Admiration

Passages

Every passage tagged with this emotion in the Vela corpus. Search the body text, narrow by source or register, click through to a book’s profile to see how the passage sits with the rest of the work.

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• From The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir (2004)

  I’ll admit to penis envy, but only for a big one—if I had one of those, I’d fuck every pretty pussy I could find, nailing each to the cross of her servitude with my big cock. I’d consider it my job, my duty, my destiny. But in the end—in my end, anyway—it is not inches that matter. I have no sense of actual length in my ass, no ruler on my anal walls. I sense size by presence, by pressure, by depth. A-Man is a depth junkie. Of his emotional and spiritual depths I cannot speak with any authority, but I do know that he searches out the depths of my bowels like a demonic Victorian explorer, a gentleman possessed. Like Sir Richard Burton entering Mecca, he is the first Westerner to have infiltrated the tangled jungle of my bowels, my uncharted territory, the heart of my darkness. And he does so with a weapon of singular penetration. #156 He hangs a large gilt mirror in my bedroom and then I suck his cock in front of it, profile, testing the reflection—it proves worthy. He then sits on the bed and says, “Now just slide back up onto my cock . . .” We’re facing the same way. Obedient, I move too fast, too eager, and my ass is pierced with that anal virgin pain. “Okay, okay,” he soothes, “I’ll do everything . . .” He turns me over, places me on Pink Square, and rests his cock at the entrance to my ass. Not moving, he reaches around, finds my clit, and pulses her until my ass releases. He then pumps my ass to kingdom come. THE LESSON One day we had a conversation. Having discovered how to surrender, I was committed to continue doing so. This entailed remaining passive, ready to submit, willing to let him manhandle me, to let him enter my ass. On this particular afternoon, he said that he loved fucking me—and my ass—that everything was terrific, and if it stayed as it was, he would still love it. But, he continued, if I learned how to suck his cock really well, that would be a real bonus. After swallowing my pride, I said, “Okay, teach me.” And he did. So well. And then I started adding things of my own.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  The Epistle to Diognetus forms the transition from the purely practical literature of the Apostolic Fathers to the reflective theology of the Apologists. It still glows with the ardor of the first love. It is strongly Pauline.1317 It breathes the spirit of freedom and higher knowledge grounded in faith. The Old Testament is Ignored, but without any sign of Gnostic contempt. 5. Authorship and Time of composition. The author calls himself "a disciple of the Apostles,"1318 but this term occurs in the appendix, and may be taken in a wider sense. In the MS. the letter is ascribed to Justin Martyr, but its style is more elegant, vigorous and terse than that of Justin and the thoughts are more original and vigorous.1319 It belongs, however, in all probability, to the same age, that is, to the middle of the second century, rather earlier than later. Christianity appears in it as something still new and unknown to the aristocratic society, as a stranger in the world, everywhere exposed to calumny and persecution of Jews and Gentiles. All this suits the reign of Antoninus Pius and of Marcus Aurelius. If Diognetus was the teacher of the latter as already suggested, we would have an indication of Rome, as the probable place of composition. Some assign the Epistle to an earlier date under Trajan or Hadrian,1320 others to the reign of Marcus Aurelius,1321 others to the close of the second century or still later.1322 The speculations about the author begin with Apollos in the first, and end with Stephens in the sixteenth century. He will probably remain unknown.1323 § 171. Sixtus of Rome. Enchiridion SIXTI philosophi Pythagorici, first ed. by Symphor. Champerius, Lugd. 1507 (under the title: Sixtii Xysti Anulus); again at Wittenberg with the Carmina aurea of Pythagoras, 1514; by Beatus Rhenanus, Bas. 1516; in the "Maxima Bibliotheca Vet. Patrum." Lugd. 1677, Tom. III. 335–339 (under the title Xysti vel Sexti Pythagorici philosophi ethnici Sententicae, interprete Rufino Presbytero Aquilejensi); by U. G. Siber, Lips. 1725 (under the name of Sixtus II. instead of Sixtus I.); and by Gildemeister (Gr., Lat. and Syr.),Bonn 1873. A Syriac Version in P. Lagardii Analecta Syriaca, Lips. and Lond. 1858 (p. 1–31, only the Syriac text, derived from seven MSS. of the Brit. Museum, the oldest before A.D. 553, but mutilated). The book is discussed in the "Max. Bibl." l. c.; by Fontaninus: Historia liter. Aquilejensis (Rom. 1742); by Fabricius, in the Bibliotheca Graeca, Tom. I. 870 sqq. (ed. Harles, 1790); by Ewald: Geschichte des Volkes Israel, vol. VII. (Göttingen, 1859), p. 321–326; and by Tobler in Annulus Rufini, Sent. Sext. (Tübingen 1878).

• From The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir (2004)

  He recoils from nostalgia, detects sentimentality across a room, and the only hard evidence of our encounters is his relentlessly hard cock. Hardly something a girl can hang on to after the act. He keeps his private life private. I’ve not met his friends and do not know what he does during time not spent with me. He rejects gossip, refuses photographs, and eschews the love note. He is not a romantic, he is a practitioner of the here and now. He acts like a man unafraid of death—or else joyously defiant. I, however, am mortified by my mortality, and so I scribble on and on, searching for evidence, creating evidence, of our affair. He says he doesn’t need devotion. He says he doesn’t even really need to be listened to. If he isn’t heard the first time, he’ll say it again. What he does want, he says, is the adventure, the ride together, the opportunity to enter a time warp with someone. A-Man is a man with many tools. He can hang a mirror with toggle bolts, clean a skylight, grill a rack of lamb, pose naked in the garden like a Rodin sculpture, and fuck my ass. He’s a doer, not a thinker, and he openly admits that he wants a woman to be smarter than he is. I have never before met a guy brave enough to want that. It is the confidence of a man who owns his cock and knows exactly what to do with it and where to put it. Thinkers, in my experience, can’t fuck; they’re too busy with the meaning and the metaphors, too busy avoiding their tool, afraid of entering a hole without a clearly marked exit. He is an underthinker—and overfucker. A-Man leaves the meaning of the metaphors to me. He has given me almost no material gifts. Except one. A twelve-pack stack of yellow legal pads. I am writing on one now. Smart guy. Why him? Four things: 1) He loves me. 2) He knows how to fuck me. 3) He doesn’t take me seriously. 4) He is not afraid of me. one else had all four. Most only had the first, and even that was usually merely a sentiment, not a course of action. If you love me you shall fuck me without fear. I don’t want to be a whore to a man’s insecurities. I want to be a whore to my own. STATISTICS

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  From this catechetical school proceeded a peculiar theology, the most learned and genial representatives of which were Clement and Origen. This theology is, on the one hand, a regenerated Christian form of the Alexandrian Jewish religious philosophy of Philo; on the other, a catholic counterpart, and a positive refutation of the heretical Gnosis, which reached its height also in Alexandria, but half a century earlier. The Alexandrian theology aims at a reconciliation of Christianity with philosophy, or, subjectively speaking, of pistis with gnosis; but it seeks this union upon the basis of the Bible, and the doctrine of the church. Its centre, therefore, is the Divine Logos, viewed as the sum of all reason and all truth, before and after the incarnation. Clement came from the Hellenic philosophy to the Christian faith; Origen, conversely, was led by faith to speculation. The former was an aphoristic thinker, the latter a systematic. The one borrowed ideas from various systems; the other followed more the track of Platonism. But both were Christian philosophers and churchly gnostics. As Philo, long before them, in the same city, had combined Judaism with Grecian culture, so now they carried the Grecian culture into Christianity. This, indeed, the apologists and controversialists of the second century had already done, as far back as Justin the "philosopher." But the Alexandrians were more learned, and made much freer use of the Greek philosophy. They saw in it not sheer error, but in one view a gift of God, and an intellectual schoolmaster for Christ, like the law in the moral and religious here. Clement compares it to a wild olive tree, which can be ennobled by faith; Origen (in the fragment of an epistle to Gregory Thaumaturgus), to the jewels, which the Israelites took with them out of Egypt, and turned into ornaments for their sanctuary, though they also wrought them into the golden calf. Philosophy is not necessarily an enemy to the truth, but may, and should be its handmaid, and neutralize the attacks against it. The elements of truth in the heathen philosophy they attributed partly to the secret operation of the Logos in the world of reason, partly to acquaintance with the writings of Moses and the prophets.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  "Einen zu bereichern unter allen, Musste diese Götterwelt vergehen." Notwithstanding this essential apostasy from truth and holiness, heathenism was religion, a groping after "the unknown God." By its superstition it betrayed the need of faith. Its polytheism rested on a dim monotheistic background; it subjected all the gods to Jupiter, and Jupiter himself to a mysterious fate. It had at bottom the feeling of dependence on higher powers and reverence for divine things. It preserved the memory of a golden age and of a fall. It had the voice of conscience, and a sense, obscure though it was, of guilt. It felt the need of reconciliation with deity, and sought that reconciliation by prayer, penance, and sacrifice. Many of its religious traditions and usages were faint echoes of the primal religion; and its mythological dreams of the mingling of the gods with men, of demigods, of Prometheus delivered by Hercules from his helpless sufferings, were unconscious prophecies and fleshly anticipations of Christian truths. This alone explains the great readiness with which heathens embraced the gospel, to the shame of the Jews.64 There was a spiritual Israel scattered throughout the heathen world, that never received the circumcision of the flesh, but the unseen circumcision of the heart by the hand of that Spirit which bloweth where it listeth, and is not bound to any human laws and to ordinary means. The Old Testament furnishes several examples of true piety outside of the visible communion with the Jewish church, in the persons of Melchisedec, the friend of Abraham, the royal priest, the type of Christ; Jethro, the priest of Midian; Rahab, the Canaanite woman and hostess of Joshua and Caleb; Ruth, the Moabitess and ancestress of our Saviour; King Hiram, the friend of David; the queen of Sheba, who came to admire the wisdom of Solomon; Naaman the Syrian; and especially Job, the sublime sufferer, who rejoiced in the hope of his Redeemer.65

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  To Melito we owe the first Christian list of the Hebrew Scriptures. It agrees with the Jewish and the Protestant canon, and omits the Apocrypha. The books of Esther and Nehemiah are also omitted, but may be included in Esdras. The expressions "the Old Books," "the Books of the Old Covenant," imply that the church at that time had a canon of the New Covenant. Melito made a visit to Palestine to seek information on the Jewish canon. He wrote a commentary on the Apocalypse, and a "Key" ( ), probably to the Scriptures.1375 The loss of this and of his books "on the Church" and "on the Lord’s Day" are perhaps to be regretted most. Among the Syriac fragments of Melito published by Cureton is one from a work "On Faith," which contains a remarkable christological creed, an eloquent expansion of the Regula Fidei.1376 The Lord Jesus Christ is acknowledged as the perfect Reason, the Word of God; who was begotten before the light; who was Creator with the Father; who was the Fashioner of man; who was all things in all; Patriarch among the patriarchs, Law in the law, Chief Priest among the priests, King among the kings, Prophet among the prophets, Archangel among the angels; He piloted Noah, conducted Abraham, was bound with Isaac, exiled with Jacob, was Captain with Moses; He foretold his own sufferings in David and the prophets; He was incarnate in the Virgin; worshipped by the Magi; He healed the lame, gave sight to the blind, was rejected by the people, condemned by Pilate, hanged upon the tree, buried in the earth, rose from the dead and appeared to the apostles, ascended to heaven; He is the Rest of the departed, the Recoverer of the lost, the Light of the blind, the Refuge of the afflicted, the Bridegroom of the Church, the Charioteer of the cherubim, the Captain of angels; God who is of God, the Son of the Father, the King for ever and ever. § 178. Apolinarius of Hierapolis. Miltiades. Claudius Apolinarius,1377 bishop of Hierapolis in Phrygia, a successor of Papias, was a very active apologetic and polemic writer about A.D. 160–180. He took a leading part in the Montanist and Paschal controversies. Eusebius puts him with Melito of Sardis among the orthodox writers of the second century, and mentions four of his "many works" as known to him, but since lost, namely an "Apology" addressed to Marcus Aurelius (before 174). "Five books against the Greeks" "Two books on Truth." "Two books against the Jews." He also notices his later books "Against the heresy of the Phrygians" (the Montanists), about 172.1378 Apolinarius opposed the Quartodeciman observance of Easter, which Melito defended.1379 Jerome mentions his familiarity with heathen literature, but numbers him among the Chiliasts.1380 The latter is doubtful on account of his opposition to Montanism. Photius praises his style. He is enrolled among the saints.1381

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  The question therefore lies between the shorter Greek copy and the Syriac version. The preponderance of testimony is for the former, in which the letters are no loose patch-work, but were produced each under its own impulse, were known to Eusebius (probably even to Polycarp),1234 and agree also with the Armenian version of the fifth century, as compared by Petermann. The three Syriac epistles, however, though they lack some of the strongest passages on episcopacy and on the divinity of Christ, contain the outlines of the same life-picture, and especially the same fervid enthusiasm for martyrdom, as the seven Greek epistles. III. His Character and Position in history. Ignatius stands out in history as the ideal of a catholic martyr, and as the earliest advocate of the hierarchical principle in both its good and its evil points. As a writer, he is remarkable for originality, freshness and force of ideas, and for terse, sparkling and sententious style; but in apostolic simplicity and soundness, he is inferior to Clement and Polycarp, and presents a stronger contrast to the epistles of the New Testament. Clement shows the calmness, dignity and governmental wisdom of the Roman character. Ignatius glows with the fire and impetuosity of the Greek and Syrian temper which carries him beyond the bounds of sobriety. He was a very uncommon man, and made a powerful impression upon his age. He is the incarnation, as it were, of the three closely connected ideas: the glory of martyrdom, the omnipotence of episcopacy, and the hatred of heresy and schism. Hierarchical pride and humility, Christian charity and churchly exclusiveness are typically represented in Ignatius.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  Origen’s greatest service was in exegesis. He is father of the critical investigation of Scripture, and his commentaries are still useful to scholars for their suggestiveness. Gregory Thaumaturgus says, he had "received from God the greatest gift, to be an interpreter of the word of God to men." For that age this judgment is perfectly just. Origen remained the exegetical oracle until Chrysostom far surpassed him, not indeed in originality and vigor of mind and extent of learning, but in sound, sober tact, in simple, natural analysis, and in practical application of the text. His great defect is the neglect of the grammatical and historical sense and his constant desire to find a hidden mystic meaning. He even goes further in this direction than the Gnostics, who everywhere saw transcendental, unfathomable mysteries. His hermeneutical principle assumes a threefold sense—somatic, psychic, and pneumatic; or literal, moral, and spiritual. His allegorical interpretation is ingenious, but often runs far away from the text and degenerates into the merest caprice; while at times it gives way to the opposite extreme of a carnal literalism, by which he justifies his ascetic extravagance.1469 Origen is one of the most important witnesses of the ante-Nicene text of the Greek Testament, which is older than the received text. He compared different MSS. and noted textual variations, but did not attempt a recension or lay down any principles of textual criticism. The value of his testimony is due to his rare opportunities and life-long study of the Bible before the time when the traditional Syrian and Byzantine text was formed. § 188. The Works of Origen. Origen was an uncommonly prolific author, but by no means an idle bookmaker. Jerome says, he wrote more than other men can read. Epiphanius, an opponent, states the number of his works as six thousand, which is perhaps not much beyond the mark, if we include all his short tracts, homilies, and letters, and count them as separate volumes. Many of them arose without his cooeperation, and sometimes against his will, from the writing down of his oral lectures by others. Of his books which remain, some have come down to us only in Latin translations, and with many alterations in favor of the later orthodoxy. They extend to all branches of the theology of that day. 1. His biblical works were the most numerous, and may be divided into critical, exegetical, and hortatory.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  II. Salomon Hess: Leben Bullinger’s. Zürich, 1828–’29, 2 vols. Not very accurate.—*Carl Pestalozzi: Heinrich Bullinger. Leben und ausgewählte Schriften. Nach handschriftlichen und gleichzeitigen Quellen. Elberfeld, 1858. Extracts from his writings, pp. 505–622. Pestalozzi has faithfully used the written and printed sources in the Stadtbibliothek and Archives of Zürich.—R. Christoffel: H. Bullinger und seine Gattin. 1875.—Justus Heer: Bullinger, in Herzog2, II. 779–794. A good summary. Older biographical sketches by Ludwig Lavater (1576), Josias Simler (1575), W. Stucki (1575), etc. Incidental information about Bullinger in Hagenbach and other works on the Swiss Reformation, and in Meyer’s Die Gemeinde von Locarno, 1836, especially I. 198–216. After the productive period of the Zwinglian Reformation, which embraced fifteen years, from 1516 to 1531, followed the period of preservation and consolidation under difficult circumstances. It required a man of firm faith, courage, moderation, patience, and endurance. Such a man was providentially equipped in the person of Heinrich Bullinger, the pupil, friend, and successor of Zwingli, and second Antistes of Zürich. He proved that the Reformation was a work of God, and, therefore, survived the apparent defeat at Cappel. He was born July 18, 1504, at Bremgarten in Aargau, the youngest of five sons of Dean Bullinger, who lived, like many priests of those days, in illegitimate, yet tolerated, wedlock.304 The father resisted the sale of indulgences by Samson in 1518, and confessed, in his advanced age, from the pulpit, the doctrines of the Reformation (1529). In consequence of this act he lost his place. Young Henry was educated in the school of the Brethren of the Common Life at Emmerich, and in the University of Cologne. He studied scholastic and patristic theology. Luther’s writings and Melanchthon’s Loci led him to the study of the Bible and prepared him for a change. He returned to Switzerland as Master of Arts, taught a school in the Cistercian Convent at Cappel from 1523 to 1529, and reformed the convent in agreement with the abbot, Wolfgang Joner. During that time he became acquainted with Zwingli, attended the Conference with the Anabaptists at Zürich, 1525, and the disputation at Bern, 1528. He married Anna Adlischweiler, a former nun, in 1529, who proved to be an excellent wife and helpmate. He accepted a call to Bremgarten as successor of his father. After the disaster at Cappel, he removed to Zürich, and was unanimously elected by the Council and the citizens preacher of the Great Minster, Dec. 9, 1531. It was rumored that Zwingli himself, in the presentiment of his death, had designated him as his successor. No better man could have been selected. It was of vital importance for the Swiss churches that the place of the Reformer should be filled by a man of the same spirit, but of greater moderation and self-restraint.305

• From A Critical and Exegetical Commentary on the Epistle to the Galatians (1921)

  1192: anéntucay ebvas &deAgod) and other words of similar meaning (cf. Rev. 316: uéddAw os évsoat éx tod otéuatds wou) are used in the tropical sense, make it unnecessary to question the tropical meaning, “‘to reject,’’ here. ava ws ayyEAOr Oeod ebéEacbé yE, as Xpiorov "Inaoor, “but ye received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus.” a yeAos is commonly used by Paul not in its general sense of ‘‘messenger”’ (Mt. rr!° Lk. 72427 9% Mk. 1? Jas. 2%5), for which he uses a7- oToXos (2 Cor. 8% Phil. 2%), but an “angel,” a superhuman being. Cfor® 32 Cor 4°13") Moand MoV ecys.0. “1 his 1s doubtless its sense here. That Paul was God’s “messenger” is implied by the context, not the word. The use of #eod without the article emphasises the qualitative character of the phrase, and brings out more strongly the dignity ascribed to Paul as God’s representative. Cf. on v.8. The sentence, however, means not that they supposed him actually to be superhuman, but that they accorded him such credence and honour as they would have given to an angel of God. Note as Xpiorov "Inooty and cf. Phm. ", édé£acbe suggests the idea of welcome more dis- tinctly than would have been done by éAaBere or Taperafere. Cf. chap. 1° 1? 3?; yet see also 2 Cor. 114, where both verbs occur. ws Xptotov ‘Inaobr is a climactic addition. Cf. Rom. 8% Col. 116 The force of @¢ is the same as with a@yyedov. As to the relation of the apostle to Christ Jesus which makes such reception possible, see 2 Cor. 52°. The meaning of the sentence would not be materially different if ayyeAoy were taken in the not impossible sense of “messenger.” Cf. 2 Cor. 127, where &yyeAog Datavé is similarly ambiguous, the phrase referring figuratively to a bodily affliction of some kind. Yet, that in IVs) £45 243 both cases the word itself denotes a superhuman being is rendered prob- able by Paul’s evident belief in such beings and his usual use of the word. See Everling, Die paulinische Angelologie und Démonologie, pp. 59.f. Dib. Gwt. pp. 45 ff. 15, Tod ody 6 pakapiopes buadv" “ Where, then, is that gratu- lation of yourselves?” The question is rhetorical, implying that the gratulation has ceased, but without good reason. Cf. Lk. 8%: rod 7 wioris busy; and for instances with different implication, see Rom. 327 1 Cor. 12° 121719. ody has the force of guae cum iia sint, referring to the facts stated in vv. ™. vpyav is probably objective genitive after Maxaptopos, “declara- tion of blessedness,”’ as is ToD avOp@Tov in Rom.

• From The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir (2004)

  Bentley is shameless, brazen, and hot.” — JERRY STAHL , author of Permanent Midnight and I, Fatty “The art of talking dirty has come late to women, but when we get it—and Toni Bentley has—the pages burst into flames.” — NANCY FRIDAY , author of Women on Top and My Secret Garden “What Bentley has achieved in these pages is something rare and unexpected. Hers is an erotic journey neither prurient nor grandiose, resulting in a work of high literary ambition rendered unforgettable by its unflinching candor.” — DAVID M. FRIEDMAN , author of A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis “Toni Bentley has gone into territory other writers are afraid of, and that has been considered male territory at that, and done so bravely and sexily.” — PHILIP WEISS , author of American Taboo: Murder in the Peace Corps Also by Toni Bentley Winter Season: A Dancer’s Journal Holding On to the Air: An Autobiography (by Suzanne Farrell with Toni Bentley) Costumes by Karinska Sisters of Salome CREDITS Cover image of Toni Bentley © John Wheeler. Used by permission; courtesy of John Wheeler. Author Photo by: Michele Mattei Copyright THE SURRENDER. Copyright © 2004 by Toni Bentley. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks. The Library of Congress has cataloged the hardcover edition as follows: Bentley, Toni. The surrender : an erotic memoir / Toni Bentley.—1st ed. p. cm . ISBN 0-06-073246-6 1. Bentley, Toni. 2. Women—United States—Sexual behavior—Case studies. 3. Women—United States—Biography. 4. Ballet dancers—United States—Biography. 5. Anal sex. I. Title. HQ29.B45 2004 306.77—dc22 [B] 2004050807 ISBN 0-06-073247-4 (pbk.) Epub Edition © SEPTEMBER 2012 ISBN: 9780062253330 Version 09212012 05 06 07 08 09 RRD 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 About the Publisher Australia HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd. Level 13, 201 Elizabeth Street Sydney, NSW 2000, Australia http://www.harpercollins.com.au Canada HarperCollins Canada 2 Bloor Street East - 20th Floor Toronto, ON, M4W, 1A8, Canada http://www.harpercollins.ca New Zealand HarperCollins Publishers (New Zealand) Limited P.O. Box 1 Auckland, New Zealand http://www.harpercollins.co.nz United Kingdom HarperCollins Publishers Ltd. 77-85 Fulham Palace Road London, W6 8JB, UK http://www.harpercollins.co.uk United States HarperCollins Publishers Inc. 10 East 53rd Street New York, NY 10022 http://www.harpercollins.com

• From Delta of Venus (1977)

  In his talk it was the madness that predominated, his compulsion to analyze. Everything which befell him, everything which came into his hands, every hour of the day, was constantly commented upon, ripped apart. He could not kiss, desire, possess, enjoy, without immediate examination. He planned his moves beforehand with the help of astrology; he often met with the marvelous; he had a gift for evoking it. But no sooner had the marvelous befallen him than he grasped it with the violence of a man who was not sure of having seen it, lived it; and who longed to make it real. I liked his pregnable self, sensitive and porous, just before he talked, when he seemed a very soft animal, or a very sensual one, when his malady was not perceptible. He seemed then without wounds, walking about with a heavy bag full of discoveries, notes, programs, new books, new talismans, new perfumes, photographs. He seemed then to be floating like the houseboat without moorings. He wandered, tramped, explored, visited the insane, cast horoscopes, gathered esoteric knowledge, collected plants, stones. “There is a perfection in everything that cannot be owned,” he said. “I see it in fragments of cut marble, I see it in worn pieces of wood. There is a perfection in a woman’s body that can never be possessed, known completely, even in intercourse.” He wore the flowing tie of the bohemians of a hundred years ago, the cap of an apache, the striped trousers of the French bourgeois. Or he wore a black coat like a monk’s, the bow tie of the cheap actor of the provinces, or the scarf of the pimp, wrapped around the throat, a scarf of yellow or bull’s-blood red. Or he wore a suit given to him by a businessman, with the tie flaunted by the Parisian gangster or the hat worn on Sunday by the father of eleven children. He appeared in the black shirt of a conspirator, in the checkered shirt of a peasant from Bourgogne, in a workman’s suit of blue corduroy with wide baggy trousers. At times he let his beard grow and looked like Christ. At other times he shaved himself and looked like a Hungarian violinist from a traveling fair. I never knew in what disguise he was coming to see me. If he had an identity, it was the identity of changing, of being anything; it was the identity of the actor for whom there is a continual drama. He had said to me, “I will come some day.” Now he lay on the bed looking at the painted ceiling of the houseboat. He felt the cover of the bed with his hands. He looked out the window at the river. “I like to come here, to the barge,” he said. “It lulls me. The river is like a drug. What I suffer from seems unreal when I come here.”

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  Asia Minor, the scene of the last labors of St. John, produced a luminous succession of divines and confessors who in the first three quarters of the second century reflected the light of the setting sun of the apostolic age, and may be called the pupils of St. John. Among them were Polycarp of Smyrna, Papias of Hierapolis, Apolinarius of Hierapolis, Melito of Sardis, and others less known but honorably mentioned in the letter of Polycrates of Ephesus to bishop Victor of Rome (A. D. 190). The last and greatest representative of this school is Irenaeus, the first among the fathers properly so called, and one of the chief architects of the Catholic system of doctrine. I. Life and Character. Little is known of Irenaeus except what we may infer from his writings. He sprang from Asia Minor, probably from Smyrna, where he spent his youth.1392 He was born between A.D. 115 and 125..1393 He enjoyed the instruction of the venerable Polycarp of Smyrna, the pupil of John, and of other "Elders," who were mediate or immediate disciples of the apostles. The spirit of his preceptor passed over to him. "What I heard from him" says he, "that wrote I not on paper, but in my heart, and by the grace of God I constantly bring it afresh to mind." Perhaps he also accompanied Polycarp on his journey to Rome in connexion with the Easter controversy (154). He went as a missionary to Southern Gaul which seems to have derived her Christianity from Asia Minor. During the persecution in Lugdunum and Vienne under Marcus Aurelius (177), he was a presbyter there and witnessed the horrible cruelties which the infuriated heathen populace practiced upon his brethren.1394 The aged and venerable bishop, Pothinus, fell a victim, and the presbyter took the post of danger, but was spared for important work. He was sent by the Gallican confessors to the Roman bishop Eleutherus (who ruled A.D. 177–190), as a mediator in the Montanistic disputes.1395 After the martyrdom of Pothinus he was elected bishop of Lyons (178), and labored there with zeal and success, by tongue and pen, for the restoration of the heavily visited church, for the spread of Christianity in Gaul, and for the defence and development of its doctrines. He thus combined a vast missionary and literary activity. If we are to trust the account of Gregory of Tours, he converted almost the whole population of Lyons and sent notable missionaries to other parts of pagan France.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  Almost all the catholic saints belong to the higher degrees of the clergy or to the monastic life. And the monks were the chief promoters of the worship of saints. At the head of the heavenly chorus stands Mary, crowned as queen by the side of her divine Son; then come the apostles and evangelists, who died a violent death, the protomartyr Stephen, and the martyrs of the first three centuries; the patriarchs and prophets also of the Old Covenant down to John the Baptist; and finally eminent hermits and monks, missionaries, theologians, and bishops, and those, in general, who distinguished themselves above their contemporaries in virtue or in public service. The measure of ascetic self-denial was the measure of Christian virtue. Though many of the greatest saints of the Bible, from the patriarch Abraham to Peter, the prince of the apostles, lived in marriage, the Romish ethics, from the time of Ambrose and Jerome, can allow no genuine holiness within the bonds of matrimony, and receives only virgines and some few vidui and viduae into its spiritual nobility.814 In this again the close connection of saint-worship with monasticism is apparent. To the saints, about the same period, were added angels as objects of worship. To angels there was ascribed in the church from the beginning a peculiar concern with the fortunes of the militant church, and a certain oversight of all lands and nations. But Ambrose is the first who expressly exhorts to the invocation of our patron angels, and represents it as a duty.815 In favor of the guardianship and interest of angels appeal was rightly made to several passages of the Old and New Testaments: Dan. x. 13, 20, 21; xii. 1; Matt. xviii. 10; Luke xv. 7; Heb. i. 14; Acts xii. 15. But in Col. ii. 18, and Rev. xix. 10; xxii. 8, 9, the worship of angels is distinctly rebuked. Out of the old Biblical notion of guardian angels arose also the idea of patron saints for particular countries, cities, churches, and classes, and against particular evils and dangers. Peter and Paul and Laurentius became the patrons of Rome; James, the patron of Spain; Andrew, of Greece; John, of theologians; Luke, of painters; subsequently Phocas, of seamen; Ivo, of jurists; Anthony, a protector against pestilence; Apollonia, against tooth-aches; &c. These different orders of saints and angels form a heavenly hierarchy, reflected in the ecclesiastical hierarchy on earth. Dionysius the Areopagite, a fantastical Christian Platonist of the fifth-century, exhibited the whole relation of man to God on the basis of the hierarchy; dividing the hierarchy into two branches, heavenly and earthly, and each of these again into several degrees, of which every higher one was the mediator of salvation to the one below it. These are the outlines of the saint-worship of our period. Now to the exposition and estimate of it, and then the proofs.

• From A Critical and Exegetical Commentary on the Epistle to the Galatians (1921)

  T. (see Acts 15 Rom. 15 1 Cor. 92; it is otherwise in classical Greek and the Lxx) refers specifically to the office and work of an apostle of Christ; see on 11. The omission of the article gives the word qualitative force. The preposition cic expresses not mere reference but purpose or result, “for or unto the creation of,” t. e., “so as to make him an apostle.” Ths neprtoufs is here, as in v.’?, by metonymy for “the circumcised.” elg t& vn is manifestly a condensed expression equivalent to els &rootoAny tay efvey, or the like, used for brevity’s sake or through negligence. That &xoctoAny is omitted because of an unwillingness on Paul’s part to claim apostleship for himself is excluded alike by the whole thought of the sentence and by 11. 9. Kal yvovtes THY ydpw THY SoOeicdy por, ’IdxkwPos Kal Kyn¢as Kat “Iwdvns, of Soxodvtes attra eivar, SeEvas eSa@Kxav €uol cat BapvdBa Kowwvias, “and when, I say, they per- ceived the grace that had been given to me, James and Cephas and John, who were accounted to be pillars, gave to me and to Barnabas right hands of fellowship.” These I, 8-9 95 words resume the thought of v.’, virtually repeating ¢ddvTes 67 TerioTevpat, etc., and completing what was there begun. It is an overrefinement to attempt to discover a marked dif- ference between éOdvTes and yvevtes. The “grace that was given to me” is manifestly the grace of God or Christ (on the word yapus, see 13 and detached note p. 423), including espe- cially the entrusting to him of the gospel to the uncircumcised (v.7), but not necessarily excluding that manifested in the results which he had been able to accomplish. Cf. Rom. 15, &¢ ob [sc. "Inood Xprorot] éraPopev yapw Kal arocroAny els UraKony Tictews év Tacw Tos EOveowv, See also x Cor. 319 152° Eph. 3% 7 8 47, On the question how the other apostles came to recognise that God had given him this grace, cf. on v.7. The giving of right hands is in token of a mutual compact, while Kowwvias defines that compact as one of partnership, See more fully below in fine print. The placing of the name of James first is probably the reflection of a certain prominence of James in the action here spoken of and of his influence in the decision, even above that of Peter. Thus while Peter is mentioned in vv.” 8, as in some sense the apostle of the circumcision, tz. €., as the leader in missionary work among the Jews, James was apparently the man of greatest influence in the settlement of a ques- tion of policy, involving one of doctrine in the more practical sense. Cf. on vv. 8. The substitution of Téte0¢ for Knp&s, and the placing of it before *I&xwGog (DFG df g Vg. Syr. [psh. harcl.] Tert.

• From A Critical and Exegetical Commentary on the Epistle to the Galatians (1921)

  4%. Even if vyev be taken as subjective genitive (Sief.), it would be neces- sary to understand it as referring to a gratulation of themselves, not of others, as is shown clearly by the following sentence introduced by Yap and referring to the enthusiasm of the Gala- tians in receiving Paul. On the use of the simple pronoun for the reflexive, see Rob. p. 681, and the examples in the imme- diately preceding and following sentences, Tetpagwov buoy and opParpwors tua. IIod is the reading of SABCFGP 33, 104, 424**, 442, 1912 f g Veg. Syr. (psh. harcl. mg.), Boh. Arm. Euthal. Dam. Hier. Pelag. Of these f Vg. Boh. (?) Arm. Hier. al. add éottv after ov. DKL al. pler. d Goth. Syr. (harcl. txt.) Thdr. Mop. Sever. Chr. Thdrt. Thphyl. Oec. Victorin. Aug. Ambrst. al. read cfg instead of xod. DFGK al. pler. de Goth. Chr. Thdrt. Aug. Ambrst. add fy after obv. The choice is between x00 ody and tic ody jy, the other readings being corruptions or con- flations of these. Internal evidence is indecisive. Mey. and, follow- ing him, Zahn prefer tfc ody qv. But the strong preponderance of external evidence requires the adoption of mod oty. The alternative reading is probably an unintentional clerical corruption, IO being converted into TIX, and Y omitted to make sense. papTupa yap buiy bri et duvatdv Tods ddbarpors tua éfo- puéavtes edwxaré wor. “For I bear you witness that ye would, if possible, have plucked out your eyes and given them to me.” A confirmation immediately of the assertion implied in 0 waKkapiopuos vue but indirectly of the affirmation of their 244 GALATIANS former favourable attitude, which began with odSév jduxjnoaré ue, v.38, That he dwells on this matter at such length and states it so strongly shows the apostle’s strong desire to rein- state himself in the affections of the Galatians. The language escapes hyperbole only by the expression ¢i dvvatov, The inference from the reference to the eyes that Paul’s weakness of the flesh was a disease of the eyes, though slightly favoured by «i dvvarey in preference, e. g., to € avayKatoy is very pre- carious. ‘Yuty is not an indirect object denoting the person who receives the testimony (cf. Acts 158), but dative of advantage, denoting the one to whose credit witness is borne (cf. Acts 225 Rom. 10? Col. 418). et Suvatdy ... éShxaté wor is evidently a hypothesis contrary to fact, &y being omitted. Cf. BMT 249 and Mt. 26% Jn. 9%* 15% 19% On the mention of the eyes as the most precious members of the body, ¢f. Deut. 321° Ps. 178 Zach. 28, and on é&0edcow of the plucking out of the eyes, see Hdt. 85%: é&bouEe adtHv 6 cathe tole dp)arkods Se& thy aitlny tabcyy (viz., for going to war against his command), and other exx. cited by Wetst., ad loc., also Lxx, Judg. 162 (A; B reads éxxéxtw); t Sam. 112.

• From History of the Christian Church: The Complete Set of Eight Volumes (1858)

  In August, 1542, he left Florence; Peter Martyr followed two days later. He was provided with a servant and a horse by Ascanio Colonna, a brother of Vittoria, his friend.935 At Ferrara, the Duchess Renata furnished him with clothing and other necessaries, and probably also with a letter to her friend Calvin. According to Boverius, the annalist of the Capuchins, who deplores his apostasy as a great calamity for the order, he was accompanied by three lay brethren from Florence. He proceeded through the Grisons to Zürich, and stopped there two days. He was kindly received by Bullinger, who speaks of him in a letter to Vadian (Dec. 19, 1542) as a venerable man, famous for sanctity of life and eloquence. He arrived at Geneva about September, 1542, and remained there three years. He preached to the small Italian congregation, but devoted himself chiefly to literary work by which he hoped to reach a larger public in his native land. He was deeply impressed with the moral and religious prosperity of Geneva, the like of which he had never seen before, and gave a favorable description of it in one of his Italian sermons.936 "In Geneva, where I am now residing," he wrote in October, 1542, "excellent Christians are daily preaching the pure word of God. The Holy Scriptures are constantly read and openly discussed, and every one is at liberty to propound what the Holy Spirit suggests to him, just as, according to the testimony of Paul, was the case in the primitive Church. Every day there is a public service of devotion. Every Sunday there is catechetical instruction of the young, the simple, and the ignorant. Cursing and swearing, unchastity, sacrilege, adultery, and impure living, such as prevail in many places where I have lived, are unknown here. There are no pimps and harlots. The people do not know what rouge is, and they are all clad in a seemly fashion. Games of chance are not customary. Benevolence is so great that the poor need not beg. The people admonish each other in brotherly fashion, as Christ prescribes. Lawsuits are banished from the city; nor is there any simony, murder, or party spirit, but only peace and charity. On the other hand, there are no organs here, no noise of bells, no showy songs, no burning candles and lamps, no relics, pictures, statues, canopies, or splendid robes, no farces, or cold ceremonies. The churches are quite free from all idolatry."937 Ochino wrote at Geneva a justification of his flight, in a letter to Girolamo Muzio (April 7, 1543). In a letter to the magistrates of Siena, he gave a full confession of his faith based chiefly on the eighth chapter of the Epistle to the Romans (Nov. 3, 1543). He published, in rapid succession, seven volumes of Italian sermons or theological essays.938

• From Birthday Girl (2018)

  —Tómate tu tiempo. Quería tanto alejarme de mis padres, y entonces fue cuando descubrí que no tenía dinero, porque pagar las cuentas eran más responsabilidades de lo que podía manejar, y corrí de regreso a casa. —Toma su vaso y lo sostiene contra sus labios, lanzándole una mirada a los chicos—. Aunque estoy feliz de que Pike haya conseguido algo de compañía. Esa casa es demasiado grande para una sola persona. Tomo un trago de mi botella de agua, siguiendo su mirada. Odio pensar en Pike viviendo solo en esa casa cuando me vaya. De verdad debería compartir su vida con alguien más. —Conozco un par de mujeres solteras que no lo pensarían si les diera la oportunidad —comento, pensando en April, mi hermana, y la mitad de las mamás de nuestra cuadra que coquetean con él cuando pasan por su casa mientras trotan. —Sí, pero él es un solitario —replica. Asiento, sonriendo en acuerdo. —Sí, estoy empezando a entender eso. —No siempre fue así. —Me mira, tomando un sorbo de su bebida—. Se parecía mucho a Cole en ese entonces. Festejando, riendo, excediendo la velocidad, rompiendo las reglas… Incluso pasó la noche en la cárcel una vez. Mis cejas se levantan en un salto. ¿En serio? Dirijo mis ojos de regreso a él y lo veo sacar la gorra de béisbol de su bolsillo trasero y ponerla sobre su cabello castaño claro, los músculos de sus brazos tatuados sobresaliendo contra su camiseta. —Pero luego nació Cole —digo, adivinando la historia desde allí. —Sí. —Suspira Teresa, meciéndose de izquierda a derecha con la música que suena desde un altavoz en una de las casas—. Alguien tenía que ser el adulto, y Lindsay… —se voz se desvanece y luego se endereza, aclarando su garganta—, lo siento. No pretendo ser una chismosa. —Está bien —le digo—. Evidentemente es muy reservado. He visto a la madre de Cole aquí y allá, y es difícil imaginarla con Pike. Es bastante ostentosa, y siento que el Pike que conozco sufriría un latigazo tratando de seguirle el ritmo. Al menos, por lo que Cole me ha dicho, sé que el asunto entre sus padres no duró mucho tiempo, y si él no tuviera los mismos rasgos de su padre, me pregunto si Pike estaría seguro que Cole es su hijo. Ella ha tenido al menos cuatro novios a quienes he visto en los últimos años. Teresa exhala y baja la voz. —Pike es una prueba de que aprendemos cuando nos vemos obligados a hacerlo y la madurez es más el resultado de la experiencia que de la edad —me dice—. Era el único chico de veinte años que sabía que trabajaba en dos empleos, sin siquiera pensar un segundo en todos los amigos que estaba perdiendo porque nunca podía salir. Miro hacia ella, queriendo repentinamente saberlo todo. Quiero saber cualquier información sobre quién era antes de conocerlo.

• From Birthday Girl (2018)

  Eso está bien, ¿verdad? Es normal encontrar a otras personas atractivas. Eso sucede. Quiero decir, Scarlett Johansson es atractiva. Eso no quiere decir que esté interesada en ella. Mordisqueo de nuevo mi dona, mi mirada yendo a un lado de nuevo, observando sus brazos y los múltiples tatuajes. Engranajes y pernos, como el armazón de un robot, un trabajo tribal que definitivamente dice que fue un chico de los 90, y apenas puedo ver lo que creo es un reloj de bolsillo que parece que está tratando de romper su piel. Es como una mezcla sin ningún tema discernible, pero es un trabajo hermoso. Me pregunto cuál es la historia tras ellos. Tomo otro bocado, el glaseado rosa y las chispas arcoíris envían descargas eléctricas al fondo de mi boca, haciéndome querer meter toda la cosa en mi boca. —Sabes, de verdad me gustaría tener abdominales —comento, masticando—, pero estas están muy buenas. Suelta una carcajada, mirándome y riéndose. —¿Qué? —Nada. Simplemente eres… —Aparta la mirada como si buscara las palabras—. Eres solo, como, interesante o… ¿algo? —Sacude la cabeza—. Lo siento, no sé qué quiero decir. —Y entonces de la nada dice—: Linda. —Como si acabara de recordarlo—. Quiero decir que eres linda. Mi estómago da un vuelco, y el calor inunda mis mejillas como si estuviera de nuevo en quinto año, cuando era un halago tremendo que el chico que te gustaba te dijera que eras linda. Sé que habla de mi personalidad y no de mi apariencia, pero me gusta. Termina la dona y toma un sorbo de su soda. —Entonces, ¿qué edad tienes? —pregunta—. ¿Unos veintitrés, veinticuatro? —Claro, en un tiempo. Suelta una risa. —Diecinueve —respondo finalmente. Toma aire y suspira, hay algo extraño en su mirada. —¿Qué? —Tomo el último mordisco y rozo mis manos entre sí, apoyando e inclinando mi cabeza contra la silla. —Ser tan joven de nuevo —reflexiona—. Parece que fue ayer. Bueno, ¿qué edad podría tener? Diecinueve no pudo haber sido hace tanto para él. ¿Diez años? ¿Tal vez doce? —Entonces, ¿harías algunas cosas diferentes si pudieras volver? —indago. Esboza una tensa sonrisa y me mira, sus ojos serios. —Déjame decirte algo… un pequeño consejo, ¿está bien? Escucho, mirándolo y con mis ojos fijos en los suyos. —Avanza a toda marcha —me dice. ¿Eh? Debe ver la confusión en mis ojos porque continúa: —El tiempo se pasa como una bala —asegura—, y el miedo te da las excusas que buscas para no hacer las cosas que sabes que deberías. No dudes de ti misma, no lo pienses dos veces, no dejes que el miedo te contenga, no seas perezosa, y no bases tus decisiones en lo felices que harán a otros. Solo hazlo, ¿bien? Lo miro, y desafortunadamente, parece que es lo único que puedo hacer.

• From Tipping the Velvet (1998)

  He was an impressive, rather than a handsome, man, but for all his flash and his speeches, rather homely: I thought he must have a little wife who loved him, and a baby; and that if he did not - which, in fact, was the case - that he should have. I knew nothing, then, of his history, but learned later that he came from an old, respectable, theatrical family (his real name was no more Bliss, of course, than Kitty’s was Butler); that he had left the legitimate stage when he was still a young man, in order to work the halls as a comic singer; and that he managed, now, a dozen artistes, but still, on occasion, took a turn before the footlights - as ‘Walter Waters, Character Baritone’ - for sheer love of the profession. I knew none of this that day in the brougham - but I began to guess a little of it. For we had reached Pall Mall and turned into the Haymarket, where the theatres and the music halls begin; and as we rumbled past them he raised his hand and tilted the brim of his hat in a kind of salute. I have seen old Irishwomen, passing before a church, do something similar. ‘Her Majesty’s,’ he said, nodding to a handsome building on his left: ‘my father saw Jenny Lind, the Swedish Nightingale, make her debut there. The Haymarket: managed by Mr Beerbohm Tree. The Criterion, or Cri: a marvel of a theatre, built entirely underground.’ Theatre upon theatre, hall upon hall; and he knew all their histories. ‘Ahead of us, the London Pavilion. Down there’ - we squinted along Great Windmill Street - ‘the Trocadero Palace. On our right, the Prince’s Theatre.’ We passed into Leicester Square; he took a breath. ‘And finally,’ he said - and here he removed his hat entirely, and held it in his lap - ‘finally, the Empire and the Alhambra, the handsomest music halls in England, where every artiste is a star, and the audience is so distinguished that even the gay girls in the gallery - if you’ll pardon my French, Miss Butler, Miss Astley - wear furs, and pearls, and diamonds.’ He tapped on the ceiling of the brougham, and the driver drew to a halt at a corner of the little garden in the middle of the square.