as Rasputin did, but we can create charisma to a smaller degree by ridding ourselves of self-consciousness, and of the discomfort most of us feel about our complicated natures. You cannot help being the way you are, so be genuine. That is what attracts us to animals: beautiful and cruel, they have no self-doubt. That quality is doubly fascinating in humans. Outwardly people may condemn your dark side, but it is not virtue alone that creates charisma; anything extraordinary will do. Do not apologize or go halfway. The more unbridled you seem, the more magnetic the effect. 106 • The Art of Seduction By its very nature, the The demonic performer. Throughout his childhood Elvis Presley was existence of charismatic thought a strange boy who kept pretty much to himself. In high school in authority is specifically Memphis, Tennessee, he attracted attention with his pompadoured hair and unstable. The holder may forego his charisma; he sideburns, his pink and black clothing, but people who tried to talk to him may feel "forsaken by his found nothing there—he was either terribly bland or hopelessly shy. At the God," as Jesus did on the high school prom, he was the only boy who didn't dance. He seemed lost cross; he may prove to his followers that "virtue in a private world, in love with the guitar he took everywhere. At the Ellis is gone out of him." It is Auditorium, at the end of an evening of gospel music or wrestling, the then that his mission concessions manager would often find Elvis onstage, miming a perfor-is extinguished, and hope mance and taking bows before an imaginary audience. Asked to leave, he waits and searches for a new holder of charisma. would quietly walk away. He was a very polite young man. —MAX WEBER, FROM MAX In 1953, just out of high school, Elvis recorded his first song, in a local WEBER: ESSAYS IN SOCIOLOGY, studio. The record was a test, a chance for him to hear his own voice. A EDITED BY HANS GERTH AND year later the owner of the studio, Sam Phillips, called him in to record two C . WRIGHT M I L L S blues songs with a couple of professional musicians. They worked for hours, but nothing seemed to click; Elvis was nervous and inhibited. Then, near the end of the evening, giddy with exhaustion, he suddenly let loose and started to jump around like a child, in a moment of complete self-abandon. The other musicians joined in, the song getting wilder and wilder. Phillips's eyes lit up—he had something here.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Sometimes he would act as if they were about to be discov- ered, the momentary fright sharpening the overall thrill. In all cases, he would try to turn the young girl against her parents, ridiculing their reli- gious zeal or prudery or pious behavior. The duke's stategy was to attack the values that his targets held dearest—precisely the values that represent a limit. In a young person, family ties, religious ties, and the like are useful to the seducer; young people barely need a reason to rebel against them. The strategy, though, can be applied to a person of any age: for every deeply held value there is a shadow side, a doubt, a desire to explore what those values forbid. In Renaissance Italy, a prostitute would dress as a lady and go to church. Nothing was more exciting to a man than to exchange glances with a woman whom he knew to be a whore as he was surrounded by his wife, family, peers, and church officials. Every religion or value system creates a dark side, the shadow realm of everything it prohibits. Tease your targets, get them to flirt with whatever transgresses their family values, which are often emotional yet superficial, since they are imposed from the outside. One of the most seductive men of the twentieth century, Rudolph Valentino, was known as the Sex Menace. His appeal for women was twofold: he could be tender and attentive, but he also hinted of cruelty. At any moment he could become dangerously bold, perhaps even a little vio- lent. The studios played up this double image as much as possible—when it was reported that he had been abusive to his wife, for example, they ex- Stir Up the Transgressive and Taboo • 357 ploited the story. A mix of the masculine and the feminine, the violent and the tender, will always seem transgressive and appealing. Love is supposed to be tender and delicate, but in fact it can release violent and destructive emotions; and the possible violence of love, the way it breaks down our normal reasonableness, is just what attracts us. Approach romance's violent side by mixing a cruel streak into your tender attentions, particularly in the latter stages of the seduction, when the target is in your clutches. The courtesan Lola Montez was known to turn to violence, using a whip now and then, and Lou Andreas-Salomé could be exceptionally cruel to her men, playing coquettish games, turning alternately icy and demanding. Her cruelty only kept her targets coming back for more. A masochistic involve- ment can represent a great transgressive release. The more illicit your seduction feels, the more powerful its effect.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  GO TO THE RIALTO FOR ON FEBRUARY 21ST THE SKY WILL TELL YOU WHERE THE BEST SHOW IN TOWN CAN BE SEEN! (The Capitol, the Rivoli, the Strand, and the Rialto were the four big first-run movie houses on Broadway.) Almost everyone saw the ad and wondered what this fabulous show was. The owner of the Capitol asked Harry if he knew anything about it, and Harry let him in on the secret: it was all a publicity stunt for an un-booked picture. The owner asked to see a screening of The Forbidden Woman; through most of the film, Harry yakked about the publicity campaign, distracting the man from the dullness onscreen. The theater owner decided to show the film for a week, and so, on the evening of February 21, as a heavy snowstorm blanketed the city and all eyes turned to the sky, giant rays of light poured out from the tallest buildings—a brilliant show of green. An enormous crowd flocked to the Capitol theater. Those who did not get in kept coming back. Somehow, with a packed house and an excited crowd, the film did not seem quite so bad. The following year Harry was asked to publicize a gangster picture called Outside the Law. On high-ways across the country he set up billboards that read, in giant letters, IF Y O U DANCE O N SUNDAY, Y O U ARE OUTSIDE T H E L A W . On other billboards the word "dance" was replaced by "play golf" or "play pool" and so on. On a top corner of the billboards was a shield bearing the initials "PD." The public assumed this meant "police department" (actually, it stood for Priscilla Dean, the star of the movie) and that the police, backed by religious organizations, were prepared to enforce decades-old blue laws prohibiting "sinful" activities on a Sunday. Suddenly a controversy was sparked. Theater owners, golfing associations, and dance organizations led a countercampaign against the blue laws; they put up their own billboards, exclaiming that if you did those things on Sunday, you were not "OUTSIDE THE LAW" and issuing a call for Americans to have some fun in their lives. For weeks the words "Outside the Law" were everywhere seen and everywhere on people's lips. In the midst of this the film opened—on a Sunday—in four New York theaters simultaneously, something that had never happened before. And it ran for months throughout the country, also on Sundays. It was one of the big hits of the year. Interpretation. Harry Reichenbach, perhaps the greatest press agent in movie history, never forgot the lessons he had learned as a barker. The carnival is full of bright lights, color, noise, and the ebb and flow of the

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  A normal man's tomcatting will eventually land him in hot water, but the Aesthetic Rake rarely stirs up ugly emotions. After he seduces a woman, there is neither an integration nor a sacrifice. He keeps them hanging and hoping. The spell is not broken the next day, because the Aesthetic Rake makes the separation a pleasant, even elegant experience. The spell Ellington cast on a woman never went away. The lesson is simple: keep the moments after the seduction and the separation in the same key as before, heightened, aesthetic, and pleasant. If you do not act guilty for your feckless behavior, it is hard for the other per- son to feel angry or resentful. Seduction is a lighthearted game, in which you invest all of your energy in the moment. The separation should be lighthearted and stylish as well: it is work, travel, some dreaded responsi- bility that calls you away. Create a memorable experience and then move on, and your victim will most likely remember the delightful seduction, not the separation. You will have made no enemies, and will have a lifelong harem of lovers to whom you can always return when you feel so inclined. 4. In 1899, twenty-year-old Baroness Frieda von Richthofen married an Englishman named Ernest Weekley, a professor at the University of Not- tingham, and soon settled into the role of the professor's wife. Weekley treated her well, but she grew bored with their quiet life and his tepid love- making. On trips home to Germany she had a few love affairs, but this wasn't what she wanted either, and so she returned to being faithful and caring for their three children. One day in 1912, a former student of Weekley's, David Herbert Lawrence, paid a visit to the couple's house. A struggling writer, Lawrence wanted the professor's professional advice. He was not home yet so Frieda entertained him. She had never met such an intense young man. He talked of his impoverished youth, his inability to understand women. And he lis- tened attentively to her own complaints. He even scolded her for the bad tea she had made him—somehow, even though she was a baroness, this ex- cited her. Lawrence returned for later visits, but now to see Frieda, not Weekley. One day he confessed to her that he had fallen deeply in love with her. She admitted to similar feelings, and proposed they find a trysting spot. Instead Lawrence had a proposal of his own: Leave your husband tomorrow—leave him for me. What about the children? Frieda asked.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Follow the widow's example: your bold move should have a theatrical quality to it. That will make it memorable, and make your aggressiveness seem pleasant, A man should proceed to enjoy any woman when she gives him an opportunity and makes her own love manifest to him by the following signs: she calls out to a man without first being addressed by him; she shows herself to him in secret places; she speaks to him tremblingly and inarticulately; her face blooms with delight and her fingers or toes perspire; and sometimes she remains with both hands placed on his body as if she had been surprised by something, or as if overcome with fatigue. • After a woman has manifested her love to him by outward signs, and by the motions of her body, the man should make every possible attempt to conquer her. There should be no indecision or hesitancy: if an opening is found the man should make the most • of it. The woman, indeed, becomes disgusted with the man if he is timid about his chances and throws them away. Boldness is the rule, for everything is to be gained, and nothing lost. —THE HINDU ART OF LOVE, COLLECTED AND EDITED BY EDWARD WINDSOR 412 • The Art of'Seduction part of the drama. The theatricality can come from the setting—an exotic or sensual location. It can also come from your actions. The widow piqued her victim's curiosity by creating the suspense about her bedroom. An ele- ment of fear—someone might find you, say—will heighten the tension. Remember: you are creating a moment that must stand out from the same- ness of daily life. Keeping your targets emotional will both weaken them and heighten the drama of the moment. And the best way to keep them at an emotional pitch is by infecting them with emotions of your own. When Valmont wanted the Presidents to become calm, angry, or tender, he showed that emotion first, and she mirrored it. People are very susceptible to the moods of those around them; this is particularly acute at the latter stages of a se- duction, when resistance is low and the target has fallen under your spell. At the point of the bold move, learn to infect your target with whatever emotional mood you require, as opposed to suggesting the mood with words. You want access to the target's unconscious, which is best obtained by infecting them with emotions, bypassing their conscious ability to resist. It may seem expected for the male to make the bold move, but history is full of successfully bold females. There are two main forms of feminine boldness. In the first, more traditional form, the coquettish woman stirs male desire, is completely in control, then at the last minute, after bringing her victim to a boil, steps back and lets him make the bold move. She sets it up, then signals with her eyes, her gestures, that she is ready for him.

• From The Annotated Lolita (1991)

  In the first antemeridian hours there was a lull in the restless hotel night. Then around four the corridor toilet cascaded and its door banged. A little after five a reverberating monologue began to arrive, in several installments, from some courtyard or parking place. It was not really a monologue, since the speaker stopped every few seconds to listen (presumably) to another fellow, but that other voice did not reach me, and so no real meaning could be derived from the part heard. Its matter-of-fact intonations, however, helped to bring in the dawn, and the room was already suffused with lilac gray, when several industrious toilets went to work, one after the other, and the clattering and whining elevator began to rise and take down early risers and downers, and for some minutes I miserably dozed, and Charlotte was a mermaid in a greenish tank, and somewhere in the passage Dr. Boyd said “Good morning to you” in a fruity voice, and birds were busy in the trees, and then Lolita yawned. Frigid gentlewomen of the jury! I had thought that months, perhaps years, would elapse before I dared to reveal myself to Dolores Haze; but by six she was wide awake, and by six fifteen we were technically lovers. I am going to tell you something very strange: it was she who seduced me.

• From The Annotated Lolita (1991)

  In later months I could laugh at my inexperience when recalling the obstinate boyish way in which I had concentrated upon that particular inn with its fancy name; for all along our route countless motor courts proclaimed their vacancy in neon lights, ready to accommodate salesmen, escaped convicts, impotents, family groups, as well as the most corrupt and vigorous couples. Ah, gentle drivers gliding through summer’s black nights, what frolics, what twists of lust, you might see from your impeccable highways if Kumfy Kabins were suddenly drained of their pigments and became as transparent as boxes of glass! The miracle I hankered for did happen after all. A man and a girl, more or less conjoined in a dark car under dripping trees, told us we were in the heart of The Park, but had only to turn left at the next traffic light and there we would be. We did not see any next traffic light—in fact, The Park was as black as the sins it concealed—but soon after falling under the smooth spell of a nicely graded curve, the travelers became aware of a diamond glow through the mist, then a gleam of lakewater appeared—and there it was, marvelously and inexorably, under spectral trees, at the top of a graveled drive—the pale palace of The Enchanted Hunters. A row of parked cars, like pigs at a trough, seemed at first sight to forbid access; but then, by magic, a formidable convertible, resplendent, rubious in the lighted rain, came into motion—was energetically backed out by a broad-shouldered driver—and we gratefully slipped into the gap it had left. I immediately regretted my haste for I noticed that my predecessor had now taken advantage of a garage-like shelter nearby where there was ample space for another car; but I was too impatient to follow his example. “Wow! Looks swank,” remarked my vulgar darling squinting at the stucco as she crept out into the audible drizzle and with a childish hand tweaked loose the frock-fold that had stuck in the peach-cleft—to quote Robert Browning. Under the arclights enlarged replicas of chestnut leaves plunged and played on white pillars. I unlocked the trunk compartment. A hunchbacked and hoary Negro in a uniform of sorts took our bags and wheeled them slowly into the lobby. It was full of old ladies and clergymen.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  It was their coup that had indirectly brought de Gaulle to power; surely, they imagined, he was coming to thank them, and to reassure them that Algeria would remain French. When he arrived in Algiers, thousands of people filled the city's main plaza. The mood was extremely festive—there were banners, music, and endless chants of "Algérie française," the French-colonial slogan. Suddenly de Gaulle ap- peared on a balcony overlooking the plaza. The crowd went wild. The general, an extremely tall man, raised his arms above his head, and the chanting doubled in volume. The crowd was begging him to join in. In- stead he lowered his arms until silence fell, then opened them wide, and slowly intoned, in his deep voice, "Je vous ai compris"—I have understood you. There was a moment of quiet, and then, as his words sank in, a deaf- ening roar: he understood them. That was all they needed to hear. De Gaulle proceeded to talk of the greatness of France. More cheers. He promised there would be new elections, and "with those elected repre- sentatives we will see how to do the rest." Yes, a new government, just what the crowd wanted—more cheers. He would "find the place for Algeria" in the French "ensemble." There must be "total discipline, without qualifica- tion and without conditions"—who could argue with that? He closed with a loud call: "Vive la République! Vive la France!" the emotional slogan that After Operation Sedition, we are being treated to Operation Seduction. —MAURICE KRIEGEL- VALRIMONT ON CHARLES DE GAULLE, SHORTLY AFTER THE GENERAL ASSUMED POWER My mistress staged a lock- out. . . . \ I went back to verses and compliments, \ My natural weapons. Soft words \ Remove harsh door-chains. There's magic in poetry, its power \ Can pull down the bloody moon, \ Turn bach the sun, make serpents burst asunder \ Or rivers flow upstream. \ Doors are no match for such spellbinding, the toughest \ Locks can be opeu-sesamed by its charms. \ But epic's a dead loss for me. I'll get nowhere with swift-footed \ Achilles, or with either of Atreus' sons. \ Old what's- his-name wasting twenty years on war and travel, \ Poor Hector dragged in the dust— \ No good. But lavish fine words on some young girl's profile \ And sooner or later shell tender herself as the fee, \ An ample reward for your 253 254 • The Art of Seduction had been the rallying cry in the fight against the Nazis. Everyone shouted it back. In the next few days de Gaulle made similar speeches around Algeria, to equally delirious crowds.

• From Fear of Flying (1973)

  You’re the one who thinks it matters if there are calls from Miracle Foam.” “Just tell me what corner to meet you on in hell and I’ll come. I swear I will. Just tell me what corner.” “Don’t you know?” “No. Honestly I don’t. Please tell me.” “I think you’re trying to make a fool of me.” “Brian, darling, I only want to see you. Please let me see you.” “You can see me right now in your mind’s eye. Your blindness is of your own making. You and King Lear.” “Are you in a phone booth? Or a bar? Please tell me.” “You already know!” The conversation went on like this for some time. Brian hung up on me twice and then called back. Finally he agreed to identify the phone booth he was in, not by name but by a sort of guessing game. I had to participate in it by eliminating the possibilities. This took another twenty minutes and several nickels. Finally it turned out he was at the Gotham Bar. I dashed out and took a cab down to meet him. I learned that he had spent the day taking Puerto Rican and black kids for boat rides on Central Park Lake, buying them ice cream, giving money away to people in the park, and planning his escape from hell. He had not actually walked on the water but he had thought about it quite a lot. Now he was ready to change his life. He had discovered he was possessed of a fund of superhuman energy. Other mortals needed sleep. He did not. Other mortals needed jobs and degrees and all the paraphernalia of everyday life. He did not. He was going to embark on the destiny which had always awaited him—saving the world. I was to help him. To tell you the truth, none of this talk really displeased me very much. It rather excited me. The idea of Brian quitting market research and my quitting graduate school and our going off together to save the world was perfectly OK with me. I had always urged him to quit market research, in fact. I had tried to lure him to go off to Europe with me and just wander for a while. But Brian had always protested. He had gone into market research as if it were the last great crusade. As we walked through the city that Saturday night, it was his behavior which disturbed me far more than his wild talk. He wanted us both to close our eyes and cross streets against the lights (to prove we were gods).

• From Sex at Dawn (2010)

  “Sex at Dawn is a page-turner. It’s like a novel. You can’t put it down—it is so much fun to read…. It’s a fascinating book. I felt like this book was written for me!” —Susie Bright, legendary sex-positive feminist and author “I have not read such delightful, convincing, and readable science writing since the dearly lamented Stephen Jay Gould. This book is funny, absorbing, clear-eyed, and deeply anti-patriarchal in a way that feels incidental to the facts rather than rising from any agenda—which I find utterly, gleefully vindicating and deeply satisfying…. It made me laugh out loud every ten pages. Just as importantly, this book made me proud to be human.” —Haddayr Copley-Woods, Aqueduct Press “Sex at Dawn is the best, most fascinating, most unsettling, yet ultimately inspirational book on the evolutionary nature of human sexuality that’s out there!” —Susan Block, Ph.D., sexologist, author, radio and television host “An exciting book…. Whether people agree with it or not: these are issues that will need debating over and over before we will arrive at a resolution.” —Frans de Waal, Ph.D., author of The Age of Empathy: Nature’s Lessons for a Kinder Society “Turns everything you thought you knew about sex on its head. Funny, engaging, and superbly written, this book explores the science behind what many of us suspected all along: human beings are not naturally monogamous.” —Julie Holland, M.D., author of Weekends at Bellevue “Sex at Dawn manages to be both enormously erudite and wildly entertaining—even, frequently, hilarious. Ryan and Jethá slip effortlessly across millions of years, from the savanna of prehistoric Africa to the contemporary bedroom, presenting cutting-edge research with clarity and wit.” —Tony Perrottet, author of The Sinner’s Grand Tour “This is a provocative, entertaining, and pioneering book. I learned a lot from it and recommend it highly.” —Andrew Weil, MD, Program Director, Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine “Sex at Dawn is not a tome on why people should cheat on their partners. Think of it as a new, wide-ranging sampling of research and ideas to get us to rethink our notion of human beings as sexual beings…. It helps put the ‘human’ back in ‘human sexuality.’ As suitable for an open-minded book club as the veteran sex therapist seeking new ways to rethink common challenges faced in clinical practice.” —Eric Marlowe Garrison, Contemporary Sexuality Credits Cover design by Andrea Cardenas Copyright SEX AT DAWN. Copyright © 2010 by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books. FIRST HARPER PERENNIAL EDITION PUBLISHED 2011. * * *

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Lure them with an irresistible pleasure or adven- ture (8: Create temptation) and they will follow your lead. Choose the Right Victim Everything de- pends on the target of your seduc- tion. Study your prey thoroughly, and choose only those who will prove susceptible to your charms. The right victims are those for whom you can fill a void, who see in you something exotic. They are often isolated or at least somewhat unhappy (perhaps because of re- cent adverse circumstances), or can easily be made so—for the completely contented person is almost impossible to seduce. The perfect victim has some natural quality that attracts you. The strong emotions this quality inspires will help make your seductive maneuvers seem more natural and dynamic. The perfect victim allows for the perfect chase. Preparing for the Hunt T he young Vicomte de Valmont was a notorious libertine in the Paris of the 1770s, the ruin of many a young girl and the ingenious seducer of the wives of illustrious aristocrats. But after a while the repetitiveness of it all began to bore him; his successes came too easily So one year, during the sweltering, slow month of August, he decided to take a break from Paris and visit his aunt at her château in the provinces. Life there was not what he was used to—there were country walks, chats with the local vicar, card games. His city friends, particularly his fellow libertine and confidante the Marquise de Merteuil, expected him to hurry back. There were other guests at the château, however, including the Prési- dente de Tourvel, a twenty-two-year-old woman whose husband was tem- porarily absent, having work to do elsewhere. The Présidente had been languishing at the château, waiting for him to join her. Valmont had met her before; she was certainly beautiful, but had a reputation as a prude who was extremely devoted to her husband. She was not a court lady; her taste in clothing was atrocious (she always covered her neck with ghastly frills) and her conversation lacked wit. For some reason, however, far from Paris, Valmont began to see these traits in a new light. He followed her to the chapel where she went every morning to pray. He caught glimpses of her at dinner, or playing cards. Unlike the ladies of Paris, she seemed unaware of her charms; this excited him. Because of the heat, she wore a simple linen dress, which revealed her figure. A piece of muslin covered her breasts, let- ting him more than imagine them. Her hair, unfashionable in its slight dis- order, conjured the bedroom. And her face—he had never noticed how expressive it was. Her features lit up when she gave alms to a beggar; she blushed at the slightest praise. She was so natural and unself-conscious. And when she talked of her husband, or religious matters, he could sense the depth of her feelings. If such a passionate nature were ever detoured into a love affair. . . .

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Making your targets feel that you are leading them past either kind of limit is immensely seductive. People yearn to ex- plore their dark side. Not everything in romantic love is supposed to be tender and soft; hint that you have a cruel, even sadistic streak. You do not respect age differences, marriage vows, family ties. Once the desire to transgress draws your targets to you, it will be hard for them to stop. Take them further than they imagined—the shared feeling of guilt and complicity will create a powerful bond. The Lost Self I n March of 1812, the twenty-four-year-old George Gordon Byron pub- lished the first cantos of his poem Childe Harold. The poem was filled with familiar gothic imagery—a dilapidated abbey, debauchery, travels to the mysterious East—but what made it different was that the hero of the poem was also its villain: Harold was a man who led a life of vice, disdain- ing society's conventions yet somehow going unpunished. Also, the poem was not set in some faraway land but in present-day England. Childe Harold created an instant stir, becoming the talk of London. The first printing quickly sold out. Within days a rumor made the rounds: the poem, about a debauched young nobleman, was in fact autobiographical. Now the cream of society clamored to meet Lord Byron, and many of them left their calling cards at his London residence. Soon he was showing up at their homes. Strangely enough, he exceeded their expectations. He was devilishly handsome, with curling hair and the face of an angel. His black attire set off his pale complexion. He did not talk much, which made an impression of itself, and when he did, his voice was low and hypnotic and his tone a little disdainful. He had a limp (he was born with a clubfoot), so when an orchestra struck up a waltz (the dance craze of 1812), he would stand to the side, a faraway look in his eye. The ladies went wild over By- ron. Upon meeting him, Lady Roseberry felt her heart beating so violently (a mix of fear and excitement) that she had to walk away. Women fought to be seated next to him, to win his attention, to be seduced by him. Was it true that he was guilty of a secret sin, like the hero of his poem? Lady Caroline Lamb—wife of William Lamb, son of Lord and Lady Melbourne—was a glittering young woman on the social scene, but deep inside she was unhappy.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Increasingly interested in filmmaking, Warhol cast his friends in his movies. In effect he was offering them a kind of instant celebrity (their "fifteen minutes of fame"—the phrase is Warhol's). Soon people were competing for roles. He groomed women in particular for stardom: Edie Sedgwick, Viva, Nico. Just being around him offered a kind of celebrity by association. The Factory became the place to be seen, and stars like Judy Garland and Tennessee Williams would go to parties there, rubbing elbows with Sedgwick, Viva, and the bohemian lower echelons whom Warhol had befriended. People began sending limos to bring him to parties of their own; his presence alone was enough to turn a social evening into a scene— even though he would pass through in near silence, keeping to himself and leaving early. In 1967, Warhol was asked to lecture at various colleges. He hated to talk, particularly about his own art; "The less something has to say," he felt, "the more perfect it is." But the money was good and Warhol always found it hard to say no. His solution was simple: he asked an actor, Allen Midgette, to impersonate him. Midgette was dark-haired, tan, part Chero- kee Indian. He did not resemble Warhol in the least. But Warhol and friends covered his face with powder, sprayed his brown hair silver, gave him dark glasses, and dressed him in Warhol's clothes. Since Midgette knew nothing about art, his answers to students' questions tended to be as short and enigmatic as Warhol's own. The impersonation worked. Warhol may have been an icon, but no one really knew him, and since he often wore dark glasses, even his face was unfamiliar in any detail. The lecture audi- ences were far enough away to be teased by the thought of his presence, and no one got close enough to catch the deception. He remained elusive. * * * looking round in every direction. . . . He looked behind him, and when no one appeared, cried again: "Why are you avoiding me?" But all he heard were his own words echoed back. Still he persisted, deceived by what he took to be another's voice, and said, "Come here, and let us meet!" Echo answered: "Let us meet!" Never again would she reply more willingly to any sound.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Catherine promoted Potemkin higher and higher in the hierarchy, eventually making him the governor of White Russia, a large southwestern area including the Ukraine. As governor, Potemkin had to leave St. Peters- burg and go to live in the south. He knew that Catherine could not do without male companionship, so he took it upon himself to name Cather- ine's subsequent vremienchiki. She not only approved of this arrangement, she made it clear that Potemkin would always remain her favorite. Catherine's dream was to start a war with Turkey, recapture Constan- when you look at her: is that not enough? She is the generative force of an illusion, the birth point of desire, the threshold of contemplation of bodily beauty. —LYNNE LAWNER, LIVES OF THE COURTESANS: PORTRAITS OF THE RENAISSANCE It was on March 16, the same day the Duke of Gloucester wrote to Sir William, that Goethe recorded the first known performance of what were destined to be called Emma's Attitudes. Just what these were, we shall learn shortly. First, it must be emphasized that the Attitudes were a show for favored eyes only. • ... Goethe, disciple of Winckelmann, was at this date thrilled by the human form, as a contemporary writes. Here was the ideal spectator for the classical drama Emma and Sir William had wrought in the long winter evenings. Let us take our seats beside Goethe and settle to watch the show as he describes it. • "Sit William Hamilton . . . has now, after many years of devotion to the arts and the study of nature, found the acme of these delights in the person of an English girl of twenty with a beautiful face and a perfect figure. He has had a Greek costume made for her which becomes her extremely. Dressed in this, he lets down her hair and, with a few shawls, gives so much variety to her poses, gestures, expressions, etc. that the spectator can hardly believe his eyes. He sees what thousands of artists would have liked to Confuse Desire and Reality—The Perfect Illusion • 301 tinople for the Orthodox Church, and drive the Turks out of Europe. She offered to share this crusade with the young Hapsburg emperor, Joseph II, but Joseph never quite brought himself to sign the treaty that would unite them in war. Growing impatient, in 1783 Catherine annexed the Crimea, a southern peninsula that was mostly populated by Muslim Tartars. She asked Potemkin to do there what he had already managed to do in the Ukraine— rid the area of bandits, build roads, modernize the ports, bring prosperity to the poor. Once he had cleaned it up, the Crimea would make the per- fect launching post for the war against Turkey The Crimea was a backward wasteland, but Potemkin loved the chal- lenge. Getting to work on a hundred different projects, he grew intoxicated with visions of the miracles he would perform there.

• From Fear of Flying (1973)

  The dumpy frumpy lady mayor of Vienna bestowed herzliche Grüsse upon Anna Freud and the other analysts, and spewed out endless German bullshit about how glad the city of Vienna was to have them all back. No mention was made of the way they’d left in 1938, of course. No fifty-piece orchestra was playing The Blue Danube Waltz for them then, or plying them with herzlichen Grüssen and free Schnaps. When the food was brought out, herds of analysts in formal dress mooed and grunted toward the tables. “Hurry—they’re pushing ahead to the front of the line!” bleated one matron in accents redolent of Flatbush, overlaid with Scarsdale and the New School. “They’re already being served cake in the next room,” said another, a two-hundred-pound beauty in a canary-yellow satin pants suit, twinkling with rhinestones. “Don’t push!” said a distinguished- (or perhaps extinguished-) looking older analyst in an outdated tux and plaid cummerbund. He was being crushed between a woman lunging toward the turkey platter and a man lunging toward the antipasto. All up and down the tables, you could see nothing but long arms clawing at food with silver serving forks. Throughout this astonishing performance, the schmaltzy violins played on from their balconied perch above the main ballroom. The pseudo-Gothic arches of the high ceilings were illumined by thousands of pseudocandles, and a few diehards kept revolving on the dance floor in a halting Viennese waltz. Ah travel, adventure, romance! I was glowing with health and well-being, as a woman will glow when she’s been fucked four times in one day by two different men, but my mind was a welter of contradictions. I couldn’t make sense of all the contradictions I felt. At times I was defiant and thought I had every right to snatch whatever pleasure was offered to me for the duration of my short time on earth. Why shouldn’t I be happy and hedonistic? What was wrong with it? I knew that the women who got most out of life (and out of men) were the ones who demanded most, that if you acted as if you were valuable and desirable, men found you valuable and desirable, that if you refused to be a doormat, nobody could tread on you. I knew that servile women got walked on and women who acted like queens got treated that way.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  The French writer Denis Diderot once wrote, "I give my mind the liberty to follow the first wise or foolish Should anyone here in Rome lack finesse at love- making, \ Let him \ Try me—read my book, and results are guaranteed! \ Technique is the secret. Charioteer, sailor, oarsman, \ All need it. Technique can control \ Love himself. —OVID, THE ART OF LOVE, TRANSLATED BY PETER GREEN Preface • xxv idea that presents itself, just as in the avenue de Foy our dissolute youths follow close on the heels of some strumpet, then leave her to pursue an- other, attacking all of them and attaching themselves to none. My thoughts are my strumpets." He meant that he let himself be seduced by ideas, fol- lowing whichever one caught his fancy until a better one came along, his thoughts infused with a kind of sexual excitement. Once you enter these pages, do as Diderot advised: let yourself be lured by the stories and ideas, your mind open and your thoughts fluid. Slowly you will find yourself ab- sorbing the poison through the skin and you will begin to see everything as a seduction, including the way you think and how you look at the world. Most virtue is a demand for greater seduction. —NATALIE BARNEY W e all have the power of attraction—the ability to draw people in and hold them in our thrall. Far from all of us, though, are aware of this inner potential, and we imagine attractiveness instead as a near-mystical trait that a select few are born with and the rest will never command. Yet all we need to do to realize our potential is understand what it is in a person's character that naturally excites people and develop these latent qualities within us. Successful seductions rarely begin with an obvious maneuver or strate- gic device. That is certain to arouse suspicion. Successful seductions begin with your character, your ability to radiate some quality that attracts people and stirs their emotions in a way that is beyond their control. Hypnotized by your seductive character, your victims will not notice your subsequent manipulations. It will then be child's play to mislead and seduce them. There are nine seducer types in the world. Each type has a particular character trait that comes from deep within and creates a seductive pull. Sirens have an abundance of sexual energy and know how to use it. Rakes insatiably adore the opposite sex, and their desire is infectious. Ideal Lovers have an aesthetic sensibility that they apply to romance. Dandies like to play with their image, creating a striking and androgynous allure. Naturals are spontaneous and open. Coquettes are self-sufficient, with a fascinating cool at their core. Charmers want and know how to please—they are social crea- tures.

• From The Art of Seduction (2001)

  Then, he began to whisper to him of a great adventure. The duke, as Gondomar knew, was in favor of the match with the Spanish princess, but these damned marriage negotiations with King James were taking so long, and getting nowhere. What if the duke were to accompany the king's son, his good friend Prince Charles, to Spain? Of course, this would have to be done in secret, without guards or escorts, for the English government and its ministers would never sanction such a trip. But that would make it all the more dangerous and ro- mantic. Once in Madrid, the prince could throw himself at Princess Maria's feet, declare his undying love, and carry her back to England in tri- umph. What a chivalrous deed it would be and all for love. The duke would get all the credit and it would make his name famous for centuries. The duke fell for the idea, and convinced Charles to go along; after much arguing, they also convinced a reluctant King James. The trip was a near disaster (Charles would have had to convert to Catholicism to win Maria), and the marriage never happened, but Gondomar had done his job. He did not bribe the duke with offers of money or power—he aimed at the childlike part of him that never grew up. A child has little power to re- sist. It wants everything, now, and rarely thinks of the consequences. A child lies lurking in everyone—a pleasure that was denied them, a desire that was repressed. Hit at that point, tempt them with the proper toy (ad- venture, money, fun), and they will slough off their normal adult reason- ableness. Recognize their weakness by whatever childlike behavior they reveal in daily life—it is the tip of the iceberg. Napoleon Bonaparte was appointed the supreme general of the French army in 1796. His commission was to defeat the Austrian forces that had taken over northern Italy. The obstacles were immense: Napoleon was only twenty-six at the time; the generals below him were envious of his position and doubtful of his abilities. His soldiers were tired, underfed, underpaid, and grumpy. How could he motivate this group to fight the highly experi- enced Austrian army? As he prepared to cross the Alps into Italy, Napoleon gave a speech to his troops that may have been the turning point in his ca- reer, and in his life: "Soldiers, you are half starved and half naked. The gov- ernment owes you much, but can do nothing for you. Your patience, your courage, do you honor, but give you no glory. ...