Chagrin

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From The Decameron (1353)

  Meanwhile, Biancofiore, finding that Salabaetto had left Palermo, began to marvel and wax misdoubtful and after having awaited him good two months, seeing that he came not, she caused the broker force open the magazines. Trying first the casks, which she believed to be filled with oil, she found them full of seawater, save that there was in each maybe a runlet of oil at the top near the bunghole. Then, undoing the bales, she found them all full of tow, with the exception of two, which were stuffs; and in brief, with all that was there, there was not more than two hundred florins' worth. Wherefore Biancofiore, confessing herself outwitted, long lamented the five hundred florins repaid and yet more the thousand lent, saying often, 'Who with a Tuscan hath to do, Must nor be blind nor see askew.' On this wise, having gotten nothing for her pains but loss and scorn, she found, to her cost, that some folk know as much as others." * * * * *

• From Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist's Memoir (2017)

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN YIKES! TEXT THERAPY F or over fifteen years I led a supervision group of practicing therapists in San Francisco. During our third year we accepted a new member, an analyst relocating in San Francisco after a long career back east. The first case she presented to the group was a patient living in New York, whom she was continuing to meet via phone sessions. Phone sessions! I was appalled! How can one possibly do decent treatment without actually seeing the patient? Wouldn’t the therapist miss all the nuances—the mingled glances, the facial expressions, the smiles, the nods, the handshakes at departure—so absolutely essential to the intimacy of the therapeutic relationship? I told her, “You can’t do long-distance therapy! You can’t treat someone who is not in your office.” God, what a prig I was! She held her ground and insisted that the therapy was proceeding quite well, thank you very much. I doubted it and continued to eye her suspiciously for several months until I conceded that she knew exactly what she was doing. My opinion about long-distance therapy evolved further about six years ago when I received an email from a patient pleading for help and requesting therapy by Skype. She lived in an extremely isolated part of the world where no therapist was available within five hundred miles. In fact, because of an overwhelmingly painful rupture in a relationship, she had deliberately chosen to immigrate to such a remote place. She felt so raw that, if she lived nearby, I’m certain she would not have been willing to meet me, or any other therapist, face-to-face in an office. I had never done therapy via Skype before, and, given my doubts about the method, I hesitated. But since there was no other option for her, I finally decided to accept her for video therapy (but without mentioning this to any of my colleagues). For over a year, she and I met via Skype weekly. With her face filling my computer screen, I began to feel close to her, and within a very short time, the thousands of miles separating us seemed to evaporate. At the end of our year together she had made much progress in therapy, and since then I have seen a great many patients from such faraway countries as South Africa, Turkey, Australia, France, Germany, Italy, and the UK. I now believe there is little difference in outcome between my live therapy and my video therapy. However, I do make a point of selecting patients carefully. I do not use this medium for severely ill patients in need of medication and possible hospitalization. T hree years ago, when I first heard about text therapy, in which therapists and clients communicate entirely by texting, I was once again repelled. THERAPY BY TEXTING! YIKES! It seemed a distortion, a dehumanization, a parody of the therapy process. It was a step too far!

• From Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist's Memoir (2017)

  Stanley had been invalided by polio and used a wheelchair. Every night he regularly trolled for plots and characters by listening to talk radio. After Bellagio we spent the remaining four months of our sabbatical in Paris, renting an apartment on the Boulevard Port Royal. Marilyn wrote at home and I in an outdoor café near the Panthéon, where I finished the last four stories. Once again, I took my daily French lessons—alas, as always, to no avail—and late afternoons and evenings we strolled through the city and had dinner with her Parisian friends. Writing in an outdoor café agreed with me and I wrote with unusual efficiency. Later, when I returned home, I found an outdoor café in San Francisco in North Beach (Café Malvino) with good writing vibes, where I continued the practice. Since I meant this to be a collection of teaching tales for young therapists, I set out to write a few paragraphs at the end of each story that elaborated upon the theoretical points illustrated within. That idea proved unwieldy, and instead I spent several weeks writing a sixty-page teaching epilogue to appear at the end of the book. Then I mailed the manuscript to my publisher with a sense of great satisfaction. Two or three weeks later, Phoebe Hoss, the Basic Books editor assigned to the book, contacted me. Phoebe was an editor from hell (but also from heaven) and we were destined for an epic battle. As I recall, Phoebe did only minor editing of the stories except at one point to insert a phrase, “an avalanche of flesh,” into the fat lady story. That phrase sticks in my mind because it is the only gratuitous phrase any editor has ever added (even though I often wished for more). But then, when Phoebe read my long epilogue, she went berserk and insisted I ditch it entirely. She was absolutely sure that no final theoretical explanation was needed and that the stories would speak for themselves. Phoebe and I had a major war, battling for months. I submitted one version of the epilogue after another, and each was returned to me cruelly shortened until, after several months, she had reduced my sixty pages to ten and insisted it be moved to the front of the book. As I reread the book today, beginning with the succinct prologue, I am chagrined by memories of my fierce resistance: Phoebe, a blessed editor, whose like I would never again encounter, was absolutely right. When the book was to be released Marilyn and I flew to New York for the publisher’s publication party—such events, now rare, were common in that era. The party was scheduled for a Monday evening, but a negative review in the Sunday New York Times put a damper on everyone’s spirits. The format of the book had very few precedents: only some of Freud’s case histories and Robert Lindner’s The Fifty-Minute Hour , about patients in hypnotherapy, came close.

• From Lost Christianities: Christian Scriptures and the Battles over Authentication (2002)

  45 to kill the child, Jesus. They escape to Egypt and resettle in Nazareth afterward, for fear of Herod’s son. In any event, the only New Testament stories of Jesus as a child come from these accounts (his À ight to Egypt and an account in Luke of him as a twelve-year-old, discussing matters of the law in the Temple in Jerusalem). Christians later began to wonder, though, about the events of his birth and young life. Why was Mary chosen to bear Jesus? How could he be the Son of God if she were not someone special? How was she born? How did she maintain her holiness? What was Jesus like as a child? What was he doing then? How did he manifest his power and character as the Son of God in the household of Joseph and Mary in Nazareth? These are the questions that the so-called Infancy Gospels are designed to answer. One of the most signi¿ cant gospels in the Middle Ages was the Proto-Gospel of James. It is called a proto-gospel because it narrates events leading up to Jesus’ birth. It is actually an account of Mary’s birth and upbringing, designed to show that she was chosen by God as a worthy vessel for the Son of God she was to bear. We won’t be able to consider all of the details of the text here, simply some of its more notable features. According to this account, Mary herself was born supernaturally, in a way similar to and modeled on the account of the birth of the prophet Samuel in the Hebrew Bible. She was completely dedicated to God by her mother Anna and sent at the age of three to live in the Temple, where she was raised in absolute purity and fed by an angel. At twelve, she was given in marriage to Joseph, an elderly widower with grown children. To his initial chagrin, though, she became pregnant (through the Holy Spirit). The account of the birth of Jesus itself is told in interesting detail He is born in a grotto outside of Bethlehem. When Jesus is born, Joseph, outside the grotto, sees the time come to a halt (ch. 18). A midwife who comes to assist in the birth performs a postpartum inspection and veri¿ es in amazement that, indeed, Mary is still completely intact. The account ends with the attempt of Christians later began to wonder, though, about the events of [Jesus’] birth and young life.

• From Lost Christianities: Christian Scriptures and the Battles over Authentication (2002)

  32 Lecture 7: Gnostics Explain Themselves Gnostics Explain Themselves Lecture 7 Let’s see how two different gnostic teachers tried to convince friendly non-gnostic Christians of their understanding of important aspects of their faith. Both the documents were addressed to proto-orthodox Christians who were, however, genuinely interested in key aspects of the gnostic point of view. I n both cases, the authors appear completely reasonable, trying to convince proto-orthodox Christians of the gnostic perspective by appealing to the teachings of Jesus and his followers. In both cases, however, the perspectives advanced differ signi ¿ cantly from those taken by proto-orthodox Christians. Ptolemy’s Letter to Flora is an interesting and compelling explanation of a gnostic understanding of Scripture. Unlike the other gnostic texts we’re considering, this one does not come from Nag Hammadi but is preserved for us in the writings of the fourth-century heresiologist Epiphanius. Around 360 A.D., Epiphanius wrote a book called the Panarion (= medicine chest). In the book, he catalogs eighty different heresies that had sprouted up over the course of history. Epiphanius likens the heresies to serpents that are trying to bite orthodox Christians and inject them with heresy. His book is meant to provide the antidote. Ptolemy himself was a famous Christian Gnostic of the late second century, best known as the pupil of Valentinus (possibly the author of the Gospel of Truth). Unfortunately, we know nothing further about the woman named Flora, to whom he addresses his letter. The letter itself, though, is a clear exposition of this particular Gnostic’s understanding of the Old Testament. Strikingly, the author does not simply state his views as “gospel truth” but reasons with his hearer, basing his understanding on logic and the words of Jesus, trying to get her to understand the nature of the Scripture. It is important to recall that different early Christians had different views of the nature of the Jewish Scriptures (cf. Marcion and the Ebionites!). Ptolemy’s understanding is based on both his gnostic assumptions and the words of Jesus.

• From Lost Christianities: Christian Scriptures and the Battles over Authentication (2002)

  to kill the child, Jesus. They escape to Egypt and resettle in Nazareth afterward, for fear of Herod’s son. In any event, the only New Testament stories of Jesus as a child come from these accounts (his (cid:192) ight to Egypt and an account in Luke of him as a twelve-year-old, discussing matters of the law in the Temple in Jerusalem). Christians later began to wonder, though, about the events of his birth and young life. Why was Mary chosen to bear Jesus? How could he be the Son of God if she were not someone special? How was she born? How did she maintain her holiness? What was Jesus like as a child? What was he doing then? How did he manifest his power and character as the Son of God in the household of Joseph and Mary in Nazareth? These are the Christians later questions that the so-called Infancy Gospels are began to wonder, designed to answer. though, about the events of [Jesus’] One of the most signi(cid:191) cant gospels in the Middle birth and young life. Ages was the Proto-Gospel of James. It is called a proto-gospel because it narrates events leading up to Jesus’ birth. It is actually an account of Mary’s birth and upbringing, designed to show that she was chosen by God as a worthy vessel for the Son of God she was to bear. We won’t be able to consider all of the details of the text here, simply some of its more notable features. According to this account, Mary herself was born supernaturally, in a way similar to and modeled on the account of the birth of the prophet Samuel in the Hebrew Bible. She was completely dedicated to God by her mother Anna and sent at the age of three to live in the Temple, where she was raised in absolute purity and fed by an angel. At twelve, she was given in marriage to Joseph, an elderly widower with grown children. To his initial chagrin, though, she became pregnant (through the Holy Spirit). The account of the birth of Jesus itself is told in interesting detail He is born in a grotto outside of Bethlehem. When Jesus is born, Joseph, outside the grotto, sees the time come to a halt (ch. 18). A midwife who comes to assist in the birth performs a postpartum inspection and veri(cid:191) es in amazement that, indeed, Mary is still completely intact. The account ends with the attempt of 45

• From The Decameron (1353)

  The time being now come for the crusade and great preparations made everywhere, Messer Torello, notwithstanding the tears and entreaties of his wife, was altogether resolved to go thereon and having made his every provision and being about to take horse, he said to his lady, whom he loved over all, 'Wife, as thou seest, I go on this crusade, as well for the honour of my body as for the health of my soul. I commend to thee our affairs and our honour, and for that I am certain of the going, but of the returning, for a thousand chances that may betide, I have no assurance, I will have thee do me a favour, to wit, that whatever befall of me, an thou have not certain news of my life, thou shalt await me a year and a month and a day, ere thou marry again, beginning from this the day of my departure.' The lady, who wept sore, answered, 'Messer Torello, I know not how I shall endure the chagrin wherein you leave me by your departure; but, an my life prove stronger than my grief and aught befall you, you may live and die assured that I shall live and die the wife of Messer Torello and of his memory.' 'Wife,' rejoined Messer Torello, 'I am very certain that, inasmuch as in thee lieth, this that thou promisest me will come to pass; but thou art a young woman and fair and of high family and thy worth is great and everywhere known; wherefore I doubt not but many great and noble gentlemen will, should aught be misdoubted of me,[475] demand thee of thy brethren and kinsfolk; from whose importunities, how much soever thou mightest wish, thou wilt not be able to defend thyself and it will behove thee perforce comply with their wishes; and this is why I ask of thee this term and not a greater one.' Quoth the lady, 'I will do what I may of that which I have told you, and should it nevertheless behove me to do otherwise, I will assuredly obey you in this that you enjoin me; but I pray God that He bring nor you nor me to such an extremity in these days.' This said, she embraced him, weeping, and drawing a ring from her finger, gave it to him, saying, 'And it chance that I die ere I see you again, remember me when you look upon this ring.' [Footnote 475: _i.e._ should any rumour get wind of death.]

• From Lost Christianities: Christian Scriptures and the Battles over Authentication (2002)

  45 to kill the child, Jesus. They escape to Egypt and resettle in Nazareth afterward, for fear of Herod’s son. In any event, the only New Testament stories of Jesus as a child come from these accounts (his À ight to Egypt and an account in Luke of him as a twelve-year-old, discussing matters of the law in the Temple in Jerusalem). Christians later began to wonder, though, about the events of his birth and young life. Why was Mary chosen to bear Jesus? How could he be the Son of God if she were not someone special? How was she born? How did she maintain her holiness? What was Jesus like as a child? What was he doing then? How did he manifest his power and character as the Son of God in the household of Joseph and Mary in Nazareth? These are the questions that the so-called Infancy Gospels are designed to answer. One of the most signi¿ cant gospels in the Middle Ages was the Proto-Gospel of James. It is called a proto-gospel because it narrates events leading up to Jesus’ birth. It is actually an account of Mary’s birth and upbringing, designed to show that she was chosen by God as a worthy vessel for the Son of God she was to bear. We won’t be able to consider all of the details of the text here, simply some of its more notable features. According to this account, Mary herself was born supernaturally, in a way similar to and modeled on the account of the birth of the prophet Samuel in the Hebrew Bible. She was completely dedicated to God by her mother Anna and sent at the age of three to live in the Temple, where she was raised in absolute purity and fed by an angel. At twelve, she was given in marriage to Joseph, an elderly widower with grown children. To his initial chagrin, though, she became pregnant (through the Holy Spirit). The account of the birth of Jesus itself is told in interesting detail He is born in a grotto outside of Bethlehem. When Jesus is born, Joseph, outside the grotto, sees the time come to a halt (ch. 18). A midwife who comes to assist in the birth performs a postpartum inspection and veri¿ es in amazement that, indeed, Mary is still completely intact. The account ends with the attempt of Christians later began to wonder, though, about the events of [Jesus’] birth and young life.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  Accordingly, Bruno posted off to Master Simone and coming thither before the girl who brought the water, acquainted him with the case; wherefore, the maid being come and the physician, having seen the water, he said to her, 'Begone and bid Calandrino keep himself well warm, and I will come to him incontinent and tell him that which aileth him and what he must do.' The maid reported this to her master nor was it long before the physician and Bruno came, whereupon the former, seating himself beside Calandrino, fell to feeling his pulse and presently, the patient's wife being there present, he said, 'Harkye, Calandrino, to speak to thee as a friend, there aileth thee nought but that thou art with child.' When Calandrino heard this, he fell a-roaring for dolour and said, 'Woe's me! Tessa, this is thy doing, for that thou wilt still be uppermost; I told thee how it would be.' The lady, who was a very modest person, hearing her husband speak thus, blushed all red for shamefastness and hanging her head, went out of the room, without answering a word; whilst Calandrino, pursuing his complaint, said, 'Alack, wretch that I am! How shall I do? How shall I bring forth this child? Whence shall he issue? I see plainly I am a dead man, through the mad lust of yonder wife of mine, whom God make as woeful as I would fain be glad! Were I as well as I am not, I would arise and deal her so many and such buffets that I would break every bone in her body; albeit it e'en serveth me right, for that I should never have suffered her get the upper hand; but, for certain, an I come off alive this time, she may die of desire ere she do it again.'

• From The Decameron (1353)

  When he had sojourned there a pretty while and had taken particular note of the king's fashions, himseemed he bestowed castles and cities and baronies now upon one and now upon another with little enough discretion, as giving them to those who were unworthy thereof, and for that to him, who held himself for that which he was, nothing was given, he conceived that his repute would be much abated by reason thereof; wherefore he determined to depart and craved leave of the king. The latter granted him the leave he sought and gave him one of the best and finest mules that ever was ridden, the which, for the long journey he had to make, was very acceptable to Messer Ruggieri. Moreover, he charged a discreet servant of his that he should study, by such means as seemed to him best, to ride with Messer Ruggieri on such wise that he should not appear to have been sent by the king, and note everything he should say of him, so as he might avail to repeat it to him, and that on the ensuing morning he should command him return to the court. Accordingly, the servant, lying in wait for Messer Ruggieri's departure, accosted him, as he came forth the city, and very aptly joined company with him, giving him to understand that he also was bound for Italy. Messer Ruggieri, then, fared on, riding the mule given him by the king and devising of one thing and another with the latter's servant, till hard upon tierce, when he said, 'Methinketh it were well done to let our beasts stale.' Accordingly, they put them up in a stable and they all staled, except the mule; then they rode on again, whilst the squire still took note of the gentleman's words, and came presently to a river, where, as they watered their cattle, the mule staled in the stream; which Messer Ruggieri seeing, 'Marry,' quoth he, 'God confound thee, beast, for that thou art made after the same fashion as the prince who gave thee to me!' The squire noted these words and albeit he took store of many others, as he journeyed with him all that day, he heard him say nought else but what was to the highest praise of the king.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  The lady's affairs at Pavia being at this pass and there lacking maybe eight days of the term appointed for her going to her new husband, it chanced that Messer Torello espied one day in Alexandria one whom he had seen embark with the Genoese ambassadors on board the galley that was to carry them back to Genoa, and calling him, asked him what manner voyage they had had and when they had reached Genoa; whereto the other replied, 'Sir, the galleon (as I heard in Crete, where I remained,) made an ill voyage; for that, as she drew near unto Sicily, there arose a furious northerly wind, which drove her on to the Barbary quicksands, nor was any one saved; and amongst the rest two brothers of mine perished there.' Messer Torello, giving credit to his words, which were indeed but too true, and remembering him that the term required by him of his wife ended a few days thence, concluded that nothing could be known at Pavia of his condition and held it for certain that the lady must have married again; wherefore he fell into such a chagrin that he lost [sleep and] appetite and taking to his bed, determined to die. When Saladin, who loved him above all, heard of this, he came to him and having, by dint of many and urgent prayers, learned the cause of his grief and his sickness, upbraided him sore for that he had not before told it to him and after besought him to be comforted, assuring him that, if he would but take heart, he would so contrive that he should be in Pavia at the appointed term and told him how. Messer Torello, putting faith in Saladin's words and having many a time heard say that this was possible and had indeed been often enough done, began to take comfort and pressed Saladin to despatch. The Soldan accordingly charged a nigromancer of his, of whose skill he had aforetime made proof, to cast about for a means whereby Messer Torello should be in one night transported upon a bed to Pavia, to which the magician replied that it should be done, but that, for the gentleman's own weal, he must put him to sleep.

• From Confessions of the Flesh (The History of Sexuality, Vol. 4) (2021)

  The Exhortation to Chastity, a text addressed by Tertullian to a recently widowed brother, seems, on the contrary, to absorb into virginity an ensemble of different behaviors or statuses. But there again, virginity in the strict sense is not isolated as a mode of living or a particular experience. Virginity in general is defined as a “sanctification,” a sanctification as God’s will, and what that will wills is that, being created in his image, we resemble him. So there are three degrees of virginity: the one bestowed on us at birth which, if we preserve it, allows us to be unaware of its own confinement, which we will later wish to be liberated from; the one that a person receives from second birth in baptism and practices either in marriage or in widowhood; and lastly the one that Tertullian calls “monogamy” and that, after the interruption constituted by marriage, renounces sex. Tertullian ascribes a specific quality to each of these three degrees. Felicitas to the first; virtus to the second; and to the third this same virtus plus modestia.5 Now the meaning to be given to these qualifications and their hierarchy is made very clear by a passage from the Veiling of Virgins.6 There Tertullian asks himself whether “continence is superior to virginity”—be it continence practiced in widowhood or exercised by joint agreement in marriage. On virginity’s side of things, there is the grace that one receives; on the side of continence, virtue. Here, the difficulty of fighting concupiscence; there, the ease of not desiring what one doesn’t know. One can see the two tendencies that emerge from these texts: giving abstinence a general value, as a means for approaching a sanctified existence, a prelude to that time when the resurrected flesh will no longer know gender difference;7 and, in the general framework of this abstinence, not granting any privileged status or preeminent position to virginity in the strict sense, even if one does indicate its place and its specificity. In reality, it’s a strict morality of continence—much more than a spiritual valorization of virginity—that runs through these texts by Tertullian. In these texts, one can even recognize a resistance to any practice that would impart a special meaning or a particular status to the virginity of women.8

• From The Decameron (1353)

  [Footnote 458: _Per amore amiate_ (Fr. aimiez par amour).] These words stung the king's conscience to the quick and afflicted him the more inasmuch as he knew them for true; wherefore, after sundry heavy sighs, he said, 'Certes, Count, I hold every other enemy, however strong, weak and eath enough to the well-lessoned warrior to overcome in comparison with his own appetites; natheless, great as is the travail and inexpressible as is the might it requireth, your words have so stirred me that needs must I, ere many days be past, cause you see by deed that, like as I know how to conquer others, even so do I know how to overcome myself.' Nor had many days passed after this discourse when the king, having returned to Naples, determined, as well to deprive himself of occasion to do dishonourably as to requite the gentleman the hospitality received from him, to go about (grievous as it was to him to make others possessors of that which he coveted over all for himself) to marry the two young ladies, and that not as Messer Neri's daughters, but as his own. Accordingly, with Messer Neri's accord, he dowered them magnificently and gave Ginevra the Fair to Messer Maffeo da Palizzi and Isotta the Blonde to Messer Guglielmo della Magna, both noble cavaliers and great barons, to whom with inexpressible chagrin consigning them, he betook himself into Apulia, where with continual fatigues he so mortified the fierceness of his appetite that, having burst and broken the chains of love, he abode free of such passion for the rest of his life. There are some belike who will say that it was a little thing for a king to have married two young ladies, and that I will allow; but a great and a very great thing I call it, if we consider that it was a king enamoured who did this and who married to another her whom he loved, without having gotten or taking of his love leaf or flower or fruit. On this wise, then, did this magnanimous king, at once magnificently guerdoning the noble gentleman, laudably honouring the young ladies whom he loved and bravely overcoming himself." THE SEVENTH STORY [Day the Tenth] KING PEDRO OF ARRAGON, COMING TO KNOW THE FERVENT LOVE BORNE HIM BY LISA, COMFORTETH THE LOVE-SICK MAID AND PRESENTLY MARRIETH HER TO A NOBLE YOUNG GENTLEMAN; THEN, KISSING HER ON THE BROW, HE EVER AFTER AVOUCHETH HIMSELF HER KNIGHT

• From Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty (1999)

  Of course, such signals are now manipulated by cosmetics, plastic surgery, and clothing, three giant industries in part devoted to false advertising. Additionally, one cannot escape a comment on the irony of sexual attraction: in a world where men and women try to stave off pregnancy for the majority of their sexual encounters, sexual preference is still guided by ancient rules that make us most attracted to bodies that look the most reproductively fit. Nor can we escape the jarring thought that women compete in the mating world for men whose brains are hard-wired to find nubile teenagers highly desirable and particularly beautiful. This is not a conscious process nor a desired one but a biological holdover from a vanished way of life. Is it resistible? The reaction to beauty may be automatic, but our thoughts and our behaviors are ultimately under our control. We begin to look at the science of beauty in Chapter 2 by focusing on the least controversial aspect of the theory: why we find babies irresistibly attractive. We will also look at more controversial research suggesting that parents respond more affectionately to physically attractive newborns. Finally, we will review the research on infants’ perceptions and see that even at three months of age they are gazing longer at attractive faces than at unattractive faces. Infants appear to come into the world equipped with the ability to discriminate and prefer the beautiful. This has been some of the most powerful research showing that beauty preferences are not learned. In the next two chapters we will examine the powerful impact of beauty in everyday life. Beauty influences our perceptions, attitudes, and behavior toward others. Economist David Marks has said that beauty is as potent a social force as race or sex. But unlike racism and sexism, which we are conscious of, “lookism,” or beauty prejudice, operates at a largely unconscious level. These studies put some of our extreme beauty practices in perspective. People are spending billions of dollars on cosmetics and plastic surgery for a reason: these industries cater to a world where looking good has survival value. Although most people would say they no longer believe that “what is beautiful is good,” preferential treatment of beautiful people is extremely easy to demonstrate, as is discrimination against the unattractive. From infancy to adulthood, beautiful people are treated preferentially and viewed more positively. This is true for men as well as women. Beautiful people find sexual partners more easily; and beautiful individuals are more likely to find leniency in the court and elicit cooperation from strangers. Beauty conveys modest but real social and economic advantages and, equally important, ugliness leads to major social disadvantages and discrimination. Do beautiful people end up being happier? The answer may surprise you.

• From Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty (1999)

  Until recently we could afford to eat what we wanted because the food supply was limited in both quantity and variety (as anthropologist Napoleon Chagnon has said, hearts of palm may be a delicacy in the United States, but when he lived with the tribal Yanomamo and had only hearts of palm to eat at times, they lost their appeal). And until this century our output matched our input. We had to be active because there were no cars to transport us, supermarkets to provide us with packaged foods, gadgets to do our household chores, and stores of every variety to provide for our every need. In the world in which we evolved, it made sense to hoard rest time. Today we may spend the day sitting on an office chair, then sitting in the car, and finally spend the night sitting on the couch watching television, all the while trying to force ourselves to get on the treadmill or go to the health club. Why we became obese is not mysterious; we have plentiful food, bodies not equipped with sufficient brakes for fats and sweets, and we have arranged the world so we need less and less physical exertion to survive. We are forced to do the unnatural: refuse food and engage in purposeless activity for the sake of burning it off and keeping our bodies tuned up. What took centuries to develop in other cultures happened quickly in islands like the Tongan cluster in the South Pacific. A 1986 survey found that two thirds of Tongan women in their forties were obese; diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease were epidemic and life expectancy had decreased. Rapid changes in lifestyle caused the epidemic of obesity. Cars were introduced, and foods were imported for people who had eaten yams, manioc, and fish that they had either planted or caught. Without knowledge of health disadvantages or an aesthetic of thinness to rein in the appetite, many happy Tongans were eating whole loaves of bread spread with half a pound of butter, and ice cream. Mutton flaps too fat and greasy to be considered edible by New Zealanders were shipped over and became a favorite fried daily staple. The World Health Organization needed to convince their leader King Taufa’ahau Tupou IV of the importance of weight loss. Like many leaders, the king was a big man—he was six feet two and weighed 441 pounds. In 1976 he had been listed as the world’s heaviest ruler. Convinced that he needed to restore the reputation of Tongans as strong athletes and not fatties, the king slimmed down and had his gym sessions videotaped for the masses. They now join many Westerners in dieting and yet remain overweight.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  You must know, then, that there was once in our city a very rich merchant called Arriguccio Berlinghieri, who, foolishly thinking, as merchants yet do every day, to ennoble himself by marriage, took to wife a young gentlewoman ill sorting with himself, by name Madam Sismonda, who, for that he, merchant-like, was much abroad and sojourned little with her, fell in love with a young man called Ruberto, who had long courted her, and clapped up a lover's privacy with him. Using belike over-little discretion in her dealings with her lover, for that they were supremely delightsome to her, it chanced that, whether Arriguccio scented aught of the matter or how else soever it happened, the latter became the most jealous man alive and leaving be his going about and all his other concerns, applied himself well nigh altogether to the keeping good watch over his wife; nor would he ever fall asleep, except he first felt her come into the bed; by reason whereof the lady suffered the utmost chagrin, for that on no wise might she avail to be with her Ruberto. However, after pondering many devices for finding a means to foregather with him and being to boot continually solicited thereof by him, it presently occurred to her to do on this wise; to wit, having many a time observed that Arriguccio tarried long to fall asleep, but after slept very soundly, she determined to cause Ruberto come about midnight to the door of the house and to go open to him and abide with him what while her husband slept fast. And that she might know when he should be come, she bethought herself to hang a twine out of the window of her bedchamber, which looked upon the street, on such wise that none might perceive it, one end whereof should well nigh reach the ground, whilst she carried the other end along the floor of the room to the bed and hid it under the clothes, meaning to make it fast to her great toe, whenas she should be abed. Accordingly, she sent to acquaint Ruberto with this and charged him, when he came, to pull the twine, whereupon, if her husband slept, she would let it go and come to open to him; but, if he slept not, she would hold it fast and draw it to herself, so he should not wait. The device pleased Ruberto and going thither frequently, he was whiles able to foregather with her and whiles not.

• From Little Women (1868)

  March mildly observed, "salad was one of the favorite dishes of the ancients, and Evelyn..." Here a general explosion of laughter cut short the 'history of salads', to the great surprise of the learned gentleman. "Bundle everything into a basket and send it to the Hummels. Germans like messes. I'm sick of the sight of this, and there's no reason you should all die of a surfeit because I've been a fool," cried Amy, wiping her eyes. "I thought I should have died when I saw you two girls rattling about in the what-you-call-it, like two little kernels in a very big nutshell, and Mother waiting in state to receive the throng," sighed Jo, quite spent with laughter. "I'm very sorry you were disappointed, dear, but we all did our best to satisfy you," said Mrs. March, in a tone full of motherly regret. "I am satisfied. I've done what I undertook, and it's not my fault that it failed. I comfort myself with that," said Amy with a little quiver in her voice. "I thank you all very much for helping me, and I'll thank you still more if you won't allude to it for a month, at least." No one did for several months, but the word 'fete' always produced a general smile, and Laurie's birthday gift to Amy was a tiny coral lobster in the shape of a charm for her watch guard. CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN LITERARY LESSONS Fortune suddenly smiled upon Jo, and dropped a good luck penny in her path. Not a golden penny, exactly, but I doubt if half a million would have given more real happiness then did the little sum that came to her in this wise. Every few weeks she would shut herself up in her room, put on her scribbling suit, and 'fall into a vortex', as she expressed it, writing away at her novel with all her heart and soul, for till that was finished she could find no peace. Her 'scribbling suit' consisted of a black woolen pinafore on which she could wipe her pen at will, and a cap of the same material, adorned with a cheerful red bow, into which she bundled her hair when the decks were cleared for action. This cap was a beacon to the inquiring eyes of her family, who during these periods kept their distance, merely popping in their heads semi-occasionally to ask, with interest, "Does genius burn, Jo?" They did not always venture even to ask this question, but took an observation of the cap, and judged accordingly. If this expressive article of dress was drawn low upon the forehead, it was a sign that hard work was going on, in exciting moments it was pushed rakishly askew, and when despair seized the author it was plucked wholly off, and cast upon the floor. At such times the intruder silently withdrew, and not until the red bow was seen gaily erect upon the gifted brow, did anyone dare address Jo.

• From Little Women (1868)

  So a tray was fitted out before anyone began, and taken up with the cook's compliments. The boiled tea was very bitter, the omelet scorched, and the biscuits speckled with saleratus, but Mrs. March received her repast with thanks and laughed heartily over it after Jo was gone. "Poor little souls, they will have a hard time, I'm afraid, but they won't suffer, and it will do them good," she said, producing the more palatable viands with which she had provided herself, and disposing of the bad breakfast, so that their feelings might not be hurt, a motherly little deception for which they were grateful. Many were the complaints below, and great the chagrin of the head cook at her failures. "Never mind, I'll get the dinner and be servant, you be mistress, keep your hands nice, see company, and give orders," said Jo, who knew still less than Meg about culinary affairs. This obliging offer was gladly accepted, and Margaret retired to the parlor, which she hastily put in order by whisking the litter under the sofa and shutting the blinds to save the trouble of dusting. Jo, with perfect faith in her own powers and a friendly desire to make up the quarrel, immediately put a note in the office, inviting Laurie to dinner. "You'd better see what you have got before you think of having company," said Meg, when informed of the hospitable but rash act. "Oh, there's corned beef and plenty of potatoes, and I shall get some asparagus and a lobster, 'for a relish', as Hannah says. We'll have lettuce and make a salad. I don't know how, but the book tells. I'll have blanc mange and strawberries for dessert, and coffee too, if you want to be elegant." "Don't try too many messes, Jo, for you can't make anything but gingerbread and molasses candy fit to eat. I wash my hands of the dinner party, and since you have asked Laurie on your own responsibility, you may just take care of him." "I don't want you to do anything but be civil to him and help to the pudding. You'll give me your advice if I get in a muddle, won't you?" asked Jo, rather hurt. "Yes, but I don't know much, except about bread and a few trifles. You had better ask Mother's leave before you order anything," returned Meg prudently. "Of course I shall. I'm not a fool." And Jo went off in a huff at the doubts expressed of her powers. "Get what you like, and don't disturb me. I'm going out to dinner and can't worry about things at home," said Mrs. March, when Jo spoke to her.

• From The Decameron (1353)

  Thereupon the lady, feigning to be mightily incensed, rose to her feet and said, 'Ill luck betide thee, dost thou hold me so little of wit that, an I had a mind to such filthy fashions as thou wouldst have us believe thou sawest, I should come to do them before thy very eyes? Thou mayst be assured of this that, if ever the fancy took me thereof, I should not come hither; marry, methinketh I should have sense enough to contrive it in one of our chambers, on such wise and after such a fashion that it would seem to me an extraordinary thing if ever thou camest to know of it.' Nicostratus, himseeming that what the lady and Pyrrhus said was true, to wit, that they would never have ventured upon such an act there before himself, gave over words and reproaches and fell to discoursing of the strangeness of the fact and the miracle of the sight, which was thus changed unto whoso climbed up into the pear-tree. But his wife, feigning herself chagrined for the ill thought he had shown of her, said, 'Verily, this pear-tree shall never again, if I can help it, do me nor any other lady the like of this shame; wherefore do thou run, Pyrrhus, and fetch a hatchet and at one stroke avenge both thyself and me by cutting it down; albeit it were better yet lay it about Nicostratus his cosard, who, without any consideration, suffered the eyes of his understanding to be so quickly blinded, whenas, however certain that which thou[355] saidst might seem to those[356] which thou hast in thy head, thou shouldst for nought in the world in the judgment of thy mind have believed or allowed that such a thing could be.' [Footnote 355: This sudden change from the third to the second person, in speaking of Nicostratus, is a characteristic example of Boccaccio's constant abuse of the figure enallage in his dialogues.] [Footnote 356: _i.e._ those eyes.] Pyrrhus very readily fetched the hatchet and cut down the tree, which when the lady saw fallen, she said to Nicostratus, 'Since I see the enemy of mine honour overthrown, my anger is past,' and graciously forgave her husband, who besought her thereof, charging him that it should never again happen to him to presume such a thing of her, who loved him better than herself. Accordingly, the wretched husband, thus befooled, returned with her and her lover to the palace, where many a time thereafterward Pyrrhus took delight and pleasance more at ease of Lydia and she of him. God grant us as much!" THE TENTH STORY [Day the Seventh] TWO SIENNESE LOVE A LADY, WHO IS GOSSIP TO ONE OF THEM; THE LATTER DIETH AND RETURNING TO HIS COMPANION, ACCORDING TO PROMISE MADE HIM, RELATETH TO HIM HOW FOLK FARE IN THE OTHER WORLD

• From The Elementary Forms of the Religious Life (1915)

  Another survival of the same sort is the one concerning the maternal totem. There are strong reasons for believing that at first, the totem was transmitted in the uterine line. Therefore, wherever descent in the paternal line has been introduced, this probably took place only after a long period, during which the opposite principle was applied and the child had the totem of his mother along with all the restrictions attached to it. Now in certain tribes where the child inherits the paternal totem to-day, some of the interdictions which originally protected the totem of his mother still survive: he cannot eat it freely.[378] In the present state of affairs, however, there is no longer anything corresponding to this prohibition. To this prohibition of eating is frequently added that of killing the totem, or picking it, when it is a plant.[379] However, here also there are exceptions and tolerations. These are especially in the case of necessity, when the totem is a dangerous animal,[380] for example, or when the man has nothing to eat. There are even tribes where men are forbidden to hunt the animals whose names they bear, on their own accounts, but where they may kill them for others.[381] But the way in which this act is generally accomplished clearly indicates that it is something illicit. One excuses himself as though for a fault, and bears witness to the chagrin which he suffers and the repugnance which he feels,[382] while precautions are taken that the animal may suffer as little as possible.[383] In addition to these fundamental interdictions, certain cases of a prohibition of contact between a man and his totem are cited. Thus among the Omaha, in the clan of the Elk, no one may touch any part of the body of a male elk; in the sub-clan of the Buffalo, no one is allowed to touch the head of this animal.[384] Among the Bechuana, no man dares to clothe himself in the skin of his totem.[385] But these cases are rare; and it is natural that they should be exceptional, for normally a man must wear the image of his totem or something which brings it to mind. The tattooings and the totemic costumes would not be possible if all contact were forbidden. It has also been remarked that this prohibition has not been found in Australia, but only in those societies where totemism has advanced far from its original form; it is therefore probably of late origin and due perhaps to the influence of ideas that are really not totemic at all.[386]