Disappointment

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

Page 77 of 189 · 20 per page

• From Best Erotic Romance

  It was an offhand remark after a silly night of playing the game “I Never” with some friends. It wasn’t meant to be an insult, or at least that is what he said after the fact. There was no maliciousness in his words; he’d spoken them matter-of-factly as he pulled the car into the driveway. “I think our sex life has gotten boring.” I didn’t necessarily disagree with him, but I was quick to point out all the crazy things we had done in the past. When we first got together, our nonstop sex sessions were the stuff of legend, and we could hardly keep our hands off each other. I was confident that our sex life was anything but boring. But, Blake was just as quick to point out that our last truly adventurous tryst had been years before. As much as I hated to admit it, the sad fact was, he was right. He stopped short of saying we were in a rut, but I read between the lines. Adventure and lust had been replaced by comfort and our daily routine, which sadly didn’t have much room for sex. I always thought it was just a natural part of being together for a long time. I didn’t want to admit that I wasn’t all that thrilled about our bedroom life either, but in my heart I knew. He didn’t say anything more that night, but his words had sent me on a mission. And, that mission was never to be boring in bed again. Blake didn’t know it then, but he had unleashed a monster. I hit every adult toy and video shop in a nearly fifty-mile radius in search of the ticket to sexy, smutty bliss. Books, DVDs, toys; you name it, I bought it. We’d tried more positions from the Kama Sutra than I knew existed and came away with more than a few pulled muscles. One position, called the “pair of tongs,” nearly put us both in the emergency room. Some of the toys I picked up scared Blake, but he enjoyed the beautiful glass dildo I purchased almost as much as I did. We rented and watched all kinds of porn, and not just the kind with “women-friendly” plots and stories. Blake was stoked at first and happily shared his love of hot girl-on-girl action with me. But, soon he found that he preferred to watch most of it alone, like he always had before. The DVDs now sat in a pile by the small television on the dresser, neither of us watching them at all.

• From Best Erotic Romance

  Books, DVDs, toys; you name it, I bought it. We’d tried more positions from the Kama Sutra than I knew existed and came away with more than a few pulled muscles. One position, called the “pair of tongs,” nearly put us both in the emergency room. Some of the toys I picked up scared Blake, but he enjoyed the beautiful glass dildo I purchased almost as much as I did. We rented and watched all kinds of porn, and not just the kind with “women-friendly” plots and stories. Blake was stoked at first and happily shared his love of hot girl-on-girl action with me. But, soon he found that he preferred to watch most of it alone, like he always had before. The DVDs now sat in a pile by the small television on the dresser, neither of us watching them at all. Our foray into role-playing took longer and didn’t really take hold until after a particularly good time at a Halloween party. I had never found Dracula sexy before, but Blake convinced me to join him in my sister’s guest room, and he turned me from a sexy kitty to a kitty in heat in no time flat. After that night, I bought more outfits to act out fantasies of all types. I chose the naughty nurse; Blake had a thing for lady cops, which we managed to accomplish with the help of a fake nightstick and the back seat of our car on a deserted dirt road. It had all been passionate and fun and, I thought, completely worth it. There wasn’t a boring night of sex in months, and we both seemed to be enjoying the ride. The dominatrix fantasy was mostly my idea, but Blake seemed more than a little interested. The outfit was the most expensive one yet, but I relished putting it on and the power I felt holding the whip was undeniable. I had hoped that Blake would be a good little submissive, but his willful eyes left me no choice but to reach over and untie him. “I’m sorry, Blakey. I thought this would be fun, but if you don’t want to do it, maybe we can save it for another time.” After I freed him, I felt even more foolish in my getup than I did before. He rubbed his wrists, and I moved off the bed to change out of my new personae. Blake shook his head and grabbed my arm to pull me back down next to him. “Daisy, I’m sorry. I really am. But, I don’t know. Do you think we could just have sex tonight?” “We were going to have sex, Blake. That was the point of this whole thing.” He stared at me until I looked up, embarrassment making my cheeks flush. “No. I mean sex. Like we used to have.

• From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)

  Wayne looked considerably older. The film subsequently fell into complete obscurity. Soon the once-bustling studio was losing substantial sums, and in 1955, with stockholders furious at his mismanagement, Hughes sold RKO to the General Tire Company. In the 1950s and early ’60s, the U.S. military decided to adapt some of its fighting philosophy to the times. To wage war in places like Vietnam it needed helicopters, including a light observation helicopter to help in reconnaissance. The army searched out potential manufacturers and in 1961 selected two of them that had submitted the best proposals, rejecting the design of Hughes’s second aircraft company, which he had spun off from Hughes Tool (the original version of Hughes Aircraft was now run completely independently from Hughes himself). Hughes refused to accept this setback. His publicity team went on a massive lobbying campaign, wining and dining army brass, much as they had done some twenty years earlier with the photo-reconnaissance planes, spending money lavishly. The campaign was a success and the Hughes entry was now in the running along with the other two. The army decided that the company that came in with the best price would win. The price Hughes submitted surprised the military—it was so low it seemed impossible for the company to make any money on the manufacture of the helicopters. It seemed clear that his strategy was to lose money on the initial production in order to win the auction, get the contract, and then raise the price on subsequent orders. In 1965 the army finally awarded the contract to Hughes, an incredible coup for a company that had had so little success in airplane production. If they were made well and on time, the army could potentially order thousands of helicopters, and Hughes could use this as a springboard into the production of commercial helicopters, an expanding business. As the Vietnam War heated up, the army was certain to increase its order and Hughes would reap the bonanza, but as they waited for the delivery of the first helicopters, those who had awarded the contract to Hughes began to panic: the company was falling way behind the schedule they had agreed upon, and so they launched an investigation to find out what was going on. To their horror, there seemed to be no organized production line. The plant was too small to handle such an order. The details were all wrong—the drawings were unprofessional, the tools inadequate, and there were too few skilled workers on site. It was as if the company had no experience in designing planes and was trying to figure it out as it went. It was the exact same predicament as with the photo-reconnaissance planes, which only a few in the military could remember. It was clear that Hughes had not learned a single lesson from the earlier fiasco. As they now could predict, the helicopters only trickled in. Feeling desperate, army brass decided to conduct a new auction for the

• From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)

  from their parents—love, attention, material possessions. As they get older, everything tends to remind them of what they didn’t get. They go through life resenting this and wanting others to give them things without their having to ask. They are constantly on guard—are you paying them attention, do you respect them, are you giving them what they paid for? Being somewhat irritable and touchy, they inevitably push people away, which makes them even more sensitive. At some point they start to have a look of perpetual disappointment. You will see in their life a pattern of many falling-outs with people, but they will always see themselves as the wronged party. Do not ever inadvertently insult such a type. They have a long memory and can spend years getting back at you. If you can recognize the type early enough, it’s better to avoid them, as they will inevitably make you feel guilty for something. The Drama Magnet: They will draw you in with their exciting presence. They have unusual energy and stories to tell. Their features are animated and they can be quite witty. They are fun to be around, until the drama turns ugly. As children, they learned that the only way to get love and attention that lasted was to enmesh their parents in their troubles and problems, which had to be large enough to engage the parents emotionally over time. This became a habit, their way of feeling alive and wanted. Most people shrink from any kind of confrontation, but they seem to live for it. As you get to know them better, you hear more stories of bickering and battles in their life, but they manage to always position themselves as the victim. You must realize that their greatest need is to get their hooks into you by any means possible. They will embroil you in their drama to the point that you will feel guilty for disengaging. It is best to recognize them as early as possible, before you become enmeshed and dragged down. Examine their past for evidence of the pattern and run for the hills if you suspect you are dealing with such a type. The Big Talker: You are impressed by their ideas, the projects that they are thinking about. They need help, they need backers, and you are sympathetic, but step back for a moment and examine their record for signs of past achievements or anything tangible. You might be dealing with a type that is not overtly dangerous but can prove maddening and waste your valuable time. In essence, these people are ambivalent. On the one hand they are secretly afraid of the effort and responsibility that go with translating their ideas into action. On the other hand, they crave attention and power. The two sides go to war within them, but the anxious part inevitably wins out and they slip away at the last moment. They come up with some

• From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)

  not assertive enough. She decided she needed to voice her opinion to one of the most powerful production chiefs on the MGM lot, Irving Thalberg. Little did she realize that Thalberg viewed this as impudence and that he was vindictive by nature. He therefore cast her in a Western, knowing that was the last thing she wanted and that such a fate was a dead end for many an actress. Joan had learned her lesson and decided to embrace her fate. She made herself love the genre. She became an expert rider. She read up on the Old West and became fascinated by its folklore. If that’s what it took to get ahead, she decided to become the leading actress of Westerns. At the very least this would expand her acting skills. This became her lifelong attitude toward work and the supreme challenges an actress faced in Hollywood, where careers were generally very short. Every setback was a chance to grow and develop. In 1946 twenty-year-old Malcolm Little (later known as Malcolm X) began serving an eight-to-ten-year prison sentence for burglary. Prison generally has the effect of hardening the criminal and narrowing his already narrow view of the world. Instead, Malcolm decided to reassess his life. He began to spend time in the prison library and fell in love with books and learning. As he saw it now, prison afforded him the best possible means of changing himself and his attitude toward life. With so much time on his hands, he could study and earn himself a degree. He could develop the discipline he had always been missing. He could train himself to become an expert speaker. He embraced the experience without any bitterness and emerged stronger than ever. Once he left prison, he saw any difficulty, large or small, as a means to test and toughen himself. Although adversity and pain are generally beyond your control, you have the power to determine your response and the fate that comes from that. How to view yourself: As we get older, we tend to place limits on how far we can go in life. Over the years we internalize the criticisms and doubts of others. By accepting what we think to be the limits of our intelligence and creative powers, we create a self-fulfilling dynamic. They become our limits. You do not need to be so humble and self-effacing in this world. Such humility is not a virtue but is rather a value that people promote to help keep you down. Whatever you are doing now, you are in fact capable of much more, and by thinking that, you will create a very different dynamic. In ancient times, many great leaders, such as Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar, felt that they were descended from gods and part divine. Such self-belief would translate into high levels of confidence that others would feed off and recognize. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy. You do not need to indulge in such grandiose

• From Best Erotic Romance

  My friend Teresa was looking in the cabinet for some glasses. “Wow, listen to that wind howl. I’m surprised we still have power. Ah, here’s some appropriate stemware!” She’d found some glasses that had, at some point in the distant past, held tiny shrimp in bland cocktail sauce. “The fine crystal!” Her mood was chipper despite our predicament. Of course her optimistic outlook is one of the reasons I’d invited her along. She’s fun to be around, and right now, I needed some fun more than anything. I stood at the stove, stirring occasionally, keeping watch so the macaroni didn’t boil over. This wasn’t what I’d wanted to be doing tonight. I should be all gussied up in my new red dress and partying till dawn at the fancy beach house my filthy rich, bachelor brother-in-law Greg owns, dining on lobster and gourmet Whoopie pies. At least we had the good champagne that Teresa had insisted on bringing. This was all my idea, this trip. A real step outside of my comfort zone. Our comfort zone. Every year Greg invited Tim and me to come to his place for New Year’s Eve, and every year we found some reason not to go. Or I should say, Tim found a reason. He was never really clear on why he didn’t want to. I suspected some sort of sibling rivalry, since Greg lived in a $2 million architect-designed creation overlooking the ocean, and we just had a dull, suburban condo. Oh, and this little lake cabin, which had been in Tim’s family for decades. It wasn’t anything fancy; it didn’t even really have any character. Very utilitarian. The downstairs consisted of one large room with a small kitchen in one corner and a woodstove in the other. A sofa bed, coffee table along one wall, and a small round table for eating at along the other. Under the stairs to the loft was a bathroom with a stall shower. The loft was open to below and was basically just a floor. We used an inflatable mattress when we stayed up there. So most New Year’s we’d stay home, or maybe go out with some of his office buddies and their wives, a boring crowd if there ever was one. I was tired of it. I’d hit my forties, our daughter was at college, my job was dull, and I was ready for something. But what kind of something? This year I accepted Greg’s invitation before Tim had a chance to come up with an excuse. He’d been a little perturbed, and then doubly perturbed when I told him I was inviting Teresa. “Don’t tell me you’re trying to set Greg up with her. You’re not, are you?”

• From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)

  seamstress. The school was in a small town, and as she explored it she quickly discovered a new passion to pursue, the theater. She loved everything about it—the costumes, the sets, the performers in makeup. It was a world of transformation, where somebody could become anybody. Now all she wanted was to be an actress and make her name in the theater. She took the stage name Coco and she tried everything—acting, singing, and dancing. She had a lot of energy and charisma, but she realized quickly enough that she lacked the talent for the kind of success she desired. Coming to terms with this, she soon hit upon a new dream. Many of the actresses who could not make a living from their work had become courtesans who were supported by wealthy lovers. Such women had enormous wardrobes, could go where they pleased, and, although they were shunned by good society, they were not shackled with some despotic husband. As luck would have it, one of the young men who enjoyed her on the stage, Etienne Balsan, invited her to stay in his nearby château. He had inherited a family fortune and lived a life of total leisure. Gabrielle, now known as Coco to one and all, accepted the offer. The château was filled with courtesans who floated in and out from all over Europe. Some of them were famous. They were all beautiful and worldly. It was a relatively simple life that centered on riding horses in the country, then lavish parties in the evening. The class differences were noticeable. Whenever aristocrats or important people came to the château, women like Coco were to eat with the servants and make themselves scarce. With nothing to do and feeling restless yet again, she began to analyze herself and the future ahead of her. Her ambitions were great, but she was always searching for something beyond her grasp, continually dreaming about a future that was just not possible. At first it was the palaces in the romance novels, then it was a grand life on the stage, becoming another Sarah Bernhardt. Now her latest dream was just as absurd. The great courtesans were all voluptuous, beautiful women. Coco looked more like a boy. She had no curves and was not a classic beauty. It was more her presence and energy that charmed men, but that would not last. She always wanted what other people had, imagining it contained some hidden treasure. Even when it came to other women and their boyfriends or husbands, her greatest desire was to steal the man away, which she had done on several occasions. But whenever she got what she wanted, including the boyfriend or the life in a château, she inevitably felt disappointed by the reality. It was a mystery what in the end could satisfy her. Then one day, without thinking of what exactly she was up to, she wandered into Balsan’s bedroom and pilfered some of his clothes.

• From Best Erotic Romance

  Sophie sighed. Justin had been her eighth lover, although he’d been her first for a few of the more esoteric sexual practices most fairly adventurous couples enjoyed on occasion: back-door sex, light bondage, the occasional pearl necklace. Yet the timeless experience she longed for—a first night of profound erotic transformation in the arms of the man she loved deeply—was a pleasure she could never know. “Hey.” Startled from her Victorian era reverie, she looked up to meet her fiancé’s twinkling blue eyes. “Good morning, Mr. Phillips. You look happy.” “I am. Today’s the happiest day of my life.” “Why?” Sophie asked. Still half-lost in her musings, she was genuinely surprised by his answer. “Silly. Because I’m marrying the most wonderful, beautiful woman in the whole world.” Oh, right, speaking of our wedding… “Aunt Sophie!” Elena’s four-year-old daughter, Madison, burst into the room and rushed over to the bed. “You’re getting married today.” “We are. And you’re going to be the best flower girl ever,” Justin said in the perfect avuncular tone, warm but not condescending. He’d be a great father, Sophie thought with a pang of regret. “My dress is so pretty. I can’t wait to see yours.” The little girl was starting to crawl in bed with them when Elena appeared and led her daughter back toward the guest room. She gave Sophie a sly look. “I hope she didn’t disturb you. By the way, Mom and Dad said they’d come over from the hotel by eight. The appointment with the hairdresser is at nine, right?” “Yeah,” Sophie said weakly, that now-familiar dread closing around her ribcage like a corset. She might not be a real Victorian bride, but apparently her sex life was still to be molded by forces beyond her control. If she was making a terrible mistake, it was too late to turn back now. The day went by so fast, Sophie almost forgot she was making a mistake. The wedding ceremony in the garden brought her to tears, but not because she was depressed about the upcoming drought in her bedroom. There was something strangely moving about declaring her love for Justin in front of so many beaming, overdressed people who really seemed to wish them the best in their life together. With the whirl of the reception and the after-party back at the house, the day slipped into evening. It was six o’clock before they managed to drive off to the charming bed-and-breakfast they’d booked for the first night of their honeymoon. Only then, when Justin scooped her up and carried her over the threshold of their wine country cottage, did she remember this night was the beginning of the end of her erotic life. Yet, far from being tired or disinterested, Justin immediately deposited her, with a meaningful wink, right in the middle of the four-poster bed. Then he stretched out beside her, pulling her close. “I’ve been looking forward to this part of the ceremony all day.”

• From Best Erotic Romance

  It’s so great that I tricked myself into thinking I had to marry him to keep having these mind-blowing orgasms for the rest of my life. Now I realize that not only can we keep fucking like wild animals without the benefit of a stupid piece of paper, but statistics suggest that we’ll have better sex without it. But trust me, the kind of bonks Justin and I regularly indulge in are well worth celebrating openly with friends and family. So please enjoy the grilled salmon lunch and the salsa dancing and maybe you can snatch a little afternoon delight yourself in the gardener’s shed or the bamboo grove.” Sophie giggled quietly. If only she could be so honest. Honesty was a good thing. Except the kind of honesty she got from her girlfriends at her bachelorette party two nights before. The ladies were on their second pitcher of sangria when her college roommate, Ashlyn, started in on the topic of married sex. “Wedding nights sure aren’t what they used to be. Sean and I were so exhausted after all the festivities, he could barely haul me over the threshold of the honeymoon suite, and then we both fell fast asleep on this great big fancy bed. Of course, the morning after was all the better since we were so well rested. I love daytime sex, but sometimes I wonder if the nap afterward isn’t the best part.” The other women, all except Sophie, chuckled knowingly. Nina, her best friend all through high school, leaned close. “Sex definitely loses its edge once it’s legal, but Jasper and I try to get away for the weekend once a month or so. Then I pretend we’re having an illicit affair, and we don’t get out of bed until we’re chased from the room by the maid.” The other women exchanged sly glances and murmured approval. “You definitely have to work to keep things spicy,” her friend Megan added. “But I really like the closeness, too. Marriage really changed things with Brian. It’s funny but we can get buzzed just lying in each other’s arms and planning home improvements.” “The real change comes after you have kids. We don’t do it nearly as often, and we have to be very quiet, but our bond is deeper, more spiritual,” added her other college friend, Jenny. Sophie’s older sister, Elena, nodded and smiled. Sophie, who had been pleasantly buzzed from the wine until a moment before, slumped down in her chair. “Tell me the truth. Am I giving up hot sex forever by marrying Justin?” “Justin’s a great guy, Sophie, you definitely want a commitment so he doesn’t slip away,” Ashlyn said, her expression solemn. “And there’s more to your relationship than sex, right?” At the time Sophie nodded. Of course there was more to their relationship.

• From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)

  Galeazzo had chosen for her was Girolamo Riario, the thirty-year-old nephew of Pope Sixtus IV, a marriage that would forge a valuable alliance between Rome and Milan. As part of the arrangement, the pope purchased the city of Imola, in Romagna, which the Sforzas had taken decades before, christening the new couple the Count and Countess of Imola. Later the pope would add the nearby town of Forlì to their possessions, giving them control of a very strategically located part of northeastern Italy, just south of Venice. In her initial encounters with him, Caterina’s husband seemed a most unpleasant man. He was moody, self-absorbed, and high- strung. He appeared interested in her only for sex and could not wait for her to come of age. Fortunately, he continued to live in Rome and she stayed in Milan. But a few years later some disgruntled noblemen in Milan murdered her beloved father, and the power of the Sforzas seemed in jeopardy. Her position as the marriage pawn solidifying the partnership with Rome was now more important than ever. She quickly installed herself in Rome. There she would have to play the exemplary wife and keep on the good side of her husband. But the more she saw of Girolamo, the less she respected him. He was a hothead, making enemies wherever he turned. She had not imagined that a man could be so weak, and compared with her father he failed by every measure. She turned her attention to the pope. She worked hard to gain his favor and that of his courtiers. Caterina was now a beautiful young woman with blond hair, a novelty in Rome. She ordered the most elaborate gowns to be sent from Milan. She made sure to never be seen wearing the same outfit twice. If she sported a turban with a long veil, it suddenly became the latest craze. She reveled in the attention she received as the most fashionable woman in Rome, Botticelli using her as a model for some of his greatest paintings. Being so well read and cultivated, she was the delight of the artists and writers in town, and the Romans began to warm up to her. Within a few years, however, everything unraveled. Her husband instigated a feud with one of the leading families in Italy, the Colonnas. Then in 1484 the pope suddenly died, and without his protection Caterina and her husband were in grave danger. The Colonnas were plotting their revenge. The Romans hated Girolamo. And it was almost a certainty that the new pope would be a friend of the Colonnas, in which case Caterina and her husband would lose everything, including the towns of Forlì and Imola. Considering the weak position of her own family in Milan, the situation began to look desperate. Until a new pope was elected, Girolamo was still the captain of the papal armies, now stationed just outside Rome. For days Caterina watched her husband, who was paralyzed with fear and

• From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)

  had followed Johnson’s senatorial campaign and had heard him exclaim numerous times that he was a friend of the farmer. Here was his chance to prove it. The Agriculture Committee would be a perfect fit. Johnson could not hide his displeasure and squirmed uncomfortably in his chair. “And then, Lyndon,” Connally concluded, “after you’ve been in the Senate for a while, then you get on the Foreign Relations or Finance Committee, and render a real public service.” And by “for a while” Connally meant a good twelve to twenty years, the usual time it took for any senator to amass enough influence. It was called seniority and that was how the game was played. It had taken Connally himself nearly twenty years to get his plum committee positions. Over the next few weeks, word quickly spread among senators that Johnson was someone to keep an eye on, a potential hothead. And so it was a pleasant surprise when many of them saw and met him for the first time, after he was officially inaugurated. He was not at all what they had expected. He was the picture of politeness, and very deferential. He would often come to visit them in their offices. He would announce himself to the secretary in the outer office, then patiently wait there until called in, sometimes for an hour. He didn’t seem bothered by this—he busied himself by reading or taking notes. Once inside, he’d ask the senator about his wife and family or his favorite sports team—he had clearly done his homework on the senator in question. He could be quite self-deprecating. He’d often first introduce himself as “Landslide Lyndon,” everyone knowing he had won his Senate seat by the slimmest of margins. Mostly, however, he came to talk business and get advice. He’d ask a question or two about some bill or bit of senatorial procedure and would listen with a focus that was striking and charming, almost like a child. His large brown eyes would stay fixed on the senator in question, and with his chin resting on his hand, he would occasionally nod and every now and then ask another question. The senators could tell he was paying deep attention because invariably he would act on their advice or repeat their very words to someone else, always crediting the senator who had spoken them. He would leave with a gracious thank-you for their time and for the invaluable education they had provided. This was not the spirited hothead they had heard so much about, and the contrast redounded to his credit. The senators saw him most often on the Senate floor, and unlike any other member of the institution, he attended every session and sat almost the whole time at his desk. He took copious notes. He wanted to learn everything about senatorial procedure—a dull affair, but one that seemed to captivate him. He was far, however, from being a dullard. When senators encountered him in the hallway or in

• From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)

  performed that mocked the monarchy in the most brazen manner. And all of those majestic symbols and ceremonies of the monarchy that had remained relatively unchanged were beginning to seem rather empty, masks with nothing behind them. Courtiers no longer really understood what they were doing, or why, when they engaged in their elaborate rituals in company with the king. The paintings, statues, and fountains ornamented with mythological figures were as beautiful as ever, but they were simply seen as surface pieces of art, not as indications of a deep connection to France’s glorious past. All of these signs were subtle and disparate. It was hard to connect them all to any kind of trend, let alone a revolution. They could pass as novelties, new pastimes for a bored nation, without any underlying meaning. But then came the worsening crisis in the late 1780s, and suddenly these separate examples of disenchantment began to combine into an undeniable force. The price of bread had risen, as well as the cost of living, for all French subjects. As the discontent spread, the nobility and the bourgeoisie smelled weakness in the king and demanded more power. Now the king could not ignore what was happening, and at the Estates General the loss of respect and the disenchantment were all too visible to him in the behavior of the Third Estate. Louis, however, could only view these events through the lens of the divine monarchy that he had inherited and clung to so desperately. These French subjects who were disrespecting and disobeying his absolute rule must be godless individuals, and only a noisy minority. To disobey his word was tantamount to sacrilege. If such people could not be persuaded by the symbols of the glorious past, he would have to use force to make the past and the traditions prevail. But once something has lost its spell and no longer enchants, no amount of force can bring it back to life. And as he rode in that carriage in October of 1789 that carried him away forever from Versailles and the past, all he could see were people who were not his subjects but aliens of some sort. He had to include Danton in such a group. At his execution, he addressed the crowd as if he were still the king, forgiving them their sins. The crowd instead saw just a human, stripped of all his previous glory, no better than they were. When Georges-Jacques Danton looked out at the same world as the king, he saw something quite different. Unlike the king, he was not timid or insecure but the opposite. He had no inner need to rely upon the past to prop him up. He had been educated by liberal priests who had instilled in him Enlightenment ideas. And at the age of fifteen, at the coronation he caught a fleeting glimpse of the future, intuiting for a moment how empty the monarchy and its symbols had

• From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)

  logo of interlocking C ’s. It looked like nothing else out there. To launch the perfume, she decided upon a subliminal campaign. She began by spraying the scent everywhere in her store in Paris. It filled the air. Women kept asking what it was and she would feign ignorance. She would then slip bottles of the perfume, without labels, into the bags of her wealthiest and best-connected clients. Soon women began to talk of this strange new scent, rather haunting and impossible to identify as any known flower. The word of yet another Chanel creation began to spread like wildfire and women were soon showing up at her store begging to buy the new scent, which she now began to place discreetly on shelves. In the first few weeks they could not stock enough. Nothing like this had ever happened in the industry, and it would go on to become the most successful perfume in history, making her a fortune. Over the next two decades the house of Chanel reigned supreme in the fashion world, but during World War II she flirted with Nazism, staying in Paris during the Nazi occupation and visibly siding with the occupiers. She had closed her store at the beginning of the war, and by the end of the war she had been thoroughly disgraced in the eyes of the French by her political sympathies. Aware and perhaps ashamed, she fled to Switzerland, where she would remain in self-imposed exile. By 1953, however, she felt the need not only for a comeback but for something even greater. Although she was now seventy, she had become disgusted at the latest trends in fashion, which she felt had returned to the old constrictions and fussiness of women’s clothing that she had sought to destroy. Perhaps this also signaled a return to a more subservient role for women. To Chanel it would be the ultimate challenge—after some fourteen years out of business, she was now largely forgotten. No one thought of her anymore as a trendsetter. She would have to start almost completely over. Her first move was to encourage rumors that she was planning a return, but she gave no interviews. She wanted to stimulate talk and excitement but surround herself with mystery. Her new show debuted in 1954, and an enormous crowd filled her store to watch it, mostly out of curiosity. Almost immediately there was a sense of disappointment. The clothes were mostly a rehash of her 1930s styles with a few new touches. The models were all Chanel look- alikes and mimicked her way of walking. To the audience, Chanel seemed a woman hopelessly locked in a past that would never return. The clothes seemed passé and the press pilloried her, dredging up at the same time her Nazi associations during the war. For almost any designer this would have been a devastating blow, but she appeared remarkably unfazed by it all. As always, she had a

• From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)

  Wanting to cultivate a more public presence, Eisner decided to revive the old The Wonderful World of Disney , an hourlong television show from the fifties and sixties hosted by Walt Disney himself. This time Eisner would be the host. He was not a natural in front of the camera, but he felt audiences would grow to like him. He could be comforting to children, like Walt himself. In fact, he began to feel the two of them were somehow magically connected, as if he were more than just the head of the corporation but rather the natural son and successor to Walt Disney himself. Despite all his success, however, the old restlessness returned. He needed a new venture, a bigger challenge, and soon he found it. The Walt Disney Company had plans to create a new theme park in Europe. The last one to open, Tokyo Disneyland in 1983, had been a success. Those in charge of theme parks had settled upon two potential sites for the new Disneyland—one near Barcelona, Spain, the other near Paris. Although the Barcelona site made more economic sense, since the weather there was much better, Eisner chose the French site. This was going to be more than a theme park. This was going to be a cultural statement. He would hire the best architects in the world. Unlike the usual fiberglass castles at the other theme parks, at Euro Disney—as it came to be known—the castles would be built out of pink stone and feature handcrafted stained-glass windows with scenes from various fairy tales. It would be a place even snobby French elites would be excited to visit. Eisner loved architecture, and here he could be a modern-day Medici. As the years went by, the cost of Euro Disney mounted. Letting go of his usual obsession with the bottom line, Eisner felt that if he built it right, the crowds would come and the park would eventually pay for itself. But when it finally opened as planned in 1992, it quickly became clear that Eisner had not understood French tastes and vacation habits. The French were not so willing to wait in line for rides, particularly in bad weather. As in the other theme parks, no beer or wine was served on the premises, and that seemed like sacrilege to the French. The hotel rooms were too expensive for a family to stay there more than a night. And despite all the attention to detail, the pink stone castles still looked like kitschy versions of the originals. Attendance was only half of what Eisner had anticipated. The debts Disney had incurred in the construction had ballooned, and the money coming in from visitors could not even service the interest on them. It was shaping up to be a disaster, the first ever in his glorious career. As he finally came to terms with this reality, he decided that Frank Wells was to blame. It was his job to oversee the financial

• From Best Erotic Romance

  Now that the moment had finally arrived, he seemed underwhelmed, and I was starting to sweat in the tight-fitting black plastic. He rolled his eyes and sighed, his back collapsing against the bed, his muscles loose. I was starting to get discouraged. But, I pressed on, banging my pink leather riding crop against my open hand. Blake didn’t look scared, and there was absolutely no desire in his eyes. My back, which I had been holding straight in an attempt to look authoritative and sexy, started to droop. None of this was going how I thought it would. “Blake, I thought you were into this, what is the problem?” He squirmed against his ties, but not in the way I was hoping. He tried to sit up but couldn’t, and had to settle for an odd, reclined position that almost made me laugh. “I don’t know Daisy, I just don’t really feel like it tonight.” I sat on the edge of the bed and dropped my fetching whip on the floor. My knee-high patent leather boots were staring to hurt my feet, and I felt more ridiculous than I ever had before. “This is all your fault, you know that Blake!” “I know, baby. I know.” It was an offhand remark after a silly night of playing the game “I Never” with some friends. It wasn’t meant to be an insult, or at least that is what he said after the fact. There was no maliciousness in his words; he’d spoken them matter-of- factly as he pulled the car into the driveway. “I think our sex life has gotten boring.” I didn’t necessarily disagree with him, but I was quick to point out all the crazy things we had done in the past. When we first got together, our nonstop sex sessions were the stuff of legend, and we could hardly keep our hands off each other. I was confident that our sex life was anything but boring. But, Blake was just as quick to point out that our last truly adventurous tryst had been years before. As much as I hated to admit it, the sad fact was, he was right. He stopped short of saying we were in a rut, but I read between the lines. Adventure and lust had been replaced by comfort and our daily routine, which sadly didn’t have much room for sex. I always thought it was just a natural part of being together for a long time. I didn’t want to admit that I wasn’t all that thrilled about our bedroom life either, but in my heart I knew. He didn’t say anything more that night, but his words had sent me on a mission. And, that mission was never to be boring in bed again. Blake didn’t know it then, but he had unleashed a monster. I hit every adult toy and video shop in a nearly fifty-mile radius in search of the ticket to sexy, smutty bliss.

• From Best Erotic Romance

  Blake was stoked at first and happily shared his love of hot girl-on-girl action with me. But, soon he found that he preferred to watch most of it alone, like he always had before. The DVDs now sat in a pile by the small television on the dresser, neither of us watching them at all. Our foray into role-playing took longer and didn’t really take hold until after a particularly good time at a Halloween party. I had never found Dracula sexy before, but Blake convinced me to join him in my sister’s guest room, and he turned me from a sexy kitty to a kitty in heat in no time flat. After that night, I bought more outfits to act out fantasies of all types. I chose the naughty nurse; Blake had a thing for lady cops, which we managed to accomplish with the help of a fake nightstick and the back seat of our car on a deserted dirt road. It had all been passionate and fun and, I thought, completely worth it. There wasn’t a boring night of sex in months, and we both seemed to be enjoying the ride. The dominatrix fantasy was mostly my idea, but Blake seemed more than a little interested. The outfit was the most expensive one yet, but I relished putting it on and the power I felt holding the whip was undeniable. I had hoped that Blake would be a good little submissive, but his willful eyes left me no choice but to reach over and untie him. “I’m sorry, Blakey. I thought this would be fun, but if you don’t want to do it, maybe we can save it for another time.” After I freed him, I felt even more foolish in my getup than I did before. He rubbed his wrists, and I moved off the bed to change out of my new personae. Blake shook his head and grabbed my arm to pull me back down next to him. “Daisy, I’m sorry. I really am. But, I don’t know. Do you think we could just have sex tonight?” “We were going to have sex, Blake. That was the point of this whole thing.” He stared at me until I looked up, embarrassment making my cheeks flush. “No. I mean sex. Like we used to have. Just you and me, on our bed. You know, sex. I hate to use the word normal, but it somehow seems appropriate.” “You mean boring sex?” “God, fuck! I wish I’d never said that. That’s what all this has been about, hasn’t it? Because I said we were boring in bed.” “No.” Blake didn’t say a word, but he made it clear with his eyes that he knew I was lying. “Okay, fine Blake. Fine. Yes. I was trying to make our sex life less boring. You seemed to enjoy it. What’s changed?” “Nothing. And, I did like most of it.

• From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)

  that are often mysterious later on to person A. When it comes to our behavior in these situations, we never really completely understand what is happening. Too much of our unconscious is at play, and we have no rational access to its processes. But the eminent psychologist Carl Jung—who analyzed over the course of his very long career thousands of men and women with stories of painful love affairs—offered perhaps the most profound explanation for what happens to us when we fall in love. According to Jung, we are actually possessed in such moments. He gave the entity (person B) that takes hold of us the name anima (for the male) and animus (for the female). This entity exists in our unconscious but comes to the surface when a person of the opposite sex fascinates us. The following is the origin of the anima and the animus , and how they operate. We all possess hormones and genes of the opposite sex. These contrasexual traits are in the minority (to a greater or lesser extent, depending on the individual), but they are within us all and they form a part of our character. Equally significant is the influence on our psyche of the parent of the opposite sex, from whom we absorb feminine or masculine traits. In our earliest years we were completely open and susceptible to the influence of others. The parent of the opposite sex was our first encounter with someone dramatically different from us. As we related to their alien nature, much of our personality was formed in response, becoming more dimensional and multifaceted. (With the parent of the same sex there is often a level of comfort and immediate identification that does not require the same adaptive energy). For instance, small boys are often comfortable expressing emotions and traits that they’ve learned from the mother, such as overt affection, empathy, and sensitivity. Small girls, conversely, are often comfortable expressing traits they’ve learned from the father, such as aggression, boldness, intellectual rigor, and physical prowess. Each child may also naturally possess these opposite- gender traits in him- or herself. In addition, each parent will also have a shadow side that the child must assimilate or deal with. For instance, a mother may be narcissistic rather than empathetic, and a father may be domineering or weak rather than protective and strong. Children must adapt to this. In any event, the boy and the girl will internalize the positive and the negative qualities of the parent of the opposite sex in ways that are unconscious and profound. And the association with the parent of the opposite sex will be charged with all kinds of emotions—physical and sensual connections, tremendous feelings of excitement, fascination, or disappointment at what one was not given. Soon, however, comes a critical period in our early lives in which we must separate from our parents and forge our identity. And the simplest and most powerful way to create this identity is around

• From The Laws of Human Nature (2018)

  business; she would work harder than all of them; she would reduce expenditures for the court, sacrificing her own income in the process; and all activity was to be directed toward lifting England out of the hole it had fallen into. She showed early on her superior knowledge of the finances of the country and the tough side of herself in any negotiation. Upon occasion, she would flash her anger if a minister seemed to be furthering a personal agenda, and such outbursts could be quite intimidating. Mostly, though, she was warm and empathetic, attuned to the various moods of these men. Soon they wanted to please her and win her approval. To not work hard or smart enough could mean isolation and some coldness, and unconsciously they wanted to avoid this. They respected the fact that she lived up to her own high standards. In this way, she slowly placed these ministers into the same position that she had found herself in: needing to gain her trust and respect through their actions. Now, instead of a cabal of conspiring, selfish ministers, the queen had a team working to further her agenda, and the results soon spoke for themselves. By these methods, Elizabeth acquired the credibility she needed, but she made one major mistake—her handling of Mary, Queen of Scots. Elizabeth had become somewhat entitled herself, feeling in this case that she knew better than her ministers and that her personal qualms about executing a fellow queen trumped everything else. She paid a price for this policy, as she felt the people’s respect for her draining away, and it pained her. Her sense of the greater good was what guided her, but in this case the greater good would be served by having Mary executed. She was violating her own principles. It took some time, but she realized her mistake. She tasked the head of her secret service to lure Mary into her most far-reaching conspiracy to get rid of Elizabeth. Now with solid evidence of Mary’s complicity, Elizabeth could take the dreaded step. In the end, going against her own feelings for the sake of the country, in essence admitting her mistake, gained her even more trust from the English. It was the kind of response to public opinion that almost no rulers of the time were capable of. When it came to her foreign rivals, particularly Philip II, Elizabeth was not naive and understood the situation: Nothing she had done had earned her any respect or respite from their endless conspiracies to get rid of her. They disrespected her as an unmarried queen and as a woman who seemed to fear conflict and warfare. She largely ignored all of this and kept to her mission of securing England’s finances. But when the invasion of England seemed imminent, she knew it was time to finally prove herself as the great strategist that she was. She would play on Philip’s underestimating of her craftiness and her toughness as a leader.

• From The History of Christianity II: From the Reformation to the Modern Megachurch (2017)

  217Lecture 22—The Social Gospel õ Rauschenbusch thought his critique of society was in scripture, and had been there since the beginning. The church had simply forgotten it over the centuries as church leaders cast their lot with kings, wealth, and secular power. This is how they’d gone astray and ended up in the wreck of the 20th century. õ Rauschenbusch threw himself into his community work as well as writing books to articulate the theology of the Social Gospel movement. He was skeptical that any list of policy reforms could capture the essence of Jesus’s message. õ In 1912 he wrote: “It is not this thing or that thing that our nation needs, but a new mind and heart, a new conception of the way we all ought to live together, a new conviction about the worth of a human life and the use God wants us to make of our own lives.” POLITICAL FRUITS õ By the early 20 th century, Christian reformers in Britain were playing a role in the expansion of government-funded social services there, but their American colleagues were not enjoying the same success. õ Social Gospelers worked diligently at the local level, serving their immediate communities. They also wrote books and held international conferences that called for reforming the capitalist system and rethinking basic Christian doctrines. õ In North America, they established a network of churches in cities that offered not just worship but social services, health care, employment guidance, and recreational facilities. They also pushed for changes in state and federal law, limits on the workday, and limits on child labor. õ Echoes of the Social Gospel ethos appeared in some national political movements in the United States. The Populists in the American South and West and the Progressive Party took up a broad vision of

• From The History of Christianity II: From the Reformation to the Modern Megachurch (2017)

  õ Some evangelical writers began interpreting the bows and swords of scripture as metaphors for the latest developments in nuclear technology. They said the United Nations was a tool of the Antichrist, and that he would use these kinds of organizations to seek world dominion. õ Events in Israel and the conflicts of the Middle East have always been of interest to premillennialists. Recall that Darby preached that Jews would establish a sovereign nation in Palestine, only to suffer great persecution at the hands of world leaders, leaving a small number of survivors to accept Christ. õ Darby’s followers got very excited in 1948 when the state of Israel was established, and they’ve followed Israeli affairs closely ever since. Israelis have been understandably ambivalent about this interest in their lives, but in general they’ve been savvy about reaching out to American evangelicals. AMERICAN POLITICS õ What happens when we look for evidence for the role of prophecy in evangelical leaders’ political decisions? The evidence is unclear. Consider the Ronald Reagan presidency, when several administration officials were adherents of this theology. Reagan himself was very interested in prophecy. õ In 1983 he told an Israeli lobbyist: “You know, I turn back to your ancient prophets … and the signs foretelling Armageddon, and I find myself wondering if we’re the generation that’s going to see that come about.” Yet he didn’t initiate nuclear war, nor did he go out of his way to befriend Israel. And we now know that Reagan wanted nuclear weapons eliminated. Lecture 24—Apocalyptic Faith in the 1800s and Beyond 239 õ Belief in the coming apocalypse may have encouraged evangelicals to accept nuclear confrontation as part of God’s plan, but very few wanted to help actually bring on Armageddon. Throughout the Cold War, it seems that a different religious fear—the fear of godless communism— united evangelicals and motivated their political action. SUGGESTED READING Boyer, When Time Shall Be No More. Pagels, Revelations. Rowe, God’s Strange Work. QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER ä Why have scripture’s references to the Apocalypse produced such a wide range of interpretation? ä What explains the appeal of William Miller’s and John Nelson Darby’s messages to their followers? ä How have ideas about the end times influenced politics? 240 The History of Christianity II LECTURE 25 THE CHURCH AND THE RUSSIAN REVOLUTION The Russian Revolution of 1917 is a good candidate for the single most cataclysmic event in the history of religion in the 20th century. When Vladimir Lenin’s Bolsheviks emerged victorious after several years of civil war, their communist propaganda claimed that almost overnight, Russia had gone from one of the most religious civilizations in the world to the atheist state of every Marxist’s dreams. But to understand what the revolution meant for Russian religion, this lecture first backtracks and explores the religious landscape generations earlier, then looks at the state of Russian religion after the revolution. 241