Contempt

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir (2004)

  Unsurprisingly perhaps, both male and female atheists are the most likely backdoor enthusiasts, but the Catholics run a very close second. For the former it is pleasure, perversion, and possibly their only chance for the religious experience of submission; for the latter, no doubt, it’s merely birth control. While white women are the most common sodomitic recipients (Sue Johanson, Canada’s Dr. Ruth, says 43 percent of all women have tried anal sex), their male counterparts appear not to be their most likely perpetrator. Hispanic men are the white woman’s most likely ride for a trip to the other side. To think that anal sex actually encourages integration! Perhaps even more politically correct is the less mainstream, but nevertheless significant, “bend-over boyfriend” movement. This movement certainly deserves . . . ah . . . well, these guys must deserve something for facing not only the terror of homosexuality but a girlfriend wielding a dildo bigger than their own dicks. And what a movement it is! The chance to be a girl, the chance to find out just how much submission it takes to have a hard, seven-inch cock up your bum. Come on, guys, bend over . . . take it like a man. And there it is: the curious double standard common to so many straight men: terrified of getting it, but all too eager to give it. What is that about? How can they expect a woman to take a cock up her ass when they squeal if anything larger than a pinky finger is waved in their direction? Not that I’d want any man of mine to be bending over too eagerly. Definitely not. Protest is the only dignified position for a straight man to assume when he’s consented to be ass-fucked. Protest every inch of the way, I say. There is plenty of protest in Eve Ensler’s popular play The Vagina Monologues. But why is it that in all those interviews, all those questions, all those monologues, there is not a single mention of a woman’s asshole? So close and yet so far; the space that could change the world. All that “liberated” Pussy Talk, and yet so avoidant about what lies behind their sacred place: the hole of no return. Oh, well. It would be treason, I suppose, to advocate surrender at the rear for those who are just finally claiming victory at the front. Victory from behind, however, seems so much more, how can I put it . . . honorable. I can’t but wonder if my play, The Anal Dialogues, could find a venue even off-off-off-Broadway? Perhaps in some dark performance space down some little-traveled back alley? Clearly, yelling about butt-fucking from the rooftops—or on the national radio waves—is not advised.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  (d) The chief objection to the vision-hypothesis is its intrinsic impossibility. It makes the most exorbitant claim upon our credulity. It requires us to believe that many persons, singly and collectively, at different times, and in different places, from Jerusalem to Damascus, had the same vision and dreamed the same dream; that the women at the open sepulchre early in the morning, Peter and John soon afterwards, the two disciples journeying to Emmaus on the afternoon of the resurrection day, the assembled apostles on the evening in the absence of Thomas, and again on the next Lord’s Day in the presence of the skeptical Thomas, seven apostles at the lake of Tiberias, on one occasion five hundred brethren at once most of whom were still alive when Paul reported the fact, then James, the brother of the Lord, who formerly did not believe in him, again all the apostles on Mount Olivet at the ascension, and at last the clearheaded, strong-minded persecutor on the way to Damascus—that all these men and women on these different occasions vainly imagined they saw and heard the self-same Jesus in bodily shape and form; and that they were by this baseless vision raised all at once from the deepest gloom in which the crucifixion of their Lord had left them, to the boldest faith and strongest hope which impelled them to proclaim the gospel of the resurrection from Jerusalem to Rome to the end of their lives! And this illusion of the early disciples created the greatest revolution not only in their own views and conduct, but among Jews and Gentiles and in the subsequent history of mankind! This illusion, we are expected to believe by these unbelievers, gave birth to the most real and most mighty of all facts, the Christian Church which has lasted these eighteen hundred years and is now spread all over the civilized world, embracing more members than ever and exercising more moral power than all the kingdoms and all other religions combined! The vision-hypothesis, instead of getting rid of the miracle, only shifts it from fact to fiction; it makes an empty delusion more powerful than the truth, or turns all history itself at last into a delusion. Before we can reason the resurrection of Christ out of history we must reason the apostles and Christianity itself out of existence. We must either admit the miracle, or frankly confess that we stand here before an inexplicable mystery. Remarkable Concessions.—The ablest advocates of the vision-theory are driven against their wish and will to admit some unexplained objective reality in the visions of the risen or ascended Christ.

• From The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir (2004)

  MEN Despite all this emerging knowledge, convention dies hard and I still kept trying out boyfriends—whom I always bitterly resented afterwards for allowing me to entrap myself. But between these misguided debacles there were several amusing forays. The impossibly handsome actor who modeled Jansen bathing suits but whose riveting blue eyes seemed to look into mine only to see their own reflection. It was the first time I witnessed a man’s narcissism that was undoubtedly greater than mine—how unbecoming, I thought. His cock was huge and, I suppose, impressive, but it smelled antiseptic and I kept away. The big neighbor who looked like Nicolas Cage was a bit of a jerk, but he fucked so slow that I cried at the beauty, at the sadness. Then there was the other neighbor, the biker. I’d never had a Harley man; never done it before on a Harley, over a Harley. Lost an earring I loved. The cute newspaper boy: the cliché was too good to resist. And he did deliver. I tried returning to a former boyfriend. Great friend, not a lover. Then there was the guy who held me fast with one arm, his tongue buried in my mouth, his cock vertical against me while madly waving with his free hand for a cab to take me away. This has become my favorite image of male ambivalence. There was the magician who could produce my jack of hearts out of sealed cement only seconds after I handed it to him but who, remarkably for a trickster, couldn’t eat pussy to save his life. Talents vary. One Paul Newman–like prospect found me at Starbucks and caught me with his eyes. He could ejaculate, stay hard, and come again, often three times in row. Remarkable. I wondered if they were three full orgasms, or if he had simply learned to parse out one big one to impress the girls. He even attempted boyfriend status, but his patronizing butt-patting made me crazy. One evening, when he arrived for a date and asked to hang his clean shirt for the next morning in my closet, I knew I was done with him. What presumption. Sex does not mean breakfast. Happily, the beautiful boys—tall, svelte, toned, thoughtful, loving, full of poetry and music—never considered sleeping over, but they did not yet know how to fuck, either. I was intrigued by two feet guys. Sucking, kissing, rubbing my feet in stilettos, they garnered erections like steel. But was it me or my shoes? I do have some great shoes. They both had big cocks—about the height of my heels, strangely enough—dispelling any misconception I might have had that their fetish was compensatory. A charming young Frenchman produced the thickest cock I’d ever seen up close.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  *Theodor Beza (d. 1605): Johannis Calvini Vita. First published with Calvin’s posthumous Commentary on Joshua, in the year of his death. It is reprinted in all editions of Calvin’s works, and in Tholuck’s edition of Calvin’s Commentary on the Gospels. In the same year Beza published a French edition under the title, L’Histoire de la vie et mort de Maistre Jean Calvin avec le testament et derniere volonté dudit Calvin: et le catalogue des livres par luy composez. Genève, 1564; second French edition, enlarged and improved by his friend and colleague, Nic. Colladon, 1565; best edition, Geneva, 1657 (very rare, 204 pp.), which has been carefully republished from a copy in the Mazarin library, with an introduction and notes by Alfred Franklin, Paris, 1869 (pp. lxi and 294). This edition should be consulted. The three biographies of Beza (two French and one Latin) are reprinted in the Brunswick edition of Calvin’s Opera with a notice littéraire, Tom. XXI. pp. 6–172, to which are added the Epitaphia in lo. Calvinum scripta (Hebrew, Greek, Latin, and French). There are also German, English, and Italian translations of this biography. An English translation by Francis Sibson of Trinity College, Dublin, reprinted in Philadelphia, 1836; another by Beveridge, Edinburgh, 1843. The biography of Beza as enlarged by Colladon, though somewhat eulogistic, and especially Calvin’s letters and works, and the letters of his friends who knew him best, furnish the chief material for an authentic biography. Hierosme Hermes Bolsec: Histoire de la vie, moeurs, actes, doctrine, constance et mort de Jean Calvin, jadis ministre de Genève, dédié au Reverendissime archeuesque, conte de l’Église de Lyon, et Primat de France, Lyon, 1577 (26 chs. and 143 pp.); republished at Paris, 1582; and with an introduction and notes by L. Fr. Chastel, Lyon, 1875 (pp. xxxi and 328). I have used Chastel’s edition. A Latin translation, De J. Calvini magni quondam Genevensium ministri vita, moribus, rebus gestis, studiis ac denique morte, appeared in Paris, 1577, also at Cologne, 1580; a German translation at Cologne, 1581. Bolsec was a Carmelite monk, then physician at Geneva, expelled on account of Pelagian views and opposition to Calvin, 1551; returned to the Roman Church; d. at Annecy about 1584. His book is a mean and unscrupulous libel, inspired by feelings of hatred and revenge; but some of his facts are true, and have been confirmed by the documents published by Galiffe. Bolsec wrote a similar biography of Beza: Histoire de la vie, moeurs, doctrine et déportments de Th. de Bèze dit le Spectable, 1582. A French writer says, "Ces biographies sont un tissu de calomnies qu’ aucun historien sérieux, pas même le P. Maimbourg, n’a osé admettre et dont plus récemment M. Mignet a fait bonne justice." (A. Réville in Lichtenberger’s "Encycl.," II. 343.) Comp. the article "Bolsec" in La France Protestante, 2d ed. (1879), II. 745–776. Antibolseccus. Cleve, 1622. Of this book I find only the title.

• From Best Erotica & Sexual Deviance Narratives Ever Written (2024)

  To relieve indigence is to violate the established order, to imperil it, it is to enter into revolt against that which Nature has decreed, it is to undermine the equilibrium that is fundamental to her sublimest arrangements; it is to strive to erect an equality very perilous to society, it is to encourage indolence and flatter drones, it is to teach the poor to rob the rich man when the latter is pleased to refuse the former alms, for it's a dangerous habit, and gratuities encourage it." "Oh, Monsieur, how harsh these principles are! Would you speak thus had you not always been wealthy?" "Who knows, Therese? everyone has a right to his opinion, that's mine, and I'll not change it. They complain about beggars in France: if they wished to be rid of them, the thing could soon be done; hang seven or eight thousand of 'em and the infamous breed will vanish overnight. The Body Politic should be governed by the same rules that apply to the Body Physical. Would a man devoured by vermin allow them to feed upon him out of sympathy? In our gardens do we not uproot the parasitic plant which harms useful vegetation? Why then should one choose to act otherwise in this case?" "But Religion," I expostulated, "benevolence, Monsieur, humanity..." "... are the chopping blocks of all who pretend to happiness," said Roland; "if I have consolidated my own, it is only upon the debris of all those infamous prejudices of mankind; 'tis by mocking laws human and divine; 'tis by constantly sacrificing the weak when I find them in my path, 'tis by abusing the public's good faith; 'tis by ruining the poor and stealing from the rich I have arrived at the summit of that precipice whereupon sits the temple sacred to the divinity I adore; why not imitate me? The narrow road leading to that shrine is as plainly offered to your eyes as mine; the hallucinatory virtues you have preferred to it, have they consoled you for your sacrifices?

• From Best Erotica & Sexual Deviance Narratives Ever Written (2024)

  When one has trespassed every frontier, when in our eyes honor is no more than a hallucination, reputation of perfect indifference, religion an illusion, death a total annihilation; is it then not the same thing, to die on the scaffold or in bed? There are two varieties of rascals in the world, Therese: the one a powerful fortune or prodigious influence shelters from this tragic end; the other one who is unable to avoid it when taken. The latter, born unprovided with possessions, must have but one desire if he has any esprit: to become rich at no matter what price; if he succeeds, he obtains what he wanted and should be content; if he is put on the rack, what's he to regret since he has nothing to lose? Those laws decreed against banditry are null if they are not extended to apply to the powerful bandit; that the law inspire any dread in the miserable is impossible, for the sword is the miserable man's only resource." "And do you believe," I broke in, "that in another world Celestial Justice does not await him whom crime has not affrighted in this one?" "I believe," this dangerous woman answered, "that if there were a God there would be less evil on earth; I believe that since evil exists, these disorders are either expressly ordained by this God, and there you have a barbarous fellow, or he is incapable of preventing them and right away you have a feeble God; in either case, an abominable being, a being whose lightning I should defy and whose laws contemn. Ah, Therese I is not atheism preferable to the one and the other of these extremes? that's my doctrine, dear lass, it's been mine since childhood and I'll surely not renounce it while I live." "You make me shudder, Madame," I said, getting to my feet; "will you pardon me? for I am unable to listen any longer to your sophistries and blasphemies." "One moment, Therese," said Dubois, holding me back, "if I cannot conquer your reason, I may at least captivate your heart. I have need of you, do not refuse me your aid; here are a thousand louis: they will be yours as soon as the blow is struck." Heedless of all but my penchant for doing good, I immediately asked Dubois what was involved so as to forestall, if 'twere possible, the crime she was getting ready to commit. "Here it is," she said: "have you noticed that young tradesman from Lyon who has been taking his meals here for the past four or five days?" "Who? Dubreuil?" "Precisely." "Well?"

• From Best Erotica & Sexual Deviance Narratives Ever Written (2024)

  To produce the painful impression, on the contrary, requires no virtues at all: the more defects a man may have, the older he is, the less lovable, the more resounding his success. With what regards the objective, it will be far more certainly attained since we are establishing the fact that one never better touches, I wish to say, that one never better irritates one's senses than when the greatest possible impression has been produced in the employed object, by no matter what devices; therefore, he who will cause the most tumultuous impression to be born in a woman, he who will most thoroughly convulse this woman's entire frame, very decidedly will have managed to procure himself the heaviest possible dose of voluptuousness, because the shock resultant upon us by the impressions others experience, which shock in turn is necessitated by the impression we have of those others, will necessarily be more vigorous if the impression these others receive be painful, than if the impression they receive be sweet and mild; and it follows that the voluptuous egoist, who is persuaded his pleasures will be keen only insofar as they are entire, will therefore impose, when he has it in his power to do so, the strongest possible dose of pain upon the employed object, fully certain that what by way of voluptuous pleasure he extracts will be his only by dint of the very lively impression he has produced." "Oh, Father," I said to Clement, "these doctrines are dreadful, they lead to the cultivation of cruel tastes, horrible tastes." "Why, what does it matter?" demanded the barbarian; "and, once again, have we any control over our tastes? Must we not yield to the dominion of those Nature has inserted in us as when before the tempest's force the proud oak bends its head? Were Nature offended by these proclivities, she would not have inspired them in us; that we can receive from her hands a sentiment such as would outrage her is impossible, and, extremely certain of this, we can give ourselves up to our passions, whatever their sort and of whatever their violence, wholly sure that all the discomfitures their shock may occasion are naught but the designs of Nature, of whom we are the involuntary instruments. And what to us are these passions' consequences? When one wishes to delight in any action whatsoever, there is never any question of consequences."

• From Best Erotica & Sexual Deviance Narratives Ever Written (2024)

  She has neither cigarettes, nor wine, nor cards, nor comrades, nor public houses, nor public functions. And then the chief thing is that she is physically pure, and that is why, in marrying, she is superior to her husband. She is superior to man as a young girl, and when she becomes a wife in our society, where there is no need to work in order to live, she becomes superior, also, by the gravity of the acts of generation, birth, and nursing. “Woman, in bringing a child into the world, and giving it her bosom, sees clearly that her affair is more serious than the affair of man, who sits in the Zemstvo, in the court. She knows that in these functions the main thing is money, and money can be made in different ways, and for that very reason money is not inevitably necessary, like nursing a child. Consequently woman is necessarily superior to man, and must rule. But man, in our society, not only does not recognize this, but, on the contrary, always looks upon her from the height of his grandeur, despising what she does. “Thus my wife despised me for my work at the Zemstvo, because she gave birth to children and nursed them. I, in turn, thought that woman’s labor was most contemptible, which one might and should laugh at. “Apart from the other motives, we were also separated by a mutual contempt. Our relations grew ever more hostile, and we arrived at that period when, not only did dissent provoke hostility, but hostility provoked dissent. Whatever she might say, I was sure in advance to hold a contrary opinion; and she the same. Toward the fourth year of our marriage it was tacitly decided between us that no intellectual community was possible, and we made no further attempts at it. As to the simplest objects, we each held obstinately to our own opinions. With strangers we talked upon the most varied and most intimate matters, but not with each other. Sometimes, in listening to my wife talk with others in my presence, I said to myself: ‘What a woman! Everything that she says is a lie!’ And I was astonished that the person with whom she was conversing did not see that she was lying. When we were together; we were condemned to silence, or to conversations which, I am sure, might have been carried on by animals. “‘What time is it? It is bed-time. What is there for dinner to-day? Where shall we go? What is there in the newspaper?

• From Best Erotica & Sexual Deviance Narratives Ever Written (2024)

  I would grant this true in a world composed of equal proportions of good and bad people, because in this instance, the interest of the one category would be in clear contradiction with that of the other; however, that does not hold true in a completely corrupt society; in it, my vices outrage the vicious only and provoke in them other vices which they use to square matters: and thus all of us are happy: the vibration becomes general: we have a multitude of conflicts and mutual injuries whereby everyone, immediately recovering what he has just lost, incessantly discovers himself in a happy position. Vice is dangerous to naught but Virtue which, frail and timorous, dares undertake nothing; but when it shall no longer exist on earth, when its wearisome reign shall reach its end, vice thereafter outraging no one but the vicious, will cause other vices to burgeon but will cause no further damage to the virtuous. How could you help but have foundered a thousand times over in the course of your life, Therese? for have you not continually driven up the one-way street all the world has crowded down? Had you turned and abandoned yourself to the tide you would have made a safe port as well as I. Will he who wishes to climb upstream cover as much distance in a day as he who moves with the current? You constantly talk about Providence; ha! what proves to you this Providence is a friend of order and consequently enamored of Virtue? Does It not give you uninterrupted examples of Its injustices and Its irregularities? Is it by sending mankind war, plagues, and famine, is it by having formed a universe vicious in every one of its particulars It manifests to your view Its extreme fondness of good?

• From Birthday Girl (2018)

  Él y sus amigos se escurren por la puerta principal, se dirigen a The Cue para jugar al billar, pero Jay echa una mirada en mi dirección mientras se dirige a la puerta, pasando su brazo alrededor de Shawna Abbot. Sus ojos se posan en mi pecho y luego vuelven a subir, mirándome con una parte de deseo y tres partes de amenaza. Y durante dos años ha sido solo eso. Recibir las miradas asquerosas que me lanza por miedo de reaccionar otra vez. Sin embargo, me ha dejado en paz, así que simplemente lo evito y finjo que no está allí. Ambos grupos se van, decidiendo encontrar su diversión en otro lugar, pero antes que la puerta de entrada tenga la oportunidad de cerrarse, mi hermana la atraviesa, y un par de compañeras de trabajo la siguen. Todos los ojos en la habitación se vuelven hacia ellas, mirando a las mujeres sexys en sus diminutas blusas y tacones altos. The Girl Gets Around, de Sammy Hagar, suena en la máquina de discos, y Cam se dirige a la barra, sosteniéndose en el borde y haciendo un pequeño baile mientras canta en play-back para mí. Es todo un personaje. —¿Ya terminaste? —pregunto por sobre la música, mirando el reloj en la pared—. No me iré por al menos otra hora. —Está bien. —Cam le resta importancia con un gesto mientras se estira y saca el ron y los vasos limpios frente a mí—. Necesitamos relajarnos antes de ir a casa a dormir de todos modos. Sirve un solo trago, vuelve a colocar la botella y toma la pistola de soda, llenando su vaso con Coca-Cola Light. Saco la pala del recipiente de hielo y agrego unos cubos a su vaso antes de bajar por la barra, revisando a los clientes. Sustituyo las cervezas de Grady y Rich, vuelvo a servirle al marido de Shel jugando al video póker, y mezclo tres Cosmos para unas pocas damas que dejaron sus ediciones de The Gift de Deepak Chopra en su mesa, las que traen todas las semanas para que sus maridos piensen que, de hecho, están en una reunión del club literario. —¿Quieres saltar aquí atrás? —grita Shel a Cam—. Necesito reponer cerveza. Lanza una mirada a Shel, pero se levanta y va detrás de la barra. Shel va por el pasillo donde se guarda el refrigerador y la cerveza. —Saca todas las propinas y comienza a llenar el jarro otra vez —digo a mi hermana desde el otro extremo—. No tendrás una parte de las mías. Se ríe, mirándome con aire de suficiencia mientras se lleva las manos a las caderas. Me vuelvo para mezclar un Screwdriver3 para otro cliente, y lo siguiente que sé es que hay un rollo de dinero en mi rostro. —Como si necesitara tus diez centavos y cinco monedas, nena —responde con aire de suficiencia. Abro los ojos de par en par, mientras miro boquiabierta.

• From The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir (2004)

  A steady spread of repeals in twenty-seven more states and the District of Columbia followed— good to know that all that ass-fucking in the nation’s capital has finally been legalized. Of the states where antisodomy laws can still be found in the legal literature, Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, and Texas are unique in that “the unspeakable vice of the Greeks” remains illegal only for homosexuals, whereas Alabama, Florida, Idaho, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Utah, and Virginia forbid it no matter what your sex—or species. Definitions vary: in Rhode Island, for example, where the law was repealed in 1998, sodomy was a felony, an “abominable and detestable crime against nature” meriting seven to twenty years in jail—unless, of course, you were married. Then it was totally okay. To think that you had to get married to get legally “abominable and detestable.” I really respect that sort of legal logic. South Carolina is the only state that still defines sodomy as “buggery,” an affectionate nod, I assume, to the state’s original position as a British colony. This state also claims the impressive distinction of the most prosecutions: between 1954 and 1974, there were no less than 146 buggery cases, resulting in 125 convictions. A 1977 attempt in Oklahoma to repeal its antisodomy law was unsuccessful due to a vote-delaying “chorus of giggles,” according to the official records. In Arkansas, where sodomy was defined as a misdemeanor only for homosexuals, the bill was explicitly “aimed at weirdos and queers who live in a fairyland world and are trying to wreck family life.” Good thing this law was declared unconstitutional in 2002, if only to deflect attention from the Arkansas legislature’s propensity for queer and weirdo prose. Minnesota gets high marks for animal rights: there was once a curious addendum to their law, since repealed, stating that sex “between humans and birds” is strictly prohibited—sounds like some sick fuck got his chicks confused. As a woman who prefers most animals to most people, I will say without reservation that I think this particular statute should be reinstated to prosecute those particular Homo sapiens who threaten the avian community. The penalties that accompanied these laws varied widely: in Utah, you could get off with a penalty of a thousand dollars, rendering the state one of the cheaper places in the Union in which to perform illegal sodomy. Back in 1857, a twenty-one-year-old Mormon man was ordered shot to death for “bestiality” with his horse, but, in a brutal reversal, the Mormon was spared while the horse was shot. Very sensible.

• From The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir (2004)

  Enough—for now—of my story. What about yours? I am not alone, you know, in my sometimes unlawful obsession. Despite the landmark 2003 Supreme Court decision Lawrence v. Texas that renders all antisodomy laws unconstitutional and unenforceable, the statutes are still on the books in twenty-two states and Puerto Rico (and I suspect that Disneyland has an ordinance somewhere in the fine print). Every state in the Union had an antisodomy law until 1962, when Illinois became the first state to repeal the law. A steady spread of repeals in twenty-seven more states and the District of Columbia followed—good to know that all that ass-fucking in the nation’s capital has finally been legalized. Of the states where antisodomy laws can still be found in the legal literature, Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, and Texas are unique in that “the unspeakable vice of the Greeks” remains illegal only for homosexuals, whereas Alabama, Florida, Idaho, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Utah, and Virginia forbid it no matter what your sex—or species. Definitions vary: in Rhode Island, for example, where the law was repealed in 1998, sodomy was a felony, an “abominable and detestable crime against nature” meriting seven to twenty years in jail—unless, of course, you were married. Then it was totally okay. To think that you had to get married to get legally “abominable and detestable.” I really respect that sort of legal logic. South Carolina is the only state that still defines sodomy as “buggery,” an affectionate nod, I assume, to the state’s original position as a British colony. This state also claims the impressive distinction of the most prosecutions: between 1954 and 1974, there were no less than 146 buggery cases, resulting in 125 convictions. A 1977 attempt in Oklahoma to repeal its antisodomy law was unsuccessful due to a vote-delaying “chorus of giggles,” according to the official records. In Arkansas, where sodomy was defined as a misdemeanor only for homosexuals, the bill was explicitly “aimed at weirdos and queers who live in a fairyland world and are trying to wreck family life.” Good thing this law was declared unconstitutional in 2002, if only to deflect attention from the Arkansas legislature’s propensity for queer and weirdo prose. Minnesota gets high marks for animal rights: there was once a curious addendum to their law, since repealed, stating that sex “between humans and birds” is strictly prohibited—sounds like some sick fuck got his chicks confused. As a woman who prefers most animals to most people, I will say without reservation that I think this particular statute should be reinstated to prosecute those particular Homo sapiens who threaten the avian community.

• From Summer Sisters (1998)

  She fiddled with the combs in her hair, first taking out one and repositioning it, then the other. The conversation at the table centered on Grandmother’s health. “But you’re looking so well, Mrs. Somers,” Abby told her. “Oh, pfoo,” Grandmother said. Vix had to remind herself that this woman was Regina Mayhew Somers , that she’d once read Valley of the Dolls and Peyton Place . She probably knew all about coitus interruptus . “I’m not well at all,” Grandmother continued. “And those Florida doctors can’t find the problem. But you know who you get down there … doctors looking for sunshine, doctors who want to fish all day or sail boats … and so many of them of the Jewish persuasion. Not that they don’t make good doctors,” she hastily added. “Now, Grandmother …” Lamb said, putting down his fork. “Oh, I knew you would take that wrong!” she cried, as if she were a naughty girl. “But Abby understands, don’t you, dear?” “Yes, I understand completely,” Abby said. “We all understand, Grandmother,” Caitlin added. “Well, that’s good, isn’t it?” Grandmother asked lightly. Regina Mayhew SomersOH, WHAT FUN , making them squirm in their seats! But if they’re going to treat her like some kind of relic she’ll act the part. Not that she’s denying her years … far from it … she’s proud to be an octogenarian. Of course, she doesn’t look a day over sixty-five. She could easily be taken for Lamb’s mother, not his grandmother. There’s still plenty of spunk in the old girl. Caitlin is quite a beauty, isn’t she? She should marry well. What about Charlie Wetheridge’s grandson? An investment banker, she hears. But Caitlin isn’t ready yet, is she? No … she’s just thirteen or fourteen. Bertie’s an odd one. And that noise he makes. Even with her hearing loss it’s obvious. Isn’t Lamb aware? Can’t he do something about it? This salmon is quite tasty, actually. Maybe she’ll ask for a second helping. Good thing the Jew doesn’t go in for those ethnic dishes. She’s heard they have strange dietary habits. DorsetWHAT A NUMBER Grandmother is doing on Abby, calling her the Jew, testing her. And that story about doctors! What doctors? There’s nothing wrong with her. She’ll probably outlive all of them. Ha! Where the fuck is her Percocet? She’d wrapped it in a tissue, hidden it in the pocket of her pants. If they hurry and finish lunch she’ll still have time for a quick trip back to the fish market. Maybe fishboy can get away for an hour. Now there’s a positive thought. What a body, and those lips … she can feel them on her already … on her mouth, her neck, her breasts, between her legs. Yes, think about that, Dorset … that’ll get you through this meal. Where’s her vibrator? In her overnight bag? Maybe she can excuse herself. If she can’t have fishboy she can at least think of him while using her magic pole.

• From Birthday Girl (2018)

  Su labio superior se frunce y justo ahora, está calculando qué tan probable es que pueda salirse con la suya respecto a lo que quiere hacerme con un patio trasero lleno de testigos justo afuera de mi ventana. —Ahora simplemente temo por todas las mujeres con quienes te veo — continúo—, pero secretamente también sonrío, porque sé que después de fingir lo mucho que aman tu polla en la cama, están en el baño, masturbándose con la imagen mental de cualquier tipo en la ciudad que no seas tú. Rápidamente da un paso hacia adelante y me enderezo, dejando caer mis manos y apretando mi puño alrededor de las tijeras. Sus ojos se mueven hacia la herramienta y se detiene. —Sal de mi habitación —le digo, mi tono tranquilo y uniforme—, y no vuelvas a hablarme nunca más. Vacila por un momento. —Ahora —recalco. Su pecho se hunde con respiraciones pesadas y puedo escuchar la furia hirviendo dentro de él. Quiere embestir contra mí con tantas ganas. Pero ni siquiera estoy asustada. No siento nada. Le toma un momento a su orgullo darse cuenta que no llegará muy lejos si decido gritar, pero después de un momento, retrocede y finalmente se da vuelta, desapareciendo por el pasillo. Sus pisadas golpean las escaleras y espero escuchar el golpe seco de la puerta trasera al cerrarse antes de arriesgarme a moverme de nuevo. Puede que no permanezca fuera de mi camino para siempre, pero tiene un historial de decidir que valgo el esfuerzo mínimo antes de pasar a otra persona. Esperemos que siga haciendo eso. Termino de empacar mi ropa y entro al cuarto de baño, recogiendo mi cepillo de dientes, mi afeitadora y mi champú, metiendo todo en mi mochila y cerrándola. Balanceando ambas mochilas en mi hombro, salgo de la habitación, resistiendo el impulso de mirar hacia atrás y bajo las escaleras hacia la sala de estar. Sin embargo, Pike está parado justo antes de atravesar la puerta principal y me detengo, nuestras miradas se encuentran. Mierda. Casi había salido de aquí. —Estaba fuera buscándote —dice—. Solo quería asegurarme que estuvieras bien. Su mirada se dirige a mis bolsas y su puño se cierra alrededor de sus llaves. Su voz se convierte en un susurro. —No lo hagas. Por favor. —¿No haga qué? —Doy un paso hacia adelante—. ¿No me voy o no le digo a Cole? La fiesta ruge afuera y estamos parados en la habitación a oscuras, encerrados en una batalla sin ganador. Es solo una cuestión de quién resulta lastimado y es una decisión que todavía cree que puede no tomarla. Me quiere, pero es un cobarde. —Esto tenía que terminar, ¿cierto? —dice ahogadamente, hablando lo suficientemente alto para que lo escuche—. En diez años, estaré cerca de los jodidos cincuenta. No voy a cargarte con eso. Esto iba a terminar. Sabes que siempre fue así.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  Among the heretics, he attacked chiefly the Valentinian Gnostics, and Marcion. The work against Marcion (A. D. 208) is his largest, and the only one in which he indicates the date of composition, namely the 15th year of the reign of Septimius Severus (A. D. 208).1532 He wrote three works against this famous heretic; the first he set aside as imperfect, the second was stolen from him and published with many blunders before it was finished. In the new work (in five books), he elaborately defends the unity of God, the Creator of all, the integrity of the Scriptures, and the harmony of the Old and New Testaments. He displays all his power of solid argument, subtle sophistry, ridicule and sarcasm, and exhausts his vocabulary of vituperation. He is more severe upon heretics than Jews or Gentiles. He begins with a graphic description of all the physical abnormities of Pontus, the native province of Marcion, and the gloomy temper, wild passions, and ferocious habits of its people, and then goes on to say: "Nothing in Pontus is so barbarous and sad as the fact that Marcion was born there, fouler than any Scythian, more roving than the Sarmatian, more inhuman than the Massagete, more audacious than an Amazon, darker than the cloud of the Euxine, colder than its winter, more brittle than its ice, more deceitful than the Ister, more craggy than Caucasus. Nay, more, the true Prometheus, Almighty God, is mangled by Marcion’s blasphemies. Marcion is more savage than even the beasts of that barbarous region. For what beaver was ever a greater emasculator than he who has abolished the nuptial bond? What Pontic mouse ever had such gnawing powers as he who has gnawed the Gospel to pieces? Verily, O Euxine, thou hast produced a monster more credible to philosophers than to Christians. For the cynic Diogenes used to go about, lantern in hand, at mid-day, to find a man; whereas Marcion has quenched the light of his faith, and so lost the God whom he had found." The tracts "On Baptism" "On the Soul," "On the Flesh of Christ," "On the Resurrection of the Flesh" "Against Hermogenes," "Against Praxeas," are concerned with particular errors, and are important to the doctrine of baptism, to Christian psychology, to eschatology, and christology. 3. His numerous Practical or Ascetic treatises throw much light on the moral life of the early church, as contrasted with the immorality of the heathen world. Among these belong the books "On Prayer" "On Penance" "On Patience,"—a virtue, which he extols with honest confession of his own natural impatience and passionate temper, and which he urges upon himself as well as others,—the consolation of the confessors in prison (Ad Martyres), and the admonition against visiting theatres (De Spectaculis), which he classes with the pomp of the devil, and against all share, direct or indirect, in the worship of idols (De Idololatria).

• From Summer Sisters (1998)

  Her face was still beautiful and hardly wrinkled, even though she had to be really old. Caitlin said Grandmother had plastic surgery the way other people had their teeth cleaned. “She’s got staples in her scalp.” “Staples in her scalp?” “And maybe behind her ears, I’m not sure.” While Vix was contemplating having staples behind her ears Caitlin introduced her to Dorset, Lamb’s sister, who was tall and muscular, with long honey-colored hair held off her face with tortoiseshell combs. She’d been married three times and had been at Hazelden for rehab twice. At the moment she was living with Grandmother in the big house in Palm Beach. Caitlin said anyone who could live with Grandmother Somers deserved a medal. Dorset had a great tan. “No matter what Grandmother says,” Caitlin whispered, “don’t talk back.” “Me, talk back to somebody’s grandmother?” Vix had to laugh it was such an absurd idea. Besides, she was still in shock that the name, Regina Mayhew Somers , neatly printed in green ink inside all the hottest books in the house, belonged to somebody’s grandmother. “A grandmother read those books?” she’d asked Caitlin. “What are grandmothers supposed to read … the Bible?” “I wouldn’t know,” Vix said. “I don’t have any grandparents.” Grandmother Somers was so polite, so refined, that Vix couldn’t believe it when she came inside and after a quick look around, said, “So this is what the Jew did to my house. Well, it’s quite something, isn’t it? Quite a statement.” Vix felt prickles down her spine but she remembered Caitlin’s warning. Don’t talk back . Lamb winced but didn’t say anything either. Vix was grateful Abby was in the kitchen and hadn’t heard Grandmother’s remark. Regina Mayhew SomersSHE TRIES NOT to let her memories of this island intrude. The police at her door on the night of the accident. The hastily arranged double funeral. The realization that it would be up to her and Lamb Senior to raise those tiny orphans, to begin again just when they’d planned on celebrating his retirement with a round-the-world cruise. And his anger at her for devoting herself to the babies! She never could understand that. What was she supposed to do, walk away from her responsibilities? To get out of it he’d keeled over one Friday afternoon at the club, on the seventeenth hole, dumping it all in her lap. The children, the responsibilities, and, yes, the money. Not that the Mayhews didn’t have their own. She’d trusted Charlie Wetheridge to advise her, until Charlie had gone and died on her, too, literally, in bed at the Ritz. She’d stayed close with Lucy, his widow, who’d never suspected Charlie was more to her than a financial counselor. No, it wasn’t easy, raising two children by yourself in those days. And having to listen to that awful music. Elvis, and then those English boys. And the most unbecoming clothes and hairdos.

• From Summer Sisters (1998)

  SharkeyWHAT A JOKE his family is, sitting at the table with the Old Bird, every one of them wishing they were someplace else. And what’s Dorset thinking about with that weird little smile on her face? She’s not bad looking, his aunt. No trouble picturing her in underwear. The old-fashioned kind, white cotton panties, pointy bra. Like in the old Sears catalog he keeps hidden in his closet. Probably goes back to the Old Bird’s day. So what? Wonder what Vix is thinking, licking the crumbs off the corner of her mouth when she thinks no one’s looking … like a cat. He’s got to get back to work. Zach’s going to be real glad he hired him. He can do a whole lot more than pump gas. He’s almost sure he can convince Lamb the Datsun truck makes sense. Twenty thousand miles. Almost new. Jet black. Like something James Bond might drive if he drove a truck. Perfect for next summer when he has his license. With a VIP plate spelling out SHRKY. Then Carly can write a song about him. Nobody Does It Better … [image file=Image00006.jpg] ALL THROUGH LUNCH Vix watched as Caitlin seethed. She waited for the explosion, surprised when it didn’t come. It wasn’t until later, after Grandmother and Dorset left, that Caitlin stormed into the kitchen where Abby and Lamb were cleaning up. “I don’t see how you can stand it,” Caitlin said to Abby. “She’s such a prejudiced old bitch!” Abby looked stunned. So did Lamb. “I won’t have you bad-mouthing Grandmother!” Lamb said in a tone Vix had never heard him use. “I wouldn’t have to if you’d tell her off yourself.” “If it weren’t for Grandmother—” Lamb began. Caitlin cut him off. “What? You’d have been sent on the orphan train?” “Watch your step, Caitlin.” “It’s disgusting, the way you just let her say anything … without thinking how it comes across to the rest of us!” “That’s it!” Lamb said. “Go to your room.” “Oh, please … isn’t it a little late in the game for sending me to my room?” Abby reached out and touched Caitlin’s hand. “Thank you, Caitlin. It means a lot to me that you care.” Caitlin pulled away. “Don’t take it personally,” she said. “I was talking about prejudice in general. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I believe I’m being punished!” Upstairs, in their room, Vix wondered herself why Lamb let Grandmother Somers get away with those rude remarks. She didn’t have to ask. Caitlin volun teered the information. “You know what it’s all about? Money! You don’t tell off the one who controls the big stuff.” Oh, the Big Stuff . She couldn’t believe how naive she’d been, assuming Lamb was struggling to support his family, because who did she think paid for the fancy house, the new Sunfish, the camera Lamb and Abby gave her for her birthday—a gift so extravagant, she’d never show her parents?

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  Caecilius speaks first (chs. 5–15), in defence of the heathen, and in opposition to the Christian, religion. He begins like a sceptic or agnostic concerning the existence of a God as being doubtful, but he soon shifts his ground, and on the principle of expediency and utility he urges the duty of worshipping the ancestral gods. It is best to adhere to what the experience of all nations has found to be salutary. Every nation has its peculiar god or gods; the Roman nation, the most religious of all, allows the worship of all gods, and thus attained to the highest power and prosperity. He charges the Christians with presumption for claiming a certain knowledge of the highest problems which lie beyond human ken; with want of patriotism for forsaking the ancestral traditions; with low breeding (as Celsus did). He ridicules their worship of a crucified malefactor and the instrument of his crucifixion, and even an ass’s head. He repeats the lies of secret crimes, as promiscuous incest, and the murder of innocent children, and quotes for these slanders the authority of the celebrated orator Fronto. He objects to their religion that it has no temples, nor altars, nor images. He attacks their doctrines of one God, of the destruction of the present world, the resurrection and judgment, as irrational and absurd. He pities them for their austere habits and their aversion to the theatre, banquets, and other innocent enjoyments. He concludes with the re-assertion of human ignorance of things which are above us, and an exhortation to leave those uncertain things alone, and to adhere to the religion of their fathers, "lest either a childish superstition should be introduced, or all religion should be overthrown."

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  What great and wonderful things have your philosophers effected? They leave uncovered one of their shoulders; they let their hair grow long; they cultivate their beards; their nails are like the claws of wild beasts. Though they say that they want nothing, yet, like Proteus [the Cynic, Proteus Peregrinus known to us from Lucian], they need a currier for their wallet, and a weaver for their mantle, and a woodcutter for their staff, and they need the rich [to invite them to banquets], and a cook also for their gluttony. O man competing with the dog [cynic philosopher], you know not God, and so have turned to the imitation of an irrational animal. You cry out in public with an assumption of authority, and take upon you to avenge your own self; and if you receive nothing, you indulge in abuse, for philosophy is with you the art of getting money. You follow the doctrines of Plato, and a disciple of Epicurus lifts up his voice to oppose you. Again, you wish to be a disciple of Aristotle, and a follower of Democritus rails at you. Pythagoras says that he was Euphorbus, and he is the heir of the doctrine of Pherecydes, but Aristotle impugns the immortality of the soul. You who receive from your predecessors doctrines which clash with one another, you the inharmonious, are fighting against the harmonious. One of you asserts "that God is body," but I assert that He is without body; "that the world is indestructible," but I assert that it is to be destroyed; "that a conflagration will take place at various times," but I say that it will come to pass once for all; "that Minos and Rhadamanthus are judges," but I say that God Himself is Judge; "that the soul alone is endowed with immortality," but I say that the flesh also is endowed with it. What injury do we inflict upon you, O Greeks? Why do you hate those who follow the word of God, as if they were the vilest of mankind? It is not we who eat human flesh—they among you who assert such a thing have been suborned as false witnesses; it is among you that Pelops is made a supper for the gods, although beloved by Poseidon; and Kronos devours his children, and Zeus swallows Metis."

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  The very numerous Latin and Italian books and fugitive tracts of Vergerio are chiefly polemical against the Roman hierarchy of which he had so long been a conspicuous member.241 He exposed, with the intemperate zeal of a proselyte, the chronique scandaleuse of the papacy, including the mythical woman-pope, Johanna (John VIII.), who was then generally believed to have really existed.242 He agreed with Luther that the papacy was an invention of the Devil; that the pope was the very Antichrist seated in the temple of God as predicted by Daniel (11:36) and Paul (2 Thess. 2:3 sq.), and the beast of the Apocalypse; and that he would soon be destroyed by a divine judgment. He attacked all the contemporary popes, except Adrian VI., to whom he gives credit for honesty and earnestness. He is especially severe on "Saul IV." (Paul IV.), who as Cardinal Caraffa had made some wise and bold utterances on the corruption of the clergy, but since his elevation to the "apostate chair, which corrupts every one who ascends it," had become the leader of the Counter-Reformation with its measures of violence and blood. Such monsters, he says, are the popes. One contradicts the other, and yet they are all infallible, and demand absolute submission. Rather die a thousand times than have any communion with popery and fall away from Christ, the Son of God, who was crucified for us and rose from the dead. Popery and the gospel are as incompatible as darkness and light, as Belial and Christ. No compromise is possible between them. Vergerio was hardly less severe on the cardinals and bishops, although he allowed some honorable exceptions. He attacked and ridiculed the Council of Trent, then in session, and tried to show that it was neither general, nor free, nor Christian. He used the same arguments against it as the Old Catholics used against the Vatican Council of 1870. He repelled the charge of heresy and turned it against his former co-religionists. The Protestants who follow the Word of God are orthodox, the Romanists who follow the traditions of men are the heretics. His anti-popery writings were read with great avidity by his contemporaries, but are now forgotten. Bullinger was unfavorably impressed, and found in them no solid substance, but only frivolous mockery and abuse.