Despair

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

Page 133 of 267 · 20 per page

• From The Incendiaries (2018)

  But Jo claimed it was Phoebe who’d first raised questions about Phipps clinic. In the spring, she’d begun asking if they shouldn’t be doing more. Local clinic protests had declined in size. Every few minutes, children died. If they could, for instance, disable abortion facilities, the action would save lives. It would be the rational extension of what they believed. Since no one but John Leal had spoken, to date, with God, Phoebe asked if he’d take the question to Him. Jo didn’t think he would: in general, he’d told them what to do, not the reverse. Jo hadn’t learned what happened next. In mid-April, Jo’s parents, Sybil and Elijah Hilt, had realized that, despite the large allowance she received each month, Jo had drawn extra funds from her trust. Disturbed, suspecting drugs, they drove up to school. While questioning Jo, Sybil had noticed whip marks on the girl’s leg. They disregarded all attempts to explain; against Jo’s will, they’d taken her home, to Darien. She cut her wrists, then was hospitalized. John Leal had rented the upstate cabin to use as a spiritual retreat, starting in June, Jo said. They’d all given their savings to Jejah. Phoebe supplied the most—everything she had, as John Leal pointed out. By then, the group comprised six members, including Eric Cho, the newest recruit. Jo had left the cult before they started using the cabin, but if I tried, I could almost see the place in June. Birch branches gleaming white, like picked bones. They lit bonfires until the sweat flowed into tears. The light tinged the circling trees with blood. They fasted, atoned. Tired bodies ached with hope. Through a haze of smoke, stars smeared like souls fleeing this fallen earth. The night chill pricked Phoebe’s bare arms, as if with pinfeathers, and she felt the rush of flight, lifting up. In that isolated place, the plausible might crack open until she had the revelation she desired, a final, ecstatic fit— But no, she wasn’t the kind to have visions, no more than I’d been. I thought of what she’d said that last night, about acting as if she believed. From the start to the finish, Phoebe’s want of Christ had been based in logic. She wished upon God’s attested promises: the dead alive, a past repealed. This flawed world would pass, yielding to a place of undivided light. Since she lacked real belief, she might have resolved to match His pledge with action, proving the faith she craved. Then, in the final instant, she’d have required but a little hope, a short leap of faith. Soldiers require months of training, years, before they’re fit to battle, while all Phoebe had to do was put a truck in a parking lot. Several minutes’ conviction, and the building falls.

• From The Incendiaries (2018)

  Of course, you’re not, she said. I had to realize what she had lived through. She’d just finished college in Seoul, at the top of the class, when she allowed herself to be trapped. First, she said yes to a proposal. She followed the tradition of moving into a husband’s parents’ house. His relatives bullied the young bride. On dates, he’d been pliant, docile; in this alien house, she was criticized all day long. It was like being a servant, but with less privilege. Maids get paid. By the time she gave birth, she’d had enough. She left with the child. In months, he trailed them to L.A. He pled, full of apologies, but she’d found a job. It paid so well, they’d given up needing him. She toiled, piled cash. It was all for infant Haejin, a girl who’d get the outsize life she’d been denied. But I’ve heard this, I said. No, she said. I hadn’t, not if I believed I could quit. Since I wished to be a pianist, I should make it happen. What I wanted, I’d have. I was the one who’d requested a piano. It had been my idea. I had a gift, she said. It was also an obligation. I’d be lost without the music. – I pulled all the applications to conservatories; accepted at Edwards, I said I would go. But the school also has a piano program, she said. It’s why you applied in the first place. Haejin, they’ll let you in. We hadn’t been in the habit of arguing, but now we couldn’t stop. The fight lasted until April, the night of a cello recital. Though I hadn’t listened to music since Libich, we’d had the tickets since the previous fall. It wasn’t the piano. I’ll be fine, I thought, but then string music filled the hall. I’d have given anything to be able to perform as well as I’d hoped I could. It was true, as she said, that I’d started playing the music on my own. I was so small, at first, that I had to sit on a trunk balanced on top of the piano bench. It lifted me up. Disembodied in the piano’s polished depths, I hurled back and forth like its possessing spirit, shown large, powerful. I’d loved the piano. I still did. It was too bad. I wiped my face; she noticed. She held out a tissue, but I ignored it. I couldn’t admit I’d cried. The cello recital ended. In the parking lot, I insisted I’d drive. I had a license, but she didn’t often let me behind the wheel; this time, she gave in. Maybe she pitied me. She’d tired of fighting. I didn’t ask, and it was the last time we talked. In silence, I drove. I got us a mile from home before I started crying again. Half-blind, I rolled into the opposing lane.

• From The Incendiaries (2018)

  In bars, I left full drinks unattended. Then, I gulped them down. If I failed to be careful, she might notice. She’d have to come back. One night, I put on the shortest dress I owned, and then I sat on a low wall on the edge of campus, legs dangling. Red lights spotted the intersection. I watched the crowd pass, thinking, Pick me up, until someone did. He didn’t have protection. It’s fine, I said. Go ahead. Downtown, in a split-level dive called Levi’s, I fell into conversation with Greg, a local, a high-school dropout in his thirties. I’d first met him because he sold Julian drugs. I went home with Greg, then I let him tie me to his bed. He fucked me through a hole he razored open in my tights. I shared a bottle of gin with him; I felt light-headed, ill, until I woke in a hospital bed. I was brought in throwing up, a nurse explained. No, I’d come in an ambulance. I had a little too much alcohol, but I’d be all right. The hospital had given me fluids. Hush, doll, she said. You’ll be fine. It was late, almost morning. I left the bed when a man behind the partition began yelling. I was still in the previous night’s clothes, though with ankle-length hospital socks covering my feet. Torn tights chafed my crotch. I walked the half-mile home, the sidewalk cold through thin fabric. Mica specks, like felled stars, prickled the stone. But most of it was filth. I avoided broken glass, ripped foil bags. Slicks of fresh dog shit. I picked each step through trash. The sun was rising. I hadn’t been allowed outside, when I was a child, without putting on sun lotion. My mother’s light, cool hands patted protective liquid on my face. She fastened a wide-brim hat beneath my chin, tying the ribbons in a firm knot, loops aligned. Such pains she’d taken, for the little I’d since become. 10. WILL I stayed the night with Phoebe. In the morning, I watched as she slept, netted in white sheets. Nostrils flared with each long inhale. Pearl studs glinted at slim earlobes. Minute, fish-scale veins patterned Phoebe’s eyelids in faint blue. The birthmark speckling a left clavicle, slight indents at both temples—from the start, I wanted Phoebe memorized. In the old-gold light of morning, I had the idea she might have been a wild sea-creature who’d washed onshore, luck’s gift, legs tucked like a mermaid’s tail. I learned to swim before I could walk, she’d said. But I was so involved with the piano, I went three years without using my own pool. It was still early, not quite six. I waited as long as I could; at last, I tried shaking Phoebe awake, but she rolled toward the wall. – I left Platt Hall as a drunk slouched past, the label on his bottle dissolving.

• From The Incendiaries (2018)

  I woke the next morning on the bathroom mat. She’d left the apartment. I went outside, too. I walked until it was night; I called her, leaving messages, apologies I couldn’t finish. What you crying about, pal, a man said, panhandling. Take this soda bottle, drink it all up like Lou Reed, baby. He rattled his plastic cup, and laughed. I knew where she’d be. In three nights, she called back to tell me she’d return home Sunday, at noon, but just to finish moving out. Jejah had a room available. It shouldn’t take long, she said. I’m asking you to stay out of the apartment until I’m done. I don’t want to see you. She hung up. I went out for a walk again. Rain fell, melting winter’s ice. Sidewalks broke, heaved, oozing months-old grit. In this newly liquid world, other natural laws might also prove flexible. Time, I’d learned, was believed to be less sequential than it felt. It could spiral; it frilled. It might well halt. Then, it was the next morning. Night followed, but I still had time. Rivulets sluiced into the gutters, sailing trash, and then it was the Sabbath, almost noon. I waited until past midnight, sitting at the bar at Exhibit, before I returned to the apartment. When I stepped inside, I could tell she’d gone. She’d left the furniture, but bookshelf spaces gaped open. In the closet, stripped hangers clattered. She hadn’t taken the peacock silk wrap I liked, a gift from Julian. It could be a sign: a daedal thread, the implied promise of return. I’d had too much to drink. Stumbling, I went to bed. I opened my eyes, and I’d sprawled in a jut of sunlight, floating in the usual daze of a headache. Not quite conscious, I reached toward Phoebe, and I felt the cold of taut cotton. It was the white sheet, its lip folded on top of the blanket, Phoebe’s side of the bed pulled flat. 29.JOHN LEALHe often prayed, he said, about the old man who leaned on his cane at the clinic exit, eyes lifted. When asked what he was doing, he explained he was counting the souls of slaughtered babies. Rising to the Lord, the old man said. The angel babies rise on high. He was right, John Leal said. I looked up until I saw them, too. Spirits, a long line floating toward the Lord. In each child’s name, praise Him. We’ll devote the revolution to these short lives, and He will, in turn, lift His face upon us.

• From The Incendiaries (2018)

  Since no one but John Leal had spoken, to date, with God, Phoebe asked if he’d take the question to Him. Jo didn’t think he would: in general, he’d told them what to do, not the reverse. Jo hadn’t learned what happened next. In mid-April, Jo’s parents, Sybil and Elijah Hilt, had realized that, despite the large allowance she received each month, Jo had drawn extra funds from her trust. Disturbed, suspecting drugs, they drove up to school. While questioning Jo, Sybil had noticed whip marks on the girl’s leg. They disregarded all attempts to explain; against Jo’s will, they’d taken her home, to Darien. She cut her wrists, then was hospitalized. John Leal had rented the upstate cabin to use as a spiritual retreat, starting in June, Jo said. They’d all given their savings to Jejah. Phoebe supplied the most—everything she had, as John Leal pointed out. By then, the group comprised six members, including Eric Cho, the newest recruit. Jo had left the cult before they started using the cabin, but if I tried, I could almost see the place in June. Birch branches gleaming white, like picked bones. They lit bonfires until the sweat flowed into tears. The light tinged the circling trees with blood. They fasted, atoned. Tired bodies ached with hope. Through a haze of smoke, stars smeared like souls fleeing this fallen earth. The night chill pricked Phoebe’s bare arms, as if with pinfeathers, and she felt the rush of flight, lifting up. In that isolated place, the plausible might crack open until she had the revelation she desired, a final, ecstatic fit— But no, she wasn’t the kind to have visions, no more than I’d been. I thought of what she’d said that last night, about acting as if she believed. From the start to the finish, Phoebe’s want of Christ had been based in logic. She wished upon God’s attested promises: the dead alive, a past repealed. This flawed world would pass, yielding to a place of undivided light. Since she lacked real belief, she might have resolved to match His pledge with action, proving the faith she craved. Then, in the final instant, she’d have required but a little hope, a short leap of faith. Soldiers require months of training, years, before they’re fit to battle, while all Phoebe had to do was put a truck in a parking lot. Several minutes’ conviction, and the building falls. I wondered when they’d learned how much had gone wrong. In Phoebe’s note, she said she watched Phipps clinic collapse. Truck bombs placed, timers set, the others could have made it back to Noxhurst. They reunited on an Edwards rooftop, then opened the wine bottles. He’d have relished the call to celebrate. The building exploded. If they also noticed the whirling lights, police cars rushing toward the site, they wouldn’t have thought much of it.

• From Lady Chatterley's Lover (1928)

  This speech was one of the crucial blows of Connie's life. It killed something in her. She had not been so very keen on Michaelis; till he started it, she did not want him. It was as if she never positively wanted him. But once he had started her, it seemed only natural for her to come to her own crisis with him. Almost she had loved him for it ... almost that night she loved him, and wanted to marry him. Perhaps instinctively he knew it, and that was why he had to bring down the whole show with a smash; the house of cards. Her whole sexual feeling for him, or for any man, collapsed that night. Her life fell apart from his as completely as if he had never existed. And she went through the days drearily. There was nothing now but this empty treadmill of what Clifford called the integrated life, the long living together of two people, who are in the habit of being in the same house with one another. Nothingness! To accept the great nothingness of life seemed to be the one end of living. All the many busy and important little things that make up the grand sum-total of nothingness! CHAPTER VI "Why don't men and women really like one another nowadays?" Connie asked Tommy Dukes, who was more or less her oracle. "Oh, but they do! I don't think since the human species was invented, there has ever been a time when men and women have liked one another as much as they do today. Genuine liking! Take myself ... I really _like_ women better than men; they are braver, one can be more frank with them." Connie pondered this. "Ah, yes, but you never have anything to do with them!" she said. "I? What am I doing but talking perfectly sincerely to a woman at this moment?" "Yes, talking...." "And what more could I do if you were a man, than talk perfectly sincerely to you?" "Nothing perhaps. But a woman...." "A woman wants you to like her and talk to her, and at the same time love her and desire her; and it seems to me the two things are mutually exclusive." "But they shouldn't be!" "No doubt water ought not to be so wet as it is; it overdoes it in wetness. But there it is! I like women and talk to them, and therefore I don't love them and desire them. The two things don't happen at the same time in me." "I think they ought to." "All right. The fact that things ought to be something else than what they are, is not my department." Connie considered this. "It isn't true," she said. "Men can love women and talk to them. I don't see how they can love them _without_ talking, and being friendly and intimate. How can they?"

• From The Incendiaries (2018)

  I’ll say this: I hope so. If I can’t imagine you lit with His fire, it’s possible I’m limited, not you. In the apartment, when I left, I discovered the kidskin journal in which you took notes before Jejah confessions, jotting down what you’d tell them, us. It was stashed behind a pile of books, where Fitz and Hugh, of course, had searched. Soft-leathered, tied with a thong strip, it has the look of a journal. Yet they missed it, a bit of grace I can’t explain. I’ve imagined as I could. I compile what I have of you, parts of it firsthand; the rest, inferred. Details accrue, taking on a living shape. I fill in the clues. I recall what John Leal said, how his shining lies persuaded you. I can’t forget what you said, that I hadn’t even tried to understand. Phoebe, I still don’t think He’s real. I believe that we, in the attempt to live, invented Him. But if I could, I’d ask Him to give you everything. – If you did jump, though. I used to preach that God holds us on a lightweight leash that will stretch to span the miles and years. We imagine ourselves free, but with a flick of His wrist He’ll bring us back to Him again. It takes less than I used to think from this hope of reunion that it’s not, from what I can tell, the truth. I think of the hours you spent in that Olympic pool. You’d turned so strong. Muscle-built. The Hudson, at Hoyt Bridge, isn’t wide. It might have been cold, but not past surviving. It would be such an artful ruse, Phoebe, if this is how you’ll elude pursuit: in having pretended to die. – The months flashed past, into a final Edwards term. I found a roommate, Bilal. He slept in the living room, behind a partition. I told Leigh I should stop wasting her time. Though I avoided the clinic site, I noticed an article about plans to build an office plaza. I thought, at times, I heard the distant drills, reveilles beating like a pulse. I wasn’t sleeping much, but I threw out the pills; I tried to drink less, living to prove I’d changed. I graduated, then I moved to Manhattan. I began a job, a full-time position at the previous summer’s hedge fund. One June morning, as I walked to the train station, I saw Julian. I was lost in thought; by the time I recognized him, he’d passed in front of me, his bulk constrained in a light suit, striding in the opposite direction. Julian, I said. I thought I saw him flinch, but he didn’t respond. He’d have kept walking if I hadn’t said it again, taking his arm. Julian, hello, I said, but the face he showed me might have been a stranger’s. He had on glasses. The reflected sunlight hid his eyes.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  [2 Kin 23:31 ] 19 He did evil in the sight of the LORD , in accordance with everything that Jehoiakim had done. 20 Because of the anger of the LORD these things happened in Jerusalem and Judah, and it [finally] came to the point that He cast them from His presence. And Zedekiah rebelled against the king of Babylon. 2 Kings 25 Nebuchadnezzar Besieges Jerusalem 1 N OW IN the ninth year of Zedekiah’s reign, on the tenth day of the tenth month, Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came, he with all his army, against Jerusalem, and camped against it and built siege works surrounding it. 2 The city came under siege [for nearly two years] until the eleventh year of King Zedekiah. 3 On the ninth day of the fourth month the famine [caused by the siege] was severe in the city; there was no food for the people of the land. 4 Then the city [wall] was broken into [and conquered]; all the men of war fled by night by way of the gate between the two walls by the king’s garden, though the a Chaldeans (Babylonians) were all around the city. And they went by way of the Arabah (the plain of the Jordan). 5 The army of the Chaldeans pursued the king and overtook him in the plains of Jericho. Then his entire army was dispersed from him. 6 So they seized the king (Zedekiah) and brought him to the king of Babylon at Riblah [on the Orontes River], and sentence was passed on him. 7 They slaughtered the sons of Zedekiah before his eyes, then put out the eyes of Zedekiah and bound him [hand and foot] with bronze fetters and brought him to Babylon. [Jer 34:3 ; Ezek 12:13 ] Jerusalem Burned and Plundered 8 On the seventh day of the fifth month in the nineteenth year of King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon, Nebuzaradan, captain of the bodyguard, a servant of the king of Babylon, came to Jerusalem. 9 He burned the house (temple) of the LORD , the king’s house, and all the houses of Jerusalem; every great house he burned down. 10 All the army of the Chaldeans (Babylonians) who were with the captain of the bodyguard tore down the walls around Jerusalem. 11 Then Nebuzaradan the captain of the bodyguard deported [into exile] the rest of the people who were left in the city and the deserters who had joined the king of Babylon, and the rest of the multitude. 12 But the captain of the bodyguard left some of the unimportant and poorest people of the land to be vineyard workers and farmers. 13 Now the Chaldeans (Babylonians) smashed the bronze pillars which were in the house of the LORD and their bases and the bronze sea (large basin) which were in the house of the LORD , and carried the bronze to Babylon.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  Song of Solomon 3 a 3:7 A conveyance that was used in ancient times especially for the transport of one person, that consisted of an enclosed sedan chair usually in the form of a box with wooden shutters, and that is carried on the shoulders of men by means of projecting poles. Song of Solomon 6 a 6:4 A city in northern Israel known for its gardens and natural beauty. b 6:8 See note Gen 22:24 . Song of Solomon 7 a 7:5 I.e. the long, unbound hair of a woman. Song of Solomon 8 a 8:6 Heb YHWH (Yahweh) . The Book of Isaiah Isaiah 1 Rebellion of God’s People 1 T HE VISION of [the prophet] Isaiah the son of Amoz concerning [the kingdom of] Judah and [its capital] Jerusalem, which he saw [as revealed by God] during the reigns of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah, kings of Judah. 2 Hear, O heavens, and listen, O earth; For the LORD has spoken: “I have reared and brought up sons, But they have rebelled against Me and have broken away. 3 “The ox [instinctively] knows its owner, And the donkey its master’s feeding trough, But Israel does not know [Me as LORD ], My people do not understand.” 4 Ah, sinful nation, A people loaded down with wickedness [with sin, with injustice, with wrongdoing], Offspring of evildoers, Sons who behave corruptly! They have abandoned (rejected) the LORD , They have despised the Holy One of Israel [provoking Him to anger], They have turned away from Him. 5 Why should you be stricken and punished again [since no change results from it]? You [only] continue to rebel. The whole head is sick And the whole heart is faint and sick. 6 From the sole of the foot even to the head There is nothing healthy in the nation’s body, Only bruises, welts, and raw wounds, Not pressed out or bandaged, Nor softened with oil [as a remedy]. 7 Your land lies desolate [because of your disobedience], Your cities are burned with fire, Your fields—strangers are devouring them in your very presence; It is desolate, as overthrown by strangers. 8 The Daughter of Zion (Jerusalem) is left like a [deserted] shelter in a vineyard, Like a watchman’s hut in a cucumber field, like a besieged city [isolated, surrounded by devastation]. 9 If the LORD of hosts Had not left us a few survivors, We would be like Sodom, We would be like Gomorrah. [Gen 19:24 , 25 ; Rom 9:29 ] God Has Had Enough 10 Hear the word of the LORD [rulers of Jerusalem], You rulers of [another] Sodom, Listen to the law and instruction of our God, You people of [another] Gomorrah. 11 “What are your multiplied sacrifices to Me [without your repentance]?” Says the LORD .

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  “O LORD ” [cries Jerusalem], “look at my affliction, For the enemy has magnified himself [in triumph]!” 10 The adversary has spread out his hand Over all her precious and desirable things; For she has seen the [Gentile] nations enter her sanctuary (the Jerusalem temple)— b The ones whom You commanded That they should not enter into Your congregation [not even in the outer courts]. [Deut 23:3 ; Jer 51:51 ; Ezek 44:7 , 9 ] 11 All her people groan, seeking bread; They have exchanged their desirable and precious things for food To restore their lives. “See, O LORD , and consider How despised and repulsive I have become!” 12 “Is it nothing to you, all you who pass this way? Look and see if there is any pain like my pain Which was severely dealt out to me, Which the LORD has inflicted [on me] on the day of His fierce anger. 13 “From on high He sent fire into my bones, And it prevailed over them . He has spread a net for my feet; He has turned me back. He has made me desolate and hopelessly miserable, Faint all the day long. 14 “The yoke of my transgressions is bound; By His hand they are knit and woven together. They have come upon my neck. He has made my strength fail; The Lord has put me into the hand Of those against whom I cannot stand. [Deut 28:48 ] 15 “The Lord has rejected all the strong men In my midst; He has proclaimed an established time against me To crush my young men. The Lord has trampled down as in a wine press The Virgin Daughter of Judah. 16 “I weep for these things; My eyes overflow with tears, Because a comforter, One who could restore my soul, is far away from me. My children are desolate and perishing, For the enemy has prevailed.” [Lam 1:21 ] 17 Zion stretches out her hands, But there is no comforter for her. The LORD has commanded concerning Jacob That his neighbors should be his enemies; Jerusalem has become a filthy thing [an object of contempt] among them. 18 “The LORD is righteous and just; For I have rebelled against His commandment (His word). Hear now, all you peoples, And look at my pain; My virgins and my young men Have gone into captivity. 19 “I [Jerusalem] called to my lovers (political allies), but they deceived me. My priests and my elders perished in the city While they looked for food to restore their strength. 20 “See, O LORD , how distressed I am! My spirit is deeply disturbed; My heart is overturned within me and cannot rest, For I have been very rebellious. In the street the sword kills and bereaves; In the house there is [famine, disease and] death! 21 “People have heard that I groan, That I have no comforter [in You].

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore to pieces forty-two of the boys. 25 Elisha went from there to Mount Carmel, and from there he returned to Samaria. 2 Kings 3 Jehoram Meets Moab Rebellion 1 J EHORAM THE son of Ahab became king over Israel in Samaria in the a eighteenth year of Jehoshaphat king of Judah, and reigned twelve years. 2 He did evil in the sight of the LORD , but not like his father and mother; for he put away the sacred pillar of Baal that his father had made. 3 Nevertheless, he continued in the [idolatrous] sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, who made Israel sin; he did not depart from them. 4 b Mesha the king of Moab was a sheep breeder, and he used to pay [an annual tribute] to the king of Israel 100,000 lambs and the wool of 100,000 rams. 5 But when Ahab died, the king of Moab rebelled against the king of Israel. 6 So King Jehoram left Samaria at that time and assembled all [the fighting men of] Israel. 7 Then he went and sent word to Jehoshaphat king of Judah, saying, “The king of Moab has rebelled against me. Will you go with me to fight against Moab?” And he replied, “I will go; I am as you are, my people as your people, my horses as your horses.” 8 Jehoram said, “Which way shall we go up?” Jehoshaphat answered, “The way through the Wilderness of Edom.” 9 So the king of Israel went with the king of Judah and the king of Edom. They made a circuit of seven days’ journey, but there was no water for the army or for the cattle that followed them. 10 Then the king of Israel said, “We are doomed, for the LORD has called these three kings to be handed over to Moab.” 11 But Jehoshaphat said, “Is there no prophet of the LORD here from whom we may inquire of the LORD ?” One of the servants of the king of Israel answered, “Elisha the son of Shaphat is here, who c used to pour water over Elijah’s hands.” 12 Jehoshaphat said, “The word of the LORD is with him.” So the king of Israel and Jehoshaphat and the king of Edom went down to Elisha. 13 Now Elisha said to the king of Israel, “What business do you have with me? Go to the prophets of your [wicked] father [Ahab] and to the prophets of your [pagan] mother [Jezebel].” But the king of Israel said to him, “No, for the LORD has called these three kings together to be handed over to Moab.” 14 Elisha said, “As the LORD of hosts (armies) lives, before whom I stand, were it not that I have regard for Jehoshaphat king of Judah, I would not look at you nor see you [king of Israel].

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  [2 Chr 29:9 ] 33 “A people whom you do not know will eat the produce of your land and all the products of your labors, and you will never be anything but oppressed and exploited and crushed continually. [Judg 6:1–6 ; 13:1 ] 34 You shall be driven mad by the sight of e the things you see. 35 “The LORD will strike you on the knees and on the legs with sore boils that you cannot heal, from the sole of your foot to the crown of your head. 36 “The LORD will bring you and your king, whom you appoint over you, to a nation which you and your fathers have never known; there you will [be forced to] serve other gods, [lifeless gods of] wood and stone. [2 Kin 17:4 , 6 ; 24:12 , 14 ; 25:7 , 11 ; Dan 6:11 , 12 ] 37 “And you will become a horror, a proverb [a mere object lesson], and a taunt [a derisive joke] among all the people to which the LORD drives you. 38 “You will bring out a great quantity of seed to the field, but you will gather in little, because the locusts will consume it. [Hag 1:6 ] 39 “You will plant vineyards and cultivate them, but you will not drink the wine or gather the grapes, because the worm will eat them. 40 “You will have olive trees throughout your territory but you will not f anoint yourselves with the oil, because your olives will drop off. 41 “You will have sons and daughters, but they will not be yours [for long], because they will go into captivity. [Lam 1:5 ] 42 “The cricket will take possession of all your trees and the produce of your ground. [Joel 1:4 ] 43 “The stranger who lives among you will rise above you higher and higher, and you will go down lower and lower. 44 “He will lend to you [out of his affluence], but you will not lend to him [because of your poverty]; he will be the head, and you the tail. 45 “So all these curses will come on you and pursue you and overtake you until you are destroyed, because you would not obey the voice of the LORD your God by keeping His commandments and His statutes which He has commanded you. 46 “They will be a sign and a wonder to you and your descendants forever. 47 “Because you did not serve the LORD your God with a heart full of joy and gladness for the abundance of all things [with which He blessed you], 48 you will therefore serve your enemies whom the LORD sends against you, in hunger and in thirst, in nakedness and in lack of all things; and He will put an iron yoke [of slavery] on your neck until He has destroyed you.

• From The Incendiaries (2018)

  His head tilted, as if to see me in a different light. He glinted at the edges, protean, slipping. I had to grab him while I still could. Pin him down until he’d admit to his shape-shifting lies. He rubbed his face. I can’t help you, Will, he said. I’ve tried, but I don’t have the time. To be honest, I’ve lost interest. Before I could think of how I’d respond, Phoebe pulled me back. Soon, we’d left the protest behind. We stood out on the street, hailing taxis. Lines of cars sped past, cutting long scars in the slush. The cabs were all occupied. I’d forgotten where I’d parked. I watched the sidewalk flecks, blotted gum. The harsh dazzle of pitted ice. Wind stirred the trash. In a lost, past life, I’d fancied these to be coded messages, dispatches from a loving Lord. Each detail flashed with divine relevance, but it was a false hope. What I had instead was this: salted bitumen, an oil-stained plastic bag. I should give it more attention, not less. I swayed, trying to understand. With a brush of kidskin, Phoebe put my hand to a lamppost. Hold this, she said. I’ll be back in an instant. She crossed the plain of ice until I couldn’t be sure which of the distant backs was hers. Folios of newsprint drifted. Close by, a girl in bright lipstick fiddled with a bike’s chain. She jumped on its seat; she lurched left, raincoat flaring out. The thin form grew a sail, a pale nephilim wing. I thought she’d fall, but she pinged the bike bell, then swept down the street. Will, Phoebe called, leaning out from an idling cab. She took me to the station, waiting until the first train that would go north to Noxhurst. Once it pulled in, she talked the attendant into letting her on without a ticket. He doesn’t feel well, and I’m not staying, she explained, giving him her smile. Here, she said, pushing my seat into a recline. I tried to apologize, but she said she had to get back to the protest. She set my phone’s alarm to ring before my stop. What about the apartment? I asked, remembering. Your friend’s place. Oh, that, she said. She took out her phone. I was about to say I could wait in the apartment until the protest finished, but she said, still looking at the phone, I’m staying the night. From the train, I watched Phoebe go, striding fast, horizontal. I’d have left the train, chased Phoebe down, if I’d been less to blame. The train slid into the afternoon, and I slept until the Noxhurst station. – Up through the next morning, in spite of what she’d said, I still thought Phoebe would come back Saturday night. But I woke Sunday to find she wasn’t home.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  The next day I said to her, ‘Give your son so that we may eat him’; but she had hidden her son.” 30 When the king heard the woman’s words, he h tore his clothes—now he was still walking along on the wall—and the people looked [at him], and he had on i sackcloth underneath [his royal robe] next to his skin. 31 Then he said, “j May God do so to me and more also, if the head of Elisha the son of Shaphat remains on him today!” 32 Now Elisha was sitting in his house, and the elders were sitting with him. And the king sent a man ahead of him [to behead Elisha]; but before the messenger arrived, Elisha told the elders, “Do you see how this son of [Jezebel] a murderer has sent [a man] to remove my head? Look, when the messenger comes, shut the door and hold it securely against him. Is not the sound of his master’s feet [just] behind him?” 33 While Elisha was still talking with them, the messenger came down to him [followed by the king] and the king said, “This evil [situation] is from the LORD ! Why should I wait for [help from] the LORD any longer?” 2 Kings 7 Elisha Promises Food 1 T HEN ELISHA said, “Hear the word of the LORD . Thus says the LORD , ‘Tomorrow about this time a a measure of finely-milled flour will sell for a shekel, and two measures of barley for a shekel, at the gate of Samaria.’ ” 2 Then the royal officer on whose arm the king leaned answered the man of God and said, “If the LORD should make windows in heaven [for the rain], could this thing take place?” Elisha said, “Behold, you will see it with your own eyes, but [because you doubt] you will not eat of it.” Four Lepers Relate Arameans’ Flight 3 Now four men who were b lepers were at the entrance of the [city’s] gate; and they said to one another, “Why should we sit here until we die? 4 “If we say, ‘We will enter the city’—then the famine is in the city and we will die there; and if we sit still here, we will also die. So now come, let us go over to the camp of the Arameans (Syrians). If they let us live, we will live; and if they kill us, we will only die.” 5 So they got up at twilight to go to the Aramean camp. But when they came to the edge of the camp, there was no one there. 6 For the LORD had caused the Aramean army to hear the sound of chariots, and the sound of horses, the sound of a great army.

• From Lady Chatterley's Lover (1928)

  "Because when I feel the human world is doomed, has doomed itself by its own mingy beastliness, then I feel the Colonies aren't far enough. The moon wouldn't be far enough, because even there you could look back and see the earth, dirty, beastly, unsavoury among all the stars: made foul by men. Then I feel I've swallowed gall, and it's eating my inside out, and nowhere's far enough away to get away. But when I get a turn, I forget it all again. Though it's a shame, what's been done to people these last hundred years: men turned into nothing but labour-insects, and all their manhood taken away, and all their real life. I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like a black mistake. But since I can't, an' nobody can, I'd better hold my peace, an' try an' live my own life: if I've got one to live, which I rather doubt." The thunder had ceased outside, but the rain which had abated, suddenly came striking down, with a last blench of lightning and mutter of departing storm. Connie was uneasy. He had talked so long now, and he was really talking to himself, not to her. Despair seemed to come down on him completely, and she was feeling happy, she hated despair. She knew her leaving him, which he had only just realised inside himself, had plunged him back into this mood. And she triumphed a little. She opened the door and looked at the straight heavy rain, like a steel curtain, and had a sudden desire to rush out into it, to rush away. She got up, and began swiftly pulling off her stockings, then her dress and underclothing, and he held his breath. Her pointed keen animal breasts tipped and stirred as she moved. She was ivory-coloured in the greenish light. She slipped on her rubber shoes again and ran out with a wild little laugh, holding up her breasts to the heavy rain and spreading her arms, and running blurred in the rain with the eurythmic dance-movements she had learned so long ago in Dresden. It was a strange pallid figure lifting and falling, bending so the rain beat and glistened on the full haunches, swaying up again and coming belly-forward through the rain, then stooping again so that only the full loins and buttocks were offered in a kind of homage towards him, repeating a wild obeisance.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  Gerbino, who saw the lady upon the poop, far fairer than he had pictured her to himself, and was more inflamed than ever, replied to the showing of the glove that there were no falcons there at that present and consequently there needed no gloves; wherefore, an they chose not to give up the lady, they must prepare to receive battle. Accordingly, without further parley, they fell to casting shafts and stones at one another, and on this wise they fought a great while, with loss on either side. At last, Gerbino, seeing that he did little to the purpose, took a little vessel he had brought with him out of Sardinia and setting fire therein, thrust it with both the galleys aboard the ship. The Saracens, seeing this and knowing that they must of necessity surrender or die, fetched the king's daughter, who wept below, on deck and brought her to the ship's prow; then, calling Gerbino, they butchered her before his eyes, what while she called for mercy and succour, and cast her into the sea, saying, 'Take her; we give her to thee, such as we may and such as thine unfaith hath merited.' Gerbino, seeing their barbarous deed, caused lay himself alongside the ship and recking not of shaft or stone, boarded it, as if courting death, in spite of those who were therein; then,--even as a hungry lion, coming among a herd of oxen, slaughtereth now this, now that, and with teeth and claws sateth rather his fury than his hunger,--sword in hand, hewing now at one, now at another, he cruelly slew many of the Saracens; after which, the fire now waxing in the enkindled ship, he caused the sailors fetch thereout what they might, in payment of their pains, and descended thence, having gotten but a sorry victory over his adversaries. Then, letting take up the fair lady's body from the sea, long and with many tears he bewept it and steering for Sicily, buried it honourably in Ustica, a little island over against Trapani; after which he returned home, the woefullest man alive. The King of Tunis, hearing the heavy news, sent his ambassadors, clad all in black, to King Guglielmo, complaining of the ill observance of the faith which he had plighted him. They recounted to him how the thing had passed, whereat King Guglielmo was sore incensed and seeing no way to deny them the justice they sought, caused take Gerbino; then himself,--albeit there was none of his barons but strove with prayers to move him from his purpose,--condemned him to death and let strike off his head in his presence, choosing rather to abide without posterity than to be held a faithless king. Thus, then, as I have told you, did these two lovers within a few days[239] die miserably a violent death, without having tasted any fruit of their loves." [Footnote 239: _i.e._ of each other.] THE FIFTH STORY [Day the Fourth]

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  33 ‘Your sons shall be wanderers and shepherds in the wilderness for forty years, and they will suffer for your unfaithfulness (spiritual infidelity), until your corpses are consumed in the wilderness. 34 ‘According to the number of days in which you spied out the land [of Canaan], forty days, for each day, you shall bear and suffer a year for your sins and guilt, for forty years, and you shall know My displeasure [the revoking of My promise and My estrangement because of your sin]. 35 ‘I, the LORD , have spoken. I will most certainly do this to all this evil congregation who are gathered together against Me. In this wilderness they shall be consumed [by war, disease, and plagues], and here they shall die.’ ” [1 Cor 10:10 , 11 ] 36 As for the men whom Moses sent to spy out the land, and who returned and made all the congregation murmur and complain against him by bringing back a bad report concerning the land, 37 even those [ten] men who brought back the very bad report of the land died by a plague before the LORD . [Heb 3:17–19 ; Jude 5–7 ] 38 But Joshua the son of Nun and Caleb the son of Jephunneh remained alive out of those men who went to spy out the land. Israel Repulsed 39 Moses spoke the Lord’s words to all the Israelites, and the people mourned greatly. 40 They got up early in the morning and went up to the ridge of the hill country, saying, “Look, here we are; we have indeed sinned, but we will go up to the place which the LORD has promised.” 41 But Moses said, “Why then are you transgressing the commandment of the LORD , when it will not succeed? 42 “Do not go up, or you will be struck down before your enemies, for the LORD is not among you. 43 “For the Amalekites and the Canaanites will be there in front of you, and you will fall by the sword, because you have turned away from following the LORD ; therefore the LORD will not be with you.” 44 But [in their arrogance] they dared to go up to the ridge of the hill country; however, neither the ark of the covenant of the LORD nor Moses left the camp. 45 Then the Amalekites and the Canaanites who lived in that hill country came down and struck the Israelites and scattered them as far as Hormah.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  11 “For God has loosed His bowstring [attacking me] and [He has] afflicted and humbled me; They have cast off the bridle [of restraint] before me. 12 “On my right the [rabble] brood rises; They push my feet away, and they build up their ways of destruction against me [like an advancing army]. 13 “They break up and clutter my path [upsetting my plans], They profit from my destruction; No one restrains them. 14 “As through a wide breach they come, Amid the crash [of falling walls] they roll on [over me]. 15 “Terrors are turned upon me; They chase away my honor and reputation like the wind, And my prosperity has passed away like a cloud. 16 “And now my soul is poured out within me; The days of affliction have seized me. 17 “My bones are pierced [with aching] in the night season, And the pains that gnaw me take no rest. 18 “By the great force [of my disease] my garment (skin) is disfigured and blemished; It binds about me [choking me] like the collar of my coat. 19 “God has cast me into the mire [a swampland of crisis], And I have become [worthless] like dust and ashes. 20 “I cry to You for help, [Lord,] but You do not answer me; I stand up, but You [only] gaze [indifferently] at me. 21 “You have become harsh and cruel to me; With the might of Your hand You [keep me alive only to] persecute me. 22 “You lift me up on the wind and cause me to ride [upon it]; And You toss me about in the tempest and dissolve me in the storm. 23 “For I know that You will bring me to death And to the house of meeting [appointed] for all the living. 24 “However, does not one falling in a heap of ruins stretch out his hand? Or in his disaster [will he not] therefore cry out for help? 25 “Did I not weep for one whose life was hard and filled with trouble? Was not my heart grieved for the needy? 26 “When I expected good, then came evil [to me]; And when I waited for light, then came darkness. 27 “I am seething within and my heart is troubled and cannot rest; Days of affliction come to meet me. 28 “I go about mourning without comfort [my skin blackened by disease, not by the heat of the sun]; I stand up in the assembly and cry out for help. 29 “I am a brother to [howling] jackals, And a companion to ostriches [which scream dismally]. 30 “My skin falls from me in blackened flakes, And my bones are burned with fever. 31 “Therefore my lyre (harp) is used for [the sound of] mourning, And my flute for the [sound of the] voices of those who weep.

• From Amplified Holy Bible (2015)

  5 Our pursuers are at our necks; We are worn out, there is no rest for us. 6 We have given the hand [as a pledge of fidelity and submission] to Egypt and Assyria to get enough bread. 7 Our fathers sinned, and are no more; It is a we who have carried their sin. [Is 65:7 ; Jer 16:11 , 12 ; 31:29 ; Ezek 18:2–4 ] 8 Servants rule over us; There is no one to rescue us out of their hand. [Neh 5:15 ] 9 We get our bread at the risk of our lives Because of the sword [of the Arabs] in the wilderness [who may attack if we go out to harvest the crop]. 10 Our skin is as hot as [the heat of] an oven Because of the burning heat of [the fever of] famine. 11 They ravished the women in Zion, The virgins in the cities of Judah. 12 Princes were hung by their hands; Elders were not respected. 13 Young men worked at the grinding mill, And boys fell [staggering] under loads of wood. 14 Elders are gone from the gate; Young men from their music. 15 The joy of our hearts has ended; Our dancing has been turned into mourning. 16 The crown has fallen from our head [our honor is covered with dust]! Woe to us, for we have sinned! 17 Because of this our heart is faint, Because of these things our eyes are dim. 18 As for Mount Zion, which lies desolate, Foxes and the jackals prowl over it. 19 But You, O LORD , reign forever; Your throne endures from generation to [all] generations. 20 Why do You forget us forever? Why do You forsake us so long? 21 Return us to You, O LORD , so that we may be restored; Renew our days as of old, 22 Unless You have utterly rejected us And are exceedingly angry with us. Lamentations 1 a 1:1 The writings of the prophets are not only valuable contributions to Old Testament history, but the reader is also enriched by familiarity with the forecasts of events which have been fulfilled, thus revealing the divine inspiration of the books and the wisdom and power of the God who prompted their writings. b 1:10 The Ammonites and Moabites, descendants of Lot and related to Israel, were forbidden to enter the congregation of the Lord, “even to their tenth generation,” because they refused to assist the sons of Israel when they were escaping from Egypt, and because they hired Balaam to curse Israel (Deut 23:3 , 4 ). The Israelites never assembled any closer to the sanctuary of the temple than in the court outside its door. No Jew, not even David was authorized to enter the sanctuary proper except for certain Levites to whom such service was assigned. But now, Jeremiah says, the forbidden pagan nations enter the Holy of Holies to vandalize.

• From The Incendiaries (2018)

  I’d last heard from Fitz a week ago, before I decided to go to L.A. In the news, I’d been identified as Phoebe Lin’s old boyfriend; since then, I had reporters calling, along with patriots who wished me dead, in jail. Shot. Praised. So, when a restricted number flashed on my phone, I put it down. It rang again. It wasn’t until the fourth call that I answered. It’s Agent Fitz, she said. I’m hanging up. You don’t want to do that. I have news for you. I was in Norton Hall, going to class. Swerving left, I went into a single-person bathroom. I locked myself in. You had that footage when you talked to me, didn’t you? I said. With Phoebe. The tape. You lied to get me to tell— Don’t be a child. You knew what I was doing. If you didn’t, you’re a fool. I’m calling because I said I’d help find Phoebe, and I hold up my end of a promise. It’ll be out before long, but I wanted to tell you ahead of time. Fitz said that a man, a Noxhurst local, had been jogging down the Hudson. It was as he approached Hoyt Bridge that he glimpsed the long hair he’d seen in photos, a blue dress, falling from the rail. But Phoebe didn’t own blue clothing. She thought it washed out her skin. He didn’t see a face, so it might have been anyone. It could have been nothing at all: a flock of black-pinioned birds, flicking mid-flight, like a ponytail. The feathers shredding trapezoids of blue into the trick lines of a girl’s dress. Less than a mile from the clinic, he’d have had the attacks in mind. I let Fitz persist, talking, until she admitted they’d failed to find the alleged suicide’s body. Based on evidence I can’t disclose, she said, the bureau has concluded the man did, in fact, see Phoebe fall from a bridge. She sent you a note we had to intercept: I can’t give it to you, but I’ll make sure its contents are passed along. I have to go, I said. I switched off my phone; I laughed until I couldn’t breathe. That evening, I received an email from Fitz, the note digitized, then attached. I watched from the roof while God’s hand flattened the killing mill. I thought I’d see the face of God and live. Will, I’ve since learned that it’s possible to love life without loving mine. –